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SHABBAT SCHEDULE We have The Chafetz chaim Heritage WEEKLY SCHEDULE Minha 6:35pm Foundation Videos as usual. We should see the SUNDAY Shir Hashirim: 6:45pm Bet Hamikdash speedily rebuilt in our days Amen. Shaharit: 6:00am Followed by Kabbalat Shabbat & Hodu approx.: 6:15am Arvit Tisha Beab this Mosae Shabbat & Sunday. Shaharit #2 Hodu 8:30am Candle Lighting: 7:56pm After Shabbat finishes say, “Baruch Hamvdil Minha 6:35pm Shaharit Netz Minyan: 5:35am Ben Kodesh Lehol” & Change shoes & clothing. Followed by Arvit.

Shaharit: 8:45am Kinot, Arvit, & Megilat Echa 9:25pm Zeman Keriat Shema 9:24am Shaharit Morning Tisha Beav at 9:00am MONDAY TO 2nd Zeman Keriat Shema 10:03am Hazot (Midday) is at 1:27pm FRIDAY Early Minha: 2:00pm Chafetz Chaim Videos Times listed below Shaharit 6:00am Minha: 5:45pm Minha at 7:25pm (Please Remember Tallit & Daf Yomi 7:20am Normal Seudat Shelishit at Home Tefillin) Followed by Arvit and Birkat Halevana Shaharit #2 Hodu 8:00am Fast Starts: 8:13 pm Fast Ends: 8:52pm. Please Remember to do Minha 6:35pm Shabbat Ends: 8:56pm Havdalah before eating. Only Hagefen & Hamavdil. Followed by Arvit No Besamim or Meore Haesh. Rabbenu Tam 9:26pm Shiurim 7:05pm

We would like to remind our Kahal Kadosh to please Donate wholeheartedly towards our Beautiful Kehila. Please contact us if you’re interested in donating for any occasion, Avot Ubanim $120, Kiddush $350, Seudat Shelishit $275, Weekly Bulletin $150, Weekly Daf Yomi $180, Daf Yomi Masechet $2500, Yearly Daf Yomi $5000, Weekly Breakfast $150, Daily Learning $180, Weekly Learning $613, Monthly Rent $3500, Monthly Learning $2000, Children’s Shabbat Program $500 & Weekly program $613. Thanking you in advance for your generous support. Tizke Lemitzvot!

בס''ד Donors Column We Sincerely Thank you for your generous contributions this Week! We truly appreciate it! Hashem should Bless you all with Health, Happiness, Parnasah Tova, Success, & All the Berachot of the Torah Amen!

s • Mr. Jacky Benoudiz • Mr. Mordechai Saban • Dr. Jean Paul • Mr. Alain Albergel Courchia • Mr. Eli Cohen • Mr. Ronen Michael • Mr. Max Nahon • Mr. Isaac Gad • Mr. Charles Sayegh • Mr. Barak Benchetrit

If anyone would like to contact our Synagogue, please feel free to email [email protected]

Torah Teasers (AISH) 1. In this parsha, what location shares a name with a close relative of the matriarch Rivka? 2. Which three metals are alluded to in this parsha? 3. In what two contexts is the number 11 mentioned? 4. In what two contexts is the number 1,000 mentioned? 5. In this parsha, which foreign nation is referred to 11 times? Which foreign land is mentioned 12 times? 6. In this parsha, which nation is compared to an insect? Where else in the Torah are a group of people compared to insects? 7. Which person is mentioned in this parsha, for the first time since parshat Vayera? Who is mentioned for the first time since parshat Vayishlach? 8. Where is snow alluded to in this parsha? 9. What four places in this parsha does someone say, "Do not fear"? 10. What three places in the book of Genesis does Hashem tell someone, "Do not fear"? 11. Which seven names of the 24 books of the scriptures are found in this parsha?

Answers 1) One of the locations listed in Deut. 1:1 is Lavan, which is also the name of Rivka's brother (Genesis 24:29). 2) One of the locations mentioned in Deut. 1:1 is "Di Zahav," which means "gold" in Hebrew. The bed of Og is described as having been fashioned out of iron (Deut. 3:11). The Jews offer to buy food and water from surrounding nations with "kesef" - "silver" (Deut. 6:28). 3) The Jews are an 11-day journey from Chorev (Deut. 1:2). Moshe gives a speech which occurs in the 11th month of the year (Deut. 1:3). 4) Moshe blesses the Jews that Hashem should increase them "one thousand fold" (Deut. 1:11). Moshe describes how he needs assistance to lead the Jews, and appoints various judges, including "leaders of thousands" (Deut. 1:15). 5) The nation of Emori appears 11 times. The country of Bashan is mentioned 12 times. 6) The people of Emor are compared to bees, in the manner they attacked the Jews who attempted to enter the land of Canaan following the incident of the spies (Deut. 1:44). In parshat Shlach, the spies compare themselves to grasshoppers, in relation to the giants who lived in Canaan (Numbers 13:33). 7) Lot appears for the first time since parshat Vayera (Deut. 2:9). Esav is referenced multiple times in this parsha, for the first time since parshat Vayishlach (Deut. 2:4). 8) The verse states that the Emorites called Mount Chermon by the name "shenir" (Deut. 3:9). Rashi states that shenir means "snow" in Germanic and Canaanite languages. Interestingly, Mount Chermon today is covered with snow at its high elevation areas. 9) 1) Just prior to the sending of the spies, Moshe tells the Jews not to fear taking possession of the land of Israel (Deut. 1:21). 2)

Hashem tells Moshe not to fear fighting Og, the king of Bashan (Deut. 3:2). 3) Moshe commands Yehoshua not to fear the kings in

Canaan (Deut. 3:22). 4) When Moshe appoints judges, he tells them not to fear anyone (Deut. 1:16).

10) 1) In parshat Lech Lecha, Hashem tells Avraham not to fear since He will protect him and bless him (Genesis 15:1). 2) In parshat Toldot,

Hashem encourages Yitzchak with the words, "Do not fear," after Yitzchak has several disputes with the Pelishtim over the wells (Genesis.

26:24). 3) In parshat Vayigash, Hashem assures Yaakov on his way down to Egypt not to fear leaving Canaan (Genesis 46:3).

11) Devarim (Deut. 1:1), Numbers (Deut. 1:1), Echa (Deut. 1:12), Yehoshua (Deut. 1:38), Vayikra (Deut. 3:14), and Melachim (Deut. 3:21). Shneim Asar (Tre Asar) (Deut. 1:23, see Baba Batra 14b).

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Community Announcements

(It is YOUR Community, make the most of it!)

Miscellaneous Announcements:

• There is no Congregational Kiddush or Seudat Shelishit this week!

• This Week’s Breakfast is available for Sponsorship!

• This Week’s Teenager Program is available for Sponsorship!

• This Week’s Children’s Shabbat Program is available for Sponsorship!

• This Week’s Daf Yomi is available for Sponsorship!

• We are trying to update our Congregant’s contact information. We would like to start sending texts about different

Events and Shiurim. We would also like to start emailing the weekly bulletin. We would like to start a list of

Nahalot/Azkarot/Yahrzeits. We would also like to make a Refuah Shelema list. Please send your contact information

to the Board at [email protected]

Important Message!! !

The Eruv in Surfside now includes the walking paths along the beach. Pushing strollers and carrying is Eruv Update: Surfside:

permitted on the paths, but not beyond the path or onto the beach. Bal Harbour: The Eruv in Bal Harbour included the inner (western) walking path only. The pier at Haulover Cut is not included.

• Before hanging up anything anywhere in the Bet Hakenesset, please seek authorization from the Board. This includes flyers etc.

• Please be advised that prior to bringing any food or drinks for any occasion, you must first seek the authorization from the Board.

Special Announcements

• We are pleased to announce that Ness 26 is part of the Amazon Charity Program, which would allow our community to collect 0.5% of all the orders

made by any of you on Amazon.com. In order to register you need to log on smile.amazon.com and select Ness 26, Inc as the Charitable Organization you want to support, and from then shop on smile.amazon.com instead of www.amazon.com. It won’t cost anything more, and is an easy way to contribute

to our budget needs.

• Anyone wishing to receive the Daily Halacha please send a whatsapp message to Simon Chocron 786-351-1573

Community Calendar:

• We would like to remind the Kahal & urge everyone to watch the Chafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation

Inspiring Videos on this Tisha Beav. There will be a viewing in our Bet Hakenesset at 2:30 pm. Please make a

Minimul Donation to the Bet Hakenesset. If anyone would like to purchase the cd's to view it at home, please

contact me.

• We are pleased to announce that we will also have a Children's Video of the Chafetz Haim Heritage

Foundation in our Bet Hakenesset at 1:30 p.m. Recomended ages 7-13. Cost per child is $4 and for family $12.

If there is great demand, we might be able to have another viewing if anyone is interested please let me know.

Looking forward to seeing you there. Wishing everyone a meaningful and uplifting fast.

• The program for Teenaged Boys ages 13-18 Started again with Great Succes with Shiur & Supper every Evening After Minha at around at 7:30 pm

With Supper. New Participants Welcome! Anyone wishing to sponsor this Shiur Please contact the Board. Tizke Lemitzvot!

• We have started the Mishmar Program Every Thursday evening at 7:30 pm with Chulent, Beer, & Snacks. Everyone is welcome!

Refuah Shelema List Men Women

• Yosef Zvi Ben Sara Yosefia, • Isaac Ben Mesoda, • Simja Bat Esther, • Sara Ledicia Bat Mesoda, • Mordechai Ben Brucha Malka • Haim Ben Marcelle, • Rachel Bat Sarah, • Alegria Simha Bat Esther,

Shmalo • Yizhak Ben Simja • Nina Bat Rachel, • Naomie Bat Rarel Adda, • Yizhak Abraham Ben Sheli, • Reuben Ben Eta, • Gitel Rina Bat Yael, • Malka Bat Joyce Simja, • Yosef Yizhak Ben Sara Hana, • Michael Ben Aliza, • Miriam Bat Sofy, • Sivan Simha Bat Yehudit, • Mordechai Ben Miriam, • Avraham Ben Leah • Rahma Bat Simha • Natalie Rachel Bat Nancy, • Meir Raymond Ben Mathilde • Ruben Leib Ben Eta • Esther Bat Fortuna • Abigael Haya Bat Esther • Yaakov Ben Simha Alegria • Menahem Ben Shira • Malka Bat Dina • Madeleine Bat Esther • Aviv Ben Luba Miriam • Moshe Ben Rahel • Raizel Bat Miriam • Nurit Jacqueline Bat Rahel • Mordechai Ben Mercedes • David Ben Freha Rina • Leah Bat Rivka • Marcelle Mesoda Bat Alegria • Yaacov Refael Ben Alegria • Sol Bat Perla • Eva Bat Yael Khayat • Shalom Gibly Ben Fortuna • Chana Bat Bilha • Camouna Bat Fortuna • Yael Bat Rut

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We would like to Wholeheartedly Thank our Dear Friends, Mr. & Mrs. Alain Albergel for generously Donating the TORAH LEARNING of Av 5781 Leiluy Nishmat his Dear Father Yaakov Albergel Bar Simha z”l & Max Maclouf Bar Gracia z”l Tihye Nishmatam Tzerura Bitzror Hahayim Amen! We truly appreciate it. In this merit may Hashem Bless you & your wonderful family with all the Berachot of the Torah. Amen.

Happy Birthday To Nahalot • Sr. Abraham Guenoun – Mon. July 19th, • Simja Ayash z”l the 9th of Av • Michal Elmaleh – Mon. July 19th, st (Mother of Mr. Mordechai Ayash z”l) • Avraham Benhayoun – Wed. July 21 , • th nd Esther Cohen Bat Rachel z”l the 11 of Av • Joseph Ammar – Thurs. July 22 , (Mother of Mr. Philipe Cohen) nd • Mrs. Sheri Benchetrit – Thurs. July 22 , • Mesoda Bitton Bat Esther z”l the 11th of Av nd • Mrs. Caroline Cohen – Thurs. July 22 , (Mother of Mr. David Bitton z”l) rd • Moshe David Perez – Fri. July 23 , • Abraham Bitton Bar Rachel z”l the 13th of Av th • Esther Hannah Nahon – Sun. July 25 , (Father of Mr. David Bitton z”l) th • Hillel Elmaleh – Mon. July 26 , • Moshe Edderai Bar Simcha z”l the 14th of Av th • Mrs. Naama Maya – Tue. July 27 , (Uncle of Dr. J.J. Edderai) • Esmeralda Aquinin – Fri. July 30th, Next Shabbatot: • David Bensabat – Mon. Aug. 2nd, • Estrella Belecen Bat Oro z”l the 15th of Av • Elisheva Otsman – Mon. Aug. 2nd, (Mother of Mr. Albert Belecen)(Shabbat) • Mrs. Ety Perez – Tue. Aug. 3rd, • Yaakov Albergel Bar Simcha z”l the 16th of Av.

(Father of Mr. Alain Albergel) • Zoui Levy Bat Louli z”l the 17th of Av Happy Anniversary To (Mother of Mr. Eddy Levi) • Mazal Benbeniste Bat Rivka z”l the 18th of Av (Mother of Mrs. Lina Guenoun z”l)

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WEEKLY INSPIRATION throughout the world. But the Jews are an exception – the only exception – to this rule. We have remained a nation even when we did not A Nation Defined by the have our land. And we did this because of the Torah. We were driven from our homeland, but Torah we took the Torah with us, and we took the (Rabbi Eli Mansour itorah) Torah with us wherever we went during this long period of exile. This is how we survived as a The Aron – the ark in the Bet Ha’mikdash – nation. featured on top of it two Kerubim, golden figurines which served as a "barometer" of G-d’s This, the Netibot Shalom explains, is the reason relationship with the Jewish People. At times why the Kerubim over the Aron embraced on the when G-d was pleased with His nation, then the day of destruction of the Bet Ha’mikdash. The two Kerubim faced one another, but when He Aron, which stored the original copy of the Sefer was displeased, they turned away from one Torah, represents the Torah. On the day we another. The Talmud teaches that on three were exiled from our land, G-d assured us that Regalim (pilgrimage festivals – Pesach, Shabuot our relationship with Him would continue through and Sukkot), when Beneh Yisrael would the Torah. We would be without a land for many assemble in Jerusalem, the Kohanim would centuries, but we would always have with us the open the curtain to expose the Aron, and the "Aron" – the Torah, which we would study and people would see the two Kerubim embracing meticulously observe. And this is how we would one another. These occasions were times of survive as a nation during centuries of great love and closeness between G-d and Am dispersion. Yisrael, and so the Kerubim not only faced each The Arizal (Rav Yishak Luria of Safed, 1534- other, but locked in a warm, affectionate 1572) taught that the four letters of G-d’s Name embrace. ("Yod," "Heh," "Vav" and "Heh") can be arranged Elsewhere, the Gemara gives a famous account in twelve different configurations, and each of what happened when Titus, the evil general of configuration corresponds to one of the twelve the Roman army, entered the Bet Ha’mikdash months. And, the Arizal said, each configuration and stormed into the Kodesh Ha’kodashim, the is alluded to in a verse in Tanach. The Arizal inner sanctum of the Mikdash, where the Aron revealed to us which months correspond to stood. Startingly, the Gemara relates that when which configuration, and according to his Titus entered this chamber, he looked at the ark system, the month of Ab is represented by the and the saw the two Kerubim embracing one configuration "Heh," "Vav," "Yod" and "Heh." another. On this day, when G-d unleashed His This arrangement of letters, the Arizal said, is anger against the Jewish People, bringing in the alluded to in the verse in the Book of Debarim Roman legions who set the Bet Ha’mikdash and (27:9) where Moshe says to the people, "Hasket Jerusalem ablaze, and killed, plundered and U’shma Yisrael Hayom Ha’zeh Niheyeta La’am" exiled the Jews, the Kerubim embraced, – "Be silent and listen, O Israel, this day you reflecting G-d’s great love for the Jewish People. have become a nation." The first letters of the words "Hasket U’shma Yisrael Hayom" are The Netibot Shalom (Rav Shalom Noach "Heh," "Vav," "Yod" and "Heh," alluding to the Berezovsky of Slonim, 1911-2000) explains why month of Ab. the Kerubim were embracing at that moment. The Jews were then leaving their homeland and At first glance, the Netibot Shalom writes, this being driven into what would be many centuries verse seems hardly fitting as a symbol of the of bitter exile. They must have been concerned month of Ab. In fact, it might be the least fitting that they would no longer survive as a nation. verse, as it speaks of Am Yisrael becoming a After all, all nations share several things – nation – and on Tisha B’Ab, we lost our Bet including a land. No other nation retained its Ha’mikdash and our homeland. But in light of national identity while being dispersed what we have seen, the Netibot Shalom writes,

