Elections: Manifestos Inside Revision >>43 PUZZLES

“Keep the Cat Free”

08/03/13 Issue 1543 felixonline.co.uk Varsity Pullout All you’ll need for the big day Protest over Garden closure Inside...>> Students show support for Garden Hall as future looks unclear COMMENT Tim Arbabzadah Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief

Students are campaigning against the closure of Garden Hall, following reports that it may be turned into oﬃ ce space. h e students who started the campaign to save the hall were living in it at the time as either hall seniors or freshers. h ey have created an on- Seeking out some line petition, which, following its in- ception earlier this week, has 725 sup- inspiration 40 porters (at time of going to print). >> h e petition is directed at Sir Keith O’Nions, President & Rector of Impe- rial College London. It talks of the students’ “great concern” over the possi- FOOD bility of the hall being shut. It goes on to say, “Student priorities regarding accommodation are clear: (1) proximity and (2) aﬀ ordability. According to Imperial’s accommodation strategy (Council, 10/2/12), we seek to provide students with “choice in rents”, “proximity to campus”, “bedspace type”, “facilities” and seek “ownership >> 8

Snacking during Elections: manifestos inside revision >>43 PUZZLES

Manifestos: Page 15

Report: One massive Page 6 nonogram >>61 2 FRIDAY 08 MARCH EDITOR’S PICKS 12 15 29 Clubs & Socs >> Elections >> VARSITY >> Fairtrade fortnight Manifestos! Massive pullout A whole two weeks of tiring That’s right, it is election time! It’s that time of year again. events for Fairtrade. Tea, choc- There will be about 5 million Elections. There’s also Varsity olate, debating, and ice cream packs of sweets sold, and you though. This has all the infor- eating contests, all happened have the chance to sample them mation that you could possibly over the last two weeks. all. Good luck everyone running. want. And probably more...

CLASSIFIEDS Poor Gardening Volunteers wanted for experiments investigating balance and perception If you are interested in taking part you must be aged 18-65 and not suffering from vertigo, dizziness, bal- Tim Arbabzadah ance or hearing problems. The research is at Charing Editor-in-Chief Cross

Hospital, takes about one hour. You will be reim- nother week another is- Imperial. If this is because of the ac- hope that it is all done fairly with no bursed for your time. sue. This week has been commodation offers that are available, funny business. It was a rather bold absolutely shattering. In then that is such a shame. Garden Hall move to have a Results Party planned fact, I am so tired that (and Weeks of course, as well as the and advertised. The complaints sys- The research project has been approved by London- Awhen I came into work halls in Evelyn Gardens) is an amazing tem this year is a bit odd and defi - Fulham Ethics Committee today (Thursday) I put on my scarf, asset. It is cheap and just by campus. nitely made to discourage people went to the door, then turned around This means people that can’t afford from complaining. To be fair the idea and looked for my scarf as I thought I expensive halls still get to live near is to stop people constantly getting To fi nd out more, please contact Dr Ed Roberts: had lost it. It’s just been one of those campus. Having halls such as Garden in touch with trivial matters. How- weeks. Work, sleep, eat: barely time means that you don’t price out stu- ever, it’s a barrier to those who are [email protected] for relaxing at all. This is actually being dents from being in a great location. currently Union outsiders: they have written on a bus into College, just to Would that space really be used well to wade through the dull informa- prove that point. if it were to be offi ce space? Wouldn’t tion to fi nd a code for their complaint. it cost money to redevelop the space Why not just let them email in and Garden Hall into offi ce space? Surely just reno- just reply to them all? You would get LOLCAT OF TEH WEEK: Finding these is a perk of the job vating the halls is a much better use a lot, but loads of people get a lot of Think it’s clear what the viewpoint of the money that it would cost? The emails, you just suck it up. It’s need- is from me. Just keep Garden open. campaign to save Garden Hall should less bureaucracy. I guess you can say Renovate it and keep it here. It’s very be fully supported by all students. For you don’t want someone in a position close and very cheap. Everything else those from College, all you need to if they aren’t willing to do that, but it is going towards the expensive side do is to look at the comments from just seems like a bad system. Plus it’s in terms of accommodation and, let’s students on page 9. Just to show you lame as hell coming from a students’ face it, London is hardly going to be- how passionate students that have union to have alphanumeric coding come a cheaper city to live in. It’s once lived/known someone who has lived systems rather than a less formal more incredible to see Imperial stu- in the halls are about Garden Hall be- emailing system. dents stand up and denounce a terrible ing saved: many of them have put their Anyway, over the next seven days idea. I was very pleased to see the en- names to their comments. Also, these you’ll be accosted time after time by thusiasm and boldness of the students are not all of the comments that could people wanting you to vote for them. organising the protests and getting have been put in. Many were excluded Try to resist the temptation to just their arts skills out with some pro level due to space restrictions. impulse vote for whoever you think bubble letter making. looks nicest or gives you the best One thing that we absolutely don’t Elections sweets etc. Think really hard about want is for people from less well-off it and pick whichever candidate you backgrounds being put off coming to Elections are well and truly here. Let’s think is the best for the role.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. THIS BROUGHT Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2013. WEEK WASTO YOUBY Editor-in-Chief Tim Arbabzadah Deputy Editor Saskia Verhagen Assistant Editor Matt Colvin News Editors Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud Features Editors Caroline Wood, Stephen Smith Business Editor Deepka Rana Science Editors Philip Kent, Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett Politics Editors Padraic Calpin, Marie-Laure Hicks Food Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Sophia Goldberg, Yiango Mavrocostanti Comment Editors George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson Fashion Editors Saskia Verhagen, Alice Yang Arts Editors Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas Books Editor Maciej Matuszewski Music Editors Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter Television Editor Lucia Podhorska Film Editors Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles Games Editor Ross Webster Technology Editors Jason Parmar, Maximilian Eggl Coffee Break Battyman Matt Colvin Travel Editor Veronika McQuade Sports Editors Oli Benton, Sorcha Cotter, Margot Pikovsky Online Editors Philip Kent, Jonathan Kim Puzzles Commanders Louisa Byrne, Sotirios Karamitsos Copy Chief Annina Sartor Copy Editors Abby Goldblatt, Claire Wilkinson Web Uploaders Thomas Lim Simon Worthington, Joseph Letts, Matt Colvin Illustrators Hamish Muir, Outi Supponen, Sam Lav FRIDAY 08 MARCH 3

News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected] Queen’s ﬁ rst concert honoured in Metric! Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief

Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen were at Imperial in Metric on Tuesday 5 March to unveil a plaque commemorating their fi rst public performance, which took place in the Un- ion Concert Hall. h e event was greeted with much enthusiasm by all present, with Paul Beaumont, Union President, giving in a speech in the traditional rock and roll attire of a suit. Beaumont said: “We’re very proud of Imperial Col- lege Union’s musical past, including the small role we played in the Queen story. It’s a privilege to host a plaque commemorating the band’s fi rst Lon- don performance here and to welcome them back here today.” h e event was a music Heritage Award from PRS for Music. Brian May said: “h e fi rst proper gig we did was at Imperial College in the Union Hall. I remember it very distinctly because I’d seen all sorts of people playing in there. I’d been part of the Entertain- ment Committee and we booked a group every Saturday night in those days. People like Spooky Tooth and Steamhammer! We booked Jimi Hen- drix too. So for us it was a dream come true to actually play on that stage. It used to get packed in there so it was a major stepping stone for us.” Roger Taylor continued: “Imperial College was eff ectively our positional and spir- itual base and means a lot to Queen. Sponsored Editorial Many good memories, without it... who knows?”. Guy Fletcher 0BE, PRS Chair, said: “Loved by millions the world over, More student cuts they were often thought of as the People’s Band. Queen’s songwriting originality combined musicianship Discount haircuts for Imperial with real life emotion sustaining generations of dedicated fans. It will be an enormous honour to present Brian students at Fresh Hairdressers and Roger with the PRS for Music Heritage award at such a fi ne institu- near South Kensington tion. A plucky George Butcher from IC Men’s cuts £22 (normally £35) discount and bring your student ID Radio asked Brian and Roger if they Women’s cut and rough dry £28 we look forward to seeing you. would consider doing a live session for Women’s cut and salon fi nish We use only the best products, them. blow-dry £38 (normally £55) Wella, Moroccan Oil, L’Oreal, and After that everyone got pictures and KMS and offer free coffee and autographs. Including one lucky stu- FRESH Hairdressers has been herbal teas. dent, who got Brian to sign his guitar offering high quality, fashionable To book an appointment call 0207 for him. haircuts for over 20 years. All of 823 8968. h e actual plaque itself will be our haircuts are by highly experi- Tuesday to Saturdays 9.30 to 5.30 placed outside on Prince Consort enced stylists, NOT trainees. We are only 70 metres from South Road, after a brief stint in Metric. Kensington tube station. TO GET A GREAT HAIRCUT www.freshhairdressers.co.uk 1) You don’t have to spend a lot of money at expensive trendy salons 2) You don’t have to spend hours as a Guinea pig at a training school 3) You don’t have to be butchered at some cheap Barbers 4) You don’t have to wait till you go back home

Come to FRESH, ask for a student 4 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

News Editors: Aemun NEWS Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected]

Imperial trailing in equal The Virtuous Meritocracy TTherehere nneneedse to be access to education a rere-setting sett and Sam Lav subsequent balance of the student demographicc of top Eoghan J Totten academic institutionssstitutionstitutions

A recent article in The Economist as cheap, frequently breaking the analysed social mobility (or rather £20,000 barrier. The location of a lack thereof) in the USA, focus- the College within one of the most ing on education. Extensive dis- financially draining cities on the course took place surrounding a planet inevitably plays its part. In modern phenomenon known as addition to this the” institution is ‘virtuous meritocracy’. In basic widely renowned but principally terms, it has its origins in previ- within academic circles. ous American governmental pol- From the HESA statistics these icy. Concessions were repeatedly factors have a strong influence awarded to school pupils from on the student demographic. It humble backgrounds considered cannot be denied that Imperial ‘bright’. Many were actively con- College London best endeavours sumed into the Ivy League and to provide a first-class educa- State University ranks via schol- tion to all students, championing Padraic Calpin Reporter ing from State Schools, as well as the However, for a more valid assessment arships and funding. In turn this many schemes such as the College percentage coming from poorer socio- of Imperial’s performance, we should select core of students secured Hardship Fund. On a student- economic backgrounds (National Sta- consider the “Benchmark” perfor- the most coveted (and highest by-student basis this assistance At the core of student opposition to the tistics Socio-Economic Classes 4-7). mance put together by the HESA. h e earning) business and academic is invaluable. It might therefore College’s decision to close Garden Hall h e latter measure is an established benchmark scores attempt to control positions upon graduation. It will be concluded that the trend ob- and open a new residence in North Ac- national measure of socio-economic for other factors, to give a measure of be no surprise to learn that they served in the wider student popu- ton is a concern for Imperial’s less well background based on current employ- how well a given institution ‘should’ be were intent on retaining what lation reflects a monopoly headed off students. Campus Services seems to ment that was developed for the 2001 performing based on factors such as they had achieved ‘on merit’; their by those in a position to afford the have demonstrated an utter disregard census. location, subject, gender and ethnic- endeavours were the embodiment best in a growing market of global for the possibility that poorer students Imperial is consistently signifi cantly ity of applicants. Signifi cant variation of the American dream. However, education. may be forced out off campus, sepa- (p<0.05) below the national average away from these benchmarks can be like many aspects of a changing So what might be done about rated from their classmates and their in both measures, with an average of used to infer additional factors aff ect- modern America, the dream has this? There needs to be a re-set- union. h is raises diffi cult questions; 62.9% of students coming from state ing an institution’s admissions, or may been tainted. Some argue that this ting and subsequent balance of what proportion of Imperial’s students schools, and 17.25% from NS-SEC suggest an infl uence that has not been group of intelligent nouveau riche the student demographic of top come from less privileged economic classes 4-7 over the period 06/07-10/11. accounted for. monopolise both jobs and educa- academic institutions across the backgrounds, and how do we compare h is is compared to the UK averages of When it comes to percentage of tion, passing their emancipation planet, with sufficient contribu- to other institutions? Is Imperial ‘needs 88.4% and 30% respectively; almost 4 in students from state schools, Impe- (and their money) onto their chil- tion from the ‘low participation blind’, or a science, medicine and engi- 10 Imperial students come from private rial performed signifi cantly below its dren, with the squeezed middle neighbourhoods’. A fresh wave neering fi nishing school? education, and the vast majority come benchmark percentage every year in and working class losing out. of outreach media should be con- To answer this, Felix has turned to the from more privileged economic back- the period 06/07-10/11. h e picture Addressing the 2010/2011 sta- sidered in order to scout underly- Performance Indicator data sets made grounds. for socio-economic class was more var- tistics recently published by the ing, hidden talent within school available by the Higher Education Sta- h at said, it is interesting to compare ied, with Imperial alternately punch- Higher Education Statistics Agen- pupils from working class back- tistics Authority (HESA), which aim to our performance with that of near- ing above and below expected values, cy this may also be a problem grounds. Judging from statistics evaluate the success of UK HE institu- rivals and fellow Russell Group institu- but never with a statistically signifi cant much closer to home. Consider published on Wednesday by the tions in widening student provision, tions, Oxford, Cambridge and UCL. In variation. the ‘big academic three’ UK Uni- End Child Poverty campaign this teaching outcomes and other factors. both measures, we perform compara- h at Imperial doesn’t vary signifi - versities (The University of Ox- may be particularly applicable Unfortunately, currently available data- bly to UCL, and consistently better than cantly from the expected proportion ford, The University of Cambridge to the United Kingdom, where sets only run to the 2010/11 admissions Oxbridge in terms of equal access to from lower NS-SEC classes, despite & Imperial College London). Un- areas such as West Belfast (with period, meaning the impact of the fees learning. Considering the statistics also the higher than average number of dergraduate participants from 43% of children raised in pov- increase cannot be considered, but the aim to evaluate to what extent institu- students from private schools, is per- disenfranchised ‘low participa- erty) and factions of Manchester data speaks volumes. tions can widen participation in Higher haps testament to the College’s support tion neighbourhoods’ comprised are in desperate need of revival. h e tables give the proportion of Education, the lack of any improvement provision. For example, Study Support 2.5%, 3.1% and 4.6 % respectively. This might reduce the advantage young, fi rst-time degree students com- across the years is also concerning. Bursaries are available to all UK stu- These figures are significantly low that pupils from financially sound dents receiving a maintenance grant. with respect to the overall UK backgrounds invariably possess, h e below expected percentage of state University average of 10.5%. be it in the form of private tuition school students, however, lacks a clear The statistics relevant to Impe- or exposure to academic rigour. In explanation. rial College London can be ration- this way a turn of fortune might Taken alongside the nationally low alised. First and foremost the high be granted to a new generation of averages of Imperial and other Russell proportion of overseas students disenfranchised but academically Group institutions, the data seems to must be taken into account; In- gifted pupils, allowing them their reveal structural problems in the Brit- ternational fees cannot be classed fair share in the cake of merit. ish education system. Imperial’s high grade requirements mean that students from better off backgrounds can end up courage more students to apply to uni- statistics highlight, the College can still over represented. versity and to Imperial. But outreach improve substantially. Positive discrim- h e new Pro-Rector (Education) has is just one aspect that can infl uence ination policies, such as fl exible grade stated that the College has expanded access to Higher Education from less boundaries, do not necessitate sacrifi c- its outreach programme, aiming to en- privileged backgrounds, and, as these ing academic standards. Venture Catalyst Challenge ‘13

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Imperial has erupted with flyers, posters, sweets, and lecture speeches, Tim Arbabzadah reports on the latest goings on as election campaigning kicks off

n 3 March at dates. he has only submitted a mani- reason as the amount of work (Clubs & Societies) had a man- 23:59 nomina- h e Union has revamped the festo for Union President, he has to do. He added: “I’m ifesto that was over 400 words tions for this look of the promotional mate- RCSU President and Chemsoc just dispondant with the whole long. h is problem was fi xed Oyear’s Big Elec- rial and has the live stats web- President, and he has not sub- thing, and don’t want things the next day. tions closed. site up once more. h is will be mitted a photo for any role. to turn as nasty as things did As well as that, there have h ese are the elections for a showing voting stats from the One candidate for Union with Abdul last year.” When been the usual people posting large number of positions at moment voting opens. President, Christopher Kaye, asked about the posters he in pre-existing groups. Plus Imperial College Union. All of h is year has seen some had a complaint lodged against said: “It might’ve been better several candidates wanted to the Sabbatical positions will be changes in the rules. To stand him because of the poster he had I been given the benefi t edit manifestos as well as one elected by the student body of for a position, regardless of used. h e complaint was re- of the doubt and allowed to candidate wanting to have Imperial, with the Union hop- the position, there was only garding the language used. h e keep my poster as it was, and their manifesto put up, as they ing to beat last year’s record one seconder required. h e poster said his main manifesto let democracy run its course.” missed the deadline. It was turnout. All of the manifes- Big Elections website how- points of selling cigarettes at h ere were allegations that ruled that everyone had the tos for the candidates can be ever made some believe that the Union and putting a photo Kaye’s posters were being torn same restrictions and that no- found from page 13 onwards, 20 seconders were needed of the Queen behind the bar in down, with a report from one body can edit or put up mani- or online at imperialcollege- for the Sabbatical positions. smaller writing with “Fags at of Felix’s Comment Editors festos now. union.org/elections. Impe- h is was due to the code that the Union”, “Queen at the Un- that he saw someone rip down h e position of Deputy Pres- rial students must then submit showed the capping not being ion”, and “Not a prat” in larger a poster, and that two posters ident (Education) has only two votes ranking their preference changed. Another change was writing (see below). h e mes- disappeared within minutes candidates facing off against for each candidate with a sin- that the Returning Offi cer for sage from the Returning Offi c- of him walking past the same RON, with one not submit- gle transferrable vote system. the Elections is an external, ers, which was a formal warn- spot. Kaye later satirized the ting a photo or manifesto. h ere is also the option to vote which is standard practice at ing, stated: “Your poster… whole campaigning process h e same goes for Deputy for RON, which stands for Re- most other unions. Although contains off ensive language with a Facebook group “Chris President (Finance & Open Nominations. If RON the Deputy Returning Offi cers (“fags”, “prat” and, in this con- Kaye for fi nishing his compu- Services), with one wins the election is re-run. are staff members at the Un- text, “queen”). h e candidates’ tational labs”. candidate with- Candidates had to submit ion. h ey have said that they pack and publicity policy For President, there are drawing. their 250 word manifestos on- are interested in the demo- clearly state that “all campaign now three candidates left With eve- line. By the time of publication, cratic legitimacy of the Union. material must not contain of- with manifestos and pictures, rything set in they will have been campaign- Candidates no longer have to fensive language, contain im- and one with a manifesto place, the elec- ing for nearly a whole working submit their campaign materi- plied off ensive language, or be only. h e other candidates tions are now week, with voting opening on al to the Returning Offi cer for libelous in nature”.” It then said: did not submit a picture or well and truly Friday 8 March at 12:00. On approval. Instead it is a system “Please remove any physical manifesto. underway. h ursday 7 March, the can- whereby people put out there and online publicity with this h ere was also a glitch in didates took part in hustings. material and can then get into language immediately.” Chris the system of the online h is was in the form of a live trouble for it at a later time. Kaye rejected the complaint manifestos. One STOIC broadcast called “Meet h e complaints procedure saying: “h e language used is candidate for the Candidates”, which is now has also been changed from not off ensive in context.” He Deputy available on the Union’s Elec- last year. h is year, only com- said that “fag” was referencing Presi- tions website. h is did have plaints submitted via an on- cigarettes and that “Queen” dent some technical diffi culties at line form can be upheld. h is referenced the Queen, saying the start, and had some is- form requires complainants to “I am Chair of History Soci- sues with lagging all the way fi nd the relevant code for their ety and, in my opinion, the throughout. Voting will close complaint. involvement of the Monarchy on 15 March at 12:00, with In the Initial Candidates in the College’s history is very the results being announced Meeting, the Returning Of- important. If I cannot refer in Metric that night for the fi cer, reminded everyone of to the ‘Queen’ then my ability Results Party. Allowing can- the importance of good cam- to express myself is severely didates to celebrate or drown paigning. He said: “h is is an restricted”. He said that the sorrows. h is means that next election not a selection”. word prat is “informal and not week will be when campaign- As with every year, this year off ensive according to [the] ing is, in all likelihood, taken the election has already had Cambridge Dictionary” He up a notch. h roughout the something in the way of con- says he modifi ed his posters, election process, the Union troversy. h ere is one candi- and that the Returning Offi c- will be blogging the election. date, Forhad Matin, who is ers never replied to him. He h is involves updating with standing for every single posi- has since withdrawn from the photos and tweets of candi- tion available to him, although election, giving his primary

To vote, all you need to do is this: visit imperialcollegeunion.org/elections. Hit Diddy hasn’t been involved in the Elections... yet. But the Union are that little vote button, and then, vote hoping students take his “Vote or die” campaign to heart Sabbatical Election Factoids

There are 19 candidates for positions. With 14 different individuals going for the roles. Of those 14 individuals, there are:

46% are female 54% are male

Of the 19 manifestos... A voter ponders his difficult decision Haven’t been 9 submitted

Christopher Kaye’s’s poster, which caused ofoffensefense anandd a complaint to be lodged,d d andd bbellow iis theth FFacebookb k group 8 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

News Editors: Aemun NEWS Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected] Students oppose closure Price, proximity, and poorer students being priced out of nearby halls highlighted

continued from the front page Garden Hall is in a listed building >> and is the most oversubscribed hall; Management Board Widespread dismay Garden houses of freehold”. Evidently Garden Hall it houses 84 students in a mixture meets spectacularly all the above.” of single, double and triple rooms. to meet and discuss at possible closure of cheap rooms close to h e petition states that Garden Hall h ese rooms form some of the cheap- Union’s 5 requests Garden campus is popular amongst students and is est accommodation options on off er always in demand as there are never at Imperial. It recently emerged that empty rooms and it is always oversub- there is the possibility of it closing to scribed. Imperial College Union have become offi ce space or anything else confi rmed that it is the most oversub- needed. h e reason given is that space scribed hall at Imperial. is tight on the South Kensington cam- h e students have made signs and pus. It was claimed that the hall is in posters and stuck them up in their need of refurbishing and is not in a rooms and around campus. h ere good state. h e students living there, are big “SOS” letters in the windows however, seem to be happy enough of the rooms and kitchens, and there with it. h e petition closes with the are many “Save Garden Hall” posters following plea: “Please return student visible from the outside. h e atmos- priorities to the centre, keep Garden phere at the hall while taking a photo Hall and invest in this important of students outside was one of worry, space. h is will mean a great deal to uncertainty, anger, and general con- students and staff .” fusion over any potential closure of It is known that College are going Garden. Students were motivated and to be discussing Garden Hall and its determined to make their views heard future on 20 March. h is meeting will by College. be one of the Management Board’s Speaking outside Garden, Union regular meetings. h e Management President, Paul Beaumont, said: “It’s Board is one of the most senior boards wonderful to see so many students in College and is chaired by the Presi- being vocal, especially because they dent & Rector. h e Union have re- won’t actually be here when Garden quested to be allowed to attend this closes, so it’s great to see so many to allow their point of view to be put Students get ready to hold up signs. people looking out for the welfare of forward. h e Union have sent a letter The windows show the Save Garden future students”. Temi Ladega, CGCU to the President & Rector. At time of posters President, said that he was “extremely going to print, they have not received disappointed with what College are a reply. doing”. He went on to say: “I think it’s h e protest comes in the wake of the time that College start caring about news about new halls being planned students and not just their fi nances”. in Acton, which was denounced by Many of the Garden residents ex- many students due to distance and pressed their dismay as well. Tim cost. h ere is also the possibility that Lam, a 1st year, said, “the possible clo- the halls in Evelyn Gardens could be sure of Garden Hall makes me feel like closed as the lease has just over 30 Imperial doesn’t care about students years left on it, and the negotiations at all and makes me think that maybe with the Wellcome Trust, who own the people in charge are just money the lease, appear to reportedly indi- driven”. Rebecca Rove, a 3rd year hall cate that they are not willing to extend senior, said that the location and price the lease. h e College, at the minute, were key. She said that it allowed her seem unwilling to renovate the halls to participate more in university life unless there is an extension. h e lease than she could if she were further will be worth less and less as it gets away. She went on to say, “If cheap closer to the end. rooms were not available in my fi rst year I would not have chosen to come >> Editorial page 2 to Imperial”. >> Comment: page 41

Students get their arts and crafts on FRIDAY 08 MARCH 9

News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected]

Comments from students

Roxanne Middleton, 4th year fair consultation and accurate re- College student, Garden Hall Resi- I believe we have to support our expectations of a student hall and Physics student at Imperial Col- flection of the opinions of its student 2010/2011 students who are coming from a should not be closed. lege, Garden Hall Resident dents. These decisions may have I would not have come to imperial, less well-off backgrounds. Paying 2009/2010. made some economic sense but if it weren’t for the double and tri- back a heafty student loan is not a Lish Zhang Garden hall is one of the few things none of these benefits have found ple rooms (which are affordable) healthly start to a young person’s It’s brilliantly convenient and a re- that makes Imperial students their way back to the students. of halls like garden. Current plans career. ally nice place, give others the op- proud of their university, proud to With each decision they’ve taken are not a replacement of garden. portunity to be so lucky! be an Imperial student and makes more away than they’ve provided They are a catering for a richer Eleanor Jay them feel that the university cares and anything they have provided market alienating the poor. Yet As a Sub-Warden of Garden hall Florence Chow about them. Without these vital has gone unnoticed or unwanted! again, this just serves to reinforce for 4 years (2008-12), I can affirm I was very fortunate to have lived feelings, it becomes more and the importance of money to the that the hall, although needing in G&W in my first year. The size more desolate to start university at Anonymous college over people. some rennovations, is a vibrant of the rooms, historic architec- Imperial at age eighteen. If they continue to damage what and well loved place. Unlike many ture, proximity to the college and it means to be an Imperial student Abigail Laverack of its contemporaries, Garden hall price made it an ideal hall of resi- Alexandra Turner, BSc in Math- and move further from student- I am a resident at Fisher Hall and I offers rooms which are affordable dence to live in. It is saddening to ematics at Imperial College Lon- centric business models they may resent the proposals to price peo- to those who simply cannot afford hear that G&W will potentially don, MSc in Medical Statistics at find themselves with the shiniest, ple like me out of Imperial College to pay the extortionate rents of be closed. I strongly believe that the London School of Hygiene facility-rich, efficient, soul-drain- London. other residences; these frequently G&W should remain open, allow- and Tropical Medicine, Garden ing machine in all of London; short exceed the student loan. ing more students to experience its Hall Resident 2009/2010 term gains will be far outweighed Jane Courtnell, 1st year Biology Clearly a range of housing <£100 charms. Garden hall gives such a unique by the rapid decline in the per- student at Imperial College, Gar- pw is in need at Imperial and with- university experience to those centages of this country’s (and den Hall Resident 2012/2013 out Garden this will be lost and a Philippe Rival lucky enough to live there. The others) sharpest minds that wish Garden Halls is cheap accommo- generation of bright, aspiring stu- Garden Hall is an important part building is beautiful and has such to attend the university. Imperial’s dation that is close to campus, and dents will be unable to learn and of Imperial College London history character, on top of which the set- reputation will inevitably similarly therefore its closure will have a develop themselves at Imperial ting of Prince’s Gardens, right next plummet and those responsible for greater impact on poorer students. College London. Chris Roberts to Hyde Park and the Albert Hall these decisions will be identified The college needs to stop thinking is amazing and the joy of living and held accountable. Victoria Walshaw Khoonsake Segkhoonthod of it’s commercial needs, and lis- here shouldn’t be denied to future If Imperial really cared about im- One of the roles of the university is ten to it’s students - without them, students. Anonymous proving it’s student satisfaction to provide freshers with affordable there wouldn’t even be an Imperial I strongly encourage relevant in- levels, they shouldn’t be send- accommodation close to college, College. Kelvin Wong, Master in Math- dividuals to reflect on these views ing fresher students even further and closing garden hall is yet an- ematics, University of Cambridge, and those of other students past away. other step away from this for Im- Severine Marechal Garden Hall Resident 2009/2010 and present, the university’s future, perial. Keep Garden open! After Clayponds, Garden, Evelyn Garden Hall is one of the only Col- and their reasons for working in Celine Tang, 3rd year Imperial Gardens... the entire ICL accom- lege owned Halls of Residences this sector before potentially mak- College student, Garden resident Ivan Brown modation landscape changing that preserves the character of ing one of the most disappointing 2010/2011 and 2012/2013 From what I have gathered from against welfare and living prin- the area in which the University’s mistakes of their career. Garden is just an amazing halls those living in Paragon and Xenia ciples. So much for Imperial Stu- main campus is in. The proximity that is close to imperial, cheap and halls, they find it a lot more incon- dent experience improvement! We of the hall to the main campus ac- has such a friendly close knit com- venient to socialize with others might as well be renamed Imperial tively encourages students to get Sean Lucent was in Garden and munity. It would have such a huge from their course. Garden Halls College Southeast... involved with extra curricular ac- Weeks 2009 - 2012, Weeks for impact on first year students to are conveniently placed, and Ac- tivities, which are largely based on the first two of those years and close this halls. ton less so. Charlene Valencia the South Kensington campus and Garden for his final year because My brother lived here. It is an often run until quite late, I believe he had spent so much of his time Anran Cheng, 1st year Imperial Andrei Cioara amazing place for 1st year stu- that the lack of affordable accom- there the year before. College student, Garden resident Student life is busy anyway. When dents getting to grips with living modation close to College would I wasn’t in Garden (or Weeks) for 2012/2013 you pay more to travel more, there in London, esp with premium rates be a huge loss to freshers hoping my first year (though Garden was I just love Garden! It is the best is surely something wrong going and cost of living. To lose it would to enjoy the university experience the hall I was hoping to be as- place I could imagine for students. on. Everyone envies Garden Hall be a travesty to future students. and would adversely affect the al- signed to) and I saw almost all the Wardens and students living here residents for good reason. ready embarrassingly low student halls of residence in my first year are just like a big family. It is super- Andrew Bromley satisfaction levels. firsthand - Garden was the only close to the uni and therefore pro- Angus Bayley Because the average person is be- hall that felt like a home to me and vides excellent opportunities for us [I signed the petition] Because I’m ing priced out of London and this is Kelvin Wong, Master in Math- not a hotel and I loved being part to participate in different activi- worried that the college may be a ridiculous price to expect a stu- ematics, University of Cambridge, of the Garden and Weeks commu- ties. It is just so important for fresh- pricing the less privileged out of dent, let alone someone who is in Garden Hall Resident 2009/2010 nity so much I never once consid- ers! They would definitely lose a lot their first choice education. full time employment to pay Garden Hall is the only Impe- ered anywhere else. if the hall is closed! rial hall that possesses real inspi- It’s not just the people (great Maksymilian Wiśniowski Caroline Glassberg-Powell rational character! To take it away people are to be found in all of Im- Katy Sayer, 1st year In two years I would like to apply Affordable housing that is close to from the freshers is probably the perial’s halls), it’s the way Garden If cheap, close rooms hadn’t been to Imperial College (Biochemisry). campus enables a smooth transi- single worst thing Imperial Col- and Weeks in particular provide available at Imperial I would have One of the main reasons I wanted tion to adult life for 1000’s of fresh- lege could do to its students and I an environment that encourages had to go elsewhere. Garden and to do so was the low cost of acco- ers every year, cutting away the would instantly lose respect for the its residents to get together. Gar- Weeks is a really close-knit, friend- modation in Garden Hall. I thought complexities of long commutes, university and how it is run if this den is pretty maze-like in its layout ly and diverse community; to close that Garden Hall was going to be unsavory neighbourhoods, and were to happen. Not only would and that’s brilliant; you get used to Garden would close a wide range the place where I could place my added transportation costs. I be- I withdraw my future support of it pretty quickly and it breaks from of opportunities for a lot of peo- first steps in the “new world” - Lon- lieve that preserving Garden Hall the university I would encourage the clear divisions of sectioned ple, meaning less well-off students don :) . I need you Garden Hall ! will improve the quality of Imperial all my friends to do similarly and floors that you get with other halls. could end up spending all their students’ lives. launch a campaign to see the uni- I feel I had more opportunity to time travelling, having less time to Celine Tang versity put in better hands. meet and talk to everyone in that study and take part in extra-cur- I have lived in Garden for 2 years Quddous Ahmed hall than I would have done in any ricular activities than those in East- of my time at Imperial. It is close, Student halls matter. The experi- Anonymous of the others. side and Southside. Save Garden! cheap, convenient and has a really ence of living in London for a stu- The university has made too many close knit community in Imperial. dent is perhaps a once in a lifetime decisions in recent years without Isaac Gentle, 3rd year Imperial Kristel Fobelets It fulfils all the requirements and opportunity so why take it away?

