Croxley Chronicles June 2020 ______

Dear Croxley Green U3A members,

Well, here we are, still in lockdown. Hopefully we all getting used to our new lifestyles and finding ways of using the excess time we have on our hands not just productively but also enjoyably.

As you know, we met – it seems months ago but it was actually only six weeks - as a committee on Zoom and discussed how we could best move forward in these times:

 Firstly, the AGM is postponed until we can meet in the normal way at St. Oswalds Church Hall – who knows when this might be!  Secondly, we hoped that interest group members will continue to keep in touch with each other either by phone, text, email or video link wherever possible and indeed that seems to be the case for hopefully all of you. Please do not hesitate to phone any member of the committee if you haven’t had, and would like, contact with your U3A.  Thirdly, we promised to keep in contact with you by issuing more frequent newsletters and also sending a quiz every so often. This is where I come in, as newsletter editor, so I have to start with an apology that it has taken me so long – I’m afraid the good weather proved too tempting! Thank you to those of you who have sent in contributions (see below) and thank you also to the Wanstead & Woodford U3A who have been sharing their bulletins with the Herts U3A Network – these will be going on the website for you to enjoy.

Nationally, the U3A has been considering how to maintain the whole ethos of the U3A, which is quite challenging when we’re unlikely to be able to meet in person for some time. The Third Age Trust offers many opportunities nationally to communicate online with their more frequent newsletters, Facebook and Twitter accounts and other forums. Details are on the national website, www.u3a.org.uk. Do sign up for their national newsletter as this gives details of national events and advice; you could join their Facebook U3A site - "Keeping in Touch". This is a private group and to join you just need to give your name and your U3A. Huge numbers of members are sharing beautiful photos, poems, stories, quizzes and many other items.

Many of our local interest groups are now using technology for their meetings and this appears to be working well although I think all would agree that these interactions have distinct limitations! We did discuss as a committee whether it was feasible to hold monthly meetings using Zoom or similar but decided that one of the main ‘draws’ of our meetings (apart from the interesting talks that our Speaker Secretary invariably organises!) was the opportunity to socialise which of course wouldn’t really work online with larger numbers. However, this will be reviewed as the national situation develops.

Very best wishes to all, STAY SAFE AND WELL, and I will try to keep in touch on a more regular basis!

Irene Dubuis

POETRY GROUP

During Lockdown members of the Poetry Group have been posting poems on email for other members to read and I have compiled an anthology from their contributions for the first few weeks. I know that a lot of people have been walking in Croxley Woods as their daily exercise and the bluebells have been particularly lovely this year. One of our members chose this after walking there (now perhaps a distant memory, but a lovely reminder of a spectacular show this year – Irene)

The Bluebell by Anne Brontë

A fine and subtle spirit dwells in every little flower, Each one its own sweet feeling breathes With more or less of power. There is a silent eloquence in every wild bluebell That fills my softened heart with bliss That words could never tell. Yet I recall not long ago Whence came that rising in my throat, A bright and sunny day, That dimness in my eye? 'Twas when I led a toilsome life Why did those burning drops distil - So many leagues away; Those bitter feelings rise? That day along a sunny road O that lone flower recalled to me All carelessly I strayed, My happy childhood's hours Between two banks where smiling flowers When bluebells seemed like fairy gifts Their varied hues displayed. A prize among the flowers, Before me rose a lofty hill, Those sunny days of merriment Behind me lay the sea When heart and soul were free, My heart was not so heavy then And when I dwelt with kindred hearts As it was wont to be That loved and cared for me. Less harassed than at other times I had not then mid heartless crowds I saw the scene was fair, To spend a thankless life and spoke and laughed to those around, In seeking after others' weal As if I knew no care. With anxious toil and strife. But when I looked upon the bank 'Sad wanderer, weep those blissful times My wandering glances fell That never may return!' Upon a little trembling flower, The lovely floweret seemed to say, A single sweet bluebell. And thus it made me mourn.

