This move is a tactical one by the Government to try and reclaim student voters, not a godsend Ð PAGE 10

Issue 543 20p where sold

Top of the flops Paper fight Penis puppetry fails to arouse Tabloids and broadsheets in an Laura Davies on PAGE 36 all out war on PAGE 16

The Cambridge student newspaper 5 October 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk FEES SCRAPPED • Labour signals massive U-turn on fees • Attacked for putting spin over substance • Students unlikely to be better off

to win!” But a more cautionary note, Pav tested grant, resulting in a lower level of no promises over tutition fees. issue of top-up fees re emerge. David Sophie Morphet then argued that despite the promising tax. Andrew Oswald, Professor of Nick Fawcett, Campaigns Officer for the Palfreyman, bursar at New College, Judith Whiteley words, students still have to ensure that Economics at Warwick University, said the CU Conservative Association, told Varsity, Oxford, claimed that it is only a matter of “the government follow through” with contribution was likely to amount to a “Tuition fees are another stealth tax. Access time before the university will be forced Grants are to be reintroduced, and tuition reintroducing grants. CUSU’s Higher penny on income tax for graduates. In the to university is more about the ability to into charging them. He pointed to fees may be scrapped, in an overhaul of Education Funding Officer, Johsua long term, therefore, the scheme would be pay than academic ability.” Cambridge University’s financial vulnera- the government’s much reviled higher Reddaway, also reiterated the warning that self-financing. Lembit Opik, the Liberal Democrat MP bility too, suggesting that if it did not start education funding policy. the fight is far from finished: “It’s a really It is a major change in policy for the and spokeperson for Wales, Northern charging top-up fees it would risk loosing Estelle Morris, the Education Secretary, good thing, but we need to make sure that Government, as it will mean that students Ireland and Youth Affairs told Varsity in an its status as one of the world’s best teaching announced on Wednesday that mainte- this time they get it right.” pay for their degrees on the basis of their exclusive interview last night: “What they and research institutions to its American nance grants are to be brought back, cer- The give-away is not without strings. own future earnings potential, rather than have said so far is not a solution. Tony Blair counterparts. tainly for students from lower-income There are two funding models up for con- that of their parents. However, students would be a hero if he said tomorrow ‘We The reforms announced yesterday will families and perhaps for all. Student loans sideration, but both would require all and politicians remain cautious due to the were wrong. We shouldn’t have broken our not immediately address wider university will still be available for those who want graduates to pay a ‘graduate tax’ for up to Government lack of committment to the election promise about tuition fees. We’ll funding problems because revenue will not them. She admitted that “for many low twenty five years after their earnings push abolition of tuition fees. Richard Burgon, abolish them:’ Whether he’ll do this is be generated in the short term. Moreover, income families, fear of debt is a real worry them into the 22p tax band. The first pro- Chair of Cambridge Labour Students, doubtful. But if he did I’d be the first to as it is being considered for introduction in and could act as a barrier to higher educa- posal would make maintenence grants warned that “those who have to pay applaud him. The Prime Minister’s spirit is autumn 2003, it will be of limited comfort tion. I want to make sure that our future available to all students, paid off later via tuition fees under the present system willing but his budget is weak.” to current students, who will still be left reform tackles this problem.” the graduate tax. The second model, shouldn’t crack open their champagne bot- The timing of the announcement has with on average £12,000 worth of debt at Pav Akhtar, CUSU President said “after thought to be the favoured aproach, would tles just yet.” The “grant will definitely be also sent confusing messages to the student the end of their degrees. years of campaigning, students are starting retain student loans alongside a means- restored” but he highlights that there are population in a week which has seen the • Editorial - Page 10

News Features 6 ¥ Outlook 14 ¥ Listings 20-22 ¥ Music 26 ¥ Visual Arts 29 ¥ Film 34 ¥ Theatre 36 ¥ Sport 40 5 October 2001 2 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Huntingdon: Hard up or not?

Judith Whiteley let the company use the Bank of England’s facilities. Now that “the Campaigners against Huntingdon Life concern about financial stability has Sciences have poured scorn on sugges- been removed...orders for research tions that the animal testing laborato- have gone up enormously. The future ry is making a financial comeback. looks very positive for Huntingdon,” Natasha Taylor, spokesperson for the spokesman claimed. SHAC (Stop Huntingdon Animal SHAC, however, reiterated their Cruelty), told Varsity, “Huntingdon’s claims that cases of gross staff incom- losses have increased from £3.9 mil- petence, animal cruelty and the falsifi- lion in the first half of last year to £6.3 cation of research are rife at the million for the same period this year. Cambridge laboratory. They insist Any company that consistently loses that their campaigns will continue more money than it makes is going to until Huntingdon Life Sciences is shut the wall.” down and therefore are currently con- Her comments were a response to centrating on some of Huntingdon’s news this week that Huntingdon’s high profile customers, such as Shell. quarterly revenues are at the highest SHAC claim that many employees of level for four years. A spokesperson for companies associated with the Cambridge laboratory, who Huntingdon have silently expressed wished to remain anonymous, said support for their campaign by regular- “the company is in no danger of clos- ly leaking sensitive information to the ing down...and the underlying busi- group. ness of the company is extremely pos- However, Huntingdon’s spokesman itive.” insisted that it had “enormous sup- The spokesperson said that the port” from its customers and the local reported half yearly losses were entire- community. He also said that ly predictable after financial institu- although SHAC are “giving Shell an tions withdrew their support for the exciting time at the moment”, their company following a concerted and campaigns were no longer making an sometimes violent campaign by ani- impact. “More animals are killed at mal rights protesters. Huntingdon was Cambridge University than at saved when the government agreed to Huntingdon,” he added. Our Victory Cards cock-up lems that occurred last year, when Morris admits that CUSU may not Simon Mullet many colleges were only issued with a be able to afford the new officer, but is In an e-mail leaked to Varsity it has proportion of the University cards interested in pursuing the idea never- emerged that CUSU is investigating required. It had also been reported theless. He adds that it has not even creating a new paid position. This is in that students were having problems been agreed as to whether a committee response to the failure of CUSU to getting their university cards recog- will be set up to study the proposal. deliver on time the university and nised as genuine student ID outside of What can be ascertained is that CUSU CUSU cards to colleges, that are an Cambridge. The new cards should have found themselves in the same integral part of a student’s life at have overcome these difficulties but predicament two years in a row, and Cambridge. they too ran into complications that have yet to find a way to deal with it. Stewart Morris, CUSU Services have meant delays for students this Officer, admitted in the e-mail that he year. • Editorial page 10 was to blame, as he had not exercised significant “restraint” when passing on details to colleges concerning the arrival times of the cards. He added, “I’ve learnt the lesson that only when something has been delivered to CUSU should arrangements be made.” Morris asserts that the reason behind this is that CUSU sabbaticals are over- worked in the summer vacation. Burdened with getting to grips with the basic requirements of the job, such as typesetting and deadlines, he claims they do not have time to consider long term issues. Therefore, he believes that the extra time gained through the effi- ciency of having a permanent member of staff would be “of great benefit to CUSU.” Morris suggests that one way to rem- when he declared his fatwa on the edy the problems with the cards would Sophie Morphet Pakistani president. The fatwa was be to create a new paid post, to over- issued in response to Pakistan’s decision see the publications department, Following on from last weeks Varsity to support the United States in the “war which he currently runs. He argues exclusive, the investigations into Sheikh against terrorism.” In addition, he may that a new officer is needed to “co- Omar Bakri Muhammad have widened. be charged under the Public Order Act if ordinate” the six sabbaticals that begin The Crown Prosecution Service had he is found to have incited racial hatred. their terms at the “end of July, and by already investigating him, but this week The story has also been picked up by the end of September are expected to asked the police to take a “broader look” the national press, including The have become one of the two largest at his dealings. Independent. Their report comments on student publishers in Europe.” The Sheikh Omar Bakri Muhammad will the claims Sheikh Omar Bakri other being Oxford, where several now be investigated to see whether he Muhammad made over a talk he is part-time publication managers are has broken the Terrorism Act, by incit- meant to hold next month at Trinity employed. ing or supporting terrorism abroad, Hall. CUSU cards were reintroduced this year in an attempt to solve the prob- imagine. create.

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To register for this presentation, or for further information, visit www.pwcglobal.com/uk/mcs_graduates 5 October 2001 4 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk News in brief DEBT DEPRESSION ates,” while another boasted, “I definitely dent loans and tuition fees has affected money management would aid their bat- Foot and James Birchall expect to pay off my student loan quick- women more than men. “The University tle against debt. One Cambridge student ly.” James Cave, taking an M.Phil. in Counselling Service does take more calls reflected how problems arose from “fail- Anxiety over mounting debts is driving English, points out that many new stu- from women, including for problems ing to keep an eye on bank balances” and Mouth students to “pathological depression,” dents are “ignorant about the nature of related to debt.” Ms Ismail also said that “indiscriminate use of the Switch card.” according to a new book. the debt” and concedes that debt is now mature women students, with young Others cite summer jobs as “vital” to Researchers from Cambridge’s The book, compiled by academics from an “unavoidable consequence of obtain- children to support, are the group most checking financial outflow. Department of Zoology have shown Bath and Exeter universities, claims that ing a degree.” susceptible to financial distress within the Recent figures released by the NUS that Britain’s foot-and-mouth epi- academic results suffer as finances spiral Those pursuing lengthy courses, often university. reveal that a typical graduate will com- demic would have been over much ever further into the red. The study by in vocational subjects such as law and Although students almost unanimously mence working life with a debt of sooner if the slaughter and cull poli- economic psychologists reveals that stu- medicine, are hardest hit. It is suggested place the blame on the government’s £12,000. The book, Student Debt: The cy currently in operation had been dents who expect to run up large debts that for many undergraduates, debt is a decision to replace grants with student Causes & Consequences of Undergraduate implemented from the beginning. Dr through the course of their university “deterrent” from continuing study loans, many acknowledge that better borrowing in the UK is available now. Matt Keeling and Dr Brain Grenfell’s career are up to four times as depressed as beyond three years. While some students detailed model of the epidemic also colleagues who expect to owe less. are fortunate enough to secure profes- suggests that although vaccination Findings also suggest that females worry sional sponsorship to further their train- from the early stages of the crisis more about money than males. ing, others must delve deeper into the would have been advantageous, The book’s editors, Adrian Scott, financial abyss. One graduate, now self- prompt culling is more effective at Professor Alan Lewis and Professor funding her £6,000 Legal Practice limiting the epidemic. Dr Keeling Stephen Lea, also claim that many stu- Course at Staffordshire, frets, “It is diffi- said that even if the current culling dents are too optimistic about their cult to see how and when I can pay back policies and movement restrictions potential earning power, with 66% over- what I owe.” She adds that qualifications remain in place, “it is likely to be estimating future salaries. New under- are “no guarantee” of a good wage. some months before the disease is graduates, especially those at Britain’s A spokesperson from CUSU suggested eradicated from the UK.” ‘elite’ universities are overly confident that Cambridge students might be less that the clout of their course and institu- affected than those at some other univer- tion will prove of magnetic appeal to sities, partly due to the background from Campeace employers. When questioned, this year’s which many students are drawn. Debt freshers at Cambridge were adamant that remains, however, a central concern although student debt is a “looming among the university populace. Rally cloud,” it is nevertheless “temporary.” A Commenting on the gender issue, first year Trinity Hall student was in “no CUSU Women’s Officer, Alison Ismail CAMPEACE are planning a big anti- doubt” that employers are “queuing up said that females have a “natural debt war rally this Saturday. Since the round the corner for Oxbridge gradu- aversion,” and that the switch over to stu- 11th September, the Cambridge Campaign for Peace has been work- ing hard to gain public support for a “justice not revenge” response to the attacks in the USA. The group has Clinton held a vigil in Market Square every week since it was set up to protest against the bombing of Yugoslavia in Super water bus to Oxford 1999. It has since concentrated its effort on the sanctions against Iraq, power derived from water. Photo Saunders continues by saying that the Aisling O’Neil West Papua and depleted uranium. Sophie Morphet voltaic cells covering a 350-metre purpose of the project is to “demon- However, the past three weeks have colonnade at the West Cambridge site strate the future hydrogen economy” William Windsor and Chelsea seen an unprecedented number of The University is to spearhead a world will use daylight energy to split water in which the world’s energy needs can Clinton, future king and progeny of a people expressing their support and first in environmentally-friendly molecules. The hydrogen that is be met through sustainable means. former president, both matriculated signing a “NO to military action” transport. Cambridge is set to be the released will be used to run the buses, As it will produce its own fuel on the into the humble rank of Fresher this petition for Tony Blair. Campeace first place in the world to benefit from forgoing the need for climate altering West Cambridge site, Cambridge is week. Both will hope that the archaism collected more than 2,000 signatures an efficient, non-carbon based form of fossil fuels. The only waste products of unique in terms of the overall project, of institutions such as Oxford and St. the first Saturday after the terrorist public transport it was announced this the fuel will be water vapour, heat and though the scheme will see hydrogen Andrews will provide an environment attacks and Sara Payne, the group’s week, specially created buses will run oxygen. based buses in other city centres in which they will be protected from information officer, told Varsity that from 2003 between the University’s Colin Saunders, Project Manager for including London. Although in the the intense media scrutiny that has at least 800 more had been added yet to be completed West Cambridge the University of Cambridge Estate long run this system will be potential- hitherto pervaded their daily lives. each weekend since. The assembly site and the city centre, ferrying what Management and Building Service ly beneficial on a global scale, in the Alert spectators could spot an incon- point for the march is Great St. will be predominately staff, students (EMBS) says that it is “the next stage short run the costs are high. According spicuous Prince enjoying a swift half at Mary’s Church at 11am on Saturday, and local residents. in the evolution of transport.” It is the to Ben Madden, also of Whitby Bird Ma Bells, the favoured establishment 6th October In what Dr Shane Slater of Whitby pilot for a system that will hopefully and Partners, the initial expense of the among the St. Andrew’s glitterati. Bird and Partners, the consulting be used all over the world, slowing the buses will be around seven times as Meanwhile, Chelsea arrived, father in engineers on the project, deems “a depletion of carbon rich fossil fuels much as the equivalent carbon based tow, at University College Oxford. Budding revolution”, buses will be run on and the rate of global warming. Mr transport. The cost is expected to fall Chelsea, who majored in History at as the technology takes hold on a Stanford, will pursue her academic world-wide basis. The hope is that this career in the city of Dreaming Spires Entrepeneurs will put Cambridge in the enviable where she will take a two year Master position of being able to produce the of Philosophy in International The first ever students of cheapest and most sustainable trans- Relations. the Cambridge Entrepreneurship port long before anywhere else. Lord Butler of Brockwell, Master of Centre’s postgraduate course, ‘Basics The European Commission intends University College said “The college is of Building a Business’, recently cele- to give the scheme the maximum pleased to extend its links with the brated graduating from the course. research and development grant 2 Clinton family.” Chelsea’s transatlantic The twenty-five postgraduate stu- million Euros enabling the project to switch shadows that of her father who, dents and postdocs wrote, between go ahead. It has, says Colin Saunders, as a Rhodes scholar between 1968- them, thirteen business plans for been “99.9 per cent” confirmed, but 1970, took a course in politics. start-ups in the bio-tech, engineer- the final approval will not be While at Stamford, Miss Clinton was ing, IT and environmental sectors announced until the end of 2001. reputed to be distant from her peers. and several hope to develop these This will cover the actual cost of the Any such detachment may not be plans into real ventures. adapted buses, and at least some of the appreciated in the Oxford of today. This year’s ‘Basics of Building a photo voltaic cells. The rest of the One potential college acquaintance Business’ course starts on Tuesday finance is expected to be through pri- said “I’ve already asked her to my 9th October at 6pm. In the first term vate investment and the British gov- mate’s hip-hop night, but we don’t there will be lectures from some of ernment. reckon she’ll turn up.” Cambridge’s most successful entre- If the European Commission choice For Oxford, this Clinton coup will be preneurs. For more information and is, as is expected, Cambridge, both a sigh of publicity relief. Reeling from to register e-mail Jo Mills on town and university might be, as Mr the blows of controversy over dimin- [email protected] or visit Saunders terms it “very lucky”. One ishing standards and shameful disre- www.cec.cam.ac.uk thing is certain, the scheme can only gard for meritocracy, this media Compiled by: add to the university’s reputation as a bonanza may act as a catalyst for Louise Norton centre for pioneering scientific improvement at this stoic yet flagging research. institution. Judith Whiteley The collonade at the University’s West Cambridge Site Michael Winner, ex-Varsity Editor Be a Winner by joining the Varsity team

