Bits & Pieces of The Big Apple

Fascinating facts, frivolities Awful events & witty ditties

Cliff Strome

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Cover Photo The Statue of Liberty’s arms were raised and the tablet was put under lock and key during the soaring rate of crime from the 1970’s through the ‘90’s. It served as a warning that the should take the crime surge seriously. The tablet is embossed: July IV MDCCLXXVI (July 4th 1776) the date of the signing of The Declaration of Independence. She is the enduring symbol our nation. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Photo by Cliff Strome Photoshop by Evan Kimia

Custom & Private Tours, Inc. www.customandprivate.com [email protected] 212-222-1441

“Providing fun, memorable and informative experiences, targeting your interests, preferences and whims!” That’s my mission.

2 Welcome to Bits & Pieces of The Big Apple Bits & Pieces is an assortment of humorous snippets, amusing info, offbeat tales, tragedies, folklore, obscure historic facts and hilarities happenings in New York. Bits and Pieces This tour through “the city” will entertain, educate and amuse you. A table of contents is not provided to encourage you to read every Bit and Piece. What’s the difference between a bit and apiece? I don’t have a clue I just like the name! I’m not a writer however I like to tell stories. Throughout the book I provide my opinions and others may include my participation. Please don’t take everything too seriously, it’s intended to amuse, entertain and in form. Thanks! Cliff Strome April 19, 2021 [email protected]

3 A home for narrow-minded people In 1873 a house was built at 75½ Bedford Street. Since then it’s been the narrowest house in , 8’ 7” wide, 30’ deep, providing 999 square feet of living space. It was the home of Margaret Mead, Edna St. Vincent Millay and a Barrymore. The last price paid for the property was $3,253 per square foot, that’s $3,249,747 the highest price paid, per square foot, for a freestanding home in Greenwich Village. Would it be a good fit for you? That depends on whether or not you’re narrow-minded.

“Put-in” the Gas! We all know Putin is a “commy” however; his trip to New York City in 2003 exposed his desire to top off your tank at his first gasoline pumping station in America. He loved playing the role of a capitalist in the most capitalistic city on earth! Gasprom bought Getty Oil and Putin got his slice of the Big Apple. With Senator Schumer playing the role of a master capitalist hosted Mr. Putin launch his business in the Senator’s hometown. What they do have in common is that neither have ever had a job in the private sector.

4 Putin was here to launch the first Lukoil gas station in The United States at the corner of 24th Street and 10th Avenue in Manhattan. As any good host would have it Mr. Schumer provided a snack, Krispy Kreme Donuts. Fortunately Vladimir trusted Schumer confident that his nosh was not laced with Novichok, a favorite “cocktail” served to Putin’s traitorous commissars and political rivals. He was disappointed when Mr. Schumer refused accept a free tank of gas for his car. “Put-in the gas Chucky boy!”

A happy “ending” I had a friend who worked at a top floor of The . At my request, she offered me the opportunity to tour her workplace located in a triangular dormer windowed floor. The entire floor was a dental office. There were several rooms with dental chairs and equipment, a waiting room, a party room and office space. The party room was painted black and it was illuminated with UV ultraviolet lights. Pairs of white circles, of various sizes, had been painted on the walls, so it seemed. Some pairs of circles were as low as two and a half feet

5 high and others were higher. I asked here, what’s up with that! During a party one of the guys brought a paint roller kit. After we had all gotten “liquored-up” the guys lowered their pants and their underwear, from the rear only, and the ladies uncovered their butts too. The guy with the water-based paint applied paint with a roller on everyone’s butts. “With wet paint on our butts we backed up pressing our buns against leaving pairs of white circles.” Since then, whenever I look at the dormer floor windows of The Chrysler Building I can’t help thinking about this little tale with a happy “ending.”

“Close the frig!” Watergate, Irangate and last but not least, Bridgegate; the last ‘gate was a malicious scheme executed on September 9, 2013. The purpose was to punish the mayor of Ft. Lee, New Jersey, the municipality that’s located adjacent to the Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge connected to New York City. The bridge closure was intended to punish the mayor of Ft. Lee who did not support Christie’s candidacy for another term as governor.

6 Two toll lanes providing access to The George Washington Bridge directly from the local streets in Ft Lee were shut down. The caper occurred on the first day of school creating massive chaos. The scheme created a traffic horror resulting in massive traffic jams, serious health risks and one death. Two Port Authority staffers were convicted and sentenced to some time in the “sweatbox” aka jail, prison, the pokey or “the clink.” The Supreme Court exonerated them in 2020 and they were released. What about Christie? He walked, or rolled away from the entire ordeal and won a second term. If he had was subjected to questioning he might have said: “I knew about the bridge closure and I had though they said ‘close the frig’ so I really never was involved with that bridge thing. My hands are clean and so was my plate!”

Having a ball While walking through I noticed a little boy, about six years old, who seemed to be very frustrated trying to retrieve a soccer ball that he kicked it into the enclosed area. I asked him if it was his ball and he nodded yes. He had either kicked or thrown the ball into a small-enclosed inaccessible area. A

7 temporary metal mesh fence obstructed access making it impossible for him to retrieve his soccer ball. Noticing his frustration I stopped to take a look. While he pondered the dilemma I suggested, “You need a plan.” He looked up at me and I detected that he seemed hopeful that I might be able to help him retrieve his ball. He didn’t speak, perhaps he had been told not to talk to strangers. I saw a piece of bent wire securing the area where his ball had landed. I twisted the wire enabling me to swing the makeshift gate open. After retrieving his ball I twisted the wire back to its intended purpose. I walked away waiving to him with a sense of gratification. Suddenly I heard him shout. “Bye-bye! Bye- bye! Bye-bye mister” while he waved to me. I waived back with a broad smile. With his ball in hand he ran to his parents who were seated on a nearby bench. No doubt they observed the entire incident. Perhaps he learned a valuable lesson about problem solving and helping others. I walked home with another precious memory in the park. “Hey lady!” My brother taught in The South Bronx in the ‘60’s to avoid the Vietnam “Conflict.” At times,

8 he was a roving substitute. On one occasion he taught at a school where a rumor spread like wildfire that Jerry Lewis was teaching there! My brother looked very much like Jerry Lewis and he also had a terrific talent of imitating him perfectly! At day’s end, as he approached his car, he noticed a crowd that had gathered. The kids were making a commotion, shouting and waiving pieces of paper seeking autographs. “Hey lady!” The kids were hysterical and loving every minute of it. He got in his car, shut the door and was about to start the car’s engine. A little girl knocked on his window. He lowered his window and she slipped the paper to him and walked away. While driving home he stopped at a red light and he unfolded the paper she gave him. His jaw dropped and he smiled broadly when he read what she had written. To a very nice man, love Elizabeth Taylor!

1 Extra Place Apt. 4U Completed in 2017 an upscale residential condo building, part of a small complex, was completed on a piece of property formally occupied by a Pathmark supermarket. It’s located between 1st Street and 2nd Avenue at the north end of Bowery Street. It’s on a dead

9 end street off the beaten , truly is a slice of “hidden New York.” What I love about the building most of all is the address. It doesn’t have a prestigious address such as , 740 , 220 Central Park South and 998 . The neighborhood is known as Nolita, an acronym for north of Little Italy. It’s also a stone’s throw from Chinatown, Soho and The East Village. What a terrific gift from a loving soul would be to give a gift, a condo located at: 1 Extra Place 4U New York, NY to their adoring significant other.

