HOME from HOME: GLAMPING Camping with Comfort in Mind

EASTERN AIRWAYS IN-FLIGHT

37 | Autumn 2011

HOME FROM HOME: GLAMPING camping with comfort in mind

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: HEBRIDEAN HOTELS WORLD HERITAGE SITES DAVID ATTENBOROUGH AND LOTS, LOTS MORE

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www.flexlife.co.uk WELCOME daily by Eastern Airways services to Leeds Bradford and Exploration Express visits Bristol, now served three times stays in a classy castle and meets a prince. farm to try “glamping” in a luxury yurt, while Stan Abbott tion spectrum. Tom Boden and his family go down on the Our lifestyle features cover two ends of the accommoda distant shores in our celebrity interview. David Attenborough reflects on journeys to much more hotel in the Outer Hebrides, while “national treasure” Sir success of very different approaches to running a small We fly west to find out how two couples are making a transport too. break in the Aberdeen area, with top-of-the-range There’s even a chance to win a five-star luxury golfing Scotland’s most exciting golf development. out novice alongside news about how things are going at the golf course, with something of interest for the out-and- This issue sees us picking up our clubs and heading for family and friends! – yours to take away and pass round your Welcome to the Eastern Airways Magazine L’équipe Eastern et notre magazine. comment toujours heureux derecevoir vos qui faitladifférence, etsommes vos besoins,aveccepetitplus vous noustrouverez attentifsà vols réguliers. Nousespérons que britan principales compagniesaériennes AirwaysfigureEastern parmiles magazine. de la part de Eastern Airways Grande-Bretagne et d’Europe Bienvenue à tous nos clients de BIENVENUE niques offrant unservicede aires sur notr e service

Eastern-teamet og magasinet. kommentarer ombådeservicen Vi setteralltidprispååmottadine ekstra somerprikkenoveri-en. – ogatdentilbyrdegdetlille være medservicenvår fornøyd ruteflyselskap. Vihåperatduvil Storbritannias ledende Airwayseretav Eastern Europa velkommen. våre kunderiStorbritanniaog Airwaysmagasinetønsker Eastern VELKOMMEN - THE EASTERN TEAM THE EASTERN So enjoy your flight and we hope to see you again soon! on board punctual, reliable flights. customers on flexible tickets, and the high quality service security at many airports, business lounge access for you select your flight, and continues through fast-track service and attention to detail. That attention begins when magazine, which is an important element in our quality We hope you find something that takes your fancy in our and Southampton. key routes from our main hub at Aberdeen to Stavanger from Glasgow to Stavanger and additional frequencies on Other news from Eastern Airways includes a new route the UK and France. diversity of World Heritage Sites near our destinations in Aberdeen, while our Essential Guide reveals the rich Sgioba Eastern is muarn-iris,achluinntinn. beachdan munt-seirbheis againn, tha sinnan-còmhnaidhtoilichteur agus beaganeadar-dhealaichte – seirbheis, andàchuid,cùramach dòchas gummeassibhar clàraichte naRA.Thasinnan prìomh làn-sheirbheiseanadhair Airwaysammeasg Tha Eastern Eòrp. bho Bhreatainn agusanRoinn air arluchd-cleachdaidhgulèir Airwaysa’curfàilte Tha Eastern FÀILTE Tîm Eastern cylchgrawn. am eingwasanaeth acamein yn falchogaeleich sylwadau yn wahanol–rydynnibobamser yn ungofalusacychydigbach gwelwch chifodeingwasanaeth o wasanaethau.Gobeithioy DU sy’ncynnigamserlenlawn prif gwmnïauawyrennau yny Airwaysymhlithy Mae Eastern rhan oBrydainFawracEwrop. un o’ncwsmeriaidymmhob magazine, ibob Croeso Airways ganEastern CROESO Did you spend all morning trying to ﬁ nd your boss the right hotel?

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We know how long it can take to ﬁ nd you the most suitable options on ﬂ ights and hotels for your business trips. But with access to advanced booking systems and expert advice, we think we can provide a better choice more quickly, and save you time compared to booking yourself on the web. It’s time to put our travel management service to the test. Aberdeen • Glasgow • Southampton

Kintyre House, Request more information by contacting Bill on 209 Govan Road, Glasgow G51 1HJ 0141 427 9410 or email [email protected] Tel: 0141 427 9410 Email: [email protected] The Professionals’ Choice for Business, Marine and Offshore Travel www.clydetravel.com

SPAA Best Scottish Business Travel Agent 2010/11 CONTENTS CONTENTS

34 GLAMPING 26 HEBRIDEAN HOTELS 22 BRISTOL

REGULARS FOCUS ON GOLF FEATURES 07 EASTERN AIRWAYS NEWS 17 GREEN WITH ENVY 26 HOT HEBRIDEAN Everything that’s happening Donald Trump’s billion dollar golf HOTELS around the Eastern Airways course looks a real winner A tale of two hotels on the network right now western edge of Britain 18 TOP HOLE 22 EXPLORATION EXPRESS: Stan Abbott takes up the 30 SIR DAVID BRISTOL challenge to become a golfing ATTENBOROUGH All aboard for a guide to the “pro” – in two days Broadcaster, naturalist and maritime city national icon, Sir David talks 21 COMPETITION about life and butterflies 25 LATEST GADGETS Win a golfing break for two in The arc has arrived... Aberdeenshire 33 WILD WEEKEND Fun and highland games at 36 BARE ESSENTIALS Ackergill Tower’s August Open Eastern Airways’ network map, House Party passenger information and destination guides 34 GOING GLAMPING Tom Boden finds life under canvas 49 BITTER EXPERIENCE has changed since he was a lad Alastair Gilmour thinks beer names are getting dafter by 46 ESSENTIAL GUIDE: the day WORLD HERITAGE SITES All within easy reach of our 50 THE LAST WORD destinations Going to the gym is not an option for Harry Pearson

Eastern Airways in-flight magazine is published © September 2011. All rights reserved. No part of this Eastern Airways, Schiphol House, Humberside for Eastern Airways by Gravity Magazines, Abbey magazine may be reproduced by any means, without International Airport, Kirmington, North Lincolnshire Business Centre, Abbey Road, Pity Me, Durham, prior written permission of the copyright owners. DN39 6YH DH1 5JZ Although every effort has been made to ensure the Communications Manager: Darren Roberts www.gravity-consulting.com accuracy of the information in this magazine, neither e-mail: [email protected] the publisher, nor Eastern Airways can accept any Telephone: + 44 (0)8703 669669 Telephone: +44 (0)191 383 2838 liability for errors or omissions. Reservations: + 44 (0)8703 669100 Publisher: Stan Abbott www.easternairways.com Design: Barbara Allen ISSN: 2044-7124 For magazine comments: Advertising: Liz Reekie Previously known as e-magazine, ISSN 1477-3031. [email protected] Telephone: +44 (0) 7563 796103 e-mail: [email protected] Print: Acorn Web Offset Ltd, Normanton, West Yorkshire Front cover by BlueBristol RiverFrontcover/ by imageChris – Hartley 5 6

SPONSORED EDITORIAL: CLOSE HOUSE John said: “It’s not every day you get to clubhouse and golf academy. course and state-of-the art glass championship Colt course, Filly golf investment that includes the can’t quite believe the growth and today. Seven years down the line, John it into the sought after location that it is Newcastle University and transformed Wylie purchased Close House from Graham Wylie. founder of software giant Sage, on by North East entrepreneur, and Formerly at Slaley Hall, John was taken at Close House, in Northumberland. was appointed Golf General Manager John Glendinning was just 26 went he Golf General Manager at Close House, Northumberland PROFILE: JOHN GLENDINNING new golf facilities opening of Close House’s Lee Westwood at the

ice climbing and anything involved with works hard and plays hard, counting A self confessed “speed junkie”, John the hard work worth it.” was a ‘pinch me’ moment that made all Course and No. 19 Clubhouse and it Professional. He opened our new Colt Westwood being our Attached Tour dreamt that this would lead to Lee was just in my mid 20s. I just never here. They took a chance on me when I and Alan Graham who is a director “I really respect both Graham Wylie something, then it happens. Graham. If he says we are going to do lucky to work with someone like meet Lee Westwood and I feel very www.closehouse.co.uk children and lives in Crawcrook, Ryton. John Glendinning is 34, has two from work.” personally, but it helps me to switch off get to see. It is a big challenge seeing views that most people never travel all over the UK and Europe – the most amazing places and we get to extreme sports is that they tend to be in John continued: “The best part about and the training involved is intense. see him climbing as high as 14,000 feet France. A personal challenge, this will on a major climb at Chamonix, in training hard for three months to take speed in his hobbies. He has been No. 19 Clubhouse EASTERN AIRWAYS NEWS NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS DESTINATIONS NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS

Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre, Glasgow Cabot Circus, Bristol

NEW SERVICE FROM GLASGOW BRISTOL MEANS BUSINESS WITH TO STAVANGER MORE FLIGHTS NORTH

Eastern Airways has launched a three times weekly Eastern Airways is increasing frequency on its daily services service linking Glasgow and Stavanger, effective from linking Bristol with Leeds Bradford and Aberdeen. There will September 12. now be three rather than two return flights daily to each destination, starting from October 3. The new flights operate on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with fares starting from £99 one way, including Weekday flights to Leeds Bradford and Aberdeen will depart taxes and charges. Bristol at 0645; 1205 (Mon-Wed), 1345 (Thu-Fri); and 1715 (Mon-Wed), and 1800 (Thu-Fri). Flights from Aberdeen to Monday and Wednesday flights will leave Stavanger at 0920 Bristol depart at 0650; 1130 (Mon-Wed), 1500 (Thu-Fri); and and arrive in Glasgow at 0950. Return flights depart 1700. Leeds Bradford flights to Bristol take off at 0815; 1255 Glasgow at 1020 and arrive in Stavanger at 1320. All times (Mon-Wed), 1620 (Thu-Fri); and 1835. Sunday services will are local. continue from Bristol to both Leeds Bradford and Aberdeen. On Fridays, flights will depart Stavanger at 1000 and arrive Debra Dupret, Eastern Airways’ Area Sales Manager, South, in Glasgow at 1030. Services take off from Glasgow at 1100 said: “We’re providing business travellers with greater choice and land in Stavanger at 1330 local time. and flexibility. Passengers will be able to maximise day visits, Kay Ryan, Eastern Airways’ Commercial Director, said: “A saving valuable time and also benefit from an improved new convenient route to Stavanger from Glasgow will not choice of afternoon and evening flights at the end of the week only benefit offshore workers who live in central Scotland, when returning home.” but also Norwegian contractors and businesses with links in Shaun Browne, Bristol International Airport’s Aviation Director, Glasgow and the surrounding region. said: “Eastern Airways’ services are vital for organisations in “We will monitor the service and look to increase frequency this region wishing to do business in Yorkshire or north east if there’s high demand for more flights.” Scotland, and the improved frequency to these destinations will also make the route more attractive for leisure Amanda McMillan, Managing Director at Glasgow Airport, passengers.” said: Tony Hallwood, Leeds Bradford International Airport’s “The new route is fantastic news for leisure travellers who Commercial and Aviation Development Director, said: “Leeds www.VisitBristol.co.uk would like to visit Norway’s spectacular fjords and waterfalls Bradford welcomes the decision by EasternBaku: Airways capital to and and for business travellers who want easier access to increase flight frequency to both Bristol andlargest Aberdeen. port of Stavanger, one of Europe’s most famous oil and gas Yorkshire businesses can now take advantageAzerbaijan of increased and the capitals.” flexibility in their travel plans to both the SouthCaucasus West regionand Services to Stavanger are also offered by Eastern Airways Scotland. We also look forward to working alongside from Aberdeen and Newcastle. Welcome to Yorkshire to attract an increasing number of leisure travellers to the region.” Glasgow: Scotland with style / / style with Scotland Glasgow: Your assurance partner

