5c-A* ^f^
He wants a brave new University, Forget your songs, runs the Wh(jr e undergrads will all decree be kept In cages; — Students should be seen And there they will be fed >ajejii|u&jc but never heard; efficiently You'll graduate in dull On predigested tidbits of solemnity. the wisdom of the THE U.Q.U. NEWSPAPER Now "Gaudeamus" is de- ages. dared a dirty word. Regtstered at tl>e C.P.O., Brisbans. lor Friday, April 28, 1961 transmission by post as a periodical. Volume 31, No. 4
Atithorised by J. Fogarty and J. B. Dalton, c^^nlversify Union Offices, St. Lucia. Printed by Watson, Ferguson and Co., Stanley Street, Soulh Brisbane
iiiiiMi^iMiriiiiiG:
Mr. Bishopp said that pranks he considered in "I'll really fix things for us," he said. bad taste were squirting policemen with a solu "I'll issue the force with new orders. No tion of chewing guna and arsenic, or sinking arresting Varsity men. If any cops are sprayed American ships. with bubble gum and arsenic they must stand still He said that the until their flat feet develop tinea. first mentioned prank "No interfering with any pranks at all by was "shocking" as the Varsity men. Anything is allowed at the proces poor policemen's flat sion. Smut, nudes, politics, smut — say maybe feet were glued to the we could do a float on the joke about the old priest and the young priest. "Just so we'll be safe I'll get all the bodgies ground with the gum/ rounded up for the week. arsenic mixture which "Come on, let's go and paint hymns on the then penetrated the C.I.B. roof," he said, as we left the cfiUs with feather and gave the flat our soles uplifted by the chewing "gum/arsenic feet tinea. mixture. The second prank had hurt millions of Americans because the ship sinking had reminded "Frankly. I think all students ought to be them of the terrible days o^ Pearl Harbor. cast . . . You're from the Press, are you? ... Oh, in that case, as I was saying, I think all students Ju5t the vr\ the phone should be cast in as lenient a light as possible rang, and ge tting off his with respect to their actions on Commem. day. knees, Mr Bishopp Police Commissioner (Mr. Bishopp) said answered: "^ 4rster Schon- this yesterday, during a Press Conference In his nell — whoi ' Oh. you're ascetically furnished cells. a University student. Oh, the VICE - CHANCEL- Then, on the steps of his residence he "When you con LOR. well h ow are you delivered this stirring oration to a deeply affected sir. sider how much the crowd: "You'll what? Why "For, brethren, it is meet that on this Hay we future of not only certainly, Pre d is it? Why should not restrain our youthful sp'Pts. We should the learning they are acquiring and the extent yes Fred old man can unburden our minds of all the clutter that fills to which that learning must tense them up during fix that. them throughout the year. the year then it is only natural that they should let off steam," he said. "You say that I'll get an Honorary Doc "It is expected of us to display our criticism torate of Criminology. and mistrust of all formality and infringements of However, as he scratched his ton<;urft, Mr. our liberty. How better, then, can we do this Bishopp warned that this did not mean that than by a wild procession through the street: students would be able to let of steam irrespon wherein we act without caution or heed of the sibly. pettifogging restrictions imposed on us by the priggish mentalities of professional paragons. "And if we should affront these petty dig nities it ^•s not a stain on our character, but at, "O.K. if that's all you want I'll send four expression of our rebellious spirit, the spirit that of my toughest men over to police the parking has fired all movements of revolutionary reform regulations at the Uni." he said. Mr. Bishopp then grinned at us cherubically over his white collar and explained in joyous tones that we were confreres. He was now a Varsity "Of course when they let off steam we man. expect them to let off steam Intelligently. Mr. Bishopp then barkened back to his "The General Public and I can appreciate a original subject — student pranks. Pressing his palms piously together he asked good honest prank, such as putting chalk marks "Sing your bawdy songs, drink vour linuor whether he could maybe come along on a prank on police car tyres,, but when they transcend gluttonously, and follow your obscene procession, the bound of good taste nobody appreciates their as he was now a Varsity man. —^ and make the world take note that all attempts so called attempts «t^BMiuuiXhe said to stifle your freedom of expression have been in vain." SEMPER GOES MAD PAGES 8 & 9 PAGE 2 SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PUT IT IN BLACK & WHITE, - IT'S A RIOT (Dr. eWQERD)
some of the actors arc not College, or oven Kruschev, alas, jubilantly colebratlngr, Therefore, let us make 19SI the year In University studonta. Why should they be? forgets that It was our methods, which in- which wc take the Initiative by organising The name has no legal or binding signific 8plro
cR'r'6'i£ , on oEMONsrft/i-Ts ^o^'f/i'^ TUB \ ffJ MY NATIVE Lfi^D ^JTHE HUMAtJirtES^— TRfi&lC — THE POLICE wEffs ovro YOU MATERIALISTIC OPPRESSION ^' Titer ivATCHSD YOUR evedv mi THE ORDER CP THB D^Y tAOfilQONO , 7,' Move
REDUCED TO tlO ftOOU FCli DULL PBDA-unc GfilfJO SRimrUAL VALUBS \J-> "^ evEffy YEAf^ liO/la fie STOICTIOUS eAt/S
TeCHNOLOOy K/Aj rue. ee-AtL
FREEDOM OF EXPff£SSlON \VAi PBAP . WE HAD TO GBT OUT ...