“Sully” History was made on January 15, 2009. “Sully” Capt. Chesley B. Sullenberger, saved 155 lives piloting U. S. Airways flight 1549. Immediately after takeoff from LaGuardia airport the engines failed due to a flock of Canadian geese got sucked into both engines causing power failure. Sully glided the powerless Airbus A320 a nearly impossible task that became known as “The miracle on the Hudson.” Immediately after landing a flotilla of ships rescued all the souls that were on board. They stood on the wings in 11-degree weather, no doubt a harrowing experience. First

10 responders assisted their transfer to ships that raced to the scene. Sully and his crew arrived at their hotel and no doubt after drying off they went directly to the bar. The bartender welcomed them offering the crew drinks on the house. He told Sully “I’ve got a special drink for you! “Whata ya got?” “A double Grey Goose with a splash of water!”

Mr. Chrysler “arrived” Walter P. Chrysler’s train arrived on track 29 at with a private car attached at the rear. The legendary 20th Century Limited was the fastest and most luxurious way to get from Chicago’s La Salle station to Grand Central Terminal overnight. The term, “Red carpet treatment” was first mentioned to describe the quality of the service on the 20th Century Limited. The purpose of Mr. Chrysler’s visit was to close the deal on his signature . Chrysler, a bon vivant, arrived in the private coach-car ensuring a memorable overnight trip. Reporters waited eagerly to greet him at platform 29. Upon his arrival several reporters, who were waiting for the train to arrive, had been tipped of that Mr. Chrysler was not traveling alone.

11 Mr. Chrysler stepped out of the train onto the platform smiling broadly and waiving to the reporters. “Welcome to New York Mr. Chrysler! Is it true you have a showgirl in your private car?” “Absolutely not! Don’t be ridiculous. I have two showgirls in the car!” True!

The Pack Meeting District The Meatpacking District acquired that moniker many years ago and for good reason. Until recently it was a perfect name where slicing and dicing beef, lamb, pork, etc. for restaurants, supermarkets, and hotels. In recent times nearly all of the meat packers relocated except for a few that continue to occupy their real estate, “sitting on their money.” The neighborhood has been transformed into a place mainly for young adults, techies, movers and shakers. Those young high-tech graduates are very well paid and they’ve taken over the neighborhood working for Google, Apple, Spectrum, Food Network and countless other high-tech firms. At days end the district transforms into a place for those “on the prowl” seeking companionship, fun and frolic. Boutiques, trendy new hotels, restaurants, bars, and

12 replaced the meatpackers. They could not compete with the rents the restaurants; clubs, bars and boutique shops could afford to pay. That’s why the Meat Packing District should be renamed, “The Pack Meeting District!”

Step by step My father owned a small film processing and printing lab located on the second floor in serving retail customers. It was located in a small building that did not have an elevator. His customers climbed a long flight of stairs to get there. I still recall when a man entered the store holding paintbrushes. He had dried paint all over his hands and clothing. “I see you have quite a few steps that customers climb to get up here. Perhaps you should use those steps to advertise your services. Painting the stair’s risers revealing your services would be good for your business!” “Great idea!” my father agreed. Several years ago I was walking past 1190 Sixth Ave in midtown where my father’s lab was located. Suddenly it all came back to me sixty years age. I opened the door and noticed the stairs were still used to advertise the

13 businesses that are currently located in the building! The steps featured services promoting a beauty salon such as Perms, Coloring, Cuts & Curls, etc. and the 3rd floor business promoted jeweler’s wares and services, watch repairs, We buy gold, engagement rings, etc. The city is built on millions of similar events. In this case, the seeds were planted over half a century ago. Of all the people who’ve seen those steps I embrace the thought: I’m the only person alive in the city who witnessed the story.

NYC’s biggest “pane in the gl-ass” There are five Apple Stores in Manhattan; The Oculus, Soho, Upper Eastside, Upper Westside and the one that’s located between 59th and 58th Street on 5th Avenue. The other four boroughs have five Apple stores too. The 5th Avenue store does more business per square foot than any store, of any kind, on earth. It never closes except during the pandemic up June 17, 2020. The original glass cube consisted of 90 panes of glass since then they’ve been replaced with a 15-piece cube enhancing status of the store and the Apple brand. The side panes are 365.6 square feet and 32 feet long. The $6.6 million upgrade

14 stands as “The Temple that Steve Built.” The glass was manufactured in China.

New York City’s first Italian takeout food The great Italian explorer, Giovanni da Verrazano sailing for the French was the first European to set eyes on Manhattan who entered the harbor in 1524. He didn’t “step foot” on the island due to terrible weather but, he was the first explorer to see Manhattan. Strangely, he sailed to Guadeloupe “for dinner” literally! Upon his arrival the Seminole Indians killed, cooked and ate him along with a few other tasty crewmembers. As a result, he’ll always be remembered as New York City’s first Italian take-out food. The locals whispered amongst themselves, “Guess who came diner?”

Nosidam Nosidam was a gourmet restaurant located on . Its doors closed for good due to a major slam posted in Zagat’s the restaurant guidebook. It’s “The Bible” a reference guide for high-end foodies. Its annual right of passage stresses owners, investors, managers, employees and restaurant staffers. Anticipating the new

15 edition triggers the restaurant trade to “stress out” anticipating what will be printed in Zagat. Foodies, fine dining devotees and hacks submit their reviews knowing one horrible review could crush a restaurant. Excellent reviews, no doubt, boost restaurant’s fortunes. Nosidam was located on Madison Avenue, New York’s Rodeo Drive, a high-end district catering to a very demanding clientele. Nosidam is Madison spelled backwards and Park spelled backwards is krap. That’s why a reviewer had written, “It should have been on Park.” Not long after that slam Nosidam closed its doors forever. I believe ultimately Google will eradicate Zagat’s. We’ll see however, nothing can put an end to trickster reviews. Word of mouth is still the best “source for the best sauce.”

“Downstairs train station” While touring in Harlem with a couple from Italy we stopped by the statue of Harriet Tubman, the abolitionist, who provided the inspiration creating “safe-houses” a path to freedom for enslaved people in the mid 19th century seeking freedom in the north. I told

16 my guests it had become known as the “Underground Railroad.” My lady guest revealed that she had studied American history in Milan and proudly proclaimed, “Oh yes! She made the famous expression Downstairs Train Station!” While smiling, I agreed. Perhaps, in Italian, the translation of Underground Railroad morphed into Downstairs Train Station. Did I correct her? Of course not!

86 Have you heard the expression 86? During Prohibition a bar known as Chumley’s opened for business at 86 Bedford Street in Greenwich Village. The “good cops” alerted the bartenders that the bad cops were on their way by shouting “86!” Ultimately, it became a ubiquitous expression meaning cancel or “let’s 86” get out of here.”