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The Cambridge student newspaper 5 October 2001 6 NEWS FEATURES www.varsity.cam.ac.uk We all need fictional healing Michael Phillips examines the surreal media coverage of the recent attrocities in the United States of America It started with the verb ‘sharking’ at the proceeded. McEwan talked of watching But soon enough the events became start of the article: that was the defining the unfolding news in a ‘voyeuristic’ fictional again, and not only in the moment. On Tuesday 18 September way, and unsettling as this may sound, sense that they were colonised by liter- after a period of only one week, the it is the most truthful account I have ary authors, but politicians helped largest terrorist attack in history had heard. The multitude of 24 hour news remove them from the realm of reality. become artistic property. A barrier channels, and the fact that terrestrial The rhetoric of a ‘war on terrorism’, could be erected again between our own TV devoted itself almost entirely to the adopted even by normally government- reality, and the massive events that had story, gave it the air of a staged event. sceptic newspapers such as the transpired. Many watched the second plane crash Independent, helped to take the pain The article quoted above was written live, and the event was replayed endless- away. This was no longer the act of by Martin Amis, and was published in ly. As pictures from different worldwide numberless, faceless individuals who the Guardian. When the most adjecti- news agencies flooded in, you could see could never be defeated as long as a vally imaginative writer of the last twen- the crash, the collapse, the aftershock, sense of injustice existed, but something ty years imposed himself on the events from every conceivable angle. The most which could be combated via the tradi- in New York it signalled the close of any harrowing pictures were those of the tional means of front lines and air attempt to break the news in an objec- ABC Network, the digital video tech- strikes. Bush’s statement of ‘we will tive way. All through the preceding nology rendering the second crash in bring them to justice, or bring justice to week, it was the literary authors who such clarity that it looked like a them’ has an unavoidable logic, where were filling the opinions pages of Dreamworks animation. The incident the only concepts which exist are ‘them’ broadsheets and tabloids alike. Ian was so massive, and yet so well covered, and ‘justice’, the latter inexorable, the McEwan, also in the Guardian, and that it all seemed surreal. Breaking news former cohesive and unified, and nei- Tony Parsons in The Mirror, raised the had never been covered in so much ther as simple as he tries to make out. prose above the normal journalistic lev- detail before, but satellite and digital Once again, language being used to els. ‘Death came from a clear blue sky.’ TV brought it home so well that the avoid the sheer incomprehensibility of The effect of all this was to turn this world had to adjust itself to a level of the problem. news story into a semi-fictitious event. information never before experienced. And what of the future? There is only Eyewitness accounts with references to As the days progressed however, this one possible route: Hollywood. “the shiny skin of the towers” served less sense of surreality swiftly disappeared. Everyone everywhere has commented to bring the events closer to us, than to Just as normal journalistic had to give on how like the plot of a film the whole give them an artistic, and thus unreal, way to the language of fiction, so even thing was. And the plot of a film it shall quality. This fictionalising could be seen this had to step aside for the power of become. Hollywood will have its as an admission that events of this mag- the image. When static, the moving pic- American heroes, and most of these, nitude cannot be conveyed in a normal tures were rendered far more shocking such as the emergency services, will sense. The fact that the term “epoch by the capacity to linger, to absorb the deserve their lionisation. But the prob- defining” has been used so often shows full tragedy of what had gone on. When lem with the posthumous fictionalisa- that these events, like a work of art, will frozen, it became possible to process all tion of events is that they can be rewrit- transcend our generation. To make the information which had previously ten, rather than simply written to bring sense of the chaos, we have to make it been arriving at incredible speed. The understanding. And in the rewrite, less real. broad strokes of the TV coverage could events can be rearranged, in order to This is not a strange statement, con- be broken down into chunks, the dark- bring not understanding, but dangerous sidering the manner in which the story ness of which created a painful whole. misconception. PLAYGROUND FAITH Hugh Collings says extremism is not only found in the Middle East Fundamentalism is the word on every- of running a young Protestant man on a by the UDA, recently warned that par- one’s lips at the moment. As soon as the bicycle down with her car. ents and children using that route would World Trade Centre had been attacked, it Images of girls as young as five or six be at risk from sniper fire. was more or less taken as read that it was being hailed with sectarian abuse have Like the attacks on New York, these the work of Islamic Fundamentalists. been beamed all over the world. But what events have been universally condemned. These Islamic Terrorists have been are the complaints of the protesters? They Father Aidan Troy, the chairman of the America’s Public Enemy no. 1 for some claim that their small community is Holy Cross Board of Governors has time now, their blinkered devotion to under siege. They say that systematic and warned that “Hate-filled sectarianism has their cause held up as a kind of perilous organised intimidation is driving them led to untold fear and distress to so many insanity. It would be easy to confuse out of their homes, and they simply must innocent people.” Even Billy Hutchison “fundamentalist” with “Islamic Terrorist”, take a stand in order to protect their civil said that the events at Holy Cross made but this summer an example of the ugly liberties. That intimidation is taking place him “ashamed to be a loyalist.” The side of fundamentalism has reared its is undeniable: it is a fact of a life in every premise of the protest does seem some- head much closer to home area of Northern Ireland where there is what absurd: the idea that those who When the school year restarted in interaction between Catholic and would orchestrate violence would need a September, a protest was mounted out- Protestant communities. What makes human shield (and one that lasts a few side the Holy Cross Primary School for this case different is that the protesters minutes a day) is a bizarre one. To com- Girls in the Ardoyne area of Belfast. The claim the intimidation is being orches- plain of senior Republicans taking their history of this protest stretches back sev- trated by Republicans who use the young children to school in the staunchly eral decades to when the original Holy girls as a kind of human shield, protecting Republican Ardoyne is equally strange. Cross school was burned down. The pro- them from community leaders and secu- What does make sense is the anger of testers, who live in the small Protestant rity forces and allowing them to infiltrate the Glenbryn residents at the intimida- community of Glenbryn in the largely the Protestant area. They point to the tion they are forced to endure. This is Catholic Ardoyne, say they are the vic- presence of Republicans amongst the par- causing them to lash out at the Catholic tims of intimidation, and that the trans- ents and claim that one of these figures community in the same way as the sui- portation of the girls to school is used as threatened to have Billy Hutchison, a cide bombers looked at the disastrous a cover for Republicans to infiltrate the local loyalist politician, shot. consequences of US foreign policy, and area. They are demanding that the girls be To demand the end of intimidation is lashed out at the American people. The brought to school by an alternative route something few would condemn. But the social injustices that exist in our world, through a nearby secondary school for increasingly vitriolic nature of the protests from the Middle East to North Belfast, boys. The protests have escalated to the in the first week of September won the are a disease, and the ugly faces of funda- point where 100 policemen and soldiers Glenbryn residents few friends. People mentalism that horrify the western world and 30 police vehicles line the road every worldwide were horrified by the sight of are symptoms. They point us towards morning to escort children and parents to grown men reducing young girls to tears what has to be done, but if we fall into the school. In the wake of the protest, there with chants of “Fenian Scum.” Hot trap of treating them as nothing more have been pipe bombings, death threats drinks have been hurled at children and than the deranged acts of extremists, we against the children’s parents and one parents, and the Red Hand Defenders, a risk failing to learn any lessons they have woman is currently standing trial accused pseudonym that has been used in the past to teach us. 5 October 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS FEATURES 7 BOOZE! It’s Pashmina politics SEX! FAME! must be going through. To look like today or tomor- all so, well, yuk, that it’s cool, cool, cool, Alex Lee this all the time, I mean. You row, thank or that’s what I think. I mean, my heart Michael Phillips know, in Africa, or in India, you very goes out to the dirty homeless dung “M’skeeneau,” she drawled, and it took or Asia, or wherever it is. much. eaters, but they simply don’t know just Ibiza, Ayia Napa, Crete, Bournemouth. me a moment to absorb what I had Anyway, the real point “It’s how much good they’ve done. Someone What do all these sun-drenched resorts heard. I had met her at some squash early is that, I mean, really should do something for them... to have in common? Ok, they are all Brit- on in the week and, was glad to have they’re SO tomor- thank them.” By now I was completely filled sick bins where you could kill your- found someone who at least looked inter- row, don’t you confused – it was like I’ve always imag- self after being told for a solid 138 hours esting. She was charming, well-spoken think? The closer ined living in a surrealist painting would that there’s ‘21 seconds to go!’, but what and really quite beautiful, but I couldn’t I get to the real feel. Reality seemed to have taken a else? Yes, they’ve all been the subject of help thinking that she looked like a thing, the bet- holiday, or eloped to some exotic documentaries, where camera crews fol- down-and-out. So would anyone: her ter!” Politely island with Reason. Where on Earth low groups of hormone filled youngsters, clothes were the colour of mud and nodding, I had this insanity come from? I had to in the hope that at least one will pull/be ditchwater, but still lookied dirty and lit- tried not know. “It’s a funny thing. Daddy, sick/get arrested/win a poetry reading erally torn to shreds. Bits of skin, tanned to tell her who’s really big in PR (so he should competition. Well, get ready to add to perfection from the summer’s last that I know), says that everything we Cambridge to that list, because the good sojourn, poked out here and there, and I wouldn’t thought we knew up to now has people at Anglia Television are planning wondered if her body was subconscious- want to crashed and burnt. He says that all to make a documentary about you! As ly trying to escape her filthy get-up. It wear we’ll be hearing about this year will part of a series about partying and people was while trying to disguise these any- be Afghan.” who like to party, they have chosen to thoughts that she surprised me with the thing focus on Cambridge University as a revelation that these tattered rages were, like hotbed of talent. in fact, designer, doubtless purchased that Now what they are looking for is a from some chic London boutique. “You either group of really lively characters that they see, I really want to know what its like,” can follow round while they go out on she continued, noticing my bemuse- the razzle and provide enough interesting ment. “I mean, they must go through footage to fill our TV screens. It can’t just simply too much. It’s, like, I’ve got to get be you and your mates who go out and back to my beastly nature, my primitive get pissed, apart from if you’ve got a side, to understand them. I’ve got to, if I supervision the next day in which case want to get the look right, haven’t I, dar- you just have half a shandy. Drinking ling?” societies who regularly go out should def- There was a brief pause as she siped her initely get in touch, and if you are a real- champagne, and I struggled to imagine ly tight group of mates who go out a lot, this particular person getting back to her then check it out as well, The Monty “beastly nature”. I had visions of her Python Society need not apply. Also give intrepidly exploring the vast and mys- it a whirl if you’ve got a really big event terious jungle of Sloane Square, or coming up. But not just your little broth- fighting her way along the whole er’s Barmitzvah. length of the King’s Road, The prospects are endless. The nation swinging from shop to shop on will finally get to see the joyous union of the end of a pashmina, but in blazered rugby lads and gym slip wearing the end none of the images hockey girls that is Life. The antics of rang true: the adventure might both groups, fuelled by pints of Guinness be too tiring and, heaven for- for the girls, and campari and soda for bid, the poor girl might get the lads, could make someone the next dirty. “I mean, when these Maureen from driving school. Come to things are SO in at the moment, think of it, most prop forwards look like and they’re SO good to wear, you her anyway. As do most of the girls in can’t help but think of what they drinking societies as well. Television is set to become a winner as well. Not only will they get to show the gorgeous likes of you lot in your best Marks and Spencer cardigan, they also get to televise all the little things about Cambridge r’n’r which make the place so special. Now your mates at normal uni- Funking with Sally versities will finally believe you when you tell them about formal hall. They’ll realise what a fool you look in a gown, Sally is back. Only this time she’s slightly less arrogant. And a different person. that a bottle of wine can be finished before the starter arrives, and that, if nec- Today’s world is an unequal one. Lad snaps closed. A minute later the bloke forehead: the poor fresher was ever so linate when he licks his finger and essary, it is possible to vomit the exact culture dominates and women are grabs his keys and whacks them hard nervous. And if I wasn’t disappointed smears it over my new white top, the amount required to fill a spare pint glass. categorically and institutionally on the gator’s head, who duly prized enough Mr Sleazy wanders over and filthy sod. “Let’s get you out of those All those things that make it worth the oppressed. I know I’m oppressed – I his jaw open. All’s well down under! dribbles, “Do you believe in love at wet clothes”, he moans. No qualms hours of pain and suffering you went haven’t had a bloke in ages. Not for But the guy gets cocky, saying, “I’ll first sight, or shall I walk past again?” here. Booted him right where the alli- through to get those grades, they can be lack of trying either. I followed Spice give £100 to anyone who’ll give it a (I suppose it’s better than the blokes gator don’t bite. shown to the nation, as an inspiration to Power: walked into a bar, saw a lad go”. Silence. Well, I’m only a poor from Grainsby. I had one who walked Out of luck in he college bar, I hap- children, showing the heights they can who took my fancy and told him to student, so I said, “I will, but you’ve up to me in a club, made sure I pened to be in a really expensive, acheive if only they work hard enough. make a woman of me. He replied by got to promise not to hit me on the noticed him, then nodded towards posh restaurant last week. It was full But anyway, there is surely enough asking me to wait up while he fin- head with your keys.” his crotch and said: “Well it’s not of financial business people, invest- beautiful, interesting people in ished his pints, puked, and got into a Returning to University after the going to suck itself.”) So, I was just ment blankers and management con- Cambridge to wipe the antics of Helen fight. Then I could wheel him home, summer is distressing enough, but about to advise Mr Sleazy to self-pol- vulsionists. One guy caught my eye, and Paul off of page 23 of the Star, so if shouting and swearing. And what after Edinburgh, where I did almost or rather he nearly bruised it with a you’re interested the person to get in con- would I get out of that, I asked him. nothing but plays and drinking, the champagne cork after bringing over a tact with is Alison Jennings, by telephone Self-righteousness, he replied. second year seems a bit of a mare. My bottle and smiling at me. Egged on by on 01603 752489, or by e-mail Luckily, there was some major com- mind is completely distracted. I the lasses I wrote him a note, “If you [email protected] It’s motion at the bar, otherwise I would mean, I still know that I do SPS, but want to know me, you need to have up to you to do us proud. have taken the trouble to thread his now I’ve forgotten what the letters two cars, £1m in the bank, and seven balls through a kebab spit. stand for. Worse still, Freshers’s Week, inches in your pants.” We thought it So, I look across and there’s a great and it is as if my Edinburgh panto was hilarious, only he sent the reply, big alligator at the bar. The bloke role is turning into real life. I feel like “I’ve got five cars, £2m in the bank, who has him on the lead announces, Snow White. This week I’ve been but not even for you, my dear, am I “If I put my genitals inside this alliga- chatted up by Mr Drowsy, Mr Sneezy, going to cut off two inches. I’ll have tor’s mouth, and they remain intact, Mr I’ve-got-a-very-high-pitched-voice, the champagne back.” you all owe me a drink.” Murmurs of and Mr Head-twitch. The latter was- Well, ho hum, the search for Mr approval. So he does! Drops his n’t so bad, only when it arrived to the He’ll-Do continues. Now, I’m off to trousers, opens those green jaws, kissing stage he kept on knocking go and suck my thumb, pretending shoves it in, and the creature’s mouth into my jaw and head-butting my I’ve never heard of Freud.

1 How to run a £2 billion business before you’re 30 I’m Gill Whitty-Collins. After graduating from Cambridge I joined 1 Procter and Gamble. Within eight years I was running a £ 2 billion P&G business as Marketing Director of Beauty Care, responsible for global brands like Max Factor, Pantene, Olay and Head & Shoulders. You might think that’s exceptional progress, but there are people all over the world like me who enjoy the freedom to develop as far and fast as their talents could take them. Don’t just imag- ine how. Let me give you a personal flavour of what makes P&G different. P&G: the fast track to leading a company. P&G Presentation: October 9th, 7.30pm University Arms Hotel

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HUGO BOSS 5 October 2001 10 EDITORIAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Weekly cartoon by Benedictus

False Dawn The announcement by the government that the failed experiment with stu- dent loans is to end is welcome news. The removal of the constant spectre of debt should help thousands of students to be able to relax and enjoy uni- versity life to the full. However, we should not be deceived into thinking that this is a great triumph, whatever the NUS or CUSU may say. This announcement is very much a triumph of spin over substance. According to the preliminary information received, it seems as though students will still end up paying for their university education. Whilst tuition fees and student loans may be a thing of the past, the introduction of a graduate tax will not leave the government out of pocket or you any better off in the long run. The information released suggests that students will start paying the tax once they have reached a certain threshold. You can bet your bot- tom dollar that this threshold will be very similar to the level at which stu- dents currently start paying back their student loans. This move is a tacti- cal one by the Government to try and reclaim student voters but definite- ly not a god-send. The Cambridge guide to CUSU Varsity journalists are constantly being asked by fellow students: what do CUSU actually do? Well apart from organising the Freshers’ Fair, they spend most of their time producing publications. CUSU proudly claims to be one of the two largest student publishers in Europe. They produce a bewildering number of publications every year: the Women’s Handbook, issued an invitation to Sheikh Omar erate, many thanks for inflating my ego. the Little Black Book, the Freedom Book, the Little Green Map, the Bakri Muhammad to speak to it, and If not, I offer the coincidence as proof Fresher’s Guide, the Cambridge Guide, the Welfare Book and the CUSU has no plans to do so. Indeed until your of the existence of God. Praise the Lord. Diary to name but a few. But now, as revealed in the news section, they are news item on 28 September we had not Chris Smith complaining about their workload and want to investigate the possibility of even heard of him. We do however King's employing a salaried publications manager. This comes less than a year after Freedom of speech encourage the teaching of Islamic and CUSU voted to appoint an extra paid sabbatical officer. CUSU officers are I too call for Sheikh Omar Muhammed related art to our students. Live in harmony to be silenced whilst simultaneously Dr Paul Binski The events of the past few weeks have not lazy, in fact we often see them in Trumpington Towers in the early trumpeting your support for freedom of Head of Department had a profound impact on people over hours of the morning. We are suggesting though, that much of their effort speech. Do the “limits to this liberty” the entire globe, of all races, colours, is misguided. The issues involved in these books, and therefore the publi- extend to everyone who holds views He did his best and creeds. Whether personally cations, do not need to change significantly every year and, therefore, it Varsity disagrees with? Sheikh Omar’s I would like to defend the reputation of involved or not, it makes us all re-eval- views may well be “disgraceful” but if the previous CUSU President, Mat uate the direction and meaning of our should be possible to print each of these books less often. CUSU have a ten- freedom of speech is not extended to Coakley, who came under attack in last lives. The scale of the horror in the USA dency to concentrate too much on producing glossy publications rather everyone, yes, even those with the most week's editorial for having 'promised a focuses our minds to rediscover the than concentrating on student issues. Pav and his ‘merry men’ should be distasteful opinions, there is no such lot in his time but delivered precious lit- important things we miss in the rush of thing as freedom of speech. By all tle'. everyday existing. As we enter a new speaking at JCR open meetings, not holed up trying to proof read pages. means protest outside the History of Varsity urges CUSU Council to reject any movements towards the creation Mat did not (sensibly) promise a term, let's put aside our differences to Art faculty to express your disgust at his union building by the end of his year, try to at least make our university a safe presence, but please credit your readers of another paid CUSU appointment and for CUSU to considerably reduce only to work hard to get one. He cer- and happy place where everyone is free the number of books it produces each year. with the intelligence to recognise the views of a hateful bigot. tainly came closer than any previous to enjoy the life we are so priviledged to Paul Martin president to achieving this aim. have. Alex Swallow Listen to the Students Churchill College On the Access Campaign, Mat Last week, Varsity reported that Chris Kelly’s draconian measures had failed ensured massive interest and a high Emmanuel to improve Corpus Christi’s academic standing. His ideas do have some turnout in the referendum to create the positive aspects. An academic room ballot for the most expensive rooms We need to know Access Officer post, and the benefits of Letter of the week Alarmed at the apparent spread of fun- that are already being felt. Congratulations on an excellent first would replace an allocation based on wealth, with a system based on intel- damentalism we feel that there are fur- While I welcome Varsity's confidence edition. I like the little tweaks you’ve lect. However, Varsity does not believe that Kelly’s measures work. This is ther individuals who need to be investi- in this year's sabbatical team, which I made: headers on each ‘focus’ page because his policies have alienated an astounding number of students. gated not least Lucianno Pavarotti share, our former President deserves especially. Front page headline: too sen- Their protests have been dismissed as “childish” and “perverse and irre- (front page TCS, 28/9/01) the spitting congratulations for his hard work and sationalist for my liking, but thank sponsible” by Kelly. Failing to listen to the student body is simply wrong. image of Omar Bakri (front page determination, rather than criticism for heavens for the three bullet-pointed Varsity, 28/9/01). Are they perhaps failing to acheive all of the highgoals he sub-points. Your editorials were VERY Moreover, the policies have failed. The college fell by ten places in the related? We should be told. set for himself. responsible I’m really pleased to read so Tompkins Table, a huge decline in the numbers of top grades. The Colleges Rudi Eliott Lockhart Stewart Morris thanks, again. that allow students to work hard and play hard have proved to be more suc- Jon Roiser CUSU Services Officer Pav Akhtar cessful when it comes to exam results. Emmanuel and Queens’ for exam- Glenda Newton CUSU President ple have a thriving atmosphere and have been at the top for some time. Jon Grover Spitting image Simon Elliston Ball This week, in one of your characteristic spasms of 'quality journalism', you fea- Varsity Publications Ltd History of Art denial ture a photo of myself, drinking, oppo- The winner of the Letter of Second Floor, 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge CB2 1QA On a point of information, the site a photo of my most famous (and the Week wins two tickets to Varsity Online: www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Department of History of Art has not possibly only) namesake. If this is delib- the Arts Picture House Advertising: 01223 353422 Editorial: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913

The Varsity Team If you would like to contribute to Varsity, turn up to a section meeting (times below) at the Varsity offices (unless otherwise indicated) or email a section editor Editors Julian Blake, Adam Joseph [email protected] News Editors Sophie Morphet, Judith Whitely [email protected] Mon 5pm Business Manager Ed Hall [email protected] News Features Editor Michael Phillips [email protected] Fri 5pm Technical Director Tim Harris Interviews Editor Natasha Grayson [email protected] Company Secretary Diana Tapp Science Editors Becky Burton, Gabbie Bradfield [email protected] Wed 6pm Fashion Editor Lucy Caldwell [email protected] Thu 1.15pm The Eagle Production Manager James Southgate [email protected] Outlook Editors Rachael Marsh, Anita Moss [email protected] Mon 5.30pm Creative Director James O’Connor [email protected] Sport Editor Nick King [email protected] Thu 5pm Jesus Chief Sub-editor Amy Frost [email protected] Photos Editor Sam Dobbin [email protected] Arts Editor Rob Sharp [email protected] News Photos Editor Kieran Drake Theatre Editor Gillian Carr [email protected] Sat 12pm The Bun Shop Sport Photos Editor Catherine Harrison Film Editors Will Bland, Kate McNaughton [email protected] Thu 5pm Sidney P’Ldg Online Editor Chris Waiting [email protected] Music Editors Louisa Thompson, Dave Thorley [email protected] Fri 4pm The Eagle Online Webmaster Richard Lee [email protected] Classical Music Editor Ben Ward [email protected] Fri 4pm The Eagle Page Design Chris Caulkin, James Hayton Literature Editor Sarah Savitt [email protected] Mon 3pm Sub-editors Naomi Leon, Alan Williams, Emma Baker Visual Arts Editor Vanessa Hodgkinson [email protected] Tue 5pm Emma P’Ldg Leaders like these start with an unfair advantage. So can you. All these leaders of global companies began their careers with Procter & Gamble. It’s not an option open to everyone. P&G insist on exceptional potential to start with, because we only promote from within. But it’s the way we allow talent the freedom to develop that gives you a head start in busi- 1 ness. Before you know it, you could be leading a £ 2 billion business for a global company, or even starting your own business. No need to imagine how - let our people tell you in person this October. It’s never too early to start gaining that unique competitive advantage. P&G: the fast track to leading a company. P&G Presentation: October 9th, 7.30pm University Arms Hotel John Pepper: Internships and Careers in Marketing, Customer Business Development Chairman of P&G Finance, Product Supply, R&D, I.T. and Purchasing Trained at P&G Mike Clasper: Deputy Chief Executive Officer, BAA Ex P&G Ann Francke: Vice President of Pet Care, Europe Pedigree Masterfoods Ex P&G

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Nice pair science ¥ 24 TABLOID V Broadsheet Nice er… mouse outlook interview 5 October 2001 14 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Take it easy Change of tone Whilst the streets of Cambridge can The Cutter, a nice riverside pub, and a Discovering the unexplored and unexpected always provide fun and frolics, as the fine place to stop for a late lunch. term wears on it’s likely that you may Whilst meandering back to the station, delights of change ringing Dan Birdwhistell want to get out of town, either to relax, consider popping your head around the to explore, or because you are just plain door of The Minstrel, which styles itself as Although we are nominally at university Saturday 13th October. It is a chance to Cheers, mates. (Did I use that cor- sick of the place and want to escape. the trendy bar in town. The interior is far to study, there is a massive range of extra- get a bit of space outside the university, as rectly?) You see, I’m the American Ely, a small Fenland town, only 15 more traditional than chic, but it is well curricular stuff to do which will expand, well because many of the ringers are locals. who has never been to another coun- miles north of Cambridge, may provide renowned for the sexy young things it rather than pickle the brain. Even better, The university guild also has a hand- try before. I’m the tall, skinny fella just the short break you need, away attracts from far and wide, but we are with such a variety of people within the bellman who organises handbell ringing in from Kentucky who speaks with a from the pressures of college life. talking a particularly good night in Ely university there is a society offering the the university, giving you the opportunity southern drawl and always opens the The main attraction of the town, is of here. opportunity to do pretty much anything to learn a new bell-ringing skill. As many door for ladies. I love steak and pizza course its cathedral, visible across the bar- Its worth spending an arts student’s day you want. This may involve hooking up people haven’t done hand ringing before, and country music (yet would burn ren fens from miles away. Dominating the in Ely (ie, wake up late, set off around 10, with people doing the same as you, but the handbellman is organising teaching my Garth Brooks if Method Man centre of town, it is well worth a visit, if finish around 3), as it’s a good place to perhaps you fancy trying something new. groups. asked me to); my father is a Baptist only to stare up at its magnificent octagon chill, and enjoy some old-fashioned coun- One of the more unusual societies with- There is no religious qualification for minister and my mother is in the from within, and admire its grandiose try air. Being such a quiet little town, it in the university is the Cambridge joining, not even church attendance is horse racing business (my family is a architecture from without. It is possible to also has the advantage that when it comes University Guild of Change Ringers. I am necessary, just turn up to the freshers’ paradox – don’t ask). My friends just take a tour around the cathedral area to heading home, you’ll feel ready to told most of those involved with the guild squash after the first practice of the term call me “Birdwhistell” or “Bird”. I through the old buildings of the experience the thunderous night life and have rung before they came to uni, but on Friday 9th October (7.30-9.00) in St played baseball, basketball, tennis, monastery (through prior arrangement), cosmopolitan aura of, err, Cambridge, all they are keen to encourage new members Bene’t’s, opposite The Eagle, or e-mail and golf as a kid and was miserable at and to admire the view from the top of over again! to join and discover the, often overlooked, Andrew Tibbets at [email protected]. everything but basketball – but I still the cathedral tower. Indeed, you can even Anita Moss joys of change ringing. The rarified nature kept coming back. If I could do any- get a great work out in the process by of bell-ringing means many people are not thing right now, I would go catfish climbing over 300 steps to get to the top. naturally inclined towards such an activity, fishing with a cute blond named Eva. Afterwards, it’s worth either stopping Getting there but it is an interesting, if obscure hobby to I always get gummy bears at the for tea and home-made pastries in Trains leave Cambridge station approxi- have. The guild use four towers in movies and sing “Walking in Steeplegate’s, next door to the cathedral, mately every half hour for Ely until 7pm, Cambridge regularly: St Bene’t’s, St Memphis” after a few glasses. or strolling through town. There you will and the journey is around 15 minutes. Andrew’s, the Catholic church and Great And I’m completely out of place find a number of antique shops and small Once there, the station is situated very St Mary’s. The focus of activity is Sunday here – yet, that being said, I also retailers, typical of such a historic near the town centre (and a huge Tescos mornings, when ringers usually ring for couldn’t be happier. Cambridgeshire town, and enough to incidentally, if you’re fed up of Sainsbury’s about an hour before Sunday services. I truly have no idea what to expect keep you occupied for an hour or so. narrow selection), and you can follow the Apart from that, the main function of the of this year. All I know is that I’m Worth noting, also is the additional brown tourist signs to the cathedral. The guild appears to be social. There are prac- studying Education and I live in a attraction of the Thursday craft market, if fare will cost you £3.60 return. tices on weekday evenings, where anyone dorm on top of a hill. I have a sink that’s what turns you on. who’s slacking is given training, but these in my room. It is a nice sink. I sur- Other than that, the centre of the town meetings generally adjourn to the nearest vived the plane ride and that miser- doesn’t hold much more in the way of Getting around pub afterwards. The nature of the guild able bus trip from Gatwick to attractions, apart from the odd museum As it’s not the largest of towns, you can means there is a limited number of people Cambridge. I’ve re-adjusted to the and a small ten pin bowling alley. explore everything easily by foot, indeed, it involved, but this does lead to a tight social time difference and learned to love However, a stroll by the river for a little would be quite impressive to get lost. group; the ringers organise halls, curries toast again. fresh air is well worth it, as it leads you to and even a Freshers’ Cycle Outing on And now I find myself writing a column. Writing is the only thing that is natural to me. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I began calling myself a writer. I was sitting in a Pizza Hut in Washington DC, read- E-View ing the first few pages of Great Gatsby Help! when, after taking a particularly large This week Jeremy Paxman answers our quiz gulp of Diet Coke, the fizz got to me Rachael Marsh tells us of a worthwhile cause and I quietly proclaimed, “Now, I am 1. Which was your favourite a writer.” Great story, yeah? Well, pub? Contact is a student-run organisation example due to M.S. Volunteers are your momma is a great story...or Favourite? I drank in loads of them, which describes itself as “The student asked to spend about one hour each something. Are Momma jokes funny from the Eagle, through the Mill to that visiting service for the elderly and week on a visit, but this can be varied here? If not, I’ll do my best to make one down by Magdalene Bridge. But house bound in Cambridge.” The stu- as appropriate. them such. the most hours were spent in the dent committee employs a Worker to Last year I visited a lady called Edith, So what will be the subject of the Anchor in Silver Street. deal with the day-to-day running of the and her sister, in Chesterton. Edith had columns to come? Probably a great 2. Where was your favourite charity, and he is also the main point of very advanced Parkinson’s, and sadly deal of nothing mixed in with tidbits place to chill out? contact for most volunteers. died recently. University is essentially a of something. I fancy I’ll span from Why did one need to chill out? Any Volunteers are given access to the lists very selfish activity, and it is gratifying critiquing the new flood of American more chilled and I’d have been an icicle. of elderly people, or others who are to give up some time to someone else. patriotism to addressing the question 3. Did you have a student incapacitated or isolated by illness, all I am not sure how much Edith appre- of “Top 10 Movies Ever?”. I’m sure anthem? of whom can potentially be visited. ciated my visits; she slept through most some large moments will be dedicat- No. Is it compulsory nowadays? Those on the lists are rated according of them, but this is not the case with ed to my weekend observations and 4. Have you ever been to to how challenging they might be to many of the others; Contact helps. why I am still, to this day, deadly Gardies? visit, thus someone who does not feel afraid of armadillos. A word or two Not only have I never been, I’ve never particularly emotionally strong would For more info visit Contact via the will most definitely be given to my heard of it, or them. Are they some not end up visiting someone in the University’s societies page, or drop into frustrations in learning to play the upmarket version of the Yardies? Or advanced stages of dementia. the Contact offices at 11-12 banjo. I’ll surely take the time to maybe I did, but if it was after an Some of the visitees are much Trumpington St between 1.30pm and explain the difference between a evening in the Anchor, I’m not sure I’d younger people who are unable to 4.30pm on weekdays to visit John ‘varmint’ and a ‘critter’ and provide have noticed. experience usual social contact, for Walker, the Worker. running updates on my search for Eva (the blond). Who knows. Time will tell. Yada, Answers to Freshers’ Issue crossword Yada-hibbidy, dibbidy-skip to the lou. Cryptic crossword: Across 1. Oyster 4. Deviance 9. Interact 10. Umlaut 11. So while I cannot tell you what to WHERE NOW? Ninja 12. Nowhere 15. Take-away 16. Yogi 17. Lima 19. Lothario 22. Bruiser expect, I can promise one thing: I will 24. Glees 26. Oracle 27. Marinade 28. Statisms 29. Thrown. Down 1. Onion 2. write, and will do so honestly. Such While the arrival of the summer vacation scatters Cambridge students thinly across Sit 3. Earmark 5. Vouch 6. Allergy 7. Establish 8. Scandalous 13. Weatherman is not only my duty, but also my com- the globe, the university itself gets around a bit itself. Here’s a few of the places it’s 14. Delirious 18. Apricot 20. Roguish 21. Oregano 23. Items 25. Skein pulsion. And I’ve got nothing to lose. been... So if I can pull out one reflective 1. BBC series, Ancient Apocalypse: Dr Gopal Madabhushi of the Schofield Centrifuge Quick crossword: Across 1. Ousted 4. Conspire 9. Osculant 10. Irenic 11. thought or cause a stitch or two from Centre took part in the series, and the episode on ‘Sodom and Gommorah’ was actual- Droop 12. Irksome 15. Rhetoric 16. Tart 17. Raja 19. Beckoned 22. Chignon that deep-belly kind of laughter, I’ll ly filmed at the centre. 24. Miser 26. Humeri 27. Scudding 28. Deferent 29. Accrue. Down 1. Ovoid be quite pleased with myself. I’ll 2. The Shell Eco-Marathon World Championships: The Cambridge team, ‘Team 2. Succour 3. Eclipse 5. Nails 6. Preempt 7. Enchanter 8. Antipodean 13. write home to “me mum” and tell her Crocodile’ took part in the race to use the least fuel over the distance of the race. The Knickknack 14. Burnished 18. Athlete 20. Nomadic 21. Dossier 23. Gripe 25. I’m now in the big league. gruelling race saw our team come fifth out of the British teams, and sixth overall. Rogue So until then, I’ll leave it at that. 3. The Botanic Gardens: The Vice-Chancellor of the university attended a ceremony Have a great week. Make up merry in the botanic gardens to celebrate town-gown relations on the 800th anniversary of the None of you were clever enough to have won a £10 voucher courtesy of Joti dances and kiss each other on the lips. existance of Cambridge town. In honour of the occasion a big cone pine was planted. and Debbie, the NatWest graduate advisers. Better luck this week! 5 October 2001 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 15