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0845 600 1828 www.bureauveritas.co.uk www.regionstavanger.com / Paul Smit/IMAGO / Christophe Fouquin NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS DESTINATIONS SOUTH COAST NOW EVEN CLOSER maximise their day visits to North East “Business commuters will be able to Southampton. be offered to Aberdeen from A Sunday service continues to (Mon-Thu) and 1855 (Friday only). 1150 (Tue-Thu), 1415 (Friday only), 1630 at 0650 (Tue-Fri), 0905 (Monday only), From Aberdeen, weekday flights depart (Mon-Thu). (Tue-Thu), 1635 (Friday only) and 1845 0905 (Tue-Fri), 1120 (Monday only), 1410 Southampton at 0650 (Monday only), Weekday flights now leave on September 5. three each weekday in both directions, frequency on the route from two to 2005, has increased its non-stop Southampton-Aberdeen services in The airline, which introduced Southampton to Aberdeen. additional non-stop direct flights from Eastern Airways has brought in just ashorthopacross theSolentfrom SouthamptonAirport The Needles,IsleofWight– SUMMER SOUTHAMPTONSUMMER TO DIJON SERVICE EXTENDED fares starting from £75 one way, including taxes. Services depart on Mondays, Fridays and Sundays with will now run until October 28, 2011. However thanks to the popularity of the flights, services this year and was due to operate until September 30. The three times a week service was introduced in June response to demand. extended by Eastern Airways until the end of October in Southampton to Dijon, in Eastern France, has been Eastern Airways’ new summer service from

and the Isle of Wight. Winchester, Bournemouth, Salisbury including Portsmouth, Basingstoke, easy access to other important centres, Southampton Airport also provides Weymouth.” 2012 activities in both London and be an easy way to access the London Airport. Looking ahead, the services will is just 66 minutes from Southampton cruise port, as well as to London, which beautiful south coast, Southampton’s flights also provide ideal access to the by a third is really great news. The between Southampton and Aberdeen Airport, added: “The increase in flights Communications at Southampton Jan Halliday, Director of Marketing & Eastern Airways’ Commercial Director departure to Aberdeen,” said Kay Ryan, from an early Monday morning save valuable time, while also benefiting particular will have more flexibility and Scotland and offshore workers in Southampton at 1310. All times are local. 1630. Flights leave Dijon at 1210 and land in Sunday services leave Southampton at 1340, arriving at and arrive in Southampton at 1320. landing in Dijon at 1640. Services leave Dijon at 1230 Flights on Fridays take off from Southampton at 1350, and arrive in Southampton at 1220. arriving in Dijon at 1540. Services leave Dijon at 1130 On Mondays, flights depart Southampton at 1250, also giving passengers greater choice.” by offering this additional service we are working in the oil and gas industry, so business are made up of key personnel majority of our customers travelling on on the Aberdeen-Stavanger route. The Manager, said: “Demand has increased Eileen McBay, Eastern Airways’ Sales A Sunday service also operates. (1040 Fridays), 1425 and 1815. and 1805, arriving in Aberdeen at 1010 flights leave at 1000 (1030 Fridays), 1415 weekdays, From Stavanger, weekday 0850 (1110 Fridays), 1320 and 1740 on 1110 and 1530, arriving in Stavanger at Aberdeen at 0650 (0840 on Fridays), Weekday services now depart effective September 5. services to three return flights daily, frequency on its Aberdeen-Stavanger Eastern Airways has upped the STAVANGER FLIGHTS MORE ABERDEEN TO Lake Kir, Dijon Stavanger 9

NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS DESTINATIONS Sea and expand to the Baltic region. existing client activity in central North Sea sector, will continue to oversee responsibility for the northern North Europe, who previously held MacLeod, Commercial Manager – passenger movements. Fiona management of up to 250,000 responsible for day-to-day Based in Aberdeen, he will be northern North Sea energy sector. oversee its operations in the busy appointed David Laskowski to Bristow Helicopters Ltd has Bristow Helicopters Change of operations at www.amazingretreats.com to ensure that the historical aspect of the fort is maintained. Amazing Retreats has worked closely with English Heritage to cook, wash up and organise entertainment or day trips. A dedicated Amazing Retreats host and chef will be on hand guests with fine views over Portsmouth Harbour. decks, private dining rooms and function space for up to 50 rooms, three fully equipped games rooms, library and sun nine guest bedrooms with sea views, two private cinema celebrations when it opens in November. The property has in 1878 becomes an intriguing venue for luxury breaks and Accessible only by boat, the Grade II listed monument built Retreats portfolio of iconic and unusual properties. Napoleonic Fort is the latest addition to the Amazing Fancy staying in a fort in the middle of the sea? Spitbank Strategic retreat of enquiries each day. Ambassadors with iPads to assist passengers with hundreds The airport has also armed its dedicated team of Complimentary parking is also provided for all delegates. technology such as a SMART Board and free WiFi access. can hold around 20 people and includes the latest – Spitfire Meeting facilities – the room, available from £30, space before their flight, for £17.50 per person. departing passengers to enjoy a dedicated quiet and relaxed – Breeze Priority Executive Lounge – available to all possible. floor of the short stay car park, as close to the terminal as space in the new special wider parking bays on the ground passengers can upgrade their parking by pre-booking a – Close and convenient Breeze Priority Parking by which easier and faster. The services include; com/priority), and aim to make their airport experience even passengers to pre-book online (www.southamptonairport. The new services are optional upgrades available to all Southampton Airport. unveiling of a series of new Breeze Priority services at Business leaders from across Hampshire have witnessed the Breeze in and get priority service com, without leaving Facebook. website www.NewcastleGateshead. NewcastleGateshead’s main visitor using information from for hotels, restaurants and events feature, which enables searches advantage of a new Facebook recommendations. It takes to upload photographs and make Facebook page, which allows users the launch of a state-of-the-art residents access information with transforming the way visitors and NewcastleGateshead Initiative is faces the future NewcastleGateshead

11 There’s a new heavyweight in North Sea engineering and fabrication

Four experienced companies have joined forces to create ZE1 Global. This joint venture is an undisputed force in the area, perfectly placed and equipped to service large-scale operations in the energy industry.

Our offering Our promise • The experience of 200 industry experts • Shorter lead times • Workshop capacity expanding to 8,300sqm • Single point-of-contact local supply chain • Yard capacity expanding to 24,000sqm • 365/24/7 top quality customer service • Extensive quayside facilities

ZE1 Global was conceived by Lerwick Engineering and Fabrication, Malakoff and Ocean Kinetics. Business and supply chain experts Carisma RCT joined to strengthen the venture. ZE1 Global is now a fully qualified, fully organised, full-service engineering and fabrication operator for the Oil & Gas, Marine, Renewables, Utilities and Decommissioning sectors.

Find out how we can help your business: [email protected] www.ze1global.com NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS DESTINATIONS Stuart McAuley, Technical Head of SDS. Murray Douglas, Head of SDS and Aberdeen-headquartered division – spearhead the growth of the new Respected industry figures will workforce within the next three years. months, and establishing a 100-strong around 30 new jobs over the next 12 significant scale in its own right, creating facilities engineering business of Senergy anticipates SDS will become a Senergy Development Solutions (SDS). engineering and total project delivery, business division focused on facilities specialist services by launching a new Senergy has bolstered its portfolio of Global energy services company Senergy means business Afternoon Tea Place. City and Country Hotel Tea Award. Claridge’s was named London’s Top Tea Place 2011 Award. The Angle Hotel, Abergavenny, scooped the title of Topthe highest accolade of the tea world by winning The Tea Guild’s prestigious Top Oscars, that is. Rocke Cottage Tearooms, in Shropshire’s Clun Valley, achieved The Oscars have brought success to Shropshire and Monmouthshire – the Tea We’ll drink to that… HOTELS ON THE MARGINS – SEE PAGES FEATURE 26-29 TV presenter. Among those who took part in the 2000 series was Ben Fogle, now a Castaway, has been put up for sale at an asking price of £2m or above. n various times of the year.” wildlife, with whales, dolphins, porpoises and basking sharks all visiting at UK’s loveliest white-sand beaches, these islands are a mecca for marine their “other-worldly beauty”. The citation continues: “Ringed by some of the the isles are the only place in Britain to make the list and were praised for hotspots in a list drawn up by travel magazine, Wanderlust. Placed at 98th, The Outer Hebrides have been voted one of the world’s top 100 travel Hebrides make it into the top hundred hot spots The Hebridean island of Taransay, location of the BBC reality TV series, www.senergyworld.com Solutions at AMEC. Murray was formerly Head of Integrated consultancy, HPHT Solutions, and based front-end engineering Stuart previously founded Aberdeen-

reviews from tripadvisor users. comprises those receiving the most Whitby’s Magpie Café. The list Harrogate and, at number seven, six, Bed (Burnsey Eat Drink), in number four, Rustique, York, at number number one, Prashad, Bradford, at according to tripadvisor. They are, at restaurants in the UK are in Yorkshire, n www.warwick-castle.com £3million over three years.” healthier thanks to our investment of “2011 figures are set to be even Director of Sales and Marketing, said: per cent since 2008. Georgina Kelly, bucking a declining trend by rising 20 n near Newcastle. its manufacturing facility at Wallsend, Michael of Kent, pictured above right, at Enterprise by His Royal Highness Prince prestigious Queen’s Award for equipment – was presented with a manufacturers of remote intervention n See Glamping feature pages 34-35 wood burning stove. Welsh wool blankets and an enormous views, as well as sheepskin rugs, warm yurt, near Crickhowell, boasts fantastic luxury yurt in the Black Mountains. The ultimate, luxury outdoor escape – a sugarandloaf.com has unveiled the n www.jolyons10.com bar and restaurant, Cwtch Mawr. designed rooms and suites as well as a the new hotel boasts 21 individually Sister hotel of Jolyons on Cardiff Bay, minutes from the Millennium Stadium. doors on Cathedral Road, just five Jolyons at No. 10 – has opened its n Stig Anders Ekker from Stavanger. at Ackergill Tower in our June issue was Winner of the house party break CONGRATULATIONS

Four of the ten most talked-about Admissions at Warwick Castle are SMD – one of the world’s leading Welsh cottage company Cardiff’s newest boutique hotel –

13 ABERDEEN (GMT) BAKU DUBAI

HOUSTON DOHA MOSCOW

PERTH SINGAPORE STAVANGER HELPING YOU KEEP PERFECT TIME WHEREVER YOU ARE. At Finnies the Jeweller we’re passionate about watches. We will always take time to offer you the best advice and help you choose the right watch whether it’s for yourself, or a gift for somebody else. And we will help you look after it, for life. With one of the largest collections of watches in Scotland to choose from, you’ll know that wherever you are in the world, you can always rely on Finnies to help you keep perfect time.

George Street, Aberdeen. Tel 01224 636632 www.finniesjewellers.co.uk Open: Mon/Fri/Sat: 9am-5.30pm. Tues: 9.30am-5.30pm. Wed: 9am-1pm Thurs: 9am-7pm For life. TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED by Keith Mackie SPONSORED EDITORIAL / NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS DESTINATIONS DESTINATIONS SPONSORED EDITORIAL / NEWS FROM EASTERN AIRWAYS They say that variety is the spice of life, and inspiration Even a ground-breaking fluid used to develop golf mats can come from a range of unconventional sources. is being enhanced to see if it can unblock industry pipelines. In business, cross-pollination of ingenuity from different sectors often develops the most creative solutions and ITF facilitates the development of innovative technologies this particularly holds true within the oil and gas industry. with those who have new solutions that could produce tangible benefits for our members, and potentially In recent years solutions to a number of key industry revolutionise the oil and gas industry. challenges have come from the aerospace, medical, military and mining sectors. Our members can offer up to 100 per cent funding to develop such cutting edge ideas, with innovators Technologies from the golf, music and space industries retaining full intellectual property rights and gaining have also recently demonstrated potential for cross- direct access to their target market. industry application and are on the verge of creating significant breakthroughs. The proposals we receive each year come from a range of global developers. Their variety captures the When NASA’s Phoenix Mars Lander arrived on Mars, imagination and shows that you only need look at an idea scientists used Miniature Mass Spectrometry (MIMS) to from a different perspective to open new possibilities in search for water. Researchers at the University of unexpected areas. Liverpool have now applied this technology to oil-in- Who knows, maybe the project you are working on now water detection for the oil and gas industry. holds the key to the next significant oil and gas industry Similarly, music company Soundmotion discovered that breakthrough. It’s worth a thought. technology it had developed for automated music analysis and tuition for electric guitars could be used to Keith Mackie is the Technology Manager at ITF (Industry examine data collected during seismic surveys offshore. Technology Facilitator), Aberdeen

Added benefits for Eastern Airways passengers

Eastern Airways has negotiated more benefits for customers at various airports. All passengers on our new services from Glasgow can now enjoy fast-track security clearance, while passengers on fully flexible tickets can also make use of lounge access there. At Bristol, passengers with fully flexible tickets can now pass through security on fast-track, and at Southampton, the new Breeze Priority Lounge is now also available to Eastern Airways passengers holding fully flexible tickets. www.easternairways.com 15 DIRECT SERVICES BETWEEN BAKU AND ABERDEEN

Every Thursday and Sunday Two flights Excellent business class service Flexible fares a week: 40kg free baggage allowance Convenient connections from Aberdeen via Baku to Aktau (Kazakhstan), Tehran (Iran), Tbilisi (Georgia) and from/to Baku via Aberdeen to Stornoway, Wick, Durham, Newcastle, Norwich, Bergen and Stavanger In partnership with Eastern Airways