Duck and Cover To see the most magnificent subway station in the system you’ll have to stay seated. The southbound #6 train’s last stop is The Bridge City Hall Station. The conductor announce,

17 “All passengers must leave the train.” Ignore him, stay on the train for a wonderful surprise; I’ve done it many times with tour guests. Pay no attention to the conductor’s announcement and you will not be seen by anyone in the station get seated and duck below the window but you must be on a seat on the side to exit the station. In less than a minute the train departs moves slowly and passes the first and most magnificent subway station in the entire system. The first subway train departed from that station in October 27, 1904. It rivals the most ornate subway stations in Europe. It is truly is a spectacular experience, a trip back in time. Have your iPhone ready to take pictures or a short video as the train slowly passes through the station. The station is out of service due to its short length and the station is too short to accommodate todays longer trains. It’s fun to break the rules now and then when rules are stupid and unnecessary especially, if it puts no one at risk. It’s authority for authority’s sake, something we’ve all experienced.

18 One if by land two if by sea “One if by Land and Two if by Sea” is perhaps the most romantic restaurant in New York City. Its name commemorates Paul Revere’s warning by using one or two lanterns to warn patriots where the British would attack from land or sea. In 1999 with the company of a woman, our first day, we dined first seated at the bar for a drink before dinner while enjoying the atmosphere, fireplace and piano music. Afie, the bartender was a smart cookie, always pretending as if she never met me. “What’ll you have sir?” she asked. “Two French campaigns please.” I placed a $20 bill on the bar. In those days it covered the cost. She pretended to ring up the sale and turned around to face us placing both glasses of campaign in front of us. She tendered my change, two ten-dollar bills! I slid one back to her and pocketed the other. She smirked from ear to ear with a wink. Aline, my date, and I were married within a year. With a wide-eyed smile she asked me, “why did Afie return your money?” I responded, “Yeah, I have friends in high places. I believe she was acting coy; she’s too smart not to have known.

19 “Reading between the lions Two sculptured Tennessee marble lions adorn both sides of the steps in front of the Library. Mayor LaGuardia named them Patience and Fortitude during The Great Depression. It was a statement of what it would take to get the depression under control. Whenever I walk past those lions and see someone sitting and reading between the lions I remark: “You’re reading between the lions!” It seems to me what we need now during the corona19 virus is a dose of Patience and Fortitude and a smile beneath your mask!

Smart kid A few years ago I provided a tour for a family with a very bright twelve-year-old girl. In fact, she had read all the Harry Potter books while she was in the first grade! She asked me, “Have you been doing tours all your life?” “No, I was in the one-hour photo business.” “What’s that?’ she asked. “Before digital photography and iPhones the only way to capture pictures was with a film camera.”

20 I explained that film had to be developed and printed using chemicals and sensitized photo paper in the process, etc. One-hour photo stores got the job done in only one hour! It was a new technology that had become a very popular way to get your photos. Getting your pictures in only one hour was amazing! Her comment was: “Why would anybody want to wait an hour to see their pictures?”

“Let ‘em eat cake” The over-the-top upper class in Manhattan has gotten a lot of press lately. Billionaires are snatching up eight figure condos. New high- rise condos have created record-breaking prices with eight figure prices and even a few nine-figure price tags too! “Billionaire’s Row” is located on and Central Park South and a few others in that immediate area. 220 Central Park South holds the record for the highest price paid for a home or pied-a- terr. A four-floor penthouse consisting of 16,000 square feet sold for $14,875 per square foot. That’s $238,000,000 a record-breaking price for a residence in the United States. Mr. & Mrs. Ken Griffith, were the happy owners.

21 held the height record for a residential building in 2015 at 1,396 feet. A 1920 trashcan inspired the design. A new “super-tall” stands 1,550 feet with 131 floors has shattered the height record. One block from that quarter mile castle in the sky high place are homeless men are sleeping on the sidewalk. It’s a portrait of wealth disparity, shades of Marie Antoinette, “Let ‘em eat cake” Qu’ilw mangent de la brioche.

The cat is mail not a male In 1897 a cat went down the tubes, not bankruptcy, literally the tubes! The American Pneumatic Company built and operated a twenty-seven mile long tube connecting Manhattan and Brooklyn primarily for postal mail service. The pipeline connected twenty- two post offices and topped out at 95,000 letters and invoices daily. It was shut down due to overwhelming maintenance costs. It had been reported that a cat was put in the pipeline and “mail cat” as it was referred to be the only animal on earth that took a tube from Manhattan to Brooklyn! Oh yes, I assume the mail cat was a male!

22 ‘Choppers . . . ouch! While landing on the roof of the Pan Am building, now known as The Metropolitan Life Building, a New York Airways helicopter’s landing gear malfunctioned causing the ‘chopper to a tilted landing, picture that! Four passengers about to board a ‘chopper to JKF at 5:35 PM on May 16th 1977 were waiting for the ‘chopper to land. Four would-be passengers were struck by rotating blades as the ‘chopper attempted to land. A malfunction caused three deaths and “seriously” wounded a forth. Pieces of the blades flew off the building killing one person on the ground and nearly killing another. Service was immediately discontinued. Well, I guess that’s why they call ‘em ‘choppers!

A timeless clock Barthman’s sidewalk clock was imbedded in the sidewalk and it seemed to be a terrific idea promoting his and a partner’s jewelry store located at 176 . The clock was installed in 1896 and it’s still imbedded in the sidewalk. Eventually the timepiece stopped. Barthman and his partner Homm built and designed the clock and they were the only ones who knew how to fix it. It still attracts

23 attention however it became a terrible embarrassment. It’s “timeless!”

“Vote for Cuomo not the Homo” Ed Koch and Mario Cuomo were about to face off in a primary election to capture the nomination to represent the Democratic Party in New York City’s mayoral election in 1982. Cuomo’s staff started to post signs throughout the city; “Vote for Cuomo not the Homo.” It was a stupid and vicious lowball shot at Ed Koch. He never married and his sexual inclinations were never had been revealed. If such tactics were applied today, Mario Cuomo would have been “run out of town.” Matilda must have been ashamed! At the rate that things are going on in Albany, at this time, he may have found another way to get busted out of his position in New York government, right Governor? Koch won the primary and the election as well and two terms thereafter. He was a wonderful mayor had a mind like a steel trap with a priceless sense of humor. He was loved and respected during very challenging times. Several political scandals had taken place during his reign however, it was commonly agreed that his hands were clean.

24 Two Standouts Jack Paar and Steve Allan pioneered the concept of late night talk shows featuring celebrities, comedians, entertainers, actors, politicians, etc. providing lively and entertaining conversations. Paar had the best comic writers on earth such as: Sid Caesar, Woody Allen, Dick Cavett, Mel Brooks, Neal Simon and others who had previously written comedy for Sid Caesar’s “Show of Shows.” Arranging Jane Mansfield’s appearance on his show entailed enormous effort. Ultimately she agreed to appear together with her strikingly sexy persona and her enormous breasts. Paar’s comedy team was put to the task to create a short introductory line for Mr. Paar as she appeared on stage. The introduction required impact and humor that would evoke riotous laughter and applause. Parr’s stress was building as the big day was upon him. Just in time, Dick Cavett had a stroke of genius and conceived the perfect line. As Ms. Mansfield emerged from behind the curtain. Paar’s welcome was: “Here they are!” The audience went wild and the outcome was TV’s most spectacular standout!

