Fiction

ad news usually came through the phone, so Marie was unprepared to receive it in the Wal- Bgreen's, face to face with her daughter's landlord. She was waiting in line at the pharmacy counter, where she was picking up three months' worth of medication for herself and Jimmy, her husband. There were at least five pharmacies that were closer to home, but Marie chose this one because she didn't want folks in town knowing her family's business.

There was Jimmy's Glucophage and Good, Marie had thought. Welcome to Wade's voice was soothing, deep and Coumadin and some cholesterol drug the club. Then, because she knew how mellow as whiskey. She wondered idly (he'd had a minor stroke seven years much doctors valued compliance, she’d what his hands might feel like in her hair, ago); she was also picking up Atenolol put the prescription in her purse. on her waist. Marie felt her shoulders for her bumpy heart, as she called it. Now, as Marie waited in the inter- relax. Then, all at once, she realized that Sometimes, the rhythm would shift from minable line at the pharmacy, she re- Wade was rather handsome, that she was its usual light beat to a chaotic tempo called reading that so many people took at least twenty years older, and that she that felt like a bag of groceries had split these drugs traces were present in the hadn't been distracted by another man open in her chest and things were tum- drinking water. Why, if the whole world in so many years she couldn't begin to bling out of the bottom too fast to catch. was happier on medication, shouldn't count them. Today, she would also receive her first she surrender? She'd taken five days’ Wade tilted his head at her, as if he bottle of Buproprion, which Dr. Khira worth of the sample pills and noticed, if knew what she was thinking. had prescribed at her annual physical nothing else, that she felt a bit more "Hey," he asked, "how's Edna doing last week after she'd ticked the box for awake. these days?" depression. She'd hoped he'd ask her "Mrs. Moore, I was just thinking about "Enda," Marie gently corrected him. about her sadness, but instead he'd you!" Wade Thayer, her daughter's land- "We gave her my mother’s name. Irish." handed her two weeks' worth of free lord in Cedar Grove Apartments, stood "Enda, yes. That's nice. Old-fashioned." pills and a pharmaceutical brochure—an beside her wearing a lime green polo "We spoke by phone last week. You've e"ective dodge, she supposed—that shirt with a flashy swordfish embroi- got your rent?" enabled physicians to avoid speaking at dered over the chest pocket. He was a "Yes, yes." length to their patients. big man, tall and thickly built, and Marie "She sounded fine. She's doing better." In essence, he’d handed her a picture was amused to see him pushing a dainty "Well, good." He sounded genuinely book. First there was a fair-haired woman blue plastic cart full of discounted bat- pleased. “So, she's working?" in a gray kitchen, holding her head. Then teries, light bulbs, and cheap plastic chil- "Enda, yes. She's got a little job help- there was a brilliant yellow pill. Finally, dren's toy sets. One was a princess set ing out at the Gulfstream at lunch and there was the same woman wearing pas- with a tiara, a synthetic blonde ponytail, dinner. Not waitressing, of course. Some- tels, lipstick, and tossing a ball with two and a hand mirror. "I stock up after the times she buses, but mostly she handles children. Marie had looked at Dr. Khira, holidays," he shrugged. the dishwashing. She says she enjoys it." ready to speak, but instead smiled a "Grandchildren?" asked Marie. Wade laughed. "I can see that. Don't smile that was more a reflex, a simple "No, no. I like to give out little things tell my Julie, but I like doing the dishes, revelation of teeth, than an expression of now and again to the kids at Cedar too." Marie o"ered a smile. She'd never her true emotional state. For the smallest Grove when I collect the rent, make re- met Julie, Wade's wife. of moments, he’d appeared bewildered. pairs." "Well, see, the reason I ask about Enda

