THE ENSIGN OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS • JUNE 2004

Teaching from the Heart, p. 6 Seeing beyond “Single,” p. 36 MAY NOT BE COPIED . : ‘I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; ds God, and towards all men’ ” (D&C 135:4). Here he bids farewell to his family ds God, and towards Going as a Lamb, by Liz Lemon Swindle but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense towar In June 1844 “when Joseph went to Carthage to deliver himself up . . . two or three days previous to his assassination, he said JUNE 2004 • VOLUME 34, NUMBER 6

2 FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE Inspirational Thoughts President Gordon B. Hinckley 6 Teaching from the Heart Elder Richard G. Scott and Elder Charles Didier 12 The Red Starfish Troy L. Love 14 BOOK OF MORMON PRINCIPLES He Knows Our Suffering Elder Flávio A. Cooper Be Ye 18 BOOK OF MORMON PRINCIPLES One A Change of Heart Elder Gerald A. Mead 56 Teaching from the Heart 22 From “Me” to “We” Randal Thatcher 6 25 Bringing Church Home Judy Kay W. Frome 28 Our Son’s Battle with Drugs Name Withheld 34 Julia and Emily: Sisters in Zion Debbie J. Christensen 36 Seeing beyond “Single” Chris Brough 40 Teaching Our Children to Accept Differences Gayle M. Clegg 45 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS How can I overcome feelings of From inadequacy as a new member? 22 “Me” to “We” 48 The Neighbors No One Wanted Marilynn Barnes 53 BOOK OF MORMON PRINCIPLES Obeying the Lord’s Spirit Elder Ross H. McEachran 56 Be Ye One Elder H. Aldridge Gillespie 61 VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE Feeling the Love of the Lord through Exercising Charity 62 Building a Lesson from Teachings of Presidents of the Church Jan Pinborough Seeing 67 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES 36 beyond “Single” 72 RANDOM SAMPLER 74 NEWS OF THE CHURCH

AN OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE CHURCH Sally J. Odekirk, Adam C. Olson, Judith M. Paller, P.O. Box 26368, Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368. OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS Rebecca M. Taylor, Roger Terry, Paul VanDenBerghe, TO CHANGE ADDRESS: Send both old and new address Monica Weeks THE FIRST PRESIDENCY: Gordon B. Hinckley, information to Distribution Services at the above address. Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust MANAGING ART DIRECTOR: M. M. Kawasaki Please allow 60 days for changes to take effect. ART DIRECTOR: J. Scott Knudsen SUBMIT MANUSCRIPTS OR ART TO: Ensign Editorial, Room 2420, QUORUM OF THE TWELVE: Boyd K. Packer, L. Tom Perry, 50 E. North Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3220, USA. David B. Haight, Neal A. Maxwell, Russell M. Nelson, DESIGN AND PRODUCTION STAFF: C. Kimball Bott, Thomas S. Unsolicited material is welcome, but no responsibility is Dallin H. Oaks, M. Russell Ballard, Joseph B. Wirthlin, Child, Colleen Hinckley, Tadd R. Peterson, Kari A. Todd assumed. For return, include self-addressed, stamped envelope. Richard G. Scott, Robert D. Hales, Jeffrey R. Holland, MARKETING MANAGER: Larry Hiller E-mail: [email protected] Ensign can be Henry B. Eyring PRINTING DIRECTOR: Craig K. Sedgwick found on the Internet at www.lds.org. Click on “Gospel Library.” EDITOR: Jay E. Jensen DISTRIBUTION DIRECTOR: Kris T Christensen Text and visual material in the Ensign may be copied for ADVISERS: E. Ray Bateman, Monte J. Brough, © 2004 BY INTELLECTUAL RESERVE, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. incidental, noncommercial church or home use. Visual Stephen A. West The Ensign (ISSN 0884-1136) is published monthly by material may not be copied if restrictions are indicated in the MANAGING DIRECTOR: David Frischknecht The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E. credit line with the artwork. Questions should be addressed PLANNING AND EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Victor D. Cave North Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3220, USA. to Church Copyrights and Permissions Office, 50 E. North GRAPHICS DIRECTOR: Allan R. Loyborg Periodicals Postage Paid at Salt Lake City, Utah, and at Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3011; telephone: additional mailing offices. 801-240-3959; e-mail: [email protected]. Obeying the MAGAZINES EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Richard M. Romney MANAGING EDITOR: Don L. Searle TO SUBSCRIBE: By phone, call 1-800-537-5971 to order POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Distribution Services, 53 Lord’s Spirit EDITORIAL STAFF: Collette Nebeker Aune, Susan Barrett, using Visa, MasterCard, Discover Card, or American P.O. Box 26368, Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368, USA. Linda Stahle Cooper, Marvin K. Gardner, LaRene Gaunt, Express. Online, go to ldscatalog.com. By mail, send CANADA POST INFORMATION: Publication Agreement Sara R. George, Jenifer L. Greenwood, Carrie Kasten, $10 U.S. check or money order to Distribution Services, #40017431 2 FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE Inspirational Thoughts

BY PRESIDENT GORDON B. HINCKLEY

A Marvelous and Wonderful Work we believe and leading them in the direc- “What a marvelous and wonderful work tion which we would like to see them go” [this] is . . . when you think of all the effort (regional conference, North Ogden, Utah, that goes into it and how much is expected 3 May 1998). of you. . . . This is the Church and kingdom of God. This is the work for which the Savior Miracle of Mormonism gave His life. We are serving with Him in the “What a wonderful thing we have in the great work of the Father to bring to pass the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to reform immortality and eternal life of mankind [see people’s lives, to make them better, to lift Moses 1:39]. How important it is and how their reach and look to the stars and make glorious it is to see what is happening, to something good of their lives. Miracles hap- This is the work for see it spread across the earth” (meeting, pen when people accept the gospel. We see which the Savior gave Worcester, Massachusetts, 23 Mar. 2002). people who are dragging along in their sloth- His life. We are serving ful ways. The gospel touches their lives, and with Him in the great The Only True Church they come alive. Something really wonderful work of the Father “The Lord said that this is the only true happens. I call it the miracle of Mormonism, to bring to pass the and living church upon the face of the earth this marvelous transformation that takes immortality and eternal with which He is well pleased [see D&C place in the lives of people” (meeting, life of mankind. 1:30]. I didn’t say that. Those are His words. Boston, Massachusetts, 16 Oct. 1998). The Prophet Joseph was told that the other sects were wrong [see Joseph Smith—History Church Is Moving Forward 1:19]. Those are not my words. Those are “The Church is moving forward. Never has the Lord’s words. But they are hard words there been a day in the history of this Church for those of other faiths. We don’t need to when the Church has moved forward with BY GARY L. KAPP, MAY NOT BE COPIED NOT MAY L. KAPP, GARY BY exploit them. We just need to be kind and greater vitality than today. How fortunate we good and gracious people to others, showing are to be a part of this great movement which

THE FIRST VISION, by our example the great truth of that which is going over the earth to change the lives of

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 3 ll of us need people, to make them wish to live better, to (Acts 3:19–21). These are the days of restitu- to stand up do better, to give them a knowledge of the tion. These are the days of restoration spo- A and declare plan of salvation, to bring to them recogni- ken of in the Holy Bible plainly and forcefully the truth. Walk tion of the meaning of the great Atonement by Peter the Apostle and by Paul. I repeat, you in faith and faith- of the Savior, to bless their lives wherever and I are a part of prophecy fulfilled, a part fulness. Do good. they may be found” (regional conference, of the divine plan of the God of heaven, that Help others and Houston, Texas, 19 Sept. 1998). there should be a falling away and that there bring glory to the must be a restoration” (meeting, Hamilton, great cause of the Bring Credit and Honor to the Church Ontario, Canada, 8 Aug. 1998). Lord Jesus Christ “Let everything that you do bring credit in these latter days. and honor to the Church, of which you are A Great and Marvelous Family a member, and the Lord will bless you and “You are part of a great and marvelous magnify you. Let there be no animosity family—more than 11 million strong and scat- among you but only love, regardless of tered throughout some 160 nations—who race, regardless of circumstances. Let us carry in your hearts a great and strong convic- love one another as the Lord would have tion of the reality of God our Eternal Father, us do” (meeting, Nadi, Fiji, 21 May 2001). of the reality of the Lord Jesus Christ, of the actuality of the Holy Ghost and its power to These Are the Days of Restoration influence you and affect you, of the fact that “‘Repent ye therefore,’ said Peter, ‘and be God has moved again in this dispensation to converted, that your sins may be blotted out, restore His work and bring to pass His eter- when the times of refreshing shall come from nal purposes in this, the dispensation of the the presence of the Lord; and he shall send fulness of times—this glorious and wonderful Jesus Christ, which before was preached period in the history of the earth when He unto you: whom the heaven must receive has gathered together all of the wonderful until the times of restitution of all things, things of all previous dispensations in this, which God hath spoken by the mouth the great and final and last dispensation— of all his holy prophets since the fulness of times” (meeting, New York, the world began’ New York, 24 Mar. 2002).

Influence of a Generation

“I am amazed at the quality of T BE COPIED leaders who are being developed. These are men and women of strength and capacity. They are quick learners. They are devoted and faithful. They NO MAY MODELS, , POSED BY have become better hus- bands and fathers and wives and mothers under the family-strengthening pro-

grams of the Church. They STEVE BUNDERSON BY PHOTOGRAPH are an asset to the society of which they are a part, as “To you women, you mothers, be good wives. Support will be the generations who come after them. That is your husbands. Treat them with kindness. . . . Help them the beauty of this work. When you touch the life of a in all that they do. Be good mothers to your children. . . . man of this generation, that influence is felt through Rear them in love. generations yet to come” (remarks to National Press “You children, look to your parents as your very best Club, Washington, D.C., 8 Mar. 2000). friends. Listen to what they say. Do what they ask, because that is what the Lord has asked of His people, that children Called to Serve be raised in light and truth and love” (meeting, Nouméa, “We are sort of garden-variety people whom the Lord New Caledonia, 17 June 2000). picks up, one here and one there and another over there, and makes a bishop or a stake president or a mission presi- Great Cause of the Lord dent or a temple president or whatever. The marvelous “This great cause of the Lord is growing in strength and and wonderful thing is that he rises to that responsibility power and capacity across the earth. You and I are a part of under the inspiration and power of the Lord” (meeting, it. You have as great a responsibility within the sphere of Richmond, Virginia, 14 Nov. 1998). your assignment as I have within the sphere of my assign- ment. None of us can afford to slacken. All of us need to Let Us Be Latter-day Saints stand up and declare the truth. Walk in faith and faithful- “Let us live the gospel, my brothers and sisters. Let us ness. Do good. Help others and bring glory to the great as husbands treat our wives with respect and honor and cause of the Lord Jesus Christ in these latter days” (fire- dignity. Let us as wives treat our husbands with love and side, Sydney, Australia, 14 May 1997). ■ concern and helpfulness. Let us as parents, as fathers and mothers, treat our children, who are sons and daughters IDEAS FOR HOME TEACHERS of God, with respect and love and helpfulness. And let us as children be obedient to our parents, following their After prayerful preparation, share this message using a counsel and seeking to walk after the ways which they method that encourages the participation of those you teach. point out to us. A few examples follow: “Let us be faithful in the payment of our tithes and 1. Read the paragraph “The Only True Church.” Discuss with offerings. The Lord has promised that those who pay family members some ways we can bear our testimonies of the their tithes shall not be burned [see D&C 64:23]. . . . truth without demeaning anyone else’s beliefs. You might want “Let us be more neighborly. Let us be kind. Let us be to consider reviewing “The Parable of Two Lamps,” by Elder gracious to those in our midst who are not of our faith. Let James E. Talmage (1862–1933) of the Quorum of the Twelve us be helpful and generous and good. Let us be Latter-day Apostles (see Liahona, Feb. 2003, 40; Ensign, Feb. 2003, 12). Saints in the full and complete meaning of that word” 2. Read the paragraph “Bring Credit and Honor to the (regional conference, Payson, Utah, 16 Sept. 2001). Church.” Ask family members to consider whether the way they live brings credit and honor to The Church of Jesus Christ

What Does the Lord Expect? of Latter-day Saints. Ask them to list some ways we can all “What does the Lord expect of Latter-day Saints? honor the Church. What does He expect us to do? He expects us to be good 3. Ask someone to read the last paragraph. Ask family people, to be good fathers who love their wives, who love members to discuss ways we all can fulfill our responsibility their children, who honor the priesthood, who stand a to move the work of the gospel forward. little taller and walk a little straighter in their lives—good and faithful and wonderful men. . . .

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 5 Teaching from theHeart How missionaries are learning to teach more effectively than ever— and how we can help: A conversation with two members of the Missionary Executive Council—Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and Elder Charles Didier of the Presidency of the Seventy.

There have been some changes of the first discussion. It makes the in the way missionaries teach story of Joseph Smith more under- investigators. Could you give an standable in the context of how overview of those changes? Father in Heaven reveals truth to Elder Richard G. Scott: There has His children through prophets. UKE, EXCEPT AS NOTED UKE, EXCEPT been a transition from presenting the Elder Charles Didier: We help gospel message by rote memorization people understand that Joseph to what has been defined as teaching Smith is not an anomaly in the his- by the Spirit. Missionaries are being taught to fill their tory of mankind. The Lord has repeatedly taught the

minds and hearts with the basic doctrine, with supporting plan of salvation through prophets. And mankind has JOHN L BY THER PHOTOGRAPHY scriptures, and with relevant experiences from their own also consistently rejected the prophets or gone astray lives. Those become resource material upon which they from the message. That’s why you have restorations. can call as they identify through the Spirit the need of a Joseph Smith was a foreordained prophet who restored— particular investigator family or individual. this time for the last time—the fulness of the gospel so As missionaries have begun to make these adjustments that we might know how to return to the presence of in their teaching, it is thrilling to see how they develop and our Heavenly Father. LEFT: PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DIMOND; O BY PHOTOGRAPH LEFT: how they study personally and as companionships. Now Have there been any other changes in how the gospel is their message is more understandable to those who are taught by the missionaries? honest in heart and want to understand. Elder Didier: The curriculum has not changed. The mis- Have there been changes in the lessons themselves? sionaries still have the same six discussions, which present Elder Scott: There has been some change in the content the gospel in a logical progression. We ask them to teach

6 s missionaries have begun to make these adjustments in their teaching, it is thrilling A to see how they develop and how they study personally and as companionships.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 7 OW RIGHT: PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVE BUNDERSON BY PHOTOGRAPH OW RIGHT: LEFT: PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DIMOND; BEL BY PHOTOGRAPH LEFT:

f I were a parent the doctrine that is found in the discussions. What are the implications of all this for today with They start the first discussion by teaching teaching and training missionaries? Ichildren in my the message of the Restoration. But when Elder Scott: The best place for that training home, I’d make sure prompted by the Spirit, they can teach the to occur is in the home. If I were a parent they understood the third discussion before the second or the today with children in my home, I’d make pattern that started fourth before the third. That doesn’t matter, sure they understood the pattern that started with Adam, where as long as they teach all the doctrine. with Adam, where a prophet is called of the a prophet is called Every investigator is different. So the mis- Lord, teaching the fulness of the gospel with of the Lord, teach- sionaries prepare outlines to plan how they authority. I’d teach them about the cycle of ing the fulness are going to teach an investigator according apostasy and of restoration of truth that has of the gospel with to his or her needs. The outline helps the continued until the final dispensation. I’d authority. I’d teach missionaries conceive the presentation in make sure they understood what happened them about the cycle their own minds. If the presentation is well through the Prophet Joseph Smith, how it of apostasy and of conceived, it is clear, and then the words was so very important that the Father and restoration. will come easily as missionaries teach by the Son personally came and taught Joseph the Spirit. Smith, and how he was called to be the Elder Scott: When missionaries do this con- prophet of the Restoration. sistently over a period of time, not only are That, taught in the home and understood, they going to be more effective missionaries, with ancillary help from priesthood and auxil- but they will eventually be better husbands iary classes and from seminary and institute, and wives, fathers and mothers, because the will prepare a missionary like nothing else. You reality of the magnificent message becomes don’t have to have special courses as long as a part of their very being. they understand the importance of living the

8 principles and teaching them. Missionaries who have paid MISSIONARY SERVICE tithing, for example, can bear witness of the promised bless- LIFEBLOOD OF THE CHURCH ings that the Lord gives for obedience. A missionary who “Missionary work is the lifeblood of the has lived a righteous life can bear powerful witness because Church. It is the principal means by which he has had spiritual experiences in his life. Such experiences it grows. It is because of this service that are conditioned upon worthiness and faith in the Savior. the Church has reached its present size in How has the formal training of missionaries changed? 172 years.” Elder Didier: In the Missionary Training Centers, mission- President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Missionary Service,” First Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, 11 Jan. 2003, 17. aries called to teach in their own language are being taught how to prepare a discussion outline, how to start teaching A FOURFOLD ENDEAVOR with their own words, and how to teach by the Spirit. For “Missionary work is more than two young men giving a those who have been called to teach in a foreign language, memorized presentation to investigators. It is more than bap- there’s a slightly different approach, because if you learn a tizing. It is a fourfold endeavor that concerns the missionaries, yes, and also ward members, bishops, the ward mission foreign language you need to memorize certain things. You leader, and the entire Church organization. This fourfold effort need the vocabulary, you need to memorize the grammar includes (1) finding investigators, (2) teaching by the Spirit, rules, and so on. They start to practice the language so that (3) baptizing worthy converts, and (4) strengthening new and when they arrive in the field they’ll be ready, in addition to less-active members.” that, to teach a discussion in their own words. Learning to President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Missionary Service,” First Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, 11 Jan. 2003, 18. teach the gospel in a new language does take more time. Elder Scott: In some ways it is a fundamental shift from what was being done before. The missionaries are learning the content of the discussions in their native language while they are learning to teach in an acquired language. That means that when they get to the mission field, a com- panion is much more important to help them in their con- tinued study of a language and to help them learn to teach the message they have learned. As they prepare themselves, what should potential missionaries focus on being or becoming? Elder Scott: Worthy—so that the Spirit can guide them. And they will have learned the basic message of the Restoration. They will have read the Book of Mormon to gain a witness of Jesus Christ and His Atonement and how significant He is in the life of each individual. And to the degree that they learn those things, they’re going to be further advanced than those who come to the Missionary Training Center just beginning to learn. In the Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting held on 11 January 2003, President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “We simply cannot permit those who have not qualified

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 9 MISSIONARY SERVICE themselves as to worthiness to go into the world to speak the glad tidings of the gospel.” Specifically, what do AN ATTITUDE OF NEIGHBORLINESS prospective missionaries need to know about worthiness “Let us cultivate within our people a constant awareness of opportunities to reach out to others. Let neighborliness, an to be prepared to serve? outreach with love toward others, become the attitude of our Elder Scott: They need to stay as far away from the people wherever they are across the entire world.” boundaries of sin as they can. That gives them the greatest

President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Missionary Service,” First happiness as they’re preparing. It assures them the great- Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, 11 Jan. 2003, 19. est capacity to be led by the Spirit and to be the examples A CALL TO THOSE WHO ARE WORTHY they need to be in the mission field. “Missionary work is not a rite of passage in the Church. It is Almost any young person can recite the “Rs” of repen- a call extended by the President of the Church to those who are tance or some other way of describing it. What they really worthy and able to accomplish it. . . . It demands that those who need to do, though, is understand the gravity with which serve as missionaries be worthy in every respect. . . . I am con- the Lord views some transgressions and not commit them. fident that raising the bar on eligibility will cause our young peo- Elder Didier: I wish we could teach the youth how to ple, particularly our young men, to practice self-discipline, to live above the low standards of the world, to avoid transgression avoid the need for major repentance. Prevention is better and take the high road in all their activities.” than redemption. We need to teach them to have a spirit

President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Missionary Service,” First of love for the Lord and His commandments. If they have Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, 11 Jan. 2003, 17. that, we don’t need to establish barriers where we tell them, “If you go over that, you cannot serve.” We’ve talked about what parents can do in the home to prepare our young men for missions—especially the need to teach fundamentals. Do you have additional suggestions? Elder Didier: The teen years are a time when parental influence begins to diminish and peers and trusted adults grow in influence. That’s why participation in the Aaronic Priesthood program is so important. Youth leaders can supplement the teachings and examples of parents, and the quorum can provide a positive peer influence. Elder Scott: Another wonderful preparation is for young men approaching missionary age to go out and have expe- riences with missionaries. They see how missionaries teach and testify. In particular, if they begin to do some testifying or teaching of truth, either with missionaries or in their own quorum meetings—more than standing in a testimony meeting and bearing that kind of testimony, but teaching gospel truths—they will feel the guidance of the Spirit. Elder Didier: There are so many different ways to do missionary work. Write a letter; share a Church video; give PHOTOGRAPH BY NATHAN CAMPBELL NATHAN BY PHOTOGRAPH pass-along cards to friends. Youth can fellowship or help in