25 The value of bars The Cororna19 virus pandemic has dramatically changed our lives, hopefully for only a short time. Most bars in New York City are still closed, as of this writing. Thousands of bar goers lament the closure of their favorite watering holes. New York City is bars, the center of our universe, places where many need to talk, acquire or give advice in the best and worst of times. We’re attracted to “watering holes” meeting people or drinking buddies enjoying the camaraderie while “bending elbows.” New friends seated nearby often join conversations and, in most cases, they’re welcomed to do so. For many lost souls it’s very comforting it’s a departure from loneliness. Business deals are made at bars and quite likely more deals are closed in bars due to the liquid refreshment that enhances the inclination to “give in” and conclude the deal. Think of Edward Hopper’s painting, created in Greenwich Village, “Nighthawks” depicting loneliness and despair in early morning hours away form their home riding out long depressing nights. Where else can people go to enjoy an escape from reality pushing their loneliness aside?

26 Seeking companionship, a conversation to step outside their real world, a place to cast off loneliness in the company of others is vitally important for countless numbers especially now. During the Corona19 invasion bars are needed more then ever. There are 120 Irish Pubs in Manhattan confirming the importance of bars and that’s the tip of the iceberg. “Drink up and don’t be afraid to talk to a stranger who most likely will be glad you started the conversation.

The Un“Happy Land” fire The Happy Land fire of March 25, 1990 was the horrifying result of “love gone bad.” Eighty-seven young adults attended the club that evening celebrating a Honduran holiday. The tragedy occurred in at 1976 Crotona Pkwy. The NYFD had ordered the premises to close years before however; the city failed to follow up! Unbelievable! The building violations proved to be the real cause of the fire a terrible and inevitable recipe for disaster. The breakup of a relationship resulted in an act of unspeakable revenge committed by the coat-check girl’s boyfriend, Julio Gonzalez. After her final rejection of him he left the club

27 after his final attempt to reconcile. He purchased a plastic container and a dollar’s worth of gasoline at a nearby AMOCO station. Upon his return he emptied the gasoline at the bottom of the only staircase that led to the exit from the lower level, a basement. He struck a match at the bottom of the staircase and fled the building. The coat-check girl, the building owner and the DJ were the only survivors because they were on the street level above the crowd that had assembled for the party in the basement level below. It was the city’s most tragic fire since the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire of March 25, 1911 that claimed 146 lives. Both fires occurred on March 25th 79 years apart. Close family members of the deceased had failed to hire an attorney to sue the city for malicious negligence. Incredible! Gonzalez died in prison in September 2016. The city did not provide a nickel to the families of those lost. It’s sinful! Mayor Dinkins got off to a very bad start.

A locked in deal The smallest building in Manhattan has more keys than any other building in the city! How could that be?

28 The owner, a bearded elder gent, named Phil with his son they own and operate their locksmith business located at 56 Seventh Avenue South in Greenwich Village a few doors south of Commerce Street. Their 125 square foot building is a keeper, a forever home of their business and their labor of love. Over 10,000 keys are glued on the building’s façade! It’s Phil’s artistic creation, an impressive symbol of a happy father and son. Offers come and go but they’re staying put. Recently, an offer was made to purchase the property for $1,250,000, that’s $10,000 per square foot! They’re not interested in selling because Phil and his son have a “locked in deal!”

The National Debt Clock In 1989 Seymour Durst, a foremost real estate developer in Manhattan conceived and installed “The National Debt Clock” located a few blocks from at 110 West 44th Street. An IRS office is located in the building dovetailing with the location of the clock. In 1989 the national debt soared to $3 trillion. Between 2000 and 2002 Mr. Durst removed the clock due to the decline of the national debt as a result he felt it was no longer

29 necessary. On June 29th, 2020 the national debt had soared to $25,683,672,542,544. When the debt reached $10 trillion in 2008 the clock had to be modified adding another digit! Do you think some day we’ll be able to remove the fourteenth digit? Nah, there’ll be another digit when we reach $100 trillion.

Be better be different In the early 1990’s I met a particular woman who impressed me and I planned an evening that I knew would be memorable. As part of my preparation, I took a walk to Central Park South to cut a deal with a coachman that had the most impressive looking horse-drawn “Handsome Cab.” I approached a coachman and asked: “How would you like me to give you a $100 bill tonight?” I asked. “Sure, how?” I removed a $100 bill from my pocket and tore it in half. I gave him a half and asked him to meet me at the Majestic Theatre at 10:30 that evening to transfer a lady with me to the Sheffield Residence located at 322 West 57th Street. Upon our arrival I’ll give you the other half. After the show we emerged from the theatre the sidewalk was jammed-packed.

30 “We’ll never catch a cab,” she told me. “There’s our cab!” I caught the driver’s attention and we departed in the most memorable way. It’s fun to plan exceptional experiences. That’s what makes life special. Be better be different! Why are the coaches called Handsome Cabs? A New York City architect designed them in 1834 and the gent’s name was Joseph Handsome.

Sidewalk bargain While walking past a little church on West 57th Street I noticed a table with items for sale hanging from a clothes rack on the sidewalk. An unshaven and unkempt older man tendered the goods. A white ski jacket with a fur collar caught my eye and the label was still attached! I asked him, “What would it take to buy it?” In my opinion it was worth over $250. “Make me an offer,” he suggested. “Twenty bucks” I responded. “Deal!” he replied. When I got home I put my hands in the pockets and pulled out three one-dollar bills. I wore it for several years and received many compliments. Ah, the sidewalks of New York!

31 Marty Cohen Marty Cohen graduated from college with a teaching degree to avoid the military draft. The Vietnamese “conflict,” as labeled by the government was raging and enormous numbers of young men were drafted creating a severe teacher shortage. Marty and I were friends and we assembled all necessary documents needed to launch our teaching careers in New York City. We enrolled in the ITTP “instant teacher training program” in New York City. A teaching assignment in a Title 1 school was a path to military avoidance. Title 1 schools were located in impoverish high crime and drug infested neighborhoods. Marty was assigned to teach in the south Bronx and on the first day of school, while walking in the hall, a few Hispanic boys at the other end shouted. “Hey madicone!!” His shockingly naïve reply was, “How do you know my name?” Madicone is a deprecating Spanish word for a male homosexual. Marty was clueless. To him, those boys were simply shouting his name, Marty Cohen! Upon hearing Marty’s response the boys collapsed, laughing hysterically while Marty

32 walked away confounded. Certainly, he didn’t expect to get an education on top of a deferment and lousy paycheck. All that mattered was avoiding military service, legally. I did the same and the bimonthly pay check was net, $212.

Zero pedestrian deaths, but . . . Nearing the end of the second month of the covid19 pandemic not one pedestrian death had occurred caused by a moving vehicle in New York City since the pandemic began. However, speeding tickets were up 300%! How could that be? The volume of traffic was at an all time low. Today, as I’m writing this bit today May 14, 2020 in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic “from bad there’s always some good.” Oye!

Tough buck for hacks In 1937, at the height of the depression, the City of New York initiated the sale of 11,787 taxi medallions for $10 renewable annually for a nominal fee. Taxi medallions represent the authority to own and operate a yellow cab. The value of a medallion stood at $1,000,000 in 2013. Currently they’re selling for less then $160,000 due to what is known as “Uber effect.”