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is that I've been bit worried for her lurch. "I was out there today and told her one of the men she'd dated, though health—since she's taken to wearing that she had to stop. She stormed o" to her Marie doubted people called it that any- wig." Marie blinked. "Wig?" She felt her apartment. She took a few bits with her: more. The livid bruises that ran from the throat constrict. a child's shoe and a bag from Bullock's outside of her wrists to her elbows Well, you know, when you see a wig or Barbecue. I know she's got food; why bloomed huge and alarming, but the a scarf on a younger woman, you auto- does she want that? I tried to talk to her, ones that made Marie weep were the matically think—well," he lowered his but she won't answer my calls and re- small faded blue and green fingerprints voice, "you know." fuses to open the door. I was going to on Enda's upper arms, along her neck. Marie forced out a breathy little laugh. phone you this evening, but," he spread The bartender where she worked wash- "I can assure you, Wade, that Enda does- his hands wide, "then here you were. ing dishes had been her salvation: Enda n't have cancer. She's just—Enda. One Here you are. How about that?" said he'd taken her to the bus station, month she's a redhead; the next she's a "I think you're confusing her with bought her ticket, packed her food, and blonde. Why not a wig?" She waved her someone else, Wade," she said. "I don't gave her his methadone for the long trip hand through the air and her metal doubt the wig, but dumpster diving? home. watch unclasped and flew from her wrist. That doesn't sound like Enda at all." The fee for Enda’s residential rehab Wade fetched it for her. “Mrs. Moore--" was four times the cost of their first "May I help the next person in line?" "Of course, I'll check in with her, just home. At first, Jimmy had refused to pay, "Good to see you, Wade." the same. It's been a couple weeks." arguing that "the girl had to be respon- The cashier retrieved Marie's pre- "Oh, I'm sure that would help." He sible for her own mess." Marie had to re- scriptions and rang her out. Several fliers squeezed her shoulder, his college ring mind him that though Enda was a were stapled to the outside of her bag: sharp on her collarbone. thirty-seven-year-old woman, she'd never one page had her name in bold black let- Marie fled the store but sat for a long held a job with benefits or insurance. ters at the top and the word Buproprion, while in her parked car. The winters were Jimmy relented, though he cashed in also bold. She folded the bag so no one mild along the North Carolina coast, so Enda's unused college fund to cover the could read it. unlike her childhood home in Ohio. It bulk of treatment. Wade Thayer was still lurking around was shirtsleeve weather today, in Janu- "Don’t expect me to keep funding her the pharmacy section, leaning on his ary. Marie ran her hands along the nap forever, Marie," he’d warned. shopping cart with his tanned, sandy- of the upholstery until she felt the hairs "No one," Marie told him, "has asked haired forearms, waiting for her to finish. on her neck settle down, until her eyes you to do anything forever." She'd hoped their conversation was over; ceased to sting. She wished she could Their conflict regarding Enda calci- now she saw there was more. He mo- open her mouth and bellow her fury at fied. Marie felt, as the rehab center did, tioned her over to the shampoo aisle. Wade Thayer. He was concerned for his that Enda had an illness, a mental illness, "Mrs. Moore, Marie, there's something investment, she thought, for his inter- in addition to her former substance else. I don't know how to say this; I'm just ests—not for Enda. She watched as Wade abuse. Jimmy believed Enda had some going to say it. Enda's been in the exited the store with a bit of bounce "issues" that included malingering and dumpsters. I've been out twice this in his step, his burden o#oaded. taking advantage of his ability to pay for week after folks called. See, it dis- her needs. tresses the other residents. And, . . . Since Enda's return from rehab, she of course, they worry for her, too. Eighteen months ago, after nearly and Jimmy had coiled away from each Does she have everything she two decades of what Marie had other, and meaningful conversation needs?" thought was a sad yet peaceable es- ceased. The night Enda arrived back "What do you mean, in the trangement common to families, home, Marie dreamt the small skeleton dumpsters?" Enda had appeared at their house like of a bird had lodged beneath her heart. "I'm sorry to tell you this. But a stray animal: dirty, trembling, her Once awake, the pain knotted in her she's been outside, wearing that long hair tangled and matted so badly chest. Marie had no idea what her dream wig and rooting through the that it had to be cut. She'd been living meant, but it reminded her of how, as a trash." Marie felt her heart in Memphis, and had been beaten by young woman, she’d once aspirated a