10 the activation process. If the youth can start participating in missionary work now, then when they go into the mission field they will have so much the advantage because they have done it before. What results have you seen from the changes in how missionaries teach? Elder Scott: The world is getting worse, but our capacity to teach the gospel is improv- ing. President Hinckley has been so personally dedicated to increasing the number of truly converted individuals and retaining them. It’s exciting to see the missionaries catch that vision. We have missionaries for whom the gospel message is such a part of their very beings that at a corner bus stop they can give a one-and-a-half-minute overview, a five- minute overview. They are much better they’ve been in into a new environment. And nother equipped to begin with individuals at what- that’s probably where members can most eas- wonderful ever level they are on and to introduce them ily serve in missionary work. It’s not difficult A preparation to the magnificent message of the Restoration. for members who understand what the need is for young men Communicating truth is facilitated when there is and who seek guidance from the Lord to approaching isn’t a memorized dialogue. respond to it, whether it’s inviting new mem- missionary age to Now, what about all of us ordinary bers to their home or sitting next to them in go out and have members? How do we participate in sacrament meeting or helping them better experiences with the missionary effort? understand who we are and how we live. missionaries. They Elder Didier: Everyone can do something. Elder Didier: I’m here today first of all see how missionaries We don’t have to be involved in teaching per se. because a missionary became my friend. teach and testify. In If we have the desire and we pray about it, But missionaries were replaced all the time. particular, if they we can receive inspiration on how to help There comes a time when you would like to begin to do some prepare a child for a mission or how to share have a stable friend, and I had to look within testifying or teaching the Book of Mormon with a neighbor. We can the Church. of truth, they will share Church videos. Let’s each find the best Elder Scott: We could change our mind- feel the guidance of way according to our best possibilities. sets from “missionary work is something I the Spirit. Elder Scott: Members can participate in have to do” to “missionary work is something the conversion process by finding investiga- I get to do.” Once you begin, it’s exciting. It’s tors, by being there as friends during the con- stimulating. It’s not a burden; it’s a thrilling version process, and by bearing testimony at experience. ■ critical points. But after baptism, converts This interview was conducted by Larry Hiller and need strength to move from the world Adam C. Olson of the Church magazines staff.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 11 BY TROY L. LOVE n 1994 I was serving as a missionary among the Hmong heart felt as heavy as the gray sky above me, and I cried people in the California Roseville Mission. The work silently, “What am I doing wrong?” Iamong the Hmong people in Eureka was new, and my I began to share with my Father in Heaven the disap- companion and I had only one family in our teaching pool. pointments of the last few months. I felt my heart sinking No one else seemed interested. further with every sentence. I gazed at the ocean waves, This family had already had all six discussions twice, then bowed my head. but they were unwilling to make commitments regarding As I looked down I noticed jagged black boulders near church attendance, prayer, and baptism. Since the Book of the bottom of the rock formation. The waves slammed Mormon was not yet available in Hmong, it was difficult for against these rocks, swirled around with frigid bubbles, the family to grasp its teachings. I felt very discouraged and and then hurried back out to sea. As I watched, fascinated, powerless to make anything happen. my eyes spotted a small red starfish hanging onto one of One afternoon the stake had a celebration near the the rocks. Even though the cold water crashed against it coast. I had invited the family we were teaching to come, with salty severity, the little starfish did not move. hoping that some fellowshipping might help. I waited and Then I felt the Spirit whisper, “I love you. Be of good waited. Finally the children arrived, but no parents. I be- cheer. Be like the starfish and just hold on. I will take care came increasingly discouraged during the celebration, for of everything.” At last I felt hope. I knew the Lord loved I knew if the work remained stagnant, missionary work me, my companion, and the family we were working so among the Hmong people in Eureka might soon be closed. hard to teach. I understood that He has a plan and that I My companion and some of the other missionaries needed to exercise faith in Him. wanted to see the ocean after the activity, so I joined them. We did not give up on the family. We continued to love We stopped at a gigantic rock formation overlooking the them and teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ. We prayed sea. The sun was blocked behind darkening clouds. My with them and for them. And about a month later, they THETHE REDRED STST RFISHRFISH ILLUSTRATED BY CARY HENRIE CARY BY ILLUSTRATED

12 agreed to be baptized. There was no gray in COPY , DO NOT the day that my companion and I watched the first Hmong family in Eureka enter the waters of baptism. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has taught: “I

know some of you do truly feel at sea, in the FINE ARTS ALTUS SIMON DEWEY, BY most frightening sense of that term. . . . It is not without a recognition of life’s tempests but fully and directly because of them that I testify of God’s love and the Savior’s power DETAIL FROM PEACE BE STILL, DETAIL to calm the storm. . . . Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But . . . He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe!”1 I realized that day at the beach that despair is not from heaven. Whenever in putting my trust in the Lord. If we hold on, lder Jeffrey R. I think about that red starfish holding on we will find peace. ■ Holland has under difficult circumstances, I feel my load Troy L. Love is a member of the Yuma Fourth Ward, taught, “It Yuma Arizona Stake. E lighten—not because the pressures of life are NOTE is not without a 1. “An High Priest of Good Things to Come,” Ensign, alleviated, but because I know there is power Nov. 1999, 36–37. recognition of life’s tempests but fully and directly because of them that I testify of God’s love and the Savior’s power to calm the storm.”

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 13 14 BOOK OF MORMON

PRINCIPLES He Knows Our Suffering

Alma bore strong testimony of only way to reform the people was to the Savior’s compassion and teach the gospel and bear a pure and understanding of our earthly vigorous testimony of Jesus Christ (see tribulations. Alma 4:16–20). A portion of Alma’s eloquent testimony of the Savior is summarized in Alma 7:10–13. BY ELDER FLÁVIO A. COOPER First, Alma teaches that the Savior would Area Authority Seventy Brazil South Area have a miraculous birth in the flesh as the Son of God, explaining that He would suffer hen I was a new member of the “pains and afflictions and temptations of Church, I heard the comment, every kind” in fulfillment of prophecy (v. 11). W“Nobody can read the book of Second, the Lord would take upon Himself Without a doubt, Alma without coming to know the Book physical death, that He might “loose the bands we learn more and of Mormon is true!” This statement awoke of death which bind his people” (v. 12). And develop ourselves my curiosity. It made me wonder: Who was third, the Savior would take upon Himself the more as we are guided Alma? When did he live? What did he teach? sins of His people, “that he might blot out by the Lord through Named after his father, also a prophet, their transgressions according to the power the problems, Alma was rebellious in his youth. But in of his deliverance” (v. 13). challenges, and response to divine correction (see Mosiah opportunities we face. 27:8–32), Alma the Younger mended his He Understands Our Trials and Suffering ways and became a great force for good. His Alma’s prophetic testimony of the Lord’s conversion and continued diligence in ser- life and His Atonement and Resurrection— ving the Lord prepared him for the call to a testimony sealed with a prophetic blessing preside over the Church in his time. He was (see Alma 7:25–26)—was given about 83 years also the chief judge to his people, a respon- before our Savior’s birth. Central to Alma’s

PAINTING BY GARY L. KAPP GARY BY PAINTING sibility he resigned when he realized the message is the fact that by Christ’s suffering

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 15 AR RIGHT: PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DIMOND BY PHOTOGRAPH AR RIGHT: afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (D&C 121:7–8). He continues: “All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way, . . . for God shall be with you forever and BY TED HENNINGER; F BY STILLING THE STORM, RIGHT: ever” (D&C 122:7–9). As we seek Him, the Lord, in the greatness of His love, teaches and counsels us, showing His care for us even in our afflictions.

He Succors Us in Our Afflictions The Savior can respond to our requests for help in several ways, including (a) relieving or lightening our burdens, (b) increasing our strength to carry our burdens, (c) allowing increased burdens to give us needed experi- ence, and (d) not providing immediate help in order to test and strengthen our faith and he disciples and death in the flesh He would be filled with to teach us. “marvelled, mercy, “that he may know according to the The scriptures are replete with examples T saying, What flesh how to succor his people” (Alma 7:12). of the Lord lifting the burdens of His people manner of man is The Savior’s experiences were such that there (see, for example, Alma 36:16–23; 3 Nephi this, that even the is not a single trace of our problems or afflic- 17:7). And beyond the scriptural accounts winds and the sea tions that He does not know deeply. He who are innumerable experiences in the lives of obey him!” He is the was so misunderstood and despised, who His followers in many eras that demonstrate Christ, the Son of suffered both physically and spiritually the real fulfillment of the Savior’s promise: God, the Creator of (see Mosiah 3:7; D&C 19:18–19), who was “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavens and earth— tempted by the adversary to forsake His mis- heavy laden, and I will give you rest” He who calms the sion (see Matthew 4:1–11), nevertheless (Matthew 11:28). storms in our lives. remained blameless and without sin (see Sometimes our burdens are not removed, Hebrews 4:15). but our strength to carry them is increased. Thus the Lord knows deeply of our human One example is the story of Limhi and his afflictions; He is able to understand them and people. The Lamanites “put heavy burdens to be compassionate whenever we are involved upon their backs,” oppressing them (see in difficult situations, having perfect empathy. Mosiah 21:3). The people of Limhi humbled Through the Prophet Joseph Smith, the themselves and prayed that God “would Lord promises that “thine adversity and thine deliver them out of their afflictions” (v. 14).

16 Heavenly Father heard “their cries, and began to soften Without a doubt, we learn more and develop ourselves the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their more as we are guided by the Lord through the problems, burdens; yet the Lord did not see fit to deliver them out challenges, and opportunities we face (see 1 Nephi 1:1), of bondage” (v. 15; emphasis added). Just a few chapters including our callings in the Church. later in Mosiah, similar help came to another group when President John Taylor (1808–87) said that afflictions “the burdens which were laid upon Alma shouldn’t overwhelm us, but we should and his brethren were made light; yea, the rejoice in our challenges, for we need these Lord did strengthen them that they could experiences for our eternal well-being with bear up their burdens with ease, and they God.1 did submit cheerfully and with patience Our living prophet, President Gordon B. to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15). Hinckley, said that regardless of the tribula- Many times our brothers and sisters in the tions that come to many and in various gospel offer talents, counsel, resources, forms, “ours is the duty to walk by faith, ris- time, care, or priesthood blessings to help As we seek Him, the Lord, ing above the evils and trials of the world.”2 us bear our burdens, “that they may be in the greatness of His light” (Mosiah 18:8). love, teaches and He Will Not Forsake Us Sometimes our burdens even increase to counsels us, showing If the Lord does not remove our afflictions give us needed experience. I remember an His care for us even when we want, it may be for our good and to occasion when I was a bishop. There were in our afflictions. fulfill His purposes, though we may not always several members in the ward going through understand why at the moment. Such times some dire problems; I felt a heavy responsibility on my can be a test of faith or even a learning experience. Divine shoulders. One night I poured out my soul to the Lord, comfort, support, or deliverance may well come later. A supplicating Him to take from my shoulders the burden scriptural example is the Savior’s intentional delay in going that weighed so heavily on me. to Bethany to help Lazarus (see John 11:4, 6, 21–44). It was a special prayer. He heard and answered it. A few Another example of delayed deliverance occurred on the weeks later I was released as bishop and called to preside Sea of Galilee, when the Lord did not immediately calm the over a large stake. storm. Even as gusting winds and waves tossed and covered Elder Helio da Rocha Camargo, a former member of the the boat to the point that His disciples believed they would Seventy, once told of a ward clerk who sincerely prayed that perish, the Master slept (see Matthew 8:23–26). Then in a he would be able to learn what he needed to know to fulfill majestic exercise of divine power, the Lord controlled the his calling. At the time, all statistical and financial records elements, subdued the storm, and brought calm. The dis- were kept manually, without the help of a computer. That ciples “marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that month, it seemed every possible problem occurred for this even the winds and the sea obey him!” (v. 27). ward clerk: bank statements did not reconcile, records con- I testify that He will not forsake us. He is the Christ, tained incorrect dates, and so on. These problems brought the Son of God, the Creator of heavens and earth. He extra and overwhelming work. That clerk went to Heavenly who calms the storms in our lives knows how to succor Father in prayer and said, “Father, I asked Thee to help me His people. ■ learn to be a clerk, and then all sorts of problems happened with the records.” The response came quickly to his mind: NOTES 1. See Teachings of Presidents of the Church: John Taylor (2001), 207. “And didn’t I help you?” 2. Stand a Little Taller (2001), 164.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 17 BOOK OF MORMON

PRINCIPLES AChange of Heart BY ELDER GERALD A. MEAD Area Authority Seventy Idaho Area

ecause of the Fall, each of us is sepa- love? Do we still feel the joy and the love and rated from the presence of God (see the desire to do good and to be good that we BHelaman 14:16). Without God’s influ- felt when we first experienced a change in ence in our lives, we are, by nature, disposed heart? Do we feel clean and redeemed? If we to do evil. We find ourselves an enemy to our still have these feelings, how do we retain them? own Creator (see Mosiah 3:19), in a state that If we do not now have these feelings, how can Conversion is not is contrary to His nature and to our own hap- we once again experience them in our lives? a one-time event piness. To escape this condition, it is neces- but rather a lifelong sary for each of us to undergo the process An Early Witness process that ultimately of conversion. We must come to know the As a young teenager I came to know for changes our very love of Jesus Christ and the reality of His myself in a wonderful way that God lives and nature. Atonement, receive a remission of our sins, that He loves me. I was blessed with a powerful and experience a change of heart. witness of these truths. From the time that I While some may initially experience con- received this knowledge and witness, my life version as a single, life-changing event, all of took on a different meaning and purpose. I had us will find that changing our hearts is a life- a great desire to serve God. I began to pray that long process. Thus we see the significance of I could become a Methodist minister so that the great question that Alma asked the mem- I might serve Him in a more meaningful way. bers of the Church in Zarahemla: “If ye have Much good came into my life and my outlook experienced a change of heart, and if ye have brightened. At the same time, an intense felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I struggle began within me to find and walk would ask, can ye feel so now?” (Alma 5:26). the path that He would have me walk. Do we feel to sing the song of redeeming Even though I grew up in a community

18 t was not until I

TEN, POSED BY MODELS POSED BY TEN, was baptized Iand received the gift of the Holy Ghost that I really began to notice a

PHOTOGRAPH BY ELDON LINSCHO BY PHOTOGRAPH change of heart.

that consisted predominantly of wonderful gospel had been restored to the earth Latter-day Saints, and even though I attended through him. Primary regularly and other Church meetings from time to time, I resisted the truths and Becoming a Different Person the doctrine of the restored Church. How- Even though I knew then that God lives ever, as a skeptical 15-year-old boy, I found and that His church and priesthood had myself visiting Nauvoo, Carthage, and Pal- been restored to the earth through the myra in company with my LDS friends en Prophet Joseph Smith, it was not until I was route to the National Boy Scout Jamboree. baptized and received the gift of the Holy In the process of visiting these sacred places, Ghost that I really began to notice a change I came to know, in the same powerful way I of heart. I began to experience, in a greater had learned God lives, that Joseph Smith was way, changes in my life, my attitude, and even a prophet of God and that the fulness of the in my disposition.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 19 His goodness, long-suffering, mercy, and wisdom, and of my own nothingness before Him. I realize that I fall short of who I could become. In these moments of realization, I feel the conviction of guilt and the shame that comes with knowing I could be better. I am compelled to call on Him for mercy and forgiveness and guidance.

My Reality Check , POSED BY MODEL , POSED BY I had an experience to illustrate this process while serving as a stake president. I had a very busy schedule one particular day that included some important meetings and interviews in the evening that I knew required PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DIMOND BY PHOTOGRAPH the Lord’s Spirit and guidance. However, early hrough I know that I am a substantially different in the day, my plans for preparation fell apart prayerful person than I would have been if I had not as I had to go to several places of business Tsupplication, gone through this process. I hardly dare to to have something fixed or clarified that was studying, and think of what or who I might have become totally unrelated to my plans for the day. The pondering, I have without that change of heart. distraction was frustrating, and, in my opin- come to know the And what about now? Am I the person ion, entirely unnecessary. Why couldn’t peo- goodness, long- I need to be in order to enter into Father’s ple do their jobs properly and live up to their suffering, and mercy presence and inherit all that He has? Have commitments? Why couldn’t they do things of the Lord. I become the manner of man that He is? I right the first time? realize that there is much left to do and that As I went from business to business, my I must yet become a better person. impatience began to grow until it nearly con- “And if men come unto me,” the Savior sumed me. I was angry and frustrated and in said, “I will show unto them their weakness. a state of high anxiety, all of which was of my I give unto men weakness that they may be own doing. I do not know whether or not humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men those with whom I had interacted knew of that humble themselves before me; for if they my state of mind, but I certainly had negative humble themselves before me, and have faith feelings toward them. Things got worse, and in me, then will I make weak things become I had to go back for repeat visits to some of strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). the businesses to get things straightened out. I know I must make a great effort to con- Before I was finished, I fully felt the tribula- tinue to come unto Him. Through humility, tion of being in the world. desire, prayerful supplication, studying, The Savior said, “In me ye might have pondering, and likening the scriptures unto peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: myself, I come to know, over and over, of but be of good cheer; I have overcome the

20 world” (John 16:33). But by my own doing, I had put the Savior and all good things far, far away. There seemed to be no way to access Him or that promised peace. I was lost and helpless. I began to call upon Heavenly Father. I pled for His Spirit to be with me. After all, He knew of my assignments for the evening, and He knew of my desire to perform my duties “in the meekness of [His] Spirit” (D&C 19:23). Still I felt no relief. I was devastated. I needed His Spirit to guide me. I was hungry for the peace and calm and assurance that come from being in His presence. As the time approached to go to the stake center and to do the things that my calling required, I was pleading for His grace and mercy and forgiveness. Nothing changed. I was suffering even to the extent of feeling an almost physical pain. I con- My heart was softened, and my feelings changed for all of tinued to plead and pressed forward toward my meetings, those with whom I had interacted. I made several trips into not knowing what else to do. As I entered the stake center, those same businesses to make amends and to bless and to I paused and heard a voice in my heart and in my mind: lift their lives. “President, you ask me for grace and mercy. You could have been gracious.” the best of our ability and be obedient to the command- ments and to the promptings we receive. We must always Reconciliation remember Him and keep Him in our remembrance as we Oh, how ashamed I was. I viewed myself in my “own covenant to do during the sacrament. If we have made carnal state” (Mosiah 4:2), and I knew I could have and temple covenants, we must live up to them. We must should have done better. I pled for forgiveness and made accept the Savior’s invitation: “Learn of me, and listen to resolution to be better and to bless the lives of those my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall whom I had recently treated so contemptuously. I cannot have peace in me” (D&C 19:23.) ■ express the joy I felt when the Spirit of the Lord finally came upon me and I received peace of conscience. My feelings changed for all of those with whom I had interacted. I saw them as wonderful people only trying to do their jobs and to please me the best they could. HELPS FOR HOME EVENING I saw them differently and felt differently because my heart 1. Read together the scriptures mentioned in this article. had been softened and changed. Subsequent days bore Discuss how each verse relates to experiencing our own out this change of heart. I made several trips into those change of heart. same businesses to make amends and to bless and to lift 2. Invite family members to describe Elder Mead’s lifelong their lives. I came to love those whom I had once held process of experiencing a change of heart. Discuss how his contemptible. experiences are similar to or different from those of family To always retain a remission of our sins, we must come members. Bear testimony of the Savior’s grace and mercy. unto Christ as He invites. We must keep ourselves clean to

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 21 BY RANDAL THATCHER

The more you give of yourself in thought- region, he wanted a chance to meet her and to speak with ful, selfless deeds, the more you get back us together as a couple. in love, tenderness, and happiness. After congratulating us and complimenting me on my excellent judgment, he struck a serious tone. He asked us uring our six-month engagement, my wife and I whether we thought couples who ended up divorced were received marital advice from just about every mar- as much in love during their engagements as we were at Dried person we collectively knew, which, when that moment (and we were feeling very much in love to be considered in total, amounted to a good deal of counsel. sure). We both supposed that they probably were. He then But now, 20 years later, I can recall only one small gem of asked us what we thought could possibly have gone so wisdom given us by one individual. wrong in a relationship that began It is the same bit of advice that ENEMY OF A GOOD HOME with as much love as we two shared I now pass along to friends and “The enemies of a good at that moment. His point was not relatives who become engaged to home are many. lost on us: No one ever expects to wed (with the silent hope it won’t Selfishness is the first. get divorced when they’re blissfully get lost amid all the other advice Out of selfishness come engaged or newly married. And yet, they’re sure to receive). quarrels, misunderstand- it happens. We both sensed there My stake president had ings, and often divorce.” was also a deeper, more personal, requested a meeting with Elder Mark E. Petersen (1900–1984) of the even somewhat ominous signal Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, The Way to my fiancée and me. Since my Peace, 1969, 68. in his observation: It could happen bride-to-be was from another even to us!