בס''ד the answer becomes clear. On the day of Tisha "Satam Tefilati" – all the heartfelt prayers to stop B’Ab, we became a nation like no other. This the destruction were "blocked" and never was the day when we became a nation whose reached the heavens. identity was determined by something other than The great Kabbalist Rav Moshe Galanti (Safed, a common land. On this day, we became a 16th century) explains on this basis the nation defined by the Torah, and not by anything comment of the famous Mishna in Pirkeh Abot else. which instructs us to be "Oheb Shalom Ve’rodef We have survived the millennia of exile, Shalom" – "A lover of peace and a pursuer of dispersion, upheaval and persecution through peace." He writes that when we love peace, and our commitment to Torah. And it is through this maintain unity and peaceful relations among our commitment that, please G-d, we will earn our nation, then G-d will "pursue" and destroy the final redemption and be worthy of returning to peace between these two "generals" of evil. As our homeland and celebrating the rebuilding of long as we get along peacefully with one the Bet Ha’mikdash, speedily and in our times, another, the two angels of destruction will Amen. quarrel with one another and thus be unable to harm us. It is only when we fight among ourselves that unity is maintained between these two angels, enabling them to wreak havoc in our Having Our Prayers world. Answered Through Unity The key to redemption is unity and peace, being (Rabbi Eli Mansour) kind and loving to one another, even to those with whom we disagree and of whose actions we Megilat Echa (3:8) laments, "Gam Ki Ez’ak disapprove. Va’ashev’a Satam Tefilati" – "Even when I cry out and plead, my prayer is blocked." At the time There was once a man who was praying in of the Temple’s destruction, there were Shaare Zion and objected to the fact that righteous people who prayed and pleaded to G- somebody else, who was known to be far less d to annul His decree and not destroy the Bet than strictly Torah observant, received an Aliya. Ha’mikdash. Unfortunately, however, these The man expressed his objection to Hacham prayers were "blocked" and could not achieve Baruch Ben-Haim, who assured the man that their desired result. this other fellow was allowed to receive an Aliya. When the man continued to voice his Why were these prayers "blocked"? disapproval, Hacham Baruch said, "Many years Kabbalistic sources teach that all the negative ago, there was a man here in this synagogue forces in the world are under the authority of two who was known not to be particularly observant, "generals," who are named Mahalat and Lili-t (it but Hacham Yaakob Kassin allowed him to is customary not to pronounce the name of the receive an Aliya. Rather than rejecting him, second one). These two angels of destruction, it Hacham Yaakob decided it was best to welcome is taught, were always fighting with one another, the man with love and friendship. and this prevented calamity from striking. As "That man," Hacham Baruch continued, "was they were constantly embroiled in conflict with your father. You are observant today because each other, they were unable to work together to your father was warmly welcomed and bring destruction upon Am Yisrael. At the time of respected when he was not yet strictly religious." destruction of the Bet Ha’mikdash, however, these two angels managed to put aside their This period, when we mourn the destruction of differences and join forces. This bonding had the the Bet Ha’mikdash, is the time especially suited effect of filling the world with forces of Tum’a for increasing our level of tolerance and love for (impurity), and these forces blocked the those with whom we disagree. We need to work righteous Jews’ prayers from ascending to the together and show one another respect and heavens. As a result, these prayers could not friendship even if we follow different lifestyles annul the decree. And thus the verse laments, and have different views about important

בס''ד matters. When we see people who are not as The Talmud goes on to list several Amoraim who meticulous about Halacha as we think they recused themselves from a case after accepting should be, we are naturally disturbed, as well we favors that we would hardly consider bribery. should be, given the importance of religious The Amora Shmuel was having difficulty observance. But anger and hostility is not the crossing a rickety footbridge. Someone reached appropriate response. Nothing positive can out and helped him cross the bridge. Shmuel possibly result from arrogantly and asked this man what had brought him to the condescendingly criticizing people for what we bridge, and the man answered that he had a perceive as their religious laxity. If we want to case scheduled in Shmuel’s beis din. Shmuel precipitate change, then to the contrary, this can disqualified himself from judging the case out of be achieved only through warmth, friendship and concern that the favor he had received from this love. man would cause him to subconsciously want to If we succeed in building and maintaining see this man win the case and inadvertently peaceful relations within our community and skew the proceedings to make that happen. between the various communities in Am Yisrael, Similarly, Ameimar was sitting in beis din, and a then we will succeed in breaking the unity feather flew onto his head. A fellow came over between the forces of evil so that our prayers for and removed the feather. When he told Ameimar redemption will, once and for all, be answered, that he was there to have his case heard, and Tisha B’Ab will then be transformed into a Ameimar disqualified himself from hearing the day of great joy and festivity, Amen. case. Mar Ukva had an instance in which someone spat in front of him, and another person came Small Favors and covered up the saliva. The second person had a case scheduled in which Mar Ukva was to (Rabbi Frand from Torah.org) be the judge, and Mar Ukva disqualified himself. I instructed your judges at that time, saying, The final case listed in the Talmud is with Rav “Listen among your brethren and judge Shmuel bar Yose’s sharecropper, who would righteously between a man and his brother or his normally deliver Rav Shmuel bar Yose’s share litigant. You shall not show favoritism in of the produce every Friday. One week, the judgment, small and great alike shall you sharecropper had to be in town on Thursday for hear…” (1:16) a monetary case, so he decided to deliver the Moshe Rabbenu recounts how he warned the produce a day early. Rav Shmuel bar Yose then-newly appointed judges not to show any recused himself from adjudicating the case of favoritism that might corrupt the results of a case the sharecropper lest he be affected by the favor over which they are presiding. of having his produce a day early. A recurring theme in the Torah is that personal Rav Pam wonders: Were these Amoraim so considerations, especially in the form of bribes, fickle that the slightest favor could influence their will cause a judge to view one party more judgment? Can you imagine a dayan misjudging favorably than the other. a case because someone helped him across the street or cleaned his hat? Shouldn’t an Amora The Talmud (Ketubot 105b) teaches that bribes give himself more credit than to assume that he don’t necessarily have to come in the form of would be biased for such trivial reasons? money. Even seemingly minor exchanges can affect the way a person sees things. The Talmud Rav Pam answers that this Gemara is not so explains, for instance, that even saying nice much about judicial integrity or the corrosive things to a judge may be a form of bribery that nature of bribes as it is about the extent of will cloud his judgment. hakaras hatov (gratitude) we should have for those who do us favors.

בס''ד These Amoraim weren’t fickle; they took The resort had a room set aside for davening. people’s favors more seriously than we do. To One evening, Rav Reuven Zelig Bengis had us, such favors might be so insignificant that yahrtzeit, but there were only nine people in the they don’t even register on our radar improvised shul. One of the nine went outside to screens. But people who have worked on look for a tenth man, and found one nearby. Little appreciating what others do for them did he realize that another man who had consider these “minor” kindnesses worthy yahrtzeit had gathered exactly ten people just of so much gratitude that it might skew their outside their room, and that the man whom he judgment. had summoned into Rav Bengis’s minyan was needed for the other minyan. Rav Pam goes on to show how many of the problems in society today stem from a lack The person who organized the minyan outside of hakaras hatov. stormed into the room and started yelling at Rav Bengis, heaping insults upon him. Husbands take the daily “small” favors that wives do for them for granted, and wives take Rav Kook was well known for his great love for their husband’s favors for granted. Everyone every Jew, but this action was beyond the pale, expects the other party to do the chores and even for Rav Kook. He walked over to the person errands they usually do because “it’s his (or who was berating Rav Bengis and slapped him her) job.” across his face for insulting a talmid chacham. If each spouse would take favors as seriously as This man grew so furious at Rav Kook that he these Amoraim did, said Rav Pam, we would decided to sue him in a secular court for assault. have many more happy, stable marriages, in A commotion ensued. Several people asked which everyone would feel that they are Rav Kook to apologize so the matter would not appreciated for all they do. go any further, but Rav Kook refused. “If it was for my own honor, I would apologize,” he The same holds true for employer-employee explained. “But Rav Bengis was shamed. I am relationships, and virtually all other relationships not sorry that I slapped a person in order to as well. If people would look at what the other defend the honor of a talmid chacham. Let him party does for them instead of considering it a G- take me to court!” d-given right, they would get along much better. A few days later, the fellow had a change of Perhaps the most compelling example Rav Pam heart. He came into Rav Kook, apologized, and offers is the attitude people display toward told him he was not going to take him to court. yeshivot, Bet Yaakovs, and day schools. If alumni and parents would have the proper For many years, it seemed that that was the end hakaras hatov toward the institutions that of the story. educated them or their children, they would give Years later, however, Rav Kook visited the generous, ongoing gifts to those schools, and United States. He was approached by the very our mosdos wouldn’t be in the sorry state of person whom he had slapped years earlier at the financial collapse they are in. But all too often, resort. the attitude is, “I paid my tuition. I did my job. You did your job. Don’t bother me anymore!” “I owe the Rav a great debt of gratitude,” the man exclaimed, removing a gold watch from his And people who are truly makir tov don’t pocket and presenting it to Rav Kook. appreciate only the good things that people do for them; they even feel a debt of gratitude to He explained that after Rav Kook had slapped those who hurt them in a way that ultimately him, life in Europe became unbearable for him. ended up helping them. He became infamous for being the one who yelled at Rav Bengis and got slapped by Rav When Rav Kook was still in Europe, he would Kook. When he could no longer bear the shame, spend his summers on the Baltic seacoast in he decided to leave Europe and go to America Latvia, along with many other European where no one knew him. He struck it rich in rabbanim. America, eventually becoming a millionaire. He

בס''ד felt his good fortune was all the result of the slap it because children were useful, because they from Rav Kook, and he wanted to give the Rav help carry the household burden, provide a gift to express his gratitude. companionship and are a source of security in It is hard to feel gratitude for a slap in the face, old age? Or is it because each child is a spark of be it literal or proverbial. But the least we can do the Divine, a priceless gift from Heaven, a piece is learn to be as appreciative as the Amoraim of the World to Come? were toward those who do us favors. So Moshe gave the Jewish people a test. He And that level of hakaras hatov wasn’t limited to blessed them with a "thousandfold" increase in the generation of the Talmud. The Chofetz their population. If they had wanted children for Chaim, who lived less than a century ago, was a their usefulness alone, they would have said, Kohen and could not attend funerals. But when "Thank you, but that's enough already! A a woman who had once donated a window to his thousandfold will suit our purposes just fine. We yeshivah in Radin passed away — and we are have no use for any more right now." But that not talking about a designer stained-glass was not what they said. They wanted more window — he followed the casket from a children. They wanted children "too numerous to distance all the way to the cemetery in count." Obviously, they were not thinking about appreciation for her donation. their own material and emotional needs, but about the transcendent blessing that each child If we would appreciate the favors others do for represents, and so, they proved themselves us — however small they are — the world would worthy of Hashem's blessing. be a far better place! Hundreds of years earlier, these two conflicting attitudes toward children had already become an issue. Yaakov and Esav had made a division. Children are a Gift Esav was to take this world, and Yaakov was to (Rabbi Frand) take the World to Come. When Yaakov came back from Aram, Esav welcomed him at the "May G-d, the Lord of your fathers, add a head of an army four hundred men strong. In the thousandfold more like you and bless you, as He tense early minutes of the confrontation, Esav spoke to you." (Devarim 1:11) noticed Yaakov's many children. The Jewish people, Rashi informs us, were not "Who are these children?" Esav asked. very happy with the blessing Moshe gave them. "May G-d, the Lord of your fathers," he had said, "These are the children," Yaakov replied, "that "add a thousandfold more like you and bless you Hashem graciously gave to your servant." as He spoke to you." The Pirke d'Rabbi Eliezer expands the dialogue "Only that and no more?" the people responded. between Yaakov and Esav and reveals the "Is that the full extent of your blessing? Hashem underlying argument. blessed us (Bereshit 32:13) to be 'like the dust "What are you doing with all these children?" of the earth that is too numerous to count.'" Esav asked. "I thought we made a division, that "You will surely get the blessing Hashem gave I would take this world and you would take the you," Moshe replied. "This is just my own World to Come. So why do you have so many personal blessing to you." children? What do children have to do with the World to Come? Children are a boon in this What exactly was Moshe's reply? What world!" additional benefit would the Jewish people derive from his blessing of a thousandfold "Not so," Yaakov responded. "Children are increase if they were already receiving sparks of the Divine. The opportunity to raise a Hashem's blessing of virtually limitless child, to develop a Divine soul to the point where increase? it can enter the World to Come, is a privilege of the highest spiritual worth. That is why I have The Chatam Sofer explains that Moshe was children." testing them. Why did they want children? Was

בס''ד Yaakov wants children for their own sake, but Rabbeinu Yonah asks how this seemingly obvious Esav views them as an asset in this world. fact — that the Torah was forsaken — could have Children are an extra pair of hands on the farm. eluded the Sages and prophets? To his question we They can milk the cows and help with many can add others. The Gemara in Yoma says that the other chores that need to be done in agrarian first Bet Hamikdash was destroyed because of immorality, murder and idolatry. Why, then, did societies. Yirmiyahu mention only the failure to make a Modern man has progressed beyond agrarian blessing over Torah study. Moreover, where did the life. He has moved off the farm and does not Sages see in the verse itself that it refers to the failure have such a need for children anymore. In fact, to make a blessing rather than total abandonment of he has made a startling discovery. Children are the Torah? a tremendous burden. They are expensive, time Rabbenu Yonah answers that in fact the generation consuming and exasperating. Who needs learned Torah constantly and fulfilled the mitzvot. children? That is why the Sages did not recognize that they have forsaken the Torah. But if so, how did they fall But what about companionship? Loneliness? No to such a level that they committed the three cardinal problem. Modern man can get a dog. Dogs are sins? Why didn’t their Torah learning protect them? wonderful. Instead of coming home to a house To this Hashem replied: their Torah learning was full of clamoring, demanding, frustrating lacking, as seen from their neglect of the blessing children, he can come home to an adoring, tail- over their learning. wagging dog who will run to bring him his Let us try to understand what dimension the blessing slippers and newspaper. So why does he need adds to Torah learning and how this deficiency is children? This is the attitude of Esav adapted to hinted to in the verse itself. Yeshayahu (Yeshayahu modern times. 28:10) castigated the Jewish people for serving Hashem, “Command by command, line by line, a Yaakov, on the other hand, understands that little here, and a little there.” His rebuke was based the purpose of children is not for enjoying on their failure to integrate the observance of all the this world or for making our lives easier. mitzvot into a unified service of G-d. Just as Hashem Each child represents a spiritual mission, a is One, so, too, is His will one. He has one all- spark of the Divine entrusted to our care and encompassing request of man. As the verse says, our guidance, an opportunity to fulfill “What does the L-rd your G-d ask of you other than Hashem's desire to have this soul brought to that you fear Him?” (Devarim 10:12). What Hashem demands from us is a constant awareness of His the World to Come. presence and of our obligation to emulate Him and act according to His will. All the 613 mitzvot are in fact expressions of emunah in Hashem (see G-d's Answer to a Perplexing Maharsha to Makkot 23b). Since we are human beings in a physical world, we Question cannot relate to G-d’s will without it being broken down into segments that we can deal with (Rabbi Zev Leff) individually. Imagine a globe of the world encased in Who is the wise man that may understand this and who is a larger globe. In the outer globe, 613 small windows he to whom the mouth of the L-rd has spoken that he may are cut, each window exposing a small portion of the declare it? Why has the land perished, burnt up like a surface of the enclosed globe. A composite picture wilderness that none pass through? And the L-rd said, from all the windows would yield a view of the globe “Because they have forsaken my Torah, which I set before within in. So, too, the individual mitzvot are merely them, and have not obeyed My Voice, nor walked therein” (Yirmiyahu 9:11-12). partial manifestations of G-d’s one, all-inclusive will. Each mitzvah is a window through which we glimpse The question of why the Bet Hamikdash was a portion of that will. destroyed and the Land left desolate was posed to the Sages and the prophets (Nedarim 81a). None Thus, there is more to leading a Torah life than could explain until HaKadosh Baruch Hu Himself merely observing 613 rules. The ultimate goal is to revealed that it was a result of having forsaken the understand the implications of each mitzvah in the Torah. The Gemara continues that the failure to context of the overall Divine will that must shape our listen to G-d’s voice and walk in the Torah’s ways personality, outlook, and actions. In addition to refers to their failure to recite Birkat haTorah. shemiyah lekol Hashem — listening to G-d’s voice