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fishbone at a family reunion. It had stuck legs before coming to where Marie stood on the back patio, talking on his in her throat so she could not speak. She stood. cell phone. The brick walls were so thick, couldn’t recall the extrication, but re- "Hey, there, nasty thing," Marie reception in the house wasn't possible. membered as she’d choked, no one no- stroked the cat's silky head. The door to She tapped on the glass door but he ticed. She’d felt wild with panic, but at Enda's bedroom was open. Her sheets couldn't hear her. They were both con- the same time, she’d felt embarrassed, were huddled in a pile in the center of sidering hearing aids. Once he was at the afraid she’d ruin the party. the bed. It appeared she slept directly on right angle to see her, she waved the bags at him so he would know she had . . . returned. Marie decided to stop by Cedar Grove Jimmy finished his conversation and on her way home from the pharmacy. Marie returned to she watched as he carried an empty oys- There were eight apartments in each the living room and ter cage to the shed. This season, he unit: four on top and four below. Last knelt in front of Enda planned to restore ten thousand oysters summer, Wade had installed white plas- to the cove. He'd built a special shed for tic rails along the landings that would to catch her eye. For the this purpose, and there were three chalky never need painting. The roof, a patch- first time she saw Enda mountains of recycled oyster shells on work of new and faded shingles from the had a small pink du!e the west side of their property, along tropical storms and nor'easters that with a used Bobcat. passed through each year, needed tend- bag packed, tucked Marie removed her watch and rings, ing. The stairs and landing were covered alongside the sofa. Her set them in the kitchen windowsill, and in Astroturf. red Converse high tops washed her hands. She took two tuna Marie pushed the plastic button on steaks caught during Jimmy's deep sea Enda's door. A bell chimed inside. She sat beside them. weekend last fall along with two ears of knocked on the door with the heel of her corn from the freezer. Jimmy was proud hand. of their thrift; she knew he'd note at din- "Enda! It's Mother. Are you here?" the mattress. ner that the whole meal had cost them Marie didn't know Enda's schedule, ex- The apartment, which Marie and next to nothing. Marie wouldn't point out cept that she usually didn't work until Jimmy also funded, was essentially two the $70,000 boat and the thousands of later in the day. Her antipsychotic, if she rooms: a modest bedroom and a dollars in equipment and fishing gear, all was taking it, kept her groggy for a cou- living/dining area. A tiny pink-tiled of which Jimmy meticulously main- ple hours each morning. Marie fished bathroom was located between the two. tained. Though they could more than af- Enda's spare key from her purse but hes- "Enda?" ford it, these were their only luxuries. itated a few long seconds. She worried Marie pushed open the bathroom They carried no credit cards, and no that she'd walk in on something she'd door. When she flipped on the light, a debt. Jimmy managed the money, ex- rather not see: Enda in bed with a man, palmetto bug slipped behind the mirror. cept for the eleven hundred dollars he drugs, or Enda muttering to herself, the The ceiling around the shower was deposited each month in Marie's house- way she did when she was o" her meds. lightly speckled with mildew. There was hold checking account. Their land, in- Then she thought of Enda in the dump- no sign of a wig. herited from his people and passed ster and unlocked the apartment. She scooped the litter box, put the down through generations, had swelled The fierce smell of ammonia met her. waste in a plastic grocery bag, and left. in value from fifty thousand to nearly Marie had opposed the cat for exactly Enda was not at the dumpsters. When two million dollars in the last two this reason. Enda barely cleaned up after Marie tossed in the bag she forced her- decades. Their regular investments had herself. Cleaning up after the cat was un- self to open each bin and look inside, just increased as well and rivaled their real- likely. to be sure. estate wealth. Even so, they still carefully "En-da!" she sang, so as not to alarm considered each expenditure, clipped the girl. "Nomad!" The cat came out from . . . coupons, bought store brands, never under the sofa and stretched its hind She arrived home at dusk. Jimmy travelled. Both had grown up without, as

