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UCLA UCLA Electronic Theses and Dissertations Title Openness to the Development of the Relationship: A Theory of Close Relationships Permalink https://escholarship.org/uc/item/2030n6jk Author Page, Emily Publication Date 2021 Peer reviewed|Thesis/dissertation eScholarship.org Powered by the California Digital Library University of California UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA Los Angeles Openness to the Development of the Relationship: A Theory of Close Relationships A dissertation submitted in partial satisfaction of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Philosophy by Emily Page 2021 © Copyright by Emily Page 2021 ABSTRACT OF THE DISSERTATION Openness to the Development of the Relationship: A Theory of Close Relationships by Emily Page Doctor of Philosophy in Philosophy University of California, Los Angeles, 2021 Professor Alexander Jacob Julius, Chair In a word, this dissertation is about friendship. I begin by raising a problem related to one traditionally found within some of the philosophical literature regarding moral egalitarianism: that of partiality and friendship, except that I raise the issue of partiality within the context of one’s close relationships. From here I propose a solution to the problem based on understanding a close relationship as one in which friends possess the attitude of openness to the development of the relationship. The remainder of the dissertation is concerned with elaborating upon and explaining this conception of friendship and its consequences. In the course of doing this I propose a theory of the self and how we relate to one another, consider the importance of the psychophysical self, explore the notion of mutual recognition, reflect on relationship’s end, and, finally, explore the connections between friendship and play. ii The dissertation of Emily Page is approved. Daniela J Dover Barbara Herman Gavin Lawrence Alexander Jacob Julius, Committee Chair University of California, Los Angeles 2021 iii Table of Contents Acknowledgments………………………………………………………………..…v Preface………………………………………………………………………………x Vita……………………………………………………………………………..….xiv Chapter 1 Relationships Egalitarianism…………………………………………..….1 Chapter 2 Other-Discovery……………………………………………………….…66 Chapter 3 Embodied Friendship: Selves in Communication……………………..…98 Chapter 4 Relationship’s End and Other Vantage Points………………………..…136 Chapter 5 Radical Openness: Friendship and Play……………………………..…..194 iv Acknowledgments I think of offering my thanks as similar, in a sense, to observing and appreciating a great and clear night sky over the seasons. Not only do you have your north star, or what have you, to guide you along the way, but you have all sorts of many constellations and patterns of stars to appreciate along the way, emerging at different times as the year unfolds. Partly they are interconnected by pre-established patterns, but, mostly, they are not. The extent to which they are not is a matter of recognizing and appreciating them as they come. I start with my north star in these thanks, and proceed throughout to recognize the various beautiful constellations and patterns that emerged along the way. First I would like to thank my dissertation committee chair, AJ Julius for his philosophical acuity, his willingness to indulge my sometimes unorthodox ideas and methodology, and perhaps most importantly, his unwavering support, kindness, and belief in my philosophical ability. Under no other supervisor could I have completed this dissertation. Secondly, I would like to thank Daniela Dover in particular for her thoughtful contributions throughout, and, additionally, for her help with regard to the practical side of completing the dissertation process. I extend my sincere thanks to the rest of my committee as well: Barbara Herman and Gavin Lawrence. I thank my UCLA philosophical friends and colleagues who have contributed directly to this philosophical project, present and former, and especially extend thanks to Aaron West, Jonathan Gingerich, Tristen Cardwell, and Alexi Patsaouras. v I also extend thanks to my very first philosophy instructor, Timothy Linehan for his continued support and philosophical correspondence over the years. Ultimately I have his class to thank for the eventual outcome of my receiving a PhD in the subject. I thank our current and former department staff. I particularly extend my sincerest thanks to our former Student Affairs Officer Tanya Kim for her monumental kindness, support, and general wonderfulness. The department would not have been as inviting without these staff members. Next I would like to thank the professors outside of the philosophy department who offered me support and encouragement with respect to my multidisciplinary interests and who fostered my growth toward, hopefully, the next adventure in my life. In particular, I would like to thank musicologist Raymond Knapp and composer and music theorist David S. Lefkowitz. I thank both for their patience, kindness, and