בס''ד and obeying His commands — one must also have give him another honor in our shul. When he asked shemiyah bekol Hashem — listening into G-d’s why he deserved such treatment for being strict with voice, an understanding of the implications and respect to Yom Kippur, I told him that we are meaning of those mitzvot in their broader context. prohibited from honoring idol worshipers. Observance of the Torah “tzav letzav, kav lekav,” i.e., “What idol worship am I guilty of?” he demanded to rule by rule, without sensitivity to the aspects of know. I explained, “Hashem, the G-d of Israel, has Divine will revealed in each mitzvah, is inadequate. decreed that you must eat on Yom Kippur. If some Yaakov told Esav, “I lived with Lavan and kept all 613 other g-d has commanded you to fast, it is irrelevant mitzvot and didn’t learn from his evil deeds.” Keeping to me if you call it Zeus, Kemosh or Yom Kippur — the 613 mitzvot and not learning from Lavan’s evil all idols are the same.” ways are two separate things. Only if one seeks G- The Gemara (Yoma 23a) describes how the kohanim d’s will within the mitzvot, can he create a Torah used to race up the ramp of the altar to determine hashkafah, a character and lifestyle that precludes who would perform the sacrificial service that day. being influenced by Lavan’s evil ways. Once, two kohanim were neck-to-neck, at which That was the deficiency of the generation of the point one drew a knife and thrust it into his Churban. They kept the mitzvot and learned Torah, adversary’s heart. Distorting the mitzvot by losing but did so perfunctorily.” ...Within their mouths and sight of their context transformed the sacrifices into a lips do they honor Me, but their hearts are far from cult, which led in turn to murder. Me, and their fear of Me is as a commandment of Hashem’s answer to Yirmiyahu revealed how people men learned by rote” (Yeshayahu 29:13). who studied and observed Torah could fall to the Reb Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz was once invited to depths of immorality, murder and idolatry. “They be the guest of a certain individual for the Friday night forsook My Torah” — not the Torah, but My Torah. seudah. Arriving home with his host, it was They failed to hear G-d’s will expressed in the Torah; immediately obvious that the hostess had fallen — they failed to hear into My voice. And therefore asleep from an exhausting erev Shabbat and had they failed to walk in the ways of the Torah — they failed to awaken on time to put the finishing touches failed to make the Torah an all-encompassing guide. to the table. Her embarrassed husband berated her All of this is symbolized by the failure to make a for her failure to cover the challot. Reb Shraga Feivel berachah prior to learning. The berachah begins, thought to himself how absurd it was for the man to “ashira kidishaynu b’mitzvoti”— the purpose of the humiliate his wife for not having covered the challot mitzvot is to sanctify us and to inspire us to holiness. — a minhag designed to keep the challot from being The second beracha emphasizes that the purpose of “embarrassed” during Kiddush and to teach us how Torah is to make us — those who know and emulate sensitive we must be to another ‘s honor. The host, G-d’s character traits in order to develop a complete in his concern for the minhag, had completely Torah personality. And the third berachah ignored its implications. emphasizes, — that G-d has chosen us from the Failure to see the mitzvot as an expression of the nations of the world and given us the responsibility to totality of G-d’s will, and not as just disjointed become a nation of Kohanim and a holy people. The commands, leads to the distortion of mitzvot berachah enjoins us not to merely hear the words, themselves. One year I received an urgent call just but to consider their implications. before Yom Kippur from a woman in my For this reason, we refer to an observant Jew as a congregation. Her husband had been told by his shomer Torah u’mitzvot. At first glance, the reference doctor that he was suffering from a condition which to both Torah and mitzvot seems redundant. The could prove life-threatening if he fasted. intention is to emphasize that in addition to mitzvot, Nevertheless, he was determined to fast. I spoke to this person observes the Torah, the complete his doctor and consulted another observant doctor to expression of G-d’s will. confirm the diagnosis. There was no doubt that fasting would endanger his life. The purpose of Eretz Yisrael is to provide the most conducive, holy environment in which to observe the I called in the man and explained to him that he must mitzvot so that we can create a total Torah life for the eat on Yom Kippur. He looked me straight in the eye Jewish people as a whole. But when the Jewish and said, “Rabbi, you’re a young man and I’m about people observe mitzvot perfunctorily, without the three times your age, well into my seventies. Since intention to live a complete Torah life, then the need my bar mitzvah I have not eaten on Yom Kippur, and for the land is negated, and its physical destruction I do not intend to start now.” I replied that I could not follows. That is the lesson Hashem revealed to force him to eat on Yom Kippur, but hat as soon as Yirmiyahu. he left my office, I would instruct the gabbai never to

בס''ד Reprinted with permission from Artscroll Mesorah Publications, ltd. This article ourselves up for failure. We need to retake the is provided as part of Shema Yisrael Torah Network Permission is granted to redistribute electronically or on paper, provided that this notice is included environmental engineering course! intact. For information on subscriptions, archives, and other Shema Yisrael Classes, send mail to [email protected] If we coop our children up in a car for many hours at a time, why are we so surprised when they fight? Food for thought Environmental engineering is not just for the home. If you want an elegant dinner out, don't (I repeat, don't) bring your small children. If you Home Engineering want to bring your children, start with a family friendly restaurant and expect that water will be A lot of our parenting meltdowns are due to spilled, someone's face will be covered with our own poor planning. (By Emuna Braverman) ketchup -- and likely portions of their clothing as In Rabbi Abraham Twerski's book, Positive well, and another child will probably be doing Parenting, he has a chapter devoted to laps around the room. The Boys Scouts know of environmental engineering that discusses a what they speak -- be prepared. crucial and neglected aspect of parenting with a A lot of our parenting meltdowns (I mean us not myriad of implications. our children!) are due to our own poor planning, One aspect of environmental engineering is to our own lack of careful environmental make our homes reflective of our values. For engineering. example, if we have the television on throughout If we coop our children up in a car for many the day and evening, it doesn't matter what hours at a time, why are we so surprised when values we profess to hold, the ones shaping our they fight? Why do we accuse them of ruining families will be coming from that box - or flat our family vacation? It was our choice. screen. Environmental engineers plan shorter trips with Of course the type of marriage we present to our more stops, more snacks, more bribes…And children is an aspect of this as well. Are we they pick sites that children will enjoy. creating an atmosphere of joy and harmony and When we went to Washington a few summers security in which our children can flourish? ago, The Spy Museum was a big hit. The Library And the type of Shabbat dinner we present, if we of Congress with the mandatory and long- present it all, is an aspect of environmental winded tour guide was not. And the memorials engineering. Are we calm? Are we dressed up? were simply out of the question. Is the food presented with that special touch? Do Every family is, of course, different. And trips and we try to have a stimulating conversation that events need to be tailored to its unique and engages our children (and isn't about the latest special interests. And there clearly needs to be sale at Banana Republic)? some balance between the needs of our children These are deep and meaningful reflections of and our own needs (yes, parents have needs environmental engineering and require serious too). thought and practice. But we want to avoid situations of conflict and But there are other types of environmental frustration where we can. There will be enough engineering which involve things we do to make that we can't! our lives simpler, our homes more comfortable We have never had a TV in our home. Although and "user-friendly". I am certainly sympathetic to all the moral and If we want a home with pretty and fragile objects, educational value of not having one, I was we have to make some choices. Since we don't compelled by something different. I was want to be yelling at our kids all day or hesitant imagining the fighting. "I want this show." "No I to have guests, we can either move those things want that one." "Tonight it's my turn." "No, it's to higher shelves or accept the breakage with a mine." "He stole the remote." And I decided that shrug. If we can't do either, we are setting I wanted to keep that out of my home. One less

בס''ד struggle. My personal environmental they will somehow disappear after the engineering. wedding. Most importantly, make sure We also have a home full of books and even you have no intention to change your though many of my daughters would like us to partner. sell the books and replace the shelves with 3. You’re focused on the marriage you want shoes, I have remained steadfast. Not only are to create together, not the wedding. We they important to me but I figure that if they are all have a vision of what our weddings always around eventually someone, even my should look like and who should be there. most recalcitrant readers, will pick some of them But as special as a wedding is, becoming up. lost in the details of planning it may We have so many opportunities to tweak our sometimes indicate that we want a world and make ours and our children's lives wedding more than we actually want to be better and easier, by acting where we can -- and married. Focus on planning the marriage by never getting more attached to our more than the wedding. "tchotchkes" than to our children. 4. Your relationship has depth. You and the person you are dating often have serious conversations about your values and determine that you share compatible life Ten Signs You’re Ready for goals. Marriage 5. You can’t imagine life without your partner. He is the first person you want to It has far less to do with age than it does with share good news with. She is the one you being emotionally ready for a lifelong want to call right away when your boss commitment. (By Sara Debbie Gutfreund) criticizes your work. When you’re not with When I was in college one of my friends insisted your partner, your life feels strange and that no one can possibly be ready for marriage incomplete. You can’t imagine a future before age 30. Ironically, this friend ended up without him in it. getting married a year after I did at age 23. Being 6. You are focused on your partner’s ready for marriage has actually far less to do with character. Life is inherently age than it does with knowing the signs that we unpredictable. A wealthy partner may are emotionally ready for a lifelong commitment. lose all of his wealth. An attractive partner Here are ten signs that you are ready for may gain weight. A dream of having two marriage. perfect children and a golden retriever 1. You know why you want to be married. may not come true or may change. You There are many external factors that can are ready to get married when you are pressure singles to want to get married truly committed in richness and in like parental pressure or watching many poverty, in sickness and in health, in of their friends pair off and settle down. peaceful times and in stressful times. You But before you commit, you should know can envision sticking by your partner no why you want to get married and discuss matter what life brings. your vision of marriage with your partner 7. You understand that love requires a lot of to make sure you are on the same page. hard work. You are at the point when 2. You are aware of and accept the flaws of dating for fun is no longer fun, and you the person you are dating. It’s crucial for realize that real love requires consistent us to see and understand our partner’s effort and grows from what you put into it. weaknesses as well as his or her 8. You know how to put your needs aside strengths. Make sure you can live with sometimes. You and your partner can those imperfections instead of white resolve conflicts together and each of you washing over them or rationalizing that know how to sometimes put aside your

בס''ד own needs in order to help each other. According to these very well-researched books, You are ready to take yourself out of the children go through phases – approximately six spotlight of your life and make room for months each – of equilibrium and disequilibrium, another person’s feelings and needs. or more colloquially, of good moods and bad 9. You have learned the basics of emotional moods. There isn’t necessarily a trigger. There regulation. You have enough self- isn’t a way to prevent it or change it. It just is and awareness to understand your own we need to roll with the punches (hopefully not strengths and weaknesses and how to literally). This is actually freeing once you accept cope with them in your life. You know how the idea. It removes the torment and allows us to to calm yourself down, how to accept be a little more relaxed in our parenting style. other people’s bad moods without It’s not just true of children; it’s true of all of us. personalizing them and how to be Have you ever noticed that sometimes life’s responsible for your own moods. challenges just roll off your shoulders like 10. You have so much more you want to give. nothing and other times you feel like you’re being You have a life that you are happy with, weighed down by a heavy boulder? That but you have so much more that you want sometimes you feel like you could run a to give. Being single feels like you are marathon (and maybe you do!) and other times missing the opportunity to express a every step feelings like slogging through crucial part of who you are. You feel like quicksand? That some days you feel like you want to build and create something superwoman, full of energy and like you could that goes far beyond anything that you accomplish whatever you desire and other days, can create on your own. you’re exhausted and putting cereal and milk into a bowl requires all your effort? That some days you’re super patient with your husband and kids and all their cute little idiosyncrasies and Sometimes It Really Is Just a other days every single thing they do sets you off and you can’t stop yelling or expressing your Phase frustration in other unattractive manners? Don’t make a bad mood more than it is. That’s because we also go through phases. We (By Emuna Braverman) also have times of equilibrium and “She went overnight from being a sweet child to disequilibrium, of good moods and bad moods, being a monster!” of getting up on the right side of the bed and on the wrong one. The secret is to recognize this “He used to be so cuddly and now he won’t come and not to read too much into the situation or the near me.” people around you. “She cries all the time now. Do you think All too often, like with our children, we look for a something is going on at school?” source for our less than stellar mood. It’s my job, “He’s very aggressive; maybe he’s being it’s my husband, it’s my children. And then we try bullied.” to change one of those. This is a really dangerous and potentially destructive path. It’s When these situations are reported to me by my important to remember that wherever we go and children or friends, I frequently hark back to whatever we do, we take ourselves with us! Are something I learned many years ago from the we really sure there’s an external cause to our books published by Harvard’s Gesell Institute. unhappiness or difficulties or is it something While each situation may require an being generated internally? This is a crucial investigation, frequently nothing is uncovered question. and the parent is at a loss to explain their child’s behavioral change. That’s because there is no Unfortunately I know of many people who, in the explanation! grip of what appears to be their disequilibrium phase, blow up their marriages. They imagine that “he” or “she” is the cause of their misery and

בס''ד that if they get rid of him or her, they will be free that even children aged 11 and 12 must eat on fast days, to soar. Often they find that it wasn’t their spouse even if they want to fast. Hacham Ovadia noted that holding them back after all; it was their own particularly regarding Tisha B’Ab (and the other fasts internal baggage. But by then it’s too late. commemorating the events surrounding the Hurban), there is no purpose in training children to fast, as we fervently I’m not saying that we never need to change our hope that the Mashiah will come and there will no longer external circumstances; I’m just suggesting that be any obligation to fast. There is certainly no need to train we be very careful before we do, that we our children in the Misva of fasting if we hope that they will never have to observe this Misva. examine the situation rigorously and cautiously and rationally and don’t react or make important If a child insists on fasting, his parents may allow him to choices based on our emotion of the moment. delay or skip his breakfast, but he should not be allowed Even if the moment seems to last more than a to miss lunch. This is the ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef day or two… and of Rav Shelomo Zalman Auerbach (Israel, 1910- 1995). When I get down in the doldrums, it’s very easy to stay there. Even if I don’t blame anyone else, Tefilla even if I can’t find a way to pin it on my husband, On the eve of Tish'a beAb we remove the Parokhet there’s still something very comfortable about haHekhal (the covering of the Aron haQodesh) from the indulging my misery or sense of grievance or synagogue, and we turn the cloth covering of the Sefer depression or frustration. It takes real effort to lift Tora that we will read from on Tish'a beAb, and they out of it. It requires a decision. remain like this until midday of Tish'a beAb. Some also put a little ash on the Sefer Tora itself. The reason for all I try to tell myself that in those moments, in that this is explained in the Rama where he brings the pasuq in phase it’s my yetzer hara talking, telling me how Ekha (2:17) " 'Asa Ado-nai asher zamam, bisa' imrato" - awful my life is, trying to bring me down. And that "Hashem hath done that which He devised; He hath I need to fight back. The phase may be out of my performed His word." From this we also derive the custom control but my response to it is not. of the Sefer Tora (to turn the cover inside out) and the midrash says on this pasuq that the destruction of the Bet But even if I can’t quite keep that dialogue going, haMiqdash is like HaQadosh Barukh Hu tearing the I can remind myself that “this too shall pass” and "cloth" of His Kingdom. See QS"A of Ribi Toledano zs"l that I shouldn’t take it too seriously and that I (p. 257); Kaf haHayim (Siman 559:19); Meqor Hayim certainly shouldn’t make any important (Pereq 205:1). The aspect of the ashes is brought down in commitment or changes in that moment. Nahagu ha'Am (p. 114). Sometimes we just need to ride the waves…as We have the custom at Shaharit and 'Arbit of Tish'a beAb parents, as grandparents, as teachers, as that everyone sits on the ground for the entire tefilot and spouses, as friends…something this California wears shoes of cloth or rubber, not leather. This is because resident needs to learn to do… just as a mourner is obligated to sit on the floor during his seven days of mourning, we too do the same. Also, this is learned from Ekha (2:1) "Hishlikh mishamayim eres tiferet Yisrael" - "He hath cast down from heaven unto the earth the beauty of Israel" and (2:10) " Yeshebu la-ares Daily halacha yidemu, ziqné bat sion" - "They sit upon the ground, and keep silence, the elders of the daughter of Sion." See S"A Halachot & Minhagim of Tisha (Siman 599:3) and Kaf haHayim (Siman 599:3). In the morning berakhot of Tish'a beAb and Yom Beav Kipur we skip the berakha "she'asa li kol (Daily Halacha & Magen Avot) sorki" because we are forbidden from wearing leather shoes on this day and this berakha makes

Children Fasting Rav Menahem Azarya Mi’Pano (Italy, 1548-1620), in one reference to shoes. Hazal said that a person should of his responsa (111), wrote that there is no value sell all of his possessions in order to buy shoes to whatsoever in forcing children under the age of Misva wear on his feet, rendering shoes a basic necessity; obligation to fast on the fast days. To the contrary, one therefore, it is not right to say "she'asa li kol sorki" - should ensure that children are properly fed on fast days. "that He gave me all of my needs," since we are This is also the view of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, who ruled missing this most basic need; also there are reasons