Contact your travel agent or “Azerbaijan Airlines” Call Centres In UK +44 (0) 1414160888, email: [email protected] In Azerbaijan + 994125988880, email: [email protected] Newsline, Scotland GOLF: TRUMP INTERNATIONAL GOLF LINKS development. Alex Salmond – and it is a breathtaking Connery and Scottish First Minister Trump hopes it will be opened by Sean Scotland”. designated “the Great Dunes of dramatic coastline, which Trump has for this project was a stretch of into the business and his raw material He followed his father and grandfather outstanding golf courses for 99 years. family name has been synonymous with Hawtree, a master craftsman whose It has been designed by Martin surpassing even his expectations. walked the course and admitted it was recognisable businessmen, recently The billionaire, one of the world’s most the age of 20. croft until she landed in Manhattan at Isle of Lewis. She grew up in a simple was brought up in Stornoway on the MacLeod, a native Gaelic speaker who as a memorial to his mother, Mary a family home and the resort is intended He bought the estate where he now has Aberdeen. was Menie Estate, 15 miles north of golf course in the world” at its heart billion golf resort with “the greatest links decided that the ideal location for a £1 the flamboyant American billionaire After scouring 200 sites across Europe A PAY-PER-PLAY BASIS WITH SPECIAL FORRATES LOCAL GOLFERS. TRAVELLERS TO ABERDEEN WILL BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE COURSE ON Cup and the Open Championship. tee off next summer on his newest course, which he hopes will one day host theEven Ryder Donald Trump may begin to run out of superlatives by the time the first golfers ON COURSE TO TRUMP THEM ALL contenders. new course, and there are a few The next edition could well feature his detailing the top 18 holes in the world. Billionaire”, sits a copy of a book as Over Exposure” and “Think Like a Trump publications like “No Such Thing offices, where, along with copies of the reception of the development I awaited the completion of the call in spontaneous calls for an update. interrupted by one of his regular and heart it is when, as if on cue, we were explaining to me just how close to his of Trump International Scotland Sarah Malone, Executive Vice-President development. Trump monitors every detail of the Tower on Fifth Avenue, New York, his offices in Trump International successful businessmen, but from He may be one of the world’s most day do battle are being seeded. Westwood and Tiger Woods may one fairways along which Rory McIlroy, Lee and are like luxury carpets, and the completion: the greens have been laid The construction is now nearing Graeme Smith , was enjoyed an exclusive preview… tribute. mother to whom it will provide a lasting business and the birth of Trump’s Martin Hawtree’s grandfather started his from next July, exactly a century since www.trumpgolfscotland.com Online booking has just opened at sporting amphitheatres. and the North Sea and falls into natural give spectacular views of the coastline those less skilful. The course rises to the best in the world but not to punish have been carefully positioned to test every level of golfer and the bunkers run. Each hole has five tees to cater for there are others that will give it a close the most undulating on the par 72, but It is tipped as the signature hole and is seen it. brought gasps from those who have inspiring and the 437 yard 14th has The course is, quite simply, awe in the late stages of design. standard world class golf clubhouse” is a temporary clubhouse as the “Trump component. Next year’s visitors will use personal Trump project is the golf also planned but the focus on this very A hotel of five-star standard or above is continue over further winters. stabilise the dunes and that will sprigging thousands of plants to marram grass planters have been hand- For the past two winters, a team of 20 for play

17 UP FORE THE CHALLENGE Golf coach Steve McNally responds to Stan Abbott’s challenge to make a competent golfer of him in just two days…

GOLF: FAST-TRACK LEARNING GOLF: FAST-TRACK In this age of social media network- driver following on the second day. building, when contact lists are judged By the morning of Day Two I was ready too often on quantity rather than quality, to record a creditable “average” score the value of real live networking with in an approach play contest with the actual human beings may once again be resort’s lodge guests and so, after lunch, coming to the fore. I was deemed ready to venture onto Sla- There are a couple of business-related ley’s Priestman course. I holed in seven networks that have never been open to on the par four first but would have me: the works smokers’ network and the made five with a little more thought and golfers’ network; the former important more care on my second putt. I hit the for keeping up to speed with the inside Steve McNally second in seven too, but that included company gossip and the latter reputed two lost shots when my ball vanished in to be the platform upon which some of Position, Posture, Alignment. SGBPA – the rough. I removed shoes and socks the best business deals are founded. no easy acronym then. But for every to make five on the par three fifth (Seve error on the course it was clear to me So should I take up smoking, which Ballesteros would have hit it backhand that I had failed to cross-check and requires only minimal time outlay? or and kept his feet dry, chuckled Steve). verify one of these five. golf, which I have always thought So it had taken me 35 shots to complete five holes on the Priestman. demands 36-hour days and nine-day Get all five right and you, like me, can weeks? The notion that life is simply too enjoy the twin satisfaction of the sweet We then switched to the somewhat short for golf has always been a pillar of sound and feeling as the club impacts challenging signature ninth hole on the my philosophy but conversations when with the ball and the wonderful sight of it Huntsman championship course, where drink is involved can have a seismic sailing 200 yards in a straight line. I bombed utterly, driving my tee-shot impact on such pillars. And so it was Thanks to my intensive coaching I was high into the trees, then clearing the that I found Michael Bell, of the DeVere able to make that distance with a hybrid water hazard with comfort and grace, Slaley Hall golf resort, in Northumber- club by the end of the first day. To put only to slice my next two shots back into land, rising to my challenge: transform this in context, this amount of time on an the same hazard to amass a scary 13. me, inside just 48 hours, from a exclusive basis is worth about £500, complete golfing novice, into someone But, for all that, Steve’s verdict was while a series of eight shorter individual capable of navigating his way round a positive: “I think we achieved more than sessions would work out at £400 or a golf course. we expected. When you look at your first standard course of eight weekly five holes, to have the confidence to take Prior to my Monday morning rendezvous sessions in a group of six, at £95. that shot in the water was astonishing. with Steve McNally, head coach at Steve has been playing since 1975 and Slaley, my golfing experience had been “You have the confidence when you see turned pro in ’78 on a handicap of three limited to the crazy variety and one short a clear shot in your mind – you have to and took up the Slaley post 18 months driving lesson a few years ago. I was, be confident in a competitive situation ago, having previously been with the where golf’s concerned, a couple of that you can pull that shot off. You can Scottish Golf Union at St Andrew’s for a sand wedges short of niblick*. develop that, given a bit of time and decade. I felt privileged to have him as application.” But that was then… Now, to spoil the my coach: his philosophy is very much story by going straight to the 18th hole, based on tried and tested coaching And so, there’s the challenge – I just as it were, the Eagle has landed. I can principles and we made good use of a need to find the time and application get round a golf course without needing video recording of my action to help me now! Either that or try smoking. a tent and provisions. What’s more, see where I was going wrong. Stan took his golf lessons at DeVere there’s a real danger I might actually What I particularly liked about his Slaley Hall, near Hexham, Northumber- grow to like this sport and the way it pits approach was that, each time I land. DeVere is currently promoting you both against your opponents, and plateau-ed, he found a new skill set to membership at its 11 resorts for just against your own demons. develop so that I would not lose heart. £295. Other courses near Eastern Those demons are the ones that make So, by the end of Day One I had also Airways destinations include Oulton you forget to check one of the five key covered a variety of approach shots Hall, Yorkshire; Belton Woods, Lincoln- elements, drilled into me by Steve at the and done some putting, with bunker shire; and Dunston Hall, Norfolk. start of Day One: Stance, Grip, Ball shots and improving my use of the www.devere.co.uk

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Scarista House is now two owners on from Alison Johnson, author drains… “Every year there are thousands and thousands being of a House by the Shore. Current custodians Patricia and Tim spent.” Martin are – unlike their immediate predecessors – happy to draw The ambition is to extend the season so some staff can be put on a on the literary legacy. Copies of the book wait to be thumbed in the more secure full-time footing and the Martins have been exploring lounge, where we meet our fellow guests for pre-dinner drinks on different possibilities to extend the premises to help achieve that squishy sofas around a log fire. It’s great: even if you don’t imme- – at present there are three rooms in the main house and another diately take to your co-guests, at least they’ll give you something three and a self-catering unit across the garden. to talk about! After dinner, we are joined by Misty, the resident cat, though there’s an upstairs sitting room for those who This winter sees the introduction of Scarista-based shooting prefer to keep their company exclusively human. parties on the West Harris estate, working with a local country sports specialist – this is the more accessible end of the Patricia is unashamed about blurring the edges shooting market and you won’t be rubbing shoulders with between home and hotel and sees Scarista’s USP not sheikhs or millionaires on the moors. just as its superb Atlantic location, but also the fact that “it doesn’t feel like a hotel, which most people like”. But Scarista has a loyal repeat clientèle and its business got no-one should imagine that running a hotel here is an something of a boost back in 2000 with the filming of the easy call: “We are working 15 or 16 hours a day. Every BBC’s Castaway on the island of Taransay, just 300 metres penny we make we put back and our season runs five offshore. TV producers stayed at Scarista and there or six months if we are lucky.” She counts off on her was increased interest in the islands generally. fingers the litany of repairs – roof, driveway, Patricia and Tim thought a fly-on-the-wall documentary about a young couple learning how to run a hotel and struggling to find organic produce ART ON THE ISLES suppliers might go down quite well. The lure of the light and the colours of the ocean have That dream wasn’t realised but one of Taransay’s lured many artists to Harris and Lewis, with the result legacies was the Castaways’ hens, whose that they are now great country for pootling about and descendants were happily laying free range at visiting galleries. Here are just our favourites from Scarista until quite recently. Which brings us nicely among the great many to be seen… on to food… “The format has always been the same,” says Patricia. “Set menu dinner, with as much as Isle of Harris art café: www.skoon.com possible locally sourced and organic. So the fish is The Mission House Studio: www.themissionhouse.co.uk landed in Stornoway unless the local boats can’t get out; the scallops come from Stornoway; salmon Holmasaig Gallery: www.holmasaiggallery.com from Uist; local crowdie cheese. We bake daily with Hebrides Art, Seilebost: www.hebridesart.co.uk Giant chessman in organic flour from Highland Health Foods at Inverness.” The hotel garden and its fertile Eilean Oir jewellery, Keose: 01851 830479 the dunes at Uig seaweed-rich machair soil makes Scarista self-sufficient in salad and herbs. There are plenty of carrots and chard too and vegetable growers dotted round east Harris produce more fresh food in polytunnels. Patricia, 45, a former music teacher from Northern Ireland, and Tim, 58, had no direct hotel experience before they bought Scarista, though Tim’s parents ran a pub in Wales and he did work in a restaurant near London’s Borough Market for a time. Despite some misgivings at coming to live somewhere they’d always seen as a bolt hole, it’s worked well for them and their three teenage children. “It’s been fantastic,” says Patricia. Auberge Carnish is as fresh and new as Scarista is part of the landscape. Indeed, we were among the hotel’s first guests when we arrived at Uig, in the far west of Lewis. Awaiting us was a fine timber building standing atop a headland and commanding astonishing Rooms with a view at Auberge Carnish views over an interminable tableau of golden sand, across which the waves marched in rolling hypnotic succession. But wind, waves and whatever the weather can throw at Auberge Carnish are engaged in a somewhat thankless task. This is a real eco-building: its pre-formed Scotframe panels are foam-insulated and the windows are triple-glazed against the Hebridean elements. All materials are designed to last, with Balau hardwood timber decking and Siberian larch cladding. The interior finishes are ash and Malaysian merbau. THE DUNES THAT FRINGE THE BAY ARE WHERE THE VIKING LEWIS Richard’s journey to the furthest western shores of Scotland has CHESSMEN WERE FOUND taken nearly 18 career years. That he arrived at all is thanks to his desire to study catering prevailing over his parents’ wish that he study economics. Having graduated from catering school and with Owner and host is Richard Leparoux, who is proud to have little or no English, he then found his way to Edinburgh via kitchens in project-managed the 13-month, £370,000 build in a venture Cardiff, Covent Garden and back in France. Having spent four years grant-aided for its employment and energy-saving attributes. building his experience in Scotland he went back to France again, Richard and his northern Irish wife, Jo, live with their two small but was back in Edinburgh before long. That was where he met up children, in another new-build a little lower down the bluff and with Jo, whose beautiful photographic studies of the sands of the arrived here from north of the bay, where they used to run the bay, sculpted anew by each high tide, decorate the walls of the hotel. Bonaventure restaurant with rooms, before embarking on their new Richard and Jo acquired Bonaventure on a whim and, after more challenge. than a year’s labour of love it took off – and then, after eight years The dunes that fringe the bay are where the Viking Lewis and to the consternation of fans, they sold up. Chessmen, one of Britain’s greatest treasures, were found and in Eighteen months on those fans are back at Auberge Carnish, where the light northern night we were mesmerised by the dawn sky that the menu offers a choice of six starters, four mains and four desserts appeared over them so soon after the pink glow of sunset that filled and is changed once or twice weekly. “We use local produce as far the lovely big windows that illuminated our beautifully finished as possible. Next year we will source all our vegetables locally but bedroom. this year we are concentrating on building regularity of supply.” The Richard brings with him to Auberge Carnish loyal local restaurant weather has put paid to local hand-dived scallops and crabs during customers who have learned through Bonaventure that they can our stay but the future may bring chickens and pigs reared on the count on him to entertain them with his flambuoyant French style croft and herbs and salads grown in Auberge Carnish’s own and peerless Franco-Hebridean fusion cuisine. polytunnel. “It was time for a new challenge as we’d pushed Bonaventure as far At all times, Richard was on hand to solicit our (always positive) as we could and I had just run out of steam. Then this croft site criticism – a truly attentive host. “You have to be here to make sure came up and, and although a lot of people were interested, we were that everything’s always on the ball. Some people get involved in the lucky ones at the closing date for bids.” catering but then put a manager in and they don’t really care.” Richard’s hallmark at Auberge Carnish is the creation of a space Richard cares and you know it! that is open and airy, with expansive views over the bay. Two thirds Scarista House: www.scaristahouse.com of the public space houses the restaurant area, while the other end Auberge Carnish: www.aubergecarnish.co.uk has modern sofas around a wood stove. The furnishing is restrained Auberge Carnish images www.mikeshailes.co.uk rather than minimalist and yet it still feels cosy and inviting, while the gentle ambient music is as relaxing as it is unexpected: Claude Eastern Airway flies daily, Monday to Friday, from Aberdeen Challe’s Buddha Bar is the ultimate to chill to and I think I detected to Stornoway. Connections via Aberdeen from other the strains of Portuguese fado too. Eastern Airways destinations. 29 30 www.butterfly-conservation.org INTERVIEW their habitats. He is seen here with a Lime Hawk-moth. which promotes the conservation of butterflies, moths and Sir David is President of wildlife charity Butterfly Conservation and why he is battling for the butterfly… David Attenborough talks to INTERVIEW: SIR DAVID SIR ATTENBOROUGH INTERVIEW: Bryony Gordon about how life is still hectic at 85 “wWe are part of the natural world, from the air we breathe to the food we eat. And that means that people – not just politicians – are going to have to care.”