Cryptic Crossword Across 1. Judge gives recital, ironic reprisal (6,7) 5. Imaginary fish gives false impression EAGLE-EYED (3,7) 9. Soap rest, we hear (3) A pub so good, it could be ill-eagle 10. Is a mollusc gold in sunlit place? (8) 11. Oriental in sauna, sick with queasi- Reviewing restaurants in Cambridge is all an unsuspecting punter stumbles across ness (6) very well, but the reality is we are far more the ceiling decorated by the names and 13. Every moment in time beginners likely to spend quality time in a pub. Vital squadrons of RAF and USAF airmen who give out (4) to your comfortable existence in frequented the pub during the Second 15. Vigorously nose around at heart of Cambridge, therefore, is some knowledge World War. cunning (6) of the local pub talent. We begin with The Today, while admiring this masterpiece 19. Style within the Spanish coat (6) Eagle on Benet Street. This pub has of graffiti, you can enjoy the relaxed 22. Casualty ward running, spans eras entered into local legend thanks to two atmosphere of a proper English pub. At (4) eminent scientists, Watson and Crick – for lunch time there is a decent selection of 24. Moan that is unhappy, disconnec- it is to this drinking establishment that home-made, fresh pub grub; nothing tion from society (6) they headed to celebrate their discovery of more than a fiver. Later on they serve an 25. Thank after detraction, are bloody DNA. However, that was in the past, what evening menu of the usual chips, beans signs of faith (8) is the place like today? Well, it is difficult and sausages – salt-of-the earth stuff. The 26. Spanish blazer lost fashion without to get away from exciting past events in prices are also affordable, ranging from shirt (3) The Eagle; it has a long history which has £5.75 to £9.45 for a main course. The big 27. Papist clue decoded for petition (10) seeped into its atmosphere and is now cul- ‘But’ with The Eagle, however, is the cost 29. sit around after king and progres- tivated to encourage a genuine, traditional of the alcohol, which is expensive, at £2.35 sion, Robespierre! (13) feel. The pub proudly exclaims its date of for a pint of lager and £2.25 for a glass of Down establishment as 1525, and much has hap- wine. Although it falls down on this major 1. Cut into pears without quarter for pened since then. The pub is reportedly consideration, plus the fact that it is vegetables (8) haunted by a girl who burned to death in owned by Corpus, there is a cute little beer 2. Coward is in conservative university The Varsity crossword is sponsored by Joti and Debbie, graduate advisors at Natwest, who welcome freshers to Cambridge an upstairs room in the 1600s and now garden outside which is heated through- right (3) and wish everyone all the best for the forthcoming year. To win a £10 music/book voucher return either completed puzzle with your details to the Varsity offices by 12 noon Thursday. Answers to last weeks crossword on previous page won’t allow the window to be closed. But out the winter, and it is also one of the few 3. In India, begin calorie reduction with more recent events are in evidence too – places in Cambridge that did not buy its little thanks (8) Compiled by Sarah Clark passing through from the bar at the front design interior from a catalogue. 4. Earnings flooded tax centre (7) of the pub to the second bar at the back, Rachael Marsh 6. Artist and bungler (6) Quick Crossword 7. Red university in tormented ergo Across Down (5) 1. Firstborn right of succession (13) 1. Spouses, colleagues (8) 8. Mythical creature with direction 5. Directed backwards (astron.), degener- 2. Make silent, retch (3) gives information (6) ate person (10) 3. Protein assembled on this (8) 12. Bomb the French for beer (3) 9. Unit for comparing sound intensity 4. Small cavities, esp. of lung (7) 14. Indian liquid used for drink with- (10) 6. Heart (slang) (6) out doctor (6) 10. Drug in tobacco (8) 7. Of the kidney (4) 16. It pains injured player (7) 11. Dealer in woven underclothing (6) 8. Dig up (6) 17. Is skullcap in disfigured key mural 13. Islamic leader (4) 12. Pronoun, number (3) (8) 15. Item of clothing (6) 14. Unit of current (abbr.)(3) 18. Bumpkins left in harnesses (6) 19. Vomit inducer (6) 16. Attendant, novice (7) 20. Noisy, if shaken, charge before a 22. Noble gas (4) 17. Study of cancer (8) sheep, all served up (6) 24. Ships (6) 18. Tittle-tattle (6) 21. Wild meat in surgical dressing 25. Illusion, ghost (8) 20. Muscle contractions (6) which joins bones 26. Also (3) 21. Leniency (8) 23. Prepare for ambush (3,2) 27. One who walks (10) 23. Yellow/brown mineral pigment (5) 28. The French one’s garment (3) 29. At the same time as (13) 28. Close star (3)

outlook interview focus fashion science London Fashion Weak Warren Noronha’s catwalk show during thing”, and he has been quoted as saying by most accounts, failed to make any consistent use of sex to sell. The clothes the recent London Fashion Week com- that “a woman acts as a chameleon using meaningful or original comment on either did not come across as a celebration of prised models in tight, silky dresses which dress for empowerment”. His show, how- the liberation of women, the objectifica- women’s bodies, rather they conjured a were cut to reveal breasts bare and ever, was far from empowering. Noronha, tion of the female body or even on the picture reminiscent of the female cyborgs exposed, framed by ruffles, or at most cov- in films such as the 1980’s film Blade ered by a flimsy, gauzy and entirely see- Runner, in which the ‘perfect’ female form through piece of netting. Of course, nudi- was presented as smooth and pale with no ty in fashion shows is certainly nothing ‘Freudian’ bumps or crevices. A similar out of the ordinary – but what marked exhibition was that of Guvinder Singh, Noronha apart from any other designer entitled Guvinda in which the models was his glaringly apparent symbolism. stood in static poses on pedestals like pale, The show took place on a white circular smooth shop mannequins. catwalk circling a pool of still water. The One fashion writer and reviewer of models’ faces were plastered with a mask- Warren Noronha’s show gushed that it like, Geisha-style white pancake paint, was “defiantly modern…and downright their hair was slicked back, they were lit- sexy”. She was in a minority; others dis- erally faceless, a convoy of breasts – but missed the show contemptuously as “bot- breasts divorced from any sexual or mater- tom-numbing mediocrity” and one nal associations. They stalked the catwalk observer described it as “neither con- to the sounds of Aphex Twin’s frontational not titillating, just sterile and Windowlicker (1999), to which Chris cold”. Cunningham’s accompanying visuals – Noronha’s show was entitled Send in the both record cover and video – were the Clowns in reference to the Harlequin-like slightly surreal and vaguely disturbing make-up. That which sprung more readi- image of Richard Aphex Twin’s head ly to mind, however, was the sinister “It” superimposed on to the (barely) bikini- of Stephen King’s classic horror; the dis- clad body of a porn model. embodiment of the breasts – the most Noronha sees himself not only as a universal symbol of femininity – combin- designer but also as a painter and film- ing with the blank faces to produce a dis- maker – “fashion just happens to be my quieting sense of not merely concealment, chosen medium…it could have been any- but lack of emotion. outlook interview 5 October 2001 16 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Focus Natasha Grayson talks to the Charles Moore, editor of Britain’s biggest selling broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph High Priest of Toryism

t calls itself ‘Britain’s best selling quality Daily’. The Guardian calls it I‘the Tory Party in print’, and its edi- tor ‘the High Priest of Toryism’. I went to meet the editor of The Daily Telegraph to find out to what extent any of these titles were justified, and to see what Eton-Cambridge graduates who are also keen fox hunters are like when they are in their forties. On paper, Charles Moore is a flawless stereotype. Educated at Eton and Trinity, he is a staunch supporter of the Conservative party. He is against On paper, Charles Moore is a flawless stereotype. women priests and in favour of fox hunting. He supported Iain Duncan- Smith for Tory leader, and is currently preparing to write Margaret Thatcher’s official biography. Perfect, you would think, how fun this should be. And outside his office on the twelfth floor of Canary Wharf Tower, perched on the corner of a sofa, sipping sparkling spring water presented by a very dignified assistant, I see no chal- lenge to the stereotype yet. The man himself, when he emerges, is certainly Eton-charming. He apologises profusely for keeping us waiting, and stands aside to usher the two young ladies into his magnificent office, past Charles Moore, in his Canary Wharf office at the peak of his profession: “We were very un-career-oriented at Cambridge”. Photo: Angela Grainger the antique dark wood table and chairs and on to another pair of sofas. While n’t believe it, I was absolutely stunned more clearly well-qualified, but England, I think it does a better job like journalism; I’m interested in news we sit attentively on the very edge of our that this could have happened. Duncan-Smith was perhaps more likely than most people think it does.” and words. Politics is more constrained, sofa, he lolls casually across his, every “The other thing I couldn’t believe was to inspire trust.” So there was none of the reactionary and nowadays people don’t respect it as inch the successful professional for how much you got paid. I got paid But why is Michael Portillo not to be hostility that I was led to expect. Moore much.” whom the ride has always been easy. £8,000 a year, and I had honestly trusted? “The thing that influenced me is frustratingly calm and comfortable However he does move in the political Charles Moore enjoyed Cambridge. thought that the best possible job I a lot on this was talking to the Tory with himself, like all the best, elegant sphere, and is evidently proud of it. On The impression he gives is of a cosy, could get anywhere for anything might party members in the country. And I Eton gentlemen, and with all the right the wall of his office, above two photo- sheltered existence among those who pay me £4,500, so I’ve never felt so rich kept finding that they didn’t really trust persuasions to match. He is a family graphs of Margaret Thatcher, is one of would all naturally emerge as the lead- and successful! I did only have £14 left, him, they thought, ‘What way is he ing figures of their generation. “I did so it was a little bit desperate.” moving, what’s he on about, what sort “Margaret Thatcher’s very human. You this magazine, which was sort of a So Charles Moore was ear-marked for of a person is he?’” And what of his would-be intellectual magazine rather success right from the start. Knowing Peterhouse-related homosexual confes- might say she’s a jolly odd human, but than a topical magazine. It only the right people, being in the right place sions? “I think it was a mistake to talk appeared three times. It had some good at the right time. You see, these things about it, because it made it an issue. she’s very human.” people writing for it, like Dominic do not change. But from that point on, And that added to the confusion that Lawson who’s now the Sunday editor the natural progression for him was people felt about him. But I don’t think man, with eleven-year-old twins who go the Blairs on an aeroplane, with Cherie here. Oliver Letwin was an editor of it, deeper into the world of political jour- it was the fact of what had happened, it to “private day schools”. He is also an beguilingly asleep on her husband’s who’s now in the Shadow Cabinet, and nalism, and then further up its ranks. was the fact that he talked about it.” ardent huntsman, although he stopped shoulder. As Baroness Thatcher’s official Neil Malcolm who has become the great He was at the Telegraph from 1979 until So the claims about Moore’s political hunting for twenty years, but took it up biographer, he claims to be “very fond of expert on Bosnia and Kosovo.” But 1983, and then worked for and edited convictions are not proved wrong, but again specifically “because I thought it her”. He adds, “She’s very human. You despite where these people are now, they the Spectator before going back to the he glosses over them with a quiet confi- might be banned, so I didn’t want to might say she’s a jolly odd human, but apparently were not even thinking at the Telegraph in 1990. He has been the daily dence and authority, which will admit miss the chance”. she’s very human. She is excited and ani- time about how they would get there. editor since 1995. no attempts to extract anything Sadly, for all my angry disapproval, the mated, and that’s an attractive quality.” “We were very un-career-oriented. I On the subject of politics, reputation Guardian-juicy from him. The same Eton charm precluded any attack I It is clear from meeting Charles remember not knowing what a CV has designated Moore as not only applies to other subjects. “I didn’t think might have wanted to make on Moore’s Moore that he is genuinely more of a meant. I was always quite attracted to staunchly right-wing, but also fiercely it was necessarily wrong for women to sporting tastes. Irritatingly, it is that writer and thinker than a talker. Of journalism but I didn’t have a plan at opinionated and vocal to that effect. be priests, but I thought the Church of easy, well-bred charm which must to course, a man of a self-professed “very, all.” The Guardian claimed that he could not England was wrong to go and do it some extent have paved Moore’s obsta- very bluestocking family” is never lost So how did he get into it in the end? have endured Michael Portillo as Tory alone. If you want to bring the church- cle-free pathway to his roomy office for words, but he is not as fluent or “Indirectly, thanks to Margaret with its antique furniture. oiled as a politician. That is to his cred- Thatcher. I did the exams for the civil This is not to say that Moore is not it. But ‘the original young fogey’ cannot service in my last spring, and I got into “I do not want to be a politician, it’s more also good at what he does. With a circu- help but be an easy target for left-wing the final round, and then Mrs. Thatcher lation of one million, the Telegraph is mockery. He simply does not exist at won the general election and she froze fun being a journalist.” indeed the country’s biggest selling the ground level of society, nor could recruitment to the civil service.” The broadsheet. The Times, its closest rival, he. We said goodbye to him as he natural commencement of a lifelong leader because “he finds it impossible to es together, you need to act together, trails behind, despite having waged a breezed into the Savoy Hotel, having devoted friendship. countenance that a man who has admit- and if you do something controversial, determined “price war” for several years. given us a lift into central London in his As a result, Moore was “unemployed ted to sexual experiences with other men like ordaining women, by yourself when Moore is not jarred for a moment. “If chauffeur-driven Jaguar. for a few months”, apparently the only can possibly become leader of the party other big churches don’t, you make it you can keep being the best seller while High Priest of Toryism or not, he fits few such months of his life to date. His he so treasures”. But when quizzed on harder to unite.” all the time costing more than your matchlessly into his role. Those who good luck resurfaced when a friend this subject directly, he is considerably Moore himself was brought up an rival, you know you are winning. But we wish to set him up as a Tory scapegoat in introduced him to the then deputy edi- milder than expected. “It was clear that Anglican but converted to Catholicism, still have to go on fighting, because we the context of a newspaper ratings war tor of the Telegraph, Colin Welsh, at a Ancram and David Davis weren’t going because, he says, “I finally decided that not only must stay ahead, we must stay will continue to do so, but he is no less time when there was a vacancy on to be able to do it, and that Ken Clarke, the Catholic Church’s claim that it was well ahead, we must stay right on top.” pleasing to talk to as a result, and what- ‘Peterborough’, the diary column. though a fantastic man in many ways, the church that Jesus intended was true, His ambition seems always to pay off. ever we understand the role of Telegraph “Rather than go through the pile, they would be wrong. So it seemed to me to and therefore it was logical to be part of Has he never thought about going into editor to entail, there can be no doubt thought, ‘well he seems ok’, so they said, be between Duncan-Smith and Portillo, it. It wasn’t that I was hostile, in fact I politics? “I do not want to be a politi- that friendly Etonian Charles Moore is ‘would you like a job?’ And I just could- and of the two I thought Portillo was feel very friendly towards the Church of cian, it’s more fun being a journalist. I the man for the job. Focus WORLD EXCLUSIVE 17 SHIT STIRRER EXTRAORDINAIRE • DAILY STAR EDITOR PETER HILL CHATS ABOUT WHY TABLOIDS AND VARSITY ARE BETTER THAN ALL THE REST

in calling it a ‘newspaper’? “It’s definitely newspaper men because he’s just so very very expensive business. All the tabloid this is pretty good.” And the reputation it By NATASHA GRAYSON a newspaper. People have got this mistak- stupid. He’s much more interesting than editors are. And one of the biggest prob- has acquired for itself? Naturally, he en idea that a newspaper is only about Tony Blair, who’s a bit on the boring lems for tabloid newspapers is going to be approves. “Why shouldn’t you have a news, but actually it isn’t only about side.” the business of privacy. tabloidy newspaper? A university news- s we waited in the corner of news.” Oh right, now I see. I’m very glad Hill had lots more opinions on tap for “But the public has a complete double paper has to be controversial and the spacious if somewhat I had that cleared up for me. any person I could think of, and some standard as far as newspapers are con- provocative, and to some extent a bit tit- Aminimalist office, I tried to that I couldn’t. On Posh and Becks: “The cerned. Ask them in the street what they illating in a way.” predict how my first interview sub- Beckhams are not at all thick, they’ve think of tabloid newspapers, and they’d So what of The Cambridge Student, ject would behave. My instinct was Illegal exploited themselves beautifully.” On say ‘Oh, they’re deplorable, they’re dread- does that have its finger on the pulse of to expect someone friendly and Jordan: “I don’t think anybody owns her, ful, they print lurid pictures and say hor- what students want to read? “I would be obliging, if a little condescending. Honestly though, didn’t he feel a duty she’s a feisty and difficult creature.” On rible things about people’. But yet they asleep after about four or five pages. Too Well, he was a big important man, to offer people some ‘real news’? “I have Norman Wisdom (spontaneous, I didn’t still like to buy them and read them.” much text, boringly laid out. It’s awful.” wasn’t he? a hatred of the word ‘ought’. It’s incredi- ask him): “Hate! I hate you! You’re horri- So once we had got him into his pro- And there you have it - the professional Even though I looked upon his publi- bly patronising of some people” (like ble!” Yikes. fessional frame of mind, we asked him has spoken. cation as the lowliest type of tabloid myself, perhaps?) “to think that the the really important question. As a news- It was certainly difficult to reconcile the trash, I still recognised that there are British public ought to be fed a certain paper journalist, what do you think of man who emerged from the words with those in this world whose days are punc- diet of things. I think people should be Boring Varsity? “I the stony creature whom we first encoun- tuated by such deeply enthralling debates able to have what they want, provided it’s think tered. Throughout our meeting, he rarely as ‘The Battle of the Babes’ between not illegal or dangerous or anti-social.” Although he pointed out that this smiled. Maybe he was shy, I later rea- Helen from Big Brother and Charlotte A populist, then. To his credit, this man opinion was subsequently modified, soned. Somewhat difficult to believe. from Survivor. Indeed, the Daily Star, a certainly does not take himself too seri- it is still exemplary of Hill’s lusty Deadpan, I think, is ultimately the best subsidiary of Richard Desmond’s Express ously. “We like to take the piss. I think approach to the world. He calls word for him. Surprising for someone so Newspapers Ltd, is highly exulted in the it’s a great British trait that one can be Jeffrey Archer “contemptible”, yet lively in his outlook, so insistent on the eyes of my photographer Julian, for being self-deprecating. It suggests that we have when asked whether he should need for ‘fun’. But yet not impossible. the home of the Page Three model great humanity if we can make fun of lose his peerage, adds, “I think it’s Jordan. (No, of course they are not real.) ourselves.” good to have disreputable people This being the case, Peter Hill might well Furthermore, he is under no delusions in the House of Lords, otherwise Cheeky be a little proud, mightn’t he? about the significance of his particular everyone would be very boring. position. “Journalists are mercenaries in If he appears in the House of When asked about the skills needed to many ways - they move around, they can Lords and makes a speech people write for a tabloid, Hill cited “a lot of Arrogant work for different newspapers.” Hill him- will jeer at him anyway, so it will inventiveness, a lot of lateral thinking”. self used to work for The Daily Telegraph. be good fun. And he’ll provide Sadly, even after more than an hour in his The man who entered the room was So maybe the editor of a stupid news- more copy.” That’s what Hill presence, I still left his office in little short and bald and frowning. He said paper isn’t necessarily stupid. He certain- really wants, after all. “Stories doubt that I would never buy the Star nothing but simply offered a hand as his ly knows what he likes and doesn’t like. about people”, he says, “are more again. But yet, without necessarily assistant introduced him. An inauspi- On the one hand, he found university interesting than stories about respecting his work, one might admire a cious start, it seemed. He was apparently “hideously hard work, purgatory, mur- things.” man who professes his hobby to be “mak- not in a good mood; he was even more der”. On the other, he says, “I like my job But amidst all this fun, Peter is ing mischief”, and who has found a arrogant and dismissive than I had enormously. I like to cause a bit of trou- conscious of the more serious career whose vital expected a big (or small), important man ble.” responsibilities of his job. requirements he to be. What did he mean by this? “For exam- “I do try to be care- not only thrives on, We all know that looks can be deceiv- ple, John Major once said that I was ful about libel but evidently ing. As Julian and I made nervous small responsible for the Dangerous Dogs Act. because it possesses in talk and I berated myself for a ridiculous It was a particularly quiet weekend and I is a abun- ice-breaking comment about the train remember dressing up the Home dance. tracks below his window, he settled him- Secretary as a poodle on the front page. self down, and started to relax and talk. There had been a big spate of dog attacks As long as he is talking, I thought, we at the time and so I just had a big go at might be all right. We were soon to find the Home Secretary. Not long after that out that, contrary to first impressions, he they passed the Dangerous Dogs Act, really did like to talk. which many people think is the worst Peter Hill has been editor of the Daily piece of legislation ever created.” Star since 1998. He is very proud of his paper, and not at a loss for words to defend it against the likes of me. He says, Stupid “A big part of the Star is that it’s fun. If it entertains people and makes their day a So, gradually, as we talked, bit brighter then haven’t I done a bit of the initially elusive twinkle in good in the world? I’m a benefactor of Hill’s eye shone more and mankind!” more brightly. “I like taking Hmm. Well I could not immediately the piss out of people. I argue with this point of view. But on this thought John Prescott was basis, does Peter still believe he is justified God’s gift to tabloid Picture: JULIAN BLAKE