בס''ד according to the Qabala to not say this berakha on At this moment we say: "Nafela 'Ateret Roshenu" Tish'a beAb. See Maran HaHida in Qesher G-del - "The Crown of Our Heads has Fallen" and we (Siman 5:19), Rbi David 'Obadia zs"l in Nahagu read the perasha of the day "Ki Tolid Banim" Ha'am p.114, QS"A p.296 by Ribi Toledano zs"l (from Perashat Vaethanan). a) Pesuqé Dezimra (1) See Ribi Yosef Benaim (Noheg beHokhma, p.145), Mayim Hayim p.225, and Shemesh Umaghen (Heleq 3, Siman 75). This After "Hashem Melekh" before Barukh She-amar, the is a rebuke for us because it says in the pasuq (Yirmiyahu 9:11) minhag is to say Tehilim 137 ('Al naharot Babel) (1). "Why has the land perished? (9:12) And Hashem said: Because Some also say the piyut "Eftah pi lehodot" (2). Some they have forsaken My law." say a different version of Barukh She-amar than that (2) In the city of Meknes they are accustom to do Hagbaha and which is normally said throughout the year (3). say that if someone reads the Sefer Tora without doing Hagbaha The minhag is to say "Ha'azinu" instead of "Az yashir he transgresses the pasuq "arur asher lo yaqim" - "Cursed is he Moshé" and to skip the paragraph beginning "Ki who does not confirm (Yaqim literally means "raises") the l'Ado-nai hamelukha". (4) words of this law by doing them." (3) See Masekhet Soferim (18:7), Abudarham (p.256), Bet Yosef (1) See sidur Kol Tehina, published in Livorno. (O"H Siman 559), Qobes Minhagim (Heleq 2), and Osrot (2) This was the minhag in Meknes. haMaghreb (Tish'a beAb). This is in order to further illustrate (3) See sidur Kol Tehina. the humiliated state of the Tora; and with this we ask Hashem to (4) This is the minhag in nearly all Jewish communities; the reason for it is that it is inappropriate to sing the joyous Az Yashir Moshé on Tish'a have mercy on us "if not for our sake then do it for the sake of BeAb - it is more fitting to say words of rebuke such as Ha'azinu. See Your Tora" since now it is in such a lowly state. Tur (O"H 559) and Bet Yosef there. Some have the custom that the Kohen and Levi do b) The 'Amida not receive 'aliyot. (1) The minhag is not to say "Sim Shalom" as usual, but rather " 'Osé hashalom...". See Abudarham and sidur Some have the minhag that each 'olé says the Kol Tehina. This was the custom of Rbi Shalom Messas berakha "Barukh dayan ha-emet" before saying zs"l. the berakha of the Tora instead of "Hashem 'Imakhem"; those who do this must say the c) Kedusha berakha without shem umalkhut. (2) Instead of "Naqdishakh," the minhag is to say the nusah beginning "Neqadesh et Shimkha...". This The minhag is to translate the haftara "Asof is actually the nusah that Ashkenazim recite year- Asifem" into Arabic [or Spanish], pasuq by pasuq, along with words of rebuke. (3) round. See the Abudarham (p.256). (1) This was the minhag in Fes; see Ribi Yosef Benaim zs"l d) Birkat Kohanim (Noheg beHokhma, p.145). The minhag is NOT to do Birkat Kohanim at (2) See Bet Yosef (O"H 559). This was the minhag of the Shaharit nor at Minha on Tish'a Beab. Toshabim of Fes, Ribi Yosef Benaim zs"l (ibid.) because with this phrase we are justifying the judgment that we have been The reason for this is that Birkat Kohanim must be done given (i.e. that the Bet haMiqdash was destroyed). Another with joy, and there is no joy on Tish'a BeAb. See Ribi reason for saying this is based on what is written (Debarim 32:4) Refael Barukh Toledano zs"l (Qisur Shulhan 'Arukh 394), in Parashat Ha'azinu "a G-d of faith without iniquity, righteous Dibré Shalom veEmet p. 96, Kaf haHayim 559:36, the and fair is He". source is from sefer Abudarham in Seder Tefilat (3) See Keter Shem Tob (Part 4, p.84) and Arba'a Gebi'im.

Hata'aniot. This minhag is in contrast to that of the h) Kadish Qabalists of Bet El Yeshiba, which is to say Birkat Kohanim on Tish'a BeAb. Kadish Titqabal is not said at 'Arbit or Shaharit. f) The Reading of the Tora (1) The Kadish "dehu 'atid lehadeta" is said at the end of 'Arbit and at the end of the Kinot at Mare Haketav (the lifting of the Sefer Tora, and Shaharit. showing it to everyone) is not done, rather we The reason for this is that part of the destruction of the Temple place it directly on the table and start the berakhot was that G-d refused to listen to the prayers of the Jewish people of the Tora. (1) as long as they sinned.

Some are accustomed, however, to do "Hagbaha" Certain places have the minhag not to use the like normal. (2) silver Tora yad/pointer when reading from it on

The Tora is not read on the Teba, but rather on a Tish'a beAb, rather the reader uses his actual table or on the back of one of the congregants. (3) finger. The reason for using a "yad/pointer" for reading

בס''ד the Tora is to honour it since this way we do not come to We are accustomed on the night of Tish'a beAb to even touch the parchment. But on Tish'a beAb we point have very minimal light at home in order to with our fingers because this way we demonstrate once increase the somber mood. This is according to what again that the honour of the Tora (on this day) is in a lowly is written in Ekha (3:6) "bamahashakim hoshibani kemeté state. See Osrot Hamaghreb (Heleq 2). 'olam" - "He hath made me to dwell in dark places, as those During Shaharit of Tish'a beAb we have the that have been long dead," this is also done in the minhag not to recite the Pitum Haqetoret nor synagogue as we mentioned previously. 'Alenu Leshabeah at the conclusion of the Tefila On the night of Tish'a beAb we sleep in an (like we normally do) since 'Alenu is a song of praise uncomfortable manner, some on a mattress placed and is not fitting for this day nor is reading about the on the floor and some have the custom to put a qorbanot that ceased on this day. See the mahzorim and rock under their pillow. This is brought in the Maharil Kaf Hahayim (Siman 559:48). where he says that this is based on the Midrash on the After Shaharit we have the minhag to go to the pasuq (Bereshit 28:17) "En zé ki im bet Elo-him" - "This cemetery and pray by the graves of our parents is none other than the house of G-d" where Ya'aqob Abinu and o because on this day even the sadiqim are mourning a"h foresaw the destruction of the Temple and thus took a rock and put it under his head as an act of mourning; so the loss of Jerusalem and we plead with them to request too we do this act on the night of Tish'a beAb. See QS"A mercy on behalf of Hashem. This also increases the theme (p.256) by Ribi Toledano zs"l and Qobes Minhagim of mourning the Bet Hamiqdash for the person. See Osrot Hamaghreb (Tish'a Beab). The source of this minhag is (Heleq 2). the Rama (Siman 581:10). We do not do any work on Tish'a beAb and there The minhag is to add the "Nahem" prayer into the is a saying in Arabic: "Flous Ekha Umi Kamokha 'Amida only at Minha on Tish'a beAb, not at ma fihoum siman berakha" - "Money [earned] on 'Arbit or Shaharit. Tish'a beAb (Ekha) and on Purim (Mi Kamokha) do not have any blessing." See QS"A p.255 by Ribi There is a difference of opinion among the Geonim (early Toledano zs"l, Qobes Minhagim (Tish'a beAb), medieval authorities) as to whether Nahem should be said and Kaf haHayim Siman 554:37. at all the services on Tish'a BeAb or only at Minha. Rab 'Amram Gaon (see Seder Rab 'Amram Gaon) writes that it It is worthwhile to note the halakhic opinion of the should be said at all the prayer services, while Rab Sa'adia Yalqut Yosef (Mo'adim, Halakha 14, p. 581-2). He Gaon (see Sidur of Rab Sa'adia Gaon) rules that it should brings down the Bet Yosef who says that "in a place be said only at Minha. The minhag follows Rab Sa'adia where it is the custom to work on Tish'a beAb, we work. Gaon. The Bet Yosef explains the reason for Rab Sa'adia In a place where the minhag is not to work we do not Gaon's ruling: that the Temple was set on fire at the end of work. But the minhag of Jews in general is NOT to do the day on Tish'a BeAb, and therefore at that time it is any work throughout Tish'a beAb." The Yalqut Yosef appropriate to pray for the comforting and rebuilding of then adds that if one is poor and does not have what to Jerusalem. This remained the minhag even after the eat that night it is permissible for him to do work Sefaradim accepted the Shulhan 'Arukh as their main discretely, provided he does not get sustenance from source for halakha, because even though Maran rules there sedaqa. There are those who permit working after that one should say Nahem in every prayer service, he also Hasot. Work that will result in a financial loss if not says that his intent is not to discredit and change done otherwise is permissible. Anyone who does work established minhagim. in a non-permissible manner on Tish'a beAb will not see Misc: berakha from it." Please consult your Ribi for a proper ruling on this matter as every person's situation is After 'Arbit of Tish'a beAb everyone sits on the different. floor and listens to the Talmid Hakham recount stories of the destruction of the Bet haMiqdash It is forbidden to apply skin cream on Tisha B’Ab, from the Gemara and Midrash. This is to firmly except for the purpose of healing chapped, infected or implant in our hearts what sins caused its destruction, and scraped skin. Deodorant may be used on Tisha B’Ab, through this we will find our way back to Hashem (ie. we but perfume is forbidden. will do teshuba). See Yahadut haMaghreb p. 324, in the One who must take pills on Tisha B’Ab may do so, city of Fes, Ribi Yosef Benaim zs"l would go up to the and if he needs water to swallow the pill, he should roof of his house and elaborate on the matters of Tish'a beAb to the multitudes, and the whole Nation would cry first make the water bitter, such as by placing in it over the Destruction. strong tea concentrate or the like

בס''ד Immediately after 'Arbit of Mosa-é Tish'a beAb, Daf Yomi Masechet Succah we have the minhag to go out and do Birkat haLebana (the blessing over the moon) as a (Daf Notes) community in accordance with the ruling of Four Amot wherever we Go Maran haHida. This is to demonstrate to the Nation of Israel that even though the Bet haMiqdash was destroyed, The Gemara states that regarding a mezuzah, a it will be rebuilt anew just as the moon is renewed every protective fence around the roof, tzaraat month. We also make reference to the eventual renewal afflictions, houses of walled cities, and regarding and rejuvenation of the Jewish People ("She-af hem 'atidin returning from the ranks of the warriors, the lehithadesh kemotahh"). See the Qisur Shulhan 'Arukh p. Torah uses the word bayit, and a house that is 258 by Ribi Toledano zs"l. less than four amot squared is not considered a Women had the minhag on the night of Tish'a beAb to bayit. The Gemara in Berachot states that since gather at the entrances of houses and mourn the the day the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed, destruction of the Bet haMiqdash, the " 'Asara haRugé Hashem has nothing in this world but the four Malkhut" - "the Ten Martyrs," and Hanna and her amot of halacha. Four amot is a significant area seven sons who were brutally tortured and executed. with regard to halachic matters. Furthermore, Some do this at the entrance to the cemetery. See Osrot four amot is the space that is allotted for one Hamaghreb (Heleq 2) and Qobes Minhagim (Heleq 2). person. One who is engaged in the study of After hasot of Tish'a beAb, women have the Torah is deemed to be the resting place of the minhag to tidy up the house and make all of the Divine Presence in exile, and this idea beds to "prepare" and show that we are "ready" for the corresponds to the concept that wherever the coming of Mashiah, since it is said that during Minha Jewish People were exiled, the Divine Presence (after Hasot) of Tish'a beAb, Mashiah is born and is was exiled with them, i.e. in the study halls of the named Menahem. The reason for this is brought down Diaspora. May we merit that HaShem restore in Birké Yosef (Siman 559:7) by Maran haHida who the Bet HaMikdash and that the Divine Presence quotes the Sefer haKavanot of the Arizal who says that rest again on the Great Sanhedrin in the Lishkat when Bené Yisrael saw that fire was set to the hekhal of the Bet Hamiqdash on Tish'a Beab, they recited the HaGazit, the Chamber of Hewn Stone in the Bet Mizmor of Tehilim which mentions that Hashem will pour HaMikdash. out his wrath on wood and stone (the Temple). They Sukkot and the Holy Ark became very happy because if Hashem did not do this then he would have taken out his anger on us and we would The Gemara derives the law that the height of a have been decimated, has veshalom. Therefore, this Sukkah must be higher than ten tefachim from brought relief and comfort to the nation. Due to the the Holy Ark, which was nine tefachim tall, and reasons mentioned, we do not rebuke these women for the thickness of the kaporet, the Arkcover, was making preparations for after Tish'a Beab on Tish'a Beab, one tefach. The Divine Presence never especially since this minhag dates back to the ancient descended into the domain of man and Hashem cities of Italy. See QS"A p. 258 by Ribi Toledano zs"l; Kaf spoke to Moshe from atop the kaporet, so it haHayim (Siman 559:76). follows that ten tefachim from the ground is a It is known that Tish'a Beab will turn into a Yom Tob separate domain. It is noteworthy that the Vilna when Mashiah comes, so to strengthen our faith in Gaon writes that when the Jewish People sinned this happening speedily in our days, women have the with the Golden Calf, the Clouds of Glory that minhag to honor this Yom Tob to be by baking had been protecting them departed and they cakes after hasot in order to break the fast with only returned after Hashem forgave the Jewish them. See Noheg beHokhma p.247 by Ribi Yosef People on Yom Kippur. The clouds actually Benaim zs"l; Shulhan 'Arukh (Siman 559:10); returned on Sukkot, and it is for this reason that and Kaf haHayim (Siman 559:77). we celebrate Sukkot in the fall season. Following Yom Kippur, the Jewish People were instructed to build the Mishkan, a sign of HaShem’s forgiving the Jewish People. It is thus Daf yomi appropriate that we derive a law regarding a Sukkah from the Holy Ark, as the Ramban writes that the ultimate goal of the Mishkan was to

בס''ד contain the Divine Presence that had rested "Don't you know that embarrassing your fellow publicly at Sinai. The Divine Presence rested on man in public is worse than all the desecration of the Holy Ark, atop the kaporet, and Sukkot Shabbat that goes on in the whole world? Don't reflects the Divine Presence that rests in our you know I am one of the greatest philanthropists midst. in the community and that a sizeable portion of your wages comes from my pocket?" He ranted on Flames in Heaven like this for some time. The Gemara states that Moshe and Eliyahu Finally, when the Malbim was able to squeeze in a never ascended to Heaven. Although Scripture word edgewise, all he said was, "Your hat looks so seems to indicate that Moshe ascended to good on you. Did you have it custom-made?" Heaven, the Gemara explains that Moshe The congregant looked quizzically at the Malbim, always remained below ten tefachim form the wondering why he responded with a comment that Heavens. There is a halacha regarding lighting had nothing to do with the conversation. Chanukah Menorah that the candles should be within ten tefachim of the ground. Rabbi Moshe Irritated, he replied, "No, I did not have it custom- Shternbuch in his sefer Moadim Uzmanim made. Just like everyone else, I went into a hat wonders if the flames themselves are required to store and tried on a few hats until I found the one be within ten tefachim of the ground or is it that suited me and I bought it." sufficient that the wicks are within the tefachim "If so," said the Malbim, "what do you want from of the ground. Based on our Gemara we can me? On the previous Shabbat I spoke about the suggest that one has to light the candles within importance of tzedaka (charity), and I also had an ten tefachim of the ground, i.e. within the human irate visitor on Sunday, a wealthy member of our domain. The flames, however, which are community who is very miserly." completely spiritual and are unmarred by any "Believe me, I have no particular person in mind physical element, can be above ten tefachim. when I speak. Every week the people who fall short in the subject that I raise, come to me and complain that I embarrass them. I make different speeches on a variety of mitzvot, meaning to Kidz Corner attack no one. Those who feel that the speech fits them, are like those who choose a hat from the rack that fits them perfectly." Interesting Midrash Moshe spoke in a cloaked and indirect manner. No (from Torah Tots) doubt those who realized that he mentioned their failing picked their "custom-made hat." If the Hat Fits…. Moshe begins his five-week farewell speech to the Bne Yisrael by saying, "These are the words" Kid’z Korner (Revach) (Devarim 1:1). Rashi explains that because Moshe was delivering Tisha Beav End of Exile words of rebuke he expressed himself in a veiled (Adapted from Mishle Yaakov, pp. 396-397) manner and only mentions the negative incidents A government minister once suffered from an by allusion. insolent and rebellious son named Jack. When The Malbim (Rabbi Meir Leibush Malbim) once Jack’s behavior hit a new low, and he failed to delivered a fiery sermon on Shabbat about the show any signs of remorse, his father decided it importance of shmirat Shabbat (not desecrating was necessary to teach the the young man a the Shabbat). The very next morning a prominent, lesson. He banished Jack from his house. wealthy member of the congregation burst into the And yet, Jack was still his son. The minister made home of the Malbim, livid with rage. sure to quietly support the young man. He would "What right do you have to insult me in public?" he secretly send him money so that he shouldn't yelled at the Malbim. starve.