FRIDAY 08 MARCH 11

[email protected] CLUBS & SOCIETIES How do you organise a space conference? Planet. Joseph Dudley shoots for the stars

leven students from the Dudley (1st year Aero) become Treas- Imperial College Students urer, Events Offi cer, Projects Offi cer, for the Exploration and and Membership Offi cer respectively, EDevelopment of Space making Imperial the most represent- society (shortened to ed university on the committee. ICSEDS for obvious reasons) attended Joseph Dudley, Vice-Chair of the National Student Space Confer- ICSEDS said “Imperial had one of the ence 2013 at the University of Bristol highest turnouts at the conference, we last weekend. were the only branch to have a poster, h e conference is organised every and we got four people elected to the year by UKSEDS, the UK’s national national committee. A really great re- student space society, features talks, sult, and a tribute to the dedication of a careers fair, and lots of drinking, ICSEDS’ members.” drawing students from all over the In addition to dominating UKSEDS’ country. committee, ICSEDS has plans to be- Imperial students chatted to pio- come the hub for a London based neering engineer Alan Bond, the man SEDS group that will feature collabo- behind the Skylon space plane, and ration with groups at Kingston, UCL, Dr David Parker, the CEO of the UK and KCL, as well as the British Inter- Space Agency, as well as representa- planetary Society whose headquarters tives from Astrium, Reaction Engines, are in Vauxhall. and SciSys. ICSEDS is open to anyone interest- In an eff ort to dispel their reputa- ed in space. Current projects include tions as dull space geeks, UKSEDS or- high-powered model rocketry, high ganised a networking reception with altitude ballooning, and design of a copious amounts of free wine donated ramjet engine. It gives you the chance by the Royal Astronomical Society, to learn new skills working on hands- followed by a 25th anniversary boat on projects, and to meet other space party featuring plenty of cringe-wor- nuts/valuable industry contacts at thy just-barely-space-related music. awesome space events. ICSEDS and UKSEDS’ annual general meeting UKSEDS are part of a global SEDS saw the election of four Imperial stu- network that started at MIT in 1980 dents to the national organising com- and features many prominent space mittee, Andy Lamb (1st year Physi- fi gures as alumni. For more informa- cist), Zoë Versey (4th year Aero), and tion on projects and membership vis- TeeJay Taiwo (2nd year Aero), Joseph it: http://union.ic.ac.uk/guilds/icseds

Funkology wins largest UK university dance competition

Chris Wood Writer ending in an explosion of fake money used to “bribe” the judges. h e previously unheard of dance so- Last weekend saw the battle of the ciety soon emerged as the dark horses dance teams in the UK’s largest uni- as they went to win the most coveted versity dance competition at Lough- First Place in Advanced Hip-hop and borough. For the ﬁ rst time ever, Fun- also Best Male, awarded to the deserv- kology represented Imperial in the ing SuviChak h ongborisoot. most contested category, Advanced Feedback from the judges was noth- Hip-hop, up against stiﬀ competition ing but praise, some commenting at from previous winners. the surprise that “Imperial known for h eir set revolved around the theme its smarts had such a creative dance of money, with songs ranging from society” and star of “So You h ink ogy and come along to their weekly Macklemore’s h rift Shop to Ma- You Can Dance” tweeting photos with dance classes advertised on Facebook donna’s Material Girl, choreographed the fake money acknowledging their at www.facebook.com/funkology- by Carlo Frem, Adrianna Liu, Derek achievement. crew. Follow them to keep up to date Mok and Chris Wood. To add to their To watch the performance and other with events as the society enters its dance moves, the routine included fur videos, check out their YouTube chan- 10th year, with what is promised to be coats and inappropriate touching, all nel at www.youtube.com/ICUFunkol- the best so far! 12 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

CLUBS & SOCIETIES [email protected]

Teasingly Fairtrade Fairtrade Fortnight Aditya Narayanan is deﬁ nitely more than

t began with an old favourite. A cold h ursday in late February with the promise of Iice cream; Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to be exact. h e academic year had been welcomed with a raucous fi rst session in October seeing Activity Space 1 crammed with attendees of a two hour frozen des- sert buff et. h is time, with the second term waning, a more relaxed aff air was anticipated and with this in mind, we had divided it into two sessions. h e previous three days leading to this moment saw our stands in the JCR and SAF intermittently approached for ticket purchases. But we were experienced heads in the game, knowing that this was nothing more than the calm before the storm. Sure enough, with 20 minutes to go, the atrium to the Physics Com- mon Room was starting to resemble the mosh pit at your average Pantera concert. After much jostling through the eager crowd we were fi nally able to transfer our precious goods into the room to set up the spread of what must have been 15 diff erent fl avours. All the old favourites were there – Phish Food, Chocolate Fudge Brown- ie, Cookie Dough – as well as some newer ones in ‘Core’ range. Unable to contain the giddy masses any further, the door was allowed open and the swarm of sweet-toothed Imperialites surged into the room. h e queue stretched the length of Waitrose not providing value for mon- fi nish would be required the enigmatic the room, as our committee battled ey, the two of us who went were faced man in black slammed his bowl down to maintain a steady stream of people with having to sprint to Sainsbury’s in on the table, and strolled off noncha- collecting their ice cream. In fact, as order to make our purchase. Having lantly to the gasps of the crowd. With many as 20 people were turned away made it back by the skin of our teeth, that done, everyone settled down for a at the door due to us being already we prepared for the second half. second set of dazzling debaters to tus- stretched for resources and close to h is time the numbers were slightly sle with the important Fairtrade ques- Cooperating with Fairtrade Society was a fantastic experience which culmi- exceeding the capacity of the room. reduced from the fi rst session put- tion of the night. nated in a Fairtrade Tea and Chocolate Event. Being the President of Tea So- Having advised them to book tickets ting paid to the idea that students are After such a manic night, the per- ciety for this academic year, I can say we had already tried to promote links for the second session (which many mostly nocturnal creatures. h e less fect antidote materialised in a sedate with other societies, for example through a joint event with Cook- did), we breathed a sigh of relief. hectic conditions presented the fi rst knitting session with Knitsock in SAF ing Society. We believe many societies share common inter- First crisis over. As ex- opportunity to stage the notorious ice using Fairtrade yarn. Under our un- ests and that drawing different people from different pected, despite a surfeit of cream race – something that had been mistakeable Fairtrade banner and the clubs together when possible will make the Union bravado from the gelato afi - inadvertently forgotten due to the in- expert tutelage of the Knitsock com- more vibrant. Fairtrade relates to lots of things cionados, the initial (sugar) tensity of the session. h at presented mittee, a crowd gradually perambu- in our everyday life and this event has made my rush abated at the halfway a signifi cant physical and mental chal- committee realise it would be very easy to incor- mark, with attendees strug- lenge to all competitors in the form of porate Fairtrade in our weekly events. Hearing gling to maintain the elec- brainfreeze. Whosoever could fi nish first-hand accounts from enthusiastic cocoa tric pace with which they heaped bowl of ice cream in the short- That present- farmers from Ghana converted to Fairtrade was had begun. Contented, they est time would earn the most prestig- a brilliant way of making everyone who came settled down to listen to ious prize of all: respect. And a couple aware of how beneficial Fairtrade can be. Never- four of Imperial College De- of tubs of ice cream for good measure. ed a signifi cant theless, this was primarily a FREE tea and chocolate bating’s fi nest pit their wits At the sound of ‘go’, they were off . tasting event so no matter how you may feel towards the against each other in a 2 v Like salmon swimming upstream, Fairtrade movement, it would have been worth coming! I am 2 verbal tussle of doom on pieces of Ben & Jerry’s freed them- physical and looking forward to seeing more cooperation between societies whether or not the Fairtrade selves of their inanimate nature, leap- within the Union as well as more Fairtrade over the campus. Finally, I would movement is a long term solution or ing gleefully into the open mouths of mental chal- like to give big thanks to all the Fairtrade committee members who have spent not. the competitors. Within seconds it hours organising this Fairtrade fortnight. Come along to our Teasoc meetings Session one ended with us realising was clear that there was a ferocious to enjoy some Fairtrade tea alongside our usual selection! that we had been eaten out of our ex- battle emerging between Nick ‘the lenge to all... isting Ben & Jerry’s supplies precipi- fridge-freezer’ Politis and a mysteri- Pauline Vaskou TeaSoc President tating a mad dash to the supermarket ous, unnamed stranger. With the com- brainfreeze to stock up on more supplies. With mittee wondering whether a photo “” FRIDAY 08 MARCH 13

[email protected] CLUBS & SOCIETIES

comes to an end Not yarning afterwards just Fairly pleased at how the week went

lated over, camping out on the SAF ule, prompting bemused mutterings ness model with great success, putting couches and getting stuck into some from the more cynical among us. paid to the fallacy that Fairtrade does needle action! Before long, the entire On to Wednesday, and a free tea nothing more than allow companies area was teeming with happy knit- and chocolate event organised with to whack on an extra markup on prod- ters, learning how to diff erentiate weft the delightful Tea Society. h is event ucts. Although no one pretends that from warp like pros. It was the perfect would see the arrival of special guests the movement is perfect as it is and preparation for the weekend, and as all the way from Ghana – cocoa farm- requires little improvement, few crit- a committee we left brimming with ers brought over by Divine Chocolate, ics actually off er a constructive, intel- enthusiasm for what awaited us in the who had provided a wide selection of lectual critique of the Fairtrade move- second week. their fl avours for those present. Along ment – and even less dare to mention On Monday night two wonderful with the mouth-watering variety of the fact that protectionist strategies teachers from the Kings Road branch tastes on off er (white chocolate and by governments in developed coun- of Lush, the cosmetics company, who strawberry, dark chocolate and ginger tries undermine any other eff orts to were giving a class on making face and hazelnut milk among others) we improve farmers’ conditions by ham- masks. Only 20 places were available, had soothing teas courtesy of Qi; in a pering their ability to trade freely with most of which were taken up by fe- word, heaven. more privileged nations. male students. However, contrary to Coincidentally, it happened to be Our stomachs were fi lled by our the Imperial stereotype there were Ghana’s Independence Day, which rather unorthodox ‘lunch’ of sorts, several gallant, metrosexual men in seemed appropriate as the farmers and our eyes were opened by the stun- attendance, unafraid to take care of proceeded to educate us as to how the ningly short talk. If only College lec- themselves. Indeed, the male Fair- Fairtrade movement had given their turers were this skilled at delivering trade committee members even got in farming cooperative a certain amount critical information in a concise and on the act, with a certain webmaster of liberation from the market power of comprehensible manner in under 20 seeming especially keen on the hand national product distribution associa- minutes. With that done, it was time massage. tions and MNC’s alike, especially for to start preparing for the piece de re- h ree events down. Two were left, them as women (doubly relevant given sistance. Bringing together the sister after the unfortunate postponement today is International Women’s Day). institutions of Imperial and the Royal Last Friday, KnitSock and Fairtrade Society joined forces to take over the SAF of the Future Trade conference with In a generation where we as consum- College of Music, and in association foyer, in the most recent stage of our bid to unleash Fairtrade, yarny fun to the PPS. Originally billed as ‘h e ers are becoming increasingly insulat- with our muy buenos amigos/excel- the world. Yes, our steps towards our ultimate aim are modest, (we would ar- Brawl in the Lecture Hall’, this was ed from the realities of food produc- lents amis/ from Cheese Society, gue realistic) but what a resounding success this bid was! We had beautiful slated to pit Fairtrade heavyweight tion, it was enlightening to see these we are hosting a Cheese and Wine Fairtrade yarn to give to participants, we had Fairtrade hot drinks to keep the Barbara Crowther (Director of Public highly empowered people cut through Tasting night in baRCM tonight from caffeine levels up, we had knitting and crochet masters to share their skills, all Communications) against a cohort of many of the myths that detractors of 19:30 onwards. With Fairtrade wines amongst a relaxed atmosphere of chitchat whilst lounging on sofas! I for one brainiacs from thinktank the Institute Fairtrade propagate prodigiously. Di- and delicious cheeses to tempt the used it as an opportune excuse to start the weekend early, with chilled-out, for Economic Aff airs. Sadly, the latter vine themselves are 45% owned by the most hardnosed of connosieurs, it is happy vibes. group were ultimately unable to fi nd Ghanaian Kuapa Kokoo cooperative, sure to be the perfect way to end Fair- KnitSock meets at least once a week in the same manner, only enriched with complementary dates in their sched- and have been pioneering this busi- trade Fortnight. more yarn, more patterns, more masters, more cake, and more music. Experts and beginners are very welcome; we teach and chat and laugh for freeeeee! Email [email protected] to join our mailing list! Finally, a huge thank you to Fairtrade Society, and especially Fang He, for all the help in making the event such a success! See you soon, knitsters! Justine Dattani

A cheesy night... It’s an age old tradition to marry cheese and wine that the Cheese Society are excited to present along with the Fairtrade Society! We’ve been in talks for a few years now about this event, so it feels good to finally join forces in this wonderful culmination of a fortnight of activities, dedicated to promoting a fairer vision of world trade. Our Cheese and Wine night will be all about just that, Fair- trade wines and complimentary cheese, picked to bring out the complex aromas and flavours to tickle your palette, along with some complimentary condi- ments such as olives, grapes, nuts and strawberries. Come on down to Bar RCM to join us in ending this Fairtrade Fortnight with a cheesy bang. Carpe Caesum.

Ying Gu

MANIFESTOS PRESIDENT

Noor El-Ansari

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

David Goldsmith

As RAG chair I gave you the RAG you • Push for exam feedback from per- • Introduce a sabbatical oﬃ cer hot- • Endeavor for direct postgraduate wanted. We turned around a defunct sonal tutors in more departments. desk in the JCR Friday lunchtimes input into the replacement of the Hol- society, tripled the amount raised • Support international students by where we will listen to your views. land Club. last year in less than two terms, and pushing College to fund community- • Run Union bars/clubs the way you • Campaign for an annual half-day erected a bungee-jump on the Queen’s building projects as done at MIT. want them with a new student-led En- free to allow all undergraduates to en- lawn. Now to give you the university • Demand a new mechanism to entertainments committee. gage in volunteering or charity fund- you want. Undergrads bring in 1/3 of sure student consultation from the • Provide a sponsorship speed-dat- raising as medics already do. College income. Masters students pay outset of College decision-making. ing service for clubs and socs. astronomical fees. PhD students do We can never allow another North Visit votedavid.co.uk where I ex- all the work. We are this university, so Acton. 3. To make your time yours I will: plain the need for and implementation why doesn’t it feel ours? • Lobby the Health Centre to see pa- of these policies amongst others. 1. To make your College yours I will: 2. To make your Union yours I will: tients one more evening per week. Ali Ibrahim

Who am I? it possibly can be. NSS survey tions Ali Ibrahim, studying Biomedical I will respond to all issues as and • Completely abolish union entry • Fresher’s Fair 2.0 (in second term) Sciences. is year I hold two posi- when they arise and make sure the ul- fees –no one should have to pay to get Ultimately, the student union presi- tions on the RCSU executive commit- timate outcome has the student’s pri- into their own union dent’s role is to represent every single tee and have worked in the union for orities at its core. • Transparency within the union – student. So in addition to the points I almost 3 years. I will: students should know what’s happen- propose here, let me emphasize that I’m a member of the Lacrosse Club • Continue the push #AgainstActon ing as it happens, not once its already together, WE will make a diﬀ erence! and had a brief stint as a cheerleader. • Push for all courses to video every been decided, eg. through Sabbatical After all, it is we students that make As president, I will do everything lecture to be available in an online ar- video blogs on a fortnightly basis Imperial one of the greatest universi- I possibly can and more to represent chive • Monthly “surgery” on Queen’s ties in the world. each and every one of you, and make • Improve Imperial’s rankings - tar- Lawn, where students can approach your student experience as amazing as geting student satisfaction and the sabbaticals with any queries/sugges- Don’t Dilly Daly, Vote for Ali Christopher Kaye

is is the uncensored version of my drink. Simply exempting ‘yards’ from when she visited the College. -Portrait of the Queen at Union manifesto, since the man keeps put- this nonsense is not good enough! Finally, I would investigate with TFL -Investigate having an Oyster top- ting me down. Hopefully this won’t Secondly, I think the Union bars and Estates about the possibility of up machine also be censored like my posters were. should sell cigarettes. e Union installing an Oyster Card top-up ma- Hello! I’m Chris Kaye, a 3rd year Newsagents currently does, but it chine somewhere in College. If it’s late chemist, and I’m running for ICU closes at 6pm, which is very inconven- and the Tube is closed, you want to President. ient for smoking customers at the bar. know you are able to get home. I ﬁ nd the anti-alcohol Policy that the is is about freedom of choice. Union adopted in 2012 unnecessary irdly, I think there should be a TL;DR : and patronising. Bar staﬀ do not need portrait of the Queen at the Union to be told how to collect glasses ‘safely’, bars and Dining Hall. She gave Impe- -Abolish anti-alcohol policy Candidateand we do not need to be told how to rial College its Royalwithdrawn Charter in 2007 -Tobacco products at Union bars

the VOTING OPENS VOTING CLOSES BIG CAST YOUR 8 MARCH 15 MARCH ELECTIONS 12:00 12:00 2013 VOTE NOW imperialcollegeunion.org/elections The Union President is ultimately responsible for the direction of the Union, all Union activity and its ﬁ nances. They are the big boss (pretty much the Rick Ross of the Union, but probably without all of the expensive jewellery). If aliens were to invade the UK, they would be held responsible. Well, not quite, but you get the point: they are ultimately in charge of the Union. Tasks vary from simple things such as chairing a meeting to managing a multimillion pound project such as refurbishing the Union’s bars. The President sits on numerous committees within College including the College Council, making them a Trustee of the College. They also sit on a number of committees at the Union, and meet regularly with the President & Rector and other senior College staff to provide student input in decision-making processes and to raise any immediate concerns that the student body might have. They are therefore responsible for ensuring students are represented and heard when decisions are made. It’s not all work and no play though, there are plenty of fun things that they will get to do. A great example is the opportunity to give a speech in a packed Royal Albert Hall (can anyone say epic streaking opportunity?) and having your very own President’s dinner.

Becky Lane

h is year as Deputy President (Wel- cisions that have negatively impacted and the knowhow to give all students and increased support for internation- fare) I have lobbied College on issues students have been unchallenged for the support they need with housing. al events and trips around the UK to that aﬀ ect you. Next year there will be too long. Paragon, Clayponds, Hol- • Build links with other Unions - help international students adjust to another evening surgery at the Health land Club and North Acton. It’s time there is the potential to do more with London. Centre, increased counselling and dis- for someone to take charge that isn’t London student unions. h is is a great • Host an Alternative Careers Fair, abilities appointments after 6pm. I afraid to be unpopular with College opportunity to diversify some Union putting students in contact with have put the personal tutor problem management while representing the events. smaller employers and charities. on the agenda of College. A system view of students. • Student-lead entertainments in the I am the candidate that has the expe- that will inform your tutors of your • Provide a comprehensive private Union – you are the people that know rience to hit the ground running. Full marks is soon to be created. If elected accommodation guide to students. what events you want! I promise to manifesto at www.votebeckylane.com. I will: Finding private accommodation can have more drink oﬀ ers in the bar. • Stand up to College - too many de- be stressful. h e Union has the data • More inclusivity – greater variety Forhad Matin

A greater voice to the student body.

A more democratic union.

Greater participation of staﬀ and No photo submitted students in college events.

Greater transparency of the Union.

Ernest Tan

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

RON for all of the positions Hi everyone, I’m RON! I’m stand- bothered to stand for everything. 3. Everything to be better or some- ing for every single position!!! Do you know how many sweets I thing! LOLZORZ. AMAZEBALLS RIGHT! have to buy every single year just to Not sure how to achieve this, but it Well, if you hate all the other losers, stand in these damn things? Loads, probably has something to do with then just vote for me. I stand for that’s how many. I need more mon- giving you all £100000 free printer Re-Open Nominations, and if I win ey. credit at the Library. then the election is re-run. What do I promise? Well, here it goes... 2. To sleep with your mum! 4. I will learn how to do a backflip Awwwwwwwww yeah. Ron’s been and perform it in the JCR, daily! 1. Pay rise for RON! practicing his luuurve magic, and Why? Why not should be your ques- I’ve been doing this for free for far apparently I’m ‘cute’ – her words, tion. Everyone loves backflips. too long. It’s lame as hell. I can’t be not mine. See more online! The DPCS is here to look after the 300+ Clubs, Societies & Projects at Imperial College Union. That’s a pretty wide reaching job: there is everything from Archery to Pottersoc (and apparently some kick-ass student DEPUTY PRESIDENT newspaper called Felix too)! The role involves duties such as helping individual clubs with issues they face to working with national organisations to represent Imperial students. They will have to problem-solve at every CLUBS & SOCIETIES level and have the opportunity to effect real change in the direction of Student Activities at Imperial. The decisions that they make have the potential to directly improve the experience of thousands of students who take part in Clubs, Societies & Projects at Imperial.

Yasmin Edwards

Hi! My name is Yasmin Edwards and treasurers to run their clubs, societies drop in sessions, especially for treas- lish links between societies and com- I am a ﬁ nal year biologist running for and projects so everyone can enjoy urers, to back up the online training. panies by running SPONSORSHIP Deputy President Clubs & Societies. the many activities available outside of • Improve training for DEPSOCS to speed-dating. h is year I am Vice President of Bi- their studies. Here’s how: strengthen department wide events I am friendly, approachable and osoc and Captain of Women’s rugby • Build on the developments to the and activities. would love the opportunity to work and was on the events committee and eActivities WEBSITE to make it more • Increase student INVOLVEMENT with you to help solve any problems social secretary for them last year. I user friendly and improve the online by continuing the promotion of clubs, you may face from involvement in have gained experience in how diﬀ er- training system. societies and projects with a refresh- clubs and societies. h ank you for ent clubs and societies work and the • Ensure clubs, societies and man- ers’ fair and more engaging advertise- reading and please vote Yasmin Ed- range of problems they face. h ere is agement groups get enough SUP- ment of clubs and society events. wards for DPCS! a lot of room for improvement and I PORT by responding to enquiries • Secure more FUNDING for ac- plan to make it easier for chairs and within 24 hours and having regular tivities from the IC trust and estab- Rowena Harrison

Hi I’m Rowena Harrison. I’m a fourth With taking a year abroad I know things that need improvement. tem. year physicist, returned from my year I can take the initiative to get things I want to: - have more Union events (aside abroad and I would love to be your done. Being involved in the organiza- - make club handover a standardized from We Are Metric nights) for sport- DPCS next year. I have been a mem- tion of concerts and competitions has process; implement a questionnaire to ing events e.g. Super Bowl, Wimble- ber of several clubs since my fi rst year, highlighted my attention to detail and gather club’s feedback on timetabling, don Finals and Snow sports compe- helped out at Fresher’s’ Fair, and even creativity. I believe my experiences diff erent challenges and feedback on titions, where clubs can fundraise as been a founding member of a club! I on these club committees have chal- their experience with the Union. well. have experience of diff erent club ac- lenged me and brought out some of - improve DepSocs interaction with - improve e-Activities, make it fast- tivities in sports as well as the arts my qualities I think would be an asset their departments, with the possibility er!! during my roles as Librarian and Hon- to DPCS. As a founding member of a of staff liaisons. orary Secretary on both Wind Band club, it has given me some insight into - improve the fi nance system for and Cheerleading respectively. how the Union works and some of the clubs, make a new, less-confusing sys- Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

Lucy McGregor

Hi, I’m Lucy, and I’m in my fourth (and and I want to be able to give them all agement Group Chair of the Social the move just a couple of years ago fi nal) year studying Civil and Environ- the support and encouragement they Clubs Committee, one of the largest now to the online eActivities tool for mental Engineering. I’m running for need and deserve to continue to off er groups of clubs. I also in connection Club fi nances and training. h at sys- DPCS because over my years here at fantastic opportunities and brilliant with that role sat on the Clubs and So- tem is still receiving updates and Imperial I have had so many extraor- fun to younger students. cieties Board and the Union Council, dinary experiences and met so many I have been heavily involved in a so I have a good wide level overview amazing friends through the Union whole variety of Club and Society of the Union workings with regard to Clubs and Societies, and now I want activities over my years at Imperial, Clubs and Societies. to give something back. I have never including spending two years as a h ere have been a lot of changes in met a more dedicated, inspiring and Club Offi cer, a year as a Management Union recently, like the new Constitu- hardworking collection of people than Group Treasurer with the Community tion, with its updates on a variety of Imperial’s Club and Society Offi cers, Action Group, and this year as Man- issues like club election protocols, and

the VOTING OPENS VOTING CLOSES BIG CAST YOUR 8 MARCH 15 MARCH ELECTIONS 12:00 12:00 2013 VOTE NOW imperialcollegeunion.org/elections The Deputy President (Finance & Services) is responsible for all of the Un- ion’s fi nances and commercial operations. They are basically all about the DEPUTY PRESIDENT cheddar cheese, all about the benjamins… You get the drift: they worry about money. That’s everything from the fi nances of all of the clubs to the bars. They are there to make sure the services are all great and try to FINANCE & SERVICES come up with ways that the facilities benefi t as many students as possible. This includes club nights, live bands, pub quizzes and bar nights in Metric, FiveSixEight and the Union Bar. They are also responsible for the Union Shop and Newsagent on the main walkway.