5 October 2001 20 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

TALK • CU Islami Society: Freshers’ THEATRE • Brain Mapping Unit: FRIDAY 5 • Cambridge Bird Club: illustrated Dinner, All Welcome, Admission • CAST’s Romeo and Juliet: Home £30 for participating in a talk “Winter Birds of the Silk Road” Free. St Columba’s Church Hall, off run of acclaimed US touring psychological experiment. Contact FILM Students welcome. St. Johns Downing Street. 7pm. production. ADC Theatre. Julia 336585. Addenbrookes • ARTS: 12.30, 3.00, 5.00, 8.00: Community Hall, Hills Road, • CU Karate Club: Free Demo. 7:45pm. Hospital. 2pm. Amelie (15). 10.40pm: Grease Cambridge. 7:30pm. £1 n.m. Beginners welcome. Wear loose • Romeo & Juliet: CAST presents • Samatha Meditation: Meditation (15). 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.15: clothing. Followed by squash. Kelsey the tale of young love and ancient classes in traditional buddhist Enigma (15). 10.50pm: Crouching THEATRE Kerridge, Fenners Gallery. 2pm. hatred. ADC Theatre. 2:30pm. meditation. No charge. Darwin Tiger, Hidden Dragon (12). 12.10, • CAST’s Romeo and Juliet: Home • CU Volleyball Club: Trials for all £4 – £7. College, Old Library. 8pm. 5.50: A L’Attaque (15). 1.50, 7.50, run of acclaimed US touring teams. Women 12noon. Men 2pm. 10.45: A.I. (12). production. ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. See http://www.cam.ac.uk/ MUSIC societies/cuvc/. Kelsey Kerridge. • www.cambridgesalsa.com: MISC 12am. SUNDAY 7 Salsa dance night with pre-Club • Brain Mapping Unit: £30 for • C.U. Hispanic Society: dance class for all levels. participating in a psychological SATURDAY 6 – SQUASH – FREE FIESTA with FILM Class 7–8pm Club till Midnight. experiment. Contact Julia 336585. Sangria,Kalimotxo,Mate,Hispanic • ARTS: 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00: Sophbeck Sessions, 14 Tredgold Addenbrookes Hospital. 2pm. FILM Food and Latin Music till late! Amelie (15). 12.45, 5.45, 8.15: Lane, off Napier St. next to • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night • ARTS: 12.30, 3.00, 5.00, 8.00: Pembroke College, Foundress Court. Enigma (15). 3.00: Elektra (15). Grafton Centre. 7pm. Experience’ – meal + entertainment, Amelie (15). 10.40pm: Grease 6:15pm. 12.10, 5.50: A L’Attaque (15). Class & Club: £4. followed by Culanu Oneg. The (15). 11.00am: International Velvet • MethSoc – Methodist Society: 1.50, 7.50: A.I. (12). Student Centre, 3 Thompsons Lane. (U) (Kids Club). 12.10, 5.50: A MethSoc welcomes new members with • Christ’s Films: ONE NIGHT AT TALK 7:30pm. L’Attaque (15). 12.45, 3.15, 8.15, Pancakes and games. FREE FOOD! McCOOL’S Starring Liv Tyler and • MethSoc: “New Beginnings”. • Hughes Hall Ents: Free welcome 10.45: Enigma (15). 1.50, 4.50, Newnham College, meet King’s or Matt Damon. Christs College, Rev Peter Graves talks on bop featuring free cocktails and 7.50: A.I. (12). 10.50pm: Newnham plodges. 6:30pm. New Court Theatre. 8pm & Christianity and students. cheesy music. Hughes Hall, Bar. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon • The Pembroke College Winnie- 10:30pm. £2. Wesley Church, nr Christ’s Pieces. 9pm. (12). The-Pooh Society: Freshers’ • St John’s Films: Crouching Tiger, 12am. • Salsa Classes with Nelson Elevenses Meeting – including TEA Hidden Dragon. 7:30pm and Batista: www.cambridgesalsa.com MISC and CAKE!!! Pembroke College, 10:15pm. St. John’s College, Fisher THEATRE Abs beg/imp:6–7.30pm. • Brain Mapping Unit: £30 for AA20. 2pm. Building. 7:30pm. £1.80. • A Tale of Two Cities: Int/adv:7.30–9pm. St.Columba’s participating in a psychological • www.cambridgesalsa.com: Salsa Groundbreaking adaptation of Hall, 4 Downing Place (opp Crowne experiment. Contact Julia 336585. dance classes. Absolute beginners: MISC Dicken’s classic novel. Plaza). 6pm. £5 (£4 students). Addenbrookes Hospital. 2pm. 6-7.30pm • CU Scientific Society: Squash and ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. £7/£5. Music • Cambridge University Family Intermediates/advanced: textbook sale, includes free alcohol, • CAST’s Romeo and Juliet: • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime Society: Michaelmas Term lunch 7.30–9pm. No need to book. St find out about upcoming talks. Home run of acclaimed US touring recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. and AGM. Wolfson College, Dining Columbas Halls, 4 Downing Place, Trinity College, Junior Parlour (via production. 1:10pm. Hall. 12:30am. CB1 Opp. Crowne Plaza. 6pm. £4. Whewells Ct). 7:30pm. ADC Theatre. 7:45pm.

CU G&S Society FOOTLIGHTS BRICKHOUSE announces FEMALE SINGER invites AUDITIONS THEATRE COMPANY For the Week 7 and 8 AUDITIONS seeks band announces APPLICATIONS ADC/Footlights Pantomime The Scarlet Pimpernel for ‘Our Country’s Good’ & for Production Team posts on: Singers! Comedians! Actors! Dancers! ‘3 Birds Alighting on a Field’ (all styles) AUDITIONS ALL WELCOME for CANDIDE Bring something to sing if you like DOUBLE BILL by Leonard Bernstein Sunday October 7 Auditions to be held in: A week 7 production of the THE SORCERER 11am–3pm • ADC Theatre Stage THE ANGEVIN ROOM, QUEENS’ Weill / Hart / Gershwin 3am–6.30pm • ADC Dressing Room Saturday 6 October 1:30 Ð 6:30 Telephone: by W.S. Gilbert & Arthur Sullivan Monday October 8 Sunday 7 October at 10 Ð 4pm Musical Which will be playing in rep at 11am–5pm • ADC Theatre Bar 01223 505951 Contact Rachel Grunwald (rfg23) for further info Contact: Beckie Mills (rgm30) for details The Arts Theatre, Week 7, Lent Term ‘Lady in the Dark’ APPLICATIONS Saturday 6th October Anonymous Players 11am – 6pm are invited for announces present AUDITIONS JCR, Sidney Sussex • DIRECTORS AUDITIONS AUDITIONS • PRODUCERS for week 5 mainshow ‘A Midsummer Sunday 7th October • MUSICAL DIRECTORS & ‘White Socks & Stilettos’ for a week 6 production of 10am – 5pm • ASSISTANTS to the above Auditions to be held on: BLUE HEART Night’s Dream’ Music Room, Robinson Two separate production teams will Sat 6th & Sun 7th October be appointed Saturday 6 October, 2 Ð 6pm & Bring something to sing if Sunday 7 October 2 Ð 6pm 12–4pm 8th Week Cambridge/ Please apply to Anna Hobbs on ah295 ON THE FITZPATRICK STAGE, Chetwynd Room, King’s College you want or at Newnham QUEENS’ COLLEGE Contact: Angela ab335 or London Fringe/ Contact: csw32 or btw24 for by Saturday 13 October Contact: Katie (keg28) for details Tigger srg32 National Tour more details GAMES ROOM, ROBINSON MADHOUSE October 6th & 7th, 1–5pm presents AUDITIONS for ‘SHAKERS’ No previous experience by John Godber – A play for four females necessary AUDITIONS: Winstanley Lecture Theatre,Trinity – Saturday 6th 2–5pm CONTACT: New Hall (room tba) – Sunday 7th 2–4pm Ed (emdr2) / Rose (rs335) Crew also required Contact: EJB47 for further details.

CU G&S Society Pembroke Players invites Week 7 Main Show APPLICATIONS SARAH KANE’S for the posts of Director and Musical Director for their Phaedra’s Love Mich Term Freshers Show ~ AUDITIONS ~ IOLANTHE Sat 6th & Sun 7th October – 2-6pm by WS Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. Pembroke College Room N7 To be performed in Week 7. Applications from freshers welcome! Contact: Dan: das49 Contact: Anna Hobbs ah295 or at Newnham www.pembrokeplayers.org by Saturday 13 October 5 October 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk LISTINGS 21

THEATRE MUSIC MONDAY 8 TUESDAY 9 • Far Too Happy: • Tokyo Geidai Sinfonia Youth THURSDAY 11 Footlight’s spectacular 2001 tour Orchestra: Part of Japan 2001 FILM FILM show returns. Perrier best newcomer Festival. Ticket details 01223 FILM • ARTS: 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00: • ARTS: 1.30: Bullets Over nominees. ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. 336142. Emmanuel United • ARTS: Amelie (15). 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, Broadway (15). 4.00, 6.30, 9.00: £4–£7. Reformed Church, Trumpington 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00: Amelie 9.15: Enigma (15). 3.00: Hiroshima Amelie (15). 1.10, 6.50: A • Footlight’s Smoker: Street, Cambridge. 7:30pm. (15). 3.00: Medea (15). 7.00: Le Mon Amour (18). L’Attaque (15). 2.50, 8.50: A.I. The bravest and best of Cambridge • Trinity College Music Society: Mepris (15). 1.45, 4.15, 9.15: 5.00, 6.50: A L’Attaque (15). (12). 1.45, 4.15: Enigma (15). University’s comedy talent. ADC Midweek Recital: Christopher Enigma (15). 1.10, 6.50: 12.10, 8.50: A.I. (12). 9.15: Sullivan’s Travels (U). Theatre. Whitton plays Trinity’s world-famous A L’Attaque (15). 2.50, 8.50: 11pm. £3. organ. Trinity College, College A.I. (12) MISC MISC Chapel. 8pm. £4, £2, £1 • Christ’s Films: • Belly Dance: • Brain Mapping Unit: £30 for (members). PULP FICTION Belly Dance for regulars. Powerful participating in a psychological Classic Tarantino. Christs College, form of self expression. King’s experiment. Contact Julia 336585. WEDNESDAY 10 TALK New Court Theatre. College. Addenbrookes Hospital. 2pm. • CU ISLAMIC SOCIETY: 10pm. £2. 7:30pm. £Concs. • CU Ballet Club: ‘Improvers’ Ballet Understanding the Qur’an, All • Rainbow Network Cambridge: • Brain Mapping Unit: Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpartick FILM welcome. Pembroke College, New Meetings with remarkable men – £30 for participating in a Hall. 6pm. £1.50. • ARTS: Cellars. 7pm. video about Gurdjeff’s spiritual psychological experiment. Contact • CU Ballet Club: Jazz Dance Class 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00: Amelie journey. Bharat Bhavan (Old Julia 336585. Addenbrookes — beginners level. Kelsey Kerridge, (15). 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15: THEATRE Library), 117 Mill Road, (foot of Hospital. 2pm. (+£2.25 entrance to KK). 8pm. £1. Enigma (15). 1.10: A L’Attaque • Far Too Happy: railway bridge). 8pm. £2.50–5. • Cambridge University Riding • The Globe Cafe: For international (15). 7.00: La Haine (18). 2.50, Footlight’s spectacular 2001 tour • St John’s Films: Malèna. In Club: Squash. Downing College, students,relaxed and informal chat, 8.50: A.I. (12). show returns. Perrier best newcomer association with CU Italian Society. Party Room, (below the bar). coffee, cakes. Emmanuel College, • Churchill MCR Film Soc: nominees. ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. St. John’s College, Fisher Building. 7:30pm. O6 New Court. 7pm. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon £4–£7. 9pm. £1.80. • Kettle’s Yard: Student Squash (also late show at 11pm). • The Fletcher Players: Art, drink and music. Kettle’s Yard. MUSIC Churchill College, Wolfson Hall. ‘Fallen’... a bittersweet play by Polly MISC 5pm. • The Cheese Factory Jam 8pm. £2.00. Teale. McCrum Theatre, Benet • Brain Mapping Unit: Sessions: Jazz/Funk Jam session. Street, next to Eagle pub. 7:45pm. £30 for participating in a MUSIC Local session/professionals and MISC £4 / £3. psychological experiment. Contact • CU Opera Society: Chorus students jam night. The Man On • Brain Mapping Unit: • Tony Ponzi Presents: Julia 336585. Addenbrookes Rehearsal for ‘Maschinist Hopkins’. The Moon, £30 for participating in a Candid, brutal and occasionally Hospital. 2pm. All singers welcome, no auditions. See www.thecheesefactory.co.uk. psychological experiment. Contact honest account of the music • CU Ballet Club: ‘Beginners’ Ballet Churchill College, Recital Room. 8:30pm. Only 2 quid (1 quid for Julia 336585. Addenbrookes industry. Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick 7:30pm. players). Hospital. 2pm. ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3. Hall. 7pm. £1.50.

… welcomes expressions of interest from singers, instrumen- Party Party talists, technical crew, conductors, and directors at any time. It CADS Main Show Party is especially keen to hear from singers and instrumentalists 5th Week interested in becoming involved in the following productions KAMBAR in Michaelmas Term. ¥ Glück, Orpheus and Euridice. 20 October at 7.30 pm Robinson Chapel AUDITIONS Available for Birthdays; Contact Ð Madeleine [email protected] Private Parties; Student ¥ Max brand, Machinist Hopkins. 18 November at 8 pm, Churchill College, 25 ‘Ecstasy’ Societies and all other November at the Queen Elizabeth Hall, London. Contact Ð Peter [email protected] functions. CUOperaS Squash: Wednesday 10 October 2001, 8 pm, Chetwynd Room, King’s College. by Mike Leigh With an excellent www.cam.ac.uk/societies/cuops (Writer of ‘Secrets and Lies} atmosphere and a central and ‘Abigail’s Party’) location, Kambar is the Sat 6th & Sun 7th Oct first choice for party YOUR 11am to 6pm hosting in Cambridge. For any booking or Jesus College enquiries, ’phone: heart Library Court with meditation Seminar Room 01223 842725 and Buddhism MONDAYS in term-time ALL WELCOME 01223 357503 at the Knox-Shaw Room, CU Meditation and 7.15-8.30pm: drop-in SIdney Sussex College meditation instruction Or call into The Cambridge Tea-room Buddhism Society Contact Liz: eef20 - NO CHARGE - 8.30-9.30: going deeper on Wheeler Street enquiries: 01223 577553 or [email protected]

ADC Late Show – Week 8 Week 7 JCDS & Naughtygang Student of Comedy Late Show Productions are auditioning for the musical Occultism Seeks women (good sense RETAIL ROCK of humour essential) looking for fellow seekers to for Part-time Temporary work for students at the Sat 6th Oct – Jesus College possibly form group Writing, Acting and University of Cambridge Development Office. 1-4pm possibly Success The only term time job approved by the University. Musical Director also wanted. E-mail: We offer: [email protected] Contact: Contact: Catriona Laing Attractive rates of pay starting at E-mail: chl30 • Tel: 526 668 [email protected] £5.85 per hour, with attractive incentives. Sessions are held 5.30Ð9.30pm weekdays, Activated Image and with occasional afternoons. AUDITIONS Excellent work experience and comprehensive AUDITIONS The Preston Society paid training. Eve of Retirement for SATB Pop/Jazz Choir David Mamet Fun working atmosphere! by Thomas Bernhardt We need: CADS 6th Week Main Show Saturday 6 Oct. – 2.00pm-5.00pm Oleanna Sunday 7 Oct. – 2.00pm-4.30pm Articulate, lively students with excellent spoken English Sat 6th Oct – 9.30am-1.00pm The Old Library, Emmanuel College AUDITIONS to telephone alumni on behalf of the University. Sun 7th Oct – 2-5.30pm (and production assistant applications) Students who care about the University and would Trinity College, Junior Parlour We are also auditioning for a pianist Sat 6th & Sun 7th Oct – 12–6pm like to help its development efforts. to accompany the choir in some APPLICATIONS FOR: Trinity Hall Lecture Theatre rehearsals and all concerts. Producer, Publicist also welcome. Contact: Jonathan at jas97 or CONTACT: For more information, contact: For details and to apply, contact in the first instance Gilb Fletcher on: 07779 264 394 or (7)66196 or [email protected] quoting ref: LT2001 Yascha YM221 • 01223 327640 Tjarda Roberts at: [email protected] Simon sjg63 5 October 2001 22 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

• Dances of Universal Peace: Heart • Tokyo Geidai Sinfonia Youth Orchestra: Part of Japan 2001 • Jet Photographic centred. Chant, movement & Orchestra: Part of Japan 2001 FRIDAY 12 Festival. Tickets 01223 336142. Remember! Last term’s photographs meditation from various spiritual Festival. Ticket details 01223 Emmanuel United Reformed Church, can be seen at our studio in Botolph traditions. Bharat Bhavan (Old 336142. Emmanuel United MISC Trumpington St 7:30pm. Lane or go to: Library), 117 Mill Road, Reformed Church, Trumpington • Brain Mapping Unit: £30 for www.jetphotographic.com www,cam.net.uk/home/aaa315/ Street, Cambridge. 7:30pm. participating in a psychological THEATRE dances/. 8pm. £2.50–5. experiment. Contact Julia 336585. • Far Too Happy: Footlight’s • Play Guitar – Play Saxophone! • PdOC (Post-Docs of Cambridge): TALK Addenbrookes Hospital. 2pm. spectacular 2001 tour show returns. FREE consultation Join us for a drink in the bar at the • Kettle’s Yard: Lunchtime talk • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night Perrier best newcomer nominees. Call 365276 or e-mail: University Centre. 6-8pm. about the current exhibition or a Experience’ – meal + entertainment, ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. £4–£7. [email protected] http://www.postdocsofcambridge. work of art in the house. Kettle’s followed by Culanu Oneg. The • The Fletcher Players: ‘Fallen’... a Need Jazzy ambience or Jazz org. Grad Pad. 6pm. Yard. 1:10pm. Student Centre, 3 Thompsons Lane. bittersweet play by Polly Teale. moods for dancing? Theatre 7:30pm. McCrum Theatre, Benet Street, next www.jazzam.fsnet.co.uk MUSIC • Far Too Happy: Footlight’s • Salsa Classes with Nelson to Eagle pub. 7:45pm. £4 / £3. • Fat Poppadaddys Presidential spectacular 2001 tour show returns. Batista: www.cambridgesalsa.com • Tony Ponzi Presents: Candid, • Holiday Cottage available in Suite: Student night playing Hip Perrier best newcomer nominees. Abs beg/imp: 6–7.30pm. Int/adv: brutal and occasionally honest Grantchester; ideal for parents or hop, indie, jazzy grooves and funky ADC Theatre. 7:45pm. £4–£7. 7.30–9pm. St.Columba’s Hall, 4 account of the music industry. family visiting Cambridge. stuff. Po Na Na’s. 8pm. £free b4 10 • The Fletcher Players: ‘Fallen’... a Downing Place (opp Crowne Plaza). ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3. Tel: 845351 or www.english- with NUS, £1 after. bittersweet play by Polly Teale. 6pm. £5 (£4 students). country-cottages.co.uk ref. PK 41. • Retro Electro: an evening of McCrum Theatre, Benet Street, next electronica, synth pop, indie, and to Eagle pub. 7:45pm. £4 / £3. MUSIC CLASSIFIED • Models Required: for life drawing retro classics. Q Club, corner of • Tony Ponzi Presents: Candid, • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime classes, £10 per hour. (Inexperienced Hills Road and Station Road. 9pm. brutal and occasionally honest recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. • Nearly New Fridge Freezer models are welcome.) £3.50. account of the music industry. ADC 1:10pm. 4.2 cubic feet. £70 or nearest offer. Contact: Mr Kowbaj, CATS,13/14 Theatre. 11pm. £3. • Tokyo Geidai Sinfonia Youth Cambridge 01223 741030 Round Church Street CB5 8AD. E-mail: [email protected] CHECKING Brickhouse Theatre Company Worldstar Cowboy CFTV Announces Productions (Cambridge Film AUDITIONS for a week 7 production of the Weill/Hart/Gershwin making society) LISTINGS? Musical Invite all angelic creatures and superstar performers to Squash “Lady in the Dark” audition to act in a film for CHECK Sat 6th October 11 – 6pm, JCR, Sidney Sussex “The Face” magazine Sunday 7th October Sun 7th October 10 –5pm, Music Room, Robinson Contact: crp28 7-9pm Bring something to sing if you want 07960 954 307 ONLINE Contact csw32 or btw24 for more details B1 Trinity Hall www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students London Literary

KETTLE'S YARD Agent STUDENT SQUASH 8 October 5–7pm The best sandwiches seeks fresh Have a drink, see some art, hear some music and find out more about Kettle’s Yard in Cambridge talent www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students and if you love coffee, All submissions Samatha considered Meditation then you’ll love O’Brien’s No reading Classes Sundays 8.00pm fees Old Library 43 Regent St. 6 St. Edward’s Passage Email an introductory Darwin College Cambridge Arts Theatre descriptive letter to: For more details e-mail [email protected] [email protected]