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they qualified it. They knew the same thought, Enda had bumped her head. No, from the terrorists at her apartment com- fickle wind that raised them up could more likely she'd badly permed her hair, plex." Something inside Marie slipped. also demolish them in an instant. or dyed it blue—that would be like Enda. She felt her body as something beside Marie poured herself a half glass of Marie figured that if she o"ered her her, heavy and substantial, yet foreign. whatever white wine had been on sale daughter a trip to the salon, she'd be able "I'm sure there's a reason," Marie said, that week and emptied Jimmy's beer to see what was beneath the wig. though she knew better than to hope. into a frosted mug, just as she'd done Jimmy was beside the boat shed, put- "Let's go by there and talk with her." nearly each night they dined together ting on his waders. "You talk with her." The lenses of his during their marriage. These day-to-day "I think I'm going to drive into town glasses flashed bright and opaque and routines had once seemed to her like today," she called out to him. "Help Enda his mouth trembled. The combined e"ect mindless habits. Of late, they'd become with some shopping. I don't think she made it appear that he was weeping, but the only small comforts she had—those works on Thursdays." his voice was quiet, as it was when he was she could rely upon herself to create. He sighed. Then, lumbering in his sti" enraged but trying to maintain control. Jimmy was sullen during their meal. waders like a man slogging through "When you do, you tell her she pays her She expected him to be irritated that she way now. There will be no more money." had run late, and had prepared a story "Oh, Jimmy." about stopping by his mother's grave to "You can't save her, Marie. Give her replace the plastic flowers. She hadn’t ex- When she first money and this will just keep happen- pected him to pout. Then, to Marie's sur- truly understood that ing." prise, he apologized. Enda would always "What will she—" "Time got away from me," he said. "I'm "She'll be forced to figure it out, just so sorry." He looked genuinely ag- need their help, Marie like the rest of the world." grieved. "I didn't mean to make you wait had taken a small guilty "She can't. It's not a choice for her." on supper." solace in the situation. "Of course it's a choice; give the child She was flustered, but touched by the some credit. You want to give her naked emotion on his face. "It's fine. I She felt her public money? Then get yourself a job and give was late too," she said, hoping he'd ask identity in old age was her all your money—she'll get no more her why. Then, to fill the silence, she now clear: to tend her from me. Jesus, I knew you'd get sucked asked how long once he installed the in again. That's why I didn't tell you last reefs it would take their cover to re- damaged daughter. week." She felt herself return to her body, cover. Jimmy had dredged for decades, only now it felt like a trap. so he could moor his boat at home in- "You knew she was in trouble last stead of at the marina. Later, the marsh mud, Jimmy made his way to where week?" Her voice emerged thin and began to die, and their water with it. Marie sat. "She won't be at work; she squeezed. Forty years ago, they would swim on doesn't work any day, now." Jimmy reddened in his fury. "Marie—" summer nights, and the water they dis- "What are you saying?" "Come with me today, please," she turbed would shimmer, silver and alive. "She's been fired, Marie. She hasn't whispered, "Come look at your daughter." Marie remembered it like a romantic been to work in six days. Six days! She Jimmy took a breath and shook his film she’d once seen, with someone she hasn't even been in to get her paycheck. head. "The best thing that could