Nikhil Anand

No manifesto submitted. No photo submittedCandidate withdrawn Joseph Andrews

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

Kieron Creagh

In the four years I’ve spent at Imperial, company in London. following: • Dedicating time to personally help- I’ve held numerous positions in multi- ICU provides a fantastic range of • Strengthening ties between Impe- ing students with concerns on a one- ple clubs. I’m currently RSM and Dep- services and opportunities to a diverse rial students and the union, introduc- to-one basis, making their lives easier Soc treasurer, roles in which I have student body, and I want to ensure that ing convenient ways for students to of- and the union friendlier. tirelessly worked to organise many continues. I have constantly shared my fer feedback and suggestions that will • Catering for all students, includ- successful, large scale events. I have ideas throughout my time at Imperial, be listened to, especially regarding the ing postgraduates and international worked closely with many students, helping bring about positive changes, content of events in Metric. students. the sabbatical team and union staff , whether that be administrative mat- • Focus on the little things that mat- My union involvement, fi nancial gaining familiarity with union opera- ters behind the scenes or negotiating ter, such as making sure booking mini- knowledge and dedication makes me tions. I have experience dealing with new drinks deals behind the bar. buses, equipment or event space is a the perfect candidate. I will listen to all fi nancial aff airs, having interned the As DPFS I will strive to further the streamlined process that works con- students, ensuring I can leave Imperial last two summers at a trading services union’s improvement, prioritising the sistently. proud of my eff orts. Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

the VOTING OPENS VOTING CLOSES BIG CAST YOUR 8 MARCH 15 MARCH ELECTIONS 12:00 12:00 2013 VOTE NOW imperialcollegeunion.org/elections The Deputy President (Education) is the go-to person for all academic needs. They sit on top of the representation structure (Year Rep - Dep Rep - Academic Affairs Oi cer - DPE) so they’re usually directly involved when things that DEPUTY PRESIDENT can’t be resolved at lower levels need urgent attention or are of signiﬁ cant importance. For example, BioChemistry preliminary grades being unavailable for students. In addition to working directly with students on their represen- EDUCATION tation issues, the DPE is also the main contact for College when they are planning to run projects or do anything academia related. The DPE role is simply summarised as “making sure the academic experience at Imperial is one of the best in the world”.

Jonathan London

• To improve electronic learning re- • For more than two thirds of lecture week, to meet with any student that sional Development. sources, such as but not limited to col- courses across college to be regularly wishes to talk to me about academic • To campaign against the relocation lege computing facilities and software. recorded and made available to stu- issues. of student accommodation to North Also, to look for a cheaper, better al- dents by the end of my term. • h at a system is put in place Acton and the closure of Evelyn gar- ternative to Blackboard. • For personalised exam feedback to whereby international students start- dens. • To Look towards building new be given across college, and access to ing at imperial can know what the I want to leave imperial a better links and strengthening existing rela- exam scripts to be granted to students total cost of their course will be, with university that it was when I arrived, tionships with institutions in North (how can we get better without know- all fee increases ahead of inﬂ ation ac- help me to achieve that goal, by Voting America, Australasia, Europe, and ing where we went wrong?), such as at counted for by College. London for DPE. Asia, so students will have more op- Kings College London. • h at free language courses are portunities to study and do research • A commitment to having two of- made available to post graduate stu- placements abroad. ﬁ ce hours in my schedule free every dents through the school of Profes- Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted The DPW coordinates campaigns and information concerning student DEPUTY PRESIDENT welfare, working closely with the Union’s Student Advisor, student volunteers and the College’s Welfare services. Their main aim should be making you turn that frown upside down. They represent students’ welfare WELFARE needs to College and external organisations, and sit on a number of Col- lege committees relating to welfare, accommodation, equal opportunities and the student experience. They are also responsible for the activities of the Union’s Community Action Group and IC RAG.

James Hulse

Four years into my degree, I’ve seen well this year but there’s scope for us needs the stress of an unsupportive If elected as your DPW I’ll work a lot of what Imperial can throw at to take it much further, rolling it out supervisor. Existing support mecha- hard towards achieving the above you and my year abroad has given me across all years. nisms need to be made clearer and whilst keeping a personal contact with another perspective on the workings • Personal tutors need more training more easily accessible. the student body - my door will always of a students’ union. I’m looking to and should know more about your ac- • Did you know that your Union is be open if you need me. use past experience and build on this ademic progress so that they’re better there to support you when you wish Vote James for DPW! year’s achievements in welfare to help informed on how to help you. to lobby for a good cause? We should tackle some of the problems that per- • h e health centre needs to be open make so much more of this great resist, as well as to introduce some new more regularly outside of College source, I’m here to help! strands to the Union’s welfare system. hours – one late night a week just isn’t Oh and in case you were wondering, Here are my principal points of action: enough! of course I’m absolutely #AgainstAc- • h e buddy scheme has worked • Don’t forget our PGs! No one ton. Marissa Lewis

h roughout my four years at Imperial I this experience, I’ve found three key areas to make them more fun policies have been passionate about student wel- I’d improve if elected: Community and Inclusion: Representation: fare, both through my job as a Senior Support: • Be for student experience and #Again- • Host a welfare forum each term so Steward at the Union, where I’ve worked • Reform personal tutor system in Col- stActon students can raise any issues bothering for three years, and through my role this lege so student welfare doesn’t depend on • Expand and improve the Mums and them year as an elected Welfare Oﬃ cer. h is the personal tutor lottery Dads scheme • Be available in the JCR once a week so has involved sitting on both Council and • Resurrect SHAG week, making it rel- • Encourage diverse Union events - students are more empowered to ques- the Representation and Welfare Board, as evant to all sexualities, and push for on- more Post-Grad functions (the PG Min- tion their Sabbaticals well as liaising with the current DPW, to campus STI screening gle isn’t enough), LGBT nights, etc. • Reform the welfare oﬃ cer system to advocate on behalf of students. Running • Set up student-run support groups for • Provide a wider range of Freshers’ connect them to the groups they repre- a society as well means I have experience those struggling with mental health issues events to include those who don’t drink sent in many aspects of Imperial life and, with • Innovate exam stress-relief schemes • Review our current energy-saving Vote Marissa for DPW. Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

Philippa Skett

From the experience I have gained den halls and to renew the lease for events to be subsidised and have fa- advocates for striving for a greener fu- from working with ICU previously Evelyn Gardens. cilities provided for by the Union. ture, and we should embrace this. as BioSoc President and RCSU Vice Students- Open Offi ce Policy where Increase in departmental tutoring- Health- to run a BIG campaign week President this year, I can see what students can drop by without having students teaching students to give to really de-stigmatise mental illness- happens when exciting, enthusiastic to make an appointment, but still have older years a chance to pad out their es. Working alongside the services al- people take charge and get stuck in. I priority, even if I am otherwise en- CV and brush up on their basics, and ready provided to increase participa- want to make the Union a more social, gaged. younger years an informal learning tion for workshops on exam stress and happier infl uence on students and in Services- put a lot more information environment that off ers a sense of ca- the availability of counselling during turn keep their satisfaction high and online for housing, money advice and maraderie. Great for supplementing exam periods. their welfare in check. How I plan to postgraduate and international stu- the buddy system! RAG- more union support, more do this: dent specifi c guidance. Environment- bringing back Green events, more fun! Halls - Lobby College to keep Gar- Social- more inter-departmental Week! Scientists like us are the best

More manifestos for Deputy President (Welfare) on the next page DEPUTY PRESIDENT (WELFARE) Continued from the previous page

William Stocker

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

Felix is the weekly student publication of Imperial College London, and was founded in 1949. The Editor oversees the production of the paper throughout the year and ensures that it goes to print eve- FELIX EDITOR ry week; tasks include design, writing, editing (duh), investigating news and photography. The Editor must seek out contributors and editors for other sections, not to mention encouraging students to write! They also are in charge of the ﬁ nances of the paper, and, ultimately, are responsible for everything in the paper.

Joseph Letts

I’m running for the position of Fe- ties and as Media Chair I have gained information about local events in and Student Focused lix Editor because Felix is a fantastic leadership skills and Union knowl- around college. More news about Imperial students, source of information and creativity edge. ese talents will give me an Know Your Union more news relevant for postgraduate for Imperial students and I believe I edge in the Felix oﬃ ce. In depth coverage of Union politics students and listening to feedback. can make it better and more engaging. A vote for Letts is a vote for a persis- and structure so you know who your Vote Letts for Passion, Vote Letts for I’ve seen Felix as a reader, as a writer tent, dedicated Felix Editor. representatives are, what they’re up to Dedication, Vote Letts for Felix and as a section editor (Politics 2011- and how it impacts you. Not convinced? Go to www. 12) and I have the experience to run Plans to improve Felix for students: Open Oﬃ ce voteletts.co.uk for more. the paper as an editor and as a man- New Sections I will make Felix more inviting and Every vote counts! ager. As well as contributing to Felix A “Careers” section with detailed in- transparent so if you want to write during my time at Imperial I have terviews during the Autumn term and an article or more you’ll know who to also been involved other media socie- a weekly “What’s On” page providing contact, and what to expect. Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

William Prince

Felix, for me, is the best of Imperial. mour, whilst remaining aware of • constantly be evolving and improv- will4felix and feel free to tweet me at e humour, the critical eye it casts where to draw the line. ing Felix, by asking what we are doing @willyprince over the goings-on of College and the • produce more engaging content well, what we are not doing well, and Union, the voice that champions the that showcases the best of life within what we can do to make Felix better. causes dearest to Imperial students. In college… I want Felix to be something we its unique way, Felix makes an indel- • ... as well as bringing you the best can all be proud of. I will give my all ible mark on each of our experiences of the world outside. to make sure that Felix, in print, is at Imperial. • build a more interactive online something that you will look forward It would be a pleasure and a privilege presence, to give Felix a personality. to reading each Friday, and, online, is to hold the position of Felix Editor for • actively involve students from something you enjoy interacting with next year, and if elected, I promise to: across the college, to produce a more every day. • maintain Felix’s rich vein of hu- relevant and representative Felix. For more info head to http://gg.gg/ Being a Student Trustee is a serious responsibility which requires those on the Board to take an active role in the governance and direction of the Union. The Trustee Board is there to ensure that the Union is meeting its aims and objec- STUDENT TRUSTEES tives, sets the long term strategy, ensures that the Union is using its ﬁ nancial resources correctly and is ﬁ nancially viable and ultimately is acting within the law. They meet about 4-5 a year, have an away day, and have various sub committees. Two student trustees are elected, and two are appointed. So you are looking for two top candidates.

Bukki Adedapo

Hello Imperial! world and as such I feel we deserve at creased funding for clubs and socie- viding another service but on a much I’m Bukki, a chemical engineering least a little comfort for the next few ties, halls nowhere near Acton...in- wider scale. dude running to be one of your trus- years here before the pressure of lead- creased student satisfaction via the big tees. ing really tests us when we leave this pockets we know Imperial have. So what am I going to do as your It’s common knowledge that the memorable South Kensington cam- As co-chair of events for the chemi- trustee? primary people at this uni are the pus. cal engineering department I’ve had a students. I mean without you, what I’ve had the pleasure of coming into really, really successful year organising Essentially, anything you want... would Imperial be? contact with a ridiculous amount of and hosting events for the students Not only that, but as top, aspir- you and I know that this alone gives that have been said by lecturers and My name is Bukki. ing students we are the future of this me the knowledge to really show the older students alike to be the some of Trust me to be your trustee. country and the countries we come big decision makers at Imperial what the best events of past years. Next year from. We’re the future of this whole we, the students, want and need. In- I hope to continue this success by pro- Stephen Ball

Th e union has recently undergone see so many people expressing their bel (the RCS’s Mascot) and help with ion, its documentation and goals. I some major changes, managerial, opinions and getting involved with the the technical side of Dramsoc plays feel that I would make a good Student structural and ﬁ nancial. Following Union. (as well as lots of other things). I have Trustee and that I will be able to help these changes it is important that the As a member of the trustee board sat on the advisory board of a national with the on-going work to shape the Union continues to remain focused I would work to keep the Union and youth organisation; been a regional Union into something that we all can on supporting its members (that’s us your representatives accountable and representative at national confer- feel an important part of. students) with our studies, improv- accessible; working with the College, ences; and was a member of the, now ing our experience of university, and and supporting the numerous clubs, defunct, Union Court. providing support for extra-curricular societies and projects that make Im- As a result of my involvement in a development. h e #AgainstActon perial more than just a place to study. number of societies (and having been campaign is a good example of the I am a second year physicist and in on various club committees), I have a Union getting this right – it is great to my spare time I help look after Jeze- good working knowledge of the Un- Alexander Bowers

1. I am currently a third year reading nity to meet a broad range of individu- 4. I strongly advocate lecture record- Biochemistry with Management. h e als which has given me a good under- ings being made freely available to all Joint Honours nature of my course standing of what Imperial students students. In addition, I will also strive will allow me to represent both the want. to improve student’s understanding of Life Science and Business School on 3. Being a Student Trustee also in- Union undertakings. the Trustee Board. volves examining the Unions accounts, 5. VOTE BOWERS! 2. I have been actively involved in yearly budget and annual report. Hav- many clubs and societies during my ing undertaken several internships at time at Imperial including Finance, ﬁ nancial institutions as well as un- Hockey, Squash and Biochemistry. dertaking a management course next Being involved in a diverse range of year, I believe I have the relevant skill activities has given me the opportu- set to undertake these duties. Michael Foster

h e Trustee Board is the highest body documents will be integral to the Un- ditional responsibility for the Union’s excellent service for its members. We in the Union, forming its strategic di- ion’s operations in the coming years. success. h e Union will need to keep have recently overcome a diffi cult few rection. It supervises the actions of As Council Chair this year, I have abreast and ahead of developments in years, and with the right supervision, the sabbatical and senior management been a member of the Trustee Board, Charing Cross, North Acton and Im- we can continue to make ever-bigger team, and makes high-level decision as well as being an observer as Deputy perial West, so that we can continue to strides to make this a better Union. with signifi cant legal or fi nancial im- President (Finance & Services) last provide a service to all our members Vote Michael for Student Trustee! plications. For instance, the Board has year. h rough this time on the Board, as courses and students are moved recently updated the Code of Practice I have come to know the challenges around. (the document that governs our re- and opportunities the Union faces. If elected as a Student Trustee, I lationship with College) and agreed h is is especially key as the Union fi - will use the experience gained from changes to the Union Constitution af- nally moves towards charity registra- fi ve years’ involvement in the Union ter approval by Union Council. h ese tion, where Trustees will acquire ad- to ensure it continues to provide an

More manifestos for Student Trustees on the next page STUDENT TRUSTEE Continued from the previous page

Hunain Khawaja

Being part of the highest board in the therefore I believe that I’m the perfect I therefore want to IMPROVE decisions made and that the appeals Union, student trustees have a say in person to help bridge this gap, and COMMUNICATIONS between the lodged by the board represent YOUR infl uencing the most important deci- make sure that ALL your voices are Union and students and this can be views and improve YOUR student life sions made by the Union. heard, regardless of whether you’re a achieved through the better use of so- and satisfaction at Imperial. As a 2nd year biomed, I’m part of medic/non-medic. cial media (via Facebook, Twitter) to So trust me as your Trustee and vote both the ICU and ICSMSU. I feel that Moreover, I feel that not enough inform YOU, the students, about the Hunain Khawaja! there’s a great divide between the two students know what matters they’re changes taking place at Imperial and Unions such that students that are allowed to have a say in or have a rec- how YOU can aff ect these outcomes part of either ICU/ICSMSU often feel ognisable medium through which to by voicing YOUR opinions to us. excluded from the other. I am deeply voice their concerns. h is needs to Decisions made by the trustee board involved with biologists and medics change, as YOU, the students are the will inevitably and directly aff ect YOU. both academically and socially, and most important people. With YOUR vote, I will ensure that the Forhad Matin

No manifesto submitted.

No photo submitted

Shrawan Patel

h e Union Trustee Board possesses Having held Society and Year Rep to voice their opinion and challenge time calls for trustees with the breadth multiple functions: it supervises the positions, I have signifi cant experi- ideas, and this is a trait that I have a of experience to know how the union Union’s long-term strategy, it ap- ence in setting all decisions in a wider proven track record of displaying both runs and what is feasible, which is proves legal and fi nancial decisions context and will always keep the well- in Council and Exec. what you would be getting with a Vote and it is the last step in the appeals being of students as a top priority. h is is something that YOU, the Un- for Shrawan. process. With my past experience as a foun- ion’s members deserve and is some- Vote for experience As a member of Union Council and dation, I am fi rm in my belief that I thing I promise to promote if elected. Vote for someone who cares. the Executive Committee, I know the can provide a representative, informa- h e union has been undergoing Vote fi rst and second roles of the trustee tive and strategic voice whilst entrust- drastic changes over the past few board well and am confi dent with the ed with the Student Trustee position. years and this is likely to continue for last having also sat on the Union Elec- h e governing body of the union a few more yet, particularly as we ease tions Committee. needs someone fearless and unafraid into our charity status. h is period of Shiqu Qiu

Imperial College London is great for your development. I have not been bound by bounda- many reasons and one of its greatest As a 1st year student I have had ries at this very institution and thus I strengths is of course, its students. the privilege of immediately experi- believe, as do you, that we can achieve Its students come from far and wide, encing the beneﬁ ts brought about by whatever we envisage. We all want the and each come with their own unique many years of hard work carried out very best for ourselves, our friends blend of talents. Individuals of your by the Union. From Welcome Week to and our institution. Allow me to re- calibre deserve to be provided with course administration to Clubs, Socie- alise your visions for the Union and the very best, empowering you to fulﬁ l ties and Projects, the Union has made ensure that the Union serves our best your tremendous potential. h e Im- a positive impact in every aspect of my interests. perial College Union is here to serve time at Imperial so far. I am extremely Vote Shiqu! Vote your vision! each and every student. It is here to grateful to the Union and I want to enhance your education and facilitate contribute to the work of the Union. Pruthvikar Mosali Reddy

Being a student trustee means having a third year mechanical engineer I’ve versity that is Imperial. I believe I will no hidden agenda and ensuring that also had the opportunity to attend represent the views of the student the union are heading in the right di- events from a plethora of diff erent body appropriately on the board and rection. h e trustee board attends the societies. I feel these experiences will make for a great candidate. union meetings and looks over the ob- allow me to serve as a student trustee Hopefully this Bullet-Pruth mani- jectives, aims and fi nancial activity of well. I have gained a great outlook on festo will have convinced you to vote the union. the diversity of the student body and me for student trustee! I am an approachable and friendly the eff ect of the union on societies and person with experience in many dif- university as a whole. ferent types of societies such as Save Coming from a multicultural back- h e Children, Hindu Society and will ground, I feel that I am extremely be organising TEDMED this year! As capable of accommodating to the di- STUDENT TRUSTEE Continued from the previous page

Jay Shah

h e Trustee Board exists so we can Perhaps most importantly, I have If you wanted to talk to (or email) me ensure the union and its activities are the confi dence to pipe up in meetings about something you think could be legally compliant and fair; something with the union and college bigwigs important for the Trustees to discuss I am keen on ensuring. I will ensure so our voice is not lost. h is has been or just wanted to come to a meeting that the union is running and operat- boosted by over 8 months of work ex- I would be happy to be there for you. ing, fi rst and foremost for the benefi t perience at top tier fi nance fi rms over Finally, if I am elected to the Trus- of you, the Imperial College Students! my gap year being a member of the tee Board, I will not make outlandish I personally believe that all students Students Council at sixth form and promises about revolutionizing the have a say in things concerning them participating in the M.U.N for 3 years. union, but what I will ensure is that it and so I will actively try to involve h e work experience will also assist is fair and is always acting to serve its more students in union activities and in scrutinizing the decisions that af- primary stakeholders: us. decisions. fect the clubs, for example budgeting. Vote Jay and have your say.

TWO STUDENT TRUSTEES ARE ELECTED IN THIS ELECTION

They are, as the title suggests, the top dog at the Imperial College School of Medicine Student Union (snappy name, not at all a mouthful). They are responsible for all activities of ICSMSU. They oversee the actions of all ICSMSU Exec oi cers and chair regular Exec meetings to monitor this. They also represent the students to the Faculty of Medicine. They sit on most Faculty of Medi- MEDICS PRESIDENT cine Education & Welfare Committees, and chair Staff-Student Liaison Group meetings. They are the ﬁ rst port of call for welfare advice, as well as many other queries. They also represent the medics on Union committees, such as the Executive Committee and Union Council.

Dariush Hassanzadeh-Baboli

h ere is something special about • Push to standardise 3rd year so all Welfare Clubs & Societies ICSM students. We are diff erent. We students get equivalent clinical expo- • Support all ICSM welfare cam- • Ensure that our sports teams are pride ourselves in having the best sure. paigns. treated fairly and maintain our iden- medical students’ union in the UK. My Sites & Services • Have dedicated drop–in sessions tity regardless of the outcome of the extremely active role within the extra- • Oversee any changes to the Reyn- for students to discuss anything with current BUCS situation. curricular aspects of ICSM, coupled olds building. me. If given the opportunity it would be with my current position as ICSMSU • Push for the expansion of the Careers an absolute honour to represent you Clubs & Societies Offi cer, has allowed Reynolds gym. • Review the current UKFPO ap- as the next President of ICSMSU. me to collect a wealth of experience • Sell ICSM products in the Reyn- plication system. If it is unfavourable For more info and my campaign that I hope will hold me in excellent olds. for ICSM students I will campaign for video visit: stead as ICSMSU President. Graduates & Biomedical Scientists change via the BMA. https://www.facebook.com/ If elected I would strive to: • Better integrate the Graduate En- Entertainments events/276031415862462/?notif_ Education try, Direct Entry and Biomedical stu- • Review ICSM events in order to t=plan_user_joined • Review the impact the recent fi nal dents into ICSMSU, particularly social increase the attendance at the Reyn- year restructure has had. events. olds Bar Steve Tran

Our medical school is constantly providing you with the medical school nating in an annual Alumni Day. video blogs changing - to cope with this, we need you want and deserve. #TRANsform Reynolds into a mod- Ensuring all SU offi cers have the someone with a vision. ern bar with furniture and top class support to exceed your expectations h roughout my two years on SU as h e 4 main areas of my vision are: music. so you can get the best service pos- Welfare Offi cer and an Academic Of- Catering our services to benefi t all sible. fi cer, I’ve dedicated the majority of my Innovation students. free time to bettering the experiences Push for student-led ideas to im- of students; from starting up the suc- prove the personal tutor system, aid Strategy View my full manifesto at www.Ste- cessful ICSM Notebank, to revamping a restructure of year 3 and ensure our Planning for our future – Maintain veTran.co.uk the website, to representing and sup- opinions are represented to College. the unique ICSM identify in the face porting students at a one-to-one level. of opposition from BUCS, UKFPO Let’s be part of something. Let’s All of these roles have been more than Community and the hospital closures. #TRANsform ICSM. Vote Steve Tran. part-time for me. Developing a community, that lasts Allow me to show you what I can do, from day one of Freshers’ Fortnight Motivation. by letting me dedicate a whole year to and extends into your careers; culmi- Increasing our online presence with the VOTING OPENS VOTING CLOSES BIG CAST YOUR 8 MARCH 15 MARCH ELECTIONS 12:00 12:00 2013 VOTE NOW imperialcollegeunion.org/elections The RCSU President controls a budget of over £20,000, organising a range of academic, social, careers and pastoral events representing the interests of over 4,000 students. They liaise with senior members of staff and sit on various College and Union committees. These include the Faculty of Natural Sciences Teaching Committee, Representation and Welfare Board, Union Council and RCSU PRESIDENT Union Executive. They manage their committee and the departmental societies that sit within the Natural Sciences. The President is also responsible for managing and developing strong bonds with sponsors, maintaining ties with the RCSA and ultimately responsible for the work of the executive committee.

Forhad Matin

A greater RCSU with a greater level of student participation.

A more transparent and democratic RCSU. No photo submitted An RCSU that propels students to distinguish themselves nationally and internationally.

Plabon Saha

Hello! I am Plabon, a second year • Subsidise RCSU events a lot more • Build the RCSU brand by off er- thorough understanding of the union mathematician and I’m running for by securing more sponsorship. ing more Regalia in our online shop and the various academic and welfare RCSU President this year. If elected, I • Shake up the Buddy system by alongside hoodies and ties. issues that arise in the life of an Impe- would: working alongside the DPW and the • Arrange careers talks that focus on rial student. So, I urge you to vote for • Bring back more of the traditions DPE. I will further promote the Bud- an academic career. someone with the experience and the of RCSU through mascotry, chanting dy system by off ering various incen- • Run a weekly lunchtime drop-in in know-how to get the job done and get the Kangela at bar nights and provide tives such as “family tickets” to RCSU the RCSU offi ce so students can come the job done well. Vote Plabon. more opportunities to take a ride on events. speak to me about any issues they Jezebel. • Look to off er more events during want or even let me know other events • Will run at least six Bar Nights in freshers fortnight that are popular they want. the next academic year with various with other faculty unions such as the Furthermore, I am the current discounts towards members. medics’ orienteering. RCSU Treasurer which has given me a

CGCU is by far the biggest faculty and the President is ultimately responsible for about 6000 students. The President must ensure the large Executive Committee is run smoothly. They oversee all of the different subsections of the committee including events, industrial relations, alumni relations, ﬁ nance, engineering representation and sport. This means that the President will be CGCU PRESIDENT heavily involved with all aspects of the Constituent Union from securing and managing relationships with sponsors and companies, arranging contractual agreements for events, budgeting and maintaining a strong relationship with the College, Union and alumni. Basically, they shouldn’t be a massive spanner.

Lejon Chua

Being responsible for the lives of 30 was empower the people around with all wisdom and verve to make bold yet sive/unnecessary publicity on them. what I was entrusted to do. As a for- available resources. practical improvements that would en- 2) Strike a strategic balance between mer armoured-infantry platoon com- As Student Trustee, I sit on the high- hance every engineering student’s uni- face-to-face/fi eld and email publicity mander, I off er you something more est body of the Union, upholding the versity experience and not just address to gain and maintain student interest, reliable and concrete than just prom- integrity of key operatives and chart- partisan interests. rather than just being informative. ised improvements - my track record ing directions to spur positive develop- If elected, I will endeavor to fulfi ll the 3) Increase the number of CGCU in prudent leadership and management ments for the entire student body. h is following: sub-committee positions; an impetus as well as valuable experiences in large- stint has provided me valuable insight 1) Implement a portal to: for greater engagement between com- scale event organization and bringing to capitalize on the upcoming major • Receive and respond readily to your mittee and students. out the best in forged relationships. changes, to take the CGCU to greater concerns. Count on the proven track record, Yet undergirding all this is a heart that heights. • Display all low reception/attendance count on tangible improvements, vote listens, cares and desires to impact and Right now, it needs a leader with the events and opportunities to avoid exces- Lejon. Johan Rekers

h e role of the CGCU President is cluding summer retakes and language students who are most of risk of al- their departments or the state of the to provide students in the faculty of courses, and have tried my utmost to ienation, such as MSc/PhD students, CGCU. engineering with the best possible ac- involve myself in the activities of the international students and freshers. • Work with staff to provide ademic and social experience, whilst union and the college. • Aim to maintain current students with degree schedules that upholding the strong traditions of the partnerships and forge new relation- allow them to study their degree to the Guilds. A natural leader, confi dent If elected I will endeavour to: ships with industry, to give all stu- best of their ability, whilst also giving and comfortable in almost any envi- • Improve student/staff rela- dents the opportunity to network with them the opportunity to participate in ronment, I will look to put my skills to tions so that your degree works for alumnus and prospective employers. the many clubs and societies off ered use for the benefi ts of engineering stu- you as well as for your lecturers. • Improve student representa- by the union and by the CGCU. dents at Imperial. In my 2 years here, • Organize events which al- tion, and ensure that students are kept l I have experienced numerous situa- low for greater interdepartmental informed by staff on any major devel- I believe in working together with tions, both positive and negative, in- cohesion; particularly for groups of opments that concern their courses, students, staff FRIDAY 08 MARCH 27

Business Editor: Deepka Rana [email protected] BUSINESS The Next Adventure: The Start-up Life Natasha Hodgson presents the beneﬁ ts of an alternative career path

he Next Adventure: Why established (or indeed, will never h e Start-Up Life Might be), it’s an amazing opportunity for Be For You. a graduate to stretch their skills and TIt’s a strange thing, the talents across a lot of diff erent areas. transition from univer- Upon arriving, every member of the sity to the world beyond. For people team is expected to help steer the used to setting their own schedules, company to success – the likelihood to blazing a bit of a trail, to grabbing of you photocopying and making tea the talented people around them to for six months is pretty unlikely. Of embark on a creative project, it can course, such an prospect won’t be feel like a bit like h em Days Are End- for everyone, but for those hungry to ing. It’s time to settle down, get a Real learn, to develop and to help some- Job, and accept the inevitability of the thing they believe in grow, it’s diffi cult corporate grind. Helpful, that’s abso- to see why they’d want to choose any lutely untrue. other path. Without old fashioned With the current boom in creative ideas or rules and regulations passed and tech startups, it’s a very exciting down through generations of jargon, time for young, ambitious graduates. these start-ups are lean, technologi- Inspiring, small and innovative com- cally aware and determined not to fall panies are popping up all over the into the kind of patterns that make UK, and as their ideas come to frui- h e Working Day famously unattrac- tion, they are looking increasingly to tive. spirited graduates to join their teams So how do eminently talented graduates and students make themselves attractive to these potential employers? To be honest, it’s pretty straight- forward: prove that you are someone who does things. From making short ...it’s a very fi lms with your friends to setting up a debating society, from organis- exciting time ing a weekly music event to creating a hangover sandwich stall – these employers want solid evidence that for young, you’re as self-starting as they are. Getting involved with the upcoming ambitious Venture Catalyst Challenge – a competition for Imperial students to turn graduates a great tech idea into a commercial success - is a fantastic way to stretch your entrepreneur- ial wings, and it’s worthwhile checking out sites and create the super- such as enternships. powers of tomorrow. com, who specialise in So what’s the diff er- connecting talented ence between work- graduates with entre- ing for a startup and preneurial startups a larger, more estab- and SME’s. lished company? As you count down For a start, it’s about your university days, culture. In a company don’t for a second think where hierarchy, roles that the adventure has to and skillsets have stop here. If you know that yet to be you don’t belong in a cubicle, firmly or in a suit, feel free to join those who feel ” the same.