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Issued by Credit Suisse First Boston (Europe) Limited: regulated for investment business in the UK by The Securities and Futures Authority. ©2001 Credit Suisse First Boston Corp. All rights reserved. outlook interview 5 October 2001 24 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Who wants to live forever? As the Stem Cell debate rages, Laura Sillence and Anna Ward look at the technology that could bring us a step closer to immortality RELIGIOUS DIVISION Imagine a world where diseases such as Both human embryonic stem cells for medical research. Once again, the Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s are a thing and ‘neural stem cells’ found in adult potential of stem cells to develop into of the past, where a spinal cord injury is brains can develop into most of the cell specialised human cell types promises The use of human embryos for scien- no longer untreatable and where organs types found in the brain. Currently to provide a cure. In a heart attack, one tific research has of late become one of for transplant can be created in a lab. researchers are looking into two ways in of the coronary arteries supplying the the central issues in medical and scien- Impossible? Science fiction? This could which this information can be used to heart with oxygenated blood becomes tific ethics. An emotive issue, it has become reality thanks to the innova- cure Parkinson’s. The first involves blocked, causing cells in the heart to die been the subject of lengthy and hot- tions of stem cell research. implanting cells into the damaged as a result of lack of oxygen. The death headed debates spearheaded by the of these cells can then lead to heart fail- clash of principles between the ‘pro-lif- The need for heart transplants would ure. Recent research suggests that stem ers,’ who believe in the sanctity and cells may be able to replace the dam- individuality of the embryo even from decrease dramatically – saving the lives of aged tissue before this can occur. This conception; and the scientific commu- has been proved with experiments on nity, many of whom feel that research the countless patients who die every year rodents using bone marrow stem cells. to alleviate human suffering must If the research was successful, the need come before legal and philosophical © Physiome Science Inc. Research on both adult stem cells brain, which are stimulated to differen- for heart transplants would decrease wrangling over the rights and entitle- On these grounds Jews have no objec- which can develop into a limited num- tiate and multiply to replace the dramatically – saving the lives of the ments of what they see as a small, inert tion to stem cell research and go so far ber of cell types, and embryonic stem destroyed tissue. The second method countless patients who die every year ball of cells. as to believe that scientists must use cells, which have the potential to uses signalling molecules, such as whilst waiting for scarce donor hearts. Both the Roman Catholic and the spare embryos from IVF clinics if they become any cell type in the human growth factors, to activate the stem cells Now, scientists are undertaking the Protestant church are firmly against have the potential to cure diseases body, offers the hope of radical new found in the patient’s own brain and project of growing complete organs for embryonic research on the ground that given that they would otherwise be therapies for presently incurable dis- initiate growth and development. transplants using stem cells. This holds the Incarnation took place when Mary destroyed anyway. eases. Current research into the clinical Clinical trials have gone ahead, but not an additional advantage over conven- conceived and thus life begins at con- The Islamic tradition echoes many of applications of stem cells is focused on with unqualified success. In one trial tional transplant medicine. In order to ception and the abortion of the foetus the ideas of the Jewish faith by not the treatment of auto-immune diseases the stem cells survived and dif- avoid ‘rejection,’ where the transplant- is equivalent to infanticide. Pope John granting full moral status to the like Lupus, cancers such as leukaemia ferentiated correctly, but ed organ is recognised as for- Paul II met with President Bush and embryo within the first 40 days of a and other diseases in which a large in some patients eign and destroyed by the condemned “proposals for the creation pregnancy. Modern Muslim scholars number of cells of only a few types are excess dopamine patient’s for research purposes on human have recommended that it is obligatory destroyed. was produced embryos, destined to destruction in the (fard kifayah) to pursue this research in An exciting area of this research is the causing process.” order to relieve human suffering, but it opportunity for curing the neurological twitching By contrast, Jews base their ethics should be tightly controlled, full con- disease Parkinson’s. Parkinson’s disease and jerking. on two main sources, Exodus sent must be obtained from donors, destroys a group of nerve cells that pro- Stem cell 21:22 where the status of and no money must be involved. They duce the neurotransmitter dopamine. research the foetus is clearly differ- also encourage further research into the Dopamine is vitally also entiated from that of the potential of adult stem cells. important, as it offers mother, and the Talmud The Hindu view is based on the idea is need- which concludes that during of reincarnation is that life begins the first 40 days of pregnancy the before conception, again inferring that ed for con- embryo is ‘maya b’alma’ or ‘mere water’ the destruction of the embryo would trol of voluntary move- and therefore is not yet even a foetus. be a form of homicide. ment. Patients with Parkinson’s hope (famously Muhammad Ali and Michael to victims of heart J. Fox) suffer from loss of mobility, attacks. Cardiac disease, the immune system, transplant recipi- speech impairments and tremors. biggest killer in Britain, is a top priority ents must take immunosupressant drugs for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, this leaves them suscep- tible to many other diseases. The stem WHAT ARE STEM CELLS? cells used to repair damaged tissues or to create organs from transplantation In 1993, a cell nucleus was transferred but as pluripotent. It is these pluripo- could either be taken directly from the from a somatic (body) cell into an egg tent stem cells that are used in current patient as adult stem cells, or embryon- cell for the first time. This was the research. ic stem cells could be created by cloning technology used to create ‘Dolly the Human pluripotent stem cell lines an ordinary cell from the patient’s body. sheep’ and was seen by some people as have been developed from two sources. These ‘spare part’ cells would be genet- the first step on the road to realising The first method involves isolating ically identical to the patient, and rejec- immortality. cells from the inner cell mass of ‘spare’ tion could never occur. In August 2001, heart muscle cells embryos from IVF treatment. The Whilst we are beginning to see the grown from cells taken from human alternative was to take cells from foetal fruits of stem cell research, the work is embryos were implanted into a patient tissue obtained from terminated preg- as yet in its infancy. Clearly, the results suffering from heart disease, in order to nancies. In both cases, informed con- of this field of research will be highly strengthen his heart. An example of sent was required from the donor par- significant – and could quite literally Photo: CU Anatomy Dept. another development that may eventu- ents. The use of somatic cell nuclear change our world. ally allow us to rejuvenate our bodies transfer (SCNT) may be another way and extend our lives. These embryonic that pluripotent stem cells may be iso- cells were used because they have the lated. This requires the removal of the ability to divide for indefinite periods nucleus from a normal egg cell replaced in tissue culture and can differentiate and then fusion of the empty egg with Stem Cell research and the Law into many types of specialised cells. a nucleus taken from any other type of They are described as stem cells. (non-reproductive) cell. Since the egg It may come as a surprise to many peo- after 14 days, cloning for reproductive poses or collected from IVF clinics and A fertilised, human egg has the contains all the nutrients and ple that Britain actually has the most purposes (i.e. to create a new human cloning is not allowed for any reason. potential to become an entire organ- organelles require for embryo develop- permissive attitude towards such experi- being) is not allowed under British law. Matters in the rest of the European ism, and is therefore referred to as ment, the fused cell should be totipo- mentation. The precedent was set by the Britain is the first nation to allow Union are complex. Germany has a totipotent. Approximately four days tent and could in theory develop into 1990 Human Fertilisation and embryonic cloning. There is a strict complete ban on all embryo research, after fertilisation when the original cell pluripotent stem cell lines. This has not Embryology Act. This Act allows exper- screening process by the Human not limited to stem cells – a caution in has divided several times, the totipo- however been used in practice to date. imentation on human embryos into the Fertilisation and Embryological part due to the notoriety of Nazi eugen- tent cells begin to specialise for the first In addition to human embryonic treatment of certain approved research Authority for all applications to under- ics experiments. However, the European time, forming a blastocyst. This con- stem cells, which are pluripotent, work directions. These embryos are usually take this type of work. Group on Ethics in Science and sists of a spherical outer shell of cells is being done involving adult stem obtained from fertilisation clinics and Laws in the United States are more Technology holds the opinion that which will go on to form the placenta, cells. These are found in the adult are ‘surplus’ and would otherwise be restrictive. As of 9 August this year, fed- embryonic stem cell research should be and within the shell, the inner cell mass body, but can only form a limited destroyed. The embryos used in this eral funds may be used for research into permitted in those countries in which that eventually will form all the tissues range of cell types and are extremely work, however, must be destroyed after human embryonic stem cells, but only embryo research is already legal, but in the new human body. Since the hard to purify. Nevertheless, many 14 days, as this is when the nervous sys- from existing cell lines obtained with that cloning should not be permitted. inner cell mass cannot form the pla- countries are more willing to allow tem begins to develop. In addition, law- consent from the donors of ‘extra’ IVF Indeed, in September last year the centa tissue needed for the embryo’s research on these, due to the ethical makers allowed cloning of embryos for embryos and without any financial European Parliament condemned development into a viable foetus, these considerations surrounding embryonic this research from January of this year. inducements for the donor. No new Britain’s plans to allow therapeutic cells are described not as totipotent, research. As all embryos have to be destroyed embryos can be created for research pur- cloning of embryos. A varsityarts

“Okay, okay, so writing an article about The Two New Guitar Bands From The States That Everyone’s Heard Of may not be an entirely original or inspired idea, but some things just have to be done (although facing up to the reality of my new-found status as a Finalist can be put off for at least a couple of weeks). After all, how could Varsity retain any shred of credibility if it didn’t offer its own take on the great ques- tion of “just why is the media so excited about The Strokes?”.

The answer is, of course, “we’re buggered if we know”. Don’t get us wrong; Varsity does, after all, recog- nise the need for pretty young things with superb cheekbones and dangerously good hair from New York to play taut, melodic pop songs that come in at no more than three minutes. However, take away the photogenic qualities of The Strokes and you’re left with a band that sounds a bit like The Velvet Underground and not a whole lot more.

Which is where The White Stripes come in, and what more could you want from a band? Music aside for the moment, you’d be hard pressed to come up with a more appealing group on paper, let alone in real life: the Detroit underground background followed by the million dollar record deal, the strict adherence to their red and white dress code, the ambiguous intra-band relationship (are Jack and Meg White really brother and Photo: Tom Catchesides sister or are they divorcees?). They even say inadvisable things in interviews – it doesn’t take a particu- larly detailed knowledge of civil rights history to make Jack White referring to his “dream of being a black man in the ‘30s” look rather foolish, if not downright idiotic. You really couldn’t want more from a band. A sound veering between a pyrotechnically-enhanced Hendrix (present on all of their records) and the distilled essence of The Pixies (on present album White Blood Cells) would certainly be too much to ask for, but that’s what we get. Short of a truly rock’n’roll demise, The White Stripes are fully formed and offer everything that a rock band could possibly be”.(TC) 5 October 2001 26 ARTSMUSIC www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A

here’s not the same romance in a stream culture. Witness V/VM’s gar- know how ATMs work (put in card, But somehow, whenever I hear the table heavy with buttons and bled butchery of everything from True out comes money). I can pro- word ‘electronica’, an image of Kraftwerk Tbleeps as in a vintage strat. Steppaz to the BBC snooker theme. the debate Igramme a video to record without on the cover of ‘The Man Machine’ There’s not the foot-on-the-monitor Witness Kid 606’s entire distended having to consult the instruction manu- comes into my head. Each member star- verve, the perm-in-the-eyes, the flexible career. Witness Matmos’ latest album, al each time. I am adept at setting the ing with beady black eyes away from the bicep tattoo. Surely, no iBook owner constructed entirely around samples clock on my stereo after powercuts. camera, dressed in uniform red shirts and smokes so heavily they have to tally it from plastic surgery. Where Punk chal- Thus, I can conclude that I am not a black ties, with their hair slicked back up in lighters-per-day and, certainly, lenged the mainstream by brute force, luddite. tightly against their skulls. They look like none of them go round injecting hero- the iBook mafia are appropriating it, samples Despite being a fully signed up mem- a cross between Barbara Cartland and in into their eyeballs. It’s just not dismembering it and inveigling their ber of modern life and all the gadgets Hitler. Music becomes science. They ‘raawk’, these days, in the true sense of way back into it. And I’ve heard they that accompany it, at times, I can’t help stand behind their black boxes and look the word. all smoke like chimneys and rock like but feel that the technological revolu- like they have the power to bomb the When I was 10 or 11, my mother bastards besides. tion has passed me by especially when it world, the loops and drum machines dragged me into a music shop. While Kid 606: ‘With electronic music, we comes to music. It’s not for want of try- plotting their progress. she flicked delightedly through Gilbert never had the girls, we never had the vs ing – I own records that have no guitars During the mid nineties, at the height and Sullivan scores, I strayed to a dark- guys in pick up trucks, we started with on them. I even like these records and of Britpop, it seemed like you had to er remove. Guitars were idling, sur- the geeks and we’re trying to grow out am in admiration of anyone who can make a choice. On one side you were rounded by towering posters of various of it. That’s why its such an uphill bat- produce such a noise from a computer, confronted with the Chemical Brothers, axe heroes in various heroic poses. The tle.’ when all I can get out of mine is the Orbital, Bentley Rhythm Ace; all of shopkeeper was explaining to the Dave Thorley strings start up, welcome beep. whom have the onstage charisma of a harassed mother of some demanding, speaker rack lying motionless on its side. mulleted boy that ‘an electric guitar is a Against this apparent inertia stood symbol of youth’. And he was right. It Damon Albarn and Jarvis Cocker, who was scarcely a year before I was drag- despite their faults, at least looked as ging my mother down to the second- though they were having a good time and hand shop and striking a bargain gave truculent teenagers nationwide, involving some kind of Christmas and something to leave their bedrooms for. Birthday present exchange. No more At the age of 14, I persuaded my par- tennis racket air-guitar; I had a good ents to sell their piano and use the money decade ahead, of assembling my mates to buy a shiny black telecaster that bore in the garage, gratuitous swearing and more than a passing resemblance to smoking. Justine Frischman’s. I was sold. I had But with the advent of the superstar made my choice. Anyone can make a DJ and without any warning at all, not sound come out of an electric guitar, the playing your own instrument was the metal strings responding even to random done thing. Just as guitars breathed fire strums and plucks. The same cannot be into the children of punk, decks and said for a synthesiser and a computer. You drum machines empowered such hap- need a certain knowledge and under- less incompetents as The Happy standing that some people will never Mondays and Stereo MCs. Hardly rev- grasp. This is where my patience runs olutionary, I know, but it is not on out and I resort to the safe haven of gui- these shambling drunks that I wish to tar bands. I even go so far as to play bass dwell. in a band that otherwise consists exclu- Punk’s new weapon is the laptop. sively of Moogs, Rolands and Korg sam- Aboard trains, in coffee shops and gen- plers. Maybe I’m just a lost cause but the erally, around convenient public places, way I look at it, I’m just keeping things seeming recluses are tapping away, simple. reprocessing the bloated girth of main- Photo: Thorley Dave Louisa Thomson DJs Wanted Road to Nirvana Dan Hurst on Fitz hunt for student superstars Jim Hinks reads the definitive book of the band or the first time ever, a Cambridge something to people, be it electro, funk rom our vantage point a decade College is set to host an interna- or whatever!” Six DJs will be selected hence, it is patently clear that Ftional superclub and it is giving and given a minimum of an hour’s set FNevermind fundamentally altered unrecognised student DJs the chance to each at the event which takes place at the landscape of popular music, yet be part of the action. Voyager – the Fitzwilliam on the last day of term, 29th upon its release almost exactly ten Fitzwilliam November Event – will wel- November. Tapes with full track listing years ago most music critics did not see come the South Coast clubbing giants and contact details should be sent to it as the most important release of the Slinky, famed for their legendary Rufus Chuter at Fitzwilliam, no later week. That accolade went to Primal Bournemouth all-nighters and chart top- than Saturday 13th October. Anyone Scream’s Screamadelica: although a few ping mix albums. In an event stretched needing more information about the brave souls suggested that maybe across four main musical arenas, taking event and tickets should consult the Nevermind might break Nirvana out of in everything from house, drum and bass event’s website at www.fitzvoyager.co.uk the underground and sell 50,000 and garage, and with a line-up that copies. includes the likes of Goldie, John 00 Without detracting from the album Fleming and DJ Pied Piper; Voyager is and its astonishing achievements, it the first of its kind in Cambridge. will perhaps be forever clouded by the Nevertheless, event organiser Chris shadow of its creator’s ferocious final Barnes is keen to stress that Voyager will act. As with so many artists who died not remain exclusive to the household violent and premature deaths, Cobain names already confirmed: “What we’re has become an overly romanticised fig- trying to achieve is an event where we ure; a tendency not helped by a slew of not only showcase the best in interna- trash biographies published in the tional DJs but also give unrecognised immediate aftermath of his death. So quently and demanding larger shares which Kurt obsessively planned every student DJs the chance to play alongside maybe it’s only ten years after of royalties at the expense of his band musical and career direction, years the big names. We’re looking to take Nirvana’s defining moment that any mates. However, this is not to say that before executing them. These diaries bedroom DJs who haven’t been given the real kind of perspective can be gained Cross does a hatchet job on his subject. also display a tendency toward self- chance to prove their talent and give upon their front man’s short life. Kurt comes across as a largely sympa- mythologising: two charges often them that chance in an event where their Charles R. Cross’ attempt is given fur- thetic character and Cross makes sensi- unfairly levelled at Cobain’s widow. music will actually be heard.” Chris is ther credibility by Courtney Love tive use of the diary material to docu- Cross skilfully manages to throw fresh appealing to all future superstar DJs to offering unprecedented access to ment his slow and harrowing spiral light on one of the most analysed fig- back their talent and send in a mix tape, Cobain’s diaries, suicide notes and art- toward suicide. ures in popular music, suggesting that and not be constrained by the usual work. Cross seemingly relishes his role Indeed Heavier than Heaven is worth those closest to Kurt Cobain hardly music policy exercised by many of as iconoclast, exposing the lazy myths reading for the diary entries alone, knew him, let alone the fans that have Cambridge’s events: “We’re not looking that have grown up around his subject. which are genuinely revelatory and as canonised him. It seems at last a deeply for the next Judge Jules or Dave Pearce, Whilst readily acknowledging that such are the book’s greatest strength. complex and contradictory man has we just want to hear music that means Cobain’s fame caused him untold anx- They reveal the astonishing degree to got the honest obituary he deserves. iety and revulsion, he maintains it has Voyager is at Fitz on Thursday 29 November, been conveniently overlooked that Heavier than Heaven by Charles R. Cross is out now, pub- 9pm – 6am Cobain was capable of hectoring MTV lished by Hodder & Staughton i executives to play his videos more fre- i 5 October 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSMUSIC 27

At the break up of the Stone Roses To the uninitiated Turin Brakes are I’m wrenched apart with guilt that I Meet Vex Red. At a tender age of but It seems particularly cruel to have to you would have got long odds on two charisma-free young men with thought Dreadzone were dead. I stum- months, Vex Red were exposed to the review a dance record, having just sat Brown being the one to carve out a dubious facial hair and even more bled away from their sunken body, unspeakable horror of their parents’ down and written an article in defence successful solo career. Helped by dubious Neil Young pretensions, mumbling, through the sheeting rain; record collection. Conceived one heady of the guitar. ‘Superpro-kid’ makes remarkable resilience and a loyal fan who have somehow managed to “there’s nothing we can do for them night after a little too much Billy Ray five minutes seems like a lifetime, lis- base Ian Brown has against all odds carve out a career delivering bland now”. Cirus, Vex Red still bear the scars of tening to the end, requiring more arrived at the ‘difficult third album’. MOR whilst perched upon stools. And Dreadzone take revenge; return- their early years. Understandably, the effort than an arts student would need This sees him relocated to rural Needless to say, ‘Emergency 72’ is ing to haunt me with a song that sounds adolescencent trauma flowered into a to sit through a lecture on chemical Cheshire with his wife and baby son stupefyingly dull, sounding like something like the one everybody quite damaged maturity and, inevitably, a engineering. The strings on the track in tow. Sadly this domestic bliss has something found on Toploader’s cut- liked but can’t remember properly. That pathological misanthropy. oscillate between two wavering notes, blunted his caustic wit and ‘Music of ting room floor after a particularly was the Dreadzone I remembered fond- But the good, big-hearted people at interrupted only by the obligatory the Spheres ‘ is essentially an exercise unproductive day. Yet if this song ly. It was with a teary eye that I heard Virgin records looked pitifully on Vex ‘break down’ mid-song. The effect in formulaic and bland trip-hop. were merely insipid, then that would DJs announce “a trip down memory Red. Virgin provided the means for could be sinister, giving ‘Superpro-kid’ Whilst Ian Brown’s previous solo be forgivable. The ridiculously lane”, “a blast from the past” or – in the these troubled young men to channel a more interesting, dark undercurrent. releases were also of somewhat ques- histrionic vocal, a conceited and case of Mary Anne Hobbs – “cacopho- their terribly, terribly intense disaffec- Unfortunately, the other sounds are tionable musical quality, they were at woeful attempt to replicate Jeff nous, preposterous, oesophageal, sorry, tion for the world into a formulaic similarly lacking in direction, resulting least redeemed by Brown’s bilious Buckley’s technique places the track I’m not making sense” before spinning racket with a glossy cover. And the debt in a mish-mash that is excused only lyrics and savage humour. Devoid of in the ranks of the truly detestable. that really famous record, that I so loved these unfortunates owe to Virgin does- under the label of ‘disco-dazed funk’. such vitriol Music of the Spheres has ‘Emergency 72’? Make a 999 call to to remember partly. Revenge is exact. In n’t go unacknowledged. “Without Rather than feeling inspired to jump precious little left to offer the listener the taste police. the fine tradition of eyes for eyes and Virgin,” they’ve apparently been heard up and dance, turning the volume and as such is ultimately unfulfilling teeth for teeth, Dreadzone have taken mumbling, “we’d never have discovered down to the level of inoffensive back- and tedious. what was once trusted implicitly and that we could get paid for this pre- ground music seems more appropri- rendered it insufferable. dictable din.” ate.