33 In the past, medallions were considered to be a worthy investment, providing a job for life, generating sufficient income to raise a family. “Uber effect” never happened elsewhere as it had in New York City. The Taxi and Limousine Commission, TLC, issued 100,000 licenses to Uber, Via and Lift’s qualified applicants. It created increased traffic volume while the state and city tried to solve the traffic congestion problem. At the same time the State decided to tax owners of cars and trucks entering Manhattan during designated hours, not yet enforced. Huh? Your government hard at . . . ? Adding salt to the wound the taxi fare increased when Uber “joined the party.” A fee to fund the traffic congestion solution on top of another state tax was added to the “drop of the meter.” Even in the best of times driving for dollars is “a tough buck!” The City should take a bow for the most outrageous act of stupidity and horrific disregard for hardworking New Yorkers. In sum, the city exacerbated traffic congestion by flooding the roads with Uber and Lift vehicles and increasing taxi fares all at the same time! Hey NYC and State, you can’t have it both ways; increasing traffic and plan to reduce traffic at the same time! Huh

34 New York City stole art deco from the French, who stole? it from the Germans and New York City also “stole” steel-frame construction from Chicago. The city was the first to create a law, in 1916, preventing huge buildings from blocking sunlight and air, generically known as “The Setback law.” A building could rise to unlimited heights if its footprint was no more than 25% of the area of the property. The two foremost 20th century beauties are The Chrysler Building, New York’s favorite, designed by William Van Alen and The designed by Shreve, Lamb and Harmon, America’s favorite. The term skyscraper originally referred to sailing ship’s masts. We’re off to a very good start in the 21st century with a few of the notables such as: The World Trade Tower, 432 Park Avenue, Hudson Yards, New York by Gehry, The , Via 57, and The Oculus to name a few. The word skyscraper originally referred to tall masts on sailing ships.

No Standing A tourist pointed to a sign, “No Standing.”

35 “Are we allowed to stand here?” he asked me. “Sure, of course! I responded. It seemed, to me that it was a reasonable question. Some street signs are confusing; resulting in visitors interpreting them in ways that are hard to believe. This guy was serious! Perhaps the sign should read, No People Standing or No Cars Permitted.

Dying for a cigarette Their first and last date occurred on August 1, 2013 and ended tragically. Jennifer Rosoff, a 35-year-old woman and her date a Mr. Stephen Close were enjoying the balmy evening weather that evening. After a pleasant dinner at a local restaurant in midtown Manhattan they retreated to her 19th floor and settled on her terrace located on the 19th floor. Mr. Close had cautioned her not to lean against the corner piece that was supported by two brackets that attached to the railing. She lit a cigarette while leaning against the terrace corner piece, ignoring Mr. Close’s advice and the corner piece suddenly “gave way” causing her to plunge onto a sidewalk scaffold. What a horror, so sad.

36 “Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb?” Groucho Marx, the master of slapstick comedy asked that question hundreds of times during his popular television show, “You bet your life.” It was aired from 1950 to 1961. Most people thought it was a dumb question but it’s not! We all know General U. S. Grant was buried there, right? Wrong! The right answer is nobody! It’s the country’s most expensive mausoleum built at a cost of one million dollars in 1897. In current dollars it’s equivalent to $26 million. Located in the upper Westside in Manhattan at 122nd St. and Riverside Drive. U.S. Grant and his wife Julia Dent Grant lie in repose above ground. The design was inspired by Napoleon’s tomb and if someone asks you the question you don’t have to “dig too deep!” Oye!

Killing Time I was often up for a bit of mischief at fourteen years of age. Steve Baer, a friend of mine, had the same inclination. We were bad boys but, harmlessly so. For example, we took the subway to Macy’s “the world’s largest store.” Why go anywhere else to purchase anything or to create some fun and frolic? We were up for it and we

37 thought of a great idea on one particular occasion. We stopped by the clock department we set off approximately fifty alarm clocks to ring-a-ling at about at the same time. It took a while to set up the scheme, but becoming experts as we plied our trade and giggling as we worked completing the task. We decided to linger a while not to miss the imminent action of the clock-blast. Why leave? We couldn’t stop laughing and nearly crashed to the floor when the clocks, one by one, awoke! A security guard came running and left walking down moving escalators fleeing the scene of the crime. As we were leaving the store I noticed a uniformed security guard standing near the exit. I came up with an idea, another act of mischief that I had to keep to myself, until . . . As we were walking past the security guard I told Steve in a loud voice for the security guard to hear: “Put it back Steve! Come on! Just put it back!” The security guard grabbed his arm and took him to the security office. As I waived good- bye smiling at Steve he waived back with a wink and a smile. However, he was unable to hold back his laughter. We met up outside and we took the train home. What a day? It sort of

38 reminds me of the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” ***** Macy’s still has two wooden escalators, the first in existence, manufactured by The Otis Elevator Company in 1902. Macy’s still has two of the twenty that were originally are installed are still in use. They know it’s a tourist attraction. The first escalator was an amusement park ride at for a nickel. People were shouting in amazement and some people were even passing out! “The stairs are moving, the stairs are moving, OMG!”

“Sweet n Low” not so sweet? During World War II Mr. and Mrs. Ben Eisenstadt owned and operated a cafeteria in the Brooklyn Navy Yard. When World War II they closed their business. They sold their equipment and used the money to fund the purchase of a tea bag machine. They set up their new business on Cumberland Avenue not far from The Brooklyn Navy Yard. The Eisenstadts took a coffee break at the Cumberland Diner. It was 1957 when Mrs. Eisenstadt was about to add some sugar to her coffee. After removing the sugar bowl lid she noticed clumps of brown sugar in the sugar

39 bowl, the result of multiple prior users who had then doused their spoons in their coffee. She suggested, “Ben wouldn’t it be nice if sugar was packaged individually like tea? That would eliminate people dipping wet spoons in unsanitary sugar bowls!” Taking the concept to the next step they asked their son Marvin, a chemist, to create a granulated saccharin compound. In those those days Saccharin was used an artificial liquid food additive for food processing. Marvin succeeded and the world’s first artificial sweetener was born, Sweet ‘n Low. Sweet ‘n Low was the name of a song the Eisenstadts danced to during their courtship, also known as “keeping company” in the 1940’s. Surely, you’ve noticed the music staff and G clef on the pink wrapper, the logo of Sweet ‘n Low. Ben neglected to do one essential thing, apply for a patent, unbelievable! It sparked a nightmare of endless litigation and pressure from the mafia to collect protection money known as a “vig” a term for “a slice of the pie.” It tore apart as relatives crawled out of the walls swarming for a piece of the action. Tragically, at times, family businesses shatter families and marriages, and there’s nothing sweet about a family that’s torn apart. Can you

40 imagine the flak and grief Ben had to endure from his family? That was low but not sweet.

Attn: Sparrows Recently, while waiting for the B train at the subway station I noticed a sparrow flying down into the station’s lower level. It seemed to me that our fine-feathered friend seemed to be searching for the exit. I thought of making a sign and posting it on a pillar in the station.

ATTN BIRDS! Fly out at 125th St. Take the #1 uptown it’s it’s above ground. You’ll be free as a bird

It would be fun to stand back and check out people’s reactions.

Pigeons know the best pizza! The best pizza in the city is Joe’s Pizza located at 7 Carmine Street in Greenwich Village. It’s a few steps from Sixth Ave take the subway to the West 4th Street Station. Fast hot fresh crunchy and consistent perfect! They close at 5 AM perhaps because all bars’ “last call” is 4PM.