DON’T WASTE THIS SPACE! WRITE FOR FELIX Email: [email protected] VARSITY PULLOUT ICVS ICSM JPR WILLIAMS MATCH Head to Head: The Captains’ Interviews

Jack Flanagan 1ST Team Captain them in general? Marc Macmillan1ST Team Captain know how demoralising it can be. On the other hand they’ve scored a num- It looks like they are competing well in ber of tries against strong opposition How is your season going? Have you their league and have rebuilt a strong so I imagine they’ll be strong in attack. had any memorable moments? squad following their struggles last How is your season going? Have season. you had any memorable mo- What are your memories of Varsity We have had a very enjoyable season ments? from previous years? so far and have relished in the oppor- What are your memories of Varsity tunity of playing Prem B level compet- from the previous years? IMRFC have had a strong season, as No other day showcases the medic ing with some of the best rugby univer- the season has progressed we’ve con- spirit so well. Nothing beats support- sities in the country. I have only been to one last year and tinued to improve. Memorable mo- ing ICSM in the hockey and other One memorable moment would be that resulted in a 31-0 victory for IC... ments would be strong wins in our sports at Harlington during the day, travelling to Brighton – one of our big- need I say more? league, playing in some of the worst running out in the cup match in the gest promotion rivals from last season conditions known to man, a great tour evening and the epic Reynolds night – and smashing them. What is your JPR Williams Cup pre- to Nottingham and the odd bit of de- afterwards. As the medic underdog diction? Overall Varsity winner? bauchery off the pitch. it’s unifying going against the Imperial Why do you play rugby? If you were hoards. to play another sport, what would it I feel as though the rugby contest will Why do you play rugby? If you were be? be tight and a closer outcome than last to play another sport, what would it What is your JPR Williams Cup pre- year, however I have ultimate faith in be? diction? Overall Varsity winner? I enjoy the sense of camaraderie and IC dominating. Once again I believe physicality of the game – Rugby is that IC will be victorious across the Man is caged by the confi nes of soci- It’ll be a close one. IMRFC are look- unique in this aspect. I also like the an- board. ety, culture and education. Rugby is ing forward to correcting last year’s ticipation of knowing that every week just an outlet. If I didn’t play rugby I’d wrongs, so it should be a good game a new battle will be had on a Wednes- Name a player you expect to stand- be in prison. I defi nitely wouldn’t join against h e Ginger and his merry day afternoon. out at Varsity? Boat Club. men. Water polo because it has a similar Overall I think this year probably IC ethos to rugby in terms of the physical- h ere will be standout performances What do you think of the opposi- (as long as Badminton continues to be ity and technical skill element that is throughout the squad as everyone tion’s season and how do you see played at Varsity). required under constant pressure and steps up their game, however watch them in general? fi tness demands. out for the serious gas out wide and the Name a player you expect to stand- crunching hits up front. Once again It seems they’ve had a very tough sea- out at Varsity? What do you think of the opposi- looking forward to seeing Spiderpig’s son, much like ours last year. I don’t tion’s season and how do you see ‘interesting’ kicking tekkers. envy them losing every game as I Anyone wearing a phoenix.

11. 11. Hertog Nzekwue 7. 7. Flanagan Godfrey (C) 1. 1. Spittle McGeogh 9. 4. 4. 9. Durkin O’Connell Ley Greaves Barry 15. 10. 10. 8. 2. 2. 8. 15. Cowan Scarborough Cox Hardisty Kyle Brunkhorst Nightingale Short 12. 5. 5. 12. Clough Lane Chavas Morris 3. 3. 13. 13. L’Bour Cole MacMillan Floyd 6. 6. (C) Ufodiama Atkar

14. 14. Fitzpatrick Sharples RUGBY 1ST TEAM 2ND TEAM

1. Toby Spittle 1. Vernon Alex Johnston Joe James 2. Rob Kyle (VC) McGeoch Jon Stancombe Jag Gill 3. Pierre L’Bour 2. Ollie Brunk- Will Griffi ths Ben McKee 4. Mike O’Connell horst Dave Jones Joe Heylen 5. Tom Chavas 3. Simon Cole Will Jackson (C) Conor Walsh 6. Olisa Ufodiama 4. Robbie Ed Vaughan Tom Howe 7. Jack Ley Greaves Aneesh Misra Mathew Poynton Flanagan (C) 5. James Morris Matt Webb Sean McKeon 8. Jon Hardisty 6. Raj Atkar George Birchenough Hugh Crawford- 9. Ed Durkin 7. Scott Godfrey Eifi on Foster Smith 10. James Cox 8. Craig Nightin- Vaz Prusa Jack Faulkner 11. Syarif Hertog gale Ciro Monti Alex Scarborough 12. George Lane 9. Andy Barry Ali Jones Anthony Rayner 13. Mike Floyd 10. Alex Luke James Alexz Scott 14. Nathan Scarborough Freddie White Tom Martin Fitzpatrick 11. Chidi Nzekwue Rob Dowden Jack Spinner 15. Robbie Cowan 12. Ollie Clough Octavian Fosca Hugh Ford 13. Marc MacMil- Stefan Grossfurthner Jack Whitpy lan Lucas Bonin 16. Jon Lineham 14. James Sharples Bami Falana 17. Tom Hobson 15. Oscar Short Chris Fernando 18.. Tom Hedly Hugh MacKinnon 19. Scott Fraser 16. Mohammed 3RD TEAM 20. Oli Benton Shaath 17. Greg Warren Dave Jones James Orr 18. James Bloomer Jonny Barrow Dan Campioni- 19. Adrian Hugh MacKinnon Norman McGrath Henry Legge Jeeva Mahalingam 20. Vaki Antoniou Lukas Michalitsch (C) Conrad Harrison 21. Kalon Hewage Richard Fish Jonny Taylor 3rd Team Captain Harry Hetherton Avnish Khilosia Lukas Mischalitsch Edoardo Cavallazzi Mark Rezk Luke Armitage Laurence Pallant Alex Leonard Kiran Patel Alex Munster Henry Clancy h e season for Imperial College Jean Casademont Sam Kim 3s has been chequered so far. h ey Tom Brick Sam Harrison had unlucky defeats and hard fought Ben Trubshaw Alex Kerr wins but in general the quality of Harry Humphreys Anish Koneru our rugby increased as we grew to- Ben Gaitskell Kash Rahman gether as a team. Compared to pre- Adrian Grütter Tom Mackinnon vious years we have more confi dent Tim Harrington Freddie Pimm players on key positions. Who these Toby Gann players are has yet to be decided as we didn’t have the same 15 in two 2nd Team Captain consecutive games this year. Anyway Oliver Brunckhorst the win against St. George’s a few weeks ago, who defeated the Medic 3rd XV recently, gives us confi dence h e 2s have had a strong season by any that we will walk away with a win on standards. Despite having a weak start the 13th. to the season which meant promotion from our league is diffi cult to achieve 2nd Team Captain Will Jackson from now the team has built into a very solid squad. A good fresher intake and some commitment to training has h is season Imperial College 2nd meant that this 2s side is the strongest XV have been the most unpredict- side the 2s have had in a few years. able team in their league. h ere is Having not lost a game since mid no doubt that on their day they are November and fi nding ourselves now more threatening than a honeybadger, in the semi fi nal of the BUCS cup the but throughout the season they have 2s go into varsity very strongly. I have had the mercurial temperament of no doubt in our ability to be able to win a pre-pubescent teen. Flanker Vaz varsity and that is certainly the target Prusa is an exceptional ball-snaffl er we have set ourselves this season. and slow-witted forward Alex John- ston has been carrying reliably. Born Henry Clancy 3rd Team Captain and bred in the Valleys, centre Luke James’ English has been improving all year and now understands commands Once again we are approaching the day such as ‘run’, ‘pass’ and ‘tackle’. Ladies of Varsity, and the mighty 3s are more man Aneesh Misra claims to have than up for it. A lot has happened since never needed any medical attention that day (that never happened) last year: in his life, so is dismissive of the need many new players have come in, with a for a ‘Medical School’. Having eaten high number of fi rst years pulling on the more than his fair share of turkey, the jersey. Whether among diffi culties with club-supplied Weightwatchers mem- teams putting full squads out left us not bership has served fl y-half Jones well playing much rugby for far too long, but and his eight abdominal muscles have we’ve come fl ying out of the traps and never been so chiseled. After wiping are getting back in to the swing of things the fl oor with the Medics last year, the well. After a disappointing game last year, pressure is on Imperial College to re- the boys are pumped and we’re gonna peat the scoreline. take this to them like never before. Hockey

ICHC VS ICSM 2ND Team Captain 2ND Team Captain Jacky Amiry 1ST Team Captain 1ST TEAM Josh Freemont Alastair Brown

h e season began with a new look Anthony Vaquero(C) Preth De Silva h e Men’s 2s Season has been fi lled We have had a largely successful sea- squad and after a string of a few com- Graham Hunt (VC) Jonny Baker with some truly great performances. son so far, being upper mid table in fortable wins we stumbled before the Sam Alton Matt Baldry On our day we have beaten teams 3 our LUSL and BUCS leagues. Our Xmas break drawing a couple of cru- Jonny Jones Alex Freethy leagues above our own, and only tough major success, though, has been in cial games. We’re still in the hunt for Tycho Sikkenk Matt Baker luck combined with a slight lack of con- the LUSL Cup where we beat Impe- promotion in the BUCS league and Gilles Stassen Mrig Sinha sistency have left us off the top spot of rial College 3s in the Quarter Finals to fi nd ourselves in the LUSL Cup Semi- Tris Edwards Amish Patel the league. Coming into Varsity we are make it to a semi-fi nal against London 1ST Team Captain fi nal against IC, which will undoubt- Jack Rawson Charlie Rookes on a strong winning run (having recent- School of Economics. Players to look Anthony Vaquero edly be a feisty ‘warm up’. After Varsity Tom Bence Jon Goodship ly beaten the BUCS league leaders) and out for include: we will defend our title in the United Jay Roshen James Arthur with many of last year’s victorious team Joe Barker, a solid traditional defen- Hospitals tournament. Although we Christoph Belke Stuart Taylor members still in the squad we are con- sive midfi eld player who loves putting After a high fresher intake into the fi rst have several Freshers making their Richard Pollock Ed Norman fi dent that we have the ability to come in a big tackle team, there were a lot of new faces and Varsity debut, they are as eager as James Meacher John Chetwood away with the win. Karl Elmqvist, a handy right midfi eld- competition for positions was high. anyone to get stuck into IC and I can’t Eddie Powell Players to watch are: Ben Bell, striker er fresher who’s good on the ball going Despite having very skillful players, wait to unleash them! I fi rmly believe Lars Mejnertsen and top goalscorer for this Season; Ja- forward and has impressed for the 2s the season started slowly with a few we can go one better than the draw Vish Dhutia cob Farrant, left midfi eld and scorer of a this season. disappointing losses - the diffi culty of last year and capture that elusive Var- Edward Lacey sublime goal in last years match; Jonny Mustafa Franka, a solid right back so many new players changing posi- sity win. After all, our Club Captain Clowes, Goalkeeper supreme in his who’s quick and dependable. tions and teams becoming apparent. known far and wide as just ‘h e Cher- 4th Varsity; Freddie, Right Back with However, after the team settled down, ub’ has promised to spend everything a fi erce hit and Mickey Pettit power and with some match experience and in his bank account if we get the win! house in the centre of the fi eld. valuable training sessions under our belts, the wins started to come. h e Rosie Belcher1ST Team Captain second half of the season has seen us almost undefeated, making the semifi - nals of both the BUCS and LUSL cups A dynamic forward line, a hard-work- with some very impressive victories, ing midfi eld and a strong defence… it and high hopes of beating the medics has all come together this season! We (pre-Varsity!) in the LUSL cup to reach have faced tough opposition in our the fi nal! Varsity will, as always, be a new LUSL league (including IC) and fi erce and competitive game; but with have surpassed all expectations. In the team now on top form and playing BUCS we are heading for promotion some fantastic hockey, we are all geared with a goal diff erence that shadows all up for the pinnacle of the season and I the competition. A great selection of have no doubt we will win Varsity this new players, teamed with our already year - a testament to the great players strong core has led to our goal-scor- we have here, and their hard work and ing abilities sky-rocketing (both on commitment to the team. and off the pitch!!). We are defi nitely hoping to sneak a few whoppers past Gigi Fateh 1ST Team Captain ICHC VS ICSM the IC defence! As the under-dogs we matched IC with a 1-1 draw ear- LADIES 1ST TEAM lier in the season, at Varsity we have So far this season, the Ladies 1’s have Jess Purcell (GK) Jess Mistry (GK) everything to play for and nothing to relished the new challenges as a result Celia Hayes Harriet Davidson lose!! h is is going to be our year, we’re of promotion last year. Playing against Emma Spandryzk Rosalind Marshall planning on fi nally turning the tables. some tough opposition has meant we’ve Kirsty Poore Shazza Ocansey It’s a game to watch! had to really step up; a task that we have Maria Parkes Rosie Belcher Players to watch: Alison Kent, in her been more than capable of. Sorcha Cotter Anna Hurley fi nal year at med school and fi nal var- We have been anticipating this year’s Bryony Halcrow Charlotte Read sity! She’s never missed a match and Varsity immensely, particularly after Gigi Fateh Elke Wynberg her pace up-front is enough to give having previously drawn with the med- Harriet Stevenson Charlotte Lees any defender SOB. ics already this season. Having won Hayley h ompson Alison Kent Forward team-mate Claudia Fowler- some tough games in the build-up to Kirstin Hay Claudia Fowler- Williams, new to the squad this year Varsity, the team are ready to take the Anna h omas Williams and tearing up the front line from day medics on with a vengeance, in what Julia Smith Nat Condie one is another one to keep your eye could be a close battle between the two Kathryn Leonard on! teams. 3RD Team Captain 3RD Team Captain Jack Tremlett Pete Davis 2ND Team Captain Becky Ayres 2ND Team Captain Hannah Williams h roughout the season the team has After a glorious promotion season gone from strength to strength, devel- last year in the ULU reserve league We’ve had a really great season so far Imperial Ladies 2s have had an encour- oping unrivalled skill and ability both 4 the mighty ICSM 3s were expect- and are ready and excited for our var- aging season so far. We started off with on and off the pitch. Varsity is in no ing thoroughly exciting season, in- sity clash. h e highlight of our season a very new team that has taken some doubt the biggest match the team will stead LUSL just threw us in the same was battling back from 2-0 down, in a time to gel. We have won the major- face this season. Every training ses- league again with a diff erent name. horrendous snow blizzard, to save the ity of our matches and had some real sion, every match, every bar night has Good one LUSL.... match. Hopefully we will bring some highlights such as winning 9-0 against been leading to moment we face down Jokes on ULU though, we’ve still of that fi ghting spirit to the pitch for a strong City team, who previously beat the medics and bring home a win. h e got the cup and we’re never giving it Varsity! Our 2 top goal scorers Margot us 4-0 at the start of the season. h e game will be fi erce with every man on back. and Steph are currently tying on num- team spirit and winning mentality has the pitch playing for the win. Every h ere has been the good and the ber of goals scored this season, so let’s put us in a strong position to challenge team member will stand and face the bad so far this season. h e good has see who could propel us to the win and for the top position in our BUCS league. challenge and will use every ounce of been some terrifi c champagne hock- top the goal tally at the end of the sea- Our aim is a strong fi nish to the league energy to ensure we are victorious on ey played almost every week. h e son. Other players to watch are Kylie and victory in varsity. Varsity won’t be the day. Captain Slow will be fi ring bad includes my appalling case of the who will be playing in her last varsity easy, having already faced an intense on all cylinders, Eager Beaver is eager captain’s curse in front of goal and after being in the club for 8 years, and draw against the medics before Christ- for the win and Fritzl has promised to generally every time Yash opens his our freshers Fiona and Krishna who mas. We will be taking our famous La- bring the zip ties for the post match mouth. Specifi c matches are hazy to have been invaluable in defence for us dies 2s picnics, port and cheese and will celebrations. All of these elements will remember except that time when we this season. We’re going to come out be ready to take a win for Imperial and combine to ensure the match will not beat IC 4s 6-0.... even I scored. Bring fi ghting, determined to triumph over to support the rest of Imperial College be one to miss. on Varsity. IC this year! towards another triumph in Varsity. Netball

1ST Team Captain 1ST Team Captain IC VS ICSM 2ND Team Captain 2ND Team Captain Poppy Pinnock Louise Thornhill 1ST TEAM Abi Johnston Hume Sarah Hancock Tamar Loach Binta Umar h is season has been one of highs ICSM 1s have had a fantastic season, Nancy Edge Lindsay Hennah As the winners of last year’s varsity From a disappointing season last year, and lows with a strong team form- diversity, coupled with consistency has Kirsty Roy Emma Williamson the 2s are more determined than ever culminating in our loss at Varsity, ing from an almost completely new secured us places in the LUSL cup fi nal Samantha Killick Harriet McGrath to beat the medics! We have been the ICSM 2nd team has gone from squad. By Christmas the team was on and the BUCS cup semi fi nal. h e com- Tereze Gaile Louise h ornhill very successful in both the LUSL and strength to strength this year. Our a roll leaving everyone excited for the mitment of the entire squad has really Claudette Faux Beth Nally BUCS leagues, maintaining a position performance in the LUSL league has rest of the season and the prospect shone through in our games, having only Verity Roberts Sophie Ellis in the top half of the table for both really demonstrated our skill and ver- of beating the medics come Varsity. lost 3 matches the entire season. Losing a Sophie Andrew Hannah Scanlon and are close to promotion in BUCS. satility on the court; we have beaten Injuries, shoulder operations, illness few key players last year, this season was Frances Dixon Losing one of our key players, Toni both IC 2s and IC 3s and are currently and coursework however have had met with some anticipation, however, the Semmence, to injury midway through pondering the prospect of promotion. other ideas which led to losing some team gelled quickly resulting in a great the season, was a shock but the team h e nerves for Varsity have already easy matches at the start of the 2nd dynamic. 2ND TEAM rallied to fi ll in her position and con- kicked in. h e psychological train- term, but IC 1’s are now on the up. Without being too cocky, the expecta- tinues to play great netball. Our stand ing has started, the fi tness sessions Sophie Andrew and Verity Roberts, tions for Varsity are pretty much a solid Emma Dixon Hiba Saleem Danish out player this season has been Har- have commenced and we are ready both new to the 1st team this year, win. If you’re looking for some interest- Toni Semmence/ Isabel McLuskie riet Rumgay who was bought from the to do something which the Medics are defi nitely ones to watch in the de- ing moves, keep your eye on Emma Wil- Rebecca Tyne Jen Mae Low 4s at the start of the year but has fi tted Netball Club has managed to do for fending D and with the return of our liamson for her unreal interceptions. Ella Martenson Sally Ko into the team seamlessly. as long as I can remember: beat IC. wounded soldier, Kirsty Roy, every- Lindsay Hennah and Binta Umar will be Catherine Burrows Emily Boyce h e sheer accuracy of our shooters one is hungry for the win, none more swatting away IC’s goals in defence so Abi Johnston Hume Sarah Hancox should be enough to make Imperial so than Sam Killick and Tamar Loach Harriet McGrath, Hannah Scanlon and Sarah Simmonds Megan MacKenzie quake in their trainers, let alone the for whom this will be their last var- Louise h ornhill can work the ball down Emily Rolfe Frances Dixon sprightliness of our centre court play- sity. We will certainly give the med- the court to our high precision shoot- Hannah Weekes Emily Hutchinson ers and the lightning fast hands of our ics a run for their money this year ers (Beth Nally, Sophie Ellis and Frances Beverley Tsang Sophia Butt defence. h e ICSM 2nd team are in and hopefully come away with a win. Dixon). Watch out IC, this team is on a Harriet Rumgay a better position than this time last LET’S GO IC! winning streak! year; we are ready for you IC. Players to watch: Emily Boyce (C) will scream at the top of her voice for that 3RD TEAM ball – and always get it, and Hiba Sal- Heather Piening Aiysha Puri eem Danish (GK) has arms that come Amelia Al-Qazzaz Affi e Etok out of nowhere and will do anything to Fenna Sleeswijk Visser Becky Razey stop you scoring. Laura Elliott Jessica Sharp Lucinda Sandon-Allum Nina Cooper 4TH Team Captain Eathar Shakweh Geiske Zijilstra Laura Vickers Kate McManus Kristin Goff e Olivia Chant-Tuft Katie Addy 4TH Team Captain Sophie Rae Megan h omas Margot Tirole After earning promotion to the BUCS Emily Giverson Natalie Lane South Eastern 8A League, it has been Isobel McLachlan Shade Oyewole a challenging season for ICSM 4s. We Caitlin Archer This season has been quite a good have welcomed lots of new players into one for the 4th team, which is play- the team who have all made valuable ing in LUSL. Of course, we had ups contributions over the season. Despite a and downs, as some players got in- diffi cult start, the 4s have really come to- 4TH TEAM jured. We all managed to improve gether as a team giving us some encour- our skills, from girls that were new aging results. Shooters Rosa and Chan- Grace Singh Rosa Matthews to the sport to returning netballers: dni have gone from strength to strength Cloudy Carnegie Chandni Radia one of us even got promoted to the this season and are now a formidable pair Simran Samsoy Heledd h omas 2s. Talking of promotion, depend- in the attacking third. Nat Ilenkovan has Zoe Hudson Lena von Heimendahl ing on the outcome of our next been invaluable in defence and a great Imogen Smith Laura Vickers match against LSE, we might get supporting player in centre court. Hav- Georgie Weston Anna Tennant promoted in the league! ing recently beaten Imperial College 3s, 3RD Team Captain 3RD Team Captain Margot Tirole Niki Shah We will definitively put on a fight at ICSM 4s are going into the Varsity match Heather Piening Megan Thomas Nat Ilenkovan Varsity and give our best against the knowing that it will be tough but we are Nina Vasir medics. capable of victory if we give 110%! Dina Saleh h e 3s have had a season of ups and This season had a slow start for the downs, currently 3rd in both league 3s however they picked up their tables there is defi nitely potential for game through some hard training 5TH TEAM us to move up a few spaces in the com- and this year got further in LUSL ing weeks. Two years ago the Varsity cup than ever before! Expectations Laura Bellamy Louisa Mosley match was won by 1 goal, last year it are high for Varsity- as ever in Net- Lucy Marshall Tara Vasir was lost by 2, and this year we hope ball- so expect a highly-strung close Emma Needham Hanne Ertman to come away with a win! h e third match between both 3s teams. Play- Tracy Leung Minaal Khan team lost many of its senior players ers to watch- our new freshers that Jessica Lowrie Giada Azzopardi last year, so this season we have been joined 3rd team with some great de- Ally Orrin Ayesha shajpal building new relationships and getting fensive skills. Watch out IC! Josca Schoonejans Sarah Grantham-Hill to know a whole new team – players Madina Wane Ifrah hussain to look out for are fresher shooter Iso- Amy West Helena Budarkiewicz bel and our senior Centre, Amelia. 5TH Team Captain Jade Nagitta 5TH Team Captain Jade Nagitta Sarah Grantham-Hill

Its been a good season for ICSM h e 5th team previously being a social 5s, who maintain a good position in team has grown this season by being en- both of the LUSL and BUCS league tered into the LUSL league. We started off swell as having a great intake of the year with a new team who had never freshers. Expecting a strong win played together before and some who had over IC 5s having already playing never played netball. We have improved as them once this season and winning a team and with varsity fast approaching 29-3 as well as beating IC by 30 goals our aim is simply to play our best and win. last year. JPRFOOTBALL WILLIAMS MATCH 1ST Team Captain 1ST Team Captain Matt Woodhead Jack Amiry ICUAFC VS ICSMFC Imperial 1s reach the business end of the We know Varsity will be a game of two 1ST TEAM season top of both their BUCS and LUSL halves. Unless it goes to extra time in leagues and in the LUSL cup semi-fi nal, which case it will be a game of four Henry Garner Bradley Lonergan vying to reach the fi nal for the 4th year halves, maybe penalties too. And great h eocharis Tofi s Joe Vincent running. Multiculturalism is a quintes- Odin’s raven, any game that defi es the Peter Woodhead (C) Jack Healy sential factor for the team’s success, inte- laws of mathematics like that must be Omar Amjad James Iliff grating French ‘Je ne sais quoi’, German pretty damn important. Amine Cherif Mohammed Ali Christian Nielsen Sam Horti effi ciency and Greek austerity. h e IC- We’ll have to put in 100% and try to Tom Beasley Jack Amiry UAFC 1s defence has been compared to win all the 50:50 challenges, but if we Jonathan Hill Kem Onubogu Arsenal’s Invincible Team of 2003-2004, put in 110% then by my calculations James Murphy Imran Ahmed in a recent issue of 4-4-2 magazine, whilst we’ll be going in 55:50 and so winning Alex Dale Kevin Buell Messi ruled out a move to the illustrious everything. And 60% of the time my Ahmed Cherif Uzoma Nnajiuba club due to his desire for playing time. calculations work every time. Jack Robinson Kavian Kalusaba- A return to form for Robinson and Playing in Varsity can feel as though Pete Bjorkstrand nathan Murphy ensures goals will be aplenty, you’re in a glass case of emotion, and we Marius Wedemeyer David Hillier Qamar Mustafa meanwhile Bjorkstrand himself has been may have to play ugly to win, but by the Jack Amiry struggling to miss the target. Whilst his- beard of Zeus we’ll be bringing along torically this fi xture is often something of some particularly ugly players to help a whitewash, the opposition will not be against our inevitably stiff opposition. underestimated, and a good result would At the end of the day we can only 2ND TEAM be a confi dence boost ahead of the pos- do our best and hope that our family, sible LUSL Cup Final on the 16th March. friends and lamps still love us when the 2ND Team Captain James Owen Markos Reissis fi nal whistle blows. You stay classy, Im- Alastair Brown Pete Nugent Daniel Cottam perial College. Sami Dabbagh Mustafa Franka Andy Smith Alastair Brown Will Wright 2ND Team Captain Bilal Abou Ela Calum StapleyMi- We have had a largely successful sea- Borquin chael Colwill son so far, being upper mid table in Sam h omas Ken Mawhinney Yeah, so mens rugby may be the fl agship ness of the scoreline (“we lost 5-0, but it our LUSL and BUCS leagues. Our Kyri Mavrommatis Joseph Barker event of Varsity, but for the cool, under- should’ve been a draw!”). major success, though, has been in Dom Aff ron Karl Elmqvist ground hipsters there is only one event IC Mens football 2s have had a very the LUSL Cup where we beat Impe- Will Wright (C) Michael David worth talking about: IC Mens Football 2s good season, winning 10 games in a row rial College in the Quarter Finals to Dan Moxham Bardia Barimani v Imperial Medics 2s. h e big one. h e in fi rst term. Results have been less good make it to a semi-fi nal against London Dion Benincasa Odhran Keating Apos Mourouzis Ajay Mohite game will literally be decided by who wins in second term due to the loss of some key School of Economics. Players to look Rob Maizonnier Qamar Mustafa the all important fi rst tackle, who wants players to the 1s, but the general perfor- out for include: Joe Barker, a solid Alex-Hugh Wilson Adam Green it more and which team can get it on mance levels have been a vast improve- traditional defensive midfi eld player Myles Jarvis Muhammad Najim the deck and play football. Expect some ment on previous 2s seasons. Having re- who loves putting in a big tackle, Karl Alex Dale questionable balls played in the mixer and cently beaten Medic 1s 4-1, and playing in Elmqvist, a handy right midfi elder Bilal Nasim some gambling at the back stick, because a league above the Medic 2s, we are fi rm fresher who’s good on the ball going Josh March you never know who will win the fl ick on favourites for this match. But in varsity the forward and has impressed for the 2s Jon Mitchell and get the second ball. No doubt the ref form book goes out the window, and min- this season, and fi nally Mustafa Fran- Kume Feese Vedat Ratib will be crap, linesmen will cheat and the nows Medic 2s could prove to be a poten- ka, a solid right back who’s quick and team that loses 5-0 will lament the unfair- tial banana skin. Ah, the magic of Varsity. dependable. 4TH Team Captain Milo McGrath 3RD TEAM 4TH Team Captain Varun Sudunagunta Despite a few blips along the way, the Chris Aspinall Joel Corkill season has been successful, with Impe- Oladapo Ogunbiyi Louis Peters We all know how important Varsity is rial 4s currently sitting third in the Satur- Dan Widdowson Ed Cairnes Jack Peacock Will Hancox for both sides. It’s one of the biggest day league and fourth in the Wednesday Arthur Auxenfants Adam Karlsson games of the year and one that we league, despite having played the least Oli Gaite George Isitt are defi nitely excited for. A lot of new amount of games. A strong fi nish to the Taha Butt Will Ocen players have joined this year, and have season could potentially leave us fi ghting Alex-Hugh Wilson Zubair Froogh been a real asset to the club as a whole, for the title and, with our recent form in- Max De Pauw (C) Jawaad Saleem but especially the 4s. cluding eight goals in our past two games, Mano Le Saux Oliver Kemp (C) Myles Jarvis James Gilbert 3RD Team Captain We have acquired quite a few play- it’s an exciting prospect. Varsity will be an 3RD Team Captain ers from IC this year, who came across opportunity for next year’s captain, yet to Alex Hassan Obinna Abani Ollie Kemp Max De Pauw Oscar De La Hera Alex Mcfarquhar having realised the error of their ways. be decided, to have a go at captaining the Byung Choi Maroof Ahmed We will go out there knowing that team and will be the last varsity for sever- Tristan Mckee Mike Maruthan As we all look forward to the day when Some fi ne early season form saw a new the pressure is on IC, we’ll just play al members of the team. Players to watch Indi Birdee Hisham Waziri spurious civility is thrown aside and look 3s squad take a maximum 15pts our game and get some more points include Nozomi Satake who was plucked Tom Greenwood the true ICSM/IC divide is put on from their opening 5 games in BUCS. on the board for the medics. from the 6s to help us with our recent run show, when IC’s best poster makers h is formed the basis for a strong winning See you there! and top scorer Francis Nwobu. snigger at all the ingenious and original mentality that has been present all season ways they can fi t the word ‘dick ‘ into as exemplifi ed by fi ne performances from 4TH TEAM the word medic, you have to stop and Jack Peacock (JT2Y) in both Bayswater ask, does this rivalry stem from a deep and Hammersmith. With only 3 games Sam Mason Adam Rossiter seeded jealousy and feeling of inferior- remaining the team still have everything Adam Watkin Runi Sudunagunta ity, or are we really just the pompous to play for as although the promotion of James Musgrave (C) Matthew Cann Daniel Bates self-entitled arseholes you paint us to several key players (Judas, Giles Marvis) Christopher Schon David Pereira be? I guess we’ll fi nd out. h e 3s go into and a spate of injuries threatened to derail Spencer Bennett Danny Sudbury this one on fi ne form, on for promotion the title push, some serious resolve was Adam Marks Arjun Nanavati in both leagues and with a cup run in shown to grind out results and the team Milo McGrath Joshua Khan full steam we look to bring the hurt on remains top in BUCS and in a promo- Charles Gassier Arjun Patel the 13th. To quote the late Christopher tion position in LUSL. h e 3s head into Ilyes Hadj Abderrah- Henry Gann George Latore Wallace; “Disrespect my varsity in particularly confi dent mood mane Shiraz Jamshaid click, my shit’s Imperial, fuck around boasting a 100% record in derby games Nozomi Satake Kenny Pydiah Ariff Faisal Amit Chawla and made her milkbox material”. Very this year having bested the 4s in LUSL George Bizzell Dev h akker apt I think you’ll agree, but regardless and completed the BUCS league double Yusuf Samad Harry Posner of the overall result of Varsity the true over ICSM 2s. Look for medics’ defector Francis Nwobu Pete Scott question is who is going to have the Myles Jarvis to pin his colours to the IC- Pietro Vassallo better night? UAFC mast with a telling performance! Jasper Vink SELECTED KEY CLASHES Basketball