Sir David Frederick Attenborough has an awful lot of letters after his name. He is a member of the Order of Merit, a Commander of the Royal Victorian Order, a Companion of Honour, and has been given 29 honorary degrees by various universities, more than any other person. But when asked how he would like to be remembered, he is characteristically humble. “I don’t care whether I’m remembered or not,” he says, mellifluous tones broken by uproarious laughter. He finds it amusing, too, that he recently joined the Queen, whose Christmas broadcasts he used to produce, on a ‘’grey’’ power list. “But I don’t have any power. I mean, I’m still vertical, I suppose...” This is one of the only times we can say that Sir David is quite clearly talking absolute rubbish. He turned 85 in May, but he still has the ability to send people into a state of rapture. His charming voice, which has cooed lovingly over everything from the pygmy gecko to the mountain gorilla, has been a constant on our screens, one that has entranced almost three generations of television viewers. Next year will be his 60th year in broadcasting, a fact he will celebrate with some retrospective programmes revisiting old places where he has filmed. He is aware that, during this time, the climate has changed, but he doesn’t see much evidence of the damage it has caused. “I am in a way rather spoilt, because the BBC wants me to make things about wild creatures, so I go where those wild creatures are, not to the dismal areas where they have been exterminated.” I wonder how many octogenarian tourists fancy Borneo, which Sir David was due to visit. Does he ever think he would like simply to lie down and have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit? “Well, I think that it’s a difficult time if you get up in the morning and there’s nothing that anybody wants you to do. It would be pretty awful if nobody gave a damn whether you get out of bed or not.” I’d wager he has never had that experience. “No, but I can imagine it. I don’t often like filming at 7 o’clock in the morning, but it’s much better than nobody caring.” His latest thing is the Big Butterfly Project, which aims to get people counting the insects to document their numbers. He appeared on Radio 4’s Today programme recently and had John Humphrys and Jim >> SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH : PROGRAMMING, PROPERTY & PIANO PLAYING

Naughtie gushing about red admirals and him with a chequebook and a promise to So he doesn’t watch EastEnders? “No, I common blues; I reckon Sir David could invest squillions into natural history, don’t,” he chuckles, “but I am sure interest you in a twig, and would probably would he jump? “Well it is true that Sky EastEnders is great. The thing is, I’ve got have made a very good car salesman in asked me to make a 3D programme, 3D enough in my life without trying to another life. But he is curiously being something that the BBC doesn’t discover new things. So I don’t watch unsentimental when asked about nature. have. “And the temptation to make a film quiz programmes, or serials. I will watch There is no favourite animal, no creature in this way, to see what the apparatus is anything that makes me laugh. The he longs to see; he isn’t particularly like, what the limitations and possibilities problem with that is that obviously sense bothered if, as recently reported, there are, was too much to turn down. So I told of humour stays with your age and what might be sea monsters out there. “It’s not the BBC that that was something I makes young people laugh doesn’t a trophy collecting expedition, actually,” wanted to do and they said ‘Of course, necessarily make me laugh.” So what he says, seriously. we understand’. So I made a film that makes him laugh? “Porridge!” he says. “I came out last Christmas about have my DVDs of it.” He doesn’t see many butterflies now in pterodactyls. It was terrific, a wonderful the garden of the house he has lived in What else does he do when not working, thing to do.” for most of his adult life. But he used to; or looking at butterflies? Well, he is he thinks perhaps they are dying out. During the 60s and 70s, Sir David was extending his house, discovering the skull Controller of BBC Two and the Director of of a 19th century murder victim in the Home is Richmond, south–west London; process (“It had lost its teeth, didn’t have he points out that, like half the world’s a lower jaw, and there were no population, he lives in a city. “That means SIR DAVID FREDERICK attachments to the spine or vertebrae,” that over half of humans are detached ATTENBOROUGH he tells me, matter–of-factly). “When the from nature to some greater or lesser financial crash came, I spoke to people degree. Some say: why does this matter? BORN who know more about these things than I Well it does, in practical terms, because May 8, 1926 do, and they asked me what I did with my we are part of the natural world, from the FAMILY money. I said ‘I put it in the bank, where air we breathe to the food we eat. And Widower of Jane Elizabeth Ebsworth else would you put it?’ To which they that means that people – not just Oriel, two children and several replied ‘property’. So I thought I would politicians – are going to have to care. grandchildren. take this pub [next door], which was derelict and rat-ridden, and turn it into an “Children are wildly enthusiastic about EDUCATION extension.” nature. You only have to take a four–year– Wyggeston Grammar School for Boys, old pond dipping, or at least turn over a Leicester; Clare College, Cambridge. So there is a property tycoon in him yet. stone to let them see what’s under it. He also likes to play the piano, though “I CAREER am absolutely appalling at it”. He has But one of the problems is that you can’t Served in the Royal Navy, 1947–49; grandchildren, and another one on the sustain such enthusiasm with no fuel. editorial assistant in an educational way, and a brother, Lord “Dickie” When I was a kid, there were lots of publishing house, 1949–52; joined the Attenborough. Two years ago his brother things you could do. I collected birds’ BBC as a trainee producer in 1952, had a fall, which briefly left him in a coma; eggs, butterflies, moths; I caught newts. where he undertook zoological and this on top of the tragedy of the tsunami But because the countryside is so under ethnographic filming expeditions, the in 2004, which killed both his daughter attack it’s not possible to do that; if every most recent being Life Stories in 2009. child now started catching butterflies it and granddaughter. would be a disaster.” How is his older brother? “So–so,” he I still have my copy of his Trials of Life Programming for BBC TV. There has, says quietly. Sir David, though, is series, bought for me when I was ten. naturally, been huge change during his “enjoying my life. I’m still running around, Who will replace Sir David when he is time there; the question is, is that change though obviously I can’t do 100 yards in gone? Who will inspire children to dig in for the better, or for the worse? “Both. 20 seconds”. His beloved wife, Jane, died the mud for worms? “Well there are bags People are much more transitory; in the suddenly in 1997, but he has lots of of talented people around,” he says. old days the BBC was a monopoly, there friends. Is he very social, does he throw “What is not around is bags of money, was nowhere else to go, so you had a dinner parties? Does he have a – gulp – and natural history programmes are very huge amount of expertise, and you knew girlfriend? expensive to make. There aren’t many you were on top of things.” “Ha! I have what you would call a normal organisations prepared to put in the He doesn’t watch much television. “I range of acquaintances.” And off he hundreds of thousands of pounds it takes watch natural history programmes that goes, to look for butterflies in his garden. to make a decent series.” my mates are doing – or perhaps I should Would he ever defect from the BBC? If say my competitors – but apart from www.bigbutterflycount.org another network came marching up to that...” www.butterfly-conservation.org

Bryony Gordon / The Daily Telegraph / The Interview People A RIGHT ROYAL KNEES UP Stan Abbott has a whale of a time at Ackergill Tower’s August Open House Party

“Did you see the Northern Lights?” said Our cliff walk to Dunscanby Head, left, a breathless Alex, arriving at the beach the furthest north-east corner of bonfire. No, I hadn’t seen them and this mainland Britain, took us past dramatic had the hallmarks of another great sea stacks, above the wheeling fulmars Northern Lights miss. I have never seen and the seals in the shallows, all OUT AND ABOUT: ACKERGILL TOWER OUT AND ABOUT: them on countless winter trips to far witnessed at close quarters from a RIB northern latitudes. I missed them by five by those who arrived early on Day One. minutes in the Yorkshire Dales once. In We elected to donate our tug of war fact, only once did I see them flickering winnings to the Wick Lifeboat, which on the horizon on a flight from France. brought us a guided tour of the boat And then, however improbable on a – 13 years old but so lovingly cared for light summer night in Scotland, they you’d never find a scratch, stain or dent appeared again, dancing, shimmering anywhere on her. All of which was much curtains of light above the sea in the admired by Jens, who runs the lifeboat not-so-dark northern sky. This would back home in Stockholm. surely be what would linger longest in Ackergill Tower’s house parties are an my memories from Ackergill Tower’s opportunity for the world at large to August Open House Party. enjoy an experience normally the That I had all but forgotten the Northern preserve of corporate guests of Games at Mey, we were well bonded Lights until I came to write about them financial institutions, very senior and hence finding ourselves carrying off is a measure only of just how much fun business teams, senior figures in second prize in the tug of war, beaten was had on the remainder of a real governments and their ilk, and guests at only by a heavyweight kilted gang of weekend to remember at surely the big weddings. young farmers from Halkirk. Mey, of most unusual of any exclusive use course, was the late Queen Mother’s Tellingly, many of our fellow guests were properties. favourite castle and these days it’s an now here in a private capacity having Our fellow guests were drawn from escape for Prince Charles, Duke of previously enjoyed Ackergill Tower in a different countries, different age groups Rothesay, who shared with us his “work” context. I use the inverted and different work backgrounds. That memories of tug of war in Navy days commas deliberately: it’s hard to we all got on famously is thanks in no (pictured above). imagine any experience at Ackergill small measure to the amazing gift of Tower being described as work. They We were sumptuously wined and dined Ackergill Tower’s staff for coming up even made it easy for me to see the – in Ackergill’s wonderful tree house on with activities to break the ice. Soon we Northern Lights. our first night and, all in our Highland were competing in teams at clay pigeon regalia, at our Imperial Dinner on our www.ackergilltower.co.uk shooting, caber tossing, blindfold second, where I was spellbound to hear driving (I kid you not) and building a Burns’s Address to a Haggis recited contraption to convey two eggs safely from memory the way it’s meant to earth from the top of Ackergill Tower. to be, rather than the approximation By the time we headed for the Highland I’m used to hearing.

33 33 GLAMPING IT UP Tom Boden leaves his battered old primus behind to try glamping in a mysterious

LEISURE: GLAMPING land called Featherdown…

Airbed – check. Sleeping bags – check. to any ambition to challenge the Posh camping, glamorous camping, Gas stove – check. Plastic plates – elements Ray Mears style, in fact, quite glamping if you prefer, has been on the check. The familiar list goes on as an the opposite. Everything we needed, rise in the UK in recent years as we imminent foray into the delights of a and more, was waiting for us in a field in have displayed a growing urge to camping holiday beckons. Cumbria inside the canvas equivalent of reconnect with the delights of our rural All less comfortable and poorer a detached family home. idyll. And while the majority are still happy to battle with guy-ropes and performing than their domestic We were about to become Farmers – chemical toilets, no shortage of equivalents used for the other 99 per Featherdown Farmers. It’s a concept as sumptuous alternatives are popping up. cent of the year – no wonder I was so opposed to a place. We didn’t have to Pods, yurts, tepees – no end of thrilled that this checklist was actually go to Cumbria – we could have visited ethnically trendy styles of temporary for what we would NOT be taking with Featherdown Farms in South Wales, shelters decorate the countryside, often us. In fact, of what might be considered Hampshire, Lancashire and more. In all occupied by Tarquins, Sebastians, essentials, it was only torches and a there are 27 across the UK and each Floras and Pips. spare corkscrew that we retrieved from has a very similar offer. All are on actual the rarely visited box that contains our working farms, you are hosted by an This is without doubt a bastion for the camping equipment. actual farmer and, from our experience, middle classes. And on the face of it This disregard for what would provide you are going to fall in love with it and Featherdown Farm is no different: huge for the basis of human existence – be telling your friends about how great semi-permanent tents with all mod 34 shelter, food and warmth – wasn’t due it was for weeks afterwards. cons, bedrooms, communal area, wood which we milked under the guidance of John, that we could have stayed the full week our host. He and his wife, Christine, had and realised that all we would have seven tents erected in a cosy corner of their needed to do was bring more clothes. land and have fully embraced the We’d not been near the cars since we’d Featherdown Farm concept. unloaded them and even though there was For the most part guests are left to relax and plenty to see and do in the surrounding enjoy themselves but it was the little extras area, we never even considered going that made it feel special. We had freshly elsewhere. We realised that on a normal baked warm bread delivered in the morning weekend we might drive for many miles to and it seemed a bargain at £2.50. I would spend the day in a spot like this so why, as have baulked at that in the supermarket but we were already there, would we need to combined with real butter (bought from the leave it behind to visit an invariably busy on-site honesty shop) it was like ambrosia. tourist attraction? We enjoyed stone-baked pizzas, cooked On our return to normality we sang the outside by John and eaten on communal praises of Featherdown Farm to all who trestle tables with our fellow campers. On our would listen. While the tents might be final day, a tour of the farm by trailer to see all identical at all 27 sites and the opportunity of John’s livestock – horses, pigs, sheep, to engage with farm life as strong at each, cattle and the usual farmyard hangers-on, every one of them will have a major dogs, cockerels etcetera… For the kids this difference: the farmer. For us, it was John was all their story books come to life: all we who gave our stay that extra factor that needed was a Gruffalo and a hungry had us checking our diaries for an caterpillar. But Featherdown Farm isn’t just imminent return. for children as it is just as enchanting after they are safely tucked up in bed, and we sit Featherdown Farm tents sleep up to six outside in the fading daylight. people (maximum five adults) and are available April to October for week, There’s something about seeing bats weekend or midweek stays. Autumn twisting through the sky at close quarters breaks for the remainder of 2011 start from that gives a sense of being away from it all. £239. Of the 27 sites around England, As we huddled around our stove on the last Wales and Northern Ireland, Manor night eating a lamb tagine (again delivered by (Hampshire) and Billingsmoor (Devon) John) and drinking wine, we watched the Farms also offer Farm with Frills extra- bats dart around picking off moths. The still luxurious tents, from £325 for the weekend air, disturbed only by the flutterings of our (regular price £279). busy-winged companions, was incredibly peaceful and I was regretful that we’d only booked for a long weekend. All of us agreed www.featherdown.co.uk