22 PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DIMOND BY PHOTOGRAPH Here was a prospect that neither of us had themselves and their wants and desires above e were ever contemplated before. It’s doubtful that those of their spouse. While the resulting challenged many engaged couples ever ponder the pos- symptoms may become much more compli- Wto look sibility of their own divorce, even though a cated, the underlying disease is the same: for opportunities disturbingly high number do eventually end plain old selfishness. President Gordon B. to serve each other, up divorcing. I think he must have noticed Hinckley seemed to support this premise to do little chores our concerned glances at one another, when he taught some years ago, “Selfishness around the house, because the next thing he said to us was is the cause of most of the domestic problems and to think up ways reassuring and profound in its simplicity. that afflict so many homes of our nation.”1 to surprise and He suggested that virtually every divorce My stake president then gave us the anti- delight one another. is the result of just one single, solitary thing: dote against this insidious, love-killing cancer selfishness. Either one or both of them place with a single word: selflessness.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 23 He challenged us both to look for oppor- tunities to serve the other, to do little chores around the house, and to think up ways to surprise and delight one another. And he promised us that if we would both do this faithfully and without ever keeping tally of lease what each had done for the other, not only remember would we never divorce but we would live Pthis quite happily ever after. What a promise! thoughtlessly pouring the last of the milk one little gem For 20 years now we’ve been field- into my own bowl of cereal, contribute to of wisdom: testing this sage counsel from a wise stake these down times. selflessness president, and I am pleased to report that Thankfully, however, when I begin to look is key to so far, his promise is golden. for any opportunity to do some kind thing happiness In the interest of complete disclosure, for my wife—like decorating our front door in marriage. I must admit that we’ve had the same ups with a Welcome Home message when she’s and downs that most married couples have. been away, or calling our home answering But during the down times, if I stop to check machine and leaving a funny recording to myself against the challenge we were given, make her laugh—it never takes long to I can always recognize where I’ve been self- correct the slide and raise our happiness ish. Even seemingly small things, like leaving quotient significantly. the house without a good-bye squeeze or It’s a simple little one-to-one correlation: the more you give of yourself in thoughtful, selfless deeds, the more you get back in love, tenderness, and happiness. The best part is that it really works. It works in any relation- ship but seems particularly well adapted to marriage partners. And so to anyone who is now married or who plans to be married someday, amid the copious and varied advice that you receive, please remember this one little gem of wisdom: selflessness is key to happiness in marriage. And if you accept the challenge of selflessness, fulfillment of its promise will follow. ■ Randal Thatcher is a member of the Seattle First Ward, Seattle Washington North Stake.

NOTE 1. Without Sacrifice There Is No True Worship, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year (17 Oct. 1962), 5.

24 MONDAYBringing Church HOME

BY JUDY KAY W. FROME temples are part of the decor. These any years ago, I heard President things were all part of the gradual trans- Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of formation of my husband’s attitude toward Mthe Twelve Apostles say to sisters the Church from openly hostile to sincerely like me whose husbands did not attend Before my husband trying to gain his own testimony. church, “If your husband doesn’t feel at returned to full I started out slowly. When we had just two home going to church, then do everything activity in the Church, tiny tots, family home evening was not a you can to make him feel at church while family home evenings structured occurrence; it was more of an he’s at home.”1 This was a terrific concept to helped him feel the ongoing idea. The children and I included me, and it was my guiding theme for many spirit of the gospel. scripture stories each night at bedtime, sang years before my husband returned to full Primary songs every day, practiced folding activity in the Church. our arms to pray for meals, and learned to One of the ways I thought I could help my recognize pictures of the General Authorities. husband feel at church was through family With three children, we began to hold an MODELS , POSED BY home evening. But I believe family home actual event called family home evening. It evening doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It is lasted about 20 minutes and featured songs, likely to be most successful in a home where prayers, a short lesson, and treats. My hus- prayers are said before meals, the scriptures band, Kelly, joined us sometimes. On one are read, and pictures of the Savior and the memorable occasion as we sang “Jesus PHOTOGRAPHY BY WELDEN C. ANDERSEN BY PHOTOGRAPHY ENSIGN JUNE 2004 25 MONDAY

had which job. Each family member, including Kelly, had a specific assignment every Monday night. Then I rotated the names and responsibilities each week. When Dad had the lesson but wasn’t there, we read a story or just talked. Someone substituted when he wasn’t there to give a prayer or lead the music. 2. I invited my husband to join us every week. I didn’t leave it unspoken. I would I invited my husband Wants Me for a Sunbeam,” mention it in the morning before he left for to join us every week. three-year-old Josh suddenly work and then remind the whole family at I didn’t leave it stopped in midverse and asked his dinner. Then I’d say privately to him that I unspoken. Several father in astonishment, “How come you hoped he’d join us. I tried hard to be friendly times over the know this song?” and neutral with my weekly invitations. years when it “Well, I used to go to Sunbeams at church 3. It was OK that we didn’t always have a was his turn for too,” he said, smiling. “Well, why don’t you doctrinal lesson. Several times over the years the lesson, he’d go now?” Josh replied in a puzzled tone. when it was Kelly’s turn for the lesson, he’d talk about fire safety, There followed an awkward silence. talk about fire safety, and we’d practice a fire and we’d practice But we continued to hold family home drill. Sometimes we would even set off the a fire drill. evening. Many nights Kelly would go over to smoke alarm so everyone would know how the neighbors’ house or find something else it sounds. Other times he focused on to do. We held family night anyway—not in a Scouting requirements or held discussions defiant way and not to be divisive; we simply on specific topics like drug and alcohol enjoyed it. He had his own reasons for not abuse or stranger safety. wanting to participate, and he didn’t want to 4. Many family home evening nights in- spoil it for us. volved playing board games, going for a bike There were several key things I did to help ride or a walk around a park, or looking at make family home evenings successful, and Christmas lights and singing carols. I know that meant trying to involve my husband: we are urged to have a gospel lesson, but our 1. I made a chart for keeping track of who family dynamics at the time often precluded

26 that. Just being together as a family was a home evening and diligently striving to Our family nights testimony-building experience. Family night include every member of the family, even showed my husband helped show us all that we didn’t have to live those who might be hostile to the gospel that even though on a separate track from Dad. or disinterested. By bringing the family to- he had chosen to opt 5. Above all, I recognized my husband as gether to play games, go for walks, or just out of the lifestyle the head of our family. I always asked him to talk, we have been blessed. In my husband’s of the other family join in and lead family home evening. I didn’t case, our family nights showed him that members, he hadn’t hesitate to get everything set up and have even though he had chosen to opt out of opted out of AY everyone gather in the living room. But then the lifestyle of the other family members, the family. I would turn the time over to Kelly, literally he hadn’t opted out of the family. In my and figuratively. case, I found that my family, my marriage, 6. And finally, I never gave up on family and my own heart were strengthened. ■ TUESD home evening. There were many spectacular Judy Kay W. Frome is a member of the Patuxent Ward, Suitland Maryland Stake. failures—with surly teenagers, nine-year- NOTE olds who just had to tease, and restless tod- 1. “Begin Where You Are—At Home,” Ensign, Feb. 1972, 71. dlers. Sometimes it seemed like there was a quarrel between Kelly and me every Monday night. Satan was doing his best to keep any spirituality from entering our home. He didn’t want my husband to get used to feeling the Spirit and be- MONDAY come comfortable with the gospel. Through those difficult years, I learned that blessings result from following the counsel to hold family

SUNDAY

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 27 Our Son’s BATTLE with Drugs

My wife and I learned that it was imperative to follow the promptings of the Spirit in order to help our son. NAME WITHHELD

rom the earliest days of our marriage, my wife, changes in our third son, Marcus. One morning I received Paula (names have been changed), and I were a phone call at work from Marcus’s seminary teacher. He Fstaunchly committed to strengthening and protect- shared with me a conversation overheard in his seminary ing our family. Individual and family prayer and scripture class indicating that Marcus was using drugs regularly. study, attendance at meetings, Sabbath day observance, Suddenly the fractured puzzle Marcus had become fell into family home evening—all of these we resolved to do, con- place. Convinced that this teacher was inspired to call me, fident that if we did our part spiritually, our children would I felt prompted to leave work immediately and drive to the never stray. high school, where I had Marcus called from class. I didn’t

The Lord blessed us, and we saw the prophetic wisdom explain why I was there. We simply went to my car and Y MODELS in adhering to the Lord’s counsel. It appeared as though drove to a secluded spot. family life would be a relatively smooth journey for us. Our two eldest sons accepted calls to serve full-time mis- Facing Hard Facts sions, and our other children anticipated the time when At first Marcus denied everything. Then, after some they too could serve. However, several months into our simple but calm probing, he opened up and revealed the

second son’s mission, Paula and I noticed some disturbing culture into which he had immersed himself over the past POSED B JOHN LUKE; BY PHOTOGRAPHY

28 few months. As I fought to remain calm, my mind and with the staggering realization that this kind of tragedy emotions reeled. Marcus was a brilliant student with a could happen in any family—even ours! keen mind and tremendous ability. He was athletic and We were determined to do anything to help Marcus, but kept himself in top form. I asked him how he could do this we soon realized this was going to be a long, torturous to himself after the meticulous care he had taken to stay process. We contemplated rehabilitation. We thought of healthy and strong. He admitted he hadn’t meant to go so moving, of sending Marcus to relatives, anything to get far, then casually remarked, “But, Dad, it feels so good. You him away from his new friends and the influences destroy- and Mom wouldn’t understand.” He shrugged and added ing him. After considering all the possibilities, we ruefully with a strange smile, “I’m high right now.” realized that no amount of effort on our part would be Heartbroken and discouraged, Paula and I talked late successful until Marcus was committed to changing. Sadly, that first night, trying to comprehend this unexpected hor- his lack of commitment was painfully apparent. ror. Naturally, we asked ourselves the proverbial “why?” Over the next months we witnessed the insidious, sa- That was the first time in my life that I came face to face tanic control that drug abuse has over those who fall into

Heartbroken and discouraged, Paula and I talked late that first night, trying to comprehend this unexpected horror. Naturally, we asked ourselves the proverbial “why?”

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 29 The Spirit was undeniably clear. Finally there was only one remaining item, the very first one, the one I had almost discarded before writing it down: love him and let him feel the influence of home.

its malevolent clutches. More horrifying even than what Marcus and explained to him as lovingly and calmly as we drugs do to the physical body was what drugs do to the could (and sometimes not so calmly) that he was an adult mind, to the spirit, to the personal will to rise above evil and had his agency, but he had to choose between the life and strive for good. The prophet Nephi seems to have he was leading and life in our home. He let it be known understood this condition when he wrote of Satan’s influ- that if we wanted to “kick him out,” he would leave, but ence, “Thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth he insisted that the decision be ours, not his. It was one them away carefully down to hell . . . until he grasps them more example of Marcus shirking his responsibility. with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliver- ance” (2 Nephi 28:21–22). Marcus lost all desire for self- Developing a Plan of Action improvement, and his sense of conscience was blurred One Sunday afternoon, after a considerable amount of past feeling. prayer and reflection, I sat down to make a list of things Paula and I had always maintained home rules and as- that Paula and I should do in order to deal with Marcus. signed chores and family responsibilities. At first Marcus The first thing that came to my mind was “Love him and made a semblance of conformity, but one by one the fam- let him experience the positive influences of home.” That ily rules were blatantly broken. Curfews were ignored. He idea was so basic, so obvious, that I was inclined to discard refused to do household chores. Coming in late, he didn’t it as not being practical. In my mind, merely loving Marcus get to bed until the early hours of the morning, and then didn’t address our dilemma. In my impatience to solve his he slept his daytime hours away. problems quickly, I wanted to get to the other things I be- There were many times that Paula and I sat down with lieved would be more effective. Reluctantly, I did write

30 down that first idea; then I proceeded to make a list times, arguing that we needed to ask Marcus to leave of 20 or 25 actions I felt were much more significant. home if he was not willing to change his lifestyle. Each My list was loaded with wise parenting practices, things time, Paula asked me whether I thought the Spirit had like insisting that Marcus accept responsibility for house- rescinded the earlier impression. I had to admit that hold chores, home rules, and specific consequences for the impression had not been repealed. his behavior. My list also included a warning to Paula and Marcus went from paycheck to paycheck, spending me not to facilitate Marcus’s inappropriate most of his earnings on drugs. behavior by ignoring his violation of rules. Then one day he asked Paula to I believed that Marcus needed to be save a portion of each check for treated just like the other members of the him. He knew if he kept his money, family. And if he refused to abide by our he would waste it. He also gave family rules of conduct, then we Paula his tithing and asked her to would fairly, but firmly, ask him pay it. We saw this inclination as a to leave our home. ray of hope. After finishing my list, I went Then our hopes were dashed back and evaluated each item, when Marcus didn’t return home eliminating some so as to one night. The following night he leave only the most helpful came in late, obviously under the and effective ideas. Strangely, influence of something. He de- the elimination process progressed manded his money. We pleaded further than I had anticipated as with him, but he was insistent. the Spirit moved me. Finally there Over the next few days Paula gave was only one remaining item, the him part of his money. very first one, the one I had almost One day Marcus asked Paula to save a discarded before writing it down: portion of each check for him. He knew if he Feeling a Sense of Hopelessness love him and let him feel the influ- kept his money, he would waste it. He also In a drug-induced tailspin, ence of home. The Spirit was unde- gave Paula his tithing and asked her to pay it. Marcus left home for several days, niably clear. We couldn’t influence We saw this inclination as a ray of hope. and we didn’t know where he was. Marcus for good unless he was in One Sunday, while at church, I felt our home. impressed to return home. Arriving home, I found Marcus I shared this frustrating experience with Paula. She had searching the house for the remainder of his money. He received the same answer that we should love Marcus wasn’t expecting me and was embarrassed and irritated with all our hearts, keep him as close to us as we could, when I discovered him. He demanded his money. I and expose him to positive family influences. pointed out to him that he had made the arrangement Although we know that other people with similar chal- with his mother and the implied agreement was that he lenges receive equally strong answers to prayer through would use that money for something worthwhile, not for doctors, counselors, and rehabilitation programs, we felt drugs. He denied wanting it for drugs but insisted he certain that the Spirit had guided my wife and me to the could use the money however he chose. right answer for us at that time. Although he became angry and tried to bait me, I However, conditions worsened. I went to Paula several remained calm. Over the months I had gradually learned

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 31 not to become angry as I spoke with Marcus. On this and across our front lawn, I called after him, “Marcus, I particular Sunday, I was more calm than usual, and we love you.” Although my words didn’t cause a noticeable had a good talk. change in Marcus, I knew I had finally accepted the answer Not wanting to be home when the rest of the family ar- the Spirit had whispered to me months earlier. rived, Marcus prepared to leave, indicating that he would When Paula returned from church, I explained all that get his money from Paula later that day. I felt impressed to had happened, hoping she would refuse to give Marcus his remind him that often I had warned him that if he refused remaining money. She prayed and pondered. Surprising to to change his behavior, he would have to find another me, the Spirit indicated to her that the money belonged to place to live. As lovingly as I could, I told him that I had Marcus and that she should give it back to him. had a change of heart. “Marcus,” I said, “this is your home. Over the next three days Marcus squandered his It will always be your home. Whatever happens to you, I money on drugs. That Wednesday, Paula saw Marcus want you to come back here.” stumble into the backyard and collapse for a time on Sullenly, he left the house. There was no noticeable our trampoline. A while later he came into the house. change in his demeanor, but as he walked out the door His first words were spoken in agony and fear: “Mom, I

The Savior’s Atonement, which allowed Marcus the opportunity to return from his bleak encounter with the world, was indisputable proof of our Heavenly Father’s mercy and love.

32 A SUCCESSFUL PARENT “A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and don’t know what I’ve done to myself. one who has cared and prepare himself to serve a Can I come home?” for, taught, and mission. ministered to the needs of a child. Two weeks after Marcus’s 21st Changing a Life If you have done all of these and birthday, he entered the Missionary Some of the most torturous times your child is still wayward or Training Center. Paula and I still have of this ordeal crushed in upon us troublesome or worldly, it could a difficult time reflecting on the last over the next several weeks. During well be that you are, nevertheless, several years. When we consider the this time Marcus tried desperately a successful parent. Perhaps there pain and heartache as well as the to break from his habits; then he are children who have come into subsequent joy of Marcus’s reforma- would lose his resolve and crash the world that would challenge tion, it is difficult to control our again. It was painful and discouraging any set of parents under any set of emotions. We learned a great deal to watch him battle without conquer- circumstances. Likewise, perhaps from our experience. We learned ing the adversary. Heartbroken, we there are others who would bless that no person or family is free from wondered if we had lost him, if he the lives of, and be a joy to, almost the buffetings of Satan. It is ab- had crossed the line of no return. But any father or mother.” solutely vital that we heed the Lord’s his siblings rallied round him with President Howard W. Hunter (1907–95), counsel to pray, study the scriptures, “Parents’ Concern for Children,” Ensign, love and determination. Never had Nov. 1983, 65. and be together as a family. These we pulled together with such united are wonderful protections, but resolve. Still, Paula and I were frightened and dismayed be- they don’t exempt our children or us from tragedy, trials, cause we recognized what an insidious force held Marcus. and temptations. Our entire family fought on against what seemed insur- We learned that we must heed the spiritual promptings mountable odds, but we persisted, fasted, and prayed. from the Holy Ghost. The Spirit whispered to a seminary Finally Marcus returned to an old job where he worked teacher, who called me at work. The Spirit whispered to out of town for a week at a time, usually isolated from civi- me to leave work to visit with Marcus. I remember so well lization. Returning at the end of that first week, Marcus the direct impression as I made my list: Love him and let announced he had gone the whole time without so much him feel the influence of family. The Spirit prompted me as a cigarette—the first time in almost two and a half to leave church, return home, and express my love to years. Our elation was guarded, but we were immensely Marcus. There were many times that the Spirit whispered grateful for even a sliver of hope. The following weekend to Paula and me, and we learned it was absolutely impera- he reported the same glad news. He began taking his tive that we follow the promptings. I am convinced that Book of Mormon to work. Soon he was taking extra had we ignored these soft whisperings, we would have copies of the Book of Mormon to give away, which he lost Marcus. did regularly. Heavenly Father loves Marcus, as He loves each of us. I don’t know exactly what clicked inside Marcus, but Throughout this period of struggle and hurt, I was gently he turned his life around. It was inspiring and humbling reminded that long before Paula and I assumed earthly to see an Alma the Younger–type transformation unfold custody of this young man, he had been, and was still, our in our home. Marcus wasn’t the same person anymore. Heavenly Father’s son. The Savior’s Atonement, which More than anything he wanted to serve a mission. He allowed Marcus the opportunity to return from his bleak determined that whatever it took, no matter how long, encounter with the world, was indisputable proof of our he was going to follow the path of complete repentance Heavenly Father’s mercy and love. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 33 BY DEBBIE J. CHRISTENSEN

y second great-grand- mother Julia Hill and Mher sister Emily were Drawing Strength baptized as teens in England, and During one particularly diffi- then their parents, Thomas and cult time for me, I prayed for Elizabeth Hill, disowned them. understanding and had a dream Nevertheless, Julia and Emily earned their about Julia and Emily. Their example own passage to America and sailed from of sisterhood lifted and encouraged me. Liverpool on the ship Thornton. Also on board this ship Whether what I saw in my dream really happened exactly was Captain James G. Willey, who led the fourth handcart as I imagined does not matter to me. What does matter company west. is the lesson I learned. I came to see clearly the parallel Once 23-year-old Julia and 20-year-old Emily arrived in between it and my own struggle. Iowa, they joined the Willey handcart company. Early winter In my dream, I could see Julia and Emily stranded in the snowstorms caused everyone to suffer from hunger and ex- snow on the windy summit of Rocky Ridge with the rest of posure. On Rocky Ridge in Wyoming, many starved or froze the Willey handcart company. They had no heavy clothing to to death. Those who survived were comforted in their suf- keep them warm. Julia was sitting in the snow, shaking. She fering by their testimonies of Jesus Christ. But I believe could not carry on. Emily, who was freezing as well, knew what saved Julia and Emily, in addition to their testimonies, that if she did not help Julia stand up, Julia would die. As

was their love for each other as sisters. Emily wrapped her arms around her sister to help her up, CLARK KELLEY PRICE BY PAINTING

34 My ancestors’ experiences as handcart pioneers on Rocky Ridge in 1856 reminded me that we are not alone in our struggles.