Mens 1st Team Captain MENS BASKETBALL Mens 1st Team Captain Womens Team Captain Womens Team Captain William Valla Kaveesh Dissanayake Alexis Nelson Sarah Khawaja Centres: Centres: Peter Measham Lucas Koenig With an entirely new team this sea- After making great strides last season, h is season has defi nitely been a With a somewhat low start to the Frantisek Zak Alexander Aivazidis son, the IC Men’s team has struggled Bogdan Cozmaciuc Forwards: ICSM basketball has improved even tough one for the ICSM Girls Basket- season, Imperial Women’s Basket- to bring a regularly strong eff ort to Forwards: John Murray-Bruce further this year. Our cumulative record ball Team. We have lost a lot of our ball found themselves at the bottom the court. A very competitive divi- Chester Feldman Rishi Iyer thus far is 10 wins and 2 losses. We are dear older members this year. Many of the BUCS league with three early sion 2 in BUCS this year has set the Wouter h ijseen Rasheed Rabiu currently undefeated in LUSL, at 5-0, of whom have been in the club since losses. However, with a new coach team at risk of a potential relegation Niklas Steidl Sonke Hee and have more than doubled our win 1st year. h eir wisdom and knowledge and a boost to the morale, subsequent to division 3. h e second half of the Joey Berry Ranjodh Sanghera total in BUCS from last season, at 5-2. have been invaluable to us and we tru- victories mean that we are now 4/6 in season will be crucial for this young Ayo Adjabe Faethon Milikouris Notable wins include defeating the IC ly appreciate that. BUCS, 5/10 in LUSL and climbing. We Aurimas Pabrinkis Amit Chawla team. Bringing a lot of heart to knock- 2nds in LUSL, and demolishing LSE by But our hopes are still high with an are confi dent that this trend will con- Mavin Kashyap Mickey Cheung out competition matches, the team Guards: Mohamed Gaafar 50 points. If our strong play continues, infl ux of great new talent to our team. tinue to see us through a resounding has secured its spot in the semi-fi nals Hugo Gevret Guards: we are poised for promotion in both Many of whom have never played bas- victory in Varsity! of the BUCS Cup and aiming for a William Valla (C) Hazim Ghani BUCS and LUSL, a fi rst in club history. ketball before. And though we have second participation in a row in the h omas Deferriere Paul Choong h is would be a huge accomplishment a lot of challenges ahead of us, it can LUSL Cup fi nal. h e team currently Nathan Holland Alexandre Elkrief for us, as only two years ago we were only get better. I couldn’t be more WOMENS BASKETBALL ranks fi rst in LUSL Premier Division. Owen Mulhern Keshav Mudgal merely considered a “social club”. proud of our awesome team, we have h is year’s IC squad will bring Raul Garcia Damien Wang With our solid interior play and this and I hope it continues well on Donghao Li Kaveesh Dissanayake (C) young players who have yet to discov- sharp-shooting guards, we are looking into the future!! Antonis Kousoulis Sarah Khawaja Alexis Nelson (C) er the intense rivalry of Varsity. Veter- to set yet another milestone in March Let’s get’em BLADES!! Jacky Chen Hannah Barrett Krishna Patel an centre Peter Measham will be play- Faisal Khan – capturing the Varsity title from IC for Nina Hartwich Emma Amoafo ing his last game at Ethos and plans to Siddharth Kohli the fi rst time ever. Katya Abramova Hiba Anis stop the ICSM team with his defen- Dehydys Pimentel Sharika Anjum sive intensity and leadership. We will Irina Kostyleva Effi e Menyah be on the lookout for a power dunk Celia Perez Muna Nkere from the big man. Point-guard Hugo Alexandra Mathiolon Vidushi Pradhan Gevret has been a constant threat for Elise Chari Joanne Li Aga Florek Joanne Elkadi the opposition this year, combining Mathilde de le Bigne Miriam Zegeye quick dribbling, great court vision, Rozelle Kane Jessica and his deadly (and often controver- Joelle Mitri sial) eurostep on the off ensive end. He has mentioned having the urge to fi nally throw an alley-oop pass, and Varsity might be the perfect setting for such a play! Lacrosse

Lizzie Allen IC Captain Lacrosse George Moore ICSM Captain

My name is Lizzie Allen (Lizal), I h is season has been tough with the play attack and I am captaining the Lizal (C) George Moore (C) weather being the real opponent, but IC lacrosse side this year. I am cur- Imogen Simmonds Erika Refsum (VC) we’ve pulled through, everyone who’s rently doing my masters in phys- (VC) Joshua McGuire stepped out on the the pitch should ics studying that little known yet Gen Pugh Rebecca Singh be proud of their performances. We illustrious planet Saturn! Jon Watson Shoshanna Krasner- look forward to thwarting the squad Unfortunately, the medics are a Joe Healey Macleod of Elizabeth Joan Allen, having clev- Richard Bennett Kristen Foxwell solid side so I’ve had to think out- Anna Jordan Hannah Brooks erly stolen all of the regular goalies so side the box in order to come up Rachel Castola Frederick Cripps Lizzie “Flaps” Allen will have to se- with some tactics to defend the Daniel Campbell Gabrielle Prager lect a stand in from her vast tapestry inevitable onslaught of goals. Tak- Ali Ibrahim Abirami Murugesh- of misfi ts she calls a team. We hope ing inspiration from Saturn, we Ellie Hill Warren that their impending defeat won’t are going to have 9 players stand- Richard Bennett h omas Emms shake their confi dence so much that ing around the goal, rotating in Scott Adams William Stanger it results in them under-performing in rings, with the aim of deflecting h omas Durrands their future jobs as benefi ts sponges, Alexander Beverly any shots. Alexandra Wisen- eternal postgrads and the occasional Here are some little known facts taner waster. In all seriousness, Varsity is about Saturn: Jai Patel a great challenge to play those whom · The planet primarily consists of we normally play alongside, and this hydrogen, which becomes a non- match will be a great spectacle, as ideal liquid when the density is the teams have never been closer to above 0.01 g/cm3 equal in their skills in the fastest game · Titan, Saturn’s largest and the on two feet. Players to watch from Solar System’s second largest the illustrious ICSM team include moon, is larger than the planet the fresher Lexi and her shooting, Mercury and is the only moon in demon-in-defense Shosh and David the Solar System to retain a sub- Charchoglyan for he has just learnt stantial atmosphere the rules. SELECTED KEY CLASHES WOMEN’S RUGBY

1ST Team Captain 1ST Team Captain WOMEN’S RUGBY Yasmin Edwards Charlie Stephens LADIES 1ST TEAM Lucy Olliff Charlie Stephens Women’s rugby have had a great season and are currently undefeated in BUCS, Lana Lee Kath Fok, chasing promotion to BUCS prem. In LUSL, after narrowly loosing to RVC by Charlotte Hewitt Sammy Gottardi, one point, we can still win the league, but it will come down to a grudge match Amy Humphreys Ellie Stewart, against UCL on the last weekend of the season. As a club we are mixed with Alice Liberman Wakana Teranaka both medics and IC and so for Varsity we split the team in half and play 7’s or Heather Grant Sarah Burns, 10’s against each other. Despite the fact that we know one another very well our Juliet Lennon Sophie Boyd, competitive spirit always takes over and it is a fi ercely fought game, although the Pip Heggie Amani Chowd- medics have never lost Varsity and are looking to continue this winning streak Carolanne Vouriot hury, in 2013! Emilie Lunddahl Ran Xiong, Two of the leading try scorers for the team, Kath Fok and Sammy Gottardi, Lucy Binfi eld Mona h eodoraki are both medics and so are defi nitely ones for IC to watch out for. However the Constance Ji. IC team this year will be one of their strongest yet, with the injection of some Yasmin Edwards talented freshers such as Joules Lennon and Carolanne Vouriot this years Varsity is set to be tighter than ever. WATERPOLO

1ST Team Captain 1ST Team Captain Andeas Thomik Nick Von Guionneau

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far h e start of the 2012 season heralded away, the medics won a Varsity water a new era for ICSM Water Polo. Inter- polo game. Or so they say. No one in national semi-professionals and home living memory can remember a time grown GB talent fl ocked to us like ran- where Imperial College water polo did dy freshers racing to the free condom not completely and utterly defeat the stash in the healthcare centre. Add medics at a Varsity match. them to the players we’ve been coach- h at’s not to say we don’t like the ing for up to six years and you get a medics. Joining forces, Imperial water force so strong that our fans say watch- polo got further than ever this BUCS ing us play is like watching Japanese season, dwarfi ng even the highest sumo wrestlers fi ght toddlers in a play- hopes, the maddest dreams. But for pen- you know who’ll come out on top. just one hour on this Wednesday 13th A sudden bout of TB in southwest of March, these good friends will be- London struck down many of our play- come our worst enemies. No other ers and helped IC to a narrow victory in match, no matter how important, has our LUSL fi xture. We’ve got bad news the intensity of a game against the for IC though: we cured TB and we are Medics. Trunks will be pulled, people back, hungry for blood. will be drowned and goal-nets will get Ones to watch: T. Badenoch- if his stretched until the very last second of beard doesn’t drown him, he’ll drown the last quarter. you. K. Khan- don’t mess with her, And when waves of the swimming Andy won’t like it. D. Mitakos- (not so pool have settled again and everyone secret anymore) weapon vs IC ladies- is good friends once more, the medics he’ll charm the speedos off you. M. will not have written history. Hall- has a great bod. Hopefully. WATERPOLO 1ST TEAM Lillan Agerup T. Badenoch Alex Charleson P. Dimitrijevic Adinda De Wit M. Hall Romylos Jackson K. Ibrahim Daryl Khoo K. Khan Daniele Nerini A. Koneru Jen Wei Niam M. Leahy Vincent Pachot D. Mitakos Alex Simpson A. Mirabile Andreas h omik I. Moraitis Frances Turrel A. Patel Stewart Wharton B. Sanders Marco Zampino T. Seers H. Stuart-Smith S. West C. Wood N. von Guionneau D. Xylas Come and see ICU Musical Theatre’s production Wednesday – Saturday of Parade! http://on.fb.me/XTRvGb March 13-16 at 19:30 Union Concert Hall 38 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Science Editors: Philip Kent, SCIENCE Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett [email protected]

What happens when we tell stories about science?

Sarah Byrne Science Writer was supposed to be a counterpoint to was well worth the eff ort of listening one story, more than one viewpoint: up to questions, things started to get the ‘story’ we tell ourselves about how t o , actually having some of the sticking to one traditional narrative is more philosophical. Some scientists science is pure and rarifi ed. h ere was most profound in- not enough. in the audience might have been start- What does happen when we tell sto- maybe a bit of a lack of self-awareness sights. Stories, he Aifric Campbell, novelist, ex-banker ing to get uncomfortable at this point, ries about science? h at was the ques- here; does anyone really believe said, are essential. and creative writing lecturer at Impe- with the tendency to equate science tion the panel of academics attempted that scientists are anything h ey’re the way rial, showed us how storytelling was with stories, and it was a relief when to answer at the LSE/Imperial Literary but human? Could this itself we make sense done, with a three-decade-spanning, someone raised the point that must Festival event last Wednesday even- be a ‘story’ that smug hu- of the second-person present-tense narra- have been on many people’s minds. ing. manities types tell them- tive about the emergence of complex Once we start talking about truth as h e aims described at the begin- selves? Where is the mathematics in fi nance. h e moral of narrative, scientifi c fi ndings as stories ning were both ambitious and a bit evidence that it’s com- the story was the way the language/ we tell ourselves, how far does that vague. We were going to examine the true? plex reality culture divide between scientists and take us down the road of postmodern- relationship between science and nar- Next up, Richard around us. non-scientists hampers communica- ism? Don’t we end up in the dubious rative, and see science escaping from Bronk from LSE’s h ey’re like tion and understanding, and the very position of arguing that truth is rela- the lab into the ‘real’ world, where we European Institute lanterns il- bad outcomes this can lead to. tive, science is only one way of view- would examine whether its ‘state’ was was not the most luminating Finally Imperial’s professor of sur- ing the world and no more or less valid ‘altered’. What actually happened was charismatic or the truth, gery Roger Kneebone made everyone than any other opinion or story? that each panellist simply told a story engaging speak- but like laugh with his misadventures in sci- Answering that was left to a fi nal of their own, giving a diff erent per- er. Reading real lan- ence engagement, specifi cally his con- bit of stealth-eloquence from Richard spective on science and technology, from notes, he terns they troversial strategy of staging drama- Bronk. Quoting Wordsworth he de- followed by a more general discussion. sounded more only show tized medical emergencies without scribed how we ‘half-create’ the world: Greg Artus, Imperial philosophy like he was us a limited the audience’s knowledge. h e key that there is objective truth, but there and ethics lecturer, recounted the ac- reciting area at a time. message here seemed to be the impor- are also stories, and together, insepa- tivities of Annie Ducan, the infamous an es- To see the tance of emotional engagement in sci- rable, they make up our understand- forensic chemist jailed for falsifying say than full picture, ence communication, but also how it ing of reality. And on that point, both vast amounts of evidence. h is exam- telling a you need can be a double-edged sword. scientists and philosophers can prob- ple of a corrupt and criminal scientist story. But he more than Once the discussion was opened ably agree. Graphene: Ready to revolutionise solar power icfo.eu Amanda Diez Science Writer pected results could have an impact equivalent to the development of plas- tics in the 20th century. We have been reliably informed that Yes, that’s right. You might have heard So how does this conversion of light this funky image is science-related of graphene already. h is Christmas into electricity work? the government invested £22 million Conventionally semiconductors into the so dubbed ‘super-material’. such as silicon are used. h ey have Imperial College London received the property of conducting electricity £4.5 million, which, distributed be- neither brilliantly nor poorly. Some- tween 3 research projects, hopes to how this mediocrity makes them ab- contribute to the international quest solutely great. h e how is as follows: for graphene technologies. electrons cannot be accelerated by an ing around the material when sud- deed). h is means more energy from lent material, as we all already knew. Graphene has astonished scientists electric fi eld (and hence conduct elec- denly a photon (an energy packet of the radiation is converted into elec- around the world with its fantastic tricity) because in order to do so they light) hits them on the head much like tricity, making it an absolutely excel- DOI: 10.1038/nphys2564 electrical conductivity and mechani- would have to enter forbidden energy an intruding asteroid. Due to a much cal properties. Soon after its discov- levels of the material. more celestial coincidence than New- ery in 2004 (for which the researchers ton’s apple they are suddenly (if the Be as cool as Neil deGrasse Tyson: won the 2010 Noble Prize in Physics) energy packet is large enough) put in a people started saying that it would (high and allowed) energy state. Since write for Science! shake the silicon empire to pieces and An impact most high energy states are empty and bring about a new technological era. free to access they can now accelerate Graphene seems to have much more as much as they want. Due to the po- Get in touch, be put on our mailing list, and we’ll to say. equivalent to tential gradient created by the diff er- Last week a paper published in Na- ent materials of the cell, the electrons send you weekly bursts of exciting science stories, ture Physics attributes another fan- actually do want to accelerate and nat- tastic property to graphene: it can plastic devel- urally do so, thus creating a current. ready for you to write up and get printed in Felix. effi ciently convert light into electric- All this explanation was actually ity. h e research, undertaken by h e opment in the useless and just for fun because gra- [email protected] Institute of Photonic Sciences of Bar- phene is not a semiconductor. h e celona (www.icfo.eu) is indeed highly message to take home however is that exciting. 20th century if electrons are put into a higher en- NNeede more science? Follow us on Why? “ ergy state they relax back to a lower FaFacebook,c where we’ll post up excit- Current solar cells are expensive to state, releasing heat (which is useless produce and not that effi cient. Eff orts However, if by some means they and also a nuisance). Hence, a lot of iningg stories to keep your cravings to make them out of other materials reach the empty energy levels above the high-energy radiation is lost into ssatisfiat ed. have not quite culminated yet. h e the forbidden region they are free. heat making it all very ineffi cient. In incorporation of graphene into the Free to move, accelerate, conduct graphene, when the electrons relax, fi eld brings new hopes and possibili- electricity or whatever else you want. they give that energy to other elec- Facebook ties. Last week Spanish newspaper La How can they achieve this? Light. En- trons which can then also conduct fafacebook.com/Felixsciencec Vanguardia published that the unex- lightenment. h e electrons” are danc- electricity (they are very generous in-

40 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Comment Editors: George Barnett, COMMENT Navid Nabijou, James Simpson [email protected] In Search of Inspiration Most people work so that they can live, but a lucky few live so that they can work. All you need is inspiration, says Saskia Verhagen

omplacency is a cruel mistress. She lures you in Needs more red with a sense of comfort: C that failing an exam, or not getting the degree you wanted, or that mediocrity itself might just be… fi ne. h at you’ll survive, and see tomorrow, and the next day – and nothing will really change. And if nothing changes, there’s nothing to be afraid of. h ose ensnared in her trap will drift Saskia Verhagen with the tide, not having to think, or im- agining what on earth it might be that could bring life to the days they spend breathing the air, walking the streets, eating their dinner, sleeping dreamlessly through the night. h e transition from university to a career is a terrifying prospect – one which might drive some into a PhD they never really wanted to do, or a job at a company inspiring as much excitement as that dubious lump of cheese which gathers mould at the back of your fridge. Who are you, what do you want, where are you going: perhaps the most diffi cult part of this is extracting yourself from the relative comfort and familiarity of someone else’s idea of who you should be. h e goal isn’t money, family or fame: these are surely but by-products of a fulfi lling life, not aims in themselves. For those in whom the aims and the by- products have been confused lies ahead a mid-life crisis of epic proportions. Wouldn’t it be nice to get it right the fi rst time around, or at least try to? From a personal point of view, the missing elements are fi rstly the time and scenario to actually think on these questions, and secondly: inspiration. h e type of inspiration I’m talking about isn’t laying in wait at a careers fair – an event it was imperative that I fi nd out. Paris Devoted utterly to his art, with no room What she, and the others mentioned, where people tell you how much you Is Burning is a documentary about the for traditional romance, or furniture, a have in common is an uncompromis- will love working at their corporation, gay and transgender community in New kitchen or a bathroom, he inhabits an ing, unwavering belief that their vision trying to rouse in you that potent desire York City during the 1980s. It is an un- artistic niche unique to himself – now is one worth portraying, and continue to to mindlessly commit and follow. What bridled celebration of ‘realness’. h is was aged 83, there is no one to fi ll his shoes, drive it forward for as long as they can do these people know about you? About a community of originals, people who and there never will be. He dedicated his breathe and dream. h is, in my eyes, is your aspirations? About love? Whilst understood that fear is merely an obsta- life to observing and documenting the the hallmark of not only an artist, but a they bleat endlessly about how fast your cle to living, people with equal measures cultural evolution of generations: from life well lived. career will advance and how steep the of pure charisma and crippling vulner- the fl ower children in the Sheep Mead- Inspiration is a glimpse of a connec- income curve is (wearing some descrip- ability. h is wasn’t a documentary about ows of Central Park in the 1960s to the tion that comes from within you, and tion of power-suit – gross), for some it tragedy – though certainly tragedy sartorial butterfl ies of fashion week and bridges to the world outside of your The type of all just seems unconvincing, and wrong. played its part – this was about a group Anna Wintour, who says, ‘We all get imagination. Finding it, and more than You know you’re displaced when you’re of people who would suff er willingly for dressed for Bill.’ that, hearing it and acting upon it prom- inspiration I’m skulking around tables, side-eyeing stale their right to be themselves and do what Diana Vreeland (pictured), one of ises both a most frightening prospect sweets and plastic pens, thinking, there it was they loved, whilst dreaming of a fashion’s most formidable and notori- and a most bountiful reward. h e peo- must be more to life than this. Surely brighter tomorrow. ous mavericks, was the fashion editor ple in these three short fi lms are infused talking about one shouldn’t need a career to be ‘sold’ Documentaries should document of Harper’s Bazaar from 1936-62, pow- with inspiration; their careers and their to you – it should be glaringly obvious, a growth and some kind of signifi cant erhouse editor-in-chief at Vogue from lives’ work were fulfi lling to an extent calling, a pleasure. and meaningful contribution: whether ‘63-71 and consultant to New York’s that right now is a distant dream to me. I isn’t laying in h e time and scenario remain elusive in a single life, or a generation. Bill Cun- Costume Institute at the Metropolitan don’t have a destination yet, but aimless to me. However, a few weeks ago I re- ningham, the legendarily understated Museum of Art. She is immortalised in goal-seeking is not an option either. I’m wait at a ceived an invitation to a party themed street style and society fashion pho- h e Eye Has To Travel, a glorious patch- convinced there’s something that can ‘Paris is Burning’ – I had no idea what tographer for the New York Times was work of twentieth-century history and ignite even this most weary, disaff ected this was in reference to and being some- fi lmed for Bill Cunningham New York, culture sewn together with the silken soul. Laurels were meant to be worn as a “careers” fair. one who is but rarely seen underdressed, akin to a poem composed in his honour. thread of one remarkable woman’s life. crown, not to be rested upon. FRIDAY 08 MARCH 41

Comment Editors: George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson COMMENT [email protected] Death of a Halls of Residence Students don’t mind sharing a room if it means they can live close to campus: College should listen to what students want.

his term there has been water, left on heating/appliances and week after week of iron repeatedly replacing our manicured ritating campus news. It Queen’s turf. We want to shun our T seems to just keep com- loveable, benevolent aunt of a building. ing: fi rst Acton, then the Garden Hall is charm incarnate; al- murmurs of a potential shut down of though this is not in itself a reason to the Translation Studies Unit, and now keep a building, there is always a cer- Garden Hall. I suspect these are clever tain need for aesthetic pleasures. Not tactics by College, releasing the sup- many student halls are a Grade II listed posed solution before the proposed building and have patterned, dreamy closure, in dribs and drabs as term and ceilings or a wooden lounge. All of this ‘Barbara A. tiredness ensues. Understandably any gives a certain je ne sais quoi; it is our innovative institution must cut at the eccentric aunt amongst the Prince’s Pollock’ deadwood; but this is hacking away at Gardens halls. She is after all what the green branches. students want, as evidenced by the Garden Hall is the place known for romanticism linked to the campuses three students bunking to a room; it of Oxbridge, Durham and St. An- ought to deliberately suff er without cies and research but cannot even keep is no biggie, and £70 a room for South drews. For goodness’ sake, if we need proper fi xtures, but we should have their own heating in check. Kensington is not half bad. After all, more rooms, why not just buy another some realism. But no, I forgot: we at A person or an institution must be such options in current times are an building somewhere nearby and keep Imperial College London do not want judged by its actions. Imperial Col- £70 a room increasing economic reality for many. our auntie. But of course I forget: it ap- to give luxuries for the few who have lege’s actions appear to point towards h is hall helps provide an opportunity pears this is not for Imperial College to bunk it out in shared rooms. No, we a lack of commitment towards provid- for students from a range of socio-eco- London; we prefer sterile, distant, So- don’t want to have the slight treats our ing a range of doorstep accommoda- for South nomic backgrounds. Garden Hall pro- viet spring-ups like Orient House. eccentric aunt gives us. tion, keeping academia broad (at least vides a foot in the doorway for a few of Garden consistently tops satisfaction I believe that Garden Halls will go. linguistically) and keeping with energy the masses to get in. Why else bother and demand – never an empty room Just like the majority of changes across standards. All of this is laughable at a Kensington is touring our state-schooled children – and besides that, it fulfi ls all the cri- campus, much of the student body ap- world leading institution, which deigns around the innards of our education teria in Imperial College’s accommo- pear oblivious; self-absorbed and pre- to compete with Oxbridge and the Ivy not half bad system, if not to provide them with dation strategy. h ese shared rooms occupied with deadlines, holidays and League. I may be wrong with this ar- such tempting carrots later on? In fact, right by our lecture halls give a loose chipped nail woes. Without art stu- ticle; perhaps there are better replace- it is plain darn cruel dangling this hid- sense of cohesion, student feel and cre- dents, this university lacks the words ments being devised which take social ... and an in- den world in front of their noses and ate a campus feeling. Although many to keep the balance in check. Our pre- mobility into account, but they do not making the getting there tougher and of the rooms are shared, students have enlightenment Buddha-like student appear evident as of yet. Let us wait tougher. For Pete’s sake, the obstacle the luxury of having pool, library and body will not do enough; I am not sure with bated breath and crossed fi ngers, creasing eco- courses of educational diff erences campus on their doorstep, which more the word ‘protest’ is even in their lexi- but I for one am not getting my hopes and tuition fees are already enough to than compensates for any inconven- con. If our students cannot even get us up. nomic reality contend with, without adding another ience. Speaking of inconveniences, to creep up the green league from our hurdle. Of course, in our Imperial Col- take a moment and put all of this into bottom position, what hope is there To sign the petition to save Garden Hall lege London family, we do not give two perspective; in Romania for instance, for anything else? Imperial College visit http://www.change.org/en-GB/pe- for many hoots about social mobility. We prefer student holes lack proper shower or London is an odd place: our brightest titions/imperial-college-save-garden- “ to collectively spend money on bottled toilet fi xtures. h is is not saying we minds churn out leading energy poli- hall Campus Services and College Council h e rector has a bigass house, let’s just Because the ground rent will have Online should be ashamed of themselves. h ey move in with him. been set many decades ago, College I really hate smoking and wish people have managed to close down Wilson, could be paying ground rent of a few didn’t smoke... In response to “Anger Over New Clayponds, the Holland Club and now --- hundred pounds per year (essentially h at being said, its someone’s per- Halls” (22nd February) this. If there is a prize for the worst stu- In response to “Soap Opera Acton” nothing). You claim that College could sonal choice to smoke and it isn’t my job dent support the campus services direc- (1st March) easily negotiate an extension of the (or anyone else’s) to really pass judge- Really, really angry about this. I had a tor should get it. If the College ever call lease, and I’m sure that’s true, but the ment or try to enforce any restriction fantastic time in Garden in fi rst year me up asking me for money for the rest I entirely agree that College should keep costs would be staggering: given the on someone smoking beyond that of the and it’d be an absolute travesty if it was of my life I will tell them where can go! Evelyn Gardens open until the end of location, we’re talking 8-9 fi gures for a law and common sense. Its the respon- to close. the lease. h e halls are not in particu- reasonable extension. sibility of the smoker to stop smoking... Besides, I stayed in a triple room for “Harding-Roots said that “aff ordable larly bad condition (with the exception not the majority nor the college. just under £70 a week, which was ace, rents” were the “main focus.” He said of Fisher), and would therefore not need --- Like it or not, people do smoke, and at least for my bank account. that College needed a “balanced portfo- a massive amount of investment over In response to “h ere is Something not having provisions for it or attempt- Now options like this are systemati- lio, including lower band rooms, which the next 32 years. in the Air” (1st March) ing to deny it happens creates more cally being” stripped away to feed dollar are under £150 per week.” Your argument regarding the lease problems than it ever solves. h is is re- back to h e Man and the production of Harding-Roots is also living in a extension is, however, misguided. In- A very interesting piece Merry. Some- gardless of what the majority’s stance on more JCR baguettes. Probably. dream world. Does he think £150/week deed, the way a leasehold typically thing as a non smoker which I object smoking actually is. is *cheap*? When I was in halls I paid works is that you pay a large amount to is having to inhale a cloud of smoke People should get off their moral “We want to engage with students to just under £100/week and even that of money upfront to purchase the lease- when I walk past your fraternity to en- soapboxes; If this was a restriction on fi nd out what they would like to see completely consumed my student loan. hold, every year you pay ground rent ter various buildings around college. If fatty foods or alcohol then there’d be a there.” Close and cheap, but not at such a (which is set at the time of the purchase, the college provided bins and so on just diff erent response to this article. Oh wow. Just like you “engaged” in high specifi cation. If you want luxury, and normally doesn’t increase much/ a few metres away from doors and thor- I hate cigarettes and smoking. But I asking us if we actually want halls there. go private. at all after that), and at the end of the oughfares, would you begrudge using hate restrictions on a person’s freedom lease, you’re left with nothing. them? of choice far far more... 42 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Comment Editors: George Barnett, COMMENT Navid Nabijou, James Simpson [email protected] Let’s Find Out Then! Curiousity may have killed the cat, but without it we all risk a far worse fate, says Anum Farooq