FOR THE MOST PART GUESTS ARE LEFT TO RELAX burning stove, a flushing toilet and enough AND ENJOY THEMSELVES BUT IT WAS THE LITTLE candles to light the Albert Hall. But there is one essential difference: the fact that they EXTRAS THAT MADE IT FEEL SPECIAL. are on real working farms. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some kibbutz-style operation where everyone mucks in, and the closest I came to working the land was apologetically manhandling a chicken so I could pilfer the egg she’d just laid. But the day-to-day activities of a farm continue all around and create the illusion that you’re part of the set-up. This feeling is fostered by some of the farming-like opportunities laid on, the majority with young children in mind. I mentioned access to the hen house, but at our Farm, Howbeck Lodge, near Hesket Newmarket, we also had a rabbit run for rodent petting and a paddock of goats, WELCOME TO OUR BARE ESSENTIALS Here you can find information on our routes, fleet, passenger BARE ESSENTIALS experience and a host of suggestions for what to do when you arrive at your destination.

OUR DESTINATIONS SCATSTA

Scheduled Routes ANGEAVST R

Charter Routes

WICK

STORNOWAY

ABERDEEN THE FLEET GLASGOW

NEWCASTLE

DURHAM TEES VALLEY LEEDS BRADFORD EMBRAER ERJ145 HUMBERSIDE

One aircraft Length 30m (98ft) EAST MIDLANDS Seats 50 passengers Typical cruising speed, Two turbofan engines 450 knots, at 35,000ft Wingspan, 20m (65ft) NORWICH

CARDIFF BIRMINGHAM

FI BRISTOL SOUTHAMPTON

EMBRAER ERJ135

Two aircraft Length 26m (86ft) Seats 37 passengers Typical cruising speed, TO DIJON Two turbofan engines 450 knots, at 35,000ft Wingspan, 20m (65ft)

JETSTREAM 41 SAAB 2000

20 aircraft Length 20m (63ft) Eight aircraft Length 26.7m (89ft) Seats 29 passengers Typical cruising speed, Seats 50 passengers Typical cruising speed, Two turboprop engines 280 knots, at 20,000ft Two Jetprop engines 370 knots, at 28,000ft 36 Wingspan 19m (60ft) Wingspan 24.3m (81ft) ESSENTIAL TRAVEL PASSENGER EXPERIENCE

After booking your Eastern Airways flight items of hand luggage by the aircraft via a travel agent, the airline’s website or steps. Your hand luggage will be awaiting AIR TRAVEL in-house reservations call centre, you will you on the valet baggage cart at your have noticed that Eastern Airways uses destination airport. SHOULD BE MORE OF e-tickets. It was in fact one of the airlines to pioneer ticketless travel over nine Once on board, our highly trained cabin A PLEASURE AND years ago. attendants offer a friendly and personal- ised in-flight service including compli- LESS OF A CHORE Queues at check-in are short and the mentary drinks and branded snacks. On process is swift as is the experience arrival our aircraft allow for quick Our aim is to make your travel as pleasant through the security channels. This is disembarkation, enabling passengers to an experience as possible. possible thanks to a ground-breaking make their way swiftly onwards through initiative called Fast Track, which is the terminals. Have an enjoyable trip. available at Aberdeen, Leeds Bradford, Southampton, East Midlands, Newcastle and is a dedicated security channel for Eastern Airways passengers to use and STAMPING OUT DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOUR avoid busy airport terminal security queues. While the vast majority of passengers flying globally behave impeccably, there is a greater awareness of isolated incidents of disruptive behaviour, also known as “air With Eastern Airways operating the rage”. While this isn’t a major problem for Eastern Airways, the safety and security of largest number of scheduled services our passengers and crew is our number one priority. from Aberdeen, a dedicated business lounge is available for all its customers We don’t want our customers to experience any behaviour that makes them feel flying from the airport and is located next uncomfortable, or be put in a situation that compromises safety. Disruptive behaviour to its departure gates. Executive lounge can include smoking, drunkenness, aggressive behaviour or abusive language towards access is also offered at Birmingham, a customer or a member of crew. Our crews are fully trained to deal with any incident of Leeds Bradford, Bristol, Norwich and this type. Cardiff for passengers travelling on fully flexible tickets. Disobeying a command, which is lawful by a crew member, is committing an offence under the UK Air Navigation Order. Offenders who persistently misbehave on As you board your aircraft you will a flight will be handed to the appropriate authorities on arrival and may face arrest and a notice we have a fleet of liveried valet heavy fine or up to two years imprisonment. Severe restrictions will also be placed on baggage carts for you to place larger their future travel with Eastern Airways.

ESSENTIAL GOINGS ON… ESSENTIAL GOINGS ON

OFFSHORE NORWAY Norway’s largest annual oil, gas and energy exhibition, Offshore Technology Days (OTD), is being held in Stavanger from October 19-20. “We are the Norwegian Continental Shelf” is the OTD slogan and true to its words, the exhibition is concentrating on Hilary Lloyd Man, 2010. Courtesy Sadie Coles HQ, London. © The artist. the NCS activities. “We are convinced that the total NCS activities will be enough to keep thousands of suppliers BEST OF BRITISH AT BALTIC and hundreds of thousands employees busy for the next couples of decades,” The prestigious Turner Prize comes to based on the work they were nomi- reads the publicity. “The business Gateshead’s BALTIC Centre for Con- nated for. opportunities are immense and that is temporary Art in October – its first ever The show will run from October 21 until exactly what the OTD 2011 exhibition is venture away from a Tate venue. January 8, 2012, and the winning artist all about.” Established in 1984, and now argu- will be announced at a celebratory Entrance is free. www.offshoredays.com ably the world’s most recognised and event at BALTIC in December 2011. prestigious award for contemporary The prize fund of £40,000 is divided art, the Turner Prize is awarded to a between the shortlisted artists with MIDDLESBROUGH MARKET British artist under 50 for an outstand- £25,000 going to the winner and £5,000 ing exhibition or other presentation of Designers Marketplace is returning to to each of the other three artists. their work. its motherland of Middlesbrough on This year’s nominated artists are Karla December 3 for a huge Christmas Nominations are invited each year, and Black, Martin Boyce, Hilary Lloyd and market! the prize is judged by an independent George Shaw. jury that changes annually. The four Middlesbrough Town Hall will play host shortlisted artists present works in a Previous winners include Tomma Abts, to over 50 of the North East’s most show – normally held at Tate Britain – Gilbert & George, Antony Gormley, talented artists and designers who will before the winner is announced in Damien Hirst, Steve McQueen, Gillian be selling their hand-produced products December. Artists are not judged on Wearing, Rachel Whiteread and – minus art gallery and boutique mark this final exhibition – the decision is Richard Wright. www.balticmill.com ups! www.designersmarketplace.org.uk

PAINTING THE STREETS Bristol is now home to the most The event has resulted in Bristol’s ambitious permanent street art project Nelson Street becoming one of the ever to take place in the UK. world’s largest outdoor art exhibitions and a free attraction for all who visit. More than 60 graffiti artists, including some of the world’s most talented, Event organisers hope that the project took over Nelson Street during will mirror the success of Melbourne, summer, painting the exterior of ten Australia’s street art initiative which multi-storey buildings and turning a attracts an estimated 450,000 visitors previously run-down street into a per year. www.VisitBristol.co.uk landmark attraction. © VisitBristol.co.uk Aktar Islam

Glasgow: Scotland with style

BIRMINGHAM COOKS UP A SOUNDS OF THE CITY FEAST OF A FESTIVAL One of the largest winter music festivals of its kind in the world returns to More than 60 of Birmingham’s top restaurants and its Glasgow in January for its 19th year. best-loved chefs have come on board to show their support Celtic Connections will feature artists for Birmingham Food Fest, a new ten-day gastronomic from around the globe alongside the celebration, which is set to descend on the city from October best Scottish talent from January 14-23. 19-February 5. Great British Menu reigning champion and winner of Gordon Before that the Music of Black Origin Ramsay’s F Word, Aktar Islam of Lasan Restaurant, and (MOBO) Awards, comes to Glasgow’s Michelin star award winner Richard Turner, chef patron of Scottish Exhibition and Conference Turners of Harborne, have backed the innovative restaurant Centre in October. The 2009 event was festival, which will see the city’s best eateries produce a sell-out success with performers irresistible menus at bargain prices and a mouth watering entertaining a capacity audience of programme of over 100 food-filled events shaping up to take more than 7,000 and the city welcoming place throughout the city. an entourage of A-list celebrities, urban music talent and industry leaders. Support for the festival extends beyond the city’s restaurants and chefs with some of Birmingham’s biggest attractions Glasgow was named a UNESCO City of hosting themed events to coincide with Birmingham Food Music in 2008 by the UN cultural body Fest, including Cadbury World and Ikon Gallery. Event – an accolade that acknowledges its highlights include Thinktank’s Dine under the Stars, where rich and varied musical heritage and its visitors will feast under the planetarium’s 360˚ digital dome, role as a world player in music. and the National Sea Life Centre’s sustainable fish demonstration and guided tours. www.glasgowcityofmusic.com Aktar Islam, one of the masterminds behind Birmingham’s Lasan Restaurant, said: “Birmingham’s unique heritage and cultural diversity have had a strong influence on my cooking style. The city is rich with an inspiring energy and is rightfully recognised as one of the UK’s culinary gems. “Birmingham Food Fest is a great opportunity to raise the profile of the city’s extensive dining opportunities and to showcase the calibre of culinary talent here.” Michelin star eateries Simpsons and Purnell’s, Opus, Edmunds and Loves are just some of the restaurants that have joined the festival’s menu so far. The chefs will be joined by the city’s newest talent and rising stars from University College Birmingham, celebrating the diversity of Birmingham’s food scene. www.birminghamfoodfest.com ‘The American Boy’ Lithograph with watercolour, 56cm x 76cm x 56cm watercolour, with Lithograph AmericanBoy’ ‘The

AN EXHIBITION BY JOHN BYRNE RSA

5th – 19th November 2011 THE RENDEZVOUS GALLERY 100 Forest Avenue Aberdeen AB15 4TL Tel 01224 323247 www.rendezvous-gallery.co.uk [email protected] 39 40

Glasgow: Scotland with style / Region Stavanger / Nicolas Larento-Fotolia.com BARE ESSENTIALS : DESTINATIONS you get there... get you when to do what and to go where and there to –how get destinations Airways Your to Eastern guide Destinations ESSENTIALS BARE

www.aeroport.dijon.cci.fr/en Airport +33(0)38067 www.visitdijon.com Tourist/Local Info+33(0)89270 0558 Bordeaux, Toulouse, Nantes Eastern Airways flights direct to Southampton, Pelpa, rue Marceau Le Smart, 8 rue Claus Sluter; La Salsa La Rhumerie 14 Place de la Jamaique; town and the surrounding villages. and local products can be found in de la Liberté. Gastronomy, wine cellars stores. Don’t miss the Maille shop, rue of traditional boutiques and department Dijon’s town centre has a wide choice Beaune. set in the vineyards, heading towards d’Or; Hotel Chateau de Gilly Vougeot, Holiday Inn Dijon, Parc de la Toison Sofitel Dijon La Cloche, town centre; Cathedral; Darcy Gardens. Museum of Fine Arts; St Benigne Palace of the Dukes of Burgundy and minutes, cost east of the city. Taxi into town takes 20 Dijon airport is situated 4.5 miles south l’Arquebuse, most days to Dec 31. Dec to days most l’Arquebuse, de Sciences des Jardin elephants, on exhibition special 2; 30-Oct Sept Circuit, Prénois the at meeting car racing Vintage centre; city historic the in Gallery Art Open 31, December to exhibition Permanent Europcar info on back page. Sainte-Anne. Monge; Le Club des Œnophiles, 18 rue DRINK AND EATAT AND DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT VISIT WHERE COMING UP COMING DIJON

