The SAMS Lyceum of Martial and Societal Antediluvian Chronicles An addendum to The SAMS Sporran – March 1, 2019 American History Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.* I used to tell all my students this as often as I could As a student of History and a teacher of the same subject (30years) I have always believed that they way to discover the truth was to research it. One shouldn't take word of someone else.* More than likely their 'word' is; an opinion based on a 'feeling' not a fact. It could be an assumption based on another assumption. More than likely it is something repeated by someone who heard it from someone who heard it from some else. Hence, the Don't Believe Anything, shibboleth. People have always done this. By way of example one phrase the vacuous talking heads and television newsreaders always use is; The 50 States**. Although this is demonstrably untrue, it gets repeated and repeated until most folks take it as a truism. Another of repeated malapropism is 'The Office of The President'. I always enjoy (if that is the correct word) January 20th every four years. I take a perverse delight in listening to self proclaimed 'experts' discuss the proceedings. They spend the day 'analyzing' everything and as usual they all are incredibly wrong. They simply haven't taken the time to perform simple research about what they say. By way of example, our current president is in actuality our 60th - president. Yes , there were fifteen other gentleman before .(Remember him? He was off fighting a war in 1776. He didn't become president until 1783.) His predecessors were , , Payton Randolph (the first president to serve non consecutive terms. Gover Cleveland was the other.) , , , Samuel Huntington, Thomas McKean, , of Fredrick, Md.(John Hanson was the first president to serve a one-year term under the terms of the Articles of Confederation. There is a statue of him in The Statuary Hall in the US Capitol. It proclaims him the "first President of the United States") , , , Nathan Gorham, Arthur Saint Clair and Cyrus Griffin. These distinguished gentlemen were ALL Presidents of the United States. This is fact, not opinion. You can look it up. As an addendum, the first president to actually earn a Nobels Fredspris, (Noble Peace Prize) for was Theodore Roosevelt. For the nay-sayers there are a some 'progressive' historians who claim they were presidents under the first, or “older' therefore incorrect laws. Many of those laws remain in the constitution and some were 'amended' and some were voided as is still occurring today. These “progressive historians” ( Think of George Orwell's acclaimed book 1984 ) claim that because we 'revised' the Articles of Confederation and these men don't count. Therefore our 'real' first president was George Washington. It is obviously a fallacious statement. When we, the people, revised or 'amended' those laws we tossed out the rules that didn't work. We kept the ones that did and added a few more. It is clear that these 'historians' (and I use that word advisedly) never actually used a dictionary, studied logic or critical thinking. Using their own twisted logic every time we amended the laws we would have to start from scratch with a whole new list of Presidents. The last Amendment (change) was ratified on May 5, 1992. This foolishness would lead one to the conclusion that our first president was William Clinton and our current president Donald Trump, is the fourth president. Clearly this assumption is both fallacious and illogical. I refer you to the writings of Jonathan Swift, Alexander Pope, John Gay and John Arbuthnot, who in their missive The Memoirs of Martinus Scribulers asks the question; If you have a pair of socks and fter a time one gits a hole you mend it. Wear it again only to find another hole. You darn it again. This scenario is repeated until there is none of the original thread left. Their question was, “Is it the same sock?” Quod erat demonstrandum.

“To penetrate and dissipate these clouds of darkness, the general mind must be strengthened by education. Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.” Thomas Jefferson

*One hears gossip, rumors, and opinions. Magicians make you 'see' events that haven't or couldn't physically happen. Both of these are what the dictionary refers to as 'illusions'.

**There are only 45 states. The Republic is also composed of 4 'Commonwealths' and 1 'Union of Plantations'. ( Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Virginia and Kentucky are commonwealths. Rhode Island is the Union of The Providence and Rhode Island Plantations. I kid you not. You can look it up. )

Scottish History The Myths of Saint Patrick Dispelled The time has come the walrus said, “To speak of many things of of sailing ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings of why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.” With apologies to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) - the time has come to set a few things straight about an up and coming 'holiday' Saint Patrick's Day. ie: Saint Patrick was Scottish. He was an Italian born in Scotland. Okay not an Italian per se but a Roman. There are many stories floating around about St.Patrick. There are many societies and authors who for whatever reasons want to claim certain “facts” about him. Most of these “facts” are based on hersay, translation errors, or local legend. To learn the truth one must deal with written first level sources. So here are the facts about St. Patrick as recorded by several reputable sources including The vatican after all, he is their saint. Saint Patrick was born in Kilpatrick, Dumbarton in AD 415. Klpatrick was in Caladonia, the Roman name for present day Scotland. It was also part of what later scholars referred to as Roman Britain. Even as late as the 1960's many folks south of the Boarder referred to Scotland as “North Britain”. This led to the confusion about Patrick being British or Welsh. It was simply a case of poor scholarship on their part. His real name was Maewyn Succat. His parents were Calphurnius and Conchessa Succat. His father belonged to a Roman family of high rank and held the office of Decurion. (A decurion {Latin:decurio, plural decuriones} was a Roman cavalry officer in command of a squadron (turma) of cavalrymen in the Roman army.) His unit was stationed at The Antionine Wall marking the northern boundary between Britannia (Roman England) and Caledonia (modern day Scotland). Conchessa Succat was a near relative of the patron saint of Gaul, (France) St. Martin of Tours. When he was sixteen, Maewyn (Patrick) was carried off into captivity by Irish marauders and was sold as a slave to a chieftain named Milchu in Dalriada, a territory in the present county of Antrim in Ireland. For six years he laboured for his new master. One source claims he tended his master's flocks; another refers to him as a swineherd. They both agree it was in the valley of The Braid and on the slopes of Slemish, near the modern town of Ballymena. Following his escape, he joined the priesthood and changed his name to Patricus. At age forty- three he became a bishop and asked to be sent to Ireland. Upon his arrival he sought out his former master and paid him the amount of money that was required for a replacement. The town of Kilpatrick, Scotland still retains many memorials of Saint Patrick. At Kilpatrick frequent pilgrimages were held far into the Middle Ages to perpetuate the fame of his sanctity and miracles.

