Behavior Modification in Children with Temper Tantrums
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Behavior Modification in Children With Temper Tantrums by Kay Ireland, Demand Media Avoid reacting to your child's tantrum, which could reinforce the behavior. Related Articles How to Curb a Three-Year-Old's Temper Tantrum Behavior Modification for ADHD Children How to Stop Toddler Tantrums & Misbehaving How to De-Escalate a Tantrum Parenting: Behavior Modification for a 5 Year Old Signs of Abnormal Child Behavior It can happen anytime, anywhere -- your child erupts into a fit of screaming and crying. Your first instinct might be to give her whatever she wants to make the behavior stop, but doing so will just reinforce the behavior. Instead, take steps to stop the behavior quickly and then teach your child that throwing fits is completely ineffective in helping her get what she wants in the future. Sponsored Link 5 Foods you must not eat Cut down a bit of stomach fat every day by never eating these 5 foods. trimdownclub.com Redirect Attention When you're in the throes of dealing with a tantrum -- especially in a public place -- you need the behavior to stop as soon as possible. The practice of redirection and distraction often works as a quick fix to calm down your little one until you can address the behavior. The Colorado State University Extension website suggests redirecting your child's attention to something that makes her forget her tantrum altogether, like a toy or activity. While it might not always work, it could stop a minor tantrum from becoming a full-on meltdown. Avoid a Reaction Your child throws a tantrum because she wants to elicit a reaction from you. If you give her attention -- even negative attention -- you could be reinforcing the behavior, causing it to happen again and again. Never give into your fretting child's demands, warns the American Academy of Pediatrics' HealthyChildren.org. Instead, remain calm. If the tantrum is minor, try ignoring the behavior altogether. If it's severe, say, "I'm sorry, I can't talk to you when you're crying like that. Let me know when you've calmed down and we can talk." That way, your little one learns that tantrums won't help her get what she wants. Offer Choices Tantrums often occur when your child feels out of control and helpless -- they're her way of tipping the scales in her favor. You can head off and stop tantrums by offering choices whenever possible, suggests the University of Michigan Health System website. You don't have to give your child free reign over your home, but offering a couple of choices could be enough to keep your child calm. Try "Do you want cereal or toast for breakfast?" or "The red shirt or the blue one?" to give your child a little control and stop meltdowns. Reward Good Behavior While you might be focused on stopping negative behavior, it may be just as important to praise and reward positive behavior as well. This teaches your little one that using manners and polite words gives her a better reaction than throwing a tantrum. When your child says please or gets through the grocery store without crying, be specific with your praise -- "I loved the way you asked me so nicely! It makes me happy when you use happy words." In the middle of the store, your daughter throws herself to the floor and begins to whine and beg for a toy. This experience is a common one for parents of toddlers and children. Temper tantrums can cause embarrassment and discomfort for parents. Understanding the root cause of your child's tantrums may help you ward off tantrums in the future. Sponsored Link Google Chromecast for £30 Stream the web to your TV wirelessly. Find out more. google.com / chromecast Causes of Tantrums Underlying emotions and states may make temper tantrums more likely, such as when your child is sick, hungry or tired, according to Dr. William Sears. Children may use temper tantrums to get their way if it has been effective in the past, according to the Kids Health website. During the early years, children are becoming independent and want control over themselves and their environments. When they cannot have it, temper tantrums often come into play. Parents may find that in some cases it is better to avoid triggers, like going to a store, if a child needs rest or dinner first, according to Dr. Sears. Distraction Modifications Keeping distractions with you, like puzzles for children or books for toddlers, may prove effective when it comes to preventing or ending temper tantrums, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. If your child is begging for a toy or beginning to whine, offer a distraction. In other cases, you may need to change environments or go to a private place where your child can calm down. In a public place, that may mean finding a bathroom or going to the car to cool down. Attention and Control Modification Children may also use temper tantrums as a means to get attention, according to the Kids Health site. Try to spend more time with your child and reward positive behavior, like complimenting a toddler who is sitting quietly at a restaurant. Your child may also be seeking control, so providing options may be effective. When going out to eat, you may want to give your child the choice of multiple meals or drinks. Showing that your child has some control over her environment may make her less prone to having temper tantrums. Other Behavior Modifications In some cases, you may find that you are not bothered that your child wants a toy or candy. Knowing when to give in and when to hold your ground is an important part of parenting, and it can ward off some temper tantrums, according to the Kids Health website. Parents may also find that ignoring the tantrum until a child calms down or providing love and affection during a tantrum may cause a child to cool off, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. No matter the course of action you choose, hitting or scolding your child may make a tantrum worse. All children (and many adults) have temper tantrums on occasion. These outbursts are particularly frequent during the toddler and preschool years and usually begin to decline in frequency and intensity by age 5. However, for some children, these tantrums persist, causing continued difficulties throughout childhood. Below are answers to some of the most commonly asked questions from parents of these children. "When should I be concerned about my child's tantrums?" Temper tantrums are considered to be part of normal development for young children, particularly those under the age of 5. However, some children continue to exhibit severe tantrums past this age. These tantrums may be: Explosive Difficult to control or soothe Prolonged, lasting more than 15-20 minutes Frequent, occurring several times per week When tantrum behaviors interfere with your child's typical functioning and/or the functioning of the family, there may be cause for concern. For example, children who exhibit severe temper outbursts often have difficulty making and keeping friends, succeeding in school, and getting along with family members. Frequent, out-of-control tantrums can cause a significant amount of family distress, and can result in the family changing their lifestyle in an effort to prevent or reduce the tantrums. Such modifications may include: Changing daily home routines, such as mealtimes, transitions, waking up, getting ready for school, or bedtime Avoiding public venues, such as restaurants or supermarkets Declining to participate in social activities, such as birthday parties or play dates "Why does my child have severe tantrums?" We don't really know why. We do know that children with severe temper outbursts often have difficulty with attention, impulsivity, anxiety, and mood regulation. At the NYU Child Study Center, we are conducting research to examine possible neurological bases for severe tantrums. "How can I better manage my child's tantrums?" Fortunately, there are things that you as a parent or caregiver can do to help reduce your child's tantrums in the family environment. What parents can do 1. Don't "give in" to your child's tantrums Many, though not all children exhibit tantrums when they don't get their way or when they are required to do something they don't enjoy. When children have tantrums, the intensity of their emotions and behaviors makes it difficult for parents to handle, and it's tempting to give in to the child's demands in order to stop the tantrum. When this happens, the child is reinforced for her tantrum — it was effective at getting the desired result. Thus, "giving in" to your child's tantrum behaviors can make the outbursts likely to continue; the child quickly learns that a tantrum can help her get what she wants. When you "give in" to a tantrum, you may have stopped your child's behavior in that moment (which may be a temporary relief). But you have set the stage for your child to continue having tantrum behaviors in the future. With this in mind, we suggest the following: Do not let your child get what he wants out of the tantrum. Although this may be a difficult feat to carry out, consistently saying "No" despite the tantrum will likely cause the outbursts to get better over time. You must follow through on saying "No" consistently. If your child even occasionally gets his way as a result of a tantrum, he is likely to keep having them. Planned ignoring: Leaving the room where the tantrum is occurring can help stop the behavior.