€ 15-20. For car hire see ; Le Chabrot, 36 rue Bareuzai statue

www.regionstavanger.com Tourist/Local Info +47519755 Southampton, Wick Durham Tees Valley, EastMidlands,Humberside, Glasgow, Newcastle.Onwardconnections to toAberdeen, Airwaysflightsdirect Eastern www.avinor.no/en/airport/stavanger Airport +4767031000 Kjeringholmen, 4001Stavanger. Norwegian Petroleum Museum, that overlookstheLysefjord; Pulpit Rock–anaturalrock formation page. For carhire seeEuropcar infoonback and isservedbyaregular shuttlebus. airport isjustninemilesoutoftown the country’s south-westcoast.The Norway’s fourthlargest citylieson Oct 18-20. Oct Forum Stavanger exhibition, Days Technology Offshore 1; 22-Oct Sept Tou Scene, 2011, Festival Numusic Nedre Strandgate. traditional Norwegianfood;Tango, Sjøhuset Skagen–specialisesin Skagen 14. Dickens, Skagenkaien;Newsman, centre is just 7 miles south of Stavanger. Kvadrat, Norway’s biggest shopping airport. Strand Hotel,onthebeach,near Brygge, allinthecitycentre; Sola The Clarion,ThonMaritim,Skagen VISIT WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT STAVANGER

Stavanger harbour SHETLAND SCATSTA STORNOWAY WICK

Shetland Wool Week Beach at Uig Ackergill Tower

WHERE WHERE WHERE Twenty four miles north west of Lerwick, To the east of the town. Taxis and car One mile from the centre of Wick, Shetland’s principal town, and five miles hire are available at the airport. No half-an-hour’s drive from Thurso. south-west of Sullom Voe oil terminal. The weekend flights. Mackinnon Self Drive: Main bus and rail stations are near to village of Brae is about eight miles to the +44 (0)1851 702984. Wick centre serving most places in south. For hire car visit www.boltscarhire. Caithness. Trains to Thurso and co.uk or call 01595 693 636 (no on-airport VISIT Inverness. Post bus operates facilities) Stornoway Museum, Francis St; Thurso-Wick-Airport. Car hire: Stornoway Fish Smokers, Shell St; Dunnets offers airport pick-up and VISIT Woodlands Centre, Lews Castle drop-off, 01955 602103. Muckle Flugga, Unst. Forget John grounds; An Lanntair Arts Centre, O’Groats, this is the very northernmost Kenneth Street, Stornoway. VISIT tip of Britain. Shetland Museum, Lerwick; Wick Heritage Museum; St Fergus Jarlshof, Grutness (both mainland). STAY AT Gallery, Sinclair Terr; Pulteney Hotel Hebrides, Tarbert; Royal Hotel, Distillery, Huddart St. STAY AT Cromwell St; Scarista House, west Busta House Hotel, Brae; Saxa Vord Harris; Auberge Carnish, Uig. STAY AT Resort, Unst; Orca Country Inn, Sandwick. Ackergill Tower; Mackays Hotel; The SHOP AT Brown Trout Hotel, Station Rd, SHOP AT Callanish Jewellery, Point St; This Watten, nr Wick; Shetland Fudge, Lerwick; Jamieson ’n That, Cromwell St; Borgh Pottery, & Son Knitwear, Lerwick; Valhalla Brewery, Borgh (20 miles). SHOP AT Saxa Vord. John O’Groats (pottery, knitwear); DRINK AT Rotterdam St, Thurso (20 miles) DRINK AT Clachan Bar, North Beach; Hebridean Mid Brae Inn, Brae; The Lounge Bar, Bar, South Beach; Whalers Rest, DRINK AT Lerwick; Kiln Bar, Scalloway. Francis St. Ebenezer’s, Mackay’s Hotel; Wetherspoons and Camps Bar. EAT AT EAT AT Busta House Hotel, Brae; Monty’s Bistro, Digby Chick, Bank St; Golden Ocean, EAT A Lerwick; Saxa Vord Resort, Unst. Cromwell St; Thai, Church St. Bord de l’Eau, Market St; Le Bistro, Thurso; Captain’s Galley, Scrabster COMING UP COMING UP (22 miles). Shetland Accordion & Fiddle Festival An Exhibition by Jill Smith – a personal 2011, Oct 6-10; Shetland Wool Week, vision of the Calanais Stones and COMING UP celebrating the wool of Britain’s most other sites and landscapes of the Mey Market, Tuesdays to mid- northerly native sheep, Oct 10-16; The Western Isles, Farmhouse Gallery, September, Mey Market Christmas Thomas Fraser Memorial Festival, Nov 10- Calanais Visitor Centre, until 2012; Special, Dec 4, all at Mey village hall; 13; Shetland Food Festival, Nov 5-13. National MOD 2011, week of singing Howl at the Moon! Guided Winter competitions and gaelic culture, Isle of night ride in Rumster Forest, Dec 12. Lewis, Oct 14-22.

Airport 01806 244900 Airport 01851 702256 Airport 01955 602215 www.hial.co.uk/stornoway-airport.html www.hial.co.uk/wick-airport.html Frequent daily charter service to Aberdeen, operated by Eastern Airways for the Integrated Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen. Onward Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen. Aviation Consortium connections to Bristol, Durham Tees Valley, East Onward connections to Bristol, Durham Tees Tourist/Local Info 01595 98 98 98 Midlands, Humberside, Leeds Bradford, Newcastle, Valley, East Midlands, Humberside, Leeds www.visit.shetland.org Norwich, Southampton, Wick Bradford, Newcastle, Norwich, Stavanger, Tourist/Local Info 01851 703088 Stornoway www.visithebrides.com Tourist/Local Info 0845 22 55 121 www.visithighlands.com 42

Glasgow: Scotland with style / Hull: www.yorkshire.com BARE ESSENTIALS : DESTINATIONS St, Dec5. Santa andhisReindeerParade,Union Street Market,UnionTerr, Nov26-28; venues, Oct20-Nov14;International until Mar3,2012;Sound10,various Metal Works! Aberdeen ArtGallery, Paula McEwen,Great Western Road. Cinnamon, UnionSt;Manzil,King Stage DoorRestaurant,NorthSilverSt; Queens Rd;Prohibition, LangstanePl; Simpson’s Hotel,BarandBrasserie, Balaclava Bar, LochSt. Silver St;TigerTiger, ShipRow; Lounge, DeeSt;TheGlobe,North The MonkeyHouse,UnionTerr; Pearl Antique Centre, SouthCollegeSt. St; PastTimes,UnionAberdeen Juniper (gifts,jewellery),Belmont locations; anyofThistle’s three hotels. Skene HouseHotelsuites,various Malmaison Aberdeen, Queen’s Rd; Rendezvous Gallery, Forest Ave. Shiprow; Talbooth Museum,CastleSt; Aberdeen MaritimeMuseum, info back page. the city centre. For car hire see Europcar centre, off the A96. Regular buses into Seven miles north-west of the city WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT VISIT ABERDEEN www.aberdeencityandshire.com Tourist/Local Info Airways Eastern Airport www.aberdeenairport.com Southampton, Stavanger, Stornoway, Wick. Leeds Bradford,Newcastle,Norwich, Durham Tees Valley, EastMidlands,Humberside,

0870 0400006

International StreetInternational Market flights direct toBristol,Cardiff, flightsdirect 01224 288828

I J Mellis (cheeses), Great Western Rd. Lane; Relics antiques, Dowanside Lane; Starry Starry Night (retro), Downside St; Saint Judes, Bath St. Grasshoppers Penthouse Hotel, Union Hotel du Vin, Devonshire Gardens; Ashton Lane. Ashton Lane; Tchai-Ovna (tea house), Chip, Ashton Lane; Brel (Belgian), Balbir’s (Indian), Church St; Unbiquitous Byres Road; Rio Café, Hyndland St. The Bier Halle, Gordon St; Òran Mór, Gallery, University Avenue. House at the Hunterian Museum and Art Museum, Argyle St; the Mackintosh Park; Kelvingrove Art Gallery and The Burrell Collection, Pollock Country hire see Europcar info back page. easily reached by taxi or bus. For car rail station Paisley Gilmour St, one mile, centre linking main rail stations. Nearest Glasgow. Regular shuttle service to Around eight miles from the centre of International, and Irish Masters Cross Country Royal Concert Hall, Oct 6-9; British Scotland Irish Dancing Championships, MOBO Awards, SECC, Oct 4; All DRINK AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT VISIT WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT GLASGOW www.glasgow.gov.uk www.seeglasgow.com Tourist/Local Info Airways Eastern Airport www.glasgowairport.com Mackintosh HouseDrawingRoom

0844 4815555

Bellahouston Park, Nov flights direct toStavanger flightsdirect 0141 2044400 26.

Sage Gateshead. Gateshead QuaysfortheBalticand Discovery Museum,Blandford Square; hire seeEuropcar infoonbackpage. Taxi fare tocity, approx £12.Forcar Sunderland. Half-hourlybusservice. minutes tothecity, Gatesheadand centre. Metro raillinkeveryfew Seven milesnorth-westofthecity www.visitnewcastlegateshead.com 0191 2778000 / 01914784222 Tourist/Local Info connections toStornoway, Wick Cardiff,Stavanger.Birmingham, Onward toAberdeen, Airwaysflightsdirect Eastern www.newcastleinternational.co.uk Airport 08718821121 Festival, Newcastle, Oct 28-Nov 6. Tynemouth, Oct 22-23; Wunderbar UKPSA Kielder Water & Forest Park, Oct 9; Salomon Kielder Marathon 2011, Sage Gateshead, Sept 30-Oct 2; NewcastleGateshead Art Fair 2011, Newcastle; LeRaaj,ChesterMoor. Newcastle; PanHaggerty, QueenSt, Zen, CourtLane,Durham;Blackfriars, Collingwood St;TheForth,PinkLane. Crown Posada,theSide;Florita’s, Sunderland andDurham. Square, Newcastle;Van Mildert, Jules B,Jesmond;Cruise,Princess Durham. Seaham HallHotelandSpa,County Jesmond DeneHouse,Newcastle; Hotel duVin,Grey Street Hoteland VISIT WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT NEWCASTLE North East Surf Open,

North EastSurfOpen DURHAM TEES VALLEY HUMBERSIDE LEEDS BRADFORD

Christmas Fair Ferens Art Gallery, Hull Leeds Loves Shopping

WHERE WHERE WHERE Five miles east of Darlington and 10 miles Fifteen miles east of Scunthorpe, 20 miles Nine miles north-west of Leeds city centre, west of Middlesbrough.There is a regular south of Hull, 16 miles west of Grimsby. seven miles from Bradford. Regular Airlink bus shuttle to Darlington rail station, 6 Regular bus services to Hull, Grimsby, 757 bus from bus and rail stations to miles away on main line to Scotland and Scunthorpe, Doncaster and Sheffield. terminal. Taxi time 20-25 mins. For car the South. Taxi fare to Darlington approx Barnetby Station three miles from airport hire see Europcar info on back page. £8. For car hire see Europcar info on with Intercity connections via Doncaster. back page. Approx taxi fare to Hull £26. For car hire VISIT see Europcar info, back page. Royal Armouries, Leeds; Leeds City VISIT Museum, Millennium Square; National mima (Middlesbrough Institute VISIT Media Museum, Bradford. of Modern Art) Centre Square; Museums Quarter, Hull’s Old Town; The Locomotion, the National Railway Deep, Hull; Lincoln Cathedral; Ferens Art STAY AT Museum at Shildon; Hartlepool’s Maritime Gallery, Hull. Mint Hotel, Leeds; Radisson BLU, The Experience, Historic Quay. Headrow, Leeds; Malmaison, Leeds; the STAY AT New Ellington, Leeds. STAY AT Forest Pines Hotel, Broughton; Cave Rockliffe Hall, Hurworth on Tees; Castle Hotel, Brough; Best Western SHOP AT Walworth Castle, near Darlington; Willerby Manor Hotel, Willerby. Retro Boutique, Headingley Lane, Leeds; Headlam Hall, near Darlington. Harvey Nichols, Briggate, Leeds; Victoria SHOP AT Quarter, Leeds. SHOP AT Bailgate and Steep Hill area, Lincoln; Henri Psyche, Linthorpe Road, Beene (Menswear), Abbeygate, Grimsby. DRINK AT Middlesbrough. Baby Jupiter, York Place, Leeds; Fudge DRINK AT Bar, Assembly St, Leeds; Haigys, Lumb DRINK AT The Wig & Mitre, Steep Hill, Lincoln; Ye Lane, Bradford. George and Dragon, Yarm; Black Bull, Olde Black Boy, High St, Hull. Frosterley. EAT AT EAT AT The Wardrobe, St Peters Square, Leeds; EAT AT Figs Restaurant, Cleethorpes; Browns Restaurant, Headrow, Leeds; Sardis, Northgate, Darlington; Brackenborough Hotel and Restaurant, Ujala Tandoori, Manville Terrace, Bradford. Dun Cow Inn, Sedgefield; The Orangery, Louth; Winteringham Field, Winteringham; Rockliffe Hall. Pipe and Glass, South Dalton, Beverley. COMING UP Artist Rooms: Damien Hirst, Leeds Art COMING UP COMING UP Gallery, until Oct 30; Gormley at Ben Nicholson – The Intimate Surface of Lincoln Comedy Festival, Oct 5-11; Harewood, until Oct 30; World Curry Modernism, mima, until Nov 6; Bridlington National Scooter Rally Trade Festival, Leeds, Sept 23-26; Light Night Transporter Bridge Exhibition, Dorman and Custom Show, Oct 29-30; Musicport Leeds – Free performances etc at various Museum, Middlesbrough, Sept 27-Dec Festival 2011, The Spa, Bridlington, venues across the city, Oct 7; Leeds Loves 25; Living North Christmas Fair, Croft Nov 4-6. Shopping 2011, various venues, Oct Circuit, Darlington, Nov 11-13. 14-24.