hap- could barely recall. George from the Gulfstream called the pen—for her, for you, for me—would be other day asking if he should mail it here. that she just—goes away." . . . She told him she was moving—to Mars!" Marie’s chest burned, as if her breath The next morning, Marie sat on their He waved his hands in the air. had been knocked from her. "Please." dock, smoked her morning cigarette, "Mars Hill Apartments, maybe?" "I can’t,” he said, and gripped his fore- took her pill, and thought about Enda Marie said. head. "It’s so much worse when she’s in and the wig. Marie decided Enda was "Enda made it clear to George that fly- our lives." Marie stifled a flash of rage concealing something. Perhaps, Marie ing to Mars was the only way to get away and turned away. "We will never stop

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being heartbroken," he continued. "Don’t stop, for Enda to come to her senses, re- here. Perhaps Jimmy was right. How you see? That’s our forever. I just want turn to work at the Gulfstream, and need much were they expected to give? For some peace. We’ve only ever known that a reasonable bit of help to get by—the oc- how long? As Marie drove, she came to when she’s gone. I’m so tired, Marie." casional run to the grocer's or doctor's. the conclusion that Enda simply had to Marie gripped her knees to her chest. Yet each crisis further eroded Enda's contribute more. Maybe, she thought, if The oily smell of the marsh was on the ability to function. She never fully Enda had more obligations, more hours breeze. She stared out at the cove. A gull bounced back. Marie knew Enda's only than she’d had at the Gulfstream, she'd on the dock flipped its head back, un- hope was to stabilize, as one of the rehab do better. Once Jimmy saw the girl was hinged its red maw, and gave a tinny counselors said. When Enda was in doing that, Marie thought he'd soften laugh. "What kind of person says that, rehab, Marie thought stability would ar- about continuing to help her financially. Jimmy?" rive when Enda stopped taking street When Marie pulled in to Enda's apart- "I want our lives back. If that means drugs. Marie now understood the coun- ment complex, she was ready to do battle she goes away, and we never see her selor meant that Enda’s mental illness with her to keep her safe and where she again, well, I can find a way live with had to stabilize as well, and that had belonged. Wade's truck was there. Marie that." Marie knew this was true. But since proven tricky to diagnose and treat. hoped that she could get in and out with- Enda's return, Marie had not wished to Enda's psychiatric diagnoses, from out speaking with him. She was halfway return to the peaceful life Jimmy four separate cities, listed her alternately to Enda's apartment when a sheri"'s car thought he had lost. What she longed for as schizoa"ective, manic, su"ering PTSD pulled into the lot. Marie saw now, down was her daughter's return to health. and, in the notes from the twenty-bed the landing, that Enda's door was open. Marie stood to face him. "I'm leaving backwater hospital in rural Oklahoma, A current of panic surged through her now to see Enda. She'll need her rent and simply "exhausted" and "emotionally la- body. Wade emerged from Enda's apart- allowance money." bile." The counselor at the rehab center ment. Marie heard a noise like shouting. "I won’t be taken advantage of any said that, though she'd shown symptoms "Thank God you're here, Mrs. Moore. I longer," said Jimmy. "Maybe you can af- of a variety of psychiatric conditions at talked to your husband yesterday ford to fly to Mars with her, but I can't." di"erent times, a formal diagnosis mat- evening, after all this happened. I told Marie started back to the house, but tered little. The bottom line was that him she couldn't stay. She can't stay, Mrs. he tried to catch her hand. "Don't you Enda was periodically psychotic--with or Moore. Not like this." Marie heard glass dare touch me," she growled. without crack, or meth, or heroin—but the breaking, then music. Jimmy shook his head, and then street drugs made her psychosis expo- She ignored Wade and walked into walked into the fifty-degree water, nearly nentially worse. Still, Enda had managed the apartment. The television was on full to his chest, to retrieve his oyster trays. to stay clean, live alone, work, and consis- blast. Enda, however, was