Ian Brown Turin Brakes Dreadzone Vex Red Sie Music of the spheres (Polydor) Emergency 72 (Source) Believing In It Remixes (Ruff Life) Itch (Virgin) Superpro-kid (Pussy Foot) Out 1 October Out 1 October Out 8 October Out 8 October Out 8 October JIM HINKS JIM HINKS DAVE THORLEY DAVE THORLEY LOUISA THOMSON PREVIEWS ROCK KIDZ ROOL OK nd so, with the alcohol- induced oblivion of Freshers’ Do you remember the first time? Hilary Tacey does, fondly. AWeek nearly at an end, Cambridge starts to settle back into enswe@r and Kylie you’re 18 you’ve often lapsed into older than your average popkid, music…even I am not that NME sponsored music (the the term-time routine. At least, in Minogue…Not, sadly, over-analysis and a tendency to but the genre is pretty much the deluded. In the main it’s largely Strokes, the White Stripes et al), all senses apart from the musical Ma suggestion for a buy records because you think preserve of under 18s – anyone derivitive, often corporate, some- its ill-considered, under- one, that is. rather nightmarish (but strangely you should like them rather than older who wants to retain any times mysogynistic bobbins, analysed, raucous and exciting. Most colleges are running ents in an compelling) collaboration, but those you actually do. Kids, kind of credibility knows full with little musical merit or depth It doesn’t give a fuck – and that’s effort to delay the onset of the crip- the first gig I went to and single I however, love pop (for my sister well to steer clear. Come on, you whatsoever. And stylistically, exactly the attitude you want to pling hangover that will set in as soon bought. Asking your friends it was Billy Joel and Queen!) know you’ve made patronising combining goth and skater is plug into, the soundtrack you as the drinking stops; posters are your what their first musical ‘experi- because at that age you have little remarks about those town kids in hardly the most innovative of want to live to, aged 16. So, it best source of information on account ence’ was may appear a bit of a sense of ‘cool’…eight-year-olds baggy trousers, eyeliner and mul- fashion movements. But the fact hasn’t got much depth but nei- of the sheer number of events on damp squib of a question, but it don’t buy Steps and S-Club tiple piercings, smug in the it’s so appallingly bad is what ther has pop. Stick a guitar in offer. has to beat the hell out of “What records as a badge of knowing knowledge that your tastes and makes it the perfect soundtrack someone’s hands and suddenly Relief from college ents or the A-levels did you do?” (hello ironic kitsch, it’s because they’re musical and aesthetic sensibilities to being young, and more exact- they’re expected to be ‘worthy’… ubiquitous town-centre clubs is, as freshers) and is actually a lot shiny, exciting and fun. are so much more developed and ly, to being a teenager. Who Whether Slipknot or Five Star, ever, offered by Cambridge’s smaller more revealing… Now, this may come as a men- mature. And, at the same time, wants their parents, or even their the music you listened to before venues. As far as club nights go, I may have been knee-high to a tal leap of Jonathan Edwards choosing to ignore the fact that older brother and sisters to you were expected to be grown- Retro Electro (the name says it all) grasshopper when I bought ‘I standards, but this is actually, I the boys and girls jumping up admire their record collection up and reasonable, just for the is worth a special mention, and should be so lucky’ , but the fact is think, a pretty good argument in and down to Linkin Park are and dress sense? adrenaline rush, is never really worth the trip to the Q Club on that my first instincts towards defence of nu-metal. having about 500 times more Nu-metal is cool because equalled. Something to think on Thursday 11th Oct. Entry is £2.50 cheesey pop and bad indie have No, nooo, come fun than you did the last unlike the majority of ‘adult’ the next time you sneer at the before 11pm, £3.50 afterwards. proved disturbingly consis- back! Bear with me, time you nodded along kids in black whilst clutching For those who prefer their music tent…I was a Kenickie fan, you just for a minute. earnestly to the likes of your latest ice-cool, but probably live, October is the time to be in know. Nu-metallers the Beta Band and interminably dull, musical pur- Cambridge. The woozy psychedelia The music you listened to may be slightly Broadcast. chase. of the Beta Band kick off proceed- when you were a teenager, or I’m not in any way ings at the Junction on Sunday 7th younger, is worthy of considera- arguing that nu- Oct, followed by the melancholy- tion whether or not your metal is ‘good’ yet-uplifting Elbow at the same tastes have proved as venue on Monday. Although occa- unwavering as mine. sionally accused of indie, Elbow are In fact they’re prob- just as much the perfect antidote to ably more inter- college ent cheese as the Beta Band esting if you and the Junction is perhaps now de- Cambridge’s foremost live venue, in nounce what- terms of both atmosphere and line- ever you danced up. The week continues in fine form around your with appearances at the Corn living room Exchange from both Spiritualized to then… (creators of the epoch-defining By the time Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space) and the magnificently inventive Super Furry Animals, on Wednesday and Thursday, respec- tively. Four major tours in one week is quite an event, so make the most of it while it lasts. realised by Tom Catchesides 5 October 2001 28 ARTSCLASSICAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A PREVIEWS

Friday 5 October Quick, free and easy Lunchtime Concert, Kettle’s Yard 1.10pm, free. Short recital in pleas- Ben Ward gets you in for nothing ant surroundings. ne of the obvious advantages of bering that choirs such as these, along being a student is the ability to with the many others around APU Lunchtime Concert Series, Oget stuff free. Simply by flashing Cambridge, are some of the best in the Mumford Theatre 1.10pm, free. one’s plush new NUS card in the face of world (a brief browse through the classi- Alison Stephens (mandolin) gives a lec- authority, numerous freebies and dis- cal section of HMV proves this), and ture/recital following her succesful counts can be procured. But sadly, find- being able to hear them daily on our recording of the soundtrack for the ing concerts to which this applies is doorstep is a privilege not to be taken recent film Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. more difficult. Having said this, hearing for granted. music of the highest quality without Other free concerts of every sort getting your wallet out is something you abound during term time, but another Saturday 6 October can do in Cambridge. There is such a regular fix can be found at Kettle’s Yard St. Alban’s International Organ welcome saturation of music-making in on Friday lunchtimes at 1.10pm. Competition 2001, King’s College the University that often free admission Shorter, daytime recitals like these make Chapel 6.30pm, free. Clive Driskell- is the best and only way to lure an audi- less of a dent in the evening social or Smith (Organ). ence. (In May Week, the incentive has work schedule, while also saving beer (or to be increased to include a complimen- book) money. The KY Subscription Sinfonia of Cambridge Great St. tary after show binge-drinking session Concerts (Thursday evenings) can also Mary’s 8pm, £9/£6 Haydn 49, due to the sheer abundance of concerts be seen for nothing if you are at Darwin, Beethoven, Finzi La Passione. being held!) Fitz, Tit Hall, Pembroke, Robinson, Includes music by Gerald Finzi, the One of the easiest, most enjoyable and Sidney or Jesus. The respective Bursars centenary of whose birth was cele- most convenient free musical experi- of these colleges have a number of free brated earlier this year. ences around can be had by attending a tickets tucked away so hassle them until choral service at one of the college they give them to you. CUMC Chamber Concert, St. Catz chapels. In the summer, such services Borders (the new book superstore in 8pm, £5/£3 – members/under 18s become major tourist attractions, but the middle of town) has a license for live free. Ravel Sonate pour violon et vio- during Michaelmas Term congregations music on the premises, and this takes loncelle, Mendelssohn Piano Trio 1 in are smaller and more intimate. Colleges place on a Sunday afternoon and is also D minor, Rachmaninov – Variations almost always have seating reserved for free. Check the store for details of what on a theme of Corelli Op. 42; Anna University members at all times of the the entertainment is, but it is usually a Smith (vln), Alex Holladay (cello) year. King’s have a choral evensong daily small classical or jazz ensemble. and Annabelle Lawson (piano). at 5.30pm (except Mondays) and at A word of warning – these are only a Outstanding student musicians per- 3.30pm on Sundays, with a sung few examples of ways in which you can form some lesser-known works. Eucharist at 10.30am, while John’s can hear a concert for nothing. There are be heard at 6.30pm, (again except many others, but following the example Mondays and with the extra morning of a certain Owen Cox (Catz), who Sunday 7 October service on Sundays). Works by Tallis, claims that ANY concert can be a free Freshers’ Concert, Selwyn College Byrd, Stanford, Atwood and Weelkes are one if you simply sneak in after the over- Hall 8.30pm, free performed regularly as one would ture, these are not advisable. He’s a small expect, but much contemporary music man and slips easily through darkness, Monday 8 October is also programmed. It is worth remem- whereas you may not. Take heed. Lunchtime Recital, Clare Chapel w www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/choir, 1.15pm, free web w www.joh.cam.ac.uk, www.borders.com Photo: Ben Ward Wednesday 10 October Newnham Raleigh Music Society Lunchtime Freshers’ Recital, Old Labs 1.20pm, free Tokyo Geidai Sinfonia, Emmanuel Legendary violinist dies United Reform Church 7.30pm, free. This well-known Japanese youth Isaac Stern: 1920 – 2001 orchestra performs as part of the Japan 2001 festival under the direc- ust over a week ago, the world lost raised and educated in San Fransisco, Gulf War. An air raid siren sounded, president of New York’s Carnegie Hall, tion of Gerhard Bosse. An interesting one of its greatest and most where he made his orchestral debut in and in the midst of the ensuing panic, and is credited for saving it from dem- programme features Britten and Jacclaimed musicians. Isaac Stern 1936 with a performance of the Stern stepped on stage and immersed olition in 1960. Even at the height of Beethoven, plus Mozart concertos for died on the 23rd September from a Brahms Violin Concerto with the San himself in a movement of unaccompa- his fame, Stern always had time for stu- violin and piano. heart attack in New York, aged 81. Fransisco Symphony Orchestra. By his nied Bach. The audience became calm dents - unstintingly giving his time and Undoubtedly one of the leading vio- mid-twenties, Stern was a and transfixed until the danger experience. He was known as an linists of the twentieth century, Stern’s soloist of international passed. intensely thorough and not unintimi- Thursday 11 October monumental career spanned some six repute. Alongside his acclaimed dating master. Indian Classical Music, Winstanley decades and has well over one hundred During the Second interpretation of the He was honoured highly for his con- Lecture Theatre, Trinity Hall, 7pm, recordings to his name, making him World War, Stern standard repertoire, tributions to music and the arts, free. Pandit Buddhadev Dasgupta one of the most recorded individual entertained especially the works including high accolades from the US, plays the sarod. artists ever. Born in Kreminiecz, in the American soldiers of Bach, Beethoven Israel and Japan. His most recent former USSR in 1920, he came to as part of a special and Brahms, Stern recordings include Dvorak String America before his first birthday with unit for classical was also known as Quartet No. 2 with Jaime Loredo, Yo- his parents as they fled the Russian rev- musicians. An a champion of Yo Ma and Emmanuel Ax, and a retro- olution. Here he remained, being American Jew, he contemporary spective collection My First 79 Years JAZZ vowed never to music. including his very first recording made play in Germany Throughout his in 1945. Both appear on Sony after the war. He career, he pre- Classical. Stern was married three Friday 5 October stayed true to this miered and times, and leaves grandchildren. promise, return- recorded new w Cambridge Modern Jazz Club @ ing only in 1999 works by leading web www.isaacstern.com Sophbeck Sessions, 14 Tregold Lane, to teach. Stern composers of his w Napier St. toured extensively time, including in the Soviet Union, Bernstein, Grupo X – the hottest Latin act on and in 1979, became Penderecki, the London scene visit CMJC for a the first Western musi- Rochberg, Schuman, second time. “Tough beats combine cian to perform in China Dutilleux and Maxwell with explosive horns under a soulful after the Cultural Davies. He also gave the soundscape. Bring dance shoes.” Revolution. Stern understood American premieres of works by 7.30pm, £12/£9/concessions. the power of music as a diplomatic Bartók and Hindemith. force and a bringer of peace – political- He is remembered not only for his w www.grupo-x.com ly and personally. This philosophy was on-stage activities, but also for his web www.jazzeast.org.uk most famously evident in a 1991 per- devotion and support of the arts in w Photos: © Sony Classical formance he gave in Israel, during the general. For over thirty years he was 5 October 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSVISUAL 29

GET INVOLVED

Visual Arts Society Politics and Tradition Student-run organisation promoting contemporary arts in Cambridge. Varsity Visual Arts analyses the amazing art of Africa The society’s main aim is organising a series of talks by prominent members hris Ofili is arguably the only name transported masks and statues from Tahiti of the art world, held mainly at Jesus that comes readily to mind as a in the 1800s? The death of the postmod- College throughout the year. Previous Ccontemporary artist of African ori- ernists seems not to have halted decontex- speakers include Bridget Riley, gin. African art is traditionally known for tualisation and inaccuracy (remembering Langlands & Bell and Anthony Caro. its tribal masks and great Benin bronzes – that Tahiti is quite distant from Africa). Membership: £15 per year or but immediate collections are relatively Considering the beauty of East Africa, £2.50 per talk unknown and, furthermore, few and far there is a lack of landscape paintings or Contact: Rhiannon Pickles (President) between. Encounters with the nature-based sculptures focusing on the [email protected] Contemporary at the New York Museum attributes of the continent. of African Art is the most recent in a long It seems that contemporary African art is Fitzwilliam Museum Society line of attempts to encourage a revival of a mix of political, religious, tribal and aes- Association between the student interest. Exhibition curator Elizabeth Ann thetic themes which should be seen as per- body and the Fitzwilliam collection, Harvey is eager to emphasise that African haps a benefit. People talk of Africa unit- the society often works alongside the creativity didn’t cease at some arbitrary ed. The reality is that each country is prob- museum, promoting exhibitions as moment in the past, but is ongoing. ably as individual as each state of America. well as being a forum for those inter- My own trips to East Africa highlighted In spite of its shortcomings, the future ested in the visual arts, both appreci- not only the obvious third world status of looks promising for African arts: the exhi- ation and practical. Previous years Kenya, Malawi, Tanzania, Zimbabwe and bition in New York and individuals like have also seen organised trips Zambia, but also the importance placed Ofili inspire a new generation of artistry. abroad. on tradition. Western society has collided Ofili, of Nigerian descent, is noted for Contact: Kelly Wear (Practical Arts) rather than integrating with traditional examining issues of black culture and sex- [email protected] African practice. Whilst the Masai tribe ual stereotyping. His infamous elephant are increasingly giving up nomadic life, dung was apparently his method of – lit- Kettle’s Yard they continue to dress in the established erally – incorporating Africa. He was A chance for students to get involved red shawls and beaded jewelry, and elon- influenced by cave paintings in Zimbabwe with modern art in Cambridge in a gate their earlobes. Women are still not composed of decorative dots, which very hands-on fashion, Kettle’s Yard seen as social equals to men, but marry explain his richly coloured canvases remi- offers many forms of volunteer work and stay at home; a divorced woman is niscent of tapestries. Zachariah Mbutha is throughout the year, working within deemed useless within the village commu- a rising artist, little known at present, who the gallery or administration. The nity (perhaps this goes some way to follows in Ofili’s wake as a portrayer of gallery holds music evenings as well explaining the scarcity of female African hunger and poverty in his figurative sculp- as gallery talks and a student picture artistry). Through choice and not necessi- ture. Berni Searle photographs her own loan scheme. ty East Africa opts not only to preserve but body parts in ways that suggest the repres- Student Squash at Kettle’s Yard, remain with its cultural heritage. sive practices of apartheid. Many powerful Monday 8th October, 5pm-7pm Contemporary sculptures and paintings paintings at the exhibition in New York Contact: [email protected] undeniably reflect the relevance of indige- are inextricably linked to Third World nous culture, betraying a hiatus in the pro- issues. Social commentary has never been Visual Arts Writing for Varsity gression of African art which began before more poignant, considering the needs and For anyone interested in starting or colonisation. Contemporary cultural desperation of this continent, and no continuing to write for an audience, identity is rarely portrayed, artists unsure other nation has more firsthand material the opportunity to review an exhibi- as to what this identity might be. Them Bones (1995) to address these challenging questions. tion, discuss the state of art today, Collections sometimes aim to preserve the courtesy of Victoria Miro gallery There is a long way to go in terms of serialise the Turner Prize, whatever ancient foundations; others betray mod- contemporary African art and collection, takes your interest. Varsity is looking ern urges to destroy it. works in the United States, Paris or born in Nigeria but now lives in London, but this is a fast-growing market and with for fresh opinions, creativity, enthusi- Most of the artists displaying at the exhi- London because there are few available as do the ceramic artists Abdalla and talent like Ofili’s the renaissance that asm and a keen interest in writing. bition in New York appear to have moved materials and opportunities for young cre- Odundo. Isn’t this a similar situation to Harvey and her fellow enthusiasts are hop- Contact: Vanessa Hodgkinson from their birthplaces, and produced their ators, even in Nairobi. Douglas Camp was the one that sadly arose when Gauguin ing for is surely at hand. [email protected] All Abroad for the Biennale Vanessa Hodgkinson gets down and dirty at the 49th Venice Biennale

his year, the 49th Exhibition of inwards to their own culture and mythol- quickly dispelling any animal rights senti- viewer all the closer to Jesus Christ, the International Modern Art, takes ogy for inspiration. The main space is ment that may have been supposed by the subject of the work. For both the believer Tplace in and around Venice, bring- filled with more than 40 full-sized robotic overlaying sounds of birds singing and and the sceptic, it holds our attention ing together new work from over 60 coun- figures, all kneeling in the same direction, water running. because of its humanity and humility, tries, creating a ‘plateau of humankind’ totally obscured in black cloth. The entire Japan filled its space with neon ‘Golden both universal themes. through the visual arts. scene, their movements simulating prayer, Arches’ of monumental scale, clearly mim- Perhaps one of the most memorable The two main sites are the Giardini, the the concealment of features behind the icking the McDonald’s sign, exploring moments was a video installation, ‘Arrival Botanical Gardens to the East of Venice’s shrouds, conjures up images of a variety of themes of corporate identity and image. Lounge’ (1997), which shows an airport centre, and at the Arsenale. Smaller exhi- religions, from Islamic prayer toward Walking through these glowing 10ft tall arrival door, through which passengers bitions are also to be found in and around Mecca, to the High Priests of the Roman sculptures, the arches take on a new pro- emerge slowly from the flight lounges. the town. The Botanical Gardens house Catholic Church. Small television screens fundity, whilst at the same time, remain- Played in slow motion to an angelic choral around 30 pavilions and remain the main in each corner of the room show varying ing vacuous. soundtrack, the scene seemed to reflect focus of the Biennale. Each pavilion repre- scriptures and religious texts in a series of However, it was Mark Wallinger, the what arriving in heaven might be in a very sents one country, housing work by one or almost ‘brainwashing’ flashes, with a only artist to be on show in the British modern interpretation. Wallinger’s view several representative artists of that nation. soundtrack of monotonous, ambiguous pavilion, whose exhibition stood out as a on the possibilities of the afterlife and The architecture of these spaces alone is prayer, giving an eerie life to the entire complete unit of work. As with previous mortality seems more palpable to present impressive, with projects by Aalto, installation. The entire scene seems to be works, and reflected in this show, society, quite unlike the traditional image Hoffman, Scarpa, Fehn, Rietveld and an attempt to expose the high myth factor Wallinger’s great preoccupation and the of the ‘pearly gates’ guarded by Saint Peter Stirling, erected over the years as perma- of the cult of religion, as well as reflecting theme of much of his work, is the idea of The Biennale, which has been running nent spaces for the show, held in the sum- the potency of the unknown. spirituality and life in the contemporary since June, ends in November. Each year it mer months each year. With over Olga Chernysheva’s photographs in the world, often juxtaposing biblical ideas provides an important ground upon 27,000m2 for the Biennale, there is ample next room, of Russian women wearing with a modern image. The various rooms which the varying movements in contem- space for the imagination to run free. their stereotypical heavy fur coats also of the pavilion show different pieces and porary art can come together from every Of the many countries represented, seems to be an attempt to lay open the installations, but unlike entries from other corner of the world, and be shown on there are always some that stand out; this sometimes mystifying Russian culture to countries, the attention of the viewer is equal standing. Whilst the established year there were arresting entries from the world, (perhaps the underpinning undivided by the various works, because countries such as Britain, France, Italy and Russia, Japan and, of course, the British statement of the show). The relation of the whole was clearly as important as the the United States draw the greatest representative, Mark Wallinger. nature to the use of fur for human use was sum of its parts. The life-size ‘Ecce Homo’ crowds, projects from Cuba, Lithuania Russian artists Olga Chernysheva, Sergei interesting, if a little obvious. But the artist (1998) takes pride of place in the opening and Jamaica can often prove to be both Photo courtesy of the Shutov and Leonid Sokov created was clear to state that the wearing of fur in room. The statue stands alone, a pitiful surprising and eye-opening to the state of Venice Biennale 2001 thought-provoking works, looking Russia was not simply a fashion statement, figure whose life-like appearance draws the modern art on a global scale. PUT YOUR CAREER INTO FOCUS GRADUATE OPPORTUNITIES NATIONWIDE £COMPETITIVE & FLEXIBLE BENEFITS

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Date: Wednesday 10 October www.kpmg.co.uk Time: 6.30pm for a presentation at 7.00pm Venue: Crowne Plaza, Downing Street, Cambridge 5 October 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSLITERATURE 31

LIT SHORTS Heffers Call on crazy Coupland Jan Morris will be reading from and speaking about her new novel, Trieste. Emily Haworth-Booth Tuesday, 9th October, 6:30-8pm. Free, but an advance ticket is been explored recently in other novels, think, a book for all time and for our required. All Families are Psychotic notably Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club. time, in an age where civilians are Douglas Coupland All Families Are Psychotic, however, attacked and no family is safe from Heffers’ Children i (HarperCollins) seems to have a special ingredient that becoming psychotic. is hard to find in much contemporary Gillian McClure will be talking “Pretend we’re dead. We can say any- writing, and is even, in a sense, absent about her (children’s) book Tom thing we want.” from some of Coupland’s earlier Finger. Wednesday, 10th October, 6- ouglas Coupland knows works. When I read his debut novel, 7:30pm. Free, but an advance ticket about people. His new book is Generation X, I was knocked over by is required. Da testament to his awareness it. It was concerned with everything of the way intimacy grows, and the that was concerning me and my peers. way that it often takes tragedy for peo- I thought it was the sort of book that Borders ple to understand their feelings for might change the world, if books Discussion Group: The Words each other. In this sense All Families could. I see now that Generation X had Women Write, Thursday, 11th are Psychotic is beautifully structured, a limited audience and appeal. Its pro- October, 7pm. Free. a web of family ties that become tagonists were twenty-somethings on stronger as the characters’ lives fall the run from the rat race, in a book Student Discount Day. apart. We read of Ted Drummond and packed full of brand names, irony and 20% off everything in store. his wife Nickie that “their shared med- find out that she doesn’t have the in-jokes. All Families Are Psychotic, on Tuesday 16th October. ical sagas bound them more closely virus, afraid to leave the support the other hand, is a pick’n’mix bag of together than might have any joyful group that came with the disease. the old and the young, the clever and experience.” Similarly, sixty year-old Coupland’s novel hovers between the stupid, and the poor and the rich, Waterstone’s Janet finds that contracting HIV has optimism about the way we cope with with a sixty year-old woman at its cen- Elizabeth Hodder, author of The improved her social life. “About a year personal misfortune, and sadness at tre. My sister, sixteen and with-it, Book of Old Tarts (as in the baked into her diagnosis,” Coupland tells us, the way support groups are often the loved this book, and so did my mum goods), will be talking about her “Janet found herself, for the first time only way to make connections with and dad. book and giving out free samples. in recent memory, with plenty to talk other people in a work-crazed world. All Families Are Psychotic is a sweet, Saturday, 6th October, 11:30am- about.” Another character is upset to This idea of the support group has sharp book, full of surprises. It is, I 1pm. Free.

Beryl Bainbridge will be reading from and signing copies of her new novel, According to Queeney. Thursday, 11th October, 6:30-8pm. Ticket (£1) required, but the price goes towards the purchase of any Is it mystery fiction? Beryl Bainbridge book during the night. Sarah Savitt pronounces Ruth Rendell, The Queen of Crime, guilty as charged

Piranha to Scurfy England with rather strange sexual even seem to come romance novel. In ‘Beach Butler’, a There is no ‘mysterious’ situation in manners particularly intrigued me, from a tacky woman realises that the ‘beach butler’ the collection that cannot be Ruth Rendell and its longer length allowed for a only has sex with her because of an explained through guilt-induced hal- i (Random House) greater building of suspense. expensive watch that she has found; lucinations, or human harassment, However, I still would not describe this leads her to throw the and little actual crime or violence is read Ruth Rendell’s newest short this collection as ‘good literary writ- watch into the sea, described on the page – everything has story collection, Piranha to Scurfy, ing.’ Rendell is obviously fascinated ‘empowering’ herself. The already happened or is lurking as a Iin order to solve a mystery: is her with words and their meanings; she story ends there and its threat. In this way Rendell stretches crime fiction so good as to surpass highlights, for example, the odd simplistic finish and lack of her genre to its fullest capacity, allow- genre, to become more than ‘just’ coincidence of mummy (mother) any ‘mystery’ make it seem ing the human mind to create all the good mystery reading? Rendell herself and Egyptian mummy, and at completely out of place and haunting necessary for good entertain- seems to think so; the narrator in the another point relates a charac- basically just silly. ment. But these innovations are, in first story (‘Piranha to Scurfy’) ter’s realisation of what the The most interesting feature the end, harmed by her pedestrian describes a crime novelist whose ‘good word ‘bridled’ (often used in of the collection is Rendell’s writing style, and I often just literary writing’ gives him widespread print, but not in speech) preoccupation with guilt, skimmed over her prose, racing to critical acclaim even outside the genre, looks like in the flesh. silence, and memory, often as cross the punch line finish. and I couldn’t help but think Rendell But this fascination with intertwined themes. In ‘The was referring to herself. The main words does not translate Wink’, a woman’s guilt about her character of the same story is a highly into Rendell using them rape lifts after she makes the rapist critical reader who writes to authors very artfully herself. The himself feel ashamed. Although it is about their grammatical and factual writing isn’t embarrass- another neatly twisted ending, the mistakes, and rarely actually enjoys ingly bad, but neither is story skilfully illustrates the way that reading. But even he is hooked on this it particularly note- guilt interacts with memory. ‘The ‘good literary writing,’ though for worthy; it mainly Wink’ also touches on someone trying more sinister reasons than most are. does its job of telling to erase a memory through silence, a So was I reading all night as well? the stories. theme mirrored in ‘The Professionals’. Well, no, though this is not to say that There are also Many of the plots, indeed, hinge on the stories aren’t entertaining. All of quite a few fusty someone’s silence or ‘crime’ of omis- them end on a twist – a psychic is clichés about sion of not revealing another’s deed. killed by a ‘ghost’ who turns out to be Americans, (the This silence, in turn, causes the person all-too-real, for example–and there is male ones all with the knowledge to feel isolated, little to slow you down since descrip- look like Tom Cruise), and the isolation of an individual in a tion and long conversations are kept the wealthy, intellectuals, and social setting (be it a party or a village) to a minimum. The story ‘High homeless people (all addicted to crack also crops up frequently in various sto- Mysterious Union,’ about a town in cocaine). Sometimes scenes and words ries.