41 Don’t ask for Joe, he’s never there. Sit down across the street on a bench in Father Demo Park where pigeons hang out for scraps. They too know where the city’s best pizza can be found. Mangia

“Giuliani’s suing Kennedy’s son?” “Mayor Giuliani is suing Kennedy’s son!” What? While walking up Columbus Avenue, approximately twenty-three years ago, my wife’s friend, also a French woman with a very thick accent made that statement! “That makes absolutely no sense! JFK Jr. had been killed in a plane crash.” I told her! After bantering back and forth I figured it out. She was saying, with a thick French accent, Con Edison however her pronunciation came out as “Kennedy’s son” with her thick French accent it sounded like Con Edison! She was referring to a huge electrical power failure that was a risk for hundreds of elderly people. They had to be transferred to facilities unaffected by the power outage. At the time, Giuliani was known as “America’s mayor.” As of this writing, February 15, 2021, he’s taken a deep dive due to is connection with Trump. Regardless of your political inclinations New York City’s affection and

42 respect for him has vanished. What a fall from grace!

Benzi Box Bowery Street is the place to buy cash registers, light fixtures, restaurant supplies and all sorts of stuff. In the mid 80’s I was shopping for a stainless steel sink for my one- hour photo business. While checking out a sink I peeked outside the store window to check my car. My worse fears were confirmed. A window was smashed. I ran outside and as I had suspected the radio was gone, duh! A Benzi-box was a radio was easily removable, a terrific benefit for radio thieves and radio manufacturers. Replacements fueled the Benzi Box industry. That’s why they were easy to made to steal. Ya think? A cop caught the “perp” cuffed him, took the radio and the “perp” to the precinct. The cops refused to return my radio; it was necessary evidence. I asked, “When can I get it back?” “After the trial!” Why the hell am I being punished? The following day I went to the police precinct dropped the charges and retrieved my radio. The circumstances could have been resolved without me being punished.

43 Guess what folks; the system was changed not by a government but rather by new technology. Eventually car radios were designed as unmovable and cars.

“Holey” hair day! Albert Anastasia, the Mafioso boss of Murder, Inc. was seated in a barber chair on October 25, 1957 at The in Midtown about to get his shave, or so he had thought. Suddenly, two men walked in “Crazy Joe” Gallo and another hit man shot Albert numerous times from behind and made a hasty retreat. Anastasia lurched forward staggered toward the mirror in front of him. He mistakenly thought that his assassins were in front of him. This was the worst hair day ever! Too bad he missed Halloween and the barber got screwed out of his tip. Why should he? He didn’t finish the job. “Crazy Joe” aka Mr. Gallo met a similar fate, as he was about to celebrate his recent marriage at Umberto’s Clam House in Little Italy. He got his share of lead, paid “in “kind” on April 7, 1972.

“Yonkers is not on the level?” Recently, Aline and were enjoying lunch in Cold Springs, New York and we were seated

44 next to another couple. We became engaged in conversation with a retired Yonkers police officer and his wife. Yonkers is the city where I was raised. It’s bordered the north side of The Bronx, a New York City borough. He told me there’s an expression in the police department, due the hilly terrain in Yonkers; “Yonkers is not on the level!” Ha! I asked him if he knew what Yonkers meant and he didn’t have a clue. It means squire, a landowner in Dutch. Adriaen van der Donck owned 500 acres in the 17th century that ultimately became most of The City of Yonkers. As a kid people asked me; “Where are you from, kid?” “I live in next to the largest city in the world!” “What city is that?” “Yonkers!” Perhaps you’re familiar with Ira Gershwin’s lyics: Who cares if the sky starts to fall in the sea? Who cares if banks fail in Yonkers? As long as you’ve got a kiss that conquers.

Ice! That’s nice Everyone loves for many reasons; its architecture, unique urban design, the spectacular Christmas tree, art adorning

45 the entire complex, the symmetry of magnificent buildings, the indoor underground shopping mall, , the Rockettes, The Promenade, Studio H where SNL is broadcasted, Top of the Rock the city’s best observation Deck, NBC studios, The and the epic skating rink. For nearly a century the most unique and foremost design concept of urban planning, according to Le Corbusier (1887-1965) considered it the world’s foremost urban architectural achievement of our time. Before the project’s completion the planners scratched their heads trying to figure out what to do with the space that ultimately became the ice skating rink. Originally it had been suggested that the space should be occupied by an opera house. With only eleven annual performances a year John D. Rockefeller, Jr. decided it was impracticable use of the space Nearing the end of construction on a November night it “rained cats and dogs.” The following morning the rainwater turned to ice. Several construction workers had brought their ice-skates to work. They were the first to skate there initiating the concept of the skating rink. During warmer months the rink is transformed into a restaurant and bar. At

46 times, terrific ideas come from the most unexpected places.

“The Heights” A neighborhood in upper Manhattan is known as “The Heights” officially, Washington Heights. It’s well known for several reasons. 1) It’s where the entrance to the George Washington Bridge is located. It’s also the highest elevation in Manhattan, 265 feet above sea level. 2) It’s known for Bennett Park where Fort Washington was located as well as the site of The Battle of New York. There’s a plaque imbedded in a rock “The Highest Natural Point on Manhattan 265 Feet Above Sea level USC & GS Datum” 3) The Cloisters is a spectacular medieval castle imported from France piece by piece and reassembled on a high point overlooking The Hudson River in Fort Tryon. It features medieval art and various artifacts on display. It’s beyond impressive try to experience it. Imagine, J, D. Rockefeller, Jr. had every stone transported across the ocean, incredible! 4) Washington Heights is also the childhood home of Lin-Manuel Miranda, author, producer, actor and director of the Broadway hits Hamilton and In the Heights.

47 5) Another oddity is the deepest subway station in the system 173 feet deep, located at 191st Street and St. Nicolas Avenue. It’s equipped with a huge elevator. It’s the deepest subway station. 6) And last but not least there is an intersection with two very curiously hysterical names: Seaman Ave and Cumming St. I’m not making this up! It’s a bit west off Dyckman Street.

Crime of the Century* Stanford White (1853-1906) is regarded as New York City’s most prolific architect. He was the victim of the first crime of the century. He preferred the first accolade. He sexually abused Evelyn Nesbit a 16-year- old showgirl on countless occasions. Such lascivious activity occurred inside his tower apartment located in the first Madison Garden built and designed by White erected in 1879. It was demolished in 1928 due to the construction of the New York Life Headquarters at 51 Madison Avenue. The first Madison Square Garden, located on Madison Avenue with a garden on the roof; now you know why the successors are named Madison Square Garden. The first one had a very short

48 life, built in 1879, however the name survived as three replacements were built over time. Edna Goodrich, a theatrical producer, introduced Miss Nesbit, a Broadway theatre showgirl, for The Florodora Company, to Harry . Thaw, son of a Pittsburg railroad titan. He had a reputation of abusing women and he was an avid drug abuser. After a brief courtship, included luxury trips to Europe and the best of everything, he and Ms. Nesbit agreed to tie the knot. Ultimately Mr. Thaw had become aware that his fiancée and Mr. White had been cavorting, on numerous occasions, prior to their marriage. Thaw became enraged during Mr. White’s last appearance at Madison Square Garden’s rooftop evening dinner theatre. Mr. Thaw seized the opportunity and shot Mr. White in the head on June 25th 1906. Mr. Thaw was the first person in American history acquitted of murder by reason of temporary insanity. A heart attack in 1947 brought Mr. Thaw’s life to an end. Mrs. Nesbit passed away in 1967 at the age of 82. *As time passes the “crime of the century” is replaced by more gruesome crimes. The second crime of the century was the kidnapping of Charles Lindbergh’s baby son and perhaps the third was the assassination of JFK.