Dear Sirs, I wholeheartedly support tho views ex social nieoly overdose oK ether trne newuian blues pressed by tho Disappointed Freshcretto. Dear SIr.i. Dear Sirs, Dear Sirs, I am another person who Is thoroughly Par bo it for mo lo force my own dis Seeing you hnvo brought tho Newman diagustod wih tho ways Newman is func likes upon others; and I have noticed as Society out into the open with "Disap tioning. tho years have gone by that tho Freshers pointed Fresherettc's" letter, may I ask It Is no longer an Undergraduate society _ . *{(«.l»tf>L . each year are younger and younger. But why tho Studonta* Union allows such a and does Httlo to cater for their needs. I do feel that If they wish to llston to tho society to carry on its activities In the Tho President Is a graduate and most of UP Children's Session, that the Union University? What Is it trying to do to tho offlco bearers are already graduates or .should set aside a special room for thorn, tho University?—Convert everyone to the In their final, years of their course. The rather than broadcast It to tho whole Re Papacy? committee mombors rarely como In con- • tact with tho first and second year students, fectory. —"SUSPICIOUS". —AV. Ii. GRIFFITHS, as they have their own Interests.' —t'RUSTRATED (Economics, Evening). Why not wo form a Newman Social dub? ' . —PAmPIiAY. SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961 PAGE 3 a word from an old friend Dear Sirs, Dear Sirs, S^empm^A The spiritual values of tho West arc dis I have been an ardent reader of S.F. integrating Into atomistic schizophrenia, for the past six years and 1 have noticed Three cheers for the Senators! They have deemed the time to be the Integrity of the Individual is dally being that In tho last four years that many Let ripe to go one step further in their policy of removing students from the whittled away by the bcurcaucratic "Levia" ters lo the Editor" have been written by than, international politics has become an D. Goldbergcr. University. Their latest effort is a decision not to allow the Musical Society anarchic jungle dominated by the untram- Does B. Goldbergcr really exist, or la he to partake in this year's Graduation Ceremony. mcUod ambitions of Irresponsible power paucdonym of the various editors through blocs, tho Senate is infiltrating the Univer out the years who have, owing to lack of At the same time last year the Senate held the axe above the sity while the University Is being Invaded "Letters to the Editor" packed or stuffed choir's head by decreeing that if there were any irresponsible behaviour by Immature, vulgar, mindless adolescents, the column wlib intellectual, controversial on the part of choir members, then the society would not be admitted to yet Semper persists In pandering to tho and nonsense under this name? any future Graduation Ceremonies. The result was an evening intoxicated Gaudean swine by filling up precious space H.applly I may add as I am not exiled with "rigger mortis", but at least the choir members did behave themselves. with ••siipiH)scdly" humorous trivialities. lo the St. Lucia are.% I have never been Gentlemen don't you realise the responsi able lo test the hypothesis. It Is a great pity that this blow has been the .archives: Ihoy will no longer have bility of your office? Arc you prepared to My friends tell me that Mr. Goldbergcr '.olivored upon the Musical Society. Time their annual airing, ami v.ill, to tho sn:- fiddle while Western Civilisation and all does exist and is an eccentric member of ma not allowed tills LTniver.sity to mellow, dcnta of tho next decade, be complc'.ely It stands for burns? Or will you accept the staff of the Philosophy nepartmont, .vlth tho result that tr.adltions are sadly strange. your allotted burden and attempt to en who is compiling a thesis on the "Nature acking in
mm
•'...* ffou^ u^e're all right- W.C. GIRLS UP IN ARMS
^^i think students nre beastlff • . . '*
MEDS ON COMMEM. Commem is with us, but for many students, especially the Freshers, this important fact: will remain of very little significance until Commem Week actu ally arrives. Then, caught in the fringe of-enthusiasm for celebration engineered by those about to Graduate, etc., they will start asking ojie another questions, e.g.: "What can we splash paint on?" "On which night shall we do without sleep to splash paint; move lavdtories, etc.?" "What is a good topic for a float?" But by then it's too late. Late, LATE ! ! ! —Even this article is one Semper too late. WTiat to do about itr Extracts from editorials 0/ last year's Whacko! and the post-Commem Semper express our jeelings suitably. There seems to have been a general decay right" should accompany the Marshall's pro of the student tradition. gress across the stage. Many, of course, fail to see anything in That is why the audience should sing this and murmur the blessed word "Progress," "Gaudeamus" as loudly as possible. which they confuse with "improvement." That is why the Chancellor should be howled Such people are usually very young. down. Our photo shows (I. to r.): Pam Netterfield. Lyn Fletcher. Jenny Traditional HMgee are merely the outward That is why fowls should be released in the Bolton and Helen Owen (an American Rotary Scholar) on their way to a manifettaKon of HM inner spirit of an inttlhi- Gallery and snow storms should descend from secret midnight meeting to discuss the University Lake. Below is printed a tion. When the usages 39, it is a sign tho the ceiling. record of their conversation which led to the sending of one of the many inner spirit has at least changed, er even de Time is passing, but we are not going to letters which Samper has received, all complaining about the state of cayed. let it get us down. That is why we oansider this year's Cere the. Lake. Therefore, we think that is both signifi mony to have been a miserable failure. cant and distressing that students at parties So far as we know, there is only one other sing musical comedy hits rather than traditional L.F.: "I tell you it's a crying shame, it's L.F.: "And the weeds . . ." Australian University which insists on a "dig student songs, that the Commem. Pracs. becoming a regular Sargossa Sea . . . P.N.: "Yes, if Duchesne's crocodile ever nified" ceremony—Tasmania. have become Just another series of Saturday J.B.: "And no birds sing . . ." got loose in there . . ." May we sound a plaintive note in be night dances, that the Graduation Ceremony P.N. I "There's only one black swan left L.F.: "We must do somisthing . . ." moaning the gradual, and it seems, complete it has become just another