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Spring Weekend Guide April 2012 1 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 1 2 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 3 Editor-in-Chief Sam Knowles TOP TEN THINGS WE WISH WE WERE Managing Editor of Features DANCING IN INSTEAD OF FOAM Charles Pletcher 1. Poppies. 6. Christina Paxon’s scarf. Managing Editor of Arts & Culture Clayton Aldern 2. Job offers. 7. F*cking cocaine. Managing Editor of Lifestyle 8. Somebody else’s Jane Brendlinger 3. Beer. underpants. Features Editor Zoë Hoffman 4. Donald Glover. 9. Blue Room artichoke Arts & Culture Editors hummus. Anita Badejo Ben Resnik 5. Our underpants. 10. The moonlight. Lifestyle Editors Jen Harlan Alexa Trearchis LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Pencil Pusher The Spring Weekend guide is my favorite issue. It’s the issue when the word “magazine” following Post- Phil Lai seems least presumptuous—a chance to show what we can do with beautiful, dazzling color and the glossi- est stock in all the land. Chief Layout Editor Clara Beyer We hope you enjoy what follows. You’ll find our signature profiles of the performers, along with some new features—like an hour-by-hour ingestion timeline and a board game sure to get any and all participants Contributing Editors Emeriti completely shitfaced. Kate Doyle Marshall Katheder Spring Weekend is the time of the year when we can truly live up to the Brunonian ideal—a glorious three days when our reputation for effortless cool and beauty doesn’t give way to the decidedly less glamorous Copy Chiefs reality of the SciLi and Gmail and those classes we occasionally grace with our presence. Come April 20, the Kristina Petersen books go under the bed; the neon apparel comes on. There’s no going back. Kathy Nguyen To those lucid enough to read our print, we hope you enjoy our guide to the most epic of all Brown week- Copy Editors ends. To those feeling a little more sloppy and a little less literate, just take a look at the pretty pictures. Lucas Huh Caroline Bologna Over and out, Blake Cecil Chris Anderson Claire Luchette sam Staff Writers Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Lily Goodspeed Class Board’s Mr. and SPEC Day Carnival BCA Concert Featur- BCA Concert Featuring FREE BAGELS Ben Wofford Ms. Brown 5PM Main Green ing Childish Gambino, The Glitch Mob, The Walk- 11AM Wayland Arch Ethan Beal-Brown 8PM Sayles Hall Sepalcure, and What men, Cam’ron, Twin Shadow A Perfect Wedding Cheer? Brigade Doors open at 2 PM, Main Greek Council presents Staff Illustrators Dirty Talk: A Sexy 8PM Leeds Theater Doors open at 6 PM, Green Dave Binder Spring Weekend Main Green 1 PM Wriston Quad Madeleine Denman Kickoff Nothing Productive Greek Council’s Fratty in Marissa Ilardi 7PM Barus & Holley Premiere Black Student Union the Ratty A Perfect Wedding Kirby Lowenstein 166 9PM Kassar FOX Spring Weekend Party 9 PM The Ratty 2PM Leeds Theatre Sheila Sitaram 11 PM Andrews Dining Caroline Washburn Capture the Flag Hall Silent Rave Adela Wu 10PM Pembroke Field 11 PM Lincoln Field Kah Yangni 4 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 CONTENTS FEATURES ARTIST PROFILES 6 great EXpectations Michael Weinstein Phil Lai 20 CHILDISH GAMBINO Clayton Aldern Kah Yangni 8 REMEMBER THat TIME? The Editors Kah Yangni 22 THE GLITCH MOB Ben Resnik Marissa Ilardi 12 SPRING WEEKEND THrougH THE ages The Editors 24 cam’ron Marshall Katheder Marissa Ilardi Lucas Huh 26 THE WALKMEN Raj Sidhu Kirby Lowenstein 14 IN DEFENSE OF THE bca Ben Wofford Madeleine 28 TWIN SHadow Anita Badejo Carolyn Shasha Denman 30 Sepalcure Jordan Mainzer Phil Lai 16 FIND your BINDER Zoë Hoffman Phil Lai 32 WHat CHEER? BRIGADE Zoë Hoffman Phil Lai 34 FIND your BINDER Zoë Hoffman Phil Lai Meet Josh, Erin, Clara, Craig, K.J., Robbie, Lizzie, and Emmett—all learning the hard way the things that can happen when you get stuck in a room with your peers eight crazy people for an hour each week ... and try to accomplish something make it out alive. It’s a little thing known as the “weekly meeting phenomenon.” Watch Nothing Productive, an all-new mockumentary web series, premiering Episodes 1 and 2 this Thursday, 4/19 at 9 pm in Kassar Fox Auditorium. LIFESTYLE 36 SEXICON MM 38 BAD SEX beej 38 THOU SHalt (not)... Anita Badejo 39 Emily POST- Emily Post- 40 SPRING WEEKEND Board GAME The Editors Clayton Aldern 42 SPRING WEEKEND INGESTION TIMELINE Jane Brendlinger and Rémy Robert Jane Brendlinger 43 CLASSY VS. TRASHY Alexa Trearchis and Zoë Hoffman Alexa Trearchis SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 5 6 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2012 GREAT EXPECTATIONS losing my spring weekend virginity michael WEINSTEIN contributing writer Every