Airport 01325 332811 Airport 01652 688456 Airport 0113 250 9696 www.durhamteesvalleyairport.com www.humbersideairport.com www.leedsbradfordairport.co.uk Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen. Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen. Onward Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen, Onward connections to Stavanger, Stornoway, connections to Stavanger, Stornoway, Wick Bristol. Onward connections to Stornoway Wick Tourist/Local Info 01482 486600 Tourist/Local Info 0113 242 5242 Tourist/Local Info www.visithullandeastyorkshire.com www.leeds.gov.uk 01642 729700 / 264957 www.visitlincolnshire.com www.leedsliveitloveit.com www.visitteesvalley.co.uk www.yorkshire.com www.yorkshire.com 44

BARE ESSENTIALS : DESTINATIONS hire seeEuropcar infoonbackpage. short bus/taxi ride from EMA. For www.eastmidlandsairport.com Airport 08719199000 www.experiencenottinghamshire www.visitderby.co.uk 01332 255802 Tourist/Local Info connections toStavanger, Stornoway, Wick toAberdeen.Onward Airwaysflightsdirect Eastern Showground, Oct 15-16. Game and Country Show, Newark Fair, Nottingham Oct 5-9; Robin Hood Chilwell, Nottingham, Oct 1-31; Goose Carnival of Monsters arts exhibition, Hot Buffet, GooseGate,Nottingham. Loch Fyne,KingSt,Nottingham;Red Canal St,Nottingham. Nottingham Castle;TheWaterfront, Ye OldeTrip toJerusalem,below jewellery,, artwork),Arnold Nottingham; TheArtisan’s Studio(gifts, Paul Smith,MiddlePavement, St Mary’s Gate,Derby. Nottingham; CathedralQuarterHotel, Lace MarketHotel,HighPavement, Quarter, Derby. cafe barandartsworkshop,Cathedral Park, Derby;QUADgallery, cinema, Marian Way; ElvastonCastleCountry Cross; Tales ofRobinHood,Maid Nottingham Contemporary, Weekday Eaton, Not Rail stations Nottingham, Twelve miles from both Derby and WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT VISIT EAST MIDLANDS EAST Robin HoodGameandCountryShow

tingham and

just off theM1junction24. Lough

/ 08444 775678

borough, Long Derby are a Nottingham. car .com www.visitbirmingham.com Tourist/Local Info08448883883 toNewcastle Airwaysflightsdirect Eastern www.bhx.co.uk Airport 08712827117 Birmingham Run, city centre, Oct 23. Fest, Oct 14-23; BUPA Great venues, Oct 7-16; Birmingham Food Birmingham Comedy Festival, various Horse of the year Show, NEC, Oct 4-9; St. St;Opus,Cornwall Cornwall Restaurant, BishopsgateSt;Opus, San Carlo,Temple St;Peppers Factory; TheBoilerRoom,Vyse St. Gas St;TheMedicineBar, Custard Bank, BrindleyPl;TheTap andSpile, (Mailbox). Selfridges (Bullring);HarveyNichols Rotunda. Marriott, HagleyRd;StayingCool, Holloway Circus Queensway; Malmaison (Mailbox);Radisson, Cadbury’s World, Linden Rd, Bournville. Jewellery Quarter, Vyse St, Hockley; Chamberlain Sq; Museum of the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery, see Europcar infoonbackpage. Birmingham andCoventry. Forcarhire Stationfortrainsto International Link monorailsystemtoBirmingham of theM42.Connectedbyfree Air-Rail Six mileseastofthecity, off Junction6 COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT VISIT WHERE BIRMINGHAM

St MartinsandSelfridges www.bristolairport.co.uk Airport 08713344444 Art Gallery, QueensRoad;SSGreat Egypt Gallery, BristolCityMuseum& info onbackpage. super-Mare. Forcarhire seeEuropcar return. AlsolocalservicestoWeston- city centre,time30mins.£6 journey Coach serviceapprox half-hourlyto Eight milessouth-westofBristol. www.visitbristol.co.uk Tourist/Local Info 03333210101 Stornoway, Wick Leeds Bradford.Onwardconnections to toAberdeen, Airwaysflightsdirect Eastern Nov 8-12. National Opera, Bristol Hippodrome, Film Festival, Nov 16-20; Welsh Dec 31; Encounters Bristol International Bristol Zoo Gardens WOW! 175, until Chandos Road. Caines, CollegeGreen; Culinaria, Pieminister, StokesCroft; Michael Pool andLoungeBar, ParkSt. brewery, ColstonSt;TheElbowRoom Zero Degrees award-winning micro- Galleries atCribbsCauseway. Markets andBroadmead; TheMall Clifton VillageandParkSt;StNicholas Lewins, Mead. Almondsbury; HotelduVin,Narrow Aztec Hotel&Spa,West, Reef Aquarium,Harbourside. Britain, Great Western Dock VISIT WHERE COMING UP COMING EATAT AT DRINK AT SHOP STAYAT BRISTOL

Bristol ZooGardens WOW!

yard; Blue CARDIFF NORWICH SOUTHAMPTON

Cardiff Castle Barnham Broom Hotel Ocean Village

WHERE WHERE WHERE Twelve miles west of Cardiff, 10 miles from Three miles north of the city. Hourly bus Five miles north of city. Parkway Station Junction 33 on M4. Rail link, every hour, service into the city centre. Approx taxi beside terminal, three trains hourly to connects airport to Cardiff Central and fare to Norwich £7. For car hire see Southampton and London Waterloo. Bridgend. For car hire see Europcar info Europcar info on back page. Buses hourly to the city. For car hire on back page. see Europcar info on back page. VISIT VISIT Norwich Cathedral, The Close; Norwich VISIT Cardiff Castle; Wales Millennium Centre, Castle, Elm Hill; Sandringham Estate, Solent Sky, Hall of Aviation, Gilbert Cardiff Bay; Cardiff Bay Visitor Centre ‘The Norfolk; Norwich Puppet Theatre, Road South; Maritime Museum, Town Tube’, Harbour Drive; Norwegian Church Whitefriars, Norwich. Quay Rd; Spinnaker Tower, Portsmouth. Arts Centre, Cardiff Bay. STAY AT STAY AT STAY AT The Maids Head Hotel, Tombland; De Vere Montagu Arms, Beaulieu; The White Star Peterstone Court, in the Usk Valley; Dunston Hall Hotel & Golf Club, Ipswich Tavern and Dining Rooms, Oxford St; De St David’s Hotel & Spa, Havannah St, Rd; Marriott Sprowston Manor Hotel & Vere Grand Harbour Hotel, West Quay Rd; Cardiff Bay. Country Club; Barnham Broom Hotel & Chilworth Manor, Chilworth; Carey’s Spa, Honingham Rd. Manor, Brockenhurst. SHOP AT St Mary Street for specialist shops; Splott SHOP AT SHOP AT Market (weekends), SE of city centre. Jarrold’s, London Street; Soho Hip, WestQuay, city centre; Bargate Centre, Pottergate; Ginger Ladies Wear, Timberhill. East Bargate; Antiques quarter, Old DRINK AT Northern Rd; Gunwharf Quays, Pen and Wig, Park Grove; Park Vaults, DRINK AT Portsmouth. Park Place. The Fat Cat, West End St; The Adam & Eve, Bishopgate; The Wine Press, Woburn DRINK AT EAT AT Court, Guildhall Hill; The Last Wine Bar, The Dolphin, Osborne Road South; The Champers, St Mary’s Street; La Fosse, St Georges St. Frog and Frigate, Canute Rd; Ocean The Hayes; Bosphorus Turkish Restaurant, & Collins, Vincent’s Walk. Cardiff Bay. EAT AT Tatlers, Tombland; Mambo Jambo, EAT AT COMING UP Lower Goat Lane; Umberto’s Trattoria Olive Tree, Oxford St; P.O.S.H. Cardiff Design Festial, various venues, Italia, St Benedicts St. Queensway; The Purbani, Botley. Sept 30-Oct 15; Cardiff Iris Prize Festival, various venues, Oct 5-8; Neath Food and COMING UP COMING UP Drink Festial, Oct 7-8; Michael Jackson Norwich Wine Festival, various venues, Southampton Boat Show, Sept 16-25; tribute concert, Millennium Stadium, Oct until Oct 1; Bidwells Norfolk Food Festival, Autumn Pumpkin Festival, Royal Victoria 8; Wales Rally GB, Cardiff Bay, Nov 12. various venues, until Oct 2; Sparks in the Country Park, Oct 8; Welsh National Park, Earlham Park, Nov 5; Norwich City Opera, Mayflower Theatre, Nov 29-Dec 3. Hall Christmas Lights event, Nov 17.

Airport 01446 711111 Airport 01603 411923 Airport 0870 040 0009 www.cwlfly.com www.norwichairport.co.uk www.southamptonairport.com Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen, Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen. Onward Eastern Airways flights direct to Aberdeen, Newcastle. connections to Stornoway, Wick Dijon. Onward connections to Stavanger, Tourist/Local Info 0870 121 1258 Tourist/Local Info 01603 213999 Stornoway www.visitcardiff.com www.visitnorwich.co.uk Tourist/Local Info 023 8083 3333 www.southernwales.com www.visit-southampton.co.uk WORLD HERITAGE SITES ESSENTIAL GUIDE ESSENTIAL GUIDE They represent the cream of human history and culture across the world – and there may be one close to you…

Unesco (the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation) is dedicated to the preservation of all World Heritage Sites, each of which is judged to be of cultural or natural significance. Although designation does not usually attract specific funding, it does bring with it obligations to maintain such sites and not compromise them with inappropriate development. So the historic German city of Dresden was designated a World Heritage Site for its cultural landscape as recently as 2004 but stripped of its status just five years later when a four-lane bridge was driven through its heart. Liverpool, too, is in the dock with Unesco over plans for a huge development overshadowing the historic pierhead. Our round-up includes World Heritage Sites close to airports that Eastern Airways flies to. http://whc.unesco.org

46 Limited Heritage Wall Hadrian’s Northern Horizons, Copyright North of England

HADRIAN’ S WALL Site in December and is a monument to the Victorian philanthropic paternalism of Probably the most iconic of the UK’s mill owner, Sir Titus Salt, as well as being World Heritage Sites, the Wall was built seen as inspiring the later “garden city” on the orders of the Emperor Hadrian movement. The huge former worsted mill “to separate the Romans from the itself, on the outskirts of Bradford at the barbarians” in AD122. There are many mid-point of the Leeds-Liverpool canal, different forts, temples and museums to houses a variety of cultural spaces, visit along the 73 miles, from Wallsend, including galleries with David Hockney near Newcastle, to Bowness on Solway, pictures. www.visitbradford.com west of Carlisle. The National Trail, Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Leeds whose 84 miles follow the route of Bradford the Wall where possible, including the dramatic central section, is among the MONKWEARMOUTH AND most popular long distance walks in the country. The Wall now forms part JARROW MONASTIC SITES These two sites in South Tyneside and of the wider Frontiers of the Roman Sunderland comprise the UK’s 2011 Empire World Heritage Site, including Candidate World Heritage Site. There’s the empire’s German frontier, and every possibility these twin Saxon Scotland’s Antonine Wall. monasteries from the heyday of the www.hadrians-wall.org Kingdom of Northumbria will soon be a Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Newcastle, World Heritage Site, celebrating the Glasgow (Antonine Wall) work of Bishop Benedict Biscop and the DURHAM CASTLE AND remarkable scholar and writer, the CATHEDRAL Venerable Bede. The redrawn boundaries of the site now www.wearmouth-jarrow.org.uk. include the Norman Cathedral and the Nearest Eastern Airways airports – Newcastle 900-year-old castle, belonging to and Durham Tees Valley Durham University, as well as the land and buildings that stand between the two, atop the high peninsula formed by Midlands a loop in the River Wear. The site also represents the governmental seat of the DERWENT VALLEY MILLS Another site celebrating its tenth Prince Bishops, who led a near birthday this year, Derwent Valley Mills autonomous state between England comprises 15 miles of the Derbyshire and Scotland for 500 years to 1603. valley, between Matlock Bath and the www.durhamworldheritagesite.com city of Derby, which saw the birth of the Nearest Eastern Airways airports – Newcastle industrial textile industry, inspired by and Durham Tees Valley Richard Arkwright and others. You can STUDLEY ROYAL AND explore the valley on foot using the FOUNTAINS ABBEY 55-mile Derwent Valley Heritage Way. The abbey was the richest and one of www.derwentvalleymills.org the largest Cistercian monasteries in Nearest Eastern Airways airport – East Midlands England. Founded in 1132, it survived until the dissolution of the monasteries IRONBRIDGE GORGE in 1530. Its ruins and later buildings are A potent symbol of the Industrial collectively incorporated into Studley Revolution, the Ironbridge Gorge, on the Royal Gardens, the whole landscape upper reaches of the River Severn, is being created over some 800 years. The so-called because it is home to the 18th century water garden is said to be world’s first iron bridge – and to no the finest in England. fewer than ten museums in six square www.fountainsabbey.org.uk miles. With its pubs, craft shops and Nearest Eastern Airways airports – Leeds restaurants it’s a great place to stimulate Bradford and Durham Tees Valley the imagination and picture how modern Britain began. SALTAIRE www.ironbridgegorgewhs.co.uk The “complete and well preserved” 19th Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Birmingham century industrial village celebrates its >> Hadrian’s Wall, Walltown tenth anniversary as a World Heritage >> Durdle Door on the ST KILDA Jurassic Coast The history of this remote archipelago, whose towering cliffs are battered by the wild Atlantic, is close to the heart of Scotland’s Gaelic community and it is the only UK site listed for both its cultural and natural qualities. Several boat operators now offer day trips from both Lewis and Harris, but the journey is highly weather- dependent. If the seas don’t oblige, the Seallam! Visitor Centre, on Harris, is a great place to learn about the sad final evacuation of St Kilda’s population in 1930. www.kilda.org.uk Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Stornoway

