Urge to Merge: Israelis Insist on Big Weddings, Coronavirus Be Damned

עמוד 1 Urge to merge: Israelis insist on big weddings, coronavirus be damned Many are willing to risk breaking the law to host hundreds of guests while others have opted to downsize. But almost no one is willing to stay unwed found out there was a prob life, which is an explicit as married just like Israelis shows you that the wedding Shuki Sadeh lem because the authorities commandment ” who are listed as “having no isn’t just for the bride and Haim Hemmendinger, enforce the rules in a place From the standpoint religion.” MK Evgeny Sova groom, it’s for the commu manager of the Pavilion that has a business license, of halakha, you need a (Yisrael Beiteinu) proposed nity.” Mehadrin wedding hall so they had to hold the wed groom, a bride, a rabbi to another emergency regu In recent years, some in Jerusalem, which hosts ding in a pirate location. preside over the ceremony lation, by which the young people have tried to buck ultra-Orthodox weddings, Within three hours, they and 10 men for a minyan. couples could marry in for the big-wedding trend in fa recalls a recent wedding at had to move 100 people and “Politics has entered into it eign embassies or consul vor of “socially conscious” tended by 50 people. It was the chuppah and the tables here. Weddings have been ates in Israel for the coming weddings. The idea is to get outdoors and people were and all the rest. It’s possible brought into other issues, year. back to the spirit of what spaced apart, but the num in the WhatsApp age, but like street protests and weddings were like in the ber was well over the maxi it’s no easy feat,” he says. prayer services, regarding Solutions needed old days - modest events mum allowed under the Hemmendinger has no what is or isn’t allowed dur in which neighbors and coronavirus restrictions. compunctions about skirt ing the coronavirus. It also “No one is trying to friends would help prepare “A policeman showed up ing the rules. “If you tell a fits into the Haredi narra make these couples Jew the food and set up every and said, ‘If in two minutes bride and groom to hold an tive that opposes the coro ish according to halakha,” thing. there are still more than event with just 20 guests, navirus regulations, which says Sova. “But a tempo Four years ago Dina 20 people here, I’m taking you ruined it for them. You at least parts of the commu rary solution must be found Abramson, a former jour the bride and groom home can’t put off the party ei nity view as deliberately in for them during the crisis. nalist and owner of an ad in handcuffs,”’ he recalled. ther. ... Rejoicing with the tended to harm the Haredi This is something the state vertising firm, staged such “You can imagine what bride and groom is a sacred public.” is obligated to do for its citi a wedding for herself with it was like after that - the value - it’s a mitzvah to re Of all the kinds of gather zens.” For now, however, hopes that the trend would ceremony took place but the joice with them and make ings banned in Israel since neither of these proposals catch on. She paid 1,000 event was ruined.” them happy. It’s not the the coronavirus outbreak appears likely to be ap shekels ($295) to hold the What was unusual about same thing for secular peo began in March, experts proved. wedding in a synagogue. that incident isn’t that the ple. There you have couples agree that weddings are Even those not permitted The food - falafel and sushi wedding party exceeded who live together for a long among the riskiest. Aside to marry under halakha, - was bought beforehand, the limit but that the police time before the wedding. from a few weeks in May and the secular public in and friends helped set up came to enforce the rules. The wedding is basically a and June, when weddings general, haven’t been will and served as waiters. Hemmendinger estimates party - so there’s no prob of up to 250 people were ing to give up the wedding “I tried to break a bub that on any given evening lem postponing it for six permitted (a limit that was ceremony itself. For exam ble that was very hard there are 200-300 unauthor months.” also widely violated), since ple, Havaya - Secular Jew to break,” she says. “Not ized weddings in religious Yerach Toker, a Haredi Israel’s first lockdown last ish Lifecycle Ceremonies enough people were ready and ultra-Orthodox circles. consultant, says that in the spring there have been re in Israel, an organization to say, ‘Hey, we don’t really “The trick is to find plac Haredi world restricting a strictions of one form or belonging to the Be Free want to write huge checks.’ es that the police don’t know wedding to 100-150 people another on weddings. At Israel (Israel Hofsheet) The goal was for people to about. Event planners are would mean that only the present, no more than 20 movement, has a registry see that a social wedding in now hiring guards who are bride and groom’s close people are permitted to of hundreds of people who which people prepare the posted at a distant perime relations could attend. “No gather outdoors, including preside over alternative food themselves is a totally ter from the chuppah (wed one wants to get married at weddings. ceremonies. respectable way to get mar ding canopy). If they spot “A wedding is an im ried. At my wedding, people a police car, they pass the portant event for secular were happy because they word and guests disperse. people, too,” says Dr. Ana felt free. Whoever wanted When the patrol car drives Prashitzky, a sociologist at to bring cookies, brought off, they go back to what Western Galilee College, cookies. Whoever wanted they were doing,” he says. who wrote her dissertation to give 1,000 shekels, gave If anyone didn’t know on the differences between 1,000 shekels.” it long ago, the coronavi Orthodox and alternatives. The pandemic has rus has come to show how “A decade ago, there were caused more Israelis to important the idea of wed hardly any alternative cer see that small is beautiful ding, marriage and family emonies and now it’s an ac when it comes to weddings, remains in Israel. For many cepted norm. Abramson says. “Everyone Israelis a highly contagious “You can ask why bother is finally coming around to virus takes a back seat to a to get married at all if you this approach because of major, perhaps the major, don’t believe in the rabbin the coronavirus, but at the event of people’s lifetimes. ate, and it has to do with a time it was considered quite The phenomenon isn’t lim lot of factors. There’s the in subversive and brave to say ited to religious Israelis, but An outdoor wedding. Avishag Shaar-Yashiuv fluence of Jewish tradition, it. I think the coronavirus to the secular majority and and of Hollywood movies. will change the Israeli wed even to Israel’s LGBT com with just a rabbi and two As much as wedding re The white dress, walking ding culture.” munity. witnesses, as if we were strictions anger many Is down the aisle at sunset - Meanwhile, over the last “Israeli society sancti in the Warsaw Ghetto,” raelis, even before the onset most people still want these few months, thousands of fies family and tribe. Even he says. “Just like large of the coronavirus, mar things. Israel is also a coun young couples have been LGBT couples try not to protests are permitted us riage was on the decline. try where family is a very racking their brains trying breach the holy value of ing the capsule system, it According to the Central strong value,” she says. to figure out how to hold the having a wedding. They should be possible to find Bureau of Statistics, in 1985 One sign of the grow big wedding they always want to be like straight cou a similar solution for wed there were 6.9 weddings per ing Israeli obsession with dreamed of. Many had al ples,” says Linda Sasson, dings.” 1,000 people; in 2018, it was weddings over the last ready made down payments who officiates at alterna For the religious public, just 5.6 per 1,000. Unmar few decades has been the on venues and then had to tive weddings. “I hear from there aren’t so many days in ried Jewish couples ages 18- ever-increasing size of the cancel, forcing them to go parents who say they don’t the year when one can get 34 who are living together events. Nowadays, an event through all sorts of legal care if their son or daughter married. The period from tripled between 2000 and with 400-500 people, which wrangling with venue own comes out as gay, as long as the end of the High Holy 2018 to 6%, used to be considered quite ers who refused to refund they marry and have chil Days until Passover is the When they do get mar big, has become standard. the advance. dren. Israelis are obsessed main wedding season, in ried, more and more nonre Young couples who want Others are just grappling with having children and addition to certain stretches ligious Israelis eschew do smaller weddings find that with long periods of uncer strengthening the tribe and of spring and summer.

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