Another person was about to go down to her greenhouse to sow seeds and this prompted her to share this with us:

The Seedshop by Muriel Stuart A cedar in this narrow cell is thrust That will drink deeply of a century’s streams; Here in a quiet and dusty room they lie, These lilies shall make summer on my dust. Faded as crumbled stone or shifting sand, Here in their safe and simple house of death, Forlorn as ashes, shrivelled, scentless, dry- Sealed in their shells, a million roses leap; Meadows and gardens running through my hand. Here I can blow a garden with my breath, In this brown husk a dale of hawthorn dreams; And in my hand a forest lies asleep.

Netti Smallbone

Lockdown U3A Quiz: May 2020 (Thank you to Chris Jones!)

Five rounds of 10 questions. Subjects may or may not change each month. You may consult with other members of your household but must maintain social distancing from Mr Google and his friends. Answers in the next bulletin!

Geography 1/ Which river flows though Rome? 2/ Which European country has the longest coastline? 3/ What is the state capital of California? 4/ Which famous monastery is located on Holy Island? 5/ What is the highest peak in North America? 6/ Which two cities are linked by the M8? 7/ Which island was originally named Van Diemen’s Land? 8/ Which Asian country is bigger than France, Spain and Germany combined but has a population of a little over two million? 9/ The Pembrokeshire Coast and Snowdonia are two National Parks in Wales. What is the third? 10/ Which two countries are linked by the Brenner Pass?

Literature 1/ Who wrote The Handmaid’s Tale? 2) Which War is featured in Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks? 3) One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich was the first work by which dissident writer? 4) What is the novel, later filmed, which features a painting by Vermeer, set in the Dutch city of Delft? 5) To which book was a judge referring in 1960 when he asked a jury whether they would allow their wives or servants to read it? 6) Which Greek island is the main setting for the novel, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin? 7) Which two cities provide the setting for Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities? 8) Who throws herself under a train after seeing her lover, Captain Vronsky, saying goodbye to another woman? 9) Which private boarding school in Dickens’ Nicholas Nickleby is callously controlled by Wackford Squeers? 10) Which Chorleywood author of historical fiction, including the Emperor and Conqueror series, became the first to top the UK fiction and non-fiction charts at the same time?

Cinema 1) What was David Lean’s romantic weepie, based on Noel Coward’s play, Still Life? 2) Who succeeded Marlon Brando as the head of the Corleone family in the Godfather movies? 3) What film begins with the words: “I owe everything to George Bailey. Help him, Dear Father?” 4) Which film ends with the words: “I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner?” 5) In which film, seeing Meg Ryan apparently experiencing great pleasure in a restaurant, does a character say: “I’ll have what she’s having”. 6) What was the last black and white film to win an Oscar for Best Picture?

7) Which is the only film for which John Wayne won an Oscar? 8) What is the title of the 1971 film in which Clint Eastwood plays a DJ? 9) On which street was there a miracle in the Christmas movie with Richard Attenborough? 10) Who won an Oscar for Best Actress in the 1980s, more than 20 years after she topped the singles charts as a singer?

Music 1) Which artist had a hit with Rubber Ball? 2) Which Beatles song includes the lyrics: “On the corner is a banker with a motorcar/ the little children laugh at him behind his back”? 3) Thomas Arne’s opera, Alfred, brought which jingoistic tune to the British nation? 4) Which backing singers worked with Elvis Presley through the 60s? 5) Which song, sung by which artist, begins: “It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in”? 6) Who were the first band to reach Number One in the British charts with their first three singles? 7) Which operatic heroine worked in a cigar factory? 8) Which Rodgers and Hammerstein musical begins in heaven? 9) The first four notes of which of Beethoven’s symphonies were used in BBC broadcasts to occupied Europe during the Second World War? (And you can always guess a number) 10) Who composed Rhapsody in Blue?

General Knowledge

1) What is a kippah? a) a fish b) a cap or c) a small boat. 2) How many feet are there in a fathom? 3) What is the name of the object that is placed either side of an aeroplane wheel to stop it rolling? 4) Which dinosaur, translated from the Latin, means “swift robber”? 5) What “A” is a bridge which carries water over valleys? 6) There are three types of weather front: cold front, warm front and…what is the third front called? 7) Which textile is made from the fibres of the flax plant? 8) How many years of marriage are celebrated by an emerald anniversary? 9) Which British prime minister from 1830 to 1834 is better known as a beverage than as a politician? 10) What was Desperate Dan’s favourite food?