49

“Mickey Mouse . . . man!” David Dinkins, an African-American politician, was a dapper dresser and avid tennis player, as mayor, eh! He defeated Rudy Giuliani in the mayoral election, for New York City in 1988 making him the first black man to capture the mayoralty. I asked one of my African-American employees, “Who’s going to get your vote?” “Dinkins man!” was his reply. Then I asked, “Who would get your vote if Dinkins was white and Giuliani was black?” His answer “Giuliani, man!” “What if Mickey Mouse was on the ballot and he was black and Dinkins was white who would get your vote?” His reply, “Mickey Mouse man!” Ethnicity and religious preferences are powerful lures for voters. David Dinkins passed away on November 23, 2020 at the age of 92.

NYU and . . . From its inception in 1831 New York University has been called NYU. However going back several decades it had been referred to by many as “NY Jew.” Due to the influx of many Asians NYU is more often referred to as “NY Chu” such humorous

50 monikers are not intended to be prejudicial. If you walk around , the centerpiece of NYU’s unofficial campus, you’ll notice an enormous diversity representing all races, nationalities and religions. In my opinion it’s the best place to prepare scholars for life’s journey.

The Amiable Child Monument The Amiable Child Monument is located in Riverside Park, north of 122nd Street on the west side of southbound traffic about a 200- foot walk north of Grant’s Tomb. The memorial is located where a five-year-old boy, St. Clair Pollack, fell off a cliff on July 15, 1797. The stone monument reads: “He fell off a cliff a few steps from Hudson River.” His father owned the property and the city granted permission to inter his son near the location of his tragic death. It is believed to be the only approved cemetery of one on private property, transferred to The City of New York years after the tragedy. Few New Yorkers are aware of this unique artifact created over 200 years ago. It’s a captivating site and worth a visit. If you drive just pull over on the south bound lanes and you’ll see it

51 approximately 100 yards north of Grant’s Tomb.

What? Speak up! I can’t hear you! Have you ever heard that obnoxious repetitive series of unbearable noises reminiscent of the 1970’s and ‘80’s when car alarms triggered intolerable, repetitious loud noises? As you may recall they sounded something like this: hee-haw hee-haw wee wee wee zoom zoom zoom, etc. over and over again. The good news is that rarely happens now. But unfortunately, there are a few who drive ancient hulks of garbage and their alarms are in better working order then the cars they’re trying to protect. Why would a self-respected car thief steal an old car? So, who needs them? Those who still use them for 1991 Chevy’s a schmucks, pure and simple. I live in a building in Manhattan with about 400 condos. There are four sister buildings that face each other totaling 400 condos facing the parking lots. Toss in fire trucks, police cars, ambulances, motorcycles, gas powered leaf blowers, jackhammers, garbage trucks and low flying ‘choppers. “Peace and quiet” an ancient expression is not coming back around here anytime soon. Silence is one thing the Lenape

52 Indians had over us! WHAT? WHAT? can’t hear you, L

NYC goes “Alabami Bound” Choo-choo! Chugga chug, chugga chuga! A train from The Big Apple pulled into a station in Alabama on April 20, 2018. It contained a trainload of human poop weighing 10 million pounds! The train carrying the cargo got stuck in Parrish, Alabama. Several months thereafter the cargo was transported to its proper destination, Big Sky Environmental Landfill, located adjacent to a little league baseball field. As a result the season was put on hold, just like the train. Alabama has been called “America’s largest industrial pay toilet.” I couldn’t help thinking about the lyrics of a song sung by Bobby Darin many years ago. May I share it with you? It compliments the event. ***** “I'm Alabamy bound. There'll be no heebie- jeebies hangin' 'round. Just give the meanest ticket man on earth, all I'm worth to put my tootsies in an upper berth. Just hear that choo-choo sound. It means that pretty soon we'll “cover ground.” (Those two lines apply best to the

53 story! There must have been a “run” on nose clips, ya think?) And then I'll holler so the world will know, “here I go” I'm Alabamy bound.”

“Sneak a peak!” “23 skidoo!” Have you heard that expression before? It was the mantra of the police while patrolling Madison Square Park as the neared completion in 1902. Police chased men seated on park benches across the street from “The Flatiron.” They waited for the propitious moment for wind gusts to raise ladies dresses. Due to the triangular shape of the Flatiron Building and the wide width of 23rd Street wind drafts bellowed across 23rd Street. Men enjoyed sneaking a peak of rising dresses exposing lady’s legs to heights never before seen in public! “Timing is everything” and Thomas A. Edison the inventor moving pictures at that time. In those days movies were known as “actualities” the word movie hadn’t been conceived yet. On August 21, 1901 an actuality was filmed in front of the Flatiron, the first commercialized moving image became a sensation titled “It Happened on 23rd Street.”* In those days men were unable to sneak a peek above ladies

54 ankles due to fashion and prudishness such garments nearly touched the ground. An “actuality” was a minute or two in length attracting throngs of men and boys who stood on line waiting to get into an “actuality studio.” Private booths were provided to view the action; the precursor of Times Square “peep shows” was born. If a fifteen-year-old boy watched an actuality in 1902 he could have seen Deep Throat on its opening day on June 2, 1971 at the age of 85, born in 1886. I certainly hope so! Humm . . . on second thought, it could have been fatal. Google or YouTube “It happened on 23rd Street” or “Edison Actuality” and watch the show.”

Playground signs Times change and signs do too. I case in point. I recall many years ago children’s playground signs warned: No Child Admitted without an adult. Playground signs today warn: “No Adult Admitted without a Child.”

“The City” “Let’s go to the city!” a friend asked a friend both from Brooklyn. “What? I’m in the city!” ‘Huh?”

55 I could understand if someone said, “Let’s go the city” if they lived in Westchester, Nassau County or New Jersey. It never made any sense to me if you lived in one of the four outer boroughs of New York City because, whether it’s Brooklyn, The Bronx, and Staten Island, they’re in the city! Duh! In New York City “the city” to nearly all residents is Manhattan. It’s an expression that has been in use for many years and that it’ll ever change.

“Kids Say The ‘Darndest’ Things” If you are old enough perhaps you remember Art Linkletter, a popular TV personality during the 1950’s and 1960’s. He hosted two daytime TV shows, “Kids Say The “Darndest” Things” and “People Are Funny.” I accompanied my granddaughter Eliza and her friend to Central Park to spend some time at their favorite playground. They were four years old at the time. While playing with her friend who asked, “Who’s that man?” referring to me. Her reply, “He used to be my mother’s father!” ***** Eliza is 15 years old now and she’s attending high school. She told me she had just received her report card. I asked her, “How’d you do?”

56 “My grade point average is 98. I was so impressed and I extended my congrats and added, “The only 98 I received when I was your age was my temperature! At times, I got a 100!” Texas vs. NYC New York City is so densely populated and Texas is so big that, if Texas were as densely populated as New York City there would be enough space to house every person on earth.