Julia began to cry—but no tears came, only soft whimpering We’ll build up his kingdom with earnest endeavor; sounds. Together they walked slowly to their handcart. We’ll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak. Thirteen died that terrible night. Julia and Emily survived. The errand of angels is given to women; We all have trials, but like Julia and Emily we needn’t And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim: perish on the windswept summit alone. Though we may To do whatsoever is gentle and human, feel abandoned, we are not. The Savior is near, and our To cheer and to bless in humanity’s name. brothers and sisters in the gospel are near as well. Perhaps we can even do as Emily did and lift another, even though How vast is our purpose, how broad is our mission, we ourselves are suffering. When we do this, our brothers If we but fulfill it in spirit and deed. and sisters become as important as ourselves. We become Oh, naught but the Spirit’s divinest tuition sanctified—made clean and holy through our service. We Can give us the wisdom to truly succeed. become more like our Savior. (Hymns, no. 309) Julia and Emily understood this. IN TIMES OF NEED I love Julia and Emily for their Writing Music “Life never was example to me. I love my sisters Years after passing through the intended to be in the gospel. I know we must intense trials on Rocky Ridge, Emily easy. Rather, it is love and serve others with ten- penned the words to the hymn “As a period of prov- derness if we would live with Sisters in Zion.” I have often drawn ing and growth. God. If we do, we will be of strength from them: It is interwoven one heart and one mind and with difficulties, challenges, and therefore will be His. ■ burdens. . . . Yet these very forces, As sisters in Zion, we’ll all work Debbie J. Christensen if squarely faced, provide oppor- is a member of the together; Sherwood Hills Ward, The blessings of God on our labors tunity for tremendous personal Provo Utah Edgemont North Stake. we’ll seek. growth and development.” Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “The Plan for Happiness and Exaltation,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 11. ENSIGN JUNE 2004 35 SEEING BEYOND SINGLE

Married Church members can do much to help single adults feel welcome and accepted.

BY CHRIS BROUGH

s a young boy, I had my entire life planned out. I many of us are involved in civic activities, charities, would serve a mission at age 19. Upon my return hobbies, and other activities. I always appreciate it A I would start my college career and find someone when others ask me about these activities rather than to marry. I would graduate by age 25 with at least one focusing on my marital status or whether I am dating child and live happily ever after. anyone. It is also much easier to find common ground I’m 31 now, and my life has not turned out exactly the that way. way I imagined. While my mission and education have I believe the vast majority of single Church members passed in the time frame I expected, marriage has not. wholeheartedly support the Church’s emphasis on the Being an “older” single hasn’t been easy, but I can say that family. But because we don’t have families of our own, it in many ways I am grateful for this experience because I can be painful when our marital status is frequently the have grown tremendously from it. However, one aspect of main topic of conversation. I have friends who unfortu- being single still perplexes me: the separation I sometimes nately have chosen inactivity in the Church because they feel from married members of the Church. feel out of place, even though they have a testimony. Since most Church members marry at a younger age, They plan on returning to activity when they get married. they may find it difficult to relate to older single members. Some do return—others get lost in the mists of darkness. While I can’t speak for all single members of the Church, Of course, these individuals are responsible for their own there are some experiences many of us seem to share. In decisions. But we are much more likely to feel comfort- light of this, I would like to offer some suggestions to mar- able in Church settings when we are welcomed by mem- ried members for interacting with singles—at the same bers who don’t focus on what we lack but rather accept time recognizing that we single members also bear respon- us and value what we have to contribute. sibility for reaching out to married members of the Church. “Fellowship One with Another” Finding Common Ground Some good-natured teasing can be enjoyable in almost My single friends and I lead busy, productive lives. In any relationship. But I will admit that I groan when I hear addition to work, school, and Church responsibilities, the all-too-familiar quote about single men above 25 being

36 Y MODELS PHOTOGRAPHY BY MATT REIER, POSED B MATT BY PHOTOGRAPHY

“a menace to society.” Even though people who say this Giving Advice are usually well intentioned, such comments send the People often try to give advice to my single friends and indirect message that we single men are purposely me about dating or marriage. I am grateful for their con- shirking the responsibility of marriage. cern, and I know they want me to be happy. However, I am I’ve heard single women say that when they reveal most receptive to advice that I have requested—usually their age and marital status, some people react with from people I have a close relationship with. pity. My single friends don’t want others to feel sorry Sometimes people will tell me that I “just need to get for them. We just want to be warmly greeted, as were married.” But that is like telling a starving person that they members of the Church during Helaman’s day: “And “just need to eat.” We truly want to be married but are sim- they did fellowship one with another, and did rejoice ply struggling with how to do it. And after all, marriage in- one with another, and did have great joy” (Helaman 6:3). volves seeking and receiving confirmation that a potential

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 37 The matchmaking process should be similar. There are many reasons why some people may choose not to accept an offer for a blind date. Please know that we value your interest in us but that we must make our own deci- sions regarding our personal lives.

Pull, Don’t Push When someone is struggling with some- partner is the right thing, we may say that person “needs a little person with whom to push.” May I suggest that when referring create a happy and eternal to single adults, the expression could be relationship. changed to “needs a little pull”? These two Comments such as “quit statements seem similar but actually have being so picky” or “you just need different meanings. to date more” can sting when I am A bishop once said to me, “What is it go- already trying my best. Because many ing to take to get you married?” On another married people found their spouse at an early occasion a different bishop said, “What can age, they might not fully appreciate the fact I do to help you in your dating?” Both bish- My single friends that for others, finding the right partner does ops were concerned about my welfare, but and I are responsible not come so soon or so easily. But when the second bishop, rather than pushing me, for trying to align our someone is guided by the Holy Ghost in offer- indicated his desire to be a part of my life will with the Lord’s ing suggestions and I can feel that influence, I and to offer help. He helped pull me along, by working to develop am comfortable following their counsel re- and he let me decide how much I wanted our spirituality. gardless of their dating expertise. As the scrip- him to be involved. The push method often tures tell us, “The Spirit shall be given unto causes feelings of resistance, while the pull you by the prayer of faith; and if ye receive method most often results in feelings of not the Spirit ye shall not teach” (D&C 42:14). validation and closeness. The one who best exemplified the “pull” Blind Dates approach is the Savior. Many scripture stories Many of my friends enjoy being lined up illustrate this, but two stand out in my mind: with people who have similar interests. But the story of Matthew’s call to the ministry please bear in mind that two people should (see Matthew 9:9–12; Luke 5:27–32) and the have more in common than the fact that they story of the rich man (see Luke 18:18–22). are both single and LDS. If I wanted to help a The Savior didn’t just tell these people what friend find a job, I would not suggest any job to do; He sought to work with them. Christ opening I happened to come across. Instead, went with Matthew to his home to dine and I would learn more about my friend’s back- teach. He told the rich man to sell all he had ground and previous employment, then and join with Him in His ministry. The Savior suggest something he or she might like. knew that if people would journey with Him,

38 He could pull them in the right direction through teaching and example. Likewise, if you will journey with us and help pull us through the challenges we may face, we will be much more successful than if we are pushed.

Being Single Does Not Mean Being Unworthy Because certain callings in the kingdom are reserved for married men, some people might mistakenly think that being single implies unrighteousness. But while my dating methodology may be imperfect, that does not mean I am unworthy. Single people can be particularly vulnerable to the world’s temptations regarding morality Most faithful single Saints are committed to being good and chastity, so I feel it is a great accomplishment to be neighbors, family members, and ward members. worthy to carry a temple recommend. I have often been told that if I had more faith, I could get Only the Lord knows our time and season for marriage married. Yet many faithful people don’t always get what they and what we must do to learn and progress. The Bible tells wish for. Some people long for better health, some people us, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every pur- wish for financial stability, some couples are not blessed with pose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Elder Dallin H. children, and so on. The prophet Abraham was 100 years Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has stated: old and his wife Sarah was 90 years old when she bore Isaac “The Lord has His own timetable. . . . Like other impor- (see Genesis 17:17). Surely they were not tant mortal events that depend on the agency of others made to wait because they lacked faith. or the will and timing of the Lord, marriage cannot be anticipated or planned with certainty.”1 The Lord knows when it will be our time. Until then, my single friends and I are responsible for trying to align our will with the Lord’s by working to develop our spirituality. We do this by seeking to learn and grow from our trials. As a result, some of the most humble, spiritual people I know are single. I be- lieve they are a great asset to the kingdom of God. Parents, leaders, family, and friends want us to get married. We want to be married— probably more than you want us to be. We have similar goals and desires. You have the power to be a positive influence to uplift and inspire. If we work together, I know the Lord will bless our efforts. ■ Chris Brough is a member of the Bair Canyon Branch, Kaysville Utah East Stake. NOTE 1. See “Timing,” Ensign, Oct. 2003, 12, 15.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 39 TEACHING OUR ept CHILDREN TO Acc BY GAYLE M. CLEGG Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency very day at school four-year-old families, they encounter people who are dif- Brandon looked out for Jonathan, an ferent from themselves in language, skin Eautistic classmate. He helped Jonathan color, religion, physical and mental abilities, line up for recess. In the classroom, he would and social standing. As parents we want to often find Jonathan’s crayons and paper for help our children retain the Christlike attrib- him. One day the teacher told Brandon’s utes of meekness, humility, and compassion. mother about Brandon’s unusual kindness. We want them to have hearts full of love for Later the mother shared the teacher’s observa- everyone. How can we help them do this? tions with her son and asked him why he was so kind. Brandon looked at his mom in disbe- He Gave His Love to Everyone We can help our lief that she would have to ask a question with One of the best ways we can help our chil- children see beyond such an obvious answer: “Why, Mom, Jonathan dren accept those who are different is to differences in others is my friend, and he would get lost if I didn’t teach them that Jesus wants us to be kind to and recognize that help.” To Brandon, Jonathan was not a child we are all children who was different; he was a friend. of a loving Heavenly Very young children are naturally meek, Father. humble, patient, and full of love (see Mosiah 3:19). But as they grow older, they become more aware of differences among people. As they interact with more and more people outside their ILLUSTRATIONS ELECTRONICALLY COMPOSED ELECTRONICALLY ILLUSTRATIONS 40 Differences

everyone. Five-year-old Jodi and her family held a special Jodi admitted, “I don’t think I could have hugged that girl I family home evening at a care center to entertain and sing sat by.” Jodi’s mother took her daughter to the piano and for the people living there. Jodi was nervous as she walked played as she sang: into the care center and sat next to a girl who wore a hel- met on her head and a towel around her neck and sat in a If you don’t walk as most people do, . . . wheelchair. The girl could use only one side of her body. Some people talk and laugh at you, She couldn’t talk but did make happy sounding noises But I won’t! I won’t! when she heard the music of Jodi’s family. I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you. Later that night Jodi’s mother said, “It was wonderful That’s how I’ll show my love for you. that we could sing for them, but we probably should have Jesus walked away from none. taken the time to give each one of them a hug. There are He gave his love to ev’ryone. some people who don’t have anyone to give them hugs.” So I will! I will!1

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 41 he words “He The words “He gave his love to ev’ryone” who needs our help? How should we treat gave his love caused Jodi to think. Later she told her someone who is different from us? T to ev’ryone” mother that in her dreams she gave the girl Parental attitudes are like a template par- caused Jodi to think. in the wheelchair a hug and that she hoped ents begin to hold up to their children from Later she told her the family would be able to go to the care their children’s infancy. An attitude, like a lan- mother that in her center again. A mother’s gentle teaching guage, is learned, not inherited. And it is criti- dreams she gave the through a Primary song opened understand- cal that children learn correct attitudes when girl in the wheelchair ing for a young girl. they are very young. When children learn a a hug and that she The words empathy and compassion have language after age eight, they often speak it hoped the family roots in Latin and Greek words meaning “to with an accent. Attitude errors can be would be able to go suffer with.” Empathy means getting behind changed when children are older, but the to the care center the eyes of another person, identifying with older they become the greater the effort it again. A mother’s that person, and understanding why he or takes to correct “the accent.”2 gentle teaching she feels and acts the way he or she does. When a child notices something different through a Primary Having compassion causes you to help some- about a person and brings it to your atten- song opened one feel better because you understand when tion, turn it into a teaching moment. understanding the person is suffering. Suppose you are in the supermarket with for a young girl. What better example to use in teaching your daughter and she says, “That man has our children how we should treat others than only one leg.” Instead of hushing her up and the parable of the good Samaritan? “A certain telling her not to stare, acknowledge what Samaritan, . . . when he saw [the wounded she has seen and share some insight. “Yes, I man,] had compassion on him, and went to see, and he uses a wheelchair to get around. him, . . . and took care of him. . . . Go, and do I suppose that makes shopping difficult thou likewise” (Luke 10:33–34, 37). when he has a lot of groceries to buy.” You can normalize awkward situations and teach Guiding Them As They Grow your child important values about accept- As our children grow older ance and empathy. Children need to learn and become more aware that people with disabilities are like the of differences in peo- rest of us (they go shopping too) but they ple around them, we do have challenges to face (being in a can ask them ques- wheelchair). tions to help them Children might be fearful or hesitant in clarify their thinking: talking to or helping someone with a disabil- Who is our neighbor? Do ity. We need to listen carefully to our chil- you think Jesus meant us to dren’s concerns and allay their fears. Children love only the people who readily accept differences in people when live close to us? How can we parents teach that while human beings may follow Jesus’ teachings and look different on the outside, we are basically show love for other people? the same on the inside. Teach your child that How should we treat someone people with disabilities are people first. They

42 ORY AND ART ORY

are more similar to people without disabili- ties than they are different from them.

Teaching by Example If we want to teach our children the BY WALTER RANE, COURTESY OF MUSEUM OF CHURCH HIST WALTER BY Christlike attributes of tolerance and compas- sion, our own example will speak loudest. Showing is more powerful than telling.

As children are treated with kindness and THE GOOD SAMARITAN, compassion, they will know how that feels, someone’s attention, she immediately begins “A certain Samaritan, and then they can begin to treat others the to babble. A foreign accent, the color of skin, . . . when he saw [the same. If you get behind the eyes of your or a wheelchair doesn’t deter Ella’s friendly wounded man,] had child, he or she will learn to get behind the smile. Ella’s smile is as spontaneous as her compassion on him, eyes of others. mother’s smile. and went to him, . . . A woman wondered how a friend living in and took care of him. a foreign country had helped her young chil- Looking to the Heart . . . Go, and do thou dren adjust so well to a different culture. Some years ago our family was taking a likewise.” She commented that she and her husband drive into the countryside after a week of had been trying to teach their children to be being confined to our home due to exces- tolerant and to value differences in others by sive rainfall. As we pulled off to the side inviting children from the community to of the road to take a look at the cherry play in their home. But their children were blossoms, we felt the car’s tires sink into the still judgmental and critical of the other chil- wet, soft mud. All of our attempts to drive dren. “What more can we do to teach our back onto the center of the road only children tolerance?” she asked her friend. pushed us farther down until the quicksand- The friend answered that she and her hus- like mud was above the car’s hubcaps. We band invited not only children into their were hopelessly stuck and hadn’t seen home but also the parents of the children. another car for some time. We can encourage our children to play Suddenly we noticed a large dilapidated with a variety of children, hoping the experi- truck with six boisterous teenagers coming to ence will enlarge their circles of friendships. a stop behind our car. As they jumped out of But if in our own socialization we friendship the truck, we noticed tattoos, chewing only those similar to ourselves, all the tobacco, and extreme hairstyles. My husband encouraging and teaching we do will fall on became fearful for our family’s safety and told deaf ears. The children will hear what is being us all to get into the car and lock the doors. said but will not be sure of what it means. The young men asked my husband if we Our daughter Emily often takes her one- needed help. My husband said no, we could year-old daughter, Ella, to the park to play. As easily handle the problem. they stroll the six blocks, Ella smiles and says The boys’ appearance looked more ominous “Hi” to folks on the street. If Ella can catch than the car stuck in the mud up to the axle.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 43 saw beyond the temporal coverings to the heart as He reached out to the tax collectors, forgave the debtors, and healed the sinners.

A Compassionate Community As our children learn to be tolerant and accepting, they will feel the joy of loving others

ILLUSTRATED BY SAM LAWLOR BY ILLUSTRATED in a Christlike way. A 10-year-old child with he boys’ The boys noticed the five small children and Down syndrome and limited speech attempted appearance wife in the car as the “we” my husband was to give a short scripture during a children’s T looked more referring to and suggested that he get back into sacrament meeting presentation. As she strug- ominous than the the car and start driving while they pushed. The gled, her 4-year-old sister instantly came to her car stuck in the wheels spun sheets of mud in every direction, side and whispered the words into her ear. The mud, yet they covering the boys from head to toe while they Primary leaders were sensitive enough to not were happy to help pushed the car onto the pavement. assist and to allow the growth and learning to someone in need. My husband pulled money out of his wallet occur naturally with both girls. As the 10-year- The wheels spun to pay the teenagers, but they refused and old returned to her seat on the stand, many sheets of mud in jumped back into the truck, saying they were children complimented her quietly with every direction, happy to help a brother. They were gone touches and nodding eyes. covering the boys before we could even thank them properly. My A whole community of compassionate from head to toe husband, who had expected the worst at the children had experienced the joy described while they pushed outset, was overcome with gratitude. Physical in the Primary song: the car onto the coverings can impede seeing into the heart. Jesus said love ev’ryone; pavement. Our family has often retold the story of Treat them kindly, too. being stuck in the mud and rescued when we When your heart is filled with love, have temporarily forgotten the basic good- Others will love you.3 ■ ness of people and judged needlessly. Jesus NOTES 1. “I’ll Walk with You,” Children’s Songbook, 140–41. 2. From an interview with Dr. Richard Ferre, a special- ist in child and adolescent psychiatry at Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, 16 Nov. 2002. 3. “Jesus Said Love Everyone,” Children’s Songbook, 61.