Shanaclon Bulletin

A very different spring this year on all counts. The first time we have been marooned in one place for two months, seen no friends or family (in the flesh) and to have had only one day of rain in the same period! We are so fortunate in having a large garden and we really have appreciated it even more this year. We have been out all day most days, and whilst enjoying alfresco meals or cups of coffee have had time to really watch nature unfold before our eyes. It has been a unique opportunity to view the minutiae of spring unfurling. Every day the buds were a little fatter on the trees, then a green haze appeared and eventually a verdant green.

The birds have been busy and all 7 nesting boxes have residents. There is constant song all day and a special joy are the blackbirds and for a while there were three thrushes serenading morning and evening. It is like Piccadilly Circus at the feeders and the pecking order is interesting to watch. The nuthatch and the greater spotted woodpecker are the most dominant, then the various tits follow and then the more shy birds including 4 goldfinches get a look in. We have even had 3 separate visitations from the sparrow hawk; he dived through so rapidly we could not even see if he took an unsuspecting bird at the feeder. Such is nature! On a happier note we have a pair of buzzards possibly nesting in the field nearby and they are often seen flying overhead and even performed an arial courtship display! A more rare garden visitor is a pair of gold crests nesting in the garden.

There seemed to be more butterflies appearing and at an earlier date in April. We even witnessed colour prejudice amongst the bees! The pulmonaria always attracts a host of them and the blonde ones invariably chased the dark ones away! Bees and insects were very busy searching for early nectar and they were in luck as the abundant winter rain resulted in early, excellent Spring flowers; snowdrops came early followed by all the spring bulbs. The daffodils and primroses were exceptional.

In April the early azaleas were out and all the blossom was brighter than ever and no frosts to nip them. May was the turn of rhododendrons, where every bush was covered with flowers; early clematis and the scented tree peonies adding colour in profusion. Now it is the turn of the irises and roses. No access to garden centre has not been too much of a problem; I had bought the veg seeds early in the year and I always save flowers seeds from the previous autumn. It has been great to have uninterrupted time to raise all the vegetables and annuals!

The chicken run and coop are no more and a new flower bed has replaced them. Pete put a stone edging last autumn and last month I sowed a new section of lawn seed around it and it has now grown at least a couple of inches! Pete busied himself with another project which seemed a good idea at the time but was demanding physically. He ordered 15 six foot long concrete gravel boards as he wanted to remove the sideways slant on the path running along the back of the garden. Weighing around 30kg each they easily retained the soil of the newly levelled path. It had been hazardous pushing heavy barrows as they tended to slip sideways. It looks great now but not so good for Pete’s back!

He is now attacking renovating the pens for compost and leaves and getting rid of years of accumulated junk hidden in the area! With fields on one side of the garden it is not surprising we have many foxes and muntjac visit us, the latter are a real nuisance as they eat most things. They even dug up my carrots earlier this year! On the plus side a delight has been a pair of fox cubs who come regularly to drink from the pond and use the garden as a playground, playing tag around the bushes. I have come face to face several times and they stay for around 30 seconds before running off. So far I have failed to have my camera with me. A less welcome larger visitor has been the horse in the adjacent field making two separate break-ins through the hedge to enjoy our grass. It took much effort to keep him off the veg patch and back to the front gate, the second time he made us late for a zoom U3A committee meeting! I have included a range of pictures to try and capture spring’s progress!

"When Just the Tide Went Out"

by Max Boyce

This poem was especially written by Max Boyce to commemorate lockdown. He read it out on BBC Wales accompanied by a beautiful video showing the tide and empty streets, a very haunting poem and his voice captured the mood exquisitely, do look online to see and hear it. https://youtu.be/vtQhE_GQYGI

Last night as I lay sleeping, when dreams came fast to me I dreamt I saw JERUSALEM beside a tideless sea And one dream I'll remember as the stars began to fall Was Banksy painting Alun Wyn on my neighbour's garage wall And dreams like that sustain me 'til these darkest times have passed And chase away the shadows no caring night should cast But times like this can shine a light as hardship often can To see the best in people and the good there is in man