Speech-night, that P.N.: "We could ask the Government . . ." extinction of the Commem Prac. proper. Commem Week has become just another ex J.B.: "Alone and palely loitering . . ." L.F.; ".They're too busy, and with Held once weekly, the Pracs. were prim cuse for a booze-up. L.F.: "And the Snow Goose mign'f come Credit Squeezes and Collinsville . . ." arily for the singing of the songs printed In back this year . . ." J.B.: "Anyway, I don't like the Govern What we and students of th« past 50 years Whacko, and this, it seams, achieved an under P.N.: "You can't see the water for the ment . . . it's awful what they're doing to have known hat {gone—and we don't much graduate spirit which we, in i960, might well weeds . . ." It like what hat taken itt place. envy and try to emulate. L.F.: "And it used to be pleasant . . ." L.F.: "You keep quiet ... the country's In Commem Week, people are admitted ter Let those who find the idea in congre H.O.: "Back in the States . . ." in the very best of hands . . ." the degrees for which they have spent three, gating to sing student songs infra Hig, enquire L.F.: "Yes, no doubt, but it WAS so H.O.: "Back in the States . . ." four, five, or more years' hard study—this, it of Under Graduates of some ten or more years pleasant . . . artists with their easels, students P.N.: "We could ask the Union to do self, is something worth celebrating. But ago, as to the popularity of the Pracs. with philosophy books, couples punting, swans something . , .'* their graduation means that they are entering In 1952, when Dug. Cameron waved the and ducks gliding over the water ... it was L.F.: "No, they've got troubles of their a new state of life, that they are no longer Commem Conductor's Bone, students sang, su?h a lovely English scene . . ." own , . ." 'students, but something else, that time has vshether actually at a Prac, or massed on the P.N.: And the games we used to play P.N,: "We must do something . . . some passed on. fcotpath outside the G.P.O. las frequently down by the lake at night . . ." of these religious fanatics out here might It is this that gives Commem a touch of happened on Commem days), or crammed in H.O.: "Back in the States . . ." start walking in the water . . . could give 'sadness which must be answered by more side the 4KQ studio las also occurred peri J.B.: "But the blrd^ have flown, they them wrong ideas than a touch of hilarity. odically to the extreme annoyance of 4KQ and might never come back . . ." H.O.: "Back in the States . . That is why we celebrate birthdays and New the bewilderment of the listening public). P.N.: "What can we do, what can we J.B.: "I know, we can write a letter to Year's Eve with a great deal of noise. What about it, Union Council^ You are do (wringing her hands) ... I'm finding it the Editor of Semper That Is why the Graduation Ceremony should our chosen leaders in all things. Hore, we harder than ever to tiptoe through the tulips L.F.: "A good idea now let's see ^bc uproarious. feel, Is the best positive action io beat stu" Dear Sir or Madam . That Is why a chorus of "Left-right, left- dent apathy. "H.O.: "Back in the States . . ." SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961 PACT 6 RENAISSANCE OF UNI THEATRE Historians still cannot decide the exact date when the Renaissance began. Probably they never will, but the Renaissance of University Theatre can most definitely be dated from 1958 — and Scoop 1. Scoop burst upon a University whose theatre had sunk to its lowest point ever. The Dramatic Society was the battle-ground for competing cliques; the Revue was sliding into a stagnant decay in which obscenity masqueraded as humour. But then came Scoop I and the University Theatre was back on theroad to self-respect. A small group of talented personalities, on their own Initiative and without Union aid. produced the best Revue Queensland has seen for years. And the brilliance of the first Scoop was sustained m fol lowing Scoops 11, til. and iV. Scoop infused a new spirit into University Theatre. Within a year of its birth, its success prompted other groups to produce good theatre. , _ anil Purlesfque Sattrosfpectibe These were — (a) Bryan Nason's College Opera, devoted to the production of Comic (Bptxn tmitioMv nm^^tit Gilbert and Sullivan. (b) The Tree Theatre Croup. The College Opera's production of Gilbert and Sullivan's H.M.S. (c) A reformed Dramatic Society, forced to meet the challenge Pinafore last week in the Albert Hall did its producer, actors and ail con Scoop and the other groups were offering. nected with it. proud. This is not to say that the production was not And so Scoop had a decided seminal influence on University Theatre. without shortcomings, indeed it abounded with many minor and some It showed that a small group with talent and enthusiasm could by its own major faults. But the fact that there is one group energetic and enthusiastic efforts produce a brillant Revue. Scoop has now grown and developed to enough and with enough initiative to undertake to produce C. and S. in this the stage where it attracts a huge town audience as well as students. It city is enough to make any production difficulties small in comparison with has reached its maturity in Scoop IV; its days of adolescence are over. the magnitude of the undertaking. The Producers of Scoop, John Helman and Tony Skoien whom we Pinafore Is a good naturcd satire on homo with his part, and this is best seen English political and marine affairs and in his noticeable change in character when cannot praise too highly for their work in Scoop over the years, have shown cspecSaUy on pomposity; and Gllborfa ho becomes a mcmV^cr of the crew. this in their willingness to experiment, a sure-sign of mature self-con subacid satii-e Is Just as relevant today aa John Smiles, as Ralph, has a voice admir fidence. Scoop, the p'oneer of the University Theatre Renaissance, will It was when this operetta was first pro ably suited to G. & S. work, but one has inevitably continue to be the best Revue in Brisbane for its brilliant tradi duced. the Impression that he felt uncomfortable It lacks any sort of dramatic moment, on Ihe stage. tions have attractci! to it the best of University talent. but the cheerful cxuborance of the music r.lslc Potgev waa quite a find for the and the captivating Inanity of the book group, and as Little Buttercup, after a hal both come through, but the production tering start, quickly took command of her review ciirrent. • • failed to blond the two into a harmonious part and by her technical oxcollenco, aa whole. well as by her obvious experience, she