Now that we have the facts about St. Patrick straight, you might be interested to know that: * “Saint” Patrick isn't a real saint he was never Canonized by a Pope. *St. Patrick’s Day was first celebrated by the Church of England. It was religious Holiday. *In Ireland, it was a dry holiday until AD1970. *The modern St. Patrick’s Day was entirely an Irish-American creation. Which explains a lot. *The first St. Patrick’s Day parade was held in Boston in AD1737 by Irish soldiers fighting for The British. *He did not preach using a shamrock (Gaelic for young clover). Also the shamrock is not the national symbol of Ireland that is The Celtic Harp. *The shamrock, has three leaves and was associated with three, a sacred number in the Celtic (Druid) religion. It was also the symbol of “The Triple Goddesses”. There many forms of the Triad or Triple Goddesses in the Celtic Religion. For example, in ancient Ireland: The Morrigan Triad was Brigid, Ériu, and Morrigan.The similarity between the Celtic Triad and the Trinity was not lost on either Patrick or the Irish he sought to convert. *St. Patrick did not chase the snakes form Ireland. There never were snakes there to begin with, at least not the reptilian kind. Along with Ireland there are no snakes in New Zealand, Iceland, Greenland and Antarctica. You may hold that tidbit in one hand and a dollar in the other and buy a doughnut. *The original color associated with St. Patrick is blue. *“Corned” beef and cabbage, a traditional Saint Patrick’s Day staple, doesn’t have anything to do with the grain - corn (It didn’t arrive in Europe until the 15th century and then it was referred to as maize). Instead, it’s a nod to the large grains of salt that were historically used to cure meats, which were then known as “corns.” *There are no lady Leprechauns. Leprechauns were cobblers (shoemakers). *With all that said and done, it would be quite appropriate of us, on March the 17th, to say “Alba Gu Brath” Scotland Forever. Unless, of course, you are Italian, then it would be “Italia Per Sempre”; Instead of Erin Gu Brath (Ireland Forever) The Vatican Library, Who’s Who in Mythology, The American Catholic Encyclopedia and Wikipedia

From the Mess Hall Oysters Kirkpatrick Ingredients: 3 bacon rashers, finely chopped 12 oysters 2 tbsp fresh breadcrumbs 4 tbsp double cream 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce Lemon wedges, to serve Method: Heat a frying pan and add bacon. Fry gently until brown, then add breadcrumbs and brown briefly. In a separate bowl blend the cream and Worcestershire sauce and spread evenly on each oyster. Top each with bacon-breadcrumb combination. Place oysters on a sheet pan and grill until brown and crisp. Serve with lemon wedges.

Herrings in Oatmeal Ingredients:8 fresh herrings 8oz (225g) oatmeal 4oz (115g) butter 1 teaspoon salt freshly ground black pepper Method: Split and bone herrings, wash well. Mix salt and oatmeal together. Roll herrings in oatmeal, make sure both sides are coated. Heat the butter in a frying pan until hot. Add herring skin side up, fry both sides for 3-5 minutes. Remove from pan and drain on paper towl, serve immediately. Can be used as finger snacks or with mashed potatoes and garden peas. Serves 8 Scottish Crackers This section will feature humorous contributions by our membership. If you told a joke at the last meeting and wish to share it or you have a humorous anecdote please send it in. Good Old Fashioned Scottish Wisdom When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. In the Spirit of St. Paddy’s Day An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her return, her father cussed at her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?" The girl, crying, replied, Sniff, sniff...."Daddy. ...I became a prostitute..." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this gud Catholic family, so yer are." "OK, Daddy-- as ye wish. I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, title deeds to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million cheque. For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes, limited edition, convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club...... (she takes a breath)...... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Caribbean and... ." "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad. The Irish girl, crying again, Sniff, sniff...."A prostitute Daddy!" Sniff, sniff. "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a PROTESTANT. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug." Todd Holden

Happy St. Patrick's Day! A special Thank You goes out to members: Todd Holden, MA Anderson, also to The Scots Tongue, First Foot, The Scotsman, Scotland Magazine, First Foot, The Vatican Library, Who’s Who in Mythology, The American Catholic Encyclopedia and Wikipedia who contributed to this edition.

Anyone wishing to contribute an article, a joke or humorous anecdote or other contributions, news, suggestions for articles or genteel comments can send them to :

Cheers!