And I remember Swansea with nobody about The shops were closed like Sunday and just the tide went out And I remember Mumbles with the harbour in its keep And the fishing boats at anchor that trawl the waters deep And I heard the seabirds calling as the gulls all wheeled about But all the town was sleeping now and just the tide went out

And when these days are over and memories remain When children painted Rainbows and the sun shone through the rain And the doctors and the nurses who stretchered all the pain And I hope the carers never see a time like this again

And I prayed last week for Boris who knocked on Heaven’s door And I thought of voting Tory, which I've never done before And though the sun is shining I've no immediate plans So I'll write a book on "Staying In" and "Ways To Wash Your Hands" And now more days of lockdown, three weeks of staying in I'm running out of vodka and I've started on the gin And my neighbours are complaining. I've heard them scream and shout With the sound the bins are making when I take the empties out And when all this is over, and our fragile world survives And I hope that God is caring now for the ones who gave their lives And I pray we'll find an answer, for my faith is cast in doubt And God draws back the heavens and all the stars come out And I'll remember mornings with nobody about When the shops were closed like Sunday, and just the tide went out.

CRYPTIC ARTISTS (answers next time!)

1. A surrealist who laid about? 2. German multinational or Dutch artist? 3. This one-legged jumper was an American artist 4. Spanish artist who reworked yoga 5. Boiled leek for an expressionist? 6. Baroquean truck that stops the sea? 16. Sounds like vehicle down for this Mexican 7. Cop this English one artist 8. ….and another who likes to change 17. American rock band starts and ex-German 9. Irish-born artist who goes well with eggs chancellor finishes this Dutch master 10. Eat this expressionist? 18. Pee endless weapon for this French post- 11. Ball with a different intro for an American impressionist artist 19. American artist takes short vacation after 12. Male alien who is a (pre-) impressionist conflict 13. … a vowel movement for another 20. Its all in the name for this Cretan master 14. Hot rok excited this American artist. 21. Joint, and sounds like another, for this 15. Is steam around for a French post- English artist impressionist? 22. An angel from the Renaissance?

WORDS OF THE DAY Thanks to Gerry Clarke for these pandemic definitions!

Coronacoaster The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.

Quarantinis Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

Le Creuset wrist It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

Coronials As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

Furlough Merlot Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

Coronadose An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.

The elephant in the Zoom The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. e.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

Quentin Quarantino An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

Covidiot or Wuhan-ker One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan- ker”.

Goutbreak The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

Antisocial distancing Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

Coughin’ dodger Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

Mask-ara Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

Covid-10 The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”

Playreading review: Audrey’s group For the first few weeks of Zoom Playreading, Daphne had chosen entertaining comedies to try to lift the spirits of those who needed it, but our latest play, ‘Alice and the Cold Case’, was a murder mystery set in North America. Without giving too much away – in case the other Playreading Group chooses it sometime – the conclusion may have disappointed some. Along the way there were also questions some of us might have asked if we’d been the investigating detectives. There was no Columbo or Hercule Poirot with a coup de grace in the final scene, but it did have a convincing air of authenticity. There were the usual minor glitches for the cast – “Where’s Mavis gone? Oh she’s under the table, answering a ‘phone call” or “My script’s gone back to the first page” or “I’ve got the wrong play”. The latter has happened more than once, posing the hilarious fantasy of one half of the cast performing one play, alternating their lines with other members reading a different play. Reminiscent of a sketch by the Two Ronnies. But we are now able to overcome any problems fairly swiftly and Playreading remains an enjoyable highlight of the week. Chris Jones

Reading for the Pandemic …

SOME OF THE 'BRIGHTER' MOMENTS FROM QUIZ SHOWS ON THE BBC ...

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals? Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester

BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS ) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris.

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol ) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? Contestant: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er...... Richard: He makes bread . . .. Contestant: Er ...... Richard: He makes cakes . . .. Contestant: Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ..

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific.

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta?

ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .... ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL ) Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ? Caller: Japan. Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ...... Mexico ?

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ? Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er...... Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . Contestant: Blimey? Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .. Contestant: (Silence) Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I .. . . Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia.

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.