Wales

BLENHEIM PALACE DORSET AND EAST DEVON BLAENAVON INDUSTRIAL The palace and its grounds represent the COAST LANDSCAPE fusion of architecture of John Vanburgh and Popularly known as the Jurassic Coast and Blaenavon’s preserved remains tell the story Nicholas Hawksmoor, with the celebrated extending for 95 miles along the sea cliffs of of the industrialisation of South Wales, from landscaping prowess of Capability Brown. Dorset and East Devon, this is the first the first iron ore workings of the 17th Designated a World Heritage Site because natural World Heritage Site in England and century, through the building of the first of its importance in heralding a new style of was designated in 2001. Think of the fossil industrial ironworks in 1788. Among the architecture in the early 18th century, and collector in the French Lieutenant’s Woman sights to see are the Big Pit: National Mining for its landscaped park. and you’ll know where this site is coming Museum and the World Heritage Centre. www.blenheimpalace.com from: it’s a window onto 185 million years of www.world-heritage-blaenavon.org.uk Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Birmingham the earth’s history and is renowned for its Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Cardiff importance to earth sciences studies for 200 years. www.jurassiccoast.com South of England Nearest Eastern Airways airports – Southampton and France Bristol CITY OF BATH WITH VENICE THE ROYAL SALTWORKS OF One of only two whole cities that are World ARC-ET-SENANS Heritage Sites, Bath is acclaimed as the Scotland Built during the reign of Louis XVI, the salt country’s finest Georgian city and its Roman works, near Besançon, represent the baths are among the most important such NEW LANARK beginning of the Industrial Revolution in remains north of the Alps. Bath’s fine The philanthropist and utopian idealist France and were actively in use for a period neo-classical 18th century architecture was Robert Owen fashioned his model industrial of 1,200 years to 1962. The remains include inspired by the vision of John Wood, Ralph community in the early 19th century in the a 13th century underground gallery and a Allen and Richard “Beau” Nash, who setting of a beautiful wooded valley. It would working 19th century hydraulic pump. wanted to make this the most beautiful city become a template for similar ventures www.franche-comte.org in the world. www.bathnes.gov.uk/ worldwide and the imposing cotton mill, Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Dijon environmentandplanning/worldheritagesite generous and well-designed workers’ Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Bristol houses, the school and other facilities VÉZELEY CHURCH AND HILL remain testament to Owen’s humanism. A masterpiece of Burgundian Romanesque STONEHENGE, AVEBURY AND www.newlanark.org art and architecture, with sculpted capitals ASSOCIATED SITES Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Glasgow and portal. The 12th century Benedictine These are to Neolithic Britain what Hadrian’s abbey was significant in the Crusades and Wall is to more modern times and include THE HEART OF NEOLITHIC remains a place of pilgrimage. the unmistakable form of Stonehenge with ORKNEY http://sacredsites.com its massive megaliths, or standing stones. The group of Neolithic monuments on Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Dijon But Avebury, 23 miles away, is actually the Orkney, just a short ferry ride across the larger stone circle and, indeed, the largest Pentland Firth from the Scottish mainland ABBEY OF FONTENAY prehistoric circle in the world. Among other – provides a graphic illustration of life here This 12th Cistercian abbey includes a remains included in the site is Silbury Hill, 5,000 years ago. The site includes a large bakery and even an ironworks and so near Avebury, a man-made chalk mound chambered tomb (Maes Howe), two illustrates well the self-sufficiency of the the size of an Egyptian pyramid. evocative stone circles (the Stones of earliest Cistercian communities. France, of www.english-heritage.org.uk/daysout/ Stenness and the Ring of Brodgar) and the course, did not suffer the Dissolution, which properties/stonehenge/world-heritage-sites Skara Brae farm settlement. laid waste to British monasteries. Nearest Eastern Airways airports – Bristol and www.historic-scotland.gov.uk www.abbayedefontenay.com

Jurassic Coast World Heritage Team Heritage World Coast Jurassic Southampton Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Wick Nearest Eastern Airways airport – Dijon BITTER EXPERIENCEwith Alastair Gilmour

ANorway ROUND OF THE NAME GAME Fancy a buxom barmaid or an idle landlord? – well, you can go to the bar then…

The pub was crowded, but I managed to whether the Bear Ass is in good would have been nothing like the catch the barmaid’s eye at the optimum condition and you risk being taken the following scenario, but it’s tempting to moment. wrong way. Buxom Barmaid? You’re present it anyway. barred. Top Totty? Get out and don’t I was forced to raise my voice above the come back. What The Fox’s Hat? “Right gentlemen,” the chairman might din: “A pint of Pale Rider and a half of Language, Timothy. Then you wonder have said at a board meeting. “This new Half Centurion, please.” The young lady what Trevithick’s Revenge is – and if he’s beer we’ve got, what are we going to call held my gaze for a nanosecond too long related to Montezuma. Perhaps we’d be it?” for normal service and smiled to herself. safer with a pint of lager. I flattened the hair at the side of my head A voice pipes up: “We’ve had gold subconsciously. Perhaps she hadn’t So, why can’t all beers be something medals for Federation Pale Ale, Burton heard me correctly, but as I watched her akin to Weymouth Best Bitter (feel free Bitter, Fed Mild and India Pale Ale, Mr lower the glass under the nozzle and to substitute any town) or Vital Spark or Chairman, so we could be on to another reach for a half-pint, the penny dropped. Twist & Stout – solid, embarrassment- winner.” free names that are easy on the ear and “Aye lad,” says the chairman, “thou’s “You’re thinking what I’m thinking,” I light on the tongue? Thirstquencher; reet. I propose we call it Ordinary.” said. “Half of a half is a quarter.” there’s a good one – and its Scottish She smiled again and nodded in “great cousin Thrappledouser. Mother “Seconded.” minds” fashion. McCleary’s Milk Stout sounds so appealing it could be served with its own “Ordinary it is then,” says the chairman. “Think yourself lucky,” said the chap comfort blanket, but imagine a night “Any other business?” next to me as he scooped up three spent with Trashy Blonde – all right, we Actually, “ordinary” is a brewing industry foaming pints, poking his elbows out to might let that one pass. term for a standard bitter, but with a little protect them from the crowd, while imagination the beer could have been simultaneously half-crouching in the way The other end of the scale is no better, New Dawn or Newcastle Original. It men do when lifting more than one small however. I fondly remember a beer from doesn’t take a rocket scientist to come object – they feel compelled to bend at the long-gone Northern Clubs’ the knee and let their thighs take the Federation Brewery. Ordinary, it was up with an appropriate name. Let’s ask strain, even though three pints isn’t called, Fed Ordinary. Its christening Ein Stein. exactly a heavy load. “Think yourself lucky,” he repeated. “I’ve just asked for three Nine Tenths.” It struck me then that beer names get dafter by the day, so it’s little wonder the girl smiled. I recall one called Two Pints. Imagine the scene. “I’ll have Two Pints, please.” “Yes sir, two pints of what?” It could go on all night. You know where you are and what to expect when an ale’s called, for example, Tyneside Blonde. In one phrase its origin and a rough idea of its colour are made clear. Similarly with Shropshire Gold or Dark Peat Stout – the guessing has been removed and you don’t feel stupid for ordering it. But ask if the pub has an Idle Landlord, or enquire WHY CAN’T ALL BEERS BE SOMETHING AKIN TO WEYMOUTH BEST BITTER OR VITAL SPARK OR TWIST & STOUT ... © volff - fotolia.com - volff © 49 THE LAST WORD with Harry Pearson KEEP FIT: IT’S JUST NOT HEALTHY

Recently signs have begun to appear on Saw a pig on the way home and got to the local parish noticeboards for thinking, “I wonder…”). something called Zumba Sessions. “AT ONE TIME THE Zumba is the latest exercise craze to hit Much weirder than pilates and zumba, is rural Britain. We have survived numerous GYM WAS, IN ANY the strange modern obsession with waves of them over the decades, with going “to the gym”. At one time the gym only the odd slipped disc to show for it. SANE ADULT’S VIEW, was, in any sane adult’s view, a place of Perhaps the least expected was horror filled with aluminium climbing belly-dancing, which enjoyed quite a A PLACE OF HORROR” apparatus, rubber mats besmirched with vogue ten years ago. Even the WI was ancient and mysterious stains in the doing it. swatch of unruly hair out of his eyes, manner of a tramp’s vest, vindictive PE effect a raffish lopsided grin and wink at teachers and spotty-faced boys hanging Pilates was another one. Ten years ago barmaids. off the wall bars scratching their fetid hardly anybody had heard of it, then armpits and making gibbon noises. This suddenly it seemed that there was not a The alternative to the RCAF manual was abysmal scene was rendered all the community centre in the land that did not to be found in adverts at the back of DC more ghastly by the powerful odour of obey the biblical injunction that comics. Here a puny specimen named fear and municipal boiled cabbage that “whenever a few are gathered together in Mitch was getting sand kicked in his face hovered forever in the stagnant air and my name there they shall gently stretch by burly bullies (the bullies had got burly the terror that you might be forced to their abductor muscles by wrapping a by humping sand around everywhere climb up a rope, thus affording teenage pink scarf round their feet and pulling on with them so they had some handy when girls the chance to see up the leg of your it”. Fitness regimes are like that, though. they came across Mitch). In stepped shorts and giggle. No adult in his or her One minute they are all the rage, the next Charles Atlas, a man with muscles of right mind – ie not a PE teacher – would they are stuffed in the back of teak and the complexion to match. willingly enter so dismal a place. metaphorical garage being nibbled by Charles was so manly that even the fact any mice still hungry after munching he was wearing leopard-skin trunks Then, one day some entrepreneur hit on through the hi-fibre diet books. didn’t deter him from posing around on the brilliant idea of making the gymna- street corners like he had an invisible sium members-only and charging vast When I was younger people used to do firkin tucked under each arm. sums of money to enter it. Bingo! circuit training as recommended in the Suddenly it was all “I’ve just joined a Royal Canadian Air Force fitness manual. Mitch quickly discovered that, under gym”, “Oh, how super. I love the gym. You may wonder why it was always the instruction from Atlas, it was possible to What gym are you in?” “I must pop out to Royal Canadian Air Force fitness manual scare off adversaries by tearing a the gym at lunchtime” and “I haven’t been that was used. The reason is simple. The telephone directory in half and blowing in the gym all week and I feel absolutely obvious alternative, the (British) Royal Air up a hot-water bottle until it was so full of ghastly, darling”. Nowadays if you want to Force fitness manual was too air it burst (how did someone discover swing on the wall bars while scratching specialised, consisting as it did entirely you could do that incidentally? Are there your armpits and making gibbon noises of exercises designed to improve the people who go round inflating things as a you have to wait in line behind dozens of pilot’s ability to nonchalantly toss a hobby? “Hi honey. Sorry about the smell. barristers and junior accountants. 50 THREEDOM OF CHOICE 3 FLIGHTS PER WEEK FROM GLASGOW TO STAVANGER

It pays to flyeasternairways.com UP TO % 15OFF CAR HIRE IN THE UK

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Discount offer may vary according to location and date of hire. Maximum discount at selected locations only. Offer valid up to 17th December 2011 and excludes hires that include a local bank holiday or public holiday. Offer available for hires up to 28 days duration. Discount can not be used in conjunction with any other offer. Participating locations only. Europcar standard terms and conditions of hire apply please visit easternairways.com for full details.

08/11