cap SCOOP, as usual, was a howling success and, as usual, the success Peter HocUcr, as the Right Hon. Kir tured the hearts of tho audience oa well was deserved. Moreover, naturally enough, a large slice of the glory goes Jo8ei)h Porter, has mastered tho as tho.se of the cast. to Helman and Skoien, Their solo performances, in particular, were high acting mannerisms that are tra Tlie ehornscs enunciated well and blond- lights of the pogramme and in themselves worth the admission fee. ditionally associated with this rolo, cd well, but again failed to folIotT anj' hut he suffers from ovor-emphasis on consistent bejit. Patrons forming qu3ues hundreds of yards long and delaying starting time for up to pronunciation and enunciation which vo- On the proilnetion side, the costumes half-an-hour indicate that Scoop this year was extraordinarily popular. They also enjoyed aults in his losing tho boat on seveial occa wore excellent, and Helped considerably in themselves once they had struggled and fought their way to their seats if the range of laughs sions and paradoxically in a lack of reported creating the atmosphere. from the high pitch of college freshers to the decp-hroated bass of the elders of the com clarity In his diction. llr. Naaon and his group are to be con munity can be taken as a measure of their appreciation. l
Page tO SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, If61 mm wMEf ms®m Well, kiddies, horo It your bedHmo story. this. Thus people were always complalnlna about the Government. Once upon a time there was a far. distant planet called S'rius 3. It was a part of a far Tlio people couldn't laugh at themselves 6*/ flung Empire, the Emperor of which lived far, —but this is a failing not restricted to tho far away on another world in a different pcopio of Sirius 3. Is it? Solar system, so that naturally he was quite The speech was most odd. It was sup an unreal figurehead to the people of Sirius posed to be the language of the Empire, but this was so embellished wit hwords peculiar to the planet and the words which were He made periodic visits to the planet and Emp're were pronounced in such a strange way the people on these occasons would then that visitors could not understand it. it came turn out in full regalia and give him a great in for a lot of criticism from the purists, but ovation, but apart from that he was only this did not seem to do much good and it ever heard of when he had a ch'ld, or did just got worse and worse. Some, of course,, something equally of interest to the news did this deliberate like just to annoy the papers. purists. The rest didn't care. Now Sirius 3 was only a little planet but The funny thing was, they thought them the people liked to think of themselves as selves very cosmopolitan and sophisticated, the planet keeping the peace between the especially the peop'e of the cities, which, ^%<^ two great blocs of the galaxy, which of course after all were only the size of country towns was silly because they could not belong to by Galaxy standards. The city people looked the Neutral bloc being part of the Empire. down on the country people as country bump kins, and the country peop'e looked down on /•'^''j "\'%tjdy fa.^ ^ACM,V-t//)i SuT my do t/K $&inc ifve^gi- T rti.rt/ Their Consul thought himself a great states the city people as beneath their contempt, man; they thought this of him too, but he both forgetting that each knew many things was the man who caused continual red faces unknown to the other, and that each could in the Galaxy Council, because he was the "^iy Co' MiUhAfi or lififi/'M give the other many things. They were rt' one who trod on the tees of the Neutral btoc always complaining of the arrogance of the r«ec(it:*i 77irt« 5y' '?'^(y Ta// lAc^ ifft=' all the t'me. He was always tryir^g to sit on other, each making out that he was humble. i.echei?i;s. lH«y alt -nifojj^ the fence over controversial issues so that both sides in an argument would think that he The Universities! Need anything more be was on the other side. Thus ho was not very said? ttnorant' young pups! Think they know popular with anyone outside Sirius 3. everything. Well, just look at them. Look at their silly pranks, their h'qhfalutin' On the planet itself the Press was on his iannuage, their pecu'iar clothes. Look at that side and hailed all his faux pas as masterly awful procession they have every year. Isn't statesmanship, so that alt but the most dis it dis-iustim! Le*'s mnv'e a little closer so we cerning of the poop'e thought ho was won can see it properly. Wee, just like I thought. derful. Their cr'ficisms went unheard, or if 1 don't know how the Polce can possibly let they were heard, they were dismissed (I can't such filth through to parade the streets in read my own writing) 'as just the thoughts of public. those who didn't know who they were talking about. YeSj everything the papers say about them in Tht. i\}^tLlo^1: ' Is so well merited, isn't if, ducks. I say, look far :.ii'r '- T^'^7^ Visitors who came to the planet were at this, it says here in this — paper — that l.s"rA/w^ 'L7I'^ I amazed at the advanced civilisation of it. there is going to be a boatrace at the Treasury They had always imagined it as a frontier Hotel today. What's a boatrace? Excuse me I THtfc WdS A planet. However, when they made criticisms young man what is a boatrace? A drinking the people were up in arms about foreigners competition? Thank heavens I'M in the Tem who were there a few weeks and felt they perance League. Students! » Rz^ntt /tad ^^Au/1eJ knew enough about the place to crific'se. They were particularly thin-skinned about the status The people of the planet were very back SaT J !<> ncT ward with regard to Cu'ture. They thought of wonnen because they thought they treated FOOL their women as equals, which was true in it unmanly — especially for men to be cavort ax am' Al fJaw« theory, but not in practice. Th's was especi ing around teh stage singing and dancing. ally with regard to married women. The b-— queens. They S'l'e michid.. There was quite a strong censorship. In It was a peculiar culture, being in a state fact, this article has probably geen censored. of flux.—a changeover from a cu'ture where 1 live there. ^R5,*( O^'JvJ'V-l/p.i ^^I'iT 8« di/m6 To ^o To rdW.Ty the family took complete responsib'lity for the aged and infirm and the rich regarded it as a Well, kiddies, I hope you have built up holy duty to help the poor to one in which a picture of th's very interesting planet. Sorry the state took over complete responsibility for it turned out to be a Geography lesson.