sitting quietly tently take her psychiatric medication for on the sofa, wearing a pink t-shirt . . . six months, allowing something like a stretched too tightly across her bosom. When she first truly understood that normal rhythm to return to her days. Perched atop her head like a coonskin Enda would always need their help, cap was the pale blond wig. Enda didn't Marie had taken a small guilty sol- . . . look up. Nomad was curled on her chest, ace in the situation. She felt her Before Marie started the car to go aggressively purring. public identity in old age was now to Enda's, she called Bella's salon and Marie took the remote and muted the clear: to tend her damaged daugh- made two hair appointments. Then volume. ter. But she hadn't been prepared she looked in her wallet. Sixty-seven Fern, Enda's county social worker, a for how the antipsychotics left dollars in cash, one BP gas card, and tiny slip of a woman, came out of the her beautiful, red-haired daugh- her household allowance checkbook kitchen with a steaming mug and set it ter fat and lethargic. It was no which, because it was the fourth on the table. She patted Marie's arm, wonder Enda hated taking them. week in the month, held a mere then went to greet the sheri". Now this business with the wig, $229.40. Enda was going to need "Enda, honey," said Marie "what's and picking through the trash! money if she was indeed moving to going on? Marie just wanted it all to Mars Hill, and more than she had "I can't talk with them here," Enda

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whispered, and looked to the door where illness talking." "I'm her mother!" Marie laughed. "This Wade, the sheri", and Fern had gathered. Fern rested her hand on Marie's arm. is absurd." Marie understood Fern had Marie marched to the door to close it, "Mars is the homeless encampment—it's compassion but no power. Right now, but Fern quickly stepped inside. She what people call the camp." that made her useless. looked minuscule compared to the men, "I thought you said she was refusing Marie returned to the living room and and Marie understood that was why Fern shelter." Marie followed Fern to the knelt in front of Enda to catch her eye. always wore lumpy sweaters and coats— kitchen. For the first time she saw Enda had a to give her the appearance of bulk. "Mrs. Moore, Mars isn't shelter. It's just small pink du#e bag packed, tucked "Give us a minute, gentleman," said a wooded area, where the people camp. alongside the sofa. Her red Converse Fern. Then she closed the door and It's—" high tops sat beside them. locked it. "Oh my God. Why can't you take her "Enda," she said mildly, careful not to "Thank you for that," said Marie. to the hospital?" let her tone upset the girl, "when are you "Mrs. Moore, she's refusing the hospi- "She's not a danger—to herself or any- leaving?" tal right now. There's a women's shelter one, really. Even temporary commit- Enda shrugged. nearby that can take her, but she's not in- "I'd like to get you a couple things, terested. It may be too late, it usually fills honey. Can you wait a while?" by noon. Maybe you could convince her "Mr. Thayer is threatening to evict her to go home with you? Until I can locate "Mrs. Moore, she's re- today at noon, Mrs. Moore." other housing?" fusing the hospital right "No. That's not going to happen," "I don't understand. So what if she's Marie kept looking at her daughter. "He been in the dumpsters! Is that grounds now. There's a women's can't evict her on such short notice. It's for eviction?" shelter nearby that can not legal." Fern's eyes grew wide behind her take her, but she's not in- "It's easier than you might imagine. glasses. "I don't know anything about Especially with her recent behavior. " that, Mrs. Moore. O" the record, I was terested. It may be too "I told him I am going," Enda said. "I called because she has been harassing late, it usually fills by was going before he told me I should the neighbors. She thinks they are all noon. Maybe you could leave. I'm just saying good-bye to with Al Qaeda. She's been leaving them Nomad." notes. Yesterday evening she was in- convince her to go home Marie looked at her watch—it was volved in an altercation. No one is press- with you? Until I can lo- 10:15. "Fern, you tell them if they so much ing charges, but—" cate other housing?" as talk to her or make a move to put her "I