Always Meaning to Read: My course Re-Reading from Childhood: Growing Tables turn on Tuckett books. Actually, I’ve always meant to read up in Australia, I didn’t learn to read until Currently Reading: I’m currently reading Men are from Mars, Women are from I arrived at University.... Actually, I used Literature a biography of Colette. I find Colette con- Venus, which sounds incredibly patronis- to read ad nauseam, only everything obvi- on the bedside table tinually fascinating – someone who man- ing in an American psychobabble way. ously made such an impression that it has aged to combine writing, acting, journal- Re-Reading: Shakespeare. I always cry passed into my subconscious. When I ism, controversy, and an incredible physi- when Macbeth begins his “she should was thirteen, I had my first poem pub- This week Sarah Savitt cal appetite and passion for life. If anyone have died hereafter” speech or when Lear lished in an anthology called Loose interrogates Jennifer ever asked me to compile one of those lists is going through his ‘mad on the heath’ Change. I still get it out at dinner parties of ‘dead people you would invite to din- phase. (Except in my own productions, and force people to read it and pretend it Tuckett, ‘CamDrama’ ner’, Colette could sit at the head of my where I just mouth words of dismay at the is good. I might show it to Colette if she Mover & Shaker table. actors from the wings....) asks.

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Please join us: Robinson College Monday 8 October 2001 6.30pm-10.30pm

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THE IDEA: Advise Unilever and help them raise $24 billion to buy Bestfoods. THE PEOPLE: The analysts, associates, executive and managing directors of Goldman Sachs. THE OUTCOME: The largest ever all-cash, cross-border transaction.

Issued by Goldman Sachs International, regulated by the Securities and Futures Authority.©Goldman, Sachs & Co., 2001. All rights reserved. 5 October 2001 34 ARTSFILM www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A

Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet Starring: Audrey Tautou, Mathiou Kassovitz, Yolande Moreau Certificate 15 Running time: 121 minutes France 2001 Amélie Showing at The Arts Picture House Kate McNaughton is enchanted by Jeunet’s poetic new film our million viewers flocked to this neighbour offends her one day, she sits on Relative newcomer Audrey Tautou, as The big novelty for Jeunet is shooting done in that vein. Then, we cleared the film in the first five weeks of its the roof of his house while he is watching Amélie, offers an exquisite performance, on location. When asked in an interview streets of all cars, cleaned the graffiti off Fbeing screened in France, and a football match and unplugs his televi- which will doubtless lead to a flourishing why he decided to shoot outside a studio the walls, replaced posters with more after its critically acclaimed British pre- sion aerial every time a goal is scored. The career. Kassovitz, far removed from his for the first time, he replied: “Because colourful ones, etc. Let’s just say I tried to miere at the Edinburgh Film Festival, film continues in this vein with a succes- role in La Haine, is similarly endearing as sooner or later, I needed to get out of exert as much control as I could upon the the Amélie effect seems all set to sweep sion of witty, anecdotal scenes, as Amélie, an unlikely Prince Charming in this there! And the story was right for it, I city’s aesthetic quality. And working with over the UK... Some French critics now a young woman, decides to set some quirky love story. They are surrounded by wanted Paris to be there, at the heart of digital post-production was great because expressed surprise at we were able to the way this light- make rectifications hearted, rather unas- all the way to the last suming film could moment, to the final become such an frame...” And indeed immediate hit, even “the city’s aesthetic accusing it of quality” really does Hollywood-style shine forth from this sentimentalism; but film, with the careful Amélie has ignored composition and these embittered colours of every voices, driven on by shot. This is proba- a simple but deep- bly what is so rooted joy for life. refreshing about This is a feel-good Amélie and why movie at its artistic audiences have so height. In his fourth rightfully appreciat- feature-length film, ed it; in the face of Jean-Pierre Jeunet an industry which has let loose his either tries to impressive and origi- impress with blood nal creative powers and gore, or to but has lost the dark- relieve with saccha- ness of his earlier rine, a piece of cine- productions. He matic poetry has flit- retains his ability to ted in. Welcome to create a whole new and weirdly beauti- the world of Amélie Poulain: “A shy ful world (think of the City of Lost wrongs right in the world. But of course, a host of strong supporting roles, with the picture. But, like Kurosawa, I believe young woman with a pronounced taste Children), and it is into this aesthetical- while she has a gift for altering other peo- many (usually interestingly misshapen) that ‘every shot should be like a painting.’ for all of life’s small pleasures: immersing ly heightened vision of Montmartre ple’s lives, she cannot seem to do I cannot help but be ‘aesthetic’. I one’s hand in a sack of grain, cracking the that we immerse ourselves. the same for herself – especially This is a feel-good movie at its searched in Parisian imagery for crust of a creme brulée with the back of a We first encounter Amélie as a young, when handsome and dreamy everything that appeals to me, teaspoon or skipping stones on the Canal single child being brought up by two Nino Quincampoix, “part-time artistic height. stuff one finds in Tardi’s comic Saint Martin. On the night of August miserable and stern parents. Completely cashier at ‘Palace Video, King of strips. He and I are drawn to the 13th 1997, it suddenly hits her: she must isolated from other children, she grows Porno’” and collector of photo-booth faces recognizable from Jeunet’s earlier same things; elevated metro trains, cer- repair the bungles in other people’s lives. up yearning for love and with a strong strips and concrete footprints, comes films: notably Dominique Pinon, Rufus, tain monuments, staircases, burnstone But who’s going to take care of the bun- sense of justice; after her next-door onto the scene... Serge Merlin. buildings... All my location scouting was gles in her life?”

Director: Frank Oz Starring: Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando Certificate 15 Nul points Running time: 123 minutes USA 2001

Neil Ramsorrun knows The Score on the new De Niro – Brando collaboration

rando and De Niro on screen largely about how chance can scupper our magically accommodating rucksack.) that they’ll get away with it like most excited we would get when he put the together for the first time, with Ed best laid plans. Planning ways round the But the problem with this film is that movie crooks before them. As a result, two Godfathers side by side, so it’s sad BNorton completing the line-up. potential pitfalls of the operation and we never really feel engaged. Frank Oz The Score doesn’t grip you as a thriller that he had no idea what to do with That was all I needed to know. The accounting for all the ‘what ifs’ are there- tries to sketch Nick as a non-risk taking should until the final ten minutes, when either them, or us, when he got us there. prospect of these two colossuses and their fore the flesh and bones of the plot and it character, taking a risk for the first time in two twists are tacked on. By this time, I had entered Warner Bros. with expecta- young pretender meeting had me salivat- is the constant threats to these plans that his life with everything to lose. Yet the though, I’d become so unresponsive to tion levels high, but sadly, like the lover ing profusely all the way to the Grafton cause tension. Only here they don’t. film plods along laboriously and fails to the plot that the intended Sixth Sense with an untimely limp partner, I realised Centre. When Nick is nearly caught emerging build up any real sense of threat to Nick’s effect almost passed me by. I’d gotten all hot and bothered for De Niro is Nick, a quiet everyday jazz from a manhole by a policeman, having security. It becomes easy to just assume Frank Oz must surely have known how nothing. club owner who moonlights as a code- just been illegally loitering in sewers, I cracking safe-busting big money thief in didn’t care. his spare time. Longing to give up the The Score is not a bad film. Brando typ- game and retire to his jazz club, Nick is ically puffs and wheezes his way through lured into ‘one last job’ by ageing fence a small part, ad-libbing many of his lines Max (Brando). The booty: a sixteenth and adding a relaxed, often comic touch It becomes easy to just assume that they’ll get away with it like most movie crooks before them.

century French sceptre. The prize: $30m to the script while De Niro is everything for selling the booty. The problem: it’s we have come to expect; trademark inside the basement of Montreal scowls and shoulder-shrugs aplenty. But Customs House, the most secure fortress it is Norton that wins the acting plaudits in the entire universe, as they always are. here, including a cheeky Dustin Max puts Nick in touch with his man on Hoffman-esque performance as autistic the inside, Jack (Norton), who has been Brian. (The final heist scene itself is a slick casing the joint disguised as a mentally enough rehearsal of the same old formu- retarded janitor called Brian, and togeth- la, embellished by fancy gadgetry, snazzy er they formulate a foolproof plan. computers and more chains and pulleys As are most heist movies, The Score is than realistically should fit into De Niro’s Photo: ImageNet 5 October 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSFILM 35

Love, La Haine tragedy 10 Oct, 7pm, 95 min VIEWING VITRIOL Vinz is Jewish, Huber is and tigers Kate McNaughton investigates life, film and the Universe black and Abdel is about to die. "Heard about the This week at the ith Swordfish being hastily mass graves in Serbia, starving of immunity to horrific images that guy who fell off a sky- Arts Picture House removed from UK and US Ethiopians, or Afghan executions. they can sit in front of a television and scraper? On his way down Wscreens after the recent acts Granted, the information needs to be munch on a pizza while they watch a past each floor, he kept The Arts Picture House has of terrorism in New York and passed on, and people need to be Romanian child die before their eyes, saying to reassure himself: always been committed to Washington, and various dis- one has to question the So far so good... so far so screening as diverse a selec- aster movie productions in CRITIC’S CHOICE worth of such broadcasts. good... so far so good. tion of films as possible. Hollywood being cancelled, 1 La Haine The camera is a great objec- How you fall doesn't mat- This week is no exception the American film industry is Kassovitz’s insight into liberté, egalité and fraternité. tifier (after all, it does rob ter. It's how you land!" with a mélange of new and suddenly in an awkward posi- 2 Amélie people of their souls), as the The first sequence in this old, east and west on show. tion. Explosions, it seems, are Jeunet leaves aliens far behind for a wander through American media have under- abrasive French film shows Hiroshima mon amour, no longer cool. John Travolta Montmartre. stood: broadcasting images TV reports of rioting on La Haine and Le Mépris are playing a mean, bad-ass ter- 3 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon of the WTC victims would the Paris housing projects: all showing as part of the rorist motherfucker is no Your feet won’t touch the ground during Ang Lee’s roman- be disrespectful because it we learn that a police gun Modern European Cinema longer cool. The American tic epic. would reduce them to the has been stolen and an season. media generally, which usually 4 Enigma status of the news items to Arab boy seriously injured. think nothing of broadcasting There’s one code Scott can’t crack in this adaptation of which we are so sadly used The boy in hospital is live police raids on prime-time Robert Harris’ novel. and de-sensitised. Abdel and the thief is his Hiroshima mon TV, have suddenly acquired 5 Moulin Rouge Now that explosions really friend Vinz. In 1995, amour an unusual candour. In an All you need is love. Ask Baz Luhrman. do happen in America, Kassovitz won the best exceptional act of self-censor- Hollywood is going to have director award at Cannes 8 Oct, 3pm, 91 min ship, no American news pro- UK BOX OFFICE TOP FIVE to define the new cool. No for this insight into the gramme (in fact, no news pro- 1 A.I.Artificial Intelligence doubt it will still involve disaffected gangland of During a brief fling with a grammes at all) has broadcast 2 Moulin Rouge! blowing people up (bearded Northern Paris. Despite Japanese man in post-atom- images of the corpses at the 3 The Fast and the Furious, men in turbans, perhaps?), Kassovitz’s respect for ic Hiroshima, a French World Trade Centre, out of 4 A Knight’s Tale but the baddies are unlikely artistic form, including the woman recollects her affair respect for the victims and 5 Scary Movie 2 to be the ones with style unities of time, action and with a German soldier dur- their families. now. With George W. Bush’s space, the social story is ing the war. Beautifully Which is no bad thing. The WHICH FILM? inane comments about a one of division and dis- scripted by Marguerite inhabitants of New York and “In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, “war of good against evil” cord. WLB Duras, and highly experi- Washington have suffered terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced still ringing in everybody’s mental in its use of flash- enough. No-one needs to see Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In minds, there is no doubt back and montage, Resnais' this carnage, at least not now; Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of that Hollywood, with its Hiroshima mon amour is a in fifty years time perhaps, democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuck- oversimplistic and edulco- complex and moving explo- such images may serve as a oo clock.” rated vision of the world, ration of the interaction valuable testimony, but at the will soon pick up again. If between memory and histo- moment they would indeed seem shocked by the horror of what is going you thought Pearl Harbor was bad, ry, and our public and pri- indecent. It is a shame that it does not on in these distant lands. But when brace yourselves – the propaganda vate worlds. If only Michael seem indecent to broadcast images of Western audiences reach such a level machine is about to roll... Bay had watched this before directing Pearl Harbor. KMcN Medea Mise en scène 11/14 Oct, 3pm, 118 min Kate McNaughton examines Iberian Surrealism The ‘Tragedy on Film’ pro- Le Mépris gramme continues with in which we witness the excruciating the film are meant to relate to some Medea, Pier Paolo Who? close-up of an eye being sliced by a kind of reality, and which are dreams 11 Oct, 7pm, 103 min Pasolini's interpretation of Luís Buñuel, Salvador Dalí. razor. unfolding in a character’s mind. Euripides. The eponymous Surrealism petered out as a move- Jean-Luc Godard's stylish princess exacts a terrible Where and when? ment during the 1930s, but its influ- How to find out more? film is well worth seeing, revenge on her husband Paris, 1920s and 30s. ence was felt long after that and Viridiana, one of Buñuel’s later films, even if only to see Brigitte Jason (of the Argonauts and Buñuel went on to a long directing is showing at the Arts Picture House on Bardot frustrate her dis- the quest for the Golden Classics of the genre? career, still challenging the old bour- Monday 15th October. Though it is in tracted husband with lan- Fleece) for marrying anoth- Buñuel and Dalí collaborated on Un geois conventions with displacing jux- many ways a more conventional film guid, one-word lines. er woman. Not as well Chien andalou (An Andalusian Dog) tapositions and warped narratives. The than many of Buñuel’s others, it still Contempt is a cynical take known as his other venture and L’Age d’or (The Age of Gold). Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, one bears the stamp of the director’s per- on Godard's own life. into Greek mythology, of his most famous later films, con- sonal obsessions, and, by winning the The director vents his Oedipus Rex, Medea still What’s it all about? stantly strays from its own narrative as Palme d’Or at Cannes, firmly reassert- anger at the film industry exhibits Pasolini's brilliant Surrealism developed in the visual arts its various characters drift off at a din- ed his place on the cinematic land- using Fritz Lang and a interweaving of contrasting in the 1920s, in the continuation of ner party, without the audience ever scape during the 1960s. brilliantly crass Jack plot developments, as seen the Dada movement. It was led by being quite sure which sequences of Palance as figures at oppo- in The Decameron and such artists as Breton, Ernst, Dali, site ends of the business. Arabian Nights. NR Miro and Klee. Like Dada, Surrealism In a tense atmosphere on a challenged traditional aesthetic con- secluded fragment of spec- ventions, particularly with the use of tacular coastline, Michel Crouching Tiger, weird juxtapositions. Piccoli battles with his Hidden Dragon Unlike its predecessor, however, it was character's disgust at ele- heavily influenced by the then-new ments of the film-maker's 8 Oct, 3pm, 91 min theories of psychoanalysis, and sought trade, as embodied by the to explore and express the workings of arrogant American pro- Breathtaking fight scenes the unconscious mind. Surrealism thus ducer upon whom he must (choreographed by Yuen Wo often used incoherent, dream-like nar- depend for funding. As Ping of The Matrix) against a ratives as the basis for its imagery, and the producer becomes backdrop of the serene, mys- the medium of film obviously provid- more overbearing in the tical beauty of its setting ed artists with exciting new opportuni- minimalist surroundings, mean you don't get the full ties. Several Surrealist films were made Bardot toys with adultery, picture of Ang Lee's during the 1920s (notably by Man Ray making her husband's Crouching Tiger, Hidden and Germaine Dulac), but the move- predicament all the more Dragon unless you watch it ment found its epitome in Bunuel desperate and driving him on the expanse of a cinema (then a novice director) and Dali’s col- to an edge which Godard screen. With this mythical laborations. Both Un Chien andalou leaves undefined amongst tale, Lee won the Best and L’Age d’or have vague basic plots, the cliff faces. An intense Foreign Language Film on top of which a dream-like narrative film with great acting and Oscar last year, but more sig- perverts notions of logic and causality. French cigarettes, nificantly, he reinvented the Erotic and often very dark imagery Contempt is a quiet classic. flagging martial arts movie pervades both films, as in the famous SSB genre. NR opening sequence of Un Chien andalou 5 October 2001 36 ARTSTHEATRE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A Dick tricks fail to arouse Laura Davies was less than impressed by these puppets... n unusually expectant hush, a reveal white weedy bodies clad only in titious creations the quality of the per- and leaving most of the audience unim- quickening beat from the sound white socks and trainers. Steve and Dan formance quickly deteriorated. It may pressed. Circus tricks such as hand- Asystem, a few nervous giggles, certainly had the audience in hysterics, be a skill to ‘construct’ an emu that stands, running through the aisles and an interminable pause, and then even- and rightly so. This opening scene was tually a voice from the dark and lights Butlin’s style cabaret entertainment in All would have been better placed in a up to reveal… no not ‘two men, two overdrive, complete with dry ice, musi- dicks, no pants’ as the Puppetry of the cal fanfares and lighting effects in glori- drunken fresher’s bop where at least Penis advertising so boldly promises ous technicolour; not to mention the but rather a fully clad female figure added extra of the huge cinema screen the entertainment is free and the exit going by the name of Jo Caulfield. ‘Are which enlarged the ‘puppets’ to a dis- you disappointed?’ the support act concerting four or five always open. comic enquired, obviously keen to feet prove her somewhat unremarkable looks identical to the Loch Ness offering to look up each other’s arses skills of perception. Of course the audi- Monster and a kangaroo that bears were embarrassing and ineffective. All ence, not willing to stand on ceremony, more than a striking resemblance to a would have been better placed in a replied with a resounding and hardly turtle, but it doesn’t make for an enrap- drunken fresher’s bop where at least the unsurprising ‘yes’. tured audience. After a good start the entertainment is free and the exit She need not have worried. Her half novelty wore off and always open. hour routine was by far the best part of stunts involving So a tip for the puppeteers… since we the evening. Intelligent and contempo- beer all learnt way back in primary school rary she warmed up the self-conscious that it’s not big and it’s not clever to and the brazen alike with an effective bring our bodily quirks to show and combination of celebrity scrutiny, tales tell, I suggest that if you are going to of sexual misadventure and toilet take this concept to the level of transat- humour. With a natural, engaging style lantic tours, paying audiences and over- of delivery and effective timing, old priced merchandise, you should learn favourites such as “does size matter” in length, at least two simple facts. Firstly, repeti- were combined with more original and a frankly tion does not equal variety, and second- material and the participation of unsus- gruesome level ly, remaining on stage for the duration pecting audience victims. If her jokes of detail. of your allocated slot is not the same as were aimed primarily at women and if Indeed, for the producing a show. Boasts of celebrity we did feel a bit cheated when the first five minutes, fans such as Posh and Becks and Hugh interval arrived and not a trace of geni- such delights as ‘The Grant and of successes in Australia, talia – male or female had been spotted, Pretty Woman’, ‘The North America and the UK are all very no one held it against her. Brain’, ‘The Boomerang’ well. A spectacle Puppetry of the Penis In retrospect, my thanks must go to and the already legendary mats may be, but in the same way that Jo for saving us from a full hour and ‘Hamburger’ and ‘Eiffel and bearded ladies and dancing bears once three quarters of ‘the ancient Australian Tower’ (the combination of bottle attracted huge audiences; it is clear that art of genital origami’ and limiting the stretching, twisting, folding and tops did curiosity is its only selling point. damage to a mere fifty minutes of tedi- squeezing) proved eye-watering not gener- Judging by the diverse crowd on um. “Tedium?” I hear all you proud but strangely fascinating. One ate much of Monday night, it seems that an ele- and now defensive Y chromosome- thing this show has got going for it a response, mental but oddly non-sexual fascina- bearers cry. “How can the male form is that no one has had the balls to do serving only to tion for bizarre bodily feats is a com- displayed through such a dazzling array it before and of course the genital highlight their mercial winner due to the breadth of its of dick tricks agility and paucity of mate- target market. However, the act and of this cali- inventiveness rial. At this point performers lack polish and profession- bre possibly ...the genital agility and of these self- the performance alism and the aim of creators David be described inventiveness of these professed resorted to the Friend and Simon Morley to rival such as tedious?” ‘Dick Men’ is plain crude, creations as ‘Tap Dogs’ and ‘STOMP’ Believe me, self-professed ‘Dick Men’ undeniable. promptly losing are a pipe dream when, as they say it is possible. Effective any originality themselves: “There’s only so much you Don’t get is undeniable. though their or sophistica- can do with a penis and a couple of tes- me wrong. I shock tactics tion with ticles.” gasped, laughed and stared along with were, they did not prove sufficient to which it So don’t flatter yourselves boys. You the rest at the initial spectacle of two maintain the momentum of the show might once only look well hung on screen and your averagely endowed Aussies casting off nor the level of laughter. In the absence have been customers (probably like your girl- their purple pantomime dame capes to of any plot or links between their repe- credited friends) will never stay faithful. Something stirring in the Labs Anna Jones tells us about the exciting possibilities in Newnham Old Labs. wo years ago Varsity published dent; they were converted into their proximity to the action and by the described the production as being in the pipeline include a performance a piece on the opening of a current status as an arts centre. Labs’ unorthodox space. Instead of “Bittersweet in just the right propor- of Jack Kerouac’s original and exciting Tnew Cambridge drama venue, The Old Labs is one of the most ver- watching a play on a conventional end tions.” Book of Blues - involving actors, a jazz Newnham Old Labs. Unfortunately satile theatrical spaces in Cambridge. stage, the exciting sense of real actor- This term, we are planning to build trio and visual projections. At the end this flexible and exciting space has audience collaboration is more fre- on the success of The World’s Wife with of Michaelmas, The Anonymous since been largely neglected. The com- quently realised here. Of course, this a production of Caryl Churchill’s Players will be inviting applications mittee of Newnham’s drama society, immediacy is the magic of live work innovative 1998 double bill, Blue for performances in the Old Labs dur- The Anonymous Players, has recently and we hope the Old Labs will Heart. Heart’s Desire and Blue Kettle ing Lent term. changed hands and we, the new com- become a venue that promotes intelli- mittee, are not planning to live up to gent and imaginative performances. We are keen to encourage more drama our name… Last term, prior to going to the The Old Labs began their life in the Edinburgh Festival, Midas and theatrical events in Newnham late nineteenth century as science lab- Productions previewed their theatrical oratories for female students. Since version of Carol Ann Duffy’s Old Labs. then they have been put to various acclaimed book of poems The World’s uses, from being an artist’s studio to Wife, to great success in the Old Labs. are two related short plays, examining Auditions for Blue Heart will be held less auspiciously, a garden shed. It was We were delighted with the audience family ties in a surreal yet engaging on Saturday and Sunday 12-4pm in decided they could be put to better It is light and spacious with high sell outs, and yet another member of manner. the Chetwyn Room in Kings. All are use, and along with some generous white walls and fully flexible seating the useful Newnham mafia, Germaine We are keen to encourage more welcome. It will be performed in financial assistance from Emma arrangements. The atmosphere is Greer, attended the opening night, drama and theatrical events in Newnham Old Labs in the 6th week. Thompson, a former Newnham stu- heightened by the audience’s close giving substantial funding and Newnham Old Labs. Other projects 5 October 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSTHEATRE 37 No more playing about town Anna Jones tells us where Fallen have gone after the Playroom closure he phone call came halfway play by Polly Teale, in Cambridge’s through The Weakest Link. The newest theatre. A one-woman show, Tlovely friendly Playroom, the Fallen dramatises the events surround- venue for which we had been rehears- ing the Kerry Babies case, an investiga- ing the play, had been shut down and tion of the death of a baby boy whose our new theatre was to be the some- body was found on the rocks at what unfortunately named McCrum. Carhirciveen, a coastal town on the The name may well trick the theatre- Irish South Coast. goer into expecting a bread-based At the first rehearsal that I’m granted burger, but in fact the theatre is a hid- admission to, (in my lowly, non-cre- den gem – the plush seats, staging and ative capacity as producer of the show), ...they contemplate restaging the show as a musical ice spectacular... toilets are a far cry from our experi- I turn up to meet Delyth Jones and ences of the Playroom. On the Sam Baldock (performer and director doorstep of the Eagle pub the theatre respectively) and find them in hysterics facilitates maximum efficiency in post- over a glow-in the dark Virgin Mary show drinking. And so the Fletcher that Del has found on the internet and Players, Corpus Christi’s theatre com- is keen to use in the show. Indeed the pany, are proud to present Fallen, a rehearsal often descends into laughter as they contemplate restaging the show as a musical ice spectacular or handing out free Lucky Charms to every audi- ence member every time Del’s Irish accent verges on the leprechaun. Though the piece is reality based, the themes treated, (illegitimate children, infidelity within marriage) do have the potential to be clichéd. However, any slightly uncomfortable ‘issue’ moments are more than compensated for by the play’s sensitive and humorous charac- terisation of Siobhan; her bungled attempt at giving her first boyfriend a handjob in the cinema and her childish musings about the reproductive system Photos: Julian Blake compliment the more serious court case. Fallen looks to be a sensitive and approahable production, which will hopefully benefit from the abrupt change of location. Though it faces stiff competition this week, Fallen will hopefully put the McCrum on the Cambridge theatrical map. THEATRE LISTINGS Electra Embarrassing Arts Theatre, Wednesday 10 – Monday 15, 2.30 & 7.45pm Tickets £5-18 Ben Musgrave surveys the Cambridge theatre ‘scene’ The Cambridge Greek play, performed with English subtitles. This most brilliant of tragedies is given an accesible and professional treatment. A must see. h! Slightly embarrassing ques- a ‘Scene’, with a capital S. This is, after Guardian. Acting in a play here means tion: how do I get involved in the all, only University drama, though you’d auditioning many times, then commit- A Tale of Two Cities ACambridge drama scene. On the hardly believe it sometimes. The few ting yourself to at least two weeks of one hand, I have absolutely no idea how student centres of drama – the (now fairly solid rehearsal with a group of ADC, Sunday 7, 7.45pm to ‘make it’ in Cambridge. Making it in closed?) Playroom and the ADC hardly people. It means performing in near- Tickets £7/5 Cambridge shouldn’t be what constitute the West End. The campish professional facilities to both big and Returning to Cambridge following a highly acclaimed international tour. Maybe not acting/directing here is all about. On the whoops in the ADC bar don’t necessari- humiliatingly tiny audiences. But when a fair adaptation of the wordy original, but can so many pleased critics really be wrong? other hand, I don’t really know what it ly translate into products of pure the- all is said and done it means riotous should be about, but I’ve certainly had a atrical magic every time. Yet when it drunken end-of-show parties. lot of fun in the process. comes down to it, drama at this univer- Ben Musgrave Footlights: Far Too Happy I suspect I’m on slightly dangerous sity is taken very seriously by a large ADC, Tuesday 9 – Saturday 13, 7.45pm mud, trying to talk about a drama number of (occasionally) talented peo- Tickets Tue-Thur £6/4 Fri and Sat £7/5 ‘scene’, but holding your nose and ple. Getting involved means finding Nominated for Perrier Best Newcomers at this years Fringe, the Footlights return to jumping into Cambridge drama always yourself part of a juggernaut that fre- Cambridge to take you “on a taxi ride to the dark side of what makes people feel good.” amounts to more than just acting in a quently gobbles up your social as well ADC, Sunday 9, 11pm play and then going home to sleep. theatrical life. It can be exciting, exhila- What people want and get out of it rating, stimulating and challenging as varies. For some, it becomes a way of life well as aggravating, tiring and frustrat- Footlights: Smokers that ends up, (possibly through a lack of ing. The drama system here sometimes Tickets £3.50 imagination, possibly through some feels like a doll’s house version of the The testing ground for flowering and failing comedians. Don’t expect slick proffe- kind of inspiration), extended into a ‘real world’ – with a sense that plays sionalism, but you might just have a few hearty laughs at some pretty natural comedy. sparkling career. For others, drama here matter (they often do financially), that a ADC , Wednesday 9, 11pm may be a brief egotistical flirtation that good performance will launch a career has no more design to fame and fortune into the firmament, that new theatrical than the possibility of Mam coming to ground can be broken. The model is Tony Ponzi presents see it. It’s conceivable that some even get completed by the reviews published in Tickets £3 involved simply because they enjoy it. Varsity and TCS, which are often debat- Antonio Ponzi, seventies record label supremo, tries hard to remember the seven- As has been slyly hinted above, it does ed as ferociously as anything Michael ties in this bizzare musical comedy. seem vaguely aggrandising to talk about Billington could pop into The 5 October 2001 38 ARTSTHEATRE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A Romeo and Juliet AUDITIONS A tale of star-crossed lovers, set against a to “modernise” what is essentially a piece puppet, to the sound of earily effective Jonathan Stewart on pursuing dreams violent backdrop of feuding houses… of timeless drama, complete with “where- music (from Tarik O’Reagan’s original fore art thou” raps and the like. The score). Having the nurse played by a man ive it a go – that seems to be the Who is your typical auditionee? There ang on a second. You know, I sparsely filled firstnight audience may well (Adam Seddon) was similarly interesting, motto of freshers’ week, as every are several broad bands of thesps out there know, the whole Western World have shared my mistrust of jazzed-up acted in a “League of Gentleman meets Gwelfare officer, society rep, and who emerge to try and win directorial Hknows how this one goes. Such Shakespeare. However, what followed was Widow Twanky” manner, and bringing anyone on the pull will tell you. Drama is favour; this is excluding the uber-thesps, overexposure of an undoubted master- a rather disappointing and traditional, if out the comedy of the role well. However, just the same, and this weekend sees a ver- cast three years before they arrive in piece really challenged CUAST to do well executed, rendering of the text. breaks from the norm, and the inclusion itable feast of theatrical opportunities in Cambridge. First, there is the budding something a little different. They respond- Having presented the play as such, per- of music, were rare enough for the audi- Cambridge. It’s auditions time and, love professional; and there are many of those ed nobly, albeit with only partial success. haps the director, Rachel Grunwald, ence’s expectations to be, like Romeo’s, them or loathe them, if you want to tread in our little drama community. They have Before the curtain came up, I idly would have done well to heed her hero- “left unsatisfied”. those hallowed boards, now is your agents galore, Hollywood offers, and three perused the flyer, and my heart sunk at the ine’s advice “I should have been more Having said all that, the play was impres- chance to shine. years training at the National. Second, words “unique edition of the text” and strange.” The most innovative moment of sive in many ways, with truly fine per- you have the eager many, wanting to get “original live score”. I was thus fully the production was a marvellous scene in formances given by the 8 members of the into those starring roles but without a dra- expecting a Baz Luhrman-esque attempt which Mercutio acts a sequence with a cast, who showed remarkable versatility in matic CV stretching back a lifetime. acting all 18 parts between them. A real Another faction, quite small in our talent- highlight was Juliet, played by Sophie ridden environment, can best be Elmhurst, who brought exactly the right described as the willing. They’ll give it all mix of joy and despair to a play which is so they have, and their pure energy is conta- much to do with the closeness of emo- gious, but their acting talents may be tional extremes. Romeo (Jon Reynolds) scarce! was a tad drippy for the romantic hero, Auditions can be just as stressful on the giving his duologues with Juliet an air of other side of the table. Directors can often adolescent first-date, even in the closing be found anxiously checking their watch scenes. However, the play’s strength lay in for ANYONE to arrive, only for someone the uniformly high quality of its actors, to turn up and realise this isn’t the inau- the smoothness of direction and the slick gural meeting of the Cambridge stage-management. Transgender Society. Moreover, when a This production of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ director has invested hours to his vision, fails to do justice to itself, and one comes seeing the words of Shakespeare tortured away from the potrayal of “loving hate” can often be too much to bear. feeling neither of these extremes; a mood Whatever your stance on auditions, more pastel-pink, (as worn rather unin- there is no doubt that if you’ve got the spiringly by the cast), than red. If you guts to give it a go, the results can be great. accept that it fails to do what it promises, this play marks a promising a start to the Look out for Jonathan Stewart’s less than dramatic year. terrifying auditions for the company Claire Leigh Activated Image this weekend