44 QUESTIONS& ANSWERS learning. I also accepted every calling Question I received, and I learned a lot from I recently joined the Church, and I feel I don’t measure up to each of them. I tried to go to the ac- others in my ward. What can I do to move beyond those feel- tivities, and I met more members and ings and become a strong Latter-day Saint? felt that the Church was my home. Soon I found that I felt stronger, I was enjoying every word in the scriptures, have been in the Church almost 35 and I was enjoying every time I was at years, and I fought this same battle church. I’ve realized it is not just what I for about 20 of those years. But you know that matters; more impor- with age has come a little wisdom that tant is how much love you feel and I share with those feeling they don’t the desire you have to become more measure up: Stop measuring. Enjoy like Jesus Christ. the wonderful blessings of the gospel. Daniela Carchi, Greenville Second Ward, Greenville South Carolina Stake There are no perfect Latter-day Saints. There are a lot of people just Coming from outside the Church like us, striving to live the gospel to did not make me inferior or superior the best of their ability. Some are to anyone else; it was simply where more advanced in one area, some the Lord wanted me to start. When I in another, but all struggle daily to joined the Church, I brought every- overcome weaknesses and improve thing I had that was good and true. over what they were the day before. Over the years, immeasurable good

Realize that you already are a JOHN LUKE BY PHOTOGRAPHY and truth have been added to what strong Latter-day Saint—strong I couldn’t do anything right. Other I had. As I teach and serve in the enough to have struggled until you people in my ward knew so much Church, I find repeatedly that my ex- found the gospel and then strong about the gospel, about the Presidents periences before I was a member have enough to have accepted it. of the Church, about everything. added a dimension to my testimony Jane Stringer, Dallas Fourth Ward, Every time they talked about the for which I will always be grateful. Richardson Texas Stake scriptures, I couldn’t say anything; Terri Brown, Garrison Creek Ward, Renton Washington Stake I joined the Church in Ecuador I just tried to follow the conversation. four years ago. When I first started I decided to start reading the scrip- Ask Heavenly Father for help with going to church, I felt out of place. tures. I loved the feelings in my heart your challenges. Listen, write down I didn’t know anybody besides the while reading, so I tried to study any ideas you think of, then choose missionaries and my family. I felt more carefully. I felt peace, and I kept some ideas to implement.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 45 QUESTIONS& ANSWERS

Read your scriptures and study the Prepare to receive the blessings of When I joined the Church as a Gospel Essentials manual, Gospel the temple. There you will receive college student, I felt inadequate Principles (item no. 31110000; U.S. the full blessings of the gospel, and compared to many of my new $3.00), even if your ward or branch you can feel a sweet spirit of peace friends. Most had been members of doesn’t have a Gospel Essentials class. and the conviction that you are God’s the Church their entire lives and had You can order the manual from the child and He loves you. That’s what pioneer ancestors. I expressed my Church Web site www.lds.org. Church really matters. feelings to my branch president, and members living in the United States Victoria Draper, Kimberly First Ward, he said that as the first member in Kimberly Idaho Stake and Canada can also order the Church my family, I was a pioneer, and my magazines through this Web site. descendants would be eternally Comparing yourself with others is Howard Coons, Oak Hills Eighth Ward, grateful that I joined the Church. Provo Utah Oak Hills Stake unproductive. While society trains us A cloud lifted from my mind as I to be competitive, the gospel is essen- Remember the Apostle Paul’s reflected on his words. I had made tially cooperative in nature. The com- teaching that every member is a vital sacrifices to join the Church, just like parison should be between what you part of the whole body of the Church the pioneers. Each day was a journey are now and what you hope to be- (see 1 Corinthians 12:12–27). We all across my spiritual plains. I was part come. Focus on improving your rela- are important and are needed in the of the Church’s tradition of pioneer tionship with Heavenly Father and Lord’s great work. If you come upon heritage. Jesus Christ, gain strength from those one of us “veterans” in the gospel I recently celebrated five years of in the Church who have strengths you who seems impatient with you, please Church membership. I still have mo- do not have, and lend your strength to gently remind us that you are new at ments when I feel I don’t measure up others who need it from you. this and need help. Sometimes we to other members, but those are You are probably seeing others forget you have not grown up with eclipsed by my knowledge that in the in terms of stereotypes instead of as the Church as we have. Lord’s eyes, there is no measuring actual individuals. Despite appear- tape. Whether we are the first mem- ances, no member of the Church Serving in a calling helps you get ber of the Church in our families or is perfect. When I was younger, I to know others as you contribute part of a fifth generation of members, thought everyone else at church was to building the Lord’s kingdom. we can each be faithful in our testi- the same: righteous, middle class, mony and commitment to the Lord. and happy. As I consciously looked Brandy Sanders, Ocean Branch, Santa Cruz beyond the stereotypes and labels California Stake and got to know people as individu- After I joined the Church, I asked a als, I found a rich variety of personal- lot of questions at every opportunity. ities, many of whom have become Often other members would thank my closest friends. It takes time to me for asking a question they were develop meaningful relationships too embarrassed to ask. (Apparently with people, and the process is many Latter-day Saints believe they made easier when we don’t make should know the answers if they grew assumptions about them. up in the Church.) Your testimony is Traci Dysart, Kent First Ward, Kent Washington Stake new and shiny. You can breathe life

46 into other members’ testimonies simply by sharing how your own testimony has grown. I have now been in three branches or wards. During my first meeting with a branch president or bishop, I always tell him I would like a calling. Serving in a calling helps me feel part of things, helps me interact more with others, and provides another reason to participate in Church activities. Lori Solomon, Suncheon Branch, Suncheon Korea District

Shortly after joining the Church, I decided to serve a mission. It didn’t take long, however, before my en- thusiasm was overshadowed by my Prepare to receive the blessings of the temple. There you will feel the conviction feelings of inadequacy. How could I that you are God’s child and He loves you. teach people about the gospel when I felt I had so little knowledge? the Primary songs. What they will any mistakes we have made in the After I had been serving in Hong remember and what will help them past no longer matter. Kong for several months, a young, the most is our love for them. Karen Hansen, Lodi Third Ward, Lodi California Stake less-active girl taught me an invalu- Patricia Porch-Hooper, Orland Park Ward, Chicago Illinois Stake Feelings of inadequacy are “com- able lesson. We had been trying to mon to man” (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). get her to come to church for weeks, As a new convert, I shared with Even the prophets Moses and Enoch but she was evasive. Finally, one several other members my feelings expressed such feelings (see Exodus Sunday she surprised us by showing of inadequacy. They opened up to 4:10; Moses 6:31). In many cases we up. During Sunday School the me, and I learned that many of my compare our weaknesses with others’ teacher asked the class members to new friends who I thought were al- strengths without considering that name the person in their lives who most perfect were actually coming every one of us has both weaknesses had shown them the most love. back into activity. What a surprise to and strengths. If we will forsake these When it was her turn, A-Ling said, me! I learned that we are all imper- negative judgments of self and express “The missionaries.” I realized then fect and are on the same path. We gratitude for the gifts the Lord has that what mattered most to A-Ling are all working toward a common given us, we will become more recep- was that she could count on us to goal: to return to Heavenly Father. tive to the promptings of the Holy love her. Along this path we make mistakes, Ghost. The Holy Ghost is a great equal- I learned that people who need but the important thing is to get izer and allows ordinary people to our service probably aren’t con- back on the path and to help others achieve extraordinary results. ■ cerned about whether we can recite who may be slipping. And as we ex- Doug Mainord, Royal Oaks Ward, Keizer all the Articles of Faith or sing all ercise repentance and grow in faith, Oregon Stake

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 47 The summer the McMillan family moved in, our neighborhood changed—and not for the better. THE NEIGHBORS NO ONE WANTED BY MARILYNN BARNES y family and I had thoroughly enjoyed living in the neighborhood in general that began to change our quiet, peaceful neighborhood. Everyone the neighborhood atmosphere. A pall of hostility was Mon our street was friendly, and we were all settling over the street. happy to welcome new neighbors. But then the We were the only members of the Church in the McMillans (all names have been changed) moved in. subdivision. My family and I had always felt that good Sandra McMillan, a single mother, worked nights at a relationships with our neighbors were of utmost 24-hour bar and grill. The person who stayed overnight importance. We knew most of the neighbors by name

with the children always left early in the morning as and felt comfortable stopping and chatting with any of GREGG THORKELSON BY ILLUSTRATED soon as Sandra got home from work. The children them. We welcomed the neighborhood children into were sent out to play at the beginning of each day, our yard and home. We took meals when someone while their mother tried to sleep. Frequently the chil- was sick, mowed lawns when others were on vacation, dren’s laughter—or fighting—brought her to the door and watched children when parents got in a pinch. We to yell at them. More than one judgmental thought had made a sincere, constant effort to be good friends crossed my mind as I watched what I considered very and examples to everyone in our subdivision, and it poor parenting. had been easy. But now the whole neighborhood The family hadn’t lived there long when two of the equation had changed with the addition of Sandra and children started a fire in my next-door neighbor’s trash her undisciplined offspring. can. A few days later the youngest, Carl, let the air out I didn’t detect neglect in the legal sense in the of another neighbor’s tires. This was the beginning of a McMillan household. The children seemed well fed series of incidents between the McMillan children and and their clothing was usually presentable, but there

48 was little doubt they were growing up like children’s behavior. Honestly, I don’t believe he rock hit the wild grass. They were disruptive—at times I really wanted to know her. She seemed too windshield of even destructive—and their mother was hos- unpleasant and, underneath it all, I resented T my car. Carl tile toward reported complaints, regardless of the changes her family had brought to our turned pale, looked how well founded. happy little neighborhood. at me, and took off Because of her nocturnal schedule and her for home. I called low threshold for negative information con- A Quiet Reminder after him: “Carl cerning her children, I had not made my One day while listening to a neighbor tell McMillan, come usual efforts to get to know Sandra. I had of finding the McMillan children showing off back here!” heard accounts of a number of verbal con- an adult magazine, I could feel my dismay and frontations that had taken place when frustration grow. I was tired of this unrest and neighbors had approached her about the contention. As I half listened to all the details

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 49 of the latest affront to our tranquility, I was surprised by a especially when the McMillan children were over in our sudden thought, as clear as if spoken to me: “She is doing yard most of each day. I found that if a feeling of impa- the best she can with what she understands; be patient tience or resentment arose, the Spirit reminded me in a with her and her children.” kind, gentle way that as inconvenient as it was to me, I was Shame and concern washed over me. That idea was so doing what the Lord would have me do in this situation. different from what I had been feeling that I immediately When the children began to come over on a regular recognized it as the Spirit instructing me. I suddenly basis, I sat them down and explained the yard rules. I let remembered a passage in my patriarchal blessing. It coun- them know they were always welcome as long as they fol- seled me to remember to be kind and patient with lowed these rules and that they were the same rules my those who are not members of the Church, for children had to follow: no hitting, no by kindness and patience I would do name calling, no bad words, and much missionary work that I would absolutely no fire. The McMillan not be aware of. Clearly, I had a children solemnly agreed. responsibility to do the best I could As I had assumed, our efforts to learn to love this neighbor, and I to be kind were not problem felt ashamed that I had needed to be free. But as long as they were in reminded. Yet I was still unsure our yard, the three children did exactly what to do, so I decided to try very hard to behave. Perhaps make the issue a matter of prayer. they did not want to be banned I asked my children if they from the last place that welcomed minded playing with the McMillan them in the neighborhood. children. To my surprise, they We occasionally invited the readily agreed that when the children over for family home

McMillans were behaving them- I heard a knock at my door. Answering it, I found evening, took them out for ice selves, they were fun to be with. myself looking into the eyes of Sandra McMillan. cream, and even took them with But they also agreed that the Standing beside her—or rather trying to hide us to the zoo. I never spoke to siblings were an unwelcome behind her—was a trembling, crying Carl. Sandra directly though—I’m not challenge at times. As we talked, exactly sure why. I always wrote a I felt an inner assurance that the McMillans’ behavior was friendly note asking permission for the children to come not going to have a detrimental effect on the choices my with us, and she would reply with a note of permission, children made. usually just a simple yes. Occasionally I sent over fresh When I suggested that we pray for the McMillans and bread or cookies, but she never responded. pray for ourselves so that we could be better neighbors to this family, my children and husband agreed. Considering A Chip in My Windshield all the past problems, I was not under the illusion this was One day I was sweeping the front steps while the children going to be an easy change. But I felt determined. were playing in the yard. Carl became upset with his brother As I sincerely pondered the situation, the Spirit kindly and began to yell at him. Before I could intervene, Carl gave me some insights into Sandra’s struggles—even her picked up a rock and threw it at his brother. Only five years exhaustion and loneliness were made known to me in a old, Carl had poor aim and fortunately missed his brother by very powerful way. These insights were a great gift to me, many feet. The rock hit the windshield of my car instead,

50 knelt down so I could look him I in the eye, and I was taken aback when he fell into my arms and cried as if his little heart would break. My soul was filled with a powerful love for this child.

creating a long chip on the driver’s side. quick prayer and braced myself for the Carl turned pale, looked at me, and unpleasantness I was sure was coming. I was took off for home. I called after him: “Carl caught off guard when instead of an angry McMillan, come back here!” attack, Sandra, nervously looking down at her At that, the other McMillan children made a feet, said, “My son Carl has something he hasty retreat. I had not yelled at Carl in anger wants to say to you.” but had raised my voice to get his attention. She then pushed Carl toward me, where I can’t explain why, but I honestly didn’t feel he sobbed out a soft “I’m sorry I threw a rock angry at him. I had just wanted to talk to him and hit your car.” about not throwing rocks at people. I knelt down so I could look him in the I was certain that Carl wasn’t going to eye, and I was taken aback when he fell into come back to talk to me, so I went back into my arms and cried as if his little heart would the house to ponder how to handle what break. My soul was filled with a powerful love had happened. As frustrated as I was by the for this child. I knew these feelings of love incident, I knew that I did not have the will were a gift to me to help me understand to go over and inform Sandra—this was Carl’s importance to our Heavenly Father. hardly the ideal time to have our first face- I sensed Carl was afraid he had done the to-face conversation. unforgivable, so I reassured him. I explained A few moments later, I heard a knock at to him that I wasn’t angry and that I had just my door. Answering it, I found myself looking wanted to talk to him about the danger of into the eyes of Sandra McMillan. Standing throwing rocks. When he could see that he beside her—or rather trying to hide behind was still going to be welcome in our yard, he her—was a trembling, crying Carl. I said a calmed down.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 51 I stood up and was surprised to recounted how the missionaries had see Sandra fighting back tears. She tracted her out one afternoon when had not said anything the whole she had been feeling about as low as time I was speaking to Carl. When she had ever felt. She then said I finished, she took him by the something that caused me to catch hand and simply said, “Thank you; my breath in surprise. it won’t happen again.” She then I returned her smile, uncertain she would “I let the missionaries in partly walked back across the street with remember me; but to my surprise, she threw her because of your family and how her son. Shaken by the incident, arms around me as if we were long-lost friends. you treated us, especially how but knowing that the Spirit had you treated my children. I didn’t attended all of us, I felt peaceful about what had know you were a member of the Church—I didn’t even just happened. know the Church existed. But I had seen how you lived, and I saw what sort of neighbor you were. I didn’t know Moving Out and Moving On why I felt what I did around you, but because of watching A short time later, on a weekend when we were out you, I knew there had to be a better way to live. When the of town, the McMillans moved away. No one knew where missionaries knocked on my door, I knew somehow they they had gone or why they had left. In spite of the tender could show me that better way.” moment I had shared with them, I felt a certain sense of I was speechless—I had done so little, and not all of relief to be out from under the stress of that situation. The that with the best attitude. She went on to tell me of how months passed, and I seldom thought of the McMillan family. the gospel had brought her peace she had not thought The neighborhood gradually settled back into its previ- possible, even though life was still a great struggle for her ous calm. About a year later my family and I moved to and her family. another wonderful neighborhood, where we again made As we spoke, a powerful impression swept over me. I many good friends. realized what could have taken place if I had given in to my Another two years passed, and I was serving as Relief frustration and anger at the behavior of the McMillan chil- Society president in my ward. It was the practice of the dren. As a fellow Saint or as her Relief Society president, I bishopric to have the auxiliary leaders stand at the chapel would not have had any credibility with her. All of the diffi- doors and greet ward members and visitors before sacra- culties that could have been created if I had not loved my ment meeting. One Sunday as I was greeting people, I was neighbor paraded before me, leaving me shaken and so taken by surprise when Sandra McMillan and her children grateful that I had heeded the Spirit that prompted me to walked up to me. I was astounded by the transformation. remain patient. This was immediately followed by peace at Here was a lovely, modestly dressed young mother, her the joyous reality that this wonderful family had found and pretty face free of most of the stress I remembered it bear- embraced the gospel. ing, and her scrubbed and cheerful children in tow. Sandra really had been doing her best under her diffi- I returned her smile, uncertain she would remember cult circumstances, and when she was ready, the gospel me; but to my surprise, she threw her arms around me as came into her life. How grateful I was that I had not been if we were long-lost friends. a stumbling block for her and that my family had tried to I asked why she was there, and she informed me that reach out to love a difficult neighbor. ■ she had joined the Church about 10 months before and Marilynn Barnes is a member of the Springfield Second Ward, had just moved into the ward. Her eyes were misty as she Springfield Missouri Stake.

52 BOOK OF MORMON

PRINCIPLES

, POSED BY MODEL , POSED BY Obeying

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CRAIG DIMOND BY PHOTOGRAPHY the Lord’s Spirit

BY ELDER ROSS H. MC EACHRAN business idea came to my mind. I quickly Area Authority Seventy pushed the thought away as I did not want North America Northeast Area to contemplate business ventures on the little more than 25 years ago, when Sabbath day. Again it came to my mind, and I was a relatively new member of again I tried to block the thought. A third A the Church, I contemplated starting time, as we were standing to sing the inter- a new business. This move would involve mediate hymn, the matter entered my As we heed the mortgaging our home and borrowing addi- thoughts in an even stronger way. It occurred promptings of the tional funds, certainly a major decision for to me that maybe the Spirit was trying to tell Spirit, we can attain our family. me something. I silently prayed to Heavenly the assurance that After considerable research, I took Father, asking Him if it was a good decision permits us to go the matter to the Lord in prayer. I prayed for me to start this business. The answer forward with about it for several weeks. Then on one came immediately and powerfully. As the confidence particular Sunday, our family went to stake tears ran down my face, I knew with a surety and peace. conference, and during the meeting this that the decision to start this new business

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 53 blessings do come to those who “list,” or choose, to obey the Lord’s Spirit. BY GARY E. GARY SMITH BY

According to Our Works Mormon, in recounting the wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites and those NEPHITES’ LAST BATTLE, who joined with them, recorded: “And in one year were thousands and tens of thousands of souls sent to the eternal world, that they might reap their rewards ac- cording to their works, whether they were good or whether they were bad, to reap eter- nal happiness or eternal misery, according to the spirit which they listed to obey, whether it be a good spirit or a bad one. “For every man receiveth wages of him In recounting the wars was a correct one. I subsequently went for- whom he listeth to obey” (Alma 3:26–27). between the Nephites ward with confidence, borrowed the appro- The Old Testament story of Naaman illus- and the Lamanites, priate funds, and commenced operations of trates what the Book of Mormon teaches Mormon wrote, “And the business. about the importance of choosing to obey in one year were Six months into this new venture, after the Lord’s Spirit. After Naaman, captain of thousands and tens we had spent nearly all of the money, things the host of the king of Syria, contracted lep- of thousands of souls started to look bleak. Nothing seemed to rosy, a young maid from Israel who waited sent to the eternal be working right. We simply did not have on Naaman’s wife stated that if he were in world, that they enough customers or sales volume to make Samaria, the prophet would heal him. That might reap their the business work. was an impressive concept, since there was rewards . . . according On a Saturday morning I knelt beside my no cure for leprosy at that time. to the spirit which bed and poured out my heart to Heavenly Naaman decided to heed the maid’s words. they listed to obey.” Father. I did not receive any specific direc- He traveled to Samaria and was directed to tion, but a beautiful, warm feeling, which only the house of the prophet Elisha, who sent a the Spirit can bring, came over me. I knew messenger to the door and instructed everything would be fine. I continued work- Naaman to wash seven times in the Jordan ing hard, and one week later, the following River. Naaman had thought the prophet Saturday, we received the biggest contract I would come out and heal him directly. He was could have ever imagined. That contract was so upset that the scriptures record he “went all we needed to start making this venture a away in a rage” (2 Kings 5:12). successful one. Then his servants came to him and said, That experience helped teach me, among “If the prophet had bid thee do some great other things, to understand and recognize thing, wouldest thou not have done it?” the promptings of the Spirit and to know that (v. 13). Naaman realized the truth of what