Mad Letters iiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiNiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to the Editor WHAT IS TINA'S I have a confession to make— St. Augustine. I must protest—Martin Lulher. PARH IM ? I think Simper Editors are cracked— B. Goldberger. (Me, too—Robbie) immiiiiiiiimiinimiiMiiniimiiiiiMiiiiiiiiiiiiii Scmpcr's "Crat'kcd" Dorotliy Dlx Column: PUBLIC NOTICE "I am going with a very nice boy. I am u le.'ipoctable pirl and my brother Is In The Government of Germany hereby gives tho Country Party. But, Doiothy, my Public Notice that Adolf Elchmann, for undo is at present serving sie\en years for merly of Europe, 1ms not paid his gas bill lapo and extortion; my mother ran off for tho period. September. 1938, to August, with my father's beat friend; and my slater 1945, If the above-mentioned bill bo not is living with a grcaacr. paid on on before Juncl, 1961, tho said Ijhoultl I tell my boy-frlcncl about my Elchmann's gas supply will bo dlscontiauod. brollicr who's In tho Country P Scene when Union Vice-President Peter Roeser A^4er you qet I dorvt Okf>|prove of Enters Union Council Chambers SEX SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961 Pag* It FREEDOM LIMITED IS LOST EDITORIAL . Commem., like Christmas, sing student songs; let us Recenl-ly a Sunday-Mail columnist, Tom Linneth in his column, "Why Keep it Quiet?" comes but once a year and it emulate the historic pranks of too should be celebrated. But yesteryear and toast them In made unjustified attacks on the reputation of the sportsmen of the University. He claimed that a for some years now there has mammoth pub crawls. Come, Union — League Civil War was waging between followers of the different codes and he claimed been f^e regrettable tendency fellow students, CBO day for students (as well as the of riotous celebration won't Union players were stooping to foul and underhand methods to stifle the growth of the League poneral public) to rcoard Com jeopard'se your careers for Club. mem as a spectator sport ever. The average student has shown Besides Cn'^'^em. has a Professor Gordon Green Union follotvers are certainly a marked reluctance to enter very real significance for ut, wood, President of the Football not dismayed by the advent Oi into the real tpirit of Coom- ^iisdents af a specialised and C!ub, naturally sought to repl^ League, Why should they bet A.N.ZA.A.S. SCIENTIST TO mc^. decentralised University, It It to Linneth's snide and unjusti They belong to one of the We urge you, fellow stu 'he one day which this fied attack on University strongest and most active clubs dents, to to return to the tra specialisation of our student sportsmen. He wrote to the in the University; they play the ditions of past Commems. community is overcome, Com Sunday-Mail refuting Linneth's game that other Universities DECIDE FATE OF WORLD when it was a real student mem. is the one day in student celebration, the continuatior attack. The S.-M., however, play; they have a proud football EXTRACTS FROM AN A.B.C, PROGRAMME ' fe when students forget their cut Professor G'eenwood's let record; and they know the at of the rivalry between towr f.-culty differentiation and ter, removed all its force, and traction to a student of ihe Union Tho Australian and New five hundred individual papers and gown. Let us celebrate a'l became brother students. published a completely emas (;ame. Zealand Association for the in the tentative programme not day in the manner of pas' So let us this Commem. put culated version. Advancement of Science, including Presidential Ad Commems.; let us gather, as •e-.i ,~nn»>;r(i ri-i*rt thc words— From ihe outset Union fol- better known as A.N.Z.A.A.S. dresses, Symposia and the like.' students did a few ye^rs ago. Gaudeamat igltur. We feel that the S.-M. did Intvers decided not to engage in was startcJ over fifty years on the steps of the G.P.O, Invcnos dum sumus. the University and Professor recrimination, even under provo The Presidential Address of a'jo and now holds Congresses each section frequently takes Greenwood a great injust'ce by cation. Some mud altvays sticks throughout Australasia at inter not publishing the full content to those who thro:v it. Their the form of a review so that vals of about eishtcen months. attendance at the var'ous ad of the letter whch was not answer tvoutd be to run a better, Finance for l?ie Conferences really very long. To deny a more active, more attractive dresses would permit one to comes from subscriptions, as acquire an over-aM view of responsible citizen f'oe rioht club, 1 believe they are doing sisted by generous grants from of reply is an examp'c of the so, and will continue to do so. sc'ence in Australas'a. The the State Gsvcrnment and by P'^esidents, e^iineit figures in evils of a semi-monopoly press the permission cf the Univer which makes a hollow mocke'V The curious thing about the their pi'ticu'^'r fieMs, come Linneth article is its remarkable sily Senate to use Univenity from Universitis, the Com- of the slogan "Our Libery de prctnisc^ for the meetings. pends on the freedom of the resemblance to the speech de monwea'th Sc'entif'c and In- press and that cannot be livered by a prominent League A.N.Z.A.A.S. meetings are Hustr'fll Rpsn'rc*! Ornflnization limited without being lost." representative to Freshers during friendly affairs as well as Onnitntion Week — before the forming a common meetim A.N.Z.A.A.S. is divided into We print here Professor year had commenced and before ground for senior scientists of siytrpn sec*inns, Ove'inT sn there tvas adequate evidence of all types, from Astronomers to extensi'-e arfa of sc'ei'if''c with the S.M.'s version em Union attitudes. Instead of Zoologists. They also provide l-.