Cambridge University RUFC Varsity Online is looking Blues' Michaelmas Term Fixtures at Grange Road October to recruit. We are searching Tuesday 2nd v Cambridge (7.15 pm) Tuesday 9th v Northampton (7.15 pm) Saturday 13th v Aberavon (3 pm) for section editors to Tuesday 30th v London Wasps (7.15 pm)

November create new material Tuesday 6th v Crawshays Welsh XV (7.15 pm) Tuesday 13th v Bedford (7.15 pm) exclusive to online. Wednesday 28th v Steele-Bodger XV (3 pm) Varsity Match at Twickenham on Tuesday 11 December (2.00 pm) For further information telephone CURUFC for more infocontact: Office – 01223 354131 [email protected] 5 October 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk SPORT 39 Gown falls to Town in thriller

Women’s Hockey creating several chances up the right. the future. They are looking to min- emulate the impressive performances Saturday, the Blues are facing Bury St. One such foray into the circle about imise the slow start that dogs all of the Nomads and the Bedouins who Edmunds at home (11am, 2 Cambridge University 20 minutes into the first half resulted University sides at the start of the sea- decisively defeated Ely II and III Wilberforce Road) whilst the Nomads 4 City of Cambridge in a short corner. Jenny Parkinson, son as new players filter in, and aim to teams, 4-0 and 5-0 respectively. This travel to Saffron Walden. acquainting herself with her new role Laura Sorenson as centre forward, drilled the ball against the backboard to put the stu- The clouds over St. Catherine’s dent side in front. After missing a College astro parted on Saturday penalty flick shortly after the universi- afternoon, and the torrential rain sub- ty side scored, City’s experience sided to just mild spitting, as the Blues showed as they fought back from this Women’s Hockey Team met deficit to equalise with an equally Cambridge City Ladies 1st XI in a impressive short corner just prior to Printwize East Premier Division clash. the half time whistle. With just five girls remaining from The first ten minutes of the second last season’s Varsity squad of sixteen, half were somewhat disappointing for the Blues contained several new faces, the students, as they conceded two along with some other older ones. simple goals. Far from being downcast Rebe Joyner, Blues’ captain of 1999- however, they played impressive 2000 season, and Anna Kropelnicki, attacking hockey, and narrowly missed keeper from the same era, both scoring from an exciting passage of returned to represent the side, that has open play that cracked open the City adopted an attacking new 5-3-2 for- defence. City’s tenacious attitude and mation. This move has been initiated skilful forwards won them another by new coach David Richardson, who goal within ten minutes of time, but joins the club this season as an experi- the Blues struck back, again through enced coach with England U21, and Jenny Parkinson, to score close to the who saw all three university teams final whistle. through a gruelling schedule of pre Though disappointed with the season training last week. result, which leaves them languishing The Blues, new to this league follow- at the bottom of the league, the Blues ing promotion from Division One last were satisfied with their strong per- season, started the game aggressively, formance, which promises much for Photo: Catherine Harrison Bike nuts Getting piste again

Cycling last performance in the National 25 is Winter Sports nificant discounts on equipment hire and Oxford overall, with the women’s team a joint best ever placing in this event lessons over standard resort rates. However thrashing the dark blue side. The team by a CUCC rider. The only other seriously you want to take the skiing or also competed in the British Universities Chris Wallwork Joe Faraday, Club President CUCC rider to have been placed as boarding there will be someone at the Ski Club’s Championships. Once again, 2001 has been a mixed year for highly is Mike Hutchinson, who is This year will be the 79th Varsity Ski and same level as you. the women’s team gave the rest of the crew Cambridge University Cycling Club. now a professional cyclist and who Snowboard Trip and promises to be the There are several improvements this year a real boost, coming second in both the On the one hand the “roadies” had yet was placed 23rd at the 65éme Grand biggest ever. Last year there were over 700 including online booking – which means slalom and technical slalom. They were another extremely successful year with Prix des Nations amongst a field con- Oxbridge students who went on the trip you can pay by credit card – and don't just beaten by Loughborough overall, who a lot of strong competition within the taining many Tour de France cyclists. and this year we are expecting over 1000. have any of the hassle of posting forms as beat them by less than a second in the club. On the other hand, the moun- Maybe Duncan’s result will be the The trip is being organised by Skiworld in in previous years. This also means that the Giant Slalom. Ex-President Juliet Malley tain bikers had appallingly bad luck launch pad for a truly storming season association with the trip committee. It is deposit of £50 will be taken from your and current women’s captain Abi Carswell with many events, including the next year. one of the best events in the Oxbridge cal- credit card and will therefore be refunded led the team and were also in the top ten Varsity Match, being cancelled due to On top of Duncan Alexander’s suc- ender for meeting other students who are more quickly after the trip. If you have any in the individual races. The event also the Foot and Mouth epidemic. cess, Rachel Horn also won the BUSA not in your college or faculty and is like a problems with booking online you can involved snowboard races with Pete In March, Duncan Alexander, Rob 10, which completed a clean sweep of two week long freshers’ week celebration. contact one of the college reps Medland, CUSSC Snowboard Captain Driver and Gareth Williams won the women’s club records, and won bronze The trip is suitable for all levels of skiers (Cambridge) or the Club Committee coming 6th in the individual races. The men’s Varsity match while Rachel in the National 25 and National 100. and boarders. In the second week there are (Oxford). teams also reached the finals of the King’s Horn was the fastest competing Rachel, CUCC women’s and triathlon Varsity Races and Competitions in both Booking starts on October 1st and ends Ski Club British Universities dry slope woman, although Oxford could not secretary, was recently featured on skiing and snowboarding which provide when it's sold out – in previous years this championships, with the women’s team put out a full team. Since then, ITV’s coverage of the International an exciting focus for participants and spec- has been mid November. If you wish to coming third. Duncan has continued to go from Half-Ironman in Llanberis where she tators alike. If, however, you have never fly, you have to book by November 1st w strength to strength. He comfortably finished an excellent fourth. For the been on snow before, the trip is one of the and this is subject to availability. web www.varsitytrip.co.uk won the BUSA 10 mile time-trial (in mountain bikers, there was one event best value ski holidays available with sig- Last year, the Cambridge team beat w which Cambridge came second overall which managed to escape the F&M with the team of Alexander, Driver countryside clampdown. Danny and Melville), finished twelfth in the Lanyi, who clearly hadn’t had his fill National 10 and surpassed himself by of stimulant-fuelled all-nighters dur- coming fifth in the National 25. This ing term time, took part in the Red Bull 24hr. His team, Fenomenon, fin- ished 34th out of over 300 in this insane 24hr MTB relay over one of the most bumpy courses around. The club now looks forward to the training camp in the Peak district next month and the rescheduled MTB 2001 Varsity match in November. Later on in the year there is the BUSA 10 which is being hosted by Cambridge this year as well as Cuppers and finally the MTB and Road Varsity Matches. Before any of that, however, there is the European Antennas Intro 10. This event, like this year’s Cuppers, is open to non- members, so turn up on 13th October, pay your 50p and have a go. w web www.cucc.co.uk Photo: Ski World w TOWNIE BASHING Rugby Union the pressure. Ten minutes later, Blathwayt, who had been slicing through 56 Cambridge University the City of Cambridge defence almost at will, did so again, despite having to stall 7 City of Cambridge his run to receive Howard’s pass. He was tackled just before the line, but openside Hilary Weale James Johnson was running by in support like a flanker should, and crossed the line. Town-Gown clashes are always vitriolic so The best was still to come. Winger Aki it came as a sweet surprise when the Blues Abiola, a first year at Catz, has impressed dominated this encounter. That the in schoolboy rugby for some time. He opposition were weaker than the side that now stepped up, and although denied a beat the University last season should not hat trick by a last-ditch tackle in the cor- detract from a very impressive and enter- ner, ran in two lovely tries. The first came taining performance by the Blues on from a turnover thanks to solid tackling Tuesday night, playing their first home in the midfield by Blathwayt. The second game of the season. The match had bare- followed minutes later after a swift and ly begun before the Blues were awarded a skilful pass out of the tackle by Edwards penalty in front of the posts, and three to Newmarch. Newmarch committed his points gained from this and another on man in the resulting two-on-one and eleven minutes established a platform that then passed on to Abiola, who ran round was consolidated throughout by a solid under the posts. 49-7 up, the Blues didn’t effort from the pack. The placekicking of let up, pinning the visitors into their own fly half Sam Howard was by no means the half and seeking another score. With only aspect of his game that deserves Abiola bearing down upon them, the praise. He varied his game intelligently, Photo: Catherine Harrison defence failed to deal with a chip through swinging the ball out wide and kicking and Johnson picked up the loose ball to for territory as seemed appropriate, and swift hands and feet of the University cen- attack with some committed and well- minute of the restart after half time, the go in for his second of the match. dealing with a number of dangerous pass- tres, Tom Blathwayt and Owen Edwards, organised defence, and put their scrum Blues extended their lead with another Howard’s conversion was the final score, es to his feet. and the full back Ali Newmarch, com- under great pressure. This almost back- penalty. They then proceeded to concede though Abiola’s hat-trick attempt nearly The Blues had a strong first half and bined. Newmarch took the ball, with over fired on the Blues. They wheeled the several themselves, and the visitors at last put the icing on the cake for his first scored two tries to give them an unassail- half the pitch still to cover, and stretched City’s scrum on their own line to such an replied through a Faatoto Moanunu try home appearance. His next will surely be able lead. The first came from a line out away from the pursuing Cambridge City extent that they were able to break away under the posts. This came about after at the same time next week, 7.15pm at taken at number four by Martin Purdy, defence. Newmarch soon threatened and the University boys had a lot of Blathwayt missed a tackle on their Grange Road, in what will undoubtedly who had a towering game both in the line again, this time down the right flank, but ground to make up to bundle them into replacement centre, Russell Doel, who be a tougher match against and at restarts. As the subsequent rolling was forced to run away from his support. touch upfield. was duly able to get behind the defence. Northampton. However, with as emphat- maul fell over the line, prop Gareth Forde The next two scores came from penalties The Blues went into half time 24 unan- This lapse only served to ignite the home ic a victory as this under their belts, the claimed the five points. Fine drizzle was converted by Howard. As half time swered points to the good, but the two team’s effort, and captain Michael Count Blues should be very positive about both descending by now, but this didn’t damp- approached, the City looked a little liveli- excellent tries of the first half were just a led the way with a try from the ever-effec- their attacking and defensive potential in en proceedings. From the kick-off, the er, but the home team blunted their taster of what was to come. Within a tive rolling maul as the Blues reapplied the coming months. Hockey boys hopes dashed

Men’s Hockey stick shot from fresher Fulford was steered Blues were now in the ascendancy and for into the roof of the net by the goal-sniff- the ensuing ten minutes searched desper- 2 Cambridge ing Stevie Sweet for the opening goal of ately for a winner. But the Essex boys the season. As the Blues pressed for a sec- soaked up the pressure and began to make 3 Chelmsford ond before the break, Chelmsford man- counter-attacks of their own. First they aged to score an equaliser. The opportu- gained a penalty corner only for the shot Russell Abel nity to slot home came about due to some to be charged down by the pace of Russ sloppy marking by the Cambridge Abel. Tragically however, the Blues’ res- Fresher’s Saturday, a day eagerly awaited defence. olute defence was unravelled with just five by all Cambridge students, marked the The change in ends led to a change in minutes left on the clock. A turnover in beginning of a new season and the usher- tempo from the Light Blues. Jamie Parker midfield led to a scrappy goalmouth ing in of new talent for Cambridge made probing runs down the opposition’s scramble that the gutsy Gareth Kenny was University Hockey Club. The day, despite right flank and repeatedly proved too hot unable to clear, and Chelmsford duly took all the excitement it attracts, often proves to handle. Unfortunately no goal came the honours. to be dashed with disappointment. And about and, to make matters worse, While skipper Ian McClive was obvi- so it proved for the gallant gentlemen of Cambridge conceded a goal themselves. ously disappointed by not opening the CUHC. As in any sport, the umpire plays a crucial season with a win, he was “very pleased Cambridge almost got their season off to role and here it was as a result of a contro- with the teams attitude and spirit.” He the worst possible of starts when versial goal that Cambridge fell behind. added, “We played with real grit and Chelmsford wobbled their way into the D Clumsy tackling was seen as something far determination. If we can raise our skill within the opening minute. However more heinous and the Blues were stunned level and tactical awareness we will do very keeper Ashley Artaman produced a fine to see themselves punished with a penalty- well in the league this year.” The punish- save to settle and steady the side. Captain flick, which was duly converted. This was ing pre-season training programme that Ian McClive quickly ironed out the creas- a real test of the Cambridge team’s charac- the Blues have had to endure may not es of confusion under pressure and ter but they showed themselves to be have been enough to secure the victory Cambridge, slowly but surely, began to equal to the challenge. Pressure was final- but with further practice the season is like- take control of a scrappy affair. ly converted into a precious penalty corner ly to be a successful one. Chelmsford seemed to be holding out and Ian McClive provided a thunderbolt Blues: McClive (C), Artaman, Mulryne, well under concerted pressure but capitu- for the ubiquitous Parker to deflect over Abel, Kenny, Cole, Bevan, Parker, Photo: Catherine Harrison lated a quarter of an hour in. A reverse the sprawling Chelmsford keeper. The Fulford, Arshad, Sweet