willingness to believe in my aspirations, and, of course, for their encouragement regarding my current program and dissertation. I am indebted to Ray for helping me begin to develop as a scholar of music. Particular thanks is owed to David S. Lefkowitz for his two-year music theory course sequence, which constituted my favorite class I have enrolled in up to this point in my educational career…and at the risk of embarrassing myself, I further admit that it was even one of the highlights of my life. I also extend my thanks to those who took a chance on me when I first began my interdisciplinary trajectory, despite little existing background in hand at the time. Thanks to musicologist Elizabeth Upton who allowed a curious philosophy graduate student to take her medieval polyphonic manuscripts seminar as my first-ever musicology course. Similarly, I extend thanks to composer Ben Phelps for allowing me into his introductory music theory course vi and getting me started with the UCLA music theory course sequence in the first place. I extend thanks to composer Dante De Silva as well for his involvement throughout the music theory sequence, too. Though I am but an amateur musician, I think I am safe in saying that music theory pedagogy at UCLA is absolutely first-rate. However, I extend my most personal thanks with respect to my interdisciplinary interests to my friend Anahit Rostomyan for helping to inspirit these interests and the possibility of pursuing them professionally. While these interests do not substantially appear within this dissertation, hopefully they will appear in another one someday soon. I would further like to thank even those whose role in my life may not immediately seem relevant to this academic feat. I offer my thanks first to the profession I hold perhaps the most esteem for outside of the fields music and poetry. Thank you to my my hair professionals, and especially to my colorist Emily Neri. Your work and the sense of community I derive from my visits to you have been helpful beyond what your services might superficially suggest. Yours are hair-acquaintanceships I will not easily forget. Not only have you set a high standard, turning me into something of a hair snob, but my visits to you have kept me sane more than you know over the course of my time in the program. Though you might not realize it, your conversation has been filled with both philosophical insight and general insightfulness about life, and has even had an impact on this dissertation. In any case, your hair skills and work outshines that of my own philosophical work in this dissertation! Almost every idea expressed in this dissertation was written out by hand with pencil and paper before appearing in this manuscript. In a very practical sense, then, I have the finest pencil, vii stationery, and office supply store in the world to thank. My sincere thanks are owed to CW Pencil Enterprise and to Caroline Weaver, the best small business owner that I know of. Long after the filing of this dissertation will our pencil-acquaintanceship endure. Your work, the example you have set, and the community you have effected continue to inspire me. Though I lived in Los Angeles for the duration of this program, I like to think of this dissertation as unfolding, crucially, in light of my experiences in better parts of the country, and thus I offer an abstract thanks to place. I owe thanks to the great American Northeast, from the mid-Atlantic to the land that continually inspires me more than anywhere else: New England. I truly believe that my experiences in this region have made me a better person and this dissertation stronger. While there is nothing so inspiring as a person, second to that is a community and a culture that inheres in a time and place. My love, my self, belongs to the northeast—and though not quite as vast as persons, but almost as beautiful, to the deciduous trees that populate the region. For Amy Lowell it is the lilac that emblazons her New England spirit, for me, it is the deciduous tree. But perhaps most importantly, I would like to thank my friends—some of whom have already been mentioned in another capacity—to whom I dedicate this dissertation. While there are too many of you to enumerate, I would like to give special mention to Paul, Olivia, Zach, Eddy, and Andrew. Lastly, I would like to thank my dad Mark, and special thanks to RCP, who will remain named only by his initials. viii All of you have not only contributed either intellectually or pragmatically to the completion of this dissertation, but have helped shaped who I have become along the way. I am sincerely grateful and indebted to every one of you—it has been so much fun! ix Preface Sometimes when contemplating the value of philosophy I am tempted toward the infamous conclusion of James Wright’s poem “Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota:” Over my head, I see the bronze butterfly, Asleep on the black trunk, Blowing like a leaf in green shadow.

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