ow, I have a huge con- fession to make. Well, Let’s find out if it’s something that I it’s venomous! Ncan’t really help, aside from the non-stop verbal diarrhea. When it began is as misty as a fading memory skipping on old stones in a running brook, but it must have been somewhere in my childhood. It became my friend, almost always Anum Farooq helping me to learn and resulting in those deep meaningful conversa- tions which end up changing your life somewhat. It has a name, perhaps familiar to many yet surrounded in a haze of enigma, unless you’ve been brave enough to reach out to it and go together on a journey. It has a name, which is ‘why’. In the beginning, it started off with: “Why There is a are the leaves swaying?” “Why is the weather changing?” h en progressed onto the generic “Why can’t I do this? spectrum of I’m old enough, thank you.” “Why study science when I love art?” “Why inquisitiveness; can’t everyone hold hands and be happy?” To the rather mature: “Why does the world not make any sense?” Quite from personal rightly too, it doesn’t. Anyway, there is a spectrum of inquisitiveness; from personal curiosity curiosity re- related to the self and sense of devel- noying attitude. Being passionately osity of the scared. karate kid and being inspired? Why opment, to asking questions about curious about the environment, a Yet, despite all these inquisitive ad- don’t you think for yourself? lated to the how the world works to fi nding an- favourite hobby leading to explor- ventures, I still am very much curious Why don’t you question zeitgeist swers that make a positive impact on ing the wilderness and collecting leaf about a lot of things. In particularly, and society, and empower Earth? Why Earth. samples, which would then be neatly I suppose currently about the hormo- didn’t you use your own mind when self ... to ask- It is this spectrum of curiosity that pressed into handmade cards. nal nature of the female species, you it could’ve mattered? Why don’t you keeps me busy on many explorations. Being a seeker of spirituality, read- never know when the tornado is com- chain yourself to trees in Brazil to save If I didn’t understand anything, an al- ing about various faiths was never ing. So I duck, just in case. the rainforest? Why don’t you have ing questionsuestions most expedition-like tendency took enough; painting about them was not So, why am I telling you all this? Is any questions, anymore? Why are you over. To understand the schizophren- either. I had to visit the holy houses to reawaken your innately inquisitive being patronized by me? “ ic nature of my primary caregiver, ul- and temples, and irritate many nuns, inner child? What’s it to you anyway? Why am I making these assump- aboutuutt how the timately led to trekking up mountains, imams, rabbis, priests and fakirs with Well, in the name of relevancy, a lot tions? Well, I don’t know, perhaps it’s meditating and fi nding every source my endless questions. I had to visit actually. Why have you lost that insa- a projection or maybe I need to ques- worldd worworks.ks. of fresh holy water – and an increas- sacred sites and temples many thou- tiably curious trait you were born with, tion some more. Why don’t you begin ingly humbled holier-than-thou an- sands of years old, to absorb the curi- huh? Why have you stopped watching your curiosity quest?

It is not surprising that people who balances must be bought in to prevent to provide napping space has been seri- Each week, the best work for the Union informally support this preference having a major infl uence ously detrimental to my academic de- Letters one candidate, though I feel it is unde- on the election result. velopment. letter to the Editor sirable to have the people who work for, Often my only options for get- will get if that is the correct relation, a candidate Anonymous ting some much-needed shuteye are Sir, to be in the role of ensuring that an elec- sprawled over the uncomfortable fold- tion is run fairly. It is also a worrying --- ing chairs in empty lecture theaters, or I am intrigued to hear that there is po- sign that it is not widely published who on the sofa of a highly-public common £10 tentially an intrinsic bias in the supervi- the returning offi cers are, unless I am Sir, room (to the chagrin of all other users of sion and running of the Union elections. unable to properly navigate the union the space). Clearly this is not benefi cial h e event that particularly raised this to website. I would like the College to address the to anyone. Email: my attention was when one of the candi- It is, as far as I know, a rare situation serious lack of napping space around What I would thus like to suggest is dates was ordered to change the content for a incumbent sabbatical to run for campus. the establishment of an Imperial Col- [email protected] of their poster. I shall not comment on election again, but when it happens is I am a frequent snoozer, and I fi nd lege Napping Society: give them a small Or submit whether that” content was off ensive or perfectly understandable why people that during times of tiredness, getting room and some camp beds, and solve not, though, it was concerning to hear closely linked to the union would sup- a good nap is imperative to being able the napping crisis once and for all! anonymously at: that the returning offi cers in fact hold port them due to their vast experience. to concentrate eff ectively on my work. positions in the welfare department. With this considered, more checks and In this regard, College’s abject failure Anonymous felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 08 MARCH 43 Food Editors: Carol Ann Cheah, Sophia Goldberg, Yiango Mavrocostanti FOOD [email protected] Healthy Procrastination Sophia Goldberg on why snacking isn’t so bad for you

are I say it, but this is grumbles. I love fruits like bananas the penultimate issue of and berries in my porridge. To sweet- Felix this term – which en add honey or muscovado sugar. For Dmeans only one thing: breakfast, buy some freshly squeezed exam season is looming. orange juice, or make it yourself – the Don’t worry, I’m not saying you need vitamin C is good for your immune to start revising just yet, the “holi- system and helps ward off those un- days” (AKA fi ve weeks of cramming) friendly, unwanted revision colds. Al- are still a couple of weeks away. Just ternatively, try one of Josie’s or Alex’s keep in mind that however hard you smoothies. Why not treat yourself, and revise, it doesn’t need to be all doom go out for breakfast? It’s a great way to and gloom, because there’s always a start the day. great meal to look forward to. h ank- Okay, so snacking can have an ad- fully, lunch and dinner create some of verse eff ect on your revision, and I’m those rare sought-after revision breaks not advocating procrastination, but from work we students are so grateful everyone needs a little revision break for – so it’s really important to make to keep themselves focused. My top the most of them. fi ve healthy (*coughs* procrastination) You’re less likely to be as active as snacks are: soft dried apricots, pump- you normally are during revision (I’d kin seeds, pralines, blueberries and red still advise you to leave the house on a grapes. I’m told that sugar snap peas daily basis), so eating well is really im- are also great to nibble on. If you want portant. As you’ll be going out late less, a bigger snack, carrots and hummus you’ll be spending a lot less, but don’t or olives can do the trick. h ey’re a fa- save it – money’s there to be spent, vourite of mine, but they can be pretty right? During revision I splash out on messy. For something sweet or sa- really good quality food. It’s feel-good voury, get some popcorn. We’re going and it may even improve my concen- through a popcorn era at the moment: tration. Uh huh, I’m talking about buy- you can get anything from sweet chilli ing grapes, blueberries and mangos. to sticky toff ee pudding fl avour – I like Yeah, mangos. I’m happy to buy into the Tyrrells ones best. For a longer re- the superfood placebo malarkey if it vision break, why not make your own? keeps me concentrated. If you feel like splashing out, you Breakfast is the most important meal could get some Graze boxes delivered of the day so stick to something that to your house. h ey’re the perfect so that your fi rst box is free and your almost believe that they’re good for whole bag of freshly baked raisin and will keep you going, and even better snack size to take out if you’re popping second is half price. you. Try and resist constantly eat- oat Sainsbury’s biscuits, share them if it’s really quick to microwave. Por- out to the Library or having a revision For a treat get some chocolate/ yo- ing Mini Eggs, although they’ll give with your housemates. It gives you ridge always gets me through to lunch break. h ey’re not the most economi- ghurt covered nuts/dried fruit. h ey’re you a sugar high the sugar low won’t an excuse to take a break and it tastes without any distracting mid-morning cal of buys, but they regularly do deals great for a cheeky snack and you can help you focus. Instead of devouring a good too.

Ode to Smoothies Josie Bowler & Alex Gray Writers smoothies: have no fear combining belled his bananas…). Adding golden the fruit with the vegetable. My per- syrup or honey can be used to sweeten sonal favourite smoothie is spinach, a smoothie – a technique Alex seri- Deciding to spend your own personal banana and milk (it looks radioactive ously advocates – or lemon/lime juice money on kitchen appliances rather which is cool). Bananas are the abso- can be used for the reverse eff ect. than clothes/drinks is a pretty signifi - lute staple of all smoothies and give Cocoa powder also works well; I’ve cant sign that you have grown up – al- the correct texture. You can either use heard the combination of nuts, cocoa though it may be scary, in the case of water, milk or natural yoghurt to reach powder and bananas is very fi lling and a smoothie maker it is a worthwhile the desired consistency depending on tastes amazing (I can’t provide fi rst investment. how you feel about calories. Other hand evidence as I’m allergic to nuts). h e fi rst and only rule of smoothie potentially uncommon ingredients in- Nuts in smoothies are an excellent making is: do not be afraid of your clude celery, courgette or kiwi. way of adding extra protein: having smoothie! h e absolute worst case Frozen berries are also amazing a nut based smoothie to accompany scenario (assuming no unknown al- in smoothies and you can put them your meal will rack up quite a few ex- lergic reactions) is that it tastes bad, straight in the blender which sort of tra grams of protein. in which case you can just down it makes it a bit icy. If you combine it Potential things to avoid include (think of the money wasted if you left with water it’s sort of like a slush pup- cottage cheese (I put this in once to try Mauritian Night it and to be fair you’ve probably drunk py (delish). h ey are also a good deal and add more calories to my smoothie Celebrate Mauritius’ 45th independence anniversary with the Impe- worse tasting things on a night out) cheaper than buying the room tem- and it was horrendous) and word on rial College London Mauritian Society! Join them for a three course or be a total pansy and throw it away. perature alternative. the street is grapes are not great either. meal and entertainment! Smoothies are also the most effi cient Pictured is the smoothie my gor- It’s very hard to go wrong, and if it’s 6:30pm, Thursday 14th March way of getting from 0 to 5 of your 5 a geous housemate Alex makes every not good then don’t make it again. It’s @Union Dining Hall, Beit Quad day in the time it takes to drink a pint. morning. It consists of frozen berries, so simple! Why not try it yourself? Get £9 for members and £12 for non-members (formal dress code) Do not be afraid of vegetables in banana, oats and milk (yes he has la- experimenting and get healthy! 44 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, ARTS Meredith Thomas [email protected] Waterboarding Lauren Radcliffe interrogates an artist

rika Craig is one of many upcoming artists in our generation. She began her Ecareer in California where she received her BA. Dur- ing this time she also studied in an inspirational and architecturally rich city, Paris. Erika has a style that you cannot help but admire. Both her technical skill and her creative ability to take diff erent perspectives on reality have the power to take ones breath away. Her underwater paintings capture the essence of the unpredictable and the surreal nature with which water can play with and distort the body. It was a great privilege to interview her and I jumped at the chance to ask her more about her life as an artist and about the journey that led her Why work? Instead, doodle all lecture long and then send us your drawings to where she is now. Although this is to [email protected]. This doodle was done by Dharani Kishore in a Mate- a brief insight into the life of the artist rials lecture for Aero Yr 1. Erika Craig, I hope that after reading, you are inspired to go and do some art yourself. Personally, learning about Erika’s Enhanced interro- working method and her struggle has gation techniques driven me to do more of the painting are not funny which I love and which I sometimes fi nd diffi cult to practice alongside my degree.

Lauren: What was it like to study in especially art, writing and drawing ing the face the most so I usually start Paris? which are such a major part of my life. with that. I found, from experience, After I recovered it gave me a renewed that it is better to work on the canvas as Sprint Festival @ Camden People’s Theatre - A festival of new, unusual or groundbreaking Erika: It was wonderful, being sur- sense of appreciation for art. a whole rather than doing the portrait theatre by some of the youngest companies today. There will be experimental poetry and rounding by old architecture, I’m not and then the refl ections afterwards as pop-up theatre spaces amongst other things and no ticket will cost more than £10. used to that in America; we went to L: Were there particular people who you can maintain a constant colour museums, studied statues. Often we infl uenced you and your art? palate and keep the same colour theme Nymphae Nymphalidar @ Rove Gallery - Nicholas Alvis Vega was thrown out of would do sketching in the gardens and throughout the piece. Otherwise you the London School of Art for making body casts of his underage girlfriend on the then go back to the studio to continue E: h e painting teacher I had was also have to mix up the colours again and premises. His exploration of the male gaze and its legacy in art continues with a painting. my surfi ng instructor. h e school was you can never get the same tone twice. series of twisted pinups irreverently collecting the classical and contemporary in only 10 minutes from the beach so we painting. March 9 – April 6 L: Was there anything in particular had surfi ng classes. I found it interest- L: Where do you go from there? that helped develop your artistic ing how painting underwater scenes Affordable Art Fair @ Battersea Park – It is big, brash and it is back. The affordable style during your studies? made me pay more attention to the E: Every painting I do is a struggle, at art fair probably stretches the word affordable to breaking point where students falling and fl owing water, it gave me a a certain stage it just looks like an ugly are concerned. However the annual jamboree offers a great opportunity to wan- E: I took a fi gure painting class. Hav- kind of hyper-sense watching refl ec- mess. But eventually I fi gure it out. der around the in sun and bitch about the incomprehensible and overpriced. 7 – 10 ing a time limit made me freer with my tions. I feel that nature and art natu- Each painting is like a journey rather March drawing, I usually spend a lot of time rally go together. than a method. If you think about it on portraits but the 30 second pose too much it doesn’t work. My biggest Ring @ Battersea Art Centre – This soundscape, produced by theatre group Fuel, restriction drew on my impulses and L: Can you describe to me the pro- fear is starting on a blank white canvas places the audience into a familiar environment The audience wear headphones gave me confi dence. cess of how you begin a painting? and not knowing what to do, focussing that amplify the intimate details of the room, transporting you to somewhere on tiny details and getting caught up in slightly different where they have been recognised. 11-28 March L: Who is your favourite artist(s)? E: First I build a canvas, stretch the the specifi cs rather than the painting as canvas over it and then coat it with a a whole. My advice when painting is to E: I’m inspired by the romanticism primer. I use a projector as my pieces just go for it, and come back to the de- movement and renaissance styles and I are large and it is diffi cult on that scale tails later, only then does it really come love surrealism and dream-like scenes. to get the proportions right using free to life. hand. I trace the outlines and then I like L: What were the major turning to paint a base coat of acrylic. I use se- L: Does art express you as a person? points in your career as an artist? pia tones and neutral colours. It’s nicer to paint with a base coat than on the E: Yeah, I think so; even if I don’t try E: In high school I started getting a bare canvas. h en I move around the it expresses parts of me. I look back at pain in my hands and found it increas- painting focusing on diff erent parts, things and see the same themes. h e ingly more diffi cult to use them. I had usually starting with the darker areas. positions of the fi gures and the type of surgery and it was diffi cult not being I paint the basic shapes and from then mood conveyed refl ects how I was feel- able to do things that I wanted to do, on it’s really just intuitive. I enjoy painting at the time. FRIDAY 08 MARCH 45

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas ARTS [email protected] Getting to the points of Lichenstein

Arianna Sorba Writer ings that made Lichtenstein famous good, or emotive, but by restricting did little for me. Perhaps it is be- himself to sparse broad brushstrokes cause by now they have become so or sheets of bendy plastic, Lichten- “Whaam!” is probably one of the most overused, so synonymous with the stein prevented his own distinctive reproduced pieces of art on the plan- very idea of pop-art, that it is kind style from emerging through. (It does et. h at bold comic style, that distinc- of impossible to have a fresh opinion not help that the depiction of a sunset tive script, the perfect coloured dots... about them. Also, not being much of has been done many times before, and h e piece is so distinctively Lichten- a comic-reader myself, I have very lit- by some very, very good artists.) He stein that it has perhaps come to de- tle pre-Lichtenstein comic imagery in also produced some fairly weird and fi ne him as an artist. However as this my head for the pieces to play off of or abstract installations during his ‘mod- retrospective shows, Roy Lichtenstein tap into. Meanwhile the commentary ern’ phase, such as a recreation of a is so much more than that. he makes in the pieces about gender classic red velvet rope strung between Around the time when he was play- roles in American society are, I think, two golden posts, such as one might ing around with comic strips and better expressed by his earlier and fi nd in a fancy theatre, that seemed ‘Benday dots’, Lichtenstein was also simpler works. just too far removed from any human experimenting with sculpture, and However, Lichtenstein’s interpreta- touch for me to emotionally respond while I am not normally a fan, I could tion of the subject of female nudes is to. not help but enjoy some of his massive the only one I have ever liked. I am But that is the magic of a retrospec- monochrome installations. Perhaps it not sure why, although perhaps it is tive. By spanning over 40 years of is because I am quite into my writing because the naked women he depicts work of an incredibly interesting and (and stationery!), but an absolutely are having fun for once. For the fi rst surprisingly varied artist, you feel like giant version of one of those clas- time ever, I did not question why you really are getting a chance to see sic ‘compositions’ notebooks got me these women were naked and vul- everything Lichtenstein did; the good, genuinely excited about the potential nerable, nor his agenda, but instead the bad and the ugly. And by seeing for the massive stories and ideas they appreciated his classic dotty, colour- everything, from his self-conscious might contain. Meanwhile I found ful treatment of them, the beautiful early works and studies, before he myself unexpectedly moved looking curved lines, the clever layering of had really found his footing as a pop- into one of his ‘mirrors’, and fi nding patterns and imagery. In fact, such is artist, to his later experiments with that I had no refl ection; as though he Lichtenstein’s sensitivity to the social the styles of artists wildly diff erent had somehow managed to immerse context of his work that the women’s to his own, you begin to understand my character completely within his choice and style of clothes, had they Lichtenstein in some way, and realise art. Lichtenstein has a way of looking been wearing any, would probably that he is quite a special artist. Every at things, a way of understanding both have said more about them and in that piece of his art seems completely un- the cultural identity and physical ge- way been more distracting than their self-centred and yet distinctly his. He ometry of his subject matter, through nakedness. has real talent but does not make you which by reducing them to lines and His unusual series on landscapes feel guilty or intimidated for not hav- colours he somehow manages to make and seascapes however were not quite ing the same. Most of all, Lichtenstein them say more. so powerful or engaging for me. It seems to just really enjoy making his In contrast, the comic strip paint- was not that they were not technically art.

Come down and watch us kick Don’t waste this start varsity in style as the IC bands go head-to-head with space... write for ICSM bands!

Come support your side, Felix. and prepare for two electrifying nights! Email in now: HEATS [email protected] SUPPOR C VS ICSM REYNOLDS BAR, CHARING I S T ING I CS CROSS HOSPITAL M ED R AG THURSDAY 28TH FEBRUARY 7.30 PM FINALS METRIC BAR, BEIT QUAD TUESDAY 12TH MARCH 7.30 PM

ONLY £2 ENTRY! 46 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Books Editor: Maciej Matuszewski BOOKS [email protected] Julian Assange in Sweden Christopher Reynolds reviews a biased and inaccurate account of the WikiLeaks founder’s troubles with the law

ne eff ect of digital dis- nesses, all of which have been leaked party over Afghanistan, and a newspa- tribution is that books to the internet. per for progressive Muslims she was become that would pre- h e accusers’ interviews are often launching fl opped. Faced with the fall- The book is highly dismissive of Oviously be unreleasable quite damning and humiliating for As- ing of her star within the party, she de- the serious claims against Assange become available. h is is sange, so these are confi ned to the back cided to boost her profi le by the logi- not necessarily a bad thing, as books of the book as appendices, heavily an- cal step of destroying a much-admired with potential audiences too low to notated within the text with disputing fi gure within her circle. justify a print run can now reach their statements, and the reconstructions 4. She’s an actual CIA mole, possibly target market. Julian Assange in Swe- mostly use the interview statements of also responsible for helping the Israe- den however, is less a book, and more two members of WikiLeaks: Johannes lis to attack the Gaza fl otilla in 2010, of an assemblage of internet message Wahlström and Donald Boström. Af- as she had been a member of the fl o- board rantings. Literally so, as much ter the reconstruction, the book then tilla support team. of the book is given over to conspir- gets down to smearing the accusers h e book proceeds to comb through acy theories which are noted as being and coming up with theories as to why huge amounts of personal informa- proposed on a Swedish internet forum they would make false accusations. tion in a way that becomes creepy. No (the logo of which features a cat smok- h e most bizarre smears are di- information is too trivial or irrelevant ing a spliff , which tells you all you need rected at the fi rst accuser (the second to be included. h e offi cer who took to know). accuser is painted as an easily-manip- note of the crime makes costume jew- h e book is ostensibly an attempt to ulated stooge, due to her dyslexia), a ellery as a hobby. Pages are devoted ascertain the facts behind Julian As- high profi le member of the party host- to listing the photos in one of the ac- sange’s visit to Sweden, during which ing Assange, and fall into four catego- cuser’s Flickr collection. two women accused him of sexual as- ries: On the other hand, no eff ort is made sault. Still facing extradition, Assange 1. Jealousy. After experiencing As- to even scratch the surface of the remains in the Ecuadorean embassy sange’s lovemaking, his accuser be- background of anybody sympathetic next to Harrods. Although William comes obsessed with him. When As- to Assange, though a simple search of Hague, who has not yet come across sange moves on to another woman, the internet reveals that Wahlström a situation he couldn’t make worse, she becomes furious and decides to and Boström have both been involved initially threatened to breach the em- exact revenge. in promoting anti-Semitic conspiracy bassy, the threat was quickly with- 2. She’s a radical feminist who hates theories. drawn, presumably after someone had men on principle, and inventing rape h e transcripts of the police inter- informed Hague of international law, accusations is standard practice for views of the accusers and witnesses and the situation has since remained feminists. h e allegations may all have are all available on the web, and read- at a stalemate. been arranged via a conspiracy of les- ing those probably represents the best h e book initially makes pretence bian feminists, as she helped to set up opportunity for anyone trying to as- of being an unbiased look at the facts, a gay club. Much is made of the fact certain whether Julian Assange has a with the fi rst third of the text being that the offi cer who the crime was case to answer. h is book fails to add devoted to reconstructing the events reported to was a friend of hers and anything meaningful to them, and of Assange’s visit to Sweden. h ese re- visited the club. ends up being more a demonstration constructions are based on the police 3. To save her career. She had been of some rather worrying elements of interviews with the accusers and wit- on the wrong side of a schism in her Julian Assange’s support. Your chance to meet the publishers

Maciej Matuszewski Books Editor rum for publishers and booksellers “will be able to meet publishers and to hear fi rst-hand from students and The Conference will be held in academic booksellers fi rst hand to lecturers about the rapidly changing the Old Ship Hotel in Brighton discuss how the increase in tuition h e Booksellers Association will be academic market including changes fees last year and the introduction hosting its annual Academic, Pro- in behaviour and expectation. h is of digital textbooks has impacted on fessional and Specialist Bookselling will be facilitated by a great line up of the way in which they consume their (APS) Group Conference at the Old key note speakers, the hugely success- textbooks”. Ship Hotel, Brighton on March 13-14. ful student panel which is back for a h e keynote speech will be given h e Association represents the inter- third year running and a new lecturer by Professor Christopher F. Higgins, ests of some 95% of British bookshops panel debate introduced by popular Vice-Chancellor of Durham Univer- and its conference is aimed at helping demand this year.” sity. h e programme will also include academic booksellers open a dialogue A spokesman told Felix that the As- talks and panels by students and oth- with students and academics. sociation was keen to promote the er academics from Durham, Brighton Alan Staton, h e Booksellers As- event to students as “it off ers them and Plymouth Universities. sociation Head of Marketing, said the unique opportunity to voice their Prospective delegates should email in a statement: “h e APS conference opinions about book-buying and bor- [email protected] to off ers an increasingly important fo- rowing in the modern day.” Attendees register. the VOTING BIG OPENS ELECTIONS 2013 08 MARCH 12:00 CAST VOTING YOUR CLOSES VOTE 15 MARCH Go online 12:00 and click Vote!

Find out more online imperialcollegeunion.org/elections 48 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Music Editors: Mark England, MUSIC Ross Gray, Simon Hunter [email protected] New Indies Julia Spindel introduces four great new talents

Richard Allen II Apples & Eve Singer-songwriter Alternative Folk

Resolutely delivered chords resound ences such as Patrick Watson and Jack London, he is sure to push h ere is a beautiful primordial feel to cal violin solos cutting through the through the body of the listener and Steadman (Bombay Bicycle Club) are these boundaries and to Apples & Eve’s music, accentuated by rippling blanket of harmonies and entice them through Richard Allan’s hinted at by fragile vocals, and the inspire his audience. I gig artwork presenting naked drawings many almost a cappella moments songs. He explores fundamental ideas Fleet Foxes by lilting but muscular strongly recommend a of the fi rst woman in the Bible. One can with which Eva lullabies us into con- and emotions and presents them, bare, melodies, particularly found in “Stran- YouTube or SoundCloud draw parallels between the femi- to the listener. h e frequent poise of ger”. Richard could benefi t from more search for the songs re- nist power of the biblical fi gure the melodies on the break of his voice, musical experimentation and varia- leased so far and there will and Eva Howells, the lead singer which he tightrope walks with captivat- tion both within and between songs. be an EP to listen to in the and sole songwriter in the band. ing purity, reinforces the raw emotion, However, with his thirst for musical spring. He is playing at St Her striking poise and deep, rich and the gritty insistence implies frus- inspiration and continued gigging to Pancras Old Church on and passionate voice engulfs the tration. But the tracks are not doom audiences in Cambridge, Brighton and the 4th of April. listener and keeps you listening and gloom. Instead the lyrics evoke the for hours. She plays the guitar feeling of contemplative resolution and and the accordion and has ac- this, I think, is what makes Richard’s quired a drummer, a violinist, a music clever. Richard has been sing- bassist (who has also worked with ing and song-writing for years and it the likes of Laura Marling, and shows. He is at one with his guitar and James Morrison) and another his newly formed band is already well- guitarist along the way, as well as integrated, contributing beautifully many avid supporters. Eva leads understated vocal harmonies, drum the band, headstrong, though beats and bass lines. h e rhythm and mysterious songs telling of Greek meandering tempo of Richard’s song mythology and sea creatures. h e tex- templation. Infl uences have been “Show Me h e Way” feels comfortably ture of the music is like that of treacle plucked from many an apple tree familiar and this song, in particular, and the seductive, lilting rhythms are across blues, gypsy and even reg- will resonate. And it is a pleasure to somewhat reminiscent of walking on a gae. An EP and a single have been become familiar with the songs. Infl u- large ship or after one too many glasses released and are well worth a listen. of wine. Despite the primitive feel, the h e EP was hand printed using a songs are musically complex, with lyri- wood cut on recycled wallets.