54 ILLUSTRATED BY PAUL MANN PAUL BY ILLUSTRATED they said. Humbled, he followed Elisha’s direction, dipping himself seven times in Jordan. “And his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean” (v. 14). He had a change of heart, chose to obey the Lord’s Spirit as given through His prophet, and was blessed. But our story does not end there. Naaman, rejoicing to be rid of his leprosy, returned to Elisha and offered him gold, silver, and cloth- ing as tokens of his appreciation. As we would expect, Elisha declined the gifts. When Naaman left for home with his servants, Elisha’s servant Gehazi let greed get the better of him. He followed after Naaman and told him Elisha had changed his mind about the offered reward. After Gehazi had gathered the bounty, returned home, and hid it for himself, Elisha said to him, “Whence comest thou, Gehazi? And he said, Thy servant went no whither. “And he said unto him, Went not mine heart with thee, when the man turned again from his chariot to meet thee? Is it a time to receive money, and to receive garments, and oliveyards, and vineyards, and sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and maidservants? “The leprosy therefore of Naaman shall cleave unto thee, and unto thy seed for ever. aaman was And he went out from his presence a leper as humbled white as snow” (vv. 25–27). Nand chose to obey the prophet’s Making Wise Decisions Each of us has countless decisions to make instructions. “And How sad it was for Gehazi when he listed in a lifetime, many every day. Through the his flesh came again to obey the wrong spirit. We may not see promptings of the Spirit, we can attain the like unto the flesh such dramatic and immediate results in our assurance that permits us to go forward with of a little child, and own lives, but as surely as the sun will rise to- confidence and peace, knowing that we have he was clean.” morrow, we will receive—perhaps in this life listed to obey the Lord’s Spirit in making our and surely in the next—the wages of him decisions and that we will be blessed in time whom we list to obey. and in eternity. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 55 BE YE

ne abundance of their vegetable garden with Unity in a ward is not just O many families in the ward. Unfortunately, ad- a desirable state; it is a commandment of God. vancing age, ill health, and scarce resources limited their ability to maintain their home. As is often the case with such projects, the TOGRAPHY BY CHRISTINA SMITH BY TOGRAPHY BY ELDER H. ALDRIDGE GILLESPIE initial work revealed that the renovation would Of the Seventy need to be more extensive than had been ini- t was an exciting proposal. The leaders tially planned. However, the ward leaders were all in favor, and the home teachers never doubted the inspiration that prompted were thrilled. The idea was to renovate the effort, and as they asked for even more I LEWIS; PHO DANIEL BY ILLUSTRATED the home of a ward family. The bishopric, the from the ward, the members increased their priesthood executive committee, and the efforts, contributions, and sacrifices. It seemed ward council were all united in their enthusi- that everyone—young and old, active and less asm. This was a service that was desperately active—came forward to give of their time, la- needed. To be sure, it would require enor- bor, money, materials, equipment, skill, food, mous effort, many hours of labor, and the and moral support. Finally, the work was com- support of the entire ward. Without total pleted, and everyone involved felt greatly unity, it could not be accomplished. blessed for the experience. When the idea was presented in priest- The effort began with inspired vision and hood meeting, there was heartfelt approval, the unity of the ward leaders, but the result and the brethren began lining up for assign- was a ward that showed signs of fulfilling the ments in work and contributions. The Relief objectives of Zion: “They were of one heart Society sisters quickly prepared lists of volun- and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; teers for each phase of the project. and there was no poor among them” This family whose house we planned to (Moses 7:18). repair had joined the Church just a few years Achieving true ward or branch before. Their difficult situation was the prod- unity may be as difficult as it is rare. uct of years of hard but ill-rewarded labor. But great progress can be made Nonetheless, each year they shared the

56 hen the service in each ward W project and branch of the turned out to require Church as leaders and members much more work apply the following principles: (1) learn the than was originally doctrine, (2) eliminate contention, (3) forgive planned, it seemed others, (4) watch over and strengthen each that all the members other, and (5) sacrifice for the kingdom of God. came forward to give of their time, labor, Learn the Doctrine money, materials, In the Book of Mormon, Alma instructed the equipment, skill, members of his new congregation “that food, and moral there should be no contention one with support.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 57 stated: “Unity within the Church and among the saints is the goal of the gospel. There is no place in the Church for division, for disagreement on doctrine, for cults and cliques. . . . Among the faithful saints there is only one mind and one judgment and these are the Lord’s.”1 As we move toward this goal, we also progress in establish- ing a ward that is truly uni- fied, displaying increasingly the characteristics of Zion. If our wards and branches are to be spared the divisive in- fluence that has been the downfall of many people, we must avoid the fool- ishness and precepts of men when teach- ers and speakers do not focus on “the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves” (2 Nephi 9:28). On many such occasions, “they teach for doctrines the he unifying another, but that they should look forward with commandments of men, having a form of doctrines we one eye, having one faith and one baptism, hav- godliness, but they deny the power thereof” Tteach in our ing their hearts knit together in unity and in (Joseph Smith—History 1:19). meetings (or in our love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21). The unifying doctrines we teach in our home teaching and Those new Saints in the wilderness of Nephi meetings (or in our home teaching and visit- visiting teaching truly did unite themselves, accepting Alma’s ing teaching visits) must be grounded firmly visits) must be challenge: “And thus they became the children in the gospel of Christ. President Harold B. grounded firmly in of God. . . . And they did walk uprightly before Lee (1899–1973) put it this way: “We are not the gospel of Christ God, imparting to one another both temporally set apart to teach philosophies or sciences of as found in the four and spiritually according to their needs and the world. We are set apart to teach the prin- standard works. their wants” (Mosiah 18:22, 29). ciples of the gospel as found in the four stan- Unity in a ward is not just a desirable state; dard works. . . . We are convinced that our it is a commandment of God and is one of members are hungry for the gospel, undi- the observable fruits of the gospel of Jesus luted, with its abundant truths and insights.”2 Christ. In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord said, “If ye are not one ye are not mine” Eliminate Contention (D&C 38:27). Elder Bruce R. McConkie of the The resurrected Savior, knowing the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (1915–1985) “carnal, sensual, and devilish” nature of most

58 people (see Moses 5:13), taught His doctrine to the but the Lord commands the innocent person, the one who Nephites at Bountiful, also warning them: “Neither shall is without fault, the one who has been offended, to search there be disputations among you. . . . He that hath the spirit out his brother and seek to repair the breech.”3 This princi- of contention is not of me, but is of the devil” (3 Nephi ple applies equally to ward leaders, especially bishops, who 11:28–29). Establishing unity in a ward requires that leaders are sometimes the object of criticism and backbiting. Their be alert to every facet of discord that arises, being careful example in such situations can determine whether unity not to ignore the potential for contention to destroy testi- governs in a ward or if pride is to rule. mony and faith. We must teach what Christ taught, that His doctrine is not “to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one Watch Over and Strengthen Each Other against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things The degree of unity in a ward or branch is closely asso- should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:30). ciated with the efforts of the priesthood quorums and To build unity we must avoid contention by controlling Relief Society in seeing that the homes of all members are our own words as well as rumor, gossip, accusation, and visited faithfully and that sound doctrine is taught in these criticism. The seven evils the Lord “hates” all seem to be visits. “The scriptural foundation of home teaching is the associated with the failure to control our thoughts and words. These are “a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren” (Proverbs 6:17–19). We must be con- stantly alert to and eliminate such behavior among us.

Forgive Others In spite of our best efforts, sometimes people in the ward will have hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and hardness to- ward others. We must not ignore those who have taken of- fense, whether or not we believe their feelings are justified, for when hardness enters into a person’s heart, his spirit be- gins to shrivel. The Lord counseled, “My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not Although it can be a slow process to knit hearts together, one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were af- those who put forth the effort will grow in love and charity flicted and sorely chastened. Wherefore, I say unto you, that toward their fellow members. ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; commandment for priesthood holders to ‘watch over the for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:8–9). church always, and be with and strengthen them’ (D&C Unfortunately, this concept has escaped many of us, 20:53).” Similarly, visiting teachers are to “offer support, but as Elder McConkie explained: “It is not the sinner, the comfort, and friendship.”4 transgressor, the offender, the liar who is commanded to The result of personal contact in the homes of the take the initiative in restoring peace and unity among members is a powerful force for good: “For both he that brethren. If perchance he should do so, well and good, sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of one”

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 59 to observe their covenants by sacrifice—yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command” (D&C 97:8). Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have shown us what true love entails: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son” (John 3:16). And as Amulek taught, “It is expedient that there should be a great and last sacrifice, . . . an infinite and eternal sacrifice” (Alma (Hebrews 2:11). Although it 34:10). Christ’s sacrifice for us was infinite and eternal, and can be a slow process to knit His love for us is no less. “Power dwells in unity, not in dis- hearts together (see Mosiah 18:21), those who put cord; in humility, not pride; in sacrifice, not selfishness; forth the effort will grow in love and charity toward their obedience, not rebellion.”6 fellow members. They will become part of each other’s To exemplify, we might consider the basis of the bound- lives and become truly willing to bear one another’s bur- less love a mother feels for her children. Is it not because of dens, to mourn together, and to comfort one another her years of sacrifice for their welfare and happiness? The (see Mosiah 18:8–9). more she willingly gives up the things of the world for Church callings fill a critical role them, the greater her love. So it is in ward unity, opening the door to with all of us; we develop a love for greater service as we share our that for which we sacrifice. As we time, talents, and means. The honor our covenants and sacrifice Apostle Paul taught: “And he HELPS FOR HOME EVENING our own interests for the well-being gave some, apostles; and some, 1. Read together the home renovation story. of other Church members, we prophets; and some, evangelists; Invite family members to share similar experiences. build a greater unity through love. and some, pastors and teachers; 2. Review the five principles that can enable Bishops and other leaders must For the perfecting of the saints, a ward or branch to become unified. When and teach, encourage, and give mem- for the work of the ministry, for how have you been blessed by a sense of true bers opportunities to sacrifice for the edifying of the body of Christ” ward or branch unity? the Lord’s kingdom and for each (Ephesians 4:11–12). Everyone 3. According to Elder Gillespie, what are other. Even as “the first fruits of re- needs to feel that he or she is an in- some ways we can eliminate contention from pentance is baptism” (Moroni 8:25), tegral part of the ward; unity and a ward or branch? How can we encourage the so payment of tithing and generous perfection come through involve- spirit of forgiveness? Invite family members to fast offerings are the first signs of ment in the ministry. President do something this week to promote unity in your the sacrifice that leads to salvation. Gordon B. Hinckley teaches that ward or branch. Unity can and must be developed every new convert needs a Church in each ward and branch of this, the responsibility. This may suggest that without the opportu- Church of Jesus Christ. My family and I have been blessed to nity to be part of the Lord’s work, the perfecting and edify- live in such wards. We have witnessed the good that ward ing process is incomplete and a precious soul may be lost. unity brings about in the lives of members and in the com- munities where these wards are located. Our Heavenly Father Sacrifice for the Kingdom and His Son, Jesus Christ, are one, even as we must become “Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.”5 It is also one. Let us, therefore, be fully committed as disciples of the true that sacrifice is the basis of love, and without love we Lord to become united as a church and as a people. ■ cannot achieve the unity that must exist in Christ’s true king- NOTES 1. Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. (1966–73), 2:313. dom on earth. A people as diverse as the membership of the 2. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee (2000), 65. 3. Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 1:422–23. Church cannot be prepared for Zion, or be truly “pure in 4. Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Priesthood and Auxiliary heart” (see D&C 97:21) unless “their hearts are honest, and Leaders (1998), 168, 202. 5. “Praise to the Man,” Hymns, no. 27. are broken, and their spirits contrite, and [they] are willing 6. Orson F. Whitney, The Life of Heber C. Kimball (1945), 64.

60 VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE

Feeling the Love of the Lord through Exercising Charity

rayerfully select and read “Perhaps the greatest charity comes from this message the scrip- when we are kind P tures and teachings that meet to each other, when we the needs of the sisters you visit. Share don’t judge or categorize your experiences and testimony. someone else, when we home that charity, Invite those you teach to do the same. simply give each other the Savior’s pure the benefit of the doubt love, never faileth. Moroni 7:47: “Charity is the pure or remain quiet. Charity So many Relief love of Christ, and it endureth forever; is accepting someone’s dif- Society sisters do great and whoso is found possessed of it at ferences, weaknesses, and good serving in their fami- the last day, it shall be well with him.” shortcomings; having patience with lies” (“Charity: One Family, One Elder Gene R. Cook of the Seventy: someone who has let us down; or Home at a Time,” Liahona and “It is part of the gift of charity to be resisting the impulse to become Ensign, Nov. 2002, 109). able to recognize the Lord’s hand and offended when someone doesn’t han- Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy: feel His love in all that surrounds us. dle something the way we might have “[Charity] is not developed entirely . . . Ponder with me a moment the fol- hoped. Charity is refusing to take by our own power, even though our lowing majestic gifts: the glories of all advantage of another’s weakness and faithfulness is a necessary qualifi- creation, the earth, the heavens; your being willing to forgive someone who cation to receive it. Rather, charity feelings of love and joy; His responses has hurt us. Charity is expecting the is ‘bestowed upon’ the ‘true follow-

MODELS of mercy, forgiveness, and innumer- best of each other” (“The Tongue ers’ of Christ (Moroni 7:48; em- able answers to prayer; the gift of Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May phasis added). . . . The purpose loved ones; and finally the greatest gift 1992, 19). of the endowment of charity is not of all—the Father’s gift of His atoning Anne C. Pingree, second counselor in merely to cause Christ’s followers to

Y CRAIG DIMOND, POSED BY Y CRAIG DIMOND, Son, the perfect one in charity, even the Relief Society general presidency: engage in charitable acts toward oth- the God of love” (“Charity: Perfect “As we try to deal patiently and lov- ers, desirable as that is. The ultimate and Everlasting Love,” Liahona, July ingly every day with fussy babies, purpose is to transform his followers 2002, 92; Ensign, May 2002, 83). challenging teenagers, difficult room- to become like him” (“Beauty for Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) mates, less-active spouses, or elderly, Ashes: The Atonement of Jesus of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: disabled parents, we may ask our- Christ,” Liahona, Apr. 1997, 46; “Real charity is not something you selves: ‘Is what I am doing really im- Ensign, Apr. 1990, 12). Y MATTHEW REIER; INSET: PHOTOGRAPH B PHOTOGRAPH REIER; INSET: Y MATTHEW give away; it is something that you portant? Does it matter or make a • How can you further acquire acquire and make a part of yourself. difference?’ Dear sisters, what you are the charity that will prompt you to And when the virtue of charity be- doing with your families matters! It love others as the Savior loves them? comes implanted in your heart, you matters so very, very much. Daily, • What can you do to overcome ■ BACKGROUND: PHOTOGRAPH B PHOTOGRAPH BACKGROUND: are never the same again. . . . each of us learns and relearns at uncharitable thoughts and feelings?

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 61 Building a Lesson from Teachings of Presidents of the Church

Struggling to prepare a Relief Society or Presidents of the Church volumes are personal resource Melchizedek Priesthood lesson? Follow books—as well as manuals—and they do not contain les- a few simple principles to build an son plans. So when you prepare a Teachings lesson, you inspiring, relevant lesson. are the architect as well as the builder. Y MODELS Designing Your Own Plan BY JAN PINBOROUGH This task might seem daunting—especially if you ost building projects begin with two things: a set haven’t had a lot of teaching experience. But designing of building materials—such as boards, nails, and your own lesson plan gives you great flexibility to “build to Mshingles—and a blueprint showing how to put suit” the needs of your class. And following a few simple the materials together. principles can make preparing an inspiring, relevant lesson

Building a lesson from Teachings of Presidents of the a task you can accomplish. REIER, POSED B MATTHEW BY PHOTOGRAPHY Church (the Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society Always begin lesson preparation with prayer. To all course of study) is another kind of project. You have build- teachers, the Lord has given a comforting promise, along ing materials, of course—the Teachings book, the scrip- with a caution: “The Spirit shall be given unto you by the tures, and your own and your quorum or class members’ prayer of faith; and if ye receive not the Spirit ye shall not testimonies and experiences in gospel living. But where is teach” (D&C 42:14). Praying for the influence of the Holy the blueprint showing you exactly how to put these materi- Ghost as you choose how to teach the lesson is an indis- als together into an inspiring lesson? pensable first step. It can make all the difference between Most other Church manuals do contain an outline an uninspiring lesson and one that will be a vehicle for showing how to teach each concept. But the Teachings of true gospel learning. Sister Karen Knickerbocker, serving

62 Sharing your testimony can help motivate class members to apply the principles you have discussed.

in the Micronesia Guam Mission, finds that her most valu- who must be prepared to answer every possible question, able lesson preparation is “constantly praying for the sis- think of yourself as a guide on a journey of discovery. Your ters’ ears and hearts to be opened for understanding.” role is not to give a history lesson or even a lesson about the Plan a discussion, not a lecture. “An effective Teachings prophet’s life. Nor is your job to create a lesson from other lesson is usually more of a discussion than a tightly struc- sources on the topic of your lesson found in the Teachings tured presentation,” explains R. Val Johnson, former man- manual. Your role is at once more simple and more pro- ager of core curriculum in the Church Curriculum found: to guide class members in discovering and applying Department. Instead of thinking of yourself as a lecturer to their own lives truths revealed by a prophet.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 63 “The scriptures add depth and insight to the discussion,” observes Rodrigo Durán of the Providencia Ward, Santiago Chile Las Condes Stake. Plan an attention-getting introduction. The first two minutes of any lesson are critical. It is usually during these 120 seconds that class members decide whether or not they will devote their mental energy to the lesson. To introduce one Relief Society lesson, Roxana San Martín de Seguel of the Providencia Ward, Santiago Chile Las Condes Stake, passed a mirror around and asked the sisters to tell what they saw in it. “A face,” said one. “A daughter of God,” said another. The class members were instantly involved, and the lesson began with a wonderful Asking questions Before class, read the assigned chapter spirit, Sister de Seguel recalls. to encourage class completely, marking quotations that espe- Select teaching methods appropriate for discussion is usually cially impress you. Often a chapter in the topic. Object lessons, thought-provoking more helpful than Teachings contains far too much material to questions, role plays, and many other giving a tightly teach effectively in one class period. Marking structured presentation. the quotations that seem especially important THE TEACHER’S will help you make your final selection of what RESPONSIBILITY to read and discuss. “The goal of gospel teaching Choose the quotations you will use for the today . . . is not to ‘pour lesson. These quotations will be the core con- information’ into the minds tent you will plan to cover in your lesson. The of class members. It is not topical headings in the chapter and the ques- to show how much the teacher knows, nor is it tions at the end can help you make your merely to increase knowledge about the Church. selection. In your planning, remember that you and the class members can spend time The basic goal of teaching in the Church is to discussing how the quotations apply to our help bring about worthwhile changes in the lives. Consider also that your assignment is lives of boys and girls, men and women. The not just to discuss a gospel topic, but to dis- aim is to inspire the individual to think about, cuss the given prophet’s teachings on that feel about, and then do something about living topic. gospel principles.” Find scriptures that support the topic. President Thomas S. Monson, First Counselor in the First Presidency, in Conference Report, Because the scriptures are the words of the Oct. 1970, 107. Lord, they bring His Spirit into the classroom.

64 THE STUDENT’S RESPONSIBILITY “Education—particu- larly spiritual educa- tion—is constantly techniques can create interest and stressed by the Lord. insights and experiences.” You might motivation to learn. For ideas on We cannot be saved in ignorance, but the also want to assign a class member teaching methods, see Teaching, No Lord can only reveal light and truth to us as to read part of the lesson in advance Greater Call (item no. 36123) or the we are prepared to receive it. And so it is and report to the class insights relat- Teaching Guidebook (item no. 34595). incumbent upon each of us to do every- ing to that topic. thing we can to increase our spiritual Apply, apply, apply. Applying lesson Bear your own testimony, and knowledge and understanding by studying concepts to real life is perhaps the most give others the opportunity to do so. crucial part of any lesson. It may also the scriptures and the words of the living Sharing testimonies can help your take the most thought and planning. prophets. When we read and study the students make the crucial step from But unless students make connections revelations, the Spirit can confirm in our learning to application. President between gospel truths and their own hearts the truth of what we are learning; in Gordon B. Hinckley explained that if lives, the lesson may remain merely an this way, the voice of the Lord speaks to teachers will speak from their hearts, intellectual exercise. each one of us. As we ponder the teach- “it will catch fire in the hearts of Vital Jonel of the Petit Goave ings of the gospel and apply them in daily those they teach.”1 living, we become better prepared to Branch, Haiti Port-au-Prince Mission, Encourage class members to study receive additional light and truth.” explains how using appropriate per- the lesson before class and to discuss Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum sonal experiences brings the Spirit of the Twelve Apostles, “Marvelous Are it at home afterward. A schedule into his classroom: “I ask for exam- the Revelations of the Lord,” Ensign, of reading assignments can help May 1998, 32. ples from the lives of the class mem- those serving in the Primary, Young bers. These stories edify, as well as Women, and Young Men organiza- inform and hold the attention of the class. An appropriate tions to keep on track studying the chapters at home. Those story, drawn from personal experience and confirmed by a attending the class might benefit from a reading schedule testimony of the heart, will help carry the message of the as well—and the suggestion that they study the lesson and lesson.” bring their manuals to class. It may be easier for them to Choose some questions ahead of time. You contribute to the discussion if they have their manuals in might consider questions that will help your front of them and are familiar with the material. They students think about how a principle may even find that they are more receptive to the applies to people in different circum- promptings of the Spirit stances. Consider choosing some of Object lessons, and more willing to share your discussion questions from those thought-provoking their own insights. You at the end of each chapter. One Relief questions, and role might also suggest that Society teacher says, “I like to ask ques- plays can be effective class members discuss the tions that can be answered at least in part tools in capturing class lesson with their spouse, by a particular quotation. If class mem- members’ attention. roommates, or friends bers don’t immediately offer their before and after class. That ideas, we read the quote to see way, they can continue to see implications for their lives. what the prophet has taught. His words often jog memo- Building Something of Eternal Worth ries, prompting class mem- Each time you plan and teach a lesson from one of the bers to share their own books in the Teachings of Presidents of the Church series,

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 65 FOCUS ON INSPIRED TEACHINGS

“Many of the inspired teachings of our you are building something of modern prophets are by seeking the guidance of the Spirit eternal worth. In a time when compiled in Teachings of Presidents through prayer, our knowledge of men and women need the steady- of the Church, our course of study for the Savior grows. We feel how beau- ing, anchoring words of God’s Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society. tiful the gospel is. And when we bear prophets as never before, it is The timeless doctrines and principles our testimonies to the people we your great privilege to build faith included in these books are fountains of teach, we are able to touch their in the Lord, to build understanding divine wisdom and guidance. Wise teach- hearts because the Holy Spirit testi- of His gospel, and to build strength ers in wards and branches will not substi- fies to each of them of these eternal of spirit to follow His teachings tute their own subjects and wisdom but truths.” ■ today. focus on these inspired teachings and their Jan Pinborough is a member of the application to current circumstances and East Mill Creek Fourth Ward, Salt Lake “Being a teacher is wonderful!” East Mill Creek Stake. challenges.” says Patricia Arancibia de Moya of NOTE El Labrador Ward, Santiago Chile Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of 1. Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley the Twelve Apostles, “Give Thanks in All (1997), 620. Vicuña Mackenna Stake. “If we pre- Things,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2003, 96. For additional help, see Dallin H. Oaks, pare to give a lesson in the right way “Gospel Teaching,” Liahona, Jan. 2000, 94–98; Ensign, Nov. 1999, 78–80.