בס''ד As the weeks and months passed by, the minister Napoleon Bonaparte's Tisha B'Av Lesson became more and more agitated. He missed his One Tisha B'Av as Napoleon was walking through son. Still, he felt it would be wrong to write him and the streets of Paris he heard bitter wailing coming invite him back home. After all, Jack had behaved from inside a building. When he walked in he saw abominably, without any expression of regret or a group of Jews sitting on the floor saying kinos remorse. How could he rescind the punishment, and crying. He asked them, "Why are you crying." when Jack had not indicated any desire to They answered that, "Jerusalem was overrun and change? And yet he missed his son terribly, and the Temple destroyed." Napoleon thought for a was at a loss as to what to do. minute and then told the Jews, "Do not to worry it A good friend understood what the minister was is just an untrue rumor. I know for a fact that all is going through. "I agree," he told the minister, "that quiet in the Middle East." it would be a mistake to invite Jack to come back The group then explained to him that they are without any change on his part. But if you listen to mourning an event that took place 1600 years my advice, your son will come back on his own earlier. As astounded Napolean replied, "If you are volition, without inviting him home." still crying 16 centuries later I have no doubt that "How do you propose to accomplish that?" one day your temple will be rebuilt." "I know that your son is only getting by due to your Napoleon's comments give logical spin to the financial support. Even though you do this quietly Gemara's statement "Kol Hamitabel Al - perhaps even Jack doesn't realize where the Yerushalayim Zocheh V'Roeh B'Nechamata". He money is coming from - but everyone knows that who mourns Yerushalayim will merit seeing it you are helping him out. Otherwise, how else could rebuilt. If the determination and connection are still he be supporting himself? there after the long bitter galus we will certainly merit building the Bet HaMikdash once again. "As long as you keep sending him money, Jack will However, warns the Gemara, if the 2000-year long stay there, with his arrogance and insolence river of tears runs dry, we will be cut off and can intact. But if you stop supporting him, he will have never navigate our way back home. no choice. He will be forced to come back and ask for your forgiveness in order to be allowed back in Those Who Joke On Tisha B'Av your home." Tisha B'Av is a day of mourning and the most Time to Return Home somber day of the year. We sit on the floor and mourn the Bet HaMikdash. Yet we find people who At the time of the Temple's destruction, G-d not only don't seem to be too terribly deep in decreed that, due to our failings, we needed to be mourning yet even treat the day lightly and even exiled far away from our land. Nonetheless, our joke around. How can we relate to these people? Father in heaven still loves us; and He continues to support us, so that even in our dispersion Our attitude can be guided by a Mashal from Rav among the nations, we should be able to survive. Binyamin Finkel. When a father dies young and you make a Shiva visit you may find distraught But if we should see that this Heavenly support parents, a tearful widow, sad siblings, and shell stops -- that G-d "hides His face" from us and no shocked children. Yet while all this is going on longer protects us -- then this is a sign that G-d inside the somber apartment, outside you may find dearly wants us to come home. As the Sages a young child playing and laughing and having a commented in Berachot 3a, "Woe to the Father good time, genuinely enjoying the days off with the Who needed to banish His children from His table!" whole family around and lots of attention. After all the wrong things we did, it is not G-d Who Do you say to yourself, "well if he thinks his father's needs to appease us. But if G-d no longer supports untimely passing is a big joke don't expect me to and watches over us, if life in exile becomes feel bad for him"? Of course not. This child has lost unbearable -- then it is time for us to return home more than anyone inside crying. And what makes and ask for G-d's forgiveness. your eyes well up with tears is his childish naivety This is what the Torah predicts: "When you are in that doesn't even allow him to understand what he distress, and all of these tragedies happen to you has lost. This child has lost his guiding light, the -- then you will return to the Eternal your G-d and one who will raise him to be a man. He has lost the obey Him” (Deut. 4:30). one who will provide for all his needs. He has lost

בס''ד his emotional pillar and now belongs to a fragile Hashem removed His presence from the Bet orphaned home instead of a steady and secure HaMikdash before it was destroyed and only after one. that was the enemy able to ignite it. This is precisely the reason we fast on the 9th and not the We tend to relate to the Bet HaMikdash as a 10th because the fast is for the loss of the spiritual treasure and therefore those spiritually Shechina which happened on the 9th. The 10th inclined take the day far more seriously than was anti-climactic with the burning of an empty others. But the Bet HaMikdash was far more than shell that was no longer Hashem's home. a place to reach spiritual heights. With the presence of the Shechina down here on earth in Moreover, it was the first step of the Geula. It was the center of Yerushalayim, the world was a "Soter Al Menat Livnot"; Just like when you different world. The people were strong and purchase an old delapidated house the first step to beautiful, the produce was something we can't rebuilding it is to tear down the old structure. On even imagine, even the worst weather was more the 10th of Av, although excruciatingly painful to glorious than any day we can dream of. see our memories go down in flames, it was a first step towards the rebuilding of the third Bet The Bet HaMikdash was the place where Heaven HaMikdash Bimheira Biyamenu Amen. met earth. Just like we cannot fathom what Olam Haba is like, we cannot even imagine what life was like in the shadow of Hashem's palace. All the bracha in the world flowed through our Bet HaMikdash, and from there to the rest of the world. POUR LES FRANCOPHONES This gave Am Yisrael extreme superiority in ever facet of Ruchniyut and Gashmiyut. (Rav Itshak Nabet) The most hardened materialistic heart can relate to this as well. And if he laughs about the loss, and Un Jour de Fête cares more about the measly pleasures he has earned, or focuses his mind planning his upcoming Comme vous le savez, nous lirons ce Chabat la thrills, he is truly a sad case and deserves the pity paracha Dévarim qui ouvre le dernier livre de la reserved for a naive orphan. Torah. Why Do We Fast On Tisha B'Av If It Burned Cependant, nous avons l'habitude d'appeler ce Mostly On The 10th? Chabat "Chabat Hazone ", en rapport à la Haftara que nous lirons après la Torah. Dans ce texte, On the afternoon of the Tisha B'Av the Romans lit extrait de la prophétie de Yéchayahou, le prophète the Bet HaMikdash on fire. It burned that afternoon transmet les reproches qu'Hachem fit aux bné and the next day the tenth of Av. After the Churban Israël avant la destruction du Temple. C'est there was a debate if the fast day should be held pourquoi, chaque année avant le jeûne du 9av, on the ninth or the tenth of Av. It was decided that nous rappelons les fautes qui causèrent cette the ninth would be the day of Tisha B'Av. première tragédie. This can be explained with the Medrash Yalkut Nos sages expliquent qu'Hachem attend de nous, Shimoni that says that when Hashem wanted to à chaque fête, un travail particulier. Par exemple, destroy the Bet HaMikdash he needed to remove nous devons faire Téchouva à Yom Kippour, être His Shechina. If the Shechina was present in the joyeux à Soucot, sortir d'Egypte à Pessah, recevoir Bet HaMikdash no human would be able to destroy la Torah à Chavouot...Or, dans la Méguila de it. Eikha qui relate la destruction du Temple, le The significance of the Bet HaMikdash to us is not prophète Jérémie appela ce jour du 9av, « Moed » the unique architecture, the stones, or the utensils. : un jour de fête. C'est pourquoi nous n'avouons The Bet HaMikdash is a place where we connect pas nos fautes (le Vidouy) ce jour-là. S'il en est with Hashem. It is the single place on earth where ainsi, nous devons comprendre ce qu'Hachem the divine and the mundane meet in the physical attend de nous le 9av. world. The whole tragedy of the Churban is that Le rav Baroukh Rozenblum chlita amène, au nom that place no longer exists and that Hashem has de Rav Nahman de Breslev, l'histoire suivante : gone away from us, taking both spiritual and un jour, en Russie, le Tsar fit prévenir une de ses material bracha with him.

בס''ד bases militaires qu'il viendrait la visiter dans six du monde et le peuple juif comme étant le peuple mois. Pendant une demi-année, les soldats élu. Comme il est écrit à la fin des lois du Rambam préparèrent la cérémonie et la base pour cet (Malakhim 12,5) :" A cette époque, il n'y aura plus événement. Le grand jour arriva. Personne de famine, plus de guerre, plus de jalousie. Il y n'aurait pu se douter qu'un des soldats du aura un débordement de jouissance matérielle tel régiment voulait profiter de cette occasion pour que l'on trouvera les plaisirs de ce monde comme tuer le Tsar... Le carrosse royal fit son apparition. on trouve de la poussière. Alors le monde sera Les soldats formèrent deux lignes enfin libre pour servir Hachem comme il se doit. » parfaitement parallèles. Alors le Tsar marcha Nous aurons le temps pour prier, pour étudier et fièrement entre ses soldats. Lorsque soudain, pour faire Chabat. Chacun comprendra la Torah et l'un d'eux leva son pistolet en direction de la tête sera proche d'Hachem. de l'empereur. Au dernier moment, son voisin de Le Midrach enseigne que Machiah naîtra le jour du ligne réussit à déjouer l’assassinat en tapant sur le 9av. Un des sens de ce Midrach est que la bras du rebelle. Le Tsar continua sa marche délivrance viendra des prières que nous comme si de rien n'était, pendant que l'armée accomplirons ce jour-là. Ainsi, le 9av est bel est arrêta le soldat et l’exécuta bien un Moed, un jour de fête. Hachem attend L'empereur fit alors appeler son sauveur et lui beaucoup de nous. Nous devons passer cette proposa de choisir la récompense qu'il désirait. Le journée à supplier Hachem qu'il fasse naître soldat refusa et proclama que sauver sa majesté Machiah, qu'il nous délivre de ces temps difficiles était déjà un honneur en soi. Alors que le afin de vivre enfin avec Lui dans sa maison Tsar insista, le soldat répondit : « Votre grandeur, reconstruite, amen ken yehi ratson. cela fait cinq ans que mon travail dans cette base est de balayer la cour. Tous les jours, je dois ramasser les cigarettes jetées par terre, les Un Jour Terrifiant papiers, les crachats...En hiver, j'affronte des moins vingt degrés, et en été je brûle au soleil. Si Comme vous le savez, cette année, le 9 av tombe votre majesté me permettait de passer en ce Chabat. Bien que le jeûne et les autres signes cuisine... Là-bas, il y a le chauffage en hiver et le de deuil soient repoussés au samedi soir et à ventilateur en été, et en plus il y a toujours de quoi dimanche, nous allons évoquer, en quelques manger... » Alors le Tsar répondit :" Ta requête est mots, Ticha Béav, le 9 av. J’ai écouté ce cours du accordée. Mais sache que tu es un imbécile ! Tu rav Pinkous zal, il y a quelques années, mais la aurais pu me demander de devenir le chef des puissance de son message m’est restée jusqu’à armées ou le commandant de cette base, et tu n'as aujourd’hui. Je vais essayer ici de ne pas déformer rien d'autre à demander que de passer de la cour sa pensée. à la cuisine ?" Le Ramhal zal explique que, pendant chaque fête, Si cette histoire paraît amusante, il faut savoir que nous puisons des forces spirituelles. Par exemple, nous sommes le soldat de cette parabole. Toute puisqu’Hachem pardonna aux bné Israël la faute l'année, nous passons trois fois par jour devant le du veau d’or à Yom Kippour, chaque 10 Tichri, il y Roi des rois. Nous demandons à Hachem de nous a un réveil spirituel de Téchouva et de pardon…En donner la réussite financière, la santé, de nous outre, nous lisons, dans les textes des prophètes, délivrer de nos problèmes...Et nous demandons que le 9 av est appelé un Moed, une fête. Et c’est aussi de reconstruire le Temple et de nous pour cette raison que nous ne faisons pas de envoyer Machiah. Hélas, si nous examinons Tahanounim, de supplications lors de ce jour. S’il honnêtement nos prières, nous verrons que nous en est ainsi, que doit-on « puiser » le 9 av ? demandons essentiellement notre réussite, la Chlomo Amelekh enseigne dans Kohélet que “tout santé et qu'Hachem nous protège nous et nos ce qui était sera ». L’histoire se répète souvent, et soldats. Alors Hachem répond à nos prières, mais, de nombreux historiens et philosophes ont depuis finalement, on ne fait que passer de la cour à la prouvé la véracité de cet enseignement. Or, si cuisine... nous examinons le passé de notre peuple, nous Nos sages nous enseignent que si le Temple est découvrons qu'à chaque siècle, une tragédie nous reconstruit et que Machiah se dévoile, les non- frappa : l’exil du premier Temple, les Grecs, les juifs reconnaîtront Hachem comme le Souverain Romains, les Irakiens, les massacres en France et en Allemagne pendant les croisades, l’inquisition

בס''ד en Espagne et au Portugal, les pogroms en suivons la Torah et les Mitsvot, nous recevrons le Ukraine par les cosaques, la Shoah et le monde futur et les bienfaits de ce monde-ci. Dans communisme pour le dernier siècle. Et pourtant, le cas inverse, toutes les souffrances, les nous pensons tous que cela n’arrivera plus. Le jour maladies, les accidents de la route…à cause d’un du 9 av vient nous rappeler que ce qui s’est produit manque de vigilance à Chabat, du Lachon Ara… A peut se renouveler (encore plus après les actes quelques jours des vacances, nous devons terroristes qui se répètent depuis quelques réfléchir aux endroits où nous pouvons aller, à années.) Il est évident que personne ne désire la cacherout, à la manière de nous habiller, car le penser à de telles éventualités : cependant notre monde n’est pas abandonné. devoir, le 9 av, est de réfléchir à ce sujet. Les juifs en Europe avant la Shoah ne se doutaient Toute l’année, on nous encourage en disant que pas un instant du triste sort qui les attendait. En celui qui accomplit les Mitsvot en sera grandement quelques années, leurs petites vies paisibles se récompensé dans le monde futur, et profitera sur transformèrent en cauchemar sans fin. Le monde Terre des bénédictions inscrites dans la Torah. A dans lequel nous vivons est terrifiant. Même si Ticha Béav, nous découvrons une notion Hachem représente l'essence de la miséricorde et supplémentaire. Le rav Pinkous l’explique à l’aide de la bonté, nous avons besoin de cette dose de de la parabole suivante : Baroukh Hachem, j’ai un crainte afin de le servir. Alors qu’Hachem nous père et une mère qui m’aiment. Un aide à faire Téchouva en ce jour terrible afin jour brûlant d’été, je leur rends visite. Mon père est d’accueillir Machiakh Tsikénou très content de me voir et me propose un verre d’eau." prochainement, amen. Non merci, papa, je n’ai pas soif. ». Soudain il insiste : « Je t’ordonne mon fils de boire ce verre d’eau ! » Je n’ai jamais vu mon père parler ainsi : Vivre le 9 Av de nos Jours que se passe-t-il ? Si désormais, je rentre un soir et je vois mon père avec une kalachnikov qui me Comme vous le savez, nous célébrons le Jeudi 30 menace : « Chéri, bois ce verre d’eau ou je te fais Juillet, l'anniversaire de la destruction du premier et exploser la tête", vous comprenez tous que la du second Temple. Pendant vingt-quatre heures, scène et le contexte ne sont plus les mêmes. nous porterons le deuil de Jérusalem et de tout ce que nous avons perdu pendant ces deux mille ans Nous avons tous un père qui est dans le ciel et qui d'exil. C'est pourquoi nous devons nous asseoir par nous aime plus que n’importe quel parent. Il nous terre, ne pas dire Chalom, ne pas chausser de dit : "mes enfants, soit vous faites Mes Mitsvot, soit souliers en cuir…comme de véritables endeuillés. c’est le 9 av, la Shoah, et tout ce qui est prédit dans Dans les synagogues, nous nous rassemblons pour le livre des Lamentations… La destruction du lire des lamentations qui déchirent le cœur. Et second Temple qui entraîna la mort et l’exil de pourtant, malgré cette atmosphère remplie de centaines de milliers de juifs fut la conséquence de tristesse, nous avons souvent du mal à pleurer et à la haine gratuite, nous dit le Talmud dans Yoma. ressentir vraiment le manque du Beth Amikdach. A Quelques Lachon Ara, quelques manques de tel point qu'un léger désespoir s'est installé le 9 av. respect et de honte en public provoquèrent les On jeûne et on lit les textes sacrés en sanglotant, horreurs décrites dans le Midrach. Ainsi, le 9 av mais,au fond de nous,on sait qu'on n'est pas là. Alors vient nous apprendre ce qu'est la crainte comment faire, me direz vous? Nous allons essayer d’Hachem. Lorsqu'on voit toutes les souffrances d'expliquer un peu ce qu'Hachem attend de nous en ce jour si important. que subirent nos ancêtres, nous pouvons comprendre quel sort nous attend si nous nous Lorsque l'URSS s'est effondrée, un grand rav laissons aller aux relations interdites, à d'Europe est allé dans une ville importante de l’assimilation, à l’abandon de la Torah ou la haine Russie afin de rallumer les étincelles de judaïsme gratuite. qui pouvaient encore exister. Quelques jours avant le 9 av, il annonça qu'il y aurait un office dans la Nous avons parfois l’impression, lorsqu’on fait synagogue. Il réussit à trouver quelques dizaines Chabat, que l’on mange cacher et que l’on prie, de livres traduits en russe. Seulement, à sa grande qu’on fait un cadeau à Hachem. A Ticha Béav, surprise, un peu plus de deux mille personnes se nous réalisons que la chose n’est pas aussi rassemblèrent dans la Beth Aknesset. Les simple. Le judaïsme n’est pas du volontariat : nous quelques sidourim apportés pour l'occasion furent sommes les serviteurs d’Hachem ! Si nous très vite arrachés, et le rav se demandait comment