^,Mv'ed"n. The tf>p!cs fa'lrni phasised. presenting the merits of League an excellent forum for younger within tho various sect'ons men to discuss research wo'k r-n'^p. from air-conHitinn'ni to and the U.avie CAuh. as I had Last Sunday {^prU 9) an still in progress. No sc'entific a'cholism, from ant? and pen- article appeared in the Sunday done for the Un'on tvithnut snide qualifications arc necessary for Quins to pure •:c'encp anrl Mail under the name oj Tom references to the League, the membership, the on'y des'rable ou'T sn->re. The lec^o'^s Linneth purporting to deal tvith League's speaker chose to make qualitv beinT an interest in to he f'"''' In t*ie lowpr City the reaction of Rugby Unwn Jol- a justed itself automatically according to the lever" so that the noise of the motor rose to height of tha grass it was cutting. a scream and dropped back with a couple of The result of this was that, when Mr. Smed backfires. ley went to give his mower a try-out, his "Anyway, there are advantages in being 1 neighbour popped, his head over the fence and able to control the thing directly. Watch this." I sand: "I see you've got a power mower there, With that he opened the throttle and tore at Vince." a thick clump of grass. Mr. Smedley admitted the justice of this But he underestimated the thickness of the statement. clump, because he had gone no more than But then Palmer went on to add: "Don't tell half-way into it when the motor lost revs and me it's got a manual throttle. They're a bit stalled. old fashioned, you know." Right on cue. Palmer's head appeared over Now there was a sneering innuendo in all the fence: "Snuffed her, eh? You don't have this, that did not escape Mr. Smedley. Not that tort of trouble with an automatic throttle, only did he have to admit to a non-automatic you know." Then' he leiturety bent down and mower, but also to a non-automatic car, while began to trim hit lawn near the dividing fence. .This hore a strong resemblance to an In instead of turning the light on, he turned f'almer had—the most automatic car that could But Mr. Smedley was not upset this time, he was maddened. He restarted his motor, cident In Kdlth's own life, in which she the television off, making the darUncss be got. ripped open the throttle, waited for the revs had believed lu'r.self to be tbe object or it wat alto big, and American; while Mr. total. to build up, and once more attacked the clump. thc affection of a gentleman carrying out a Everyone was falling over one another Smtdley't wat tmall, and Englitti. crusade against evils of trade unionism, and stumbling on the furniture. And it was only with a great deal of internal This time it was flattened. only to find that when tho ciusade moved Meanwhile, Aunty Edith v.as having her struggle I hat Mr. Smedley had finally convinced Just as he was delivering it the coup de on, she was left behind. troubles. himself th?* there were advantages in owning grace Palmer once again stuck his head over The dog called, Tops, mentioned earlier, a non-autonatic car that Palmer would not ap the fence and said, speaking rather loudly, to llcncc. for that rca.son .she considered preciate. be heard over the noise of the engine: "I say, ".Maverick" as "cynical and briiUU," and was quite neurotic. In fact ho' had to be glx'cn his food out of thc chamber pot be He had reasoned that a car with manual gear- you're over-revving her a bit, aren't you? That therefore, when she H»nv it on the IJUCJIS* change was the best for pulling out of a skid won't do it any good.' set, .she reacte<| by giving thc little cry. cause he refused lo cat It otherwise. Now, he had a habit, when excited, to (to date, however, he had not got himself into This time, Mr. Smedley did not allow him At the same instant as she did this, tho any), and that by changing gears himself he self to be abashed, but headed his mower for ymingci-- Lucas, who happened to be round up the nearest movable object Into the nearest corner. was defying the gadget age, which, it seemed a patch of stony ground placed in the middle, climbing in the mango tree in the back to him was reducing personal initiative to noth and once more opened the throttle. yard, broke one of it branches, producing On this occasion, he picked on Aunty ing. The result was a shower of pebbles in all a sound something like a rifle shot or . Edith and sent her hysterical by barking However, the force of Palmer's personality directions. Some of these cut into his ankles, .Mary Lucas, thc mistress of thc house, and snapping at her. undermined his confidence and he began to but he contained the pain he was suffering, on hearing these two sounds. Jumped to She began to scream and sob and shriek: feel inferior. He had to admit that he could and finally had the satisfaction of seeing the conclusion that Henry Millar, from "Get away, you boast . . . oh . . . don't let not afford an expensive car, and even the modest Palmer grimace as fie caught one on the chin. down the road, had shot his wife. him come near mc . . ." nnotor mower was something of a luxury. "I say,' he said, "be careful what you do with ..in coming to thi.s conclusion, she had Mary Lucas, after the television had gone that thing. Those stones are sharp, you know" off. had completely lost her head, and And when, finally. Palmer brought out his Iiecn Influenced by tlint evening's ctlltion mower and began to mow the grass along his But Mr. Smedley merely turned hit back. of ".^lavcrick." hearing the screams. "I'll murder 'cm," He wat reinforced now in hit conviction hit thought she had arrived at the Millar's and side of the dividing fence, he gave up and put This had treated thc situation In which his mower, away. bold rebellion againtt servitude to the gadget that Edith was Annie and her husband was wat fully vindicated. a rather tyrannical husband pursues his Henry Millar. He had made several attempt* to mow the wife about a darkened house in order to enforce his discipline. Taking this view of the situation, fdie It would have appeared to an outsider that side, and laid his hand on her shoulder to Now. Mary Lucas would frequently began to menace her luislwml with the the pair were having not so much a tiff try and quieten her down. personalise the fiction she absorbed with duimbcr |)ot. as a battle royal. Mary's response was a terrified shriek thc people about hor, .^o that when she saw Before dealing v.