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Lonely Affects and Queer Sexualities: a Politics of Loneliness

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Lonely Affects and Queer Sexualities: a Politics of Loneliness LONELY AFFECTS AND QUEER SEXUALITIES: A POLITICS OF LONELINESS IN CONTEMPORARY WESTERN CULTURE By MELISSA CARROLL B.A., M.A. A Thesis Submitted to the School of Graduate Studies in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy McMaster University © Copyright by Melissa Carroll, July 2013 DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY (2013) McMaster University (English and Cultural Studies) Hamilton, Ontario TITLE: Lonely Affects and Queer Sexualities: A Politics of Loneliness in Contemporary Western Culture AUTHOR: Melissa Carroll B.A. (U.P.E.I.), M.A. (McMaster University) SUPERVISOR: Dr. Sarah Brophy NUMBER OF PAGES: vii, 347 ABSTRACT In this thesis, I explore the manner in which loneliness has been presented culturally, scientifically, politically, and academically as the asocial antithesis of happiness. I suggest lonely people are presented throughout these discourses as misfits, trapped by their lonely feelings and in danger of entrapping others. I further put forth that the impetus to understand and promote a conception of loneliness as depressive and alienating is politically inflected, strengthening neoliberal models of sociality that rely upon particular notions of good citizenship. As a consequence, Western scientific, academic, and cultural discourses continue to reinforce particular brands of “productive” intimacy (heterosexual, middle/upper class, able-bodied, white, monogamous partnerships), while strategically policing the lonely person’s presumed immaturity, negativity, and illegibility. The thesis begins by considering how recent scientific studies are lodged in evolutionary models, with the implication that they position loneliness as an abnormal and dangerous setback to Western sociability and its progress. As a corollary, I demonstrate that contemporary cultural narratives such as Dan Savage's "It Gets Better Project" that have surfaced in order to address queer, teen suicide, bullying, and violence tend to frame loneliness as a degenerate feeling that warrants survivalist tactics and adaptations away from queerness. In scientific and cultural discourses alike, then, loneliness has become stuck onto queer subjects and can only be understood as a condition that infects a sub-set of weak and vulnerable subjects. Judged for their seeming narcissistic and unhappy tendencies, queer sexualities come to be considered dangerous and contagious, and lonely queer bodies are being represented in scientific, cultural, and social media narrativizations as the reason for a larger, Western failed happiness. The body of the thesis deepens and extends these concerns by analyzing the marked tension between the figurative language that speaks of loneliness as a pathology and an (a)political desire for selfish individualism. I suggest that in light of the current failures of Western sociality what is needed is a space for an understanding of the everydayness of loneliness and its potential to be political. Drawing on critical work on affective politics, this thesis makes a space for the lonely queers among us. Focusing attention on four key areas— the science of loneliness, lesbian narcissism, childhood sexuality, and queer disability—I argue that loneliness is neither an exceptional trauma, nor is it extraordinary: rather, it is every subject’s inheritance. By envisioning loneliness as possibly pleasurable as much as it is traumatic, and by seeing the act of declaring oneself lonely as a political strategy, I argue that we may be encouraged to re-evaluate the ways in which we experience relationality, human empathy, and sociality. Moreover, our shared loneliness as Western subjects may actually have the potential to rupture the rigidity of societal paradigms (sexism, ableism, classism, racism, and homophobia) that are based upon exclusion, upward mobility, and capital gain. ACKNOWLEDMENTS To say that I am indebted to a number of wonderful people would be an understatement: I simply could not have completed this thesis without the support, compassion, and patience of my closest friends and families. Dr. Sarah Brophy, my thesis supervisor, has been a constant ally throughout this long process. She selflessly came to my project’s (and my own) rescue in the early stages when the supervisor I had originally signed on to work with got a job in the U.S. Although she was overworked herself, Dr. Brophy graciously accepted my proposal to work with her and I am eternally thankful. This dissertation would not have been possible had it not been for the generous perspectives she brought to the table, and the countless hours she devoted to editing and reading. My incredible committee members were the light at the end of so many tunnels. Dr. Mary O’Connor served to literally get me out of my own head in moments of extreme pressure, and out into the sunshine, where