In preparing to teach, LEARNING read the assigned chapter FROM THE PROPHETS completely, marking How have you benefited most from quotations that especially the Teachings of Presidents of the impress you. Church books? We are looking for ideas, suggestions, and experiences that will inspire others to enjoy fully the blessings of studying and applying these resources. Please send your submissions to Learning from the Prophets, Ensign, Room 2420, 50 East North Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3220, USA; or e-mail to [email protected]. Include your complete name, address, telephone number, and ward and stake (or branch and district).

66 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

him and see him face-to-face.” How Could I Sustain Him? Then the Spirit began to speak to By Irene Coimbra me: “You never saw Jesus Christ face- to-face, but you sustain Him.” had been a member of The Authorities—probably because they “Yes, but I know Him through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- knew I was a new member of the scriptures, which testify of Him.” I day Saints only a short while, Church. But the experience contin- “You can also know the prophet, and I was very happy. I arose early ued to disturb me. “How can I sus- even without seeing him face-to-face.” every Sunday to attend church with tain President Hinckley when I do “How?” my young daughter, and I knew I was not know him?” I wondered. “And how “By reading and pondering his being well fed spiritually. Then one can I possibly know him when I live in words. Pray for guidance from Heavenly Sunday I had a disturbing experience. Brazil and he lives in the United States? Father, and He will help you to under- It was ward conference, and when To sustain him, I need to know stand how to sustain the prophet.” our stake president spoke, his words were very special to me. Then he said, “Brothers and sisters, I would like you to raise your right hand to show that you sus- tain President Gordon B. Hinckley as our prophet and President of the Church.” All 50 or so members of my ward raised their hands— except me. The stake presi- dent then asked that we sustain the other General Authorities. Once again I did not raise my hand. or a long time Finally he asked us to I looked at sustain our local lead- F the picture ers. “Now I can raise my of the prophet. hand,” I thought. “I know these Suddenly I felt as leaders, so I can sustain them.” though I were right No one asked me why I had in front of him. not raised my hand to sus- tain the prophet and

the General DILLEEN MARSH BY ILLUSTRATED

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 67 And that is what I did. During the following days I read several of President Hinckley’s talks. I watched him and listened to him speak on videos, observing every detail I could about him and his teachings. And I prayed for understanding. Then one day as I was reading an article in the Liahona, President Hinckley’s words penetrated my soul deeply: “It is never too late to learn. I believe this with all my heart” Encircled by Her Love (“A Conversation with Single Adults,” By Ethelyn D. Graham Liahona, Nov. 1997, 22; Ensign, Mar. 1997, 62). I also believed with t was a bright, clear morning, and I to come see you this morning.” My all my heart and felt that it was not was preparing to give a bridal first thought was that there must be too late for me to learn. Ishower. I love giving parties—any some problem. I was the Relief Society For a long time I looked at the pic- kind, any time, any number of people. president, and I knew I must take ture of the prophet printed beside Why, then, couldn’t I shake this black whatever time was needed. his article. Suddenly I felt as though heaviness that kept threatening to Then Norma’s arms were around I were right in front of him. I looked reduce me to tears? A recent family me. She held me and told me how at his eyes—eyes that seemed to problem had brought my husband much she loved me. This dear woman speak of eternity. I looked at his and me many sleepless nights and had been quietly putting her arms face—which radiated peace. I had much despair, and we had been around sisters in need for a long time. studied his teachings and felt the pleading with the Lord for help. Many had recounted their joy at Spirit testify of them. For the first Although I had offered silent having her appear miraculously time I knew that I knew President prayers all morning, I could not sup- when they needed her most. Hinckley and that I could trust him press my anguish. Past experience Now I was encircled by her love and sustain him. had taught me that a kind Heavenly when I needed it most. The tears I Profound well-being enveloped Father could lift me from the depths had been fighting all morning ran me, and I felt a desire to raise my right when I was sufficiently in tune. But freely. But what had been tears of hand, not only in front of the mem- there was little time left before I desperation and pain now turned to bers of my ward, but in front of the would need to have pulled myself the sweet release that cleanses the entire world. Through the witness of together to look after my guests. soul and brightens the outlook. the Spirit, I could declare with com- Only an hour before the party, I Ten minutes later she was off down plete conviction, “I too sustain the looked up to see the Relief Society the walk, and I knew that an angel prophet.” ■ compassionate service leader coming had ministered to my needs that day. ■ Irene Coimbra is a member of the Jardim up the path. She looked at me for a Ethelyn D. Graham is a member of the Independência Ward, Ribeirão Preto Brazil Bountiful Fourth Ward, Bountiful Utah East Stake. long moment and said, “I felt I needed South Stake.

68 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

the child only after striking him with that my son was now running and Protect Me the car. He said the impact felt as if jumping through the halls. Suddenly, he had hit a brick wall. The collision he stopped his story, and his eyes on My Way destroyed his car and caused injury began to follow the leaps and jumps By Gloria Olave to his passengers. He told me he had of Abraham. He cried, “It’s him. It’s shut his eyes and thought about the him! It’s a miracle!” He looked at me lease don’t panic, ma’am, but little child lying on the street. and said, “I don’t believe in God, but your son was hit by a car on In his despair at reliving the ex- I’m going to tell you something. I hit P the way to school.” perience, the man did not even notice something very hard and strong. If The young woman’s words fell on my ears with the intensity of a bomb. he man didn’t Without stopping to think, I threw see my son down the phone, snatched my sleep- T crossing the ing little girl, and ran toward the street until his car school. I wept and prayed. had struck Abraham. Within minutes I was at the He said it felt as if school. There was five-year-old he had hit a brick Abraham, sitting in his classroom, wall. looking completely healthy, and telling me that he had been hit by a car. I looked him over, and although I could see no apparent harm from the accident, we took him to the hospital. When we got to the emergency room, we saw a man with his head down, sobbing. Someone must have pointed me out to him, because while the doctors examined my son, the distraught man nervously approached me and said, “I am the one responsible for hitting your son. I will take care of the expenses for anything that has to be done.” The man began to tell me exactly what had happened. He had driven through an intersection with a traffic light that was out of order and didn’t see the boy crossing the street in front of the stopped bus. He noticed

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 69 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

you believe in anything, be thankful, been admitted following an accident and then I closed the blessing. because a host of angels protected of some sort. The police had also After the blessing as Brother your little boy today.” been alerted and were on the look- Rosser and I walked to the car, I That was when I remembered the out throughout the city. expressed my concerns about feel- prayer Abraham had offered that morn- I said I would visit immediately to ing nothing other than to make the ing. He had a habit of saying very long see if the ward members could help request concerning the Holy Ghost. prayers, which included gratitude for in any way and to give her a priest- The more I dwelt on the matter, the everything from our distant relatives to hood blessing if she wished. She more my fear increased that some- the dishes on the table. But on this par- gratefully agreed. thing dreadful had happened to the ticular day he had been very brief and I quickly called the elders quo- missing husband. had said only, “Heavenly Father, protect rum president. By now it was after It was now past midnight. As me on my way to school.” 10:30 P.M. I didn’t normally like to Brother Rosser and I drove away, We later went to the site of the bother members late at night, but I felt impressed to drive through accident, and I saw with my own eyes this was an exceptional situation and a particular district of town rather the magnitude of the damage to the I knew I could rely on Brother Rosser than taking the direct route home. man’s car. A wheel was out of place, a to assist me. Brother Rosser agreed that we door was dented in, and the bumper When we arrived at the sister’s should follow the impression. was destroyed. But my little Abraham home, members of her family were After a few minutes we were had just a scratch on his elbow. there, and it soon became clear that halted by a red traffic light where I Although I know all prayers are not all that could reasonably be done to intended to make a left turn. At that answered so quickly or so dramati- help had been done. There was little moment what seemed to be a loud cally, Abraham is a living witness of to do other than to offer comfort and and distinct voice instructed me to the love and power of God. ■ perform the priesthood blessing. We turn right. The light changed to Gloria Olave is a member of the Paterson laid our hands upon this dear sister’s green, and I turned right. As we First (Spanish) Branch, Paterson New Jersey District. head and blessed her by the power of drove over the junction, I saw a soli- the Melchizedek Priesthood. But tary figure seated on a bench in a when I reached the point when one deserted shopping precinct. I pulled Missing! usually adds comfort and insight as over, and we got out of the car. As we By Christopher Alan Klein directed by the Spirit, my mind was approached the person huddled completely blank. I found myself against the cold, we called out the ate one evening shortly after I pleading with Heavenly Father for name of the missing man. He looked had been called as bishop, I some words with which I might bless up, and we recognized him. We had Lreceived a telephone call from her, while simultaneously examining been sent directly to him! a distressed member. She told me my life to see if some personal This elderly brother had fallen and her elderly husband was missing. unworthiness was acting as an been knocked out earlier in the day. He had left home to perform some impediment to divine communica- By the time we found him, he had errands and was long overdue. tion. After what seemed a lengthy regained consciousness but was in Tearfully, this sister explained that silence, I was at last inspired to ask pain and suffering from exposure to she had called all the hospitals in Heavenly Father to bless her with the the cold. We quickly called the Southampton to check if he had Holy Ghost in His role as Comforter police, summoned an ambulance,

70 and informed his wife that he had recipient would like to hear. Second, learned that at times the Lord does been found. a priesthood holder must always keep intervene directly to help, and we can After we had ensured that all was himself worthy to be called upon at sometimes be the means through well, Brother Rosser and I started a moment’s notice. Third, Heavenly which His help comes. I am grateful again for home. We reflected upon Father makes known His will in His for the many lessons of that cold, what had happened. We had been own time and way. Fourth, we need dark night. ■ specifically guided by the Holy to recognize the many ways in which Christopher Alan Klein is a member of the Southampton Ward, Portsmouth England Ghost. Our tears flowed freely. the Holy Ghost communicates to us Stake. I learned a number of things and to act upon those promptings that night. First, we should give only when we receive them. Finally, I the blessings we are inspired to give, not those we think the

distinct voice A instructed me to turn right. As I did I saw a solitary figure seated on a bench in a deserted shopping precinct.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 71 RANDOM SAMPLER

six brief sections or main ideas. week. By following the pictures on Primary Talks During the week, we reviewed the review sheet, she could easily re- each section, asking Madison to say, member the correct order and what from the Heart in her own words, what she knew. to say. Because we had listed main 2. Use visuals. We found visual ideas, we could consistently review hen our daughter Madison aids (a prop and pictures) for her to the wording with her. was three, she agreed to show during her talk, each illustrating 4. Practice. We arranged an ad- Wgive a talk in Primary. “I get a section’s key point. We also dis- vance practice in the Primary room, to talk in front of the kids,” she said cussed what each represented. where Madison learned how to use excitedly, “while you whisper in my 3. Make a review sheet. Using a the microphone and where to place ear!” But we knew she wouldn’t need table format, we made a column with the visuals. If rehearsing at the local to repeat our words verbatim. Here six sections, each showing a simple meetinghouse is not possible, prac- are a few tips that helped our daugh- drawing or scanned image of the vi- tice at home, reviewing a final time ter give her first talk in her own sual to be used. In the next column, before church. words: we wrote the main ideas (usually By preparing well for her first 1. Read and discuss. Early in the two or three simple sentences) talk, Madison gained the confidence week, my husband and I read and that Madison had ex- needed to talk in her own words. discussed articles from the Friend pressed during our Though she still needed me to whis- with our daughter. preparation that per a few things in her ear, she spoke From the information we read from her heart and with together, we organized the talk into the Spirit. Kimberly K. Welling, American Fork 31st Ward, American Fork North Stake

72 FAMILY HOME EVENING HELPS

helps all of us recall past honor. With these fun family events. If you don’t memories fresh on our have a scrapbook or baby minds, we then take a book, you can easily cre- moment to individually ate similar birthday spot- express our sentiments Family lights using yearbooks or about that person. It has Birthday Spotlights family photos or by simply been very heartwarming to Our family loves the Newsletters retelling favorite past hear my family’s expres- special birthday spotlights events from memory. sions of love and gratitude we periodically do for fam- Made Easy Next, we dim the lights for one another. We’ve ily night. Since birthdays s our family circle has expanded to watch family slides or generally done this activity often occur on weekdays video clips featuring the for our immediate family, and some members have when it’s difficult for all of guest of but at times we’ve also moved away, keeping in us to gather, we celebrate A invited grandparents and touch has become a challenge. Our on the Monday night closest others. In our home, birth- to the actual birth date. In solution? A family newsletter. It has day celebrations involve addition to traditional fes- proven to be an inexpensive, simple more than presents, cake, tivities, we spotlight the way to stay connected while simulta- and ice cream. We birthday guest by read- celebrate wonder- neously providing a lasting record of ing selections from his ful memories and our most important news. Motivation or her baby book, strong family and a little up-front organization can which contains infor- ties. mation through age 12. also help you get started. Thelissa Based on what we read, 1. Choose a format. Before present- Zollinger, the birthday person tries Willow Creek ing the idea to your family, determine Ward, Denver to guess how old he or Colorado Stake a few things first. How often do you she was when the event plan to publish—monthly, bimonthly, occurred. This tradition quarterly, yearly? How will you assem- ble your newsletter? Word processing and desktop publishing programs as newsletters also provide opportuni- 4. Establish deadlines. Our articles well as Internet sources often contain ties to share testimonies and appro- are due a week before publication, newsletter templates that make it priate faith-promoting experiences. but that may vary for your family. easier to format and cut and paste 3. Show the family a sample Keep in mind that articles sent via articles. You’re not computer savvy? newsletter. My first front-page article e-mail or saved on computer disk can No problem. Typing or handwriting talked about the possibility of doing speed the process. Otherwise, allow

AKER the information and photocopying the newsletter, including column ideas time to receive items via postal mail it serve the purpose too. and guidelines. Having the newsletter and to type any handwritten material, 2. Brainstorm article and column in hand helped my family feel excited if needed. ideas. To make the newsletter a fam- to participate. Depending on family Above all, enjoy creating your fam- ily affair, consider everyone’s talents resources, you may decide to mail ily’s newsletter! Don’t worry if you

; RIGHT: ILLUSTRATED BY BETH WHITT BY ILLUSTRATED ; RIGHT: and expertise. Articles might feature each newsletter, with family members don’t have many articles in an issue family updates; a calendar of family contributing to all or part of the ex- or if you’re late sending it out. The events; family home evening ideas; pense. Family Web sites may also be most important thing is that you’re gardening, cooking, and house- a good way to share your newsletter. helping your family stay in touch. hold tips; children’s artwork; and Or you may opt to skip a design for- Stephanie Yrungaray, Herriman Meadows

LEFT: ILLUSTRATED BY JOE FLORES BY ILLUSTRATED LEFT: poetry, to name a few ideas. Family mat and just batch e-mail text. Ward, Herriman Utah Stake

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 73 Schoolteacher Ross McDonald, a member of the Inwood First Ward originally from El Paso, Texas, admits to having reservations about

PHOTOGRAPH BY DON SEARLE BY PHOTOGRAPH rearing children in the city because of some of the prob- lems in public schools. While he sees many parents in the stake who find ways to deal with those public school diffi- culties, others choose to send their children to private schools. Still, he enjoys his teaching and leaves it to his wife to decide if she wants to stay. So far she does. Andrea McDonald, who grew up in the suburbs of Salt Lake City, The Manhattan New York Temple—which will occupy the top floors of this Church building— has come to love the vibrancy will be a U.S. $2 subway fare away for many New York City Saints. of Manhattan. A dancer and musician, she says there are more opportunities than she Church Blossoms in the Big Apple could ever have imagined. By Don Searle, Church Magazines And there will soon be a ew York City is the international financial institu- importing business. New temple, located in a Church- kind of place that tion, President Belnap came York City, she says, “is a very owned building across the Ndraws visitors. At a to New York nearly 18 years friendly place. It’s just a street from the Lincoln sacrament meeting in ago to study law. After marry- whole bunch of little neigh- Center for the Performing Manhattan, you might talk ing President Belnap and liv- borhoods strung together.” Arts, just west of Central Park. with a sampling of members ing in Manhattan for five There are many educational After the temple is dedicated and find that most see them- years, Sister Belnap thought and social opportunities for on June 13, Sister Larsen says, selves as temporary residents, of their life there as tempo- their children. “We like the “I can get on the A [subway] here only to begin or advance rary. Then she awoke one energy of the city. It’s home.” train, ride down to 59th a career. morning in 1997 thinking, “I Young Latter-day Saints in Street, get off, and walk to the But attitudes toward the like living in Manhattan. It’s New York City are a minority temple. It’s amazing just to city are changing, says all right if we stay and raise in their schools, but there think about it.” President Brent J. Belnap of our children here and send is strength for them in the The subway fare will be the New York New York them on missions from here.” Church. Ellen Comp, director U.S. $2. That compares with Stake, which covers the bor- Shortly afterward, her hus- of an afternoon television as much as U.S. $100 in ough of Manhattan. More band was called as stake program and a member of costs to travel to the next members from other areas president. the Manhattan First Ward, nearest temple in Boston, are putting down roots and Michelle Larsen of the says that the possibilities Massachusetts, President raising their families in the stake’s Inwood First Ward Mutual offers to her children Belnap says. city, and the number of native is originally from Louisiana, are “exciting.” She notes that In the past, one of the New Yorkers among members and her husband is from Latter-day Saint families in Church’s biggest challenges is also growing. Maryland. They came to the Manhattan cultivate friend- in Manhattan has been tem- President Belnap and his city when Sister Larsen, now a ships in the ward and stake in poral success among the wife, Lorinda, are examples of scientist studying the causes order to have associates with members, President Belnap the shift in attitude. Now sen- of tuberculosis, was begin- similar values, particularly for says. Many become successful ior vice-president and general ning her graduate work. their children. “We work at in business, law, or entertain- counsel for a division of an Her husband owns a book being friends.” ment and are often drawn

74 State of Illinois Expresses Regret

PHOTOGRAPH BY DON SEARLE BY PHOTOGRAPH for Expulsion of Saints By Elisabeth Liljenquist, Church Magazines delegation of Illinois a less-enlightened age in the government officials history of the State of Illinois Amet with Church lead- caused untold hardship and ers and members of the trauma for the community of media on 7 April 2004 to Latter-day Saints by the dis- officially express regret for trust, violence, and inhos- events that happened nearly pitable actions of a dark time 160 years ago. in our past.” The Canal Street (Chinese) Branch is one of seven units that Beginning in early 1846, The idea for the resolu- have been formed in the New York New York Stake since the approximately 20,000 Saints tion came from Chicago early 1990s, bringing the stake’s total to 12. were forced out of Illinois, Alderman Edward Burke which was the start of what while he was vacationing in away from Church activity. Dolores Zecca of the would become the “largest Utah with his wife, Anne, an “But the stronger the Church Manhattan First Ward, bap- forced migration in American Illinois Appellate Court gets, and with the temple tized in 1996, is one of the history,” according to Resolu- Justice. At a dinner with here now, we are going to be local members who grew tion 793 of the Illinois House Governor Olene S. Walker, able to retain more of these up in the area. A former of Representatives. Passed Alderman Burke heard about people.” stake missionary, she is with unanimous consent on the Church’s history in Members in the entertain- one of the Latter-day Saints 1 April 2004, the resolution Illinois from Governor ment industry, for example, on a committee to help to expresses regret for the mur- Walker’s husband, Myron. “I are challenged daily. Sandra strengthen the Church in der of Joseph Smith in 1844 am embarrassed to say that Turley, who performed the Harlem, where a new meet- and the ultimate expulsion of was the first time I learned role of the adult Cosette in inghouse will soon be built. the Saints from their beloved about Nauvoo and the details Les Miserables on Broadway, Last Christmastime she Nauvoo. of what happened,” said says those challenges can be was energized by a project The resolution recognizes Alderman Burke. “I thought met. Problems come when to help police collect toys that “biases and prejudices of that, number one, the people people lower their standards for needy children. A letter to perform on stage, she says. from the local precinct A performer can learn in commended Sister Zecca advance what a role will and Harlem member require and avoid ones that Herbert Steed for their may lead to compromise. work, adding, “This is an

When President Belnap example of the type of AIRS came to Manhattan, there positive interaction we were five units: four English- have begun to develop speaking wards and one and wish to continue.” Spanish-speaking ward. Now Sister Zecca looks forward the stake has twelve units, to “being able to go [to the including two Spanish- temple] as often as I like.” speaking wards, wards for She still recalls the first time: both older and younger “Oh, what a feeling!”

singles, a branch in Harlem, It is a feeling that she and COURTESY OF CHURCH PUBLIC AFF PHOTOGRAPH a deaf branch, and a small other New York City Saints Left to right: President James E. Faust and President Thomas S. Chinese branch that meets in hope to recapture again and Monson accept a copy of the resolution from Illinois Lieutenant an office suite in Chinatown. again. ■ Governor Pat Quinn and State Representative Dan Burke.