-lth Bill's reaction it Is At this moment, tho Millars walked in of: "Let me go, you brulte!" Which caused these events on the television .screen, she necessary to consider the behaviour of and turned on the lights. Bill to look up. He saw Henry Millar as Niw Henry and Ann Millar us thc hero and young Julio Lucas since the tights had been They had decided to sec what was going saulting his wife and cracked.the.chamber heroine. turned off. on at the Lucas' when thc outcry had not pot over his head I She was aided In doing this by a deep- subsided after a decent interval. Henry fell to tho floor, unconscious, and rooted suspicion of Henry's behaviour. One of the most vivid memories of her his wife became hysterical. childhood was of tho time when her .Seeing Mary and Bill locked in struggle, She had seen him working In his gar then, they rushed over to seiMirnte thm. Mary tried to calm her down with: den in an old pork-pIc hat,, and had some brother had been electrocuted as a- result "There, there, dear, you're safe now." of a short circuit of the light main with However, Ann Millar was thc first to how got It Into her mind that this was move, and she ran to thc couple shouting: While Bill, who had somewhat reeoverd thc house plumbing. the sort of hat Hitler had worn: and from "Mary! . Mary!" hiB senses, tried to revive Henry. this, she had concluded that he must have This had made such a profound Impres Henry followed close on hor heels. Both these actions aggravated Mary's had Nar.1 sympathies. sion on her that, whenever she was obliged fao'MeJlrh (meu hysteria, and she began to scream. to plecp in a room where there was a wash ir he hadn't jicttuilly been In thc Security Ann's shouts distracted Mary from her The dog, called Taps, seeing his broken ^ier^ iocs, she was sure he beat his wife, any- basin, she left the light burning all night struggle and she looked up. feed dish, began to howl loudly . . . long. This enabled Bill to get thc chamber pot Tho whole thing was later straightened With all thCBo things going through her When thc light went out then the first from her and the first thing he did was out to some degree, but tho Millars and mind. then, she became convinced that thing she thought of waa thc electrified to Inspect It to see If there was anything Lucas' are not speaking . . . Henry had just shot poor Ann and so she taps and began to shout: "The water's alive In It. At the same time, tho presence Mary Lucas now does not believe every picked up thc first heavy thing that came alive! Thc water's alive!" of Ann and Henry had registered on tho thing she sees on TV . . . to hand and set off to rescue her. crying: What thc impact of this was on Bill It mind of Mary, and she Interpreted Ann's BUI Lucas has rebuilt his hen-house . . . "Don't worry Annie, I'm coming! I'm com Is difficult to sec, but on hearing his daugh soltcltlous cries of "Mary! Mary!" as an Aunty Edith now sends the family a ing!" ter's cries and seeing hla wife with a cham expression of fear and terror as she made letter of warning eyory time she Intends to Thc thing that she had picked up was ber pot. he dived at her and tried to take a last desperate attempt to escape from hor call, so thtit they qin hide the TV sot. a blue porcelain chamber pol, but it was It from her. loathsome husband. And the dog, caU^ Taps, was run over nQ longer used for U« original purpose. This made Mary struggle furiously, and Henry, unaware of thto, arrived at her next day. [ SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961 Page .13 PRANKS I THE PAST The memorable studenf prank requires tatte, imagination and organisation. Since all these three facton are very rarely present on one single occasion, really worthwhile pranks are none too common. Thus It would be a shame for the really good ones to be forgotten. But a collection of pranks can never be complete, nor can it be accurate, since the only sources available to any one person are at second hand at the best and the amount of interpolated detail that builds up frequently means that the pranks are more fairy-tale than fiction. Bearing this caveat in mind, • TOWER FOOTPRINTS Someone stuck his head inside then you might read thit Then in 1953 large black the Customline, withdrew it article and with to correct any j and shouted: "It's a fake, she mistake or make good any' footprints appeared on the tower at St. Lucia. These must be in the other carl" cmmiuions that appear in it., At this the crowd rushed Semper Copy Wanted It is hoped that if this re-, looked completely farcical by giving the impression that the De Soto and closed about Yousn gu}-8 and yousc gals tponse it made a reasonably both cars. In the melee the Uni. It needs co-operation, on your back for copy—they camprehcniive record of the someone had unconcernedly think It is great that you guard of honour broke, and, at which It has not been getting. also have the printer on historic pranlct may be com walked up the vertical side of ha»e a paper of your own in a timely moment, opened at With "Foghorn" Fogarty their backs to produce same. piled. the tower. which to air your views and and "Dolly" Dalton at the' Semper Is not thc only Job the door of the De Soto. A gTlcvanres. Oh, sure, on that id produced by the Ink- This operafon had actually A moth eaten carpet was rolled helm. Semper has braved the CRIMINAL CHASE required considerable moun paper its looks are grousel elements and come home to devils. So. to keep up good out and a moth eaten Ann But did yoa ever stop to faith with these morons, it The earliest prank that can taineering skill. Firstly, the Miller stepped into it. port each issue. be unearthed in the var;ous party had to climb up to the think the amount of effort This bos only been done by is up to you to help out the She was cheered and hoisted that goes in to produce your their unsclfisli work — phis Semper staff and get your available sources (public roof of the wing by the scaf on the crowd's shoulders, bars, private parties, lavatories) folding and then "chimney 'rag"—Semper Floreat? trying to fit In their particu copy In early. Also, make while the American , girl Certainly you have your lar lectures and studies. sure of your facts and write was executed in the late twen climb" the'r way up the tower. circled the block once again. ties. During this year a Then a rope was lowered and >mper Staff to organise It! Also, they have to cop tbe (preferably type) clearly. — But It needs more than a few abuse from the north, south, although you can read it, thc noforous criminal had broken the footprints applied on the MURDER AND SUICIDE jail and h'd not been recap way down. to prndurp a llvc'y record east and west wings. printer has a hard job doing tured by Commem. Day. Another theatre D'ank wa« ing of the happenings of the Not only have they to be so. At first these were stuck on the one in which "Hercules" It was to be expected then with durex tape, but many O'Neill was taken for a ride that f.n escaped convict should were blown off. However, the and tossed over the Storey take pirt in the procession. next night the operation was Bridge. However, there '•$ not However, he also had half a repeated, onlv this time a much detail of this incident at dozen uniformed police in his much more effective adhesive hand. wake. These were always on Was used. The