she, and her dearly departed dog, would take me on walks and help me think through thesis chapters and ideas. Her experience in Archive theory informed much of my musings on the body and the power ugly affects can muster. Dr. Melinda Gough has been a constant support to me throughout the entirety of my graduate degree. Her impeccable knowledge as a feminist scholar has enabled me to wade my way through tough, political, and oftentimes obtuse theories that, without her, would have dizzied me to death. Further, her skills as an editor with the keenest sense of accuracy and detail have transformed my oftentimes poetic, creative musings, into coherent thoughts and theories. To each of my committee members I say thank you for not only being wonderful colleagues and mentors, but valued friends. Next: my families. I come from a beautifully supportive family in Prince Edward Island who has always encouraged me to pursue any dream I could conjure. To my mother, Kathy Jenkins, my father, Tim Carroll, my sister, Esther Carroll, two brothers, Patrick and Daniel Carroll, and my nephews Griffin and Brennan, I want to say thank you for always believing I could do this even when I was certain you were each wrong. Being a lonely gay girl in Toronto has also led me to locate and love another family that has been paramount to my everyday life. Taking my heart into their hands they ensured me I was adored and made me laugh like no other. I could never have developed, seen my way through, fretted over, and completed this thesis without the unconditional love of Camilla Gibb, my dear friend and family, her vivacious daughter Ollie, who has made me re- remember what love is, and Evelyn, who not only accepted this odd, queer girl as a friend and, at times, roommate, but who gave me the nickname, Miles, the lonely gay. Oftentimes people say friends come and go, and I have seen this occur a lot of times in my life as I have always been transient, never resting in one place for too long. However, Toronto has afforded me rest, stability, and kindness. To Anna Evans, I want to say thank you for putting up with an often times hurried version of myself. To Laura Krahn, thank you for listening to me whine about whining through the earlier part of my thesis. To Sarah Orr, thank you for listening, sharing, and drinking cold beer with me. To Andrew MacDonald, thank you for forcing me out of my lonely headspace, and into the dance clubs and the streets of Portugal. You each have been stalwart friends. A massive thanks goes out to Ailsa Kay who helped me through the final stages of this thesis in ways I will never be able to repay. Steering the course is easy when I have friends such as you. And to Jesse and Will, thank you so much for getting me here. There would be no Dr. Carroll without the care and support you gave me during the earliest years of my education. Dear Teiya Kasahara. I cannot forget about you or the love that you have brought into my life. You found me in a moment of stubborn resolve, where I was determined not to let romantic love in. And yet, here we are. You are the most precious gift, and I am the luckiest of all lucky. I will work hard to remind you of that everyday as we build our lonely lesbian lives together. And finally, thank you to the thousands of teens and their parents who have spoken with me about their loneliness. Your bravery and refusal to accept a world where happiness is bought and on offer only to a select few people into its fold, has inspired me to continue to work for the voices that are so often misheard, and the people who are so violently mislead. TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction: Feeling Lonely: Unpretty Affects Becoming Political 1 Lonely Gays and the Ways We Play 1 Lonely and Delirious: Killing the Trench Coat 10 It Gets Happier 14 “Fuck ‘em All!” 19 Tumbling Down the Slope of Loneliness 25 Darwin’s Lonely DNA 31 Unhappy Being Happy 33 The Lonely Turn 36 Happy Intolerance 42 Chapter One: Critical and Cultural Engagements with Loneliness 44 Science’s Stake in Mistaking Loneliness 44 The Lonely Celebrity 50 The Science of Loneliness 57 Darwin’s Lonely Monkey 77 Science’s Lonely Turn 95 Chapter 2: Narcissistically Attached: Waters’ and Connell’s Lesbian Sociality 101 The New L-Word 101 Who’s Fairest in the Land? 113 Coming For Bersani 123 I Saw Her From Inside of My Mirror 129 At Night I’m Watching Julia 142 Ordinarily Queer Duplicates 163 Chapter Three: Homophobic Zombification: Queer Pustules of Resistance 181 This Kiss is Gonna Hurt 181 A Kiss With a Fist is Better Than None 186 If I Make You Happy, I Can’t Be That Bad 201 Fear the Queer: Queer the Fear 217 Chapter Four: Tripping Over White Lies: The Lonely (Dis)abling of Neoliberalism 237 Miserable Lesbians 237 “Just Fly to Paris:” Getting Better One False Promise at a Time 245 The Miracle of W-A-T-E-R 257 Cripplingly Tolerable: Terry Galloway’s True Little Lies 277 Little “s” Special 297 Conclusion 304 Works Cited 310 Appendices 343 PhD Thesis - M.
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