know them from before," Enda said on the street, I'll—" Marie cast about for thickly. "They look di"erent, but they are a viable threat. "Why, I'll sue them blind," spying on us." she said, aware she sounded more like a Marie lowered her voice. "You know ment—it’s complicated. We can only television actress than herself. "Enda, her father won't have her at home. intervene under certain circumstances. Mother is just going out to get you a few Maybe a hotel?” Choosing to be homeless isn't one of things. You wait here. Promise me." Enda "Mrs. Moore, I think that's not very them. Arguing with the neighbors isn't nodded. Her head was bowed, her fat likely in her state." either." bottom lip jutted out the same way it had "Well, I could book her room. I guess I "But she's delusional." when she was six years old and headed could stay with her, if she needs it." After "Maybe so. Even if she is delusional, to her first day of kindergarten. Marie heard herself, she felt ashamed of that's not grounds enough for emer- "Now, tell me where Mars is, exactly." her reticence. "I mean, if she'll let me." gency commitment." "I have a friend on Mars who escaped "If you can't help, why are you here? . . . Al Qaeda. I'm going to live there too." What earthly good are you?" Marie was surprised how close the en- "Oh, stop it!" Marie yelled at Enda. Fern’s eyes reddened at the jab. "I'm campment was—to nearly everything. "You are not going to Mars! That's your her caseworker." Her favorite Italian restaurant and her

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dental o$ce were less than a mile away. badly chapped. His mouth had a livid move to Mars with only her pink du#e So was Enda's apartment, as the crow red ring around it. bag. Where would she sleep? Then flies. To get to Mars, Marie simply "Why are you here?" he asked. His Marie saw it: Sportsman’s Paradise. In a parked at Sandy Creek Shopping Center, face, despite its youth, hardened as he mere fifteen minutes, Marie bought a the upscale shopping mall. There, she studied her. camp cook set, bottles, plates, two weeks’ crossed a large weedy lot behind the new "I—well, I know someone who wants to worth of freeze-dried food, a tent, sleep- sixteen-screen cinema and traveled a live here." ing bag, sleeping mat, and wet wipes. mere hundred yards down a narrow "No one's supposed to know." Marie studied the scru"y bearded sales- beaten path through the trash pines. "What? That you're here?" man. Was he homeless?, she wondered. She'd envisioned Mars as a state park, "My mom and dad will be home soon. He recommended fuel for the stove, eco- but it wasn't like that at all. There were We didn't have school today." friendly toilet paper, and a rain poncho. tents, some with filthy carpet remnants "OK," said Marie. She scanned the He opened and packed everything for draped on top, some with blue tarp. The woods. Was someone waiting to grab her in the oversized backpack, and at- stakes were rusted. A few had clothes- her? Was this just a set up? tached the bedroll below. She wrote him lines strung between trees. She walked "They'll be back from work around a check for $876.23. It would be days be- lightly, fearful of surprising someone. five. My mom works right there." He fore it bounced. Marie felt Enda would She'd left her purse in the trunk, but her pointed to Sandy Creek Mall. "Bill, my be OK for a few days or longer. Jimmy jewelry was still on. She twisted her rings stepdad, he installs carpet. His boss has could be persuaded. Yet, as Marie rushed around to conceal the stones, as if that a white Silverado with heated seats." back to Cedar Grove, with the backpack would prevent her from harm. "Do you need anything?" Marie asked. in the trunk, she wondered if any action "Hello?" she called. "I'm a friend of "Do you want me to ask Fern about the by Jimmy could truly alter Enda’s Fern's. Is there anyone here?" Marie tickets?" course. She was refusing shelter and counted twelve tents, some in such a "No! Please don't tell her you saw me. medical help because she couldn’t think state of disrepair, torn and moldy, that I'm allowed to. Sometimes they let me clearly. And she wouldn’t be able to think they couldn't be occupied. One however, stay here with them. Please don't tell. I clearly without treatment. had a$xed a small cedar wreath to the don't want to live with my aunt." Enda stood in the parking lot