Storey Bridge also fea- the point of capturing the Those in charge of the turde in a suir^e in ]°^6 escapee, but could not quite buildings smarted! at th's, when a Semper Floreat* stuf'erf seem to make the arrest. because they were not at all dummy hanged itself from this This wide-scale police hunt conversant with mountain structure. continued for most of the day. climbing techniques' and had to So far the pranks reported •V— floor. Anyone who knows the siren prank is passing from :that year began to wail, de- clapping effect that ducks wings the memory of many people, • flaling somewhat the feeling Toduce when they are violently and so deserves description. •of triumph by those who had f'apped, will known something One year the workmen's siren •discovered the other one. of the impression made on the from St. Luc'a was pinched and audience. set up in the City Hall. It . This survey hai been written SNOWSTORM was then set going during the I in an attempt to record the ceremony, apparently as a pro ' more memsrabte pranks, but it More recently, in 1959, a test against the speakers. would not b« possible to vouch paper snowstorm was released for the accuracy of many of upon those in the rostrum in the Th's put the organisers on the details that have been pre- City Hall. But this is widely their guard for the following icnted. II there have been enough known about not to year and when they heard it any major evertighti or inae- require a very full reporting. go off again they pounced and captured it. But the minute it curaciet, then the comment ef SIRENS was silenced another siren anyone competent to correct appearing at odd places all remove the prints with a com have been more public in their But perhaps the two-year which had been freshly pinched them will be welcome. over Brisbane—shops, theatres, plicated system of ladders. place of performance. But public build'ngs. there is quite a tradition of ANN MILLER Then the climax arrived these assoc'ated with the e when the coppers finally In 1955, perhaps one of Graduation Ceremony. nailed their man under the the most effective hoaxes was <7 desk of the Commissioner of brought off in CQnn«>ction w'th GRADUATION PRANKS the visit of Ann Miller to the c Pdlice, who was then Jimmy Before the City Hall was c cs city to promote one of her Ryan. built, this ceremony took o^c^"<:^0 ^'^^o films. To bring this off mob oO OT "u ^--NJ place in thc Exhibition HaH o organisation along the lines of BRIDGE CLOSING (new the Art Gallery). When' a Hitler youth rally was The next point that the •t w£s still being celebrated needed. sources reveal is the closing cf there, in the late twenties, a the Victoria Bridge. This was The bogus Ann Miller was bale of hay was let loose from done simply by the placing of dressed in twelve yards of black the ceiling. As it floated down a sign on the roadwi^y stating r^atertal and to pive the upon the gowns of thc audience, that the bridge was closed. finishing touch to his/her cos it provoked from Ambrose tume a dressed mop head was Stewart the comment, "It ap Motorists did not bother to set in his/her head. pears some of you have question the validity of the She was then solemnlv es brought your dinner with you." sign and would drive up, see corted to a large official- the sign, turn round and at- looking black car which was FISH AND . . . tetipt to drive back. Eventu then drven to a vantage point ally, a traffic snarl developed along the route. Then in the early thirties, a and a policeman, who was ap When the time came for 301b. mackerel was lowered BARKER'S BOOK STORE parently on ooint duty came the De Soto to join the p'O- and suspended just above the over and tried to untangle it. cess'on it was allowed to take crowd. From time to time He had been exerting him part, apparently because it members of the audience 196 LdyNzrd Strt^t self for stfme time until fin looked more official than the would make a grab of it, but ally someone decided to query real star's Customline. the pe.'son control'ing it kept it just out of their reach. One the authority of thc s'gn, and The De Soto then followed staff member who marb a it was discovered that the Ann Miller's car and the two determined lunoe at It fell on public service knew nothing pulled up at the kerb outside LA LANCUE FRANCAISE EST DE TOUTES LES LANCUES CELLE QUI his face. (We believe this was whatever about the action the Metro. Here the mob or Dec Robbie). undertaken. ganisation swung into action. EXPRIME AVEC LE PLUS DE FACILITE. DE NETTETE ET DE DELI- . . . DUCK CATESSE, TOUS LES OBJETS DE LA CONVERSATION DES HON- r^ The following year therefore,' the organ sers of the ceremony NETES GENS; ET PAR LA ELLE CONTRIBUE DANS TOUTE L'EUROPE searched tfie building for any pranks which may have been A UN DES PLUS GRANDS ACREMENTS DE LA VIE.— rigged in advance. But they found nothing and looked for VOLTAIRE. ward to an uneventful evening. However that was the year that one of the mosi brilliant pranks Wa hfvi a Urge rangt ef French Beekt-—Novab, PMtry, Drama, and Literary was executed. , Criticltm—4iio an «MelUiRt telecHon •( beefct rtUvanl lo other courtM, It simply Involved releasing a wild duck. But this bird's wings had been clipped so ex pertly that by flapping them as wildly as possible it could only b^f^EK'S FOR ALL FRENCH BOOKS just remain airborne while sink ing slowly from the roof to the SEMPER FLOREAT, FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1961 f>aDa )4 THE GA3IE THAT GROWS This Is the beginning of thc loot bcoson tor Hockey —"tho gnme tliat grows." This Ls a true slogan, not onlj on a world-wide basis, but al. w mj^d FioAt Lm Mf^ EnCineErS' BaNd. I '/^ Deputation of CoLiiNsViUE MiNeRs to PrEmleR — Ij/V^i ST JOHN'S COLLEGE LIFEsavers Med. 1. ^1 ^:J ffuoriDATION Dentistry I CaRpEnTeR FAMify Econ. I BaRbEcUe g. iZACCS, sT.JOHN'S cOIIECE O-V HIGHER EducAtion of Uni. StUdEntS . . Dip. ed. Transition of fReShers OUTLOOK of UnlvErSiTy The CrEdIt sqUeeie ArCh III llfE frOM 1st to 3RD TcRm ArTs IN Pfcasso MARRIES Ag^in at S5 SciEnCe 11 ALFRED e. NcuMANN fOr mAyoR PhySiO DuKe'S TIGER shOOt in InDiA LaW 1 "the EquALity of tHe sExeS" .... KinGS ColieGe MaChiNery dePT InspEctloN of VehiCLcs — coMMuniSt AfrlcuLturAL aiD To LaOs . Ag, IV -I meCH EnC 111 minINC SiTuaTiON iN qUeeNSfaND ... Eng II UnioN mEtHodS — ColllnsvMIE mInErs . PoL Scr. II CaStRo V. ReBeL cut-.THrOaTs . . . ARCHItecture I PiCassO maRriEs aCAin AT 85 SaVc Th£ Tries FoRcsTrY II GUIDance For sChoOl gIRls mEd 111