year, thousands of Brown students get our travels. In fact, as Spring Weekend ap- conservative for some; the Main Green on to go to their first Spring Weekend all over proaches, the number of times I am offered any given sunny day already has more shirt- again. I actually haven’t been, because I’m a drugs on any given day increases. The only less guys than a Madonna video. freshman. But anyone who has already at- thing that’s going to be cognitively present tended can probably recount less of their on the Main Green on Saturday afternoon is Myth #4: There’s a Concert (Or Two) weekend than I can—that’s how you know smoke. … What music? they were there. I’m pretty sure I know more But I mean, come on. April 20 doesn’t about what’s going to happen this weekend always fall on Spring Weekend. This is like Myth #5: Death by Santa Beard than any experienced Spring Weekender (and a solar eclipse, but only we get to witness it. I’ve heard a lot about the fateful 2011 Foam everything I know I read about on the “Tradi- That is, if you can even see anything through Party, but a cursory Google search suggests tions at Brown University” Wikipedia page). the miasma-esque haze that will coat the it might not happen this year. As if students So naturally, even some upperclassmen may Main Green as if it were a swamp in Scooby won’t have enough reason to drink, the Foam be curious about what actually happens on Doo. I expect cloud coverage so thick it may Party is something for us to pregame after an that weekend. Here are my expectations for rain. Acid rain. I’ve heard some questionable entire day of drinking. It’s the closest thing we our first Spring Weekend, related to me by things about April 20 at Brown. One junior have to a Battle Royale, so I can only hope we some seriously damaged upperclassmen from insisted that at 4:20 p.m. (maybe a.m., too), all get to experience it together again. Anyway, whatever memory is left after two days (or a the Brown police make a perimeter around it’ll probably be the closest thing to a shower week) of keg stands, gravity bongs and orgies. hundreds of students smoking on the Main some students will get all weekend. That’s These are the myths of Spring Weekend. Green to protect them from the Providence assuming you don’t suffocate while making Police. I’m a little skeptical. I mean, they didn’t Santa beards (or perhaps some full-body Yeti Myth #1: Everything in Excess form a perimeter around me while they were suits) with foam. RIP to all those students You’re drunk while reading this, I’m sure. If I writing me up for smoking on the steps of who drowned in their beards last year. could sum up the legends I have heard about Sayles last week. Well, actually they sort of Of course, I will be sorely disappointed Spring Weekend, it would sound something did, but still. if I don’t witness a flash mob—hopefully not like a-a-a-a-a-alcohol (you know the tune). And because BCA put Glitch Mob on the the literal kind — at some point this weekend. From what I understand, the Ratty breakfast bill, we can’t not roll. For all the adults and CS I’ve also heard something about a Bizarre Ba- special will be “beerios.” I expect morning majors out there, “rolling” is the term used to zaar, a Tricycle race and even an all-you-can- drinking. A lot of it. I expect breakfast drink- indicate the high achieved from Ecstasy or eat ice cream truck. Then again, any event to ing, and then second breakfast drinking, and Molly. Consequently, I can only hope for a lo- take place this weekend is likely to be a hallu- then elevenses drinking, followed by drink- cal performance à la that “hooking up with a cination, so how will we ever figure out which ing luncheon, afternoon tea drinking, dinner tree” girl at Ultra. of these myths are based in reality? drinking, supper drinking, and then of course the actual drinking begins. We like our ale. Myth #3: Clothing Optional As much as Brown students may try to act I’ve even heard that one fraternity constructs Trees won’t be the only thing we’ll try to like Alabama frat bros this weekend, we may a Beer Throne. (Note: I’m still not sure wheth- have sex with on Spring Weekend. I expect not have it in us. In all seriousness, I could be er this is a throne for beer, in order to bow and Sex Power God meets Woodstock. Child- asleep by Saturday afternoon. No matter what grovel to our beer, or a throne made of beer ish Gambino might not be able to hook up expectations I have for this weekend, I can’t cans, which would really just be an excuse to with all of those Asian girls he’s always talking imagine a reality where they all come to frui- drink enough beer to make a throne out of.) I about, but I bet he likes to watch.
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