בס''ד il allait prier avec cette foule qui ne connaissait pas nous devons nous endeuiller sur toutes les un mot d'hébreu... Il se rappela qu'il avait lu dans victimes de cet exil. Nous devons pleurer sur les plusieurs histoires de tsadikim une solution à ce tsadikim qui ont été arrachés de ce monde à cause problème. Il leva les yeux et s'écria: "Maître du de nos fautes. Et nous devons supplier Hachem Monde, il y a tellement de bné Israël ici qui ont été de mettre un terme à toutes nos souffrances. Car privés de tout savoir, et je ne connais pas assez en pleurant sur les peines de notre peuple, nous bien le russe pour pouvoir vraiment leur parler. nous associons à la souffrance de notre Père. Nos Alors Toi qui a crée l'alphabet, prends les lettres maîtres enseignent que la naissance de Machiah que nous allons réciter et écris les prières qui a lieu le 9 av. Alors ne laissons pas passer cette T'apportent de la satisfaction. Il monta sur journée! Profitons de chaque instant pour l'estrade, et hurla d'une voie déchirante: Aleph!! demander à Hachem de nous libérer de cet exil et Les milliers de fidèles répondirent de tout leur de nous faire vivre ce monde parfait, ce monde cœur Aleph. Puis Beth, Guimel…Lorsqu'ils sans souffrance, ce monde de paix et de Torah arrivèrent à Hé, Vav l'assemblée ne put contenir que nous espérons tant. Et n'oublions pas que ses larmes. Ils terminèrent ainsi tout l'alphabet chaque petite prière représente une valeur avec une ferveur indescriptible. inestimable devant le Créateur. Qu'Hachem Si vous observez attentivement le texte de Ekha réponde à nos prières et que ce jour de jeûne se ainsi que ne nombreuses lamentations que nous transforme en jour de joie dès ce dimanche, Amen lirons dimanche, les versets sont ordonnées par Ken Yéhi Ratson. ordre alphabétique. Nos sages expliquent que le prophète Jérémie écrivit cette complainte avec la même attention. Afin qu'à la fin des temps, lorsque les juifs ne pourraient plus ressentir les Reflexion semanal souffrances de l'exil et de la Présence Divine, Hachem puisse prendre l'alphabet que nous allons (Rav Yonatan Gefen) dire afin de l'associer d'une autre façon. C'est pourquoi nous devons comprendre que même si Honestidad en asuntos nous ne ressentons pas beaucoup le deuil de Jérusalem, nos prières sont très importantes aux monetarios yeux du Maître du Monde. “No temas a ningún hombre, porque el juicio le Nous devons avoir la foi alors qu'Hachem sait que pertenece a Di-s” (1). La Torá le dice a los jueces nous ne pouvons pas pleurer pendant vingt-quatre que, cuando decidan un din Torá (caso judicial), heures comme le faisaient nos ancêtres il y no deben ser intimidados por las personas quelques siècles. Mais ce que nous pouvons faire, poderosas, porque “el juicio le pertenece a Di-s”. nous devons le faire de toutes nos forces. Essayer ¿Qué significa eso? de prendre sur nous le deuil avec sérieux, et nous Rashi explica que, cuando una persona toma concentrer comme on peut lors des prières et des dinero injustamente de su compañero, hay una lamentations. Il est écrit dans le livre de injusticia que debe ser arreglada. Entonces, Di-s Yéchayahou (63, 9) "Toutes leurs souffrances sont debe dirigir la Presencia Divina de manera que el des souffrance pour Lui…" Nos sages nous apprennent qu'Hachem ressent toutes les douleurs que nous éprouvons à travers cet exil. A l'image d'un père qui peut devenir malade des problèmes de son fils, Notre Père aussi endure les dinero sea devuelto a su verdadero propietario. douleurs de notre peuple. Or comme nous le Así, el juicio fue “puesto” en manos de Di-s, savons, seule la venue du Machiah mettra un forzándolo a corregir la injusticia cometida. ¿Por terme aux maux individuels et collectifs que nous qué es esto tan serio? Di-s se limita connaissons. Toutes les difficultés financières, intencionalmente para no intervenir de manera toutes les agressions racistes, toutes les maladies obvia en nuestras vidas, con el objetivo de no qui détruisent nos vies disparaîtront avec la interferir con nuestro libre albedrío. Si su reconstruction du Troisième Temple. presencia fuera obvia, pecar sería mucho más C'est pourquoi, même si nous n'arrivons pas à difícil y el balance del libre albedrío se vería ressentir le deuil de Jérusalem, en ce jour du 9 av, afectado. Al hacer que Di-s intervenga para

בס''ד reembolsar a la víctima de una injusticia, la Kamenetsky fue un ejemplo viviente de cómo persona afecta este delicado balance. actuar en esta área. En una ocasión, estaba escribiendo una ketubá (documento de Hay otro punto interesante que podemos aprender matrimonio) utilizando el bolígrafo del novio, que de este Rashi: cuando una persona peca en un olvidó devolver en medio de la agitación de la asunto monetario, no sólo transgrede en la esfera boda. DOS AÑOS DESPUÉS se volvió a de bein adam le-javeró ‘relaciones encontrar con el novio y le devolvió el bolígrafo (3). interpersonales’, sino también en la de bein adam la-Makom ‘entre el hombre y Di-s’. Este punto es Otra área en la que hay un gran iétzer importante, porque parece haber una tendencia a hará ‘inclinación negativa’ hacia justificar un encarar las mitzvot bein adam la-Makom con una comportamiento cuestionable es en el uso de actitud diferente a las de las mitzvot bein adam le- objetos ajenos sin un permiso expreso. En javeró: cuando se le ofrece comida a un judío muchas situaciones, está prohibido asumir que el observante, antes de aceptarla, el judío dueño permitirá que alguien utilice su objeto sin normalmente pregunta (como es debido) cuál es antes consultarle. La facilidad con la que una la certificación rabínica del alimento. Si no está persona puede tropezar en esto queda seguro respecto a la kashrut, le preguntará a un demostrada en la siguiente historia: rabino competente si puede comer el alimento o Rav Leiv Jasid fue el famoso tzadik de Kelm. En no. En contraste, es común que, cuando una su vejez, salió a caminar por el camino que une persona enfrenta una pregunta como, por ejemplo, Kelm con Tavrig. Un día, un adolescente si pagar impuestos o no, es más probable que manejando una carroza pasó a su lado y le ofreció actúe sin investigar la validez legal de sus un aventón. Rav Leiv le preguntó si la carroza era acciones. Quizás, advertir que los asuntos suya, y el joven respondió que le pertenecía a su monetarios también involucran bein adam la- padre. “¿Te dio permiso para llevar pasajeros?”, Makom motive a la persona a ser más cuidadosa preguntó Rav Leiv. El joven admitió que jamás lo con ellos. había hablado con su padre, agregando: La Guemará afirma que las personas tienen una “¿Realmente necesito permiso para eso?”. A lo debilidad natural en el área de los asuntos que Rav Leiv respondió: “Sí. Como no pediste monetarios: “Rav Yehudá dice en nombre de Rav: permiso, si subieras algún pasajero a la carroza la mayoría de las personas pecan en el área de podrías convertirte en ladrón” (4). Hace falta tal robar” (2). Esta Guemará es difícil de entender, sensibilidad para no equivocarse en estas leyes. ¿acaso la mayoría de los judíos son ladrones? El Es fácil justificar no pagar impuestos a un gobierno Rashbam explica que la Guemará no se refiere al no judío, sin embargo, hacerlo implica a menudo robo directo, como quitarle el bolso a alguien o una violación de dina de-maljuta dina (5). En una robar en una tienda. En cambio, se refiere a una ocasión, una mujer le preguntó a Rav Kamenetsky forma mucho más sutil e insidiosa de robar, en la por qué su familia no podía mentir respecto a su que las personas justifican lo que hacen y lo ingreso para conseguir cupones para alimentos, consideran permitido. La Guemará puede incluir, siendo que mentir en eso era una práctica común también, formas de robo que son resultado de un entre otros grupos étnicos o raciales. “Simple”, dijo simple descuido. Rav Yaakov “ellos no recibieron la Torá en el A continuación, discutiremos algunas de esas Monte Sinaí, tú sí”. áreas de la ley judía en asuntos monetarios que, a Esa respuesta es el primer y más importante paso menudo, son descuidadas, y veremos cómo para comenzar a ser más cuidadoso en asuntos grandes rabinos se condujeron en las mismas. monetarios. Pueden encontrarse muchas razones Un ejemplo clásico de descuido es no devolver para justificar acciones en esas áreas, pero hay artículos prestados. ¡Parece ser muy común que que recordar que, a final de cuentas, todo lo que las personas presten algo y no lo vuelvan a ver! A hace un judío debería estar basado en lo que Di-s menos que quien preste tenga la intención de nos enseñó en el Monte Sinaí. Rav Israel perdonar el olvido de la devolución, este es un Reisman shlita utilizó una charla entera para caso de robo. Por supuesto, las personas no transmitir el mensaje de que todo el que tenga la tienen la intención de robar, pero, de todos modos, oportunidad para ahorrar o ganar dinero, debe esta negligencia muestra una falta de respeto primero mirar las palabras del Shulján Aruj (6) para hacia la propiedad ajena. Rav Yaakov determinar si ese comportamiento está permitido

בס''ד (7). A menudo, esto implica hacer una pregunta y cuestionables para sustentarse demuestra que no no asumir que está bien hacer trampa con los vive con la creencia de que Di-s está cuidándolo. impuestos o retroceder en un acuerdo monetario. Medida por medida, dice Di-s: “Si actúan como si Yo no estuviera, entonces ya no estaré entre Un segundo paso para evitar violar las leyes sobre ustedes ni los protegeré”. Sin la protección Divina, dinero es concientizarse del gran iétzer hará del quedamos a merced de nuestros enemigos. ‘amor por el dinero’. La Guemará en Jaguigá declara que robar es algo que las personas Vimos como la negligencia en los asuntos desean mucho (8). Por este gran deseo, se debe monetarios no sólo es una transgresión de nuestra ser extremadamente cuidadoso y poner cercos relación con los demás, sino también una falencia que impidan que la persona esté en una situación severa en la relación con Di-s: quien siente la de titubeo. necesidad de “torcer las reglas” para ganar o ahorrar dinero, ignora las doctrinas básicas de la Aprendemos de Rav Israel Salánter lo mucho que confianza en Di-s. Es esencial aprender de los una persona debe alejarse de la posibilidad de grandes eruditos de Torá e intentar ser más robar. En una ocasión, Rav Israel visitó a un cuidadosos en, al menos, una de las áreas, ya sea hombre adinerado y estaba solo con él en un devolver objetos prestados, no usar objetos cuarto. Llamaron al hombre fuera de la habitación ajenos sin permiso o ser honestos en los durante unos minutos y, cuando volvió, se negocios. La enseñanza más importante es, sin sorprendió al ver que Rav Israel no estaba en el embargo, reconocer que toda área de nuestra vida cuarto. Lo buscó por todos lados, encontrándolo es legislada por el Shulján Aruj y que siempre parado fuera de la casa. Rav Israel explicó que la debemos verificar que nuestras acciones Guemará enseña que una minoría de personas concuerden con sus dictámenes. peca en arayot ‘relaciones prohibidas’, mientras que una mayoría peca en el robo (9), y agregó: ¿Cuál es la recompensa por ser cuidadosos en los “sabemos que está prohibido estar solo en un asuntos monetarios? El Talmud Ierushalmi, cuarto con una persona que está prohibida para en Makot, dice que como la tentación hacia robar nosotros, por temor a que nuestro iétzer hará nos es tan grande, la recompensa por superar este supere. Si el iétzer hará hacia el robo es aún deseo es proporcionalmente grandiosa. “Quien se mayor, ¡entonces debemos aprender por kal separa de [robar], él y sus descendientes se vajomer (un argumento a fortiori) que está beneficiarán en toda generación hasta el final de prohibido estar solo con el dinero ajeno no los días” (13). Que todos ameritemos terminar contado! (10). Por supuesto, Rav Israel hubiese el hester panim y devolver la presencia de Di-s a sido la última persona que uno esperaría que nuestras vidas. tropiece con el robo y si, así y todo, hizo un cerco Notas: (1) Devarim, 1:17. (2) Baba Batra 165a. (3) Rosenblum, Rav para protegerse de sus trampas, con seguridad Yaakov, p.343. (4) Ibíd., p. 342. (5) Dina de-maljuta dina es el nosotros deberíamos imitarlo. requerimiento halájico para los judíos de respetar las leyes de la tierra en la que se encuentran, siempre y cuando no sean antisemitas. (6) Es Nos encontramos dentro de los nueve días, un la obra estándar de ley judía, escrita por Rav Iosef Caro en el siglo XV. (7) Irmiahu 17:11, “Choshen Mishpat Stories”, marzo de 2005. (8) tiempo de intenso lamento por la destrucción del Jaguigá 11b. (9) Baba Batra, ibíd. (10) Oído de Rav Israel Reisman Templo y el hester panim ‘ocultamiento de la shlita. (11) Devarim 25:13-16 (12) Devarim 25:17-19. (13) presencia de Di-s’ que lo acompaña. Rav Ierushalmi, Makot, 2:12, 9b. Matitiahu Salomon sugiere que la negligencia con las leyes monetarias es una causa directa del hester panim: la Torá nos ordena utilizar pesas y medidas precisas y honestas (11). Directamente La Conexión entre Calma y después de esta sección, viene la que habla de Confianza en Di-s Amalek (12). ¿Cuál es la conexión entre estos dos temas aparentemente dispares? El Netziv explica La parashá de esta semana comienza con Moshé que la deshonestidad en los negocios socaba las criticando al pueblo judío por los varios pecados doctrinas básicas de la emuná ‘fe’ y que cometieron en el desierto. Uno de los el bitajón ‘confianza’. Quien confíe en que Di-s le primeros pecados que menciona es el de los provee el sustento no deseará violar las leyes de espías. Moshé recuerda los eventos que la Torá para adquirir dinero. Sin embargo, quien condujeron a esta trágica ocurrencia: está dispuesto a engañar y a justificar acciones

בס''ד "Y ustedes se acercaron a mí y dijeron: ‘Déjanos una razón para el orden de los espías en esta enviar hombres delante de nosotros para que instancia; los espías, con la excepción de espíen la Tierra y nos informen el camino por el Yehoshua y Calev, sintieron la misma ansiedad que debemos ascender y las ciudades a las que que el pueblo, por lo que ellos también estaban en debemos llegar’” (1). un estado de pánico ante la idea de entrar a Israel. El pánico genera una falta de orden y Dado que en este contexto todas las palabras de consecuentemente es apropiado que los espías Moshé involucran algo de crítica, la pregunta es, sean mencionados sin un orden específico como ¿cuál es la crítica que hay en estas palabras en un reflejo de su actitud agitada. particular? Rashi explica que la forma en que se acercaron a Moshé no fue apropiada. Aprendemos del principio de Rav Kamenetzky que cuando una persona actúa de forma agitada o "Se acercaron a Mí en un irbuvi (enredo apresurada, hay una gran posibilidad de que su desorganizado) (2), los niños empujando comportamiento emane de una falta de confianza por delante de los ancianos y los ancianos en Di-s. Una persona que confía en Di-s no sentirá empujando por delante de los líderes” (3). pánico cuando deba hacer algo, y tampoco tendrá El entendimiento simple es que Moshé estaba un sentimiento de impaciencia cuando los eventos criticándolos por una falta de dérej éretz (respeto) no ocurran con la velocidad que quisiera. En lugar y kavod haTorá (respeto por la Torá). Rav Yaakov de eso, reconocerá que Di-s lo está guiando Kamenetzky escribe que es difícil decir que este constantemente y que todas las pruebas que era el objetivo principal de la crítica de Moshé. Es encuentre en el camino son la forma de Di-s de claro a partir del relato de los espías que aparece darle oportunidades para crecer. Sin embargo, en la parashá Shelaj que su error principal fue una cuando una persona no tiene la seguridad que falta de bitajón (confianza en Di-s). La falta de provee el bitajón, no siente calma (menujá) y bitajón hizo que temieran al poderoso pueblo que puede sentir ansiedad y deseos de apresurar los habitaba en Israel y que se lamentaran, porque de eventos. acuerdo a su percepción, eran incapaces de La primera lección que podemos aprender a partir conquistar la tierra. Consecuentemente, ¿cuál es de esta idea es que, debemos tomar conciencia la conexión entre el hecho que el pueblo se acercó sobre las situaciones en las que tenemos una a Moshé de forma inapropiada y la falta de bitajón, tendencia a ser impacientes o ansiosos. Cuando que fue la verdadera causa del pecado? sabemos que estamos en ese estado, deberíamos Rav Kamenetzky explica que efectivamente la esforzarnos para evitar toda acción de la que falta de bitajón fue la causa del pecado de los luego podríamos arrepentirnos, y además espías; la falta de dérej éretz que mostraron fue deberíamos dar un paso atrás y analizar muy bien sólo un síntoma de esa carencia. Si hubiesen la situación presente. tenido la confianza suficiente, se hubieran Luego de esto deberíamos entender que ese tipo acercado a Moshé con calma y respeto. Sin de comportamiento probablemente emana de una embargo, como sintieron mucha ansiedad por la falta de bitajón y deberíamos tratar de internalizar idea de entrar a la tierra, actuaron agitadamente y lo que sabemos intelectualmente que es verdad: no respetaron el protocolo. Ahora entendemos por que Di-s está con nosotros y que no hay qué su falta de bitajón fue la causa de su necesidad de preocuparnos. comportamiento irrespetuoso (4). Espero que todos ameritemos desarrollar el Rav Kamenetzky utiliza esta idea para responder bitajón que nos permitirá vivir con menujá. una difícil pregunta en la historia de los espías. En la parashá Shelaj el orden de los espías es único NOTAS: 1. Devarim 1:22. 2. Irbuvia se traduce mejor como un en toda la Torá. Por lo general, los espías son embrollo; significa que la forma en que se acercaron a Moshé enumerados de acuerdo a su edad, pero allí es fue desordenada, como fue explicado arriba. 3. Rashi, Devarim 1:22. 4. Emet LeYaakov, Devarim 1:22. 5. Shelaj 13:4. Ver el diferente. Los comentaristas ofrecen varias comentario de Rambán a este versículo, quien dice que el orden (5) sugerencias para explicar el cambio de orden . es en base a la grandeza. Rav Kamenetzky sugiere que en realidad no hay

בס''ד When the afternoon prior to Tisha B'Av occurs on Daily Dose Shabbat, there is no Seudah Hamaf-seket with eggs and ashes. Rather, the regular Shabbat "third meal" is eaten, albeit without guests and Tisha B'Av - The Ninth of Av fanfare.