Sivu Progressive Pop The Intermission Project Courtesy of St Barts Hospital, Sivu re- are placed perfectly over rolling lyrics, often both cently spent two hours in an MRI scan- waves of reverberating chords, empowering and Funk/Soul ner recording the video for his fi rst sin- reminiscent of Wild Beasts, and regretful, and his gle “Better Man h an He”. Fascination the melodies are ear-worms that distinctive voice is with both the song and the movement stay with you for days. h e sound perfectly suited to of his tongue as he sings has caused is strangely comforting and these. He touches Currently London’s favour- turn. Alex Watson tracks young age and the band’s Youtube views to on religion, hu- ite band of 18-year-olds, the melody with tight vocal infancy, emotions in their rocket. And the Sivu man nature and h e Intermission Project harmonies & reinforces the songs successfully span joy, storm has continued mental wellbeing, was formed when two bright sound on the banjo regret and hope, bringing to rage following the but they are mere- school friends embarked on and mandolin. h e sound a charming youthfulness release of the sin- ly suggested and a gap year of music- but also a remark- gle. It was recorded so his songs are making whilst they able maturity wher- with Alt-J producer, neither depressing decide what road ever appropriate. Charlie Andrews, nor pretentious. to take in life. Six And the band blends and similarities to His voice is well- months in, they’ve genres – the layered the hit band are au- enunciated and paved this road al- string instruments dible, particularly sticks on certain ready. On the way and vocal harmonies in the layering and words, but fl oats they have adopted suggest folk whilst the vocal percus- ethereally over Sam, an alternat- the fl uid saxophone sion in the track. others. Sivu’s mu- ing saxophonist/ solos and warmth h e orchestration sic can be found cellist whose smile in Jim’s voice brings in Sivu’s music, now on SoundCloud or they spotted at a a welcome dose of involving various Youtube, “Better gig, and the result- soul. h e Intermis- combinations of Man h an He” can ing composition of sion Project have mu- voice, cello, violin, be purchased on the band is delight- sic on YouTube and keys, drums, harp Itunes or Spotify, ful. Jim Rubaduka, SoundCloud and are and omnichord, creates an ambience dreamy, no matter what you were and there will be the lead singer, has recording an EP at that lingers long after fi nal notes. In- doing before listening. James an EP out later this an eff ortlessly rich and is relatively simple but the moment. h eir grinning genious use of instruments gives each Page, the mastermind behind year. Defi nitely characterful voice, perfectly the melodies ingeniously enthusiasm is a joy to watch. its own stage. Reiterated treble phrases the venture, writes bittersweet one to watch. tuned over every twist and memorable. Despite their FRIDAY 08 FEBRUARY 49

Music Editors: Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter MUSIC [email protected] Roots of Hacker Farm Riaz Agahi harvests info ahead of an IC Radio exclusive

head of the Hacker Farm to Cluster / Kluster. It was a nod to indeterminate - and if we just said we exclusive on IC Radio the late, great Conrad Schnitzler, were forming a band that would cover next week, I spoke to who set up the Zodiak Arts Lab and it broadly enough that no one - espe- A them about their infl u- was a founding member of Tangerine cially our wives - would ask too many ences, motivations and Dream in their crazed, early freak-out questions (laughs). what’s coming up next. Kek W ably days when they were as much infl u- …h e actual physical ‘in-the-zone’ walked me through the HF ethos. enced by Hendrix as the possibilities playing together as a two- or three- aff orded by electronic experimenta- piece is at the core of it all. It’s joyous. Punk Bucket tion. And some of the early Cluster It’s a selfi sh thing, I know, but - let’s be sides are pretty harsh too... Cluster ‘71 honest: we’re a niche act - there’s no We’ve all known one another since the (recorded after he left) is really noisy money in this game - so you have to Punk Era – we grew up during that pe- and aggressive; you could play it next enjoy it for all the right personal rea- riod, so Punk as well as Glam, Space to something by h robbing Gristle, sons. It has to be fun or give you some Rock and Psych etc. have informed but it predates it by about 6 years.... sense of personal growth - which this our sensibilities in a big way, as well it’s a misconception that Hippy elec- defi nitely is / does. Any ‘politics’ prob- as early UK Industrial and, much later tronic music is all passive, docile and ably grow logically out of all that - and on, early Acid House and Techno.... gutless... some of it is very much in yer also, naturally, from the sense of moral I think we both like that point – face (laughs); Germany was a hot bed outrage we feel when we see the way probably around the Late 70s – where of radical politics, music and art in the this country is being sold off - and the energy of Punk segued into elec- late 60s and early 70s, and Conrad was out - from within. Our musical and tronic music, so you get tracks where at the heart of that scene. He never philosophical stance is oppositional, guitar-based Punk and Garage bands stopped experimenting, was way of course; we’re angry and annoyed... started using homemade electron- ahead of the curve. He made tracks in but we’re also very positive and fi red- ics or cheap/kit synths... and you end the 70s that Richard James would kill up about what we do. up with these odd, cool little hybrid to have made. Timeless stuff . …, I hope that people do fi nd a sub- tracks that still sound pretty amaz- versive element in what we do, or that ing today, probably because the bands Engine Room it gives them ideas of their own - ways didn’t actually know what they were that they themselves can either ‘fi ght doing or they didn’t have the budget Kek: …h ere has never, hand on heart, back’ or enrich their own lives. Peo- AMS album of the week or studio-time to over-think it or – ever been any sort of plan whatsoever ple are content to be passive consum- equally important – because, at that with any of this (laughs) - nothing be- ers these days; they consume objects Youth Lagoon: Wondrous Bughouse point, there were no rules... the mu- yond an initial chat over a couple pints and information without particularly sic hadn’t solidifi ed into rigid, formu- where we decided that “maybe we questioning it. We like to disrupt that Youth Lagoon consists of a single 23 year old larised genres yet. But you also have should do something at some point”. cycle, we introduce questions or ob- man: Trevor Powers. His debut, The Year of Hi- the fi rst singles by more electronics- “Something noisy.” (laughs) Because servations into the mix, plant little bernation, was released back in 2011 and still orientated groups / artists like h e we’ve all known each other so long, seeds in people’s minds... that’s part of stands as by far my favourite album to emerge Normal, Robert Rental, Cabaret things just, sort of, fell into place of what we do, but there has to be some from the stampede of lo-fi singer songwriters Voltaire, Vice Versa etc... it was an their own accord. personal fun and satisfaction at the of recent years. Rarely going beyond a mini- exciting and very inspirational time Because, it really has been that loose core of it all. malist combination of reverb drenched key- to have lived through. But, having and unchoreographed, and it was pri- boards, processed beats and dreamy vocals said that – and as much as we love the marily always about doing something Q.U.B.E it was a haunting, beautiful, perfectly formed open-ended energy of those artists – fun and ‘social’ - I’d have to say that slice of dream pop. Wondrous Bughouse is a we’ve no real interest in re-enacting the real driver of it all was just the We’ve just released a Rubik’s Cube far more complicated beast. Here you’ll find that era; we try as hard as we can to act of, you know... doing something. made of QR-Codes that lead you to layers, textures and a wide variety of influ- sound like us (laughs)... h at’s going to sound pretty glib and pages of audio, video and text content. ences. It’s an exciting development and makes for a fascinating listen. fl imsy, I know (laughs)... but I think h at’s a really cool little project that ‘Through Mind and Back’ is a great little intro that showcases the variety of Konrad that sits at the core of it all: that we we started almost a year ago – a way of techniques and sounds that is the rest of the album. Next up is ‘Mute’. ‘Mute’ is wanted to do something - something making digital downloads ‘interesting’ unbelievable. Layers and layers of synths create an incredible dreamy textured Yes, the title Konrad is a reference vague and noisy and mischievous and by creating a physical object that you soundscape of pure wonderment. It’s definitely my track of the year so far. The have to engage with and which unlocks rest obviously can’t quite live up to the greatness of ‘Mute’ (I could probably content, rather than just pressing a but- talk about how good this track is for the remainder of this review...) but there ton and getting a kneejerk download are some other fantastic tracks. ‘Pelican Man’ draws heavily on 60s psychedelic ‘freebie’ – we wanted to make people rock but feels more like an update than homage. Shoegaze indebted ‘The Bath‘ think about the process and engage is a swirling vortex of sound set to sparse drums and it’s great. ‘Dropla’ is much with it, form a bridge between the cheerier than I’m used to hearing from Youth Lagoon, and is an exciting diver- analogue and digital worlds. Next up sion halfway through the record. In fact, pretty much all of the tracks here are is a split Betamax / DVD release with of a really high standard. I often find that heavily textured psychedelic stuff gets Libbe Matz Gang, and an HF cassette a bit dreary, but here only ‘Sleep Paralysis’ has me considering the skip button. album on Feral Recordings, which’ll be Powers has obviously tried to steer his sound away from the minimalist dream a slightly ‘softer’, more textural release pop that he made his own on his debut, which is understandable, even admira- than UHF, I think. h is one may sur- ble. Sadly, as a result, Wondrous Bughouse feels a lot less like his. There are sev- prise a few people. eral tracks here that sound a little bit too much like popular alternative bands. You’ll hear Animal Collective, Tame Impala, Grizzly Bear etc. It feels a little like An exclusive live recording from Hacker he’s trying his hand at various band’s sounds to see which one he likes the best. Farm along with a playlist they’ve kindly That said, his fantastic songwriting still draws this through as a great album, so curated featuring their biggest infl u- whilst I might recommend The Year of Hibernation a little more enthusiastically, ences will be played on IC Radio’s own I’d still say this is one you should definitely have on your shopping list. Also, Songs About Nothing – 6pm, h ursday listen to ‘Mute’, it’s incredible. 14th March Keir Little 50 FRIDAY 08 FEBRUARY

Music Editors: Mark England, MUSIC Ross Gray, Simon Hunter [email protected] Deviation lands at XOYO Simon Hunter checks out a new residency for the party

rior to last Friday it’d the UK to Flying Lotus to exposing been a good year since the world to the UK’s underground I was last at XOYO. scene, Benji B has never been part of P In 2010, when it fi rst any real clique, rather preferring to do opened, the initial things his way. excitement was of a club with the h is year Deviation has moved from line-ups and support that could have its midweek enclave to prime-time proved a replacement for h e End. Friday night at one of London’s biggest However something just wasn’t right clubs, XOYO. Last Friday was the sec- about the lay-out and the sweat-drip- ond of the new residency for the club ping ceiling com- night, boasting a bined with line- line-up that was ups deviating indicative of the from my tastes serious talents meant that I only that have been ended up going booked for the about fi ve times. club night over But the potential the next few for the night held months. Em- last Friday was ploying none so great I’d have less than Ac- who had been given a substantial probably gone tress and Jamie set in comparison to his precursor. had it been held XX to bring the Just like Actress, Jamie XX is a pro- in the Great Hall. party, I was con- ducer fi rst and DJ second, and this is Probably. vinced that I’d perhaps what let the night down. As Deviation is fi nd my missing ever Jamie’s selection was faultless, a night that sorely underrated DJ, love for the club that night. yet he still hasn’t managed to iron Benji B, started fi ve years ago to break As we entered, Actress was prepar- out the clashing mixes that have put up the monotony of working for fi ve ing to take to the decks. Expecting a a dampener on many of his sets for straight days. Held on a Wednesday, deep and twisted set of spaced-out me (although admittedly he seemed its crowd had to be loyal and serious techno, we were ready to fl y. Unfor- to nail more of the mixes as his set about their music; getting the likes of tunately the diff erence between the progressed). As the night ticked Dam Funk, Jackmaster, Mala, h eo music Actress makes and what he closer to and past 3am (the crimi- Parrish and Joy O to grace the Com- DJs is quite stark and after taking an nally early closing time for the club) mercial Street arches on a Wednesday unexpected R&B hit, we headed for a people started to trickle out, yet at that we were treated to. And the ic- the dancefl oor to close Deviation for night is no mean feat. But Benji B is smoke. It’s not that the guy can’t DJ, around half past Benji B returned to ing on the cake? As the lights came on another month. no amateur; starting his career at KISS or even that I disliked the music he the decks to play one almighty fi nale. and people started fi ling out, a request So while XOYO still failed to win me FM before moving to Radio 1Xtra to played – far from it – it just felt out of Some call it lazy DJ-ing, but really it from the booth was shouted down to round, the quality of the music and of host his own show a decade ago, the place coming from a guy that makes was genuinely the most fun I’ve had in the fl oor, “Techno or Disco?”. A unani- the crowd meant that I’ll be spending London DJ has been a great promoter some of the freshest sounding elec- a club in months; tunes from Kend- mous swell of “Disco” emanated from more Friday evenings sweating and of all things experimental yet soulful tronic music in the UK today. rick Lamar, Joy O and TNGHT were the crowd before ‘Stand On h e Word’ dancing in that club just off the Old in electronic music. From introducing Following Actress was Jamie XX just a few of the ‘best of 2012’ fi nale by h e Joubert Singers swept across Street roundabout.

Friday Saturday 18:00 – 19:00 Honey and Vinegar 20:00 – 21:00 Best Foot Forward Playing the best of the latest indie A weekly fi x of brand new indie/alt/ 08:00 – 10:00 IC Breakfast 13:00 – 14:00 h e Morning After pop and hip-hop (with the occasional electronica Top banter, great features and an Chill cheeky mashup). eclectic mix of tunes - a must-listen 21:00 – 22:00 Bangin’ Tunes on the while you get ready for an action- Sunday 19:00 – 20:00 IC Sessions Most Awesomest Show in the Entire packed day. h e amazingly talented Virgin Sol- Universe 15:00 – 17:00 h e National Student diers join us for an exclusive live ses- 16:00 – 17:00 h e Ornithological Radio Chart Show sion and interview from the IC Radio 23:00 – 00:00 Beneath the Paving Hour h e chart show by students across the production studios. Stones, the Beach UK with unsigned and chart music - 18:00 – 19:00 Rock and Roll Ain’t Hosted by a diff erent student station 20:00 – 21:00 h e Eclectic Ecto- Wednesday Noise Pollution every week! plasm An eclectic mix of anything and eve- 10:00 – 11:00 AKA 20:00 – 21:00 Mad Craic 17:00 – 18:00 h e Happy Hour rything. h e best music on ICRadio Award-winning Mad Craic features Join the Sunday fun with Happy Mi- every Monday evening. 19:00 – 21:30 Varsity 2013 LIVE tunes and banter from the wonder- chael’s random cool features and sto- from h e Stoop fully English Craig Woods and the ries with awesome tunes (and some- Tuesday Live broadcast and commentary of LISTINGS astonishingly Irish Aislinn Hayes. times a complimentary laughing fi t!) JPR Williams Cup Rugby match 2013 18:00 – 19:00 You Can’t Play h at To listen, go to 22:00 – 23:00 h e Audio Express Monday On Radio Anymore! http://www.icradio.com/ Featuring psychedelic/progressive 16:00 – 17:00 Monday Matter music from the analogue age. and just hit “listen live” the THIS YEAR’S BIG TURNOUT TARGETS ELECTIONS 2013 43% Vote online from of the 12:00 Friday 8 March till student body 12:00 Friday 15 March

60% Undergraduates 25% Postgraduate Research WE’RE AIMING 20% Postgraduate Taught FOR THE TOP... AGAIN! # Last year, we had the highest voter turnout1 in turnout in England and Wales with the country 41% of all students at Imperial College voting in The Big Elections. This year, we want to get the highest turnout in the UK .

You can keep track of all the election stats during voting, including our national ranking, at

imperialcollegeunion.org/elections. Find out more online imperialcollegeunion.org/elections 52 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, FILM John Park, Lucy Wiles ﬁ [email protected] Rising Star: Jessica Chastain

The Three Performances to watch

h e Debt (2010) h e Help (2011) Zero Dark h irty (2012)

trayal of a CIA operative on the hunt h e Omen’s Damien h orn, to the Mama for Bin Laden, she now has to appear creepy twins in Kubrick’s h e Shin- in a fi lm whose clunky, inorganic dia- ing, it is a well-established fact that Director: Andrés Muschietti logue would make even Jack Nichol- children are completely terrifying; Screenwriters: Neil Cross, Andrés son seem robotic. Her role in the fi lm, Charpentier and Nélisse ramp up the Muschietti, Barbara Muschietti that of an archetypal ‘rebel-chick’ chill factor to eleven, giving perfor- Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj (think black, cropped hair, bass gui- mances that are both physically and Coster-Waldau tars, tattoos, and frequent use of the mentally unnerving, showing talent phrase ‘whatever’) who develops a far beyond their years. Had the fi lm- bond with the orphans, does no jus- makers kept this innate creepiness in tice to her talent. If her recent perfor- the girls the focus of the fi lm, rather mances in other fi lms are anything to than fragmenting it with unneces- go by, Chastain is clearly a sublime sary side-stories and fl imsy character Fred Fyles Film Writer actress, and although she tries to development, it could have become shine in the role she is ultimately let something truly special. down by the incredibly poor script- Mama is a perfect example of a Around 5 years ago, Spanish director writing; seriously, any writer who good idea poorly executed. It had Andrés Muschietti released a short includes the line ‘do you believe in all the right ingredients to become a fi lm entitled Mamá, in which two ghosts?’ in their screenplay deserves chilling, psychological horror – voic- young girls are pursued through a – we don’t know who, or indeed what h e fi lm is supposedly set in an to be exiled from Hollywood for dis- es coming from the walls, mentally dark house by a demonic mother fi g- Mama is – whereas this edition props unnamed North American town – services to cinema. disturbed children, ghostly presenc- ure. At less than three minutes long, itself up with a backstory: in 2008, at fi lmed in Toronto and Quebec – but I One of the only great parts of the es – but chose instead to trade this in the short is snappy, horrifying, and the height of the fi nancial crisis, an refuse to believe this. I think instead fi lm comes in the pint-sized forms for cheap thrills. Go and see the fi lm crackles with an energy rarely found unstable banker kills his business that the fi lm takes place in some kind of Megan Charpentier and Isabelle if you enjoy ‘jump-in-your-seat’ mo- in horror fi lms; Muschietti took a partner and wife, before taking his of alternative universe; a universe Nélisse, who play the orphans Vic- ments and gruesome CGI, just don’t scalpel to the genre, leaving it with daughters to a cabin in the woods in which every conceivable trope in toria and Lilly respectively. From expect to be kept up at night. only the bare bones of a psychologi- where he plans to shoot them. Be- the horror genre goes to die – lights cal horror fl ick. h is restraint gave fore this can happen, he is killed by fl icker on and off , dimly lit hospital the fi lm its tense atmosphere, and a shadowy fi gure. Skipping forward corridors grow mould on their walls, unfortunately drew it to the atten- to the present day, the two girls are and everyone seems to travel at night, tion of Guillermo del Toro, who has found by their uncle (Carter-Waldau), alone, and without any means of con- now added it to his growing rostra and move in with him and his ‘alter- tact. Instead of off ering us a new of fi lms labelled ‘Guillermo del Toro native’ girlfriend (Chastain), who is take on the supernatural horror fi lm, Presents…’. Del Toro has taken the unready for the responsibilities of Muschietti and del Toro have deliv- premise of the short, and stretched it child-raising. Shortly after this, they ered an unimaginative, dull fi lm, in out over 100 minutes, transforming begin to be visited by ‘Mama’, a de- which cheap shocks are delivered as the elegant skeleton of Muschietti’s monic guardian who terrorises the regularly as the chimes of Big Ben. original into a bloated, sagging ca- surrogate parents. I won’t reveal the I do pity Jessica Chastain. Fresh daver, buckling under the weight of rest of the story, suffi ce to say that from her disappointment at the 2013 clichés contained within. there is very little that is extraordi- Oscars, in which she missed out on In the original we have no context nary in terms of plot. Best Actress for her incredible por- FRIDAY 08 MARCH 53

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles FILM ﬁ [email protected] Rising Star: Andrea Riseborough

The Three Performances to watch

Brighton Rock (2010) W.E. (2011) Shadow Dancer (2012)

ous criminal, Max Lewinsky (McA- own son, Max works closely with the beaming intensity to create a hero from McAvoy’s character is that he’s voy) has since become a wounded case, always trying to outsmart his worth rooting for. lacking a bottle of alcohol, and with Welcome to the Punch man, both physically and mentally. nemesis, determined now more than Strong has never had a problem Strong, the lazy reference to the vil- He no longer shows the passion or ever to put him behind bars. playing the villain but here he has a lain’s wife poses questions and in- Director: Eran Creevy enthusiasm he once had, and goes Max is a fl awed individual who slightly more layered role to play, as trigue whilst never going back to ad- Screenwriter: Eran Creevy about his everyday job without ex- would never admit his shortcoming. behind that tough, hardened exterior dress it later. Riseborough’s character Starring: James McAvoy, Mark actly having his head in the game, to His leg injury always seems to be lies a genuinely worried father show- is entirely wasted here – she has great Strong, Andrea Riseborough much disappointment from his eager getting in the way, but what makes ing his softer sides, even for the brief- chemistry with McAvoy, and the partner, Sarah Hawks (Riseborough). him stand out is his undying sense est of moments. wordplay between the two is great But he is faced with one last chance of duty, in part driven by revenge to But despite the actors’ best ef- fun to watch, which is why it’s such a to face off with the man who has per- take down the bad guy. Even in the forts, however, the fi lm never spends shame to see her amount to very little manently scarred him for life. Jacob’s fi lm’s opening where four motorbikes enough time into looking at their re- when it comes to the overall plot. son, Ruan (Elyes Gabel) ends up in are chased by Max’s car in the dead lationships in adequate detail. h ere A lot was left on the cutting room John Park Film Editor a hospital in critical condition after of night in Canary Wharf, his relent- is very little background story to ex- fl oor it seems, as Creevy wanted the taking a bullet. Convinced that Ja- less pursuit is what explosively kicks plain their drive and motivation. h e “present-day” action to speak for it- cob will return from hiding to see his everything off . And McAvoy has that only other clichéd element missing self with its tight running time to It’s not at all an uncommon occur- pack in the tension but when it comes rence to see both the good guy and to actually understanding the char- bad guy work together in a cops and acters, the script quickly glosses over robbers thriller. And in order for this them, wanting to get on with its main unlikely alliance to become a believ- forte, the action scenes. able one, there needs to be careful Budgeted at a modest production planning, both in terms of charac- value of 8.5 million dollars, don’t go terisation, as well as the plot that will in expecting to see lots of explosions eventually connect the two. and big-scale gun fi ghts. Instead what Director Eran Creevy, in his second you get are skilfully mounted, in- outing behind the cameras after his tensely shot and patiently fi lmed se- BAFTA-nominated Shifty (very high- quences, often a whole lot more eff ec- ly recommended), is in some ways tive than having far too much money successful in paying tribute to some to spend. With its “less is more” ap- of the best fi lms of this particular proach, the fi lm does fi nd assured genre. In an almost Heat-esque style footing with handling the kinetic and dynamic between his hero and action, always managing to keep the villain, he attempts to create strong slick style intact despite the relatively and stable core central players, as modest scale. well as surrounding in a murky con- h e overall achievement is a sat- spiracy-driven plot set in the parts of isfying one, but you get the feeling London you don’t get to see in many that it could easily have been better, fi lms set in the capital. with a little more attention paid to its h ree years after his leg is shot by characters. Perhaps a director’s cut Jacob Sternwood (Strong), a notori- edition would be worth a look. 54 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, FILM John Park, Lucy Wiles ﬁ [email protected] Rising Star: Mia Wasikowska

The Three Performances to watch

h e Kids Are All Right (2010) Jane Eyre (2011) Albert Nobbs (2011)

clearly made, although these aren’t outcast she sees things others can’t, Stoker the ones you traditionally hear about and hears things others cannot – and – instead with Wentworth Miller’s with this eccentric, almost supernat- Director: Chan-wook Park twisted script and Park’s masterful ural quirk, Wasikowska plays around Screenwriters: Wentworth Miller, direction successfully putting even her character, ultimately blossoming Erin Cressida Wilson darker turns into the narrative. His into an unlikely heroine with ques- Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Nicole cameras linger back and forth clev- tionable morality. Kidman, Matthew Goode, Jacki erly, positioning itself to focus on all All this, backed by some superb Weaver the right key moments, which give music composition that perfectly rise to some shockingly gruesome conveys the sinister mood, is why moments. Parker is without a doubt one of the Placed at the centre of it all is best fi lms of this year so far – we’re Wasikowska, who has the most chal- only still in March of 2013, but this John Park Film Editor deceased husband. Faced with an able, unsettling incestuous love lenging role yet of her career, as the will be one that lingers in your mind illusive uncle she never thought she triangle between the three main girl coming of age, becoming a fully- in the most uncomfortable, disturb- had, India keeps her distance, (as she characters that constantly keeps eve- grown woman, ready to step away ing way possible – which is precisely Park Chan-Wook’s long-awaited often does with everyone – at school, ryone on edge. His immediate eff ect from her childhood confi nement to what Park’s fi lms (Sympathy for Mr. English-language fi lm debut is a at home), and keeps a close eye on on the grieving widow is an obvious take matters into her own hands. Vengeance, Oldboy, Sympathy for wondrous mixture of oddity, taste- this man who seems too good to be one: as evidenced by Kidman’s spot- Her maturation process is essentially Lady Vengeance) are all really aim- ful madness and gothic beauty. h ere true. on transition from the withdrawn what the fi lm is all about – as a social ing for. isn’t a single sane, well-grounded or And of course, the creepy smiles, and depressed, (no-one can do this normal character here, and it’s that the odd looks, the hazy past, the good better than the pale, slender, blood- volatile family dynamic that lights manners all suggest something is off shot-eyed Kidman) to the more lively the fuse and keeps the tension sim- and it isn’t long before anyone who and enthusiastic. As Evelyn begins mering throughout. appears to know more than they let to catch onto Charlie’s motives and India’s (Wasikowska) life is turned on starts disappearing; most notably starts to see India as a potential com- upside down when news of her fa- housekeeper Mrs. Garnish (Phyllis petitor, the cold, icy, steely-eyed side ther’s sudden tragic accidental death Somerville) who is startled by his re- kicks in, again, something Kidman hits home. Her mother Evelyn (Kid- turn, and Aunt Gin (Weaver in a brief truly dominates. man) is an emotional wreck, only but sporadically funny turn), who be- It’s also remarkable to see Goode fi - comforted by the mysterious appear- comes too inquisitive and potentially nally landing a role he can shine in, as ance of Charles (Goode), the charm- helpful to India. his previous leading eff orts have been ing, clean-cut younger brother of her What develops is an uncomfort- duds (Leap Year, Brideshead Revis- ited). Here is a performance of such unique peculiarity and fascination that he brings out much aura of am- biguity in his villainous character. He casually glides through and seduces his way into Evelyn and India’s world, almost hypnotising those around him (including one highly erotically charged piano duet). To further enhance the mystery element, director Park goes all out in creating such a vivid yet constantly haunting series of images and scen- ery, mounting one gothic set-piece after another. h e many references to classic fairy-tale stories here are FRIDAY 08 MARCH 55

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles FILM ﬁ [email protected] All Night at the Oscars (almost)

It’s your favourite time of year again. No, not the month long Easter holiday, it’s Imperial Cinema’s Spring All-Nighter. And do we have a treat for you. Four ﬁ lms nominated for the Best Picture Oscar, and to top it all off, vampires

1) To start it all, we have Lincoln. Daniel Day-Lewis does his very best ‘pick me sir, pick me’ for the Best Actor Oscar, and boy does it pay oﬀ . h e war scene at the beginning alone makes it worth the watch, and though the story is well known, slaves and war and things, this ﬁ lm is woven together so beautifully you cannot help but get swept away.

2) To continue the theme, we go from 3) Next up, it’s time to grab your tis- 4) Every Oscars needs a controversy, 5) Finally, we couldn’t resist taking the abolition of slavery to, well, slav- sues, hankies or perhaps the sleeves and this year that role was taken by you back to where it all began. It’s ery. h at’s right, it’s Quentin Taranti- of the unsuspecting stranger sat next Zero Dark h irty. Featuring a, well, the totally historically accurate and no’s latest baby – Django Unchained. to you. Get ready to sing along, or controversial, torture scene this fi lm, 100% true Abraham Lincoln: Vam- And don’t you worry, it’s as crazy as cry along, to Les Miserables. If you directed by Kathryn Bigelow – win- pire Hunter. Okay, maybe I lied about always. Not only is this an excellent watched the Oscars you would have ner of the 2010 best picture for the the previous two points, but here is a fi lm, but it’s also one of the few times seen an emotional Anne Hathaway Hurt Locker – does it again, this time fi lm that takes itself so seriously that that you can tell someone you are receive her best supporting actress with a gritty adaptation of the search it cannot help but be hilarious. watching a fi lm that includes whips award whilst crying, for a fi lm in for Bin-Laden. Which, according to and chains and not have them look at which most of her acting was crying. the tagline at least, is the greatest you judgingly. Have I mentioned that this fi lm is a manhunt in history. bit sad?

So there it is. Five ﬁ lms. Fourteen hours. h irteen miles of ﬁ lm. Are you man (or woman) enough to make it?

h e Cinema Spring-All Nighter is on the 19th March.

Tickets are £10 online, or £12 on the night, with individual ﬁ lms available on the door for £3.