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 75 of Illinois ought to know copy to President Monson. “We view this resolution as in music, the site will help more about their own his- President Monson thanked an affirmation that Nauvoo is them in studying doctrinal tory; and number two, it’s a the delegation for their “kind and will always be a place of principles, conducting family travesty that’s gone on for words and this gracious ges- peace,” said President Faust. home evenings, serving in too many years.” ture. We’re grateful to you “We know that Latter-day Church callings, and teaching When he returned home, and the good people of Saints will always have a the gospel in many settings.” Alderman Burke spoke to Illinois,” he said. home in Illinois.” ■ The centerpiece of the site his brother, Illinois State is the Interactive Church Representative Daniel Burke Music Player, a tool that will (D-Chicago), about drafting Church Launches play, print, download, or a resolution. Ed and Anne transpose most of the hun- Burke showed President Interactive Music Web Site dreds of songs from Hymns Gordon B. Hinckley a draft of By Adam C. Olson, Church Magazines and Children’s Songbook. (A the resolution in March 2004. usic has long been Web Site (www.lds.org/ few songs from Hymns and At the 7 April press confer- associated with the churchmusic) as a resource Children’s Songbook had to ence, President Thomas S. Mgospel, from before for Church members, families, be omitted because of copy- Monson and President the foundation of the world choir directors, music leaders, right restrictions.) The player James E. Faust, First and “when the morning stars sang speakers, accompanists, and can play the music with or Second Counselors in the together” (Job 38:7) to the performers. without vocals. Users may iso- First Presidency, formally closing hymn of last week’s “The most important ben- late and play specific parts of accepted the resolution from sacrament meeting. Almost all efits of the new site will be a song—helpful in learning a Illinois delegates Lieutenant members have been affected spiritual,” says David Warner, part. The player also allows Governor Pat Quinn and by music somehow, whether director of the Church’s users to change a song to a Representative Dan Burke. as part of their worship Music and Cultural Arts divi- higher or lower key and even (President Hinckley, whose or simply as uplifting sion. “As the First Presidency print it out in the new key. wife, Marjorie, had passed entertainment. teaches in the preface to our Members can download away the evening before, In an effort to make the hymnal, music has the power any of the available songs was excused from the event.) blessings of Church music to move us toward greater with or without vocals as Ed and Anne Burke also more accessible to members, spirituality in our homes and MP3s. The songs are all attended the conference. the Church has created and families. Whether or not searchable by title, first line, On behalf of the State of launched the Church Music members have a background topic, scripture reference, Illinois, Lieutenant Governor keywords, or author’s first or Quinn expressed regret for last name. Information about the injustices suffered by the each song is available, as are early Latter-day Saints in quotes from current and past Illinois. “There was a day General Authorities regarding in February 1846 on Parley the blessings of good music. Street [in Nauvoo] where “The hymns and children’s people who were practicing songs present gospel con- their faith, people of good cepts in musical form,” says faith, were asked to leave the Diane Bastian, the Web site’s state and . . . move to another coordinator. “By including a place,” said Lieutenant variety of searches, the site Governor Quinn. “It wasn’t becomes a resource for par- right. We acknowledge it ents, leaders, and speakers to was wrong and express our teach the gospel through the regrets and look forward to hymns.” the future.” The site includes help for Representative Dan members who have a range Burke read Resolution 793 The Church’s new music Web site was created to provide a of musical experience from aloud to reporters and resource for Church members, families, choir directors, music basic to more advanced. presented a leatherbound leaders, speakers, accompanists, and performers. Suggestions are included on

76 selecting hymns for meetings, are guidelines and rules for Warner. “We think it will presentation is April 1 of adapting hymns for choral sending original songs and become a great resource for the same year. Entrants use, teaching songs to chil- hymns to the Church’s ward choirs.” will be notified in August if dren, adding variety to annual music submission. Macromedia Flash 7.0 their submission has been singing, accompanying Members can also print out is required to view most of selected. singers, and choosing easy-to- sheet music from a number the site’s content. Flash is Plays, musicals, readers’ play hymns. The Interactive of past submissions. included in many newer Web theaters, oratorios, and poetry Conducting Course provides “By including approved browsers. Older browsers may are welcome. Entries should helpful instruction on leading submissions, we hope the site be directed to download the be suitable for ward/branch music. will become a sort of living free software before being or stake/district use, teach Also included on the site choirbook,” says Brother able to access the site. ■ gospel principles in uplifting ways, be doctrinally correct, and be Church-oriented and accurate if historically based. Scripts should be a minimum of one act long. Submissions are welcome in all languages. Submissions should

PHOTOGRAPH BY LYNN HOWLETT LYNN BY PHOTOGRAPH include: 1. Two copies of the entry and any applicable music on 8 1/2 x 11 inch (22 x 28 cm) paper. 2. A statement signed by all contributors that says, “The work submitted, entitled ______, is my original work, is owned by me, and conforms to the submission rules.” 3. A cover letter with the piece’s title; author’s name, The Church is seeking scripts for dramatic and musical productions. This musical was part of address, phone number, the cultural celebration held in conjunction with the Anchorage Alaska Temple rededication. and e-mail address; central theme; synopsis; and cast Church Seeks Cultural Arts Submissions requirements. The names of all contribu- s part of the Church’s members’ creative talents a long time,” said David tors should appear on the encouragement that by providing an outlet for Warner, director of the Music cover letter, entry, and signed A wards, branches, devoted artistic expression and Cultural Arts Division. statement. Authors of pro- stakes, and districts plan and and to share gospel-oriented “They can draw people closer ductions accepted by the participate in more cultural works with other Church to the gospel.” committee may be asked to events such as dramas and units as they plan similar Selected submissions will grant the Church a nonexclu- dance and music festivals, the activities. The ultimate goal be performed—some in an sive, perpetual license for Church’s Music and Cultural is that Church members will abbreviated form—in the unlimited use. Arts Division is accepting cul- be strengthened in the Conference Center Theater Send submissions to: tural arts submissions from gospel and unified in fellow- in the days leading up to Church Theatrical Script Church members. ship through planning and October general conference. Submission, 50 East North By creating a year-round performing cultural arts While the division will Temple Street, Room 2082, submission process, the activities. accept submissions year- Salt Lake City, Utah, 84150- division hopes to accom- “The cultural arts have round, the deadline to be 6070, USA. For more informa- plish two goals: to awaken been part of the Church for considered for the October tion, call 1-801-240-6492. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 77 explosion, but Brother Uema members are showing love In an interview with In the News is grateful his life was spared. for each other.” Church News, President Eddy “Although I was very [shaken] A commemoration of the Bourdeau of the Port-au-Prince Spanish Members by the nightmare that I was organization of Relief Society Haiti Stake reported that Finding Comfort going through, . . . I broke for the Madrid Spain East Sunday services and stake and After Attacks into tears and thanked Stake was held on 13 March, ward business have mostly n the aftermath of the Heavenly Father that I was two days after the bombings. continued despite tension 11 March terrorist train still alive,” he wrote in an Stake leaders had considered between insurgents and sup- Ibombings in Madrid, e-mail to Church News. A canceling it in light of the porters of the former govern- Spain, Spanish members of physician, Brother Uema attacks, but decided to go ment. During the insurgency, the Church are gaining com- regrets he was unable to use ahead with it. “It was a great some Church meetings were fort from the Lord and from his skills to help other bomb activity. Attendance was cancelled. As of press time, the one another. victims. strong,” said stake president Haiti–Dominican Republic bor- Killing nearly 200 and One of the bombs deto- José Reina. “It was good for der remained closed, prevent- injuring 1,400 more, the nated at the Santa Eugenia the sisters to be together.” ing Haitian members from bombs exploded in several train station, located within a Approximately 34,000 Church attending the Santo Domingo commuter trains carrying few kilometers of the Madrid members live in Spain. Dominican Republic Temple. passengers into Madrid. Spain Temple. Though tem- Ángel Gómez, bishop of the ple operations were not dis- Missionaries Transferred; Vanuatu Saints Picking Up Azuqueca Ward, Madrid Spain rupted by the blasts, some Members in Haiti Continue after Tropical Cyclone Ivy East Stake, said that when he evening sessions were can- to Meet The lives of about 1,100 learned of the bombings, he celled the next day because of The Church pulled all 56 Church members on the immediately called his ward a national anti-terrorism rally. non-native single missionar- islands of Vanuatu, west of members who frequently use In an effort to help, a number ies out of Haiti in February Fiji, are finally beginning to the trains. He was relieved to of members also donated prior to the ousting of return to normal after tropical find that none had been hurt. blood. former president Jean- cyclone Ivy tore through the A member of another “The members are very Bertrand Aristide as intense southern and northern ward, Bitin Uema, was seated sad,” said Bishop Gómez, but civil conflict swept across islands. The storm, which not far from where one of he noted that the tragedy the Caribbean nation. The occurred on 26 February the train bombs exploded. has brought his ward closer missionaries were temporar- 2004, killed two people and Knocked unconscious by the together. “I have witnessed ily transferred to other caused major damage, with blast, he awoke in the wreck- love and unity among the missions. Native Haitian mis- winds up to 125 mph (200 age and was at first counted members. Our ward is big, sionaries remaining in the kph). All missionaries and among the dead. His hear- and the members don’t see country were transferred members were reported safe. ing was damaged by the each other much. . . . But the from unstable areas and con- Among the estimated 2,500 tinue to follow safety meas- families seriously affected by ures, avoiding crowds and the cyclone, 10 member fami- demonstrations and staying lies sustained major damage indoors when they feel it is to their homes, while the unsafe to be outside. homes of 62 other member Despite the deaths of families sustained less serious dozens of Haitians during the damage. The roofs of three unrest, no Church members temporary meetinghouses on US/ASSOCIATED PRESS US/ASSOCIATED have been reported harmed. the island of Tanna required Several member families’ repairs. homes were destroyed in Residents of the islands are northern Haiti, where fight- left facing potential hardships ing was most intense. There because of substantial crop has been no reported dam- losses. The Church has sent

PHOTOGRAPH BY ANJA NIEDRINGHA BY PHOTOGRAPH age to Church property. aid to the islands, including Workers and police search the debris of a train destroyed by Church membership in Haiti containers of clothing and terrorist attacks in Madrid, Spain. exceeds 10,000. medical supplies.

78 organize their personal and automatically or as directed family history electronically by a person tapping out the Comment on a personal computer and rhythm on any key. The price Call for Lending Support helps in preparing and track- is $5,950 for individual During Unemployment Articles ing ancestors’ names and purchase. “Helping Marriage ave you had an information for temple ordi- The Kawai L1-LDS Digital Survive Unemployment: experience in nances. Users can attach digi- Piano/Organ is a keyboard Seven Principles” (Ensign, which the hymns tal pictures or images of designed to provide accom- H Apr. 2004) struck a resonant have strengthened your original sources, print charts paniment for smaller groups, testimony, provided com- and reports, capture personal such as priesthood and chord in my heart. Jim’s fort in a difficult situation, notes about an ancestor, and auxiliary meetings, choir feelings, experiences, and or helped you learn a add research notes. PAF 5.2 rehearsals, sacrament meet- challenges in dealing with gospel principle? can be downloaded for ings with fewer than 50 unemployment were all too Please send your free from the Internet at people, or in the home. It familiar to me. We should be response by 15 August familysearch.org. includes 88 prerecorded open to lending our support 2004 to Ensign Editorial, PAF Companion allows hymns and children’s songs to those in our midst who 24th Floor, 50 East North users to create additional in its memory. The keyboard are faced with this and similar Temple Street, Salt Lake reports and charts from their is supported by a wooden situations. In our home, City, UT 84150-3220, USA, family history databases. pedestal. It costs $895 for home teachers and priest- or to cur-editorial- Using information from the individual purchase. hood leaders have been a [email protected]. user’s PAF database, the Local priesthood leaders great comfort. A concerned Clearly mark your submis- Companion software can also may request these items by Relief Society president was sion “Hymns,” and on top print narrative reports on an contacting their physical also there to lend encourage- of your submission, write ancestor in a book format facilities support team. The ment to our family. I have your name, address, tele- that includes pictures, notes, Kawai LH-1 is approved as an found great strength from phone number, e-mail and sources. PAF Companion alternative instrument to an my friends, both in and out address, ward, and stake is also compatible with ear- acoustical upright piano and of the Church, who remain (or branch and district). lier PAF versions (PAF 3, 4, may be provided for new in contact to give their sup- While we cannot and 5). The package of both meetinghouses. It is also port. Thank you, Ensign, acknowledge receipt CDs sells for $8.25 and is approved as a replacement for dealing with such an of individual responses, available at distribution instrument for an existing important topic. authors whose submis- centers (item no. 77065). upright. Bill Gaudette, sions are selected for Individual members may Shawnessy Ward, publication will be New Digital Keyboards purchase the instruments for Calgary Alberta Foothills Stake notified. If you would Available to Units, Members personal use by calling the like your manuscript Two new digital keyboards, Kawai America Corporation at Interest in Finances returned, enclose a self- suitable for use in Church 1-800-421-2177, ext. 358. ■ Lane V. Erickson’s article addressed, stamped meetinghouses, are now Church News contributed to on financial well-being (“Five envelope and allow up available. Both instruments these reports. Steps to Financial Well-Being, to a year. ■ are combination piano/organ Ensign, Mar. 2004) was excel- keyboards that never need lent and timely. However, tuning and can be played by Correction rather than paying off the Two Family History Products members with limited or no smallest debts first, I suggest Now Sold Together keyboard skills. The Castle Valley Pageant paying down those with the Personal Ancestral The Kawai LH-1 Digital in Castle Dale, Utah, runs highest interest rates. The File (PAF) 5.2 and PAF Piano/Organ is housed in a 29–31 July and 3–7 August more quickly people can pay Companion are now being cabinet the size, appearance, 2004. For more information off high-interest debts, the sold together as a single and weight of an upright on Church pageants, call more money will be available package. PAF is the Church’s piano. It includes 176 pre- 1-801-240-7800 or visit for paying off the rest. personal genealogy manage- recorded hymns and www.lds.org and click on Harold Lillywhite, ment software. It allows children’s songs in its mem- “Other Resources,” then Reedville Ward, members to capture and ory that can be played “Places to Visit.” ■ Cedar Mill Oregon Stake

ENSIGN JUNE 2004 79 MAKING THE MOST OF THIS ISSUE JUNE 2004 Worldwide Church on the Worldwide Web Accept Differences,” instructors who use these Do you have a special page 40. tools. See page 62. interest in the Church in Chile? Norway? Taiwan? You The Well-Schooled A Mighty—and Continual— can find out what’s going Heart Change on in the Church in specific Are you prepar- We might be converted countries by logging on to ing a missionary? through a single, heart- www.lds.org and clicking Preparing for a shaping event or a slow on the “Country Sites” link mission yourself? process, but holding onto in the upper-right corner of Wanting to teach that conversion is a lifelong the home page. The sites, a friend? You’ll find pursuit for all of us. See which are maintained valuable help in “Teaching “A Change of Heart” by Elder locally, offer news and from the Heart,” an inter- Gerald A. Mead, page 18. other country-specific Single-Minded view with Elder Richard G. information, as well as Married and single mem- Scott of the Quorum of Home Evening for Your links to resources on the bers may feel they don’t the Twelve Apostles and Less-Active Family Church’s main Web site. have much in common, but Elder Charles Didier of the You want Several sites have the gospel unites us no mat- Presidency of the Seventy, family home already been ter our background. Find page 6. evening, launched; an suggestions for bridging the but loved estimated gap in “Seeing beyond His Constant Help ones don’t 33 will be ‘Single,’ ” page 36. The Savior can respond share your completed to our requests for help by faith? Six key by the end Accepting Differences giving immediate relief, in- elements of 2004 with Our own attitudes creasing our capacity, or try- helped one several more toward people with cultural, ing our faith, Elder Flávio A. woman under way physical, or mental differ- Cooper explains. No matter involve every- for 2005. ences are powerful tools in what, He’ll never forsake one in her teaching our children, espe- us. See “He Knows Our family and GOSPEL TOPICS cially when coupled with Suffering,” page 14. strengthen her own convic- Activation, 25 Leadership, 62 the Savior’s example. As tion. See “Bringing Church Afflictions, 14 Love, 22, 40, 56, 68 Agency, 53 Marriage, 22, 25 Sister Gayle M. Clegg A Blueprint for Teaching Home,” page 25. Atonement, 14 Missionary Work, 6 explains, “We want to help Building a lesson from Charity, 61 Obedience, 6, 45, our children retain the Teachings of Presidents of Home Teachers, Church Growth, 2 53, 61 Comfort, 14 Optimism, 12 Christlike attributes of the Church can be simpler Visiting Teachers Compassion, 40 Parenthood, 25, 28 meekness, humility, and and more effective for Relief Find your monthly mes- Contention, 56 Patience, 48 compassion. We want them Society and priesthood sages on pages 2 and 61. Conversion, 18, Peace, 12, 18 45, 67 Prayer, 69, 70 to have hearts full of love Decisions, 53 Primary, 72 for everyone.” See Drug Abuse, 28 Prophets, 67 Education, 62 Protection, 69 “Teaching Our Faith, 12, 34, 62, 67 Repentance, 18 Children to Families, 28, 73 Restoration, 2 Family Home Sacrifice, 56 Evening, 25, 73 Selfishness, 22 Fellowshipping, 36 Service, 2, 34, 56, Forgiveness, 56 61, 68 Friendshipping, 48 Singles, 36 Hope, 12 Teaching, 40, 62, 72 Inspiration, 6, 28, 70 Trials, 14, 34 Kindness, 22, 48 Unity, 56

80 MAY NOT BE COPIED mon . . . and now, as ye are desirous mon . . . and now, Waters of Mormon, by Linda Curley Christensen Waters of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him” (Mosiah 18:8, 10). of the Lord, to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, . . . what have you against being baptized in the name Alma gathered and taught the people, saying, “Behold, here are the waters of Mor he world is getting worse, but our capacity to teach the gospel is

T improving,” explains Elder Richard G. BE COPIED NOT , MAY Scott. “We have missionaries for whom the gospel message is such a part of their very beings that at a corner bus stop they can give a one-and-a-half-minute overview, a five-minute overview. They are much better equipped to VER: PHOTOGRAPH BY JERRY GARNS JERRY BY VER: PHOTOGRAPH begin with individuals at whatever level they are on and to introduce them to the magnificent message of the Restoration.” See “Teaching from the Heart,” p. 6. UKE, POSED BY MODEL;UKE, FRONT CO POSED BY 4 24 06000 02249 24906 Jun 04 BACK COVER: PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHN L BY PHOTOGRAPH COVER: BACK 3