Overview and laws of the Jewish national day Restrictions on Tisha B'Av of mourning. (By: Rabbi Shraga Simmons Aish) Upon sundown, the laws of Tisha B'Av commence What Happened on the Ninth of Av? – consisting of the following expressions of mourning: On Tisha B'Av, five national calamities occurred: 1. No eating or drinking until nightfall the following 1. During the time of Moses, Jews in the desert evening. accepted the slanderous report of the 10 Spies, and the decree was issued forbidding 1. Pregnant and nursing women are also them from entering the Land of Israel. (1312 required to fast. If one suspects it could be BCE) harmful to the baby or mother, a rabbi should be consulted. When Tisha Beav is 2. The First Temple was destroyed by the postponed to Sunday, one should consult Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. the Rabbi for the laws. 100,000 Jews were slaughtered and millions 2. A woman within 30 days after birth need more exiled. (586 BCE) not fast. 3. The Second Temple was destroyed by the 3. Others who are old, weak, or ill should Romans, led by Titus. Some two million Jews consult with a rabbi. (MB 554:11) died, and another one million were exiled. (70 4. Medicine may be taken on Tisha B'Av, CE) preferably without water. 4. The Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by 5. In case of great discomfort, the mouth may Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar – be rinsed with water. Great care should be the Jews' last stand against the Romans – taken not to swallow anything. (MB was captured and liquidated. Over 100,000 567:11) Jews were slaughtered. (135 CE) 2. Other prohibitions include: 5. The Temple area and its surroundings were 1. Any bathing or washing, except for plowed under by the Roman general Turnus removing specific dirt – e.g. gook in the Rufus. Jerusalem was rebuilt as a pagan city eyes (OC 554:9, 11). (Upon rising in the – renamed Aelia Capitolina – and access was morning, before prayers, or after using the forbidden to Jews. bathroom, one washes only the fingers. See OC 554:10, OC 613:3, MB 554:26) Other grave misfortunes throughout Jewish 2. Anointing oneself for pleasure. (Deodorant history occurred on the Ninth of Av, including: is permitted.) 1. The Spanish Inquisition culminated with the 3. Having marital relations. expulsion of Jews from Spain on Tisha B'Av in 4. Wearing leather shoes. (Leather belts 1492. may be worn.)(see: Laws of Shoes and Chairs) 2. World War One broke out on the eve of Tisha 5. Learning Torah, since this is a joyful B'Av in 1914 when Germany declared war on activity. It is permitted to learn texts Russia. German resentment from the war set relevant to Tisha B'Av and mourning – the stage for the Holocaust. e.g. the Book of Lamentations, Book of 3. On the eve of Tisha B'Av 1942, the mass Job, parts of Tractate Moed Katan, Gittin deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw 56-58, Sanhedrin 104, Yerushalmi end of Ghetto, en route to Treblinka. Ta'anit, and the Laws of Mourning. In- depth study should be avoided. (MB Aspects of Mourning: The Afternoon Before 554:4) Tisha B'Av 3. Other mourning practices include:

בס''ד

1. Sitting no higher than a foot off the The Torah is replete with prohibitions against idol ground. After midday, one may sit on a worship, in all its many potential iterations. On first chair. (OC 559:3) (see: Laws of Shoes read, that seems surprising. Are we really tempted and Chairs) to shave the sides of our face to palliate some G-d’s 2. Not engaging in business or other temper? Does it really seem probable that statues distracting labors, unless it will result in a of wood or stone have any real power? Idolatry, on substantial loss. (OC 554:24) the face of it, seems patently absurd. Yet, the Torah Refraining from greeting others or offering is full of admonitions against idolatry and lists gifts. (OC 554:20) serious consequences for individuals or 3. Avoiding idle chatter or leisure activities. communities who stray. How can we understand this? Prayer on Tisha B'Av We are taught that, at one time, the drive for idol 1. Lights in the synagogue are dimmed, worship was as strong as all of our other body candles are lit, and the curtain is removed drives. It was a physical urge that raged within us; from the Ark. The cantor leads the prayers we needed to suppress or sublimate it. But the in a low, mournful voice. This reminds us Jewish people kept failing the test. The drive was of the Divine Presence which departed too powerful. from the Holy Temple. As the Talmud describes, our sages beseeched the 2. The Book of Echa (Lamentations), Heavens. “Please remove this desire for idol Jeremiah's poetic lament over the worship from our nature.” And the Almighty granted destruction of Jerusalem and the First their wish. No longer was idolatry an internal Temple, is read both at night and during physical desire. That urge disappeared. But there the day. was a price to pay. 3. Following both the night and day service, The flip side of the desire to worship idols is the special "Kinot" (elegies) are recited. intense desire for a relationship with the Almighty. That would have been the appropriate way to 4. In the morning, the Torah portion of redirect the urge. Deuteronomy 4:25-40 is read, containing the prophecy regarding Israel's future Now, instead, they are both gone – the powerful and iniquity and exile. This is followed by the overwhelming desire to worship idols along with the Haftarah from Jeremiah (8:13, 9:1-23) powerful and overwhelming desire to connect with describing the desolation of Zion. our Creator. 5. In the afternoon, Exodus 32:11-14 is read. Yes, we want a relationship with G-d. Yes, we know This is followed by the Haftarah from it’s good. Yes, we know it’s comforting. Yes, we Isaiah 55-56. know it’s right and true. But do we long for it with a 6. Since Tallit and Tefillin represent glory and passion? decoration, they are not worn at Shacharit. Tisha B’Av gives us a chance to understand and feel Rather, they are worn at Mincha, as what we lost. It gives us a glimpse of life when the certain mourning restrictions are lifted. whole world yearned to be close to the Almighty. 7. Birkat Kohanim is said only at Mincha, not And it gives us a vision of the future. Tisha B’Av is at Shacharit. an opportunity to understand what it means to passionately desire a relationship with the Almighty 8. Prayers for comforting Zion and "Anenu" and to live with that reality. are inserted into the Amidah prayer at Mincha. It gives us a chance to recapture that intense desire to bond with our Creator. But it’s no longer a gift. We 9. Shortly after the fast is broken, it is have to work at it. Hard. customary to say Birkat Halevana. Tisha B’Av allows us to jump start that process. As we focus on what’s lost, we can also visualize what could be – and therefore be motivated to bring that Longing for G-d new world into existence. Tisha B’Av is an opportune time to recapture our intense drive to connect with our Creator. (By: Emuna Braverman)

בס''ד Tisha B’Av is a day of mourning but it’s also a time at the expense of others. It's dog-eat-dog and every for hope. The Temple will be rebuilt. We just need man for himself. We withdraw into our homes to channel our drives into really wanting it. behind a curtain of satellite dishes, internet, and take-out food. We shield ourselves from the harsh realities, and worst of all, we despair of the notion that things can be much better. We shrug our shoulders and lament, "That's just the way life is." Jewish Unity and the Key to Judaism says: "No!" When Adam and Eve left the Redemption Garden of Eden, G-d assured us of a path back. The Jewish People are handicapped if even one Statesmen may speak of "peace in our time," but Jew has fallen away from our people. Isaiah said it best: "The lamb will lie down with the (By: Rabbi Shraga Simmons) lion... and young children will play at the cobra's nest" (Isaiah 11:6). Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because that generation transgressed the three cardinal sins: idol "Shalom," the Hebrew word for "peace," comes from worship, sexual immorality, and murder. the root "shaleim," which means complete or whole. "Shalom," says the Talmud, is one of the Names of Why was the Second Temple destroyed? Because G-d, for His unity encompasses all. This "one-ness" of unwarranted hatred. is the primary theme of the Jewish This shows how great is the punishment for Pledge of Allegiance: "Hear O Israel, the Lord our unwarranted hatred. Because the generation of the G-d, the Lord is ONE!" three cardinal sins was redeemed after 70 years, yet for the generation of unwarranted hatred, its Just as the ecosystem works to perfection -- with redemption has yet to come. trees breathing carbon dioxide and clouds carrying rain, so too we seek a world where all humanity Talmud, Yoma 9 works together in harmony. This is not to suggest What does the existence of the Temple have to do that we should all act the same and ignore our with love and hatred between fellow Jews? differences. As the saying goes: "Two Jews, three opinions." But because we have differences doesn't The Temple was the main conduit for the flow of G- mean we can't love and be committed to one dliness into this world. When we had the Temple, another, learn together, and work together for there was respect for G-d, for His Torah -- and for Jewish survival. each other. There were no atheists, no doubt about G-d's existence. Every Jew acknowledged one G-d One Person, One Heart and understood the genius of His laws. The world Realize that all Jews must be united in order for the was filled with awe of G-d and love of G-d. nation to be redeemed. The verse (Exodus 19:2) As we began to lose that clarity, the flow of G- says that the Jewish people camped at Mount Sinai. dliness became severed. The prophet Ezekiel (ch. Rashi points out that the word for "camped" is 9) actually describes seeing G-d's presence written in the singular, to indicate that they were "like withdraw from the Temple. With the loss of the one person with one heart." Say the commentators: Temple, G-d has become more concealed -- Jewish unity is a prerequisite for acceptance of the resulting in a world filled not with clarity but with Torah. spiritual confusion. It is no coincidence that Further, the Midrash says: If the Jewish people were immediately following the destruction of the First lacking just one person from the 600,000 Jews at Temple (circa 421 BCE), Greek and Roman Mount Sinai, they would not have received the philosophy (as well as Buddhism and Tao) rose to Torah. their peak. Similarly, Christianity began concurrently with the destruction of the Second Temple (70 CE). Why is this? The kabbalists point out that just as 600,000 Jewish souls stood at Mount Sinai, so too Back to the Garden there are 600,000 letters in the Torah (including the Today, the world is beset by jealousy, greed, theft, white spaces between letters). Because just as a violence, lying, impatience, intolerance, deception Torah scroll is invalid if even a single letter is and fraud. We are suspicious of our neighbors and missing, so too the Jewish people are handicapped cynical of our leaders. We are factionalized and if even one Jew has fallen away from our people. worship different G-ds. Rather than cooperate, we Each and every Jew is completely integral -- compete. We are manipulative and seek advantage regardless of their beliefs or level of observance. In

בס''ד fact, one of the spices used in the incense at the Bar Kamtza appealed again: "I'd even be willing Holy Temple was "galbanum," which has a foul to pay half the cost of the entire party, if only I'd aroma. The Talmud (Kritot 6b) derives from here be allowed to stay." that even the worst sinners are inextricably bound into the community of Israel. Again the request was denied. At which point, the distraught Bar Kamtza pleaded: "I'll pay for the Redemption Today entire party! Just please don't embarrass me in Rabbi Boruch Ber Leibowitz, one of the great rabbis of this way!" pre-war Europe, was quoted as saying: "When I will stand before the heavenly court, and they will ask me, 'What The host, however, stuck to his guns and threw merit have you brought with you?' What shall I answer? Bar Kamtza out. The rabbis had observed this Torah? Is my Torah knowledge worth enough to be exchange did not protest, and Bar Kamtza took mentioned? Fear of Heaven? Are my deeds worthy of this to mean that they approved of the host's that description? There is only one thing I could possibly behavior. claim -- that I loved every Jew with all my heart. Whenever I walk in the street and I see a Jew, one The Talmud reports that Bar Kamtza was so hurt thought comes to me: A blessing on his head!'" and upset, that he went straight to the Roman The Sages teach that the Temple and all that it authorities and gave slanderous reports of represents can be rebuilt at any moment. The Midrash disloyal behavior among the Jews. This fueled the says that the Third Temple has already been constructed Romans' anger, and they proceeded to attack and in heaven, and merely awaits our preparations here on destroy the Holy Temple. earth. In every generation, an individual exists with the capacity to be Moshiach. The Jewish people have Making the Repair returned to the Land of Israel and made it bloom once We might think the Second Temple was again. G-d is ready when we are. For as King David writes in Psalms 95:7: "(Redemption will come) today -- if destroyed because of a combination of complex you hearken to His voice." reasons, a series of events out of our control. Not so. It is simply due to the sin of unwarranted hatred between Jews. When we desire the redemption of our people, the Kamtza and Bar Kamtza key is to focus on fixing what we have ruined. The The story that destroyed the Holy Temple. way to repair this tragedy is through the opposite (By: Rabbi Shraga Simmons) of its cause: Everyone must make a maximum effort to love every member of the Jewish people. The Talmud (Gittin 56) tells of a man wanted to (see Chafetz Chaim: Maamar Ahavat Yisrael, throw a party for all his friends, so he drew up a Chapter 5) guest list and instructed his servant to send out the invitations. One of the men on the guest list This is what we are lacking today, and this is what was named "Kamtza," but the servant made a mourn on Tisha B'Av. Every time you get into a mistake and invited "Bar Kamtza" instead. Oops fight with someone and you don't work it out, think -- Bar Kamtza was actually a sworn enemy of the long and hard that you are personally responsible host! for holding back the redemption. And every time you love a Jew unconditionally, we bring it When Bar Kamtza received his invitation, he was another step closer. very grateful to think that the host had finally made amends. But when Bar Kamtza showed up at the party, the host took one look and told his servant to immediately eject Bar Kamtza from the Tisha B’Av: The Pain of premises. Distance When asked to leave, Bar Kamtza said: "I understand the mistake. But it's embarrassing for On the ninth day of Av, G-d teaches us just me to leave the party. I'll gladly pay the cost of my how painful it is when He isn’t there. (By: Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld) meal if you'll allow me to stay." “When [the month of] Av begins, we lessen our joy” The host would hear nothing of this, and (Talmud Ta’anit 26b). reiterated his demand to have Bar Kamtza removed.

בס''ד The month of Av commemorates the destruction of us, being right in His presence is intimidating. How two Temples, as well as countless other tragedies could we possibly disobey Him? throughout Jewish history. It is a time in which we If the Jews were going to go it on their own, they lessen our joy. didn’t stand a chance. The Talmud (ibid. 29b) illustrates this principle. How But the Land of Israel would be different – or so the do we lessen our joy? If a Jew faces a lawsuit, he Israelites thought. They would no longer be living should delay it. His luck is bad this month; better to with a supernatural spring and manna falling from push it off. the heavens. They would have to till the soil and sow It is a very curious example. If I were authoring the the earth, growing bread through the sweat of their Talmud and wanted to illustrate lessening joy, I brow. They would live “natural” lives, just a little bit would have written, “Therefore, we do not celebrate more removed from G-d. And likewise, they would weddings, go to concerts, go to the beach, etc.” Why have to take arms to conquer the land. An all- of all things does the Talmud mention court cases? powerful G-d could do anything of course. But the Is winning in court somehow the Talmud’s definition Holy Land was not going to be a place of open of “joy”? miracles, as the Exodus from Egypt. They would have to fight for the land and occupy it on their own. Let us look at the origins of Tisha B’Av. The first And they needed to spend spies, to determine how Tisha B’Av occurred at the start of Jewish history, best they might conquer it. during the Jewish people’s sojourn in the desert. Twelve spies are sent to scout out the Holy Land But there was one problem. If the Jews were going and bring back their report. They see giants dwelling to go it on their own, they didn’t stand a chance. How in fortified cities. They return to report that that the in the world were the puny Israelites going to take land is frightful and forbidding. It would be arms against massive giants? And so they cried. impossible to conquer it; there is no point even They wanted to feel vulnerable, just a little trying. The people lose heart and cry the entire more distant from G-d. But if they were, they hadn’t night. That night was the night of Tisha B’Av. a whisper of a chance. They had much to cry about. G-d saw their tears and responded: “You cried tears G-d responded to their tears: “You want to feel of naught, and I will establish for you [on this day] distant from Me – the vulnerability of being on your tears for all generations” (Talmud Ta’anit 29a). own in this world? Then I’ll give you reason to cry. I There is certainly much poetic justice in G-d’s will withdraw the Divine protection which is the lot of response. We cried without basis, so G-d will give the faithful, and let you feel how painful life is. It was us reason to cry. But I believe when we think about too intimidating having Me close up at all times? it we will see that there is a great deal of actual Then you’ll get your wish! I’ll remove My guiding justice in G-d’s words as well. Hand. And you will see just how painful and empty life will become.” The sin of the spies really makes no sense. Why were the people so scared? Because of giants? Thus, the month of Av is the one time of year in Fortified cities? Didn’t they just witness the Ten which we cannot just glibly say everything will work Plagues and the Splitting of the Sea? Weren’t they out for the best. We cannot be so sanguine that G- subsisting daily on a well which followed them in the d will take perfect care of us. This is the one time in desert and manna which fell from heaven? Did they which G-d withdraws His Divine providence to let us really not know what any small child is taught today experience the pain of distance from Him. – that G-d is all-powerful, that He can do anything? We can now understand the Talmud’s illustration of Were they really afraid that the Creator of heaven lessening our joy: We should not go to court since and earth could not fight against a bunch of giants the odds are not in our favor. Is that the primary that He Himself created?! definition of joy? Yes, it is. There is no greater joy The answer to this revolves around one of man’s than realizing G-d is with us, and that whether we great struggles in life. Of course the Jewish people recognize it or not, everything He does for us is for knew that G-d is all-powerful. They saw this close our best. This is the one time of the year in which G- up: They were living right in His presence in the d withdraws His Loving Divine providence from us. desert. But that was just it. Living so close to an In order to show us how much we need Him, G-d omnipotent G-d is scary. He saw their every move; removes Himself from the picture just a little bit. You His Divine Presence was visibly before them in the didn’t want to be too close to Me? Then feel the Tabernacle. As much as G-d loves us and cares for distance. And you will recognize just how painful life without G-d can be.