of entrance. A fire area was in a small clear- "Do you like it here?" Marie asked, Cedar Grove, her small pink du#e bag ing, and there were sooty melted plastic then immediately regretted it. What sort tucked under her arm like a football, bottles in the center. Then Marie heard of answer did she expect? when Marie returned. Wade and the a rustling in the leaves, and she spooked, The boy dragged his foot through the sheri" were gone, but Fern remained. hurrying back along the path, her mouth pine needles. "Don't tell Fern. But if she "They left when Enda said she was va- dry. Her foot snagged on a fallen branch. gives you the tickets, you bring them cating anyway," Fern said. "That way "Hey, lady. Lady!" A young boy ran up back, OK?" Wade isn't formally evicting her." to her, from the direction of the camp. He Marie was breathless by the time she "Fern is taking Nomad while wore blue jeans and a pu"y brown jacket. got back to her car. She dialed Jimmy. I'm gone. Don't worry, Mom." "You're a friend of Fern's? Did she send When he didn't answer, she left him a Enda wrapped Marie in her you with the tickets?" long message. She could understand his arms. and leaned her whole "What? No. I'm sorry, I don't know any- desire for Enda to disappear from his life, heavy body against Marie. thing about tickets." but she felt certain he wouldn't want this. "Fern knows how to take "Oh." Within minutes Jimmy texted her. care of pets." Marie noticed the child looked rum- His message read: Let her go. Marie buried her face in pled, and had a large cowlick on the side For a few long seconds, the world Enda’s neck. Her daughter of his head, as if he'd been napping. around her seemed to blur and melt. smelled of cigarettes and "Do you live here, young man? How Marie thought she’d go mad. But she grape bubblegum. Enda rocked old are you? Ten?" didn't. Instead, her thoughts quickly fo- her side to side, and the blond The boy licked his lips, which were cused. There was no way that Enda could wig slid between them.

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Marie reached up and cupped her Marie had felt whole, complete in the bundle she'd discarded on the stoop, daughter's head. Beneath the wig world. Never had there been another and sat down beside it. Then came there was no bad perm or dye job, and time like that. the tears. Her sobs felt torn from her, no head injury. The only thing it had Fern gently approached. "I'll check but there were fewer than she ex- covered was her daughter's di- on her, Mrs. Moore. Most times this pected. When, at last, she was done, sheveled hair. Her baby girl's hair, is a temporary situation.” Marie positioned herself in front of graying. "What happens now?" Marie whis- the backpack, slid her arms through "Enda, honey, wait. I've got some- pered. the straps, and clipped the harness thing for you." Marie took the back- "I go down to Mars each week, around her chest. Then she pulled pack out of the trunk. "I bought Fern said. There's a sandwich shop herself to her feet and trudged across everything you'll need for Mars. near the mall where people go at the the field toward her daughter's dim- Cookware, a sleeping bag, there's a end of the day. The manager hands ming shape.  small co"eemaker, and bags of out food. He's not supposed to, but freeze-dried dinners. Turkey tetrazz- he's kind. Sometimes people agree to ini, mac and cheese." the hospital or shelter after a while Enda started walking toward the on the street. Enda's been briefly field just across the way. Marie homeless before. In Okla- dumped the backpack on the land- homa. This isn't new to ing and walked beside her daughter. her." Homeless. Marie "Enda, let's go stay at a hotel. It will hadn't known. be fun." Marie looked "I'm going to Mars. Once I'm there, at the back- I'll send a message." pack, that "Please, take the backpack." massive "Mom, no!" yelled Enda. Then she stumbled, and kicked a soda bottle from her path. “God!” Marie quaked with fear. She’d never felt so forlorn. Right then she remembered how she used to nurse Enda to sleep when she was first born. How Marie had marveled at her baby’s tender arms, her glossy red mouth, and fat auburn curls. Enda had been born in the spring, when pollen hung thick on the pines and the air smelled fresh and green. Those early days with her baby,

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