Tickets available from tickets.im- perialcinema.co.uk 56 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

Games Editor: Ross Webster GAMES [email protected] All good things of this Earth... Andrew Ryan fears the strength of the majority vote. Should you?

taff and students of Impe- dent populace over the last few weeks. within the unrestricted power of the and protect yourself from your allies. rial College London, my Incurable democracy. majority, breeding paranoia like a fes- You will never know when the bitches name is Andrew Ryan. No So many of you are quick to despise tering wound. It may at fi rst encourage of the government will be working to Sdoubt many of you have those who place themselves supreme, development and growth but it soon undermine your name. Or rather, you heard of the city built upon those who name themselves kings, dic- devolves into carnage, with each man will never know if they may stop. free enterprise and thought - my city tators, despots. Now I ask of you - are left with a choice - to murder and rob, Rapture may not be perfect. Of of Rapture. those men your true enemies? A man or to be robbed and murdered fi rst. course, no society that allows parasites I’m writing here, in order to off er or woman who places themself on a h e parasite fi nds a welcome host to thrive within its walls can ever be. my services to you - the innovators pedestal is easy to topple, but what within the democratic mob. h e path to a utopian world is not an and entrepreneurs of the future. For about the mob that surrounds them? Why should you have these so-called easy one, nor can the yoke rest on one too long has the withering grip of gov- Democracy puts the power in the elected offi cials running your union? man’s shoulders. Only through the ernmental greed been wrapped tightly hands of the many. h e hands of those h ose whose manifestos may seem combined eff orts of every man, can around the throat of progress, stunting who are weak. h ose who are easily clear to clouded minds, but was writ- our society reach the greatness it de- the growth of our youth. With my help, swayed. Your colleagues can be part of ten by hands in the chaos of anonym- serves. your minds can envisage a world with this majority - your so-called friends ity. You are in the position to out these Yet, I am no self-proclaimed saviour out boundaries, or petty morality. Is it plotting your downfall. puppets, and reconstruct the way your of society. I built Rapture as a home for not your right to live an unstifl ed life, It is not those who are elected, who student union is built. A new system intellect and innovation, safe from the free to work and dream as you please? gain most from their time in power - it where innovation is rewarded, rather eyes of any God, or progress-fearing For the next few weeks, I will be is their allies. h e spiders on the web than a measure of who has the most mind. I have laid out the plans to let available to answer any of your ques- that supports them. h e nameless fi g- ‘friends’. you become the greatest you could tions - philosophical, economic and ures who profi t from the work of oth- My experience within Rapture has ever dream to be. To allow the man philanthropic. But today, I would like ers. h e unaccountable shadows who proven one thing - cold hard cash turns with the lesser mind, the weaker con- to talk to you about the contagion that pull the strings. more heads than notions of greed. viction, and yet the greatest number of Agony Lamb has been spreading amongst the stu- h e voice of the individual is lost Build your way to the top of the tower, allies, have power over you, is not just admitting defeat. It is spreading the Also from Rapture, we will have disease. the world renowned psychiatrist And so, I cordially invite you all, to Dr. Sophia Lamb joining us, to visit my stall at the forthcoming In- help you with any issues you have, dustrialist Fair. h ere will be places for regarding flatmates, friends, part- minds like yours, in my city. ners, and so on. The kind doctor is I look forward to your questions over also a specialist in child psychology the forthcoming weeks. With warmest and can help you with any father regards, Andrew Ryan. issues you may be feeling, whilst at Imperial. h anks Mr Ryan! If you have any ques- Any questions for Dr. Lamb can tions for Mr Ryan, please do not hesi- also be sent to felix.games@im- tate to email felix.games@imperial. perial.ac.uk, and the replies will ac.uk with the title “Ask Andrew”, and be posted here, unless you wish to we’ll pass them along to his people. keep everything confidential. Playing cops and robbers – a Police Force review

Ross Webster The Hamburgler a set length of time (30 minute real- virtual German city. time shifts) – once your main mission As you progress through your mis- is over, you still have time to answer sions, more of the city is unlocked, so From the pile of simulator games in the emergency calls and drive to the other you have more ground to traverse to Felix offi ce, this week’s random selec- side of town, to pick up more experi- catch your troublemakers, bank rob- tion is Police Force. From the maker of ence, and rank up. It might seem like a bers and ice cream trucks. h ere seems the hit title Emergency, Police Force sees cheesy way to force people to continue to be nothing in the way of unlockables you patrolling the streets of Germany, playing your game, but I like it – at least (apart from achievements), so there’s towing illegally parked cars, setting up on a fl avourful note – as a cop doesn’t little to get you experience farming, nor speed traps and arresting vandals. Plus, go home as soon as he’s arrested the much in the way of replayability. h e there’s a gun on the back cover. h at’s man responsible for putting up 5 post- audio’s simple but entertaining (mainly worth at least 2/10 on it’s own. ers around town. the sirens on the police car), and the You play as a pair of cops, with each h ere is a range of hi-tech equipment graphics keep it basic too – low, me- one having diff ering equipment, for available for you, such as pepper spray, dium and high, so it’ll work on nearly diff erent missions. h e controls are a handcuff s, walkie-talkies and a PDA. any computer built in this millenium. little odd, but it’s easy to get used to. Simply right click on someone, when I quite like the game, and might ac- You’ll be hitting pedestrians and cut- your handcuff s are out, and they’re ar- tually keep it installed for a bit, to play ting your wages short after a tempo- rested. If someone’s car was totalled in it on a rainy day. For those of you who rary suspension, in no time at all. Now, a collision, get the tow company out want the cutting edge in games, good Hmm. It says ‘Police’ rather that’s the thing – you have a main mis- there in seconds at the press of a but- news! h e sequel – Police Force 2, is out than ‘Polizei’. Maybe the real sion (i.e. do a license registration check ton. Nothing too fancy or complicated in 8 days. patrol car’s in the shop... on 35 vehicles), but it’s not over when – yet it still gives you a nice warm feel- And no, you can’t shoot the civilians. you’re done. You play each mission for ing for helping out the society of this I tried. Lots. march gig guide Super every tuesday every wednesday 20:00 - 22:00 19:00 - 01:00 £2.00 QUIZ free metric Friday 1 & 8 March SOC thursday 7 march 20:00-02:00 20:00-01:00 / £1.00 / metric OFF Dress as your subject - top 3 Dep Socs £2.50 2.0 with most attendees take all entry fees! Gladiator Duelling and Sumo Suit metric Wrestling on the night.

the BIG 1st Friday 15 March ELECTIONS 20:00-02:00 / free 2013 RESULTS PARTY WHO WILL WIN? Metric STTPATRICK’S CELEBRATIONS WE ARE METRIC NIGHTS Musical theatre Japanese Soc saturdaysaturday 1166 mmarcharch / 119:009:00 - 223:003:00 Quiz Night Thursday 14 March A celebration of Irish music and culture, Saturday 2 March 19:00 - 23:30 with live music and warm atmosphere union bar 19:00 - 01:00

EASTER 17:00-03:00 all bars Carnival £2.50 before 19:00 Friday 22 March £4.00 after

Saturday 9 March Sunday 10 March Saturday 16 March 6 nations Rugby Scotland vs Wales 14:30 England vs Italy 15:00 Italy vs Ireland 14:30 Ireland vs France 17:00 Wales vs England 17:00 in fivesixeight France vs Scotland 20:00

HOUSE SPIRIT & MIXER Tequila Rose (Shot) Baby Guinness (Shot) ONLY £2.00 ONLY £1.30 ONLY £1.50 Every Wed & Fri from Strawberry ﬂavoured Only available St Patrick’s march 18:00 in all bars Every day in all bars week, 11 - 17 March Beck’s Bier bottle Amaretto Disaronno Irish Mud (Shot) ONLY £2.10 & mixer ONLY £1.50 Every day in all bars ONLY £2.00 Only available St Patrick’s offers Every day in all bars week, 11 - 17 March imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on 58 FRIDAY 08 MARCH

HANGMAN [email protected]

Rap Lyric of Hangman election poster the Week Struggling with campaigning? Not even running for anything but desperately want Macklemore: “Thrift to get involved in all the campaigning fun? Cut this out and stick it on the walkway... Shop”

“Walk up to the club like, “What up, I got a big cock””

Presumably the bouncer will then say “yeah, cheers mate, get your ID out and go to the back of the line”. Plus “big” doesn’t give us a detailed analysis. For all we know, you could be rocking a chode. Plus, that’s a generally crass and dickish (pun intended) way of introducing Bigger and better Union somehow yourself to everyone. £100 for every student each year People laugh at you all the time? CUNT!!!!!! To be fair you are a massive Will not mention my position on my CV Oops. Soz. Can‛t swear on posters. Insert pic here Forget that part plz. loser. Anyway... Send stuff in: Will use Comic Sans in poster imperialcollegeunion.org/erection [email protected]

THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS the turnip Hangman’s Finest College News Source Candidate will make everything perfect, manifesto conﬁ rms

candidate in the elec- about democracy, and, to be tions, Jamie Lussey, frank, almost lost my vote. has confi rmed that his But then, bam, he gave me election will make “eve- some really nice sweets and rything much better”. said ‘don’t be fussy, vote for AHe went on to state that “everything Lussey’. I mean, that’s classic The sweets that will be transparent in the Union”, BANTER. I bet it took him, he has report- referring to his plan to make the en- like, 5 minutes to think of edly been giving tire building glass lined. He also said that”. out for free. there will be “greater student involve- Mr Lussey also confi rmed ment in stuff or something”. When that he would be removing en- BERLUSCONI questioned on this point he retorted trance charges from the Union, that he “hadn’t had time to think of but with the stipulation that the details” as he “was attempting to they keep charging at the en- re-write his CV in preparation for his trance of the Union. He also guaranteed election”. At this point confi rmed that his fl agship AWAITS STI the interview was cut short as he had policy of “professionalism” to get into his fancy dress costume was indeed “just buzzwords” and buy sweets to throw at people. as “let’s face it, nobody gives a h e Turnip asked some students in shit what they say, they usually the JCR what they thought of the can- just vote based on the picture didate after he talked to them. h ey or what their friend tells them TEST RESULTS said: “Well, he said some boring shit to do”. FRIDAY 08 MARCH 59

[email protected] HANGMAN

WWANNABEANNABE Lack of CCENTREFOLDENTREFOLD THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS OOFF TTHEHE WWEEKEEK sexual partners at Imperial causes student to resort to kitchen appliances

Got a photo of someone being a waste of a student ADIDAS INNOVATES WITH loan? Get permission, then just send it to us at: felix@ imperial.ac.uk NEW RIOT WEAR RANGE DISGUISTOSCOPES – HORRIBLE HOROSCOPES CANCER TAURUS GEMINI VIRGO ARIES LEO

This week you have a fl aky This week you genetically en- This week you’re grazing in a This week you are furtively pick- This week the festering This week you are extracting vagina, and the dead skin is gineer your crabs so they glow club. But you’re pretty drunk, ing your nose but haven’t cut baked bean can by your an ingrown hair from your bi- peeling off like you’ve been in the dark. You entice a guy and get carried away. Next your fi ngernails in months. You sink grows so much bacteria kini line when it comes alive nude sunbathing for a week in back to yours, but his boner thing you know you’re chok- hook your pinky talon round a that it comes to life. It starts and grows to a metre long. It 40 degree heat. It’s fl aking so shrinks faster than the speed ing on a pube hairball - you’ve particularly meaty bogey and its new sadistic existence by dives back into your skin then bad that it feels like your whole of sound when he sees your mistaken gorgeous curls for begin the evacuation. But then fl aying you alive with the jag- emerges again, and begins labia is sloughing off, and fl uorescent minge, creating a an unpruned lady garden, and you realise it’s actually your ged edge of its lid to replen- sewing up your labia until all you’re trailing dead skin like sonic boom that sprays your she won’t let you stop til she’s brain: the last thing you see be- ish its contents: your diced that’s left is a conspicuous you’re scattering the ashes of glowing pets on the ceiling. suffocated you with minge pie fore you lose consciousness is up organs become the new black line of running-stitch all Henry VIII. Time to buy some It’s like lying under the stars to- and sweaty lady gravy, min- coils of your cerebrum congeal- beans; your blood the toma- the way up to your anus. moisturiser. gether, but a lot less romantic. gled with your own vomit. ing on a pile on the fl oor. toey sauce. CAPRICORN SAGITTARIUS AQUARIUS SCORPIO PISCES LIBRA

This week, after fi nishing ex- This week, you have fi nished This week you are a blue This week you are so sleep This week you are in the library This week you must choose be- ams for the year and going to exams for the year, effectively morphsuit. Some evil account- deprived from 2 months of when your genital cravings tween queefing every time you a ‘drinks with lecturers’ event giving you a summer with no ancy fi rm think it would be impossible deadlines and all overwhelm you, so you turn to speak and having a constant (see: free booze), you decide exams, instead you ‘do your funny to put you on a sweaty nighters that you fall asleep in your pencil case in despera- trickle of diarrhoea out of your bel- that the best course of action dissertation’, a 6000 word lab man as he and 4 of his mates the JCR. The pie shop has run tion. You cram highlighters up ly button. You could pretend to be would be to show your head of report for 10 weeks based on dance around with some very out of beef for their pies, but your vag like you’re trying to mute to avoid queefing, but learn- department a video of you do- counting birds or something loose connection to career op- keen not to be caught out in dam the Thames, but the pres- ing sign language would be tedi- ing embarrassing things with (not including your 5 week eas- portunities. He isn’t wearing the horsemeat scandal, they sure of the river of lust causes ous. Alternatively, the diarrhoea a sex-toy. Noone else does. ter holiday) that you can leave any clothes underneath and chop you up instead and en- them to shoot out at high would be less immediately restric- Worst of all, you get weirdly until the last day before bashing you end up rubbing against his case chunks of your fl esh in speed at the bookshelf, and tive but the smell would always turned on while watching it. out in an epic all-nighter. Twat pubic hair on you. pastry. Pint? they rebound up your nostrils. prevail. What’s it going to be? 60 FRIDAY 08 MARCH Puzzles Commanders: Sotirios Karamitsos, PUZZLES Louisa Byrne [email protected] Crossword

17. Wife of a duke (7) the resistance (6) perjurer (repentant, finally) is 18. Ailment (6) 22. Mash one clammy turnip - coming up (7) 19. Art technique (7) that’s not very nice (15) 8. All mobile company embraces 20. Come (from) (7) 23. Drop dead, unfeeling old fo- really functioning (8) 21. Chinese tree (6) gey! (3-4) 9. Seed: half of it’s no different (6) 24. Hole with heap scattered 15. Scully initially, then her part- around - words for someone who’s ner, consuming type of blood stew gone (7) (8) Cryptic clues 25. Frantic desire to live (6) 17. High-ranking woman of the 26. Frenchman after group of French game (7) criminals creating moral decay (8) 18. Disease results from boy enter- Across ing girl (6) 19. Over time, worker on short 1. Here you might see feasts I de- Down contract makes paint (7) vour (8) 20. Give out drug guy swallowed 5. Disloyal? Not so (6) 1. Den beneath part of London for (7) 10. All I cry about is musical (7) pastry (6) 21. Something fruity: a bit of willy 11. Lettie N: funny name (7) 2. It makes sheep sick, that is, after - cheeky! (6) 12. Being thick, I’m confused, in- a fight (7) ept, barely grasping it (15) 3. Number two to direct scam/ 13. Length of time for ten old racket, mark taken in (6-2-7) pence (6) 4. Enlarged death’s head overdue 14. Level of authority Leon plied in identification (7) over revolutionary (7) 6. Although nigh, town distant, bi- 16. Two girls climax a little (7) zarrely (15) 19. Rope restraining animal: note 7. Another hearing concerning

Quick clues 23. Film starring Bruce Willis (3, 4) 24. Gravestone inscription (7) Last week’s solutions 25. Dwell (6) Across 26. Mortification (8) Nonogram 1. Uni restaurant and bar (8) Hint: 5. False (6) Down 10. Wax ______: be enthusiastic Fill in both (7) 1. Type of cake (6) 11. Authorise (7) 2. Ovine disease (7) top corner 12. Property of being impossible to 3. Deputy (6-2-7) understand (15) 4. Became wider (7) squares. 13. Full stop, in America (6) 6. Despite (15) 14. Military formation (7) 7. The same case coming to court a 16. Small amount (7) second time(7) 19. At the end of one’s ______: 8. All and sundry (8) exasperated (6) 9. Ingredient of tahini (6) 22. Insulting (15) 15. Burn without a flame (8)

3 2 1 2 1 2 Hashi FUCWIT 223 2 League Table 2 2 2 2 Connect all the is- 2 2 2 21lands with bridges TEAMS 2 3 3 Requiem for a Bean 60 2 1 4 3 so that you can get from any island to any Sexy Beasts 31 1 1 0 2 2 other one. There are G.A.Y.S. 4 restrictions, though: I ate all your bees 4 2 3 3 3 3 4 6 5 54the bridges have to be either vertical or hori- INDIVIDUALS 2 2 2 3 2 3 Yufan Zhao 46 zonal and they must Slitherlink 2 3 7 5 13not intersect. You can Wael Aljeshi 44 1 2 1 22 Helix 29 1 have up to two bridges between any two M-Soup 25 3 1 223 2 6 5 33islands and, last but Tan Wei Jie 11 not least, each island Tan Yu 12 3 1 2 2 1 2 must have exactly as Gabriel Quek 4 13 112 many bridges stem- ming from it as the Send your answers to puzzles. Once more, the rules: draw a single closed loop by vertically and horizontally join- 2 2222number on it. [email protected], because, ing the dots so that the numbered squares are surrounded by the corresponding honestly, why not? number of lines. FRIDAY 08 MARCH 61 Puzzles Commanders: Sotirios Karamitsos Louisa Byrne PUZZLES [email protected]

That tiny thing won’t hurt us...

The numbers in each row and column tell you how many groups of black squares are in a row Will it? See last week’s or column, as well as how many black squares each group is made up of. Filling in the grid produces a pretty picture, which in turn pro- solutions for a hint. duces points if you send it in, so get solving!

5 6 2 4 8 6 4 4 6 Ophis 2 Fill the cells with a continuous line (the 2 “snake”) that does not pass through a cell twice, 6 doesn’t intersect with itself, and passes through 6 all white boxes (but no black boxes). The num- 9 bers show you how many times the snake turns in 2 the corresponding row or column. The snake 6 enters and exits the grid at the shown points (and only those points). 8 4 everynation.co.uk

SUNDAYS ACTIVITY SPACE 1

Free café – 5:30 FRIDAY 08 MARCH 63

Sport Editors: Oli Benton, Margot Pikovsky, Sorcha Cotter SPORT [email protected] IC Devils Champion at Ice Varsity

Tim Runcorn Ice Hockey President Halford pounced on a loose puck national league player found himself coughed up by their goalie follow- on a 1 on 0 and fi red a slap-shot into ing a stinging shot from Dan Belair. the top-shelf to leave the game fi nely h e Imperial Devils ice hockey team Once both teams got settled, the Dev- poised at 4-2 after the fi rst period. clinched the inaugural London Ice ils scored two more in quick succes- h e fi rst half of the second period Varsity title with a 7-3 smashing of the sion with some silky stick handling by was a cagey aff air with lots of hits but UCL Yetis in a feisty contest that saw h eo Sion and a laser beam of a shot few clear chances until a defensive the Devils live up to their name, rack- from Gus Zimmerman. h e momen- lapse let the Yetis close the lead to a ing up more than a period’s worth of tum of the three goal advantage was single goal. h e Devils were unable to penalty minutes. After a rousing ren- somewhat dampened when the Yetis respond immediately, fi nding them- dition of the national anthem by our went on a 4v3 power play after Ryan selves on a series of PKs after DPFS resident Canadian operatic Trent Al- Ritchie took exception to the Yetis Stefan Nubert earned a double shift len, the game started in earnest when giving it the handbags with our cap- in the penalty box settling a disagree- barely a minute into play the Devils tain Dan and ended up in the penalty ment over a neck-high check from found themselves on the penalty kill box for his eff orts. Following another the opposition. But respond they did, (PK) after Rich Barlow threw a robust dubious interference call against the when Captain Dan substantiated his hit that sent the UCL player into the Devils, the Yetis reduced the defi cit title not once but twice, decking the boards but was deemed interference. to two but it was short lived as Dan Yetis defence out of their jockstraps h e Yetis failed to capitalise on their converted on a beautiful pass from and eff ortlessly sliding the puck past man advantage, a constant theme deep in our zone by Kurt Kolb. h e the hapless Yetis keeper. h e comple- capacity crowd that transformed the throughout the game, and the Dev- Devils were made to pay for their tion of Dan’s hat-trick restored the on-ice battle into a full-scale grudge ils quickly went a goal up when Paul complacency, however, when the Yetis three goal advantage leaving it 6-3 go- match, providing the most memora- ing into the third and fi nal period. ble of hockey games for all those in- Any hopes the Yetis had of getting volved. back into the game were quickly put If you missed out on the London Ice to bed at the start of the third when Varsity you can see the mighty Impe- Paul one-timed a beautiful snap-shot rial Devils take on their other derby ri- off a perfectly weighted pass from vals the London Dragons in their fi nal Ryan. h e increasingly desperate Yetis game of the season on Saturday 10th were kept at bay by a ridiculous num- March. Face off is at 9pm at Brixton ber of unbelievable saves from our Ice Arena (a couple mins walk from goalie Marco Hafner and some physi- Brixton Underground station on the cal play that lead to our penalty box Victoria line) and it’s completely free looking like a second team bench. h e to watch and will be fi nished before game ended in a convincing 7-3 victo- the last tube. Expect a lot of goals and ry and a thoroughly deserved man of huge hits, following the Devils’ Varsity the match went to Marco, who robbed success they are looking to put more the Yetis forwards so many times that past the Dragons than the 16-2 drub- only a bricked-up goalmouth could bing on the previous outing of the two have kept more out. h e crushing vic- teams. Email ice-hockey@imperial. tory was rapturously received by the ac.uk for more information about the Imperial section of the 250 strong game or learning to play ice hockey.

Netball’s season: highs lows and Funday! ICUNC President Nancy Edge reflects on her season

Oli Benton Sports Editor fected out promotion chances” We’re also looking to enter a fourth a goal difference of 267 for example, is a fun informal netball tournament Indeed the story of their current team into BUCS this year. We al- over the next couple of seasons of being held at South Parks in Fulham. league standings (3rd, 4th and 5th ready run two LUSL teams, so it promotion and relegation will level Played in fancy dress with teams of Passionate about her sport, Nan- for their 1st 2nd and 3rd teams should be a pretty smooth step up.” them out. It’s great because it gives 7-10 people, BYOB and open to all cy has led the netball club from respectively) looked completely The reception to LUSL, the new us a chance to experience differ- abilities, tickets are £20 per team strength to strength this year; with different before Christmas, with sports league to replace the ULU ent styles of play and play different and available from the netball web- increased membership, more so- the 2’s having only lost one league leagues, has been completely mixed. teams to the BUCS leagues.” site (www.icunc.co.uk) or from the cials and coming so close to pro- game, and all three teams push- Football, hockey and netball have Not only has Nancy’s reign been a JCR on Monday lunchtime. motion. Despite the difficulties of a ing on to gain the coveted top spot slipped into the new system seam- success on the court (she personally “Another big social we have is a plague of injuries and sponsorship which guarantees promotion, but lessly, while hardly a game has been has moved up two teams this year), club night at Piccadilly institute on woes, ICUNC has had a good year unfortunately it was not to be. Now played in the rugby leagues. Cer- it has been a huge success off it, Thursday the 21st of March. It’ll be even with potential wins at Varsity that promotion has all but slipped tainly netball, with five competing with the socials going from strength £5 in, £9 for a jug of cocktail and full to look forward to. through their fingers ICUNC’s at- teams have switched without dra- to strength. of Netballers ‘fresh’ from Annual “Membership has gone up again tention turns to Varsity. ma. “Netball Funday is bigger and bet- dinner.” this year; which is a good thing “I think we’ve got a very good “LUSL has been really good for ter than last years, we’re expecting With a couple of huge social nights considering the difficulties of in- chance against the Medics. The 2s all our teams. While some of the over 100 people and as it’s on St. coming up, potential wins at Varsity juries we’ve had. We lost key play- won last year and the 3s, while they leagues aren’t quite right yet as they Patricks day there’ll probably be a and an increase in numbers ICUNC ers across four teams which really came so close last year have already are new and some teams are too high few drinks involved too” is finishing the season strong. stretched us and undoubtedly af- beaten the Medics 3s this season. or low, UCL 3rds have won 9/9 with For those not in the know, Funday See you at Funday! 08/03/13 Issue 1543 felixonline.co.uk @SportFelix

SPORT “Keep the Cat Free” ICSM Girls Promoted with game in hand!

Rosie Belcher Ladies 1s Captain more at ours, but I would say that! With frustrations running high we really needed another goal to secure the game. Having checked the league table a mil- Play picked up and the pizazz we had lion times (no exaggeration!), we all demonstrated all season fi nally resur- knew this was the big one, the one to faced, proving we were deserved league win. ICSM Ladies 1st XI was undoubt- winners. Some excellent insight from edly two points clear with a game in centre mid-fi elder Charlotte Read gave hand. A win on this surprisingly sunny captain Rosie another chance to slot a March morning would lead us into the goal away from the top of the D. With fi nal match of the season, against sec- the score now comfortably 3-1, this gave ond place Barts 1’s, inevitable champi- us the “shot in the arm” we needed to ons! No pressure… fi nish the game with the majestic play Despite missing two key players, there we knew we were capable of. was a quiet confi dence amongst the On the fi nal whistle, we all attempted, team. h is may have been due the ad- and I most defi nitely failed, to control dition of a strong second team player our excitement for a polite ‘three cheers’ boosting our squad, Fiona Field, or the and hand-shake, before the whooping, birthday luck Elke Wynberg brings each cheering and ecstatic skipping began! year. Maybe even the fact that we were h e umpires were only paid on the entering the match with a string of wins, agreement they would take a celebra- cumulating in a thrashing of our self- tory photo, “h anks Roger”. See inset, proclaimed league rivals, Vet’s 1’s, the “It’s not two chins, it’s a neck!” C. Read. team who had previously hospitalised It may not have been the prettiest our star defender, Harriet Davidson! h e hockey we have played all season but fi rst whistle went and action stations the fi nal score, defi nitely refl ected all the were go, we started with the same pace hard work each and every member of and excellence we have demonstrated the team has put in this season. h anks throughout the season; beautiful, accu- guys!! rate passing, dynamic movement off the tinuous pressure from the opposition Medics defence. agitated. We had had a good half with A special mention needed for our ball and teamwork second to none. and our fi rst goal came from a break Two goals up, the half was coming plenty of opportunities but had only put wonderful and dynamic forwards, Lees, However the confi dence we main- from top forward Charlotte Lees. Faced to an end, but the action wasn’t over two away; even the umpire agreed we Nat, Claudia and fi nal year Alison who tained throughout the warm-up and with a one on one against the already yet. GKT had kept the pressure high should have been at least 4-1 up! With have given us the boost we needed to fi rst ten minutes, was quickly dashed proved, excellent keeper, Lees kept her throughout the half and fi nally made thirty-fi ve minutes left of the game to reach our potential this season! And when we realised this was something we cool and the ball sailed over the keep- a successful break leaving the ICSM clinch the league we vowed to go out thank you to the twos captain, Becky, were going to have to fi ght for. GKT 2’s, ers dive into the top of the net. Our sec- defence in tatters as they knocked one and put an end to them, we wanted this. who has never turned me down when our competent opposition, were not go- ond goal came from a well-earned short past our goalie in a two-on-one, gutted! h e second half saw an unsatisfying I have been stuck! What a confi dence ing to make this easy for us. corner; a set piece led captain, Rosie Going into half time with the score of twenty minutes for both teams with boost for Varsity! Bring it on… Lucky We sustained our fi nesse despite con- Belcher, to drive another past the Kings 2-1 our goalmouth half time chat was fruitless attacks at both ends, defi nitely for who? Us I hope. Riders rev up for Regionals

Rachel Gregory Captain lazy cob called Vinnie, and despite his a piebald mare who loved jumping and unwillingness to move, Andre won on was surprisingly fast, producing a clear his horse as well, which was helped by round. Rachel was second to go on her Imperial College’s fi rst riding team’s the Royal Holloway rider who couldn’t horse, Cody, a steadfast and reliable penultimate competition was hosted get Vinnie going. Claudia Saksida was black cob who did the minimum eff ort by the University of Kent. Although a our fi nal rider on her horse Cashew, to go clear. Andre was the third rider bit cloudy on the long, early morning a chestnut sports horse. Claudia also on Lady, a pretty grey mare, and he also drive to Canterbury, by the time we rode a fantastic test to leave the Impe- went clear. Our fi nal rider was Liane, arrived the sun was shining. rial team in fi rst after the dressage on 0 riding Warrior, who had already elimi- h e dressage phase was fi rst as penalties, ahead of Kent on 26 penalties nated a rider from LSE, and Liane rode normal in the morning, and the four in second, Royal Holloway in third on a careful, calm and most importantly horses were an interesting mix! Liane 80 penalties and LSE on 127 penalties. clear round. Marshallsay rode Willy, an enthusiastic We all had lunch in the sunshine be- We had a tense wait for the results dark bay cob, fi rst and she rode a really fore walking the showjumping course. as we knew they would be close as all accurate test to win on Willy, putting We were slightly disappointed by the the jumping rounds were fairly simi- 5 penalties on our nearest rivals Kent. height, but not surprised because lar, with no major disasters to sepa- Tomorrow’s burger h e second rider was captain, Rachel at our home competition two riders rate the riders. When the results were Gregory, who rode a Kodjak: a dark from LSE had fallen off ! h e horses are announced the team had come fi rst, brown, surprisingly fast cob. Rachel shown before we have to ride them, and Andre was 1st, Rachel 2nd, Liane 5th rode an accurate test to put 11 penal- the last horse to go, Warrior, was a bit and Claudia 8th. As a result the team Providing the team doesn’t come last individually and is guaranteed a place ties on the rider from Kent’s team. An- diffi cult, which was slightly disconcert- are well-placed to qualify for regionals, we will have qualifi ed! Individually, at regionals and Andre is second, with dre Wilmes was third and rode a really ing! Claudia was the fi rst to go on Holly, with the fi nal competition next week. Rachel is currently lying in fi rst place Liane in 4th and Claudia in =9th.