בס''ד The Talmud there continues as follows: “Just as 9 was to me. We misrepresent the tragedy of the when Av begins we lessen our joy, when Adar day by describing it as the destruction of the two begins we increase our joy.” Adar is the month in Holy Temples, as if the catastrophe is the loss of which the holiday of Purim occurs. In the Purim a building. The American people do not mourn on story, G-d appeared to be hidden. There were no 9/11 because of the destruction of the Twin open miracles. But when the story closes and the Towers; they mourn the thousands of lives lost in salvation occurs, it was clear that even in His the conflagration. Contrast a person who mourns Hiddenness G-d was orchestrating events all along. the absence of the majestic towers to the New If sadness is not seeing G-d in our lives, the ultimate York skyline with a person who mourns the loss joy is recognizing that even when G-d appears of his/her parents caught on the 98th floor. hidden, He is really there all along, caring for us behind the scenes. If we truly learn the lesson of Av Tisha B'Av is more like a death than a destruction, and yearn to bridge the apparent distance between because on that day the world changed G-d and mankind, we will recognize that in His irrevocably. Concealment He was really there for us all along. The world without the Holy Temple is not the

same world minus one magnificent structure. The world without the Holy Temple is a totally different world. The Holy Temple was the mystical vortex Tisha B'Av: Waking Up to a between the higher, spiritual worlds and this gross, physical world. The Temple service was an World without G-d's elaborate mystical procedure that kept the Presence aperture between the worlds open and functioning. The Divine Presence manifested How to bring G-d's palpable presence back itself in the Temple and through the Temple. into our world. (By: Sara Yoheved Rigler) When the Temple was destroyed, that palpable I remember with perfect clarity the sensation of Divine Presence removed itself from our world. It waking up on the morning of March 9, 1990. In was a loss as real and as searing as death. those first few fuzzy moments of consciousness, My son was born into a world without my father. I oriented myself to where I was – in the spare He will never know how the room lit up when my bedroom of my parents' New Jersey apartment, father entered, how secure and supported dozens and what day it was – two days after my father's of people felt because of the bedrock that was my death. As soon as I realized that I had woken up father. into a world without my father, my heart plunged into a fathomless grief, like waking up into a In the same way, we who were born into a world nightmare that will never end. without the Divine Presence have never experienced the spiritual luminosity that radiated The world without my father was not simply the through the aperture of the Holy Temple. We live same world minus one; it was a totally different in a dimmer, coarser world, where physical reality world. This altered, diminished world lacked the seems like ultimate truth while spiritual reality stability and goodness that was my father. This seems like a vague phantasm. We navigate in the world wobbled on its axis; its gravitational pull was nightmare without even knowing we're in it. heavier. Divine Immanence It took me a year to adapt to this new world, to learn to navigate its emotional byways. Now, In the first Holy Temple, ten miracles were more than fifteen years later, I've become constant for all to see. Among them were that no proficient at maneuvering in this World-Without- matter how the wind was blowing, the smoke from My-Father, but it is not and will never be the same the altar always went straight up and that no world in which he was so benevolently and matter how packed the crowds of people were, at lovingly present. the point of the service that required everyone to prostrate, there was always sufficient room. The destruction of the Temple was a loss as Anyone who visited the Temple could see these real and as searing as death. miracles, these deviations in the laws of physics, The ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av – called simply by entering the Temple precincts. Tisha B'Av – is to the Jewish people what March

בס''ד While the First Temple (and the Tabernacle Avraham Isaac Kook declared: "The Temple was before it) stood, prophecy (hearing the voice of G- destroyed because of causeless hatred [among d within oneself) was commonplace. The Talmud Jews]; it can be rebuilt only by causeless love." testifies that in ancient Israel, some 3,000,000 "Causeless love" means loving every single Jews were privy to the highest spiritual level Jew, no matter how much s/he differs in possible. Schools of prophets abounded. So political or religious persuasion. rampant was Divine revelation that the Talmud could assert that all Jews were either prophets or "Causeless love" means loving every single Jew, the children of prophets. no matter how much s/he differs in political or religious persuasion. It means loving Jews at the We are like amnesiacs who experience other end of the ideological spectrum. It means fleeting memories of a different life, but the abortion-rights activists loving Hasidic Jews and grasping of it eludes us. vice versa. It means Zionists loving anti-Zionists The immanence of the Divine Presence during and post-Zionists and vice versa. It means Gush Temple times did not mean that everyone chose Katif settlers loving the security forces who are spiritual elevation. Even when G-d is present, going to evict them from their homes and vice humans can – and did – choose to go against versa. Given that the Talmud characterizes the Him. The Talmud recounts the story of Yerovoam Jews as "the most fractious of peoples" and the ben Navat, who, after the death of King Solomon, daily news corroborates that description, split the Kingdom, usurped the throne of the causeless love seems like an impossible northern half, and set up two golden calves for achievement. worship. G-d appeared to Yerovoam and said, But if someone had told me on March 9, 1990, or "Repent, and I and you and Ben Yishai [King any day thereafter, that I could bring my father David] will walk together in Paradise." Yerovoam back to life by doing X, is there anything, anything, had the gall to respond: "Who will go first?" When I would not have done? he heard that David would precede him, Yerovoam rejected the Divine offer. The most If we yearn enough to bring the Divine Presence remarkable aspect of this conversation is that G- back into our world, is there anything beyond our d appeared even to someone as wicked as capacity to achieve it? Yerovoam. The Divine Presence during the A few years ago I learned how to harness the Temple era was so pervasive and apparent that seemingly impossible to the power of yearning, anyone who bothered to open his eyes could and fly. It was during the peak of the Arab war of perceive it. terror against Israel. I had undertaken to visit How different is the world we live in! When the terror victims in hospital and to distribute teddy Temple was destroyed, the dogged illusion of bears on behalf of Kids for Kids. A couple days Divine absence settled over our world like a after a lethal bus bombing in Haifa, my 14-year- perpetual fog. In this world where Divine old daughter and I visited the Mt. Carmel hospital hiddenness has replaced Divine revelation, we where most of the injured – teenagers on their grope for proofs of G-d's existence, like fish way home from school – were hospitalized. debating about the existence of water. We are I had never been to that hospital before. Clutching relegated to "believing" when once we simply my list of terror victims in one hand and my knew. We struggle, through prayer and bulging bag of teddy bears in the other, I meditation, to experience a momentary inkling of accidentally stumbled into the intensive care unit. the Divine Presence when once we simply I asked a nurse, "Where is Daniel K.?" She basked in it. We are like amnesiacs who pointed to the bed beside me. Lying prone on the experience vague and fleeting memories of a bed was a thin, unmoving figure. I grabbed my different life, a truer identity, but the actual daughter's hand and quickly exited, but the grasping of it eludes us. specter of that boy, the only patient I had ever Tisha B'Av made orphans of us all. seen lying face-down, haunted me. In the waiting room, I sat with Daniel's desperate parents. They

Achieving The Impossible had made aliyah from Uzbekistan a few years In one essential way Tisha B'Av differs from before. They explained that 17-year-old Daniel's death: the catastrophe is reversible. As Rabbi

בס''ד lungs had been punctured in the terror attack. The When I consider the prospect of all Jews truly doctors were not hopeful. loving each other, I hear the voice of realism saying, "We can't do it." Then I ask: Can we do it I promised them I would pray for "Daniel Chai" to bring the Divine Presence back into the world? (when a person's life is in danger, a name Can we do it to dispel the choking fog of Divine expressing life or recovery is often added), but it absence? Can we do it to end all the national and was clear to all of us that nothing less than a personal catastrophes that ensue in a world miracle would save the boy. where G-d is not evident? There is a spiritual law in Judaism called, "mida To reverse the cataclysm of Tisha B'Av, is there k'neged mida," measure for measure. This means anything we can't do? that whatever humans do, G-d responds to them in kind. When we want G-d to go beyond the laws of nature, we must go beyond our own nature. Therefore, tapping into this spiritual law, I Stopping Lashon Hara suggested to Daniel's mother that she take on a A primer on how to raise our children to mitzvah she had not previously done to help save look at the positive and speak well about her son's life, and I left the hospital planning to do others. similarly. (By: Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.Psych.Assoc.) When my children started to bicker in the car on Words Are Powerful the long ride home, I told them that they could contribute to saving Daniel's life by overcoming Speech -- the ability to convey ideas and feelings their urge to fight. To my amazement, they acted through words -- is unique to human beings. It can like angels all the way home. be a tremendous blessing, but it's also ripe for abuse. The next day, I had an argument with my husband. I walked away from him feeling hurt and The words our children choose to use in rejected. I fled to my room, wanting only to expressing themselves help create their personal distance myself from him. As I sat on the edge of window on the world. my bed, I rehearsed to myself everything I had Positive forms of expression can help our children learned about life's essential choice: choosing grow into positive, optimistic people who view the between estrangement and oneness. I knew that world around them with generous and hopeful the higher road would be to reconcile with my eyes. Negative forms of expression, such as husband, or at least be open to whatever defamatory, mean-spirited speech, will cultivate conciliatory steps he took, but my whole nature in them a negative, cynical view of the world. wanted to withdraw. I sat there for some ten minutes warring with myself. I knew exactly what Speech That Is Evil I should do, but was as incapable of doing it as a It's easy to fall prey to a destructive pattern of paraplegic trying to pole-vault. Suddenly I was speaking badly about others and gossiping -- to startled to hear myself say out loud: "I can't do it." the point where it becomes a recreational activity! I answered my own voice, "Can you do it for In order to enjoy the many people in our lives, we Daniel Chai? Can you do it for that boy's life?" have to stop verbalizing the negativity and focus on their positive virtues. This takes a lot of effort "Yes!" came my resounding reply. "To save but is essential in raising happy children. Daniel's life, I can overcome my own nature." If we're always finding fault, we will naturally be When my husband came in a few minutes later, I dissatisfied, disappointed and displeased, and so battled my instinct to push him away, and lovingly will be our children. accepted his apology. I felt like a heroine. I knew that I couldn't do it, but for Daniel's life, I did it. Raising happy children requires us to impart to our offspring the ability to look at everything [Postscript: Daniel's mother took on lighting positively --situations, places and material Shabbat candles. Despite a dangerous infection objects. Most important of all is how they view that beset him that week, Daniel had a miraculous people. recovery.]

בס''ד Torah calls "evil language" anything negative, Or when a child has information that will prevent even if it's true. harm from occurring. The Hebrew term for speaking badly of others is Common Fallacies called lashon hara, literally "evil language." Beware of the excuses children and adults often Interestingly, the Torah calls "evil language" use for speaking lashon hara: anything negative, even if it's true. (Slander -- malicious, false information is called motzi shem "But it's true!" Lashon hara specifically refers ra, literally "giving another a bad name.") to sharing derogatory information when it is true. Spreading vicious lies is far worse! In sharp contrast to the Western adage about sticks and stones not hurting, Judaism looks very "If she were here I would say it to her face." gravely upon misuse of speech. Our tradition Maybe you would, and maybe you wouldn't. In teaches that lashon hara can destroy many lives, any case, it is still forbidden. even unintentionally, in one fell swoop: "Everyone knows about it." Does this justify the person speaking, you adding fuel to the fire? Even if it is on the front the person spoken about, page of the newspaper, you are still forbidden to speak about it. and the person spoken to. Parenting Tools Let's look at why. Teaching our children to avoid speaking lashon The person speaking: Although you briefly hara takes a concerted effort. Experiment with the become the center of attention when you dish out following tools: a juicy piece of gossip, in the long run people start mistrusting you. "Gee, I wonder what she says Teach by example. Showing children that it's about me when I'm not around." People don't trust a priority for you is perhaps the most important gossips and will avoid confiding in you. In the end, lesson. Don't let them hear your gossiping with you're killing your own reputation. Furthermore, your friends or relatives. Don't let them hear you because you are misusing the gift of speech that laughing at other people's expense. Even better G-d gave you, you are also lessened in His eyes. than "don't let them hear you" is not doing it -- whether they're in earshot or not. The person spoken about: The person under discussion is, of course, being killed in everyone's Discuss the importance of avoiding lashon eyes. Whether the information is true or false, it is hara. Help your children identify what is and isn't hard to take back defamatory words already proper speech. Talk about how improper speech spoken and undo the character assassination can hurt others and how it hurts the person already committed. That person's reputation is speaking lashon hara. There are a number of forever blemished. excellent Jewish books that can help you. The person spoken to: Interestingly enough, Discourage "tattling." When your kids come to this is the person who is the most culpable, even "tell on" someone, tell them you aren't interested though s/he is seemingly the innocent one. All in reports of someone else's bad behavior, but s/he did was listen! But the Talmud says that that you're available if they need help or advice. listening to lashon hara is even worse than Get in the habit of not using names. There's speaking it; the person had the power to stop it no need for you to know the names of problem and didn't. Now the transgression is complete. students at school unless you'll have a direct role Exceptions to the Rule in addressing the issue. Focus the discussion on your child's feelings, worries and concerns. If he Of course, there are times we are all owed to or she needs protection that requires your speak share negative information about others; in intervention, tell him or her that it is proper to tell fact, there are times it is an obligation to do so. you the name of the offending child. For example - when a friend is about to be become financially involved with a person we Don't fall into the trap of casual lashon know to be unethical, or seriously dating a person hara. At dinner and at other family times, bring we know to be abusive or otherwise unsuitable. books to the table to discuss or talk about current events. When you discuss what

בס''ד happened in each person's day, focus on what because of all the Jewish tears Jews have shed they learned that day and how they felt. Show there over the centuries. your children that there are more interesting During the 1900-year exile, Jews would travel to things to talk about than other people's poor Jerusalem at great expense and danger, just to behavior. have the chance to pray at the Wall. There, they Give positive reinforcement. Be sure to would pour their hearts out to G-d, beseeching commend your kids when they manage to tell him for Jewish redemption. They watered the Wall you about school or neighborhood problems with their tears and melted the stones with their without mentioning who was involved. Let kisses. them know that you're proud of them - and that GLASS OF TEARS G-d is too. The following story is told about the Chatam Reminders! Tape a reminder to the telephone: Sofer, the great 19th century Hungarian rabbi: "No Lashon Hara!" Put up signs on the fridge and in other prominent locations around the house. One afternoon before Tisha B'Av, the Chatam Sofer, a great 19th century European sage, would Study it. Read a small section of the laws of neither study Torah nor write responsa. He simply lashon hara each day during dinner or at your closed himself in a room. Shabbat table. Encourage discussion and examples. One of his disciples could not restrain his curiosity and quietly opened the door of the room. He saw the Chatam Sofer weeping bitterly over the destruction of the Temple, his tears falling into a Tears on Tisha B'Av glass in front of him. At the meal before the fast, the Chatam Sofer It's a dynamic that transcends generations: drank from the tears collected in the glass, in Tisha B'Av and the future of Jerusalem are fulfillment of the verse (Psalms 80:6): "You fed inextricably linked. them with the bread of tears, and gave them tears (By Rabbi Shraga Simmons Aish.com) to drink in great measure." If I forget you Jerusalem When the Jewish people were slaves in Egypt, May I forget my right hand the redemption did not come about until they cried May my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth out to G-d (see Exodus 3:7). So too, the future If I ever don't think of you redemption will follow the same pattern: When the If I don't raise up Jerusalem above my highest Jewish people cry out to the Almighty, He will hear joy their cry and redeem them. - Psalms 137:5,6 Do we appreciate the loss of the Temple to the extent that it brings us to tears? This is precisely The first historic tragedy to occur on Tisha B'Av the level we strive to achieve on Tisha B'Av. was when the Jews in the generation of Moses accepted the Spies' slanderous report, thereby Hashem should speedily rebuild the Bet squandering the chance to fulfill their destiny in Hamikdash in our Days Amen! Israel. Upon realizing the gravity of their mistake, the people sat down to cry (Deut. 1:45). They realized that the land had been promised, but only their fears prevented them from going forward. At which point G-d responds: "Today you cried for nothing; in the future I'll give you a real reason to cry." (Talmud - Ta'anit 29a) And we've been crying ever since. Both tears of sadness and tears of hope. The Western Wall in Jerusalem is also called the "Wailing Wall,"