Right Track & Right Price The New York City subway was designed to accelerate the growth of the city in two ways. Our subway was the first to introduce one-fare system regardless of distance traveled. Another innovative concept was express tracks in order for trains to skip stations shortening the duration of their trips. One fare, regardless of the distance of your trip encouraged many to move to further distances from Manhattan, where they worked, in most cases. Those who wanted more space at affordable prices were available satisfy their wants at distances further away from Manhattan. The nickel fare remained in effect until 1948, a 44-year run! Whether you live one stop from

57 work or at the last stop your nickel token got you there! Express tracks shortened the duration of the ride. Local tracks stop at every station delay the duration of the trip. Express tracks bypass most stations saving commuters a substantial amount of time. The distance between home and a job was measured in time not distance. Those two ideas, express tracks and one-fare was a first a New York innovation. New York City consisted of Manhattan only until the stroke of midnight on January 1st 1898 due to the passage of a referendum in four outer boroughs; The Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island voted to join Manhattan becoming a part of “The City of New York.” in name only. The subway and those innovations brought us together. Oh yes, I almost forgot about another innovation: Twenty-four hour service was a major factor as well.

“Sonny! Vere’s da baby?” When is the last time you saw a baby in an unattended carriage parked in front of a department store? That custom has faded into the history. Today would be outrageous; you’d be arrested for child abandonment.

58 Sonny Deutsch drove to a department store located in The Bronx with her baby, Robin a distance of approximately ten miles. She parked her car and left Robin in her carriage in front of the department store leaving her child unattended while she was shopping! Huh? After she completed her shopping, with purchases in hand, she returned to her car and drove home leaving Robin behind. She entered her house and her mother greeted her at the door and with both arms raised she shrieked in disbelief. “Sonny! ‘Vere’s’ da baby?” Screaming and rambling at the top of her lungs Sonny jumped into her car and sped off to The Bronx. When she arrived Robin was screaming and crying with a wet face and a runny nose. She was held in the arms of a woman who was trying to calm her down. Sonny, in tears, grabbed her and thanked the woman profusely. The incident occurred in the early ‘50’s not an uncommon occurrence at that time. Imagine if upon her return if she found an empty carriage?

Park your money For those who live in Manhattan and wish to own a car they’d better have a parking plan.

59 Street parking is not an option due to “alternate side of the street parking” where cars must be moved biweekly. All cars must be moved to the opposite side of the street to comply with the weekly cycles. The pursuit of a spot is a hellish game of chance and that insanity would make you wish you never bought the headache on wheels. According to my research the cost of monthly parking in a lot in Manhattan neighborhoods is as high as $1,200 per month plus a parking tax of 18.375%, that’s probably comparable to the monthly car payment. Best is to buy a coop or condo that provides free or a nominal fee for underground parking in the building’s basement or in a lot in the back of the building, very rare in Manhattan. Some banks may lend money to purchase a spot. Buying a spot is a no brainer especially, if the buyer has the right to rent or sell the spot. Buying a spot may be a good investment, a good place to “park” some money. your children’s tuition. Eh, not bad!

One step at a time Most prefer elevators others take the stairs. The Empire State Building’s annual “Run-up.” The annual event began in 1978; a race to the

60 68th floor, a quarter mile run-up consisted of 1,576 steps. Thorbjorn Ludvigsen, a Norwegian, holds the men’s record at ten minutes and six seconds, Suzy Walsham, and Australian, a five-time winner, holds the ladies title of eleven minutes and fifty-seven seconds. It’s impressive that a woman won the “run up” who’s from “down under.”

“Blood Alley” The United Nations headquarters was built on land that had been known as “Blood Alley” formally the location of slaughterhouses. William Zeckendor, Sr. sold the property to the United Nations Organization. Years before, in the 1930’s, he decided to hire his nephew, William Zeckendorf, Jr. that launched his real estate career. His uncle sailed to Europe leaving William with the responsibility leasing all the office space in a building. Upon his return, William, Sr. was disappointed with William Jr.’s results because he had succeeded to rent every office but one. He reamed out his nephew triggering William, Jr. to tell his uncle to “stick it.” That set him off on his own path. He and his descendants and their descendants built a vast real estate

61 empire exceeding four million square feet of space in Manhattan. Quite often there comes a time when younger generation family members decide to “go off on their own.” Take my word for it, I decided to that that route and it was a life changer, for me it was a happy ending.

Brigitte Gerney On a beautiful June day in 1985 Brigitte Gerney took a stroll down Second Avenue and when she passed a construction site a huge crane collapsed crushing her legs. Miraculously she was rescued and survived! If you’re a victim of an accident, the best place to be is New York City, known for rapid rescue responses performed by expert first responders. It’s a horrifically tragic story. The City enacted pedestrian safety laws tightening up enforcement of the codes designed to prevent similar tragedies. She received $10 million from the city and hopefully it provided security, excellent care and opportunities for her to make her life the best of a terrible situation. She passed away in 2011, 26 years after the accident. She passed away from unrelated causes.

62 Not Guilty My phone rang I answered it. “Custom & Private can I help you?” “What do you do?” the woman caller asked with a tone of anguish. “Why would you call if you don’t know what we do?” I asked. “I was reviewing my husband’s American Express statement and I noticed a charge of $1,200 and the provider was Custom and Private. What do you do?” she asked. “Ha! We do not provide what you may be suspecting. Have you been to New York City recently? Have you booked a private tour?” “Oh, dear God! Is this Cliff?” “Yes, that’s me!” “You made my day.” “And you made mine too!” We both had a hardy laugh and I was so glad that I was able to put the matter “to bed” no pun intended.

“Can I ask a stupid question?” While engaged in a very important business meeting with my lawyer, my partner and his lawyer. During our negotiations we were putting on the final touches of a business agreement my partner asked the lawyers:

63 “Can I ask a stupid question?” I jumped in and said, “ I’m sure you can!” We roared with laughter it certainly was a very common question. I couldn’t help myself!

Katz Deli “Katz That’s all,” the sign says in front of the world’s most famous deli featuring Jewish style specialties. Could it be, due to a folklore myth, that the sign installed over 135 years ago was created as a result of this brief exchange? “Vat do you vant it to say?” asked the sign maker. “I vant it to say Katz!” replied Mr. Katz. “That’s all?” “Yeah”

Alphabet City Alphabet City is a neighborhood east of Greenwich Village. I acquired a very bad reputation as a neighborhood riddled with crime out of control drug use. Smart New Yorkers avoided that area for years. It became known as Alphabet City due to the names of the avenues, they are Avenue A, B, C and D the only streets in Manhattan named with one letter. I wondered why those streets were named that in the first place until I finally

64 figured it out. Assault, Battery, Coma, Death! Could be, eh? Nah!

Baruch College I’ve walked past Baruch College many times. Occasionally I’ve asked random students the same question. “Excuse me. Do you know who Baruch is or was?” Not one student knew the answer. It’s one of the finest universities in the New York City system. and I’m a bit puzzled that students who “made the grade” to gain admission have such lack of curiosity about the world around them. Wouldn’t you want to know who the person was who your college was name after? I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if students attending Harvard, Cornel or Yale were named after their founders and many students who attend those schools don’t know the roots of their colleges namesakes. Incredible! ***** In case you’re interested, Bernard M. Baruch (1870-1965) was a wealthy and prominent investor and a statesman, philanthropist and advisor to presidents, particularly Wilson and FDR. Baruch College has one of the most diverse student bodies in the country

65 collectively that speaks, collectively of course, over one hundred languages.

The Brooklyn Bridge, huh? As construction neared completion “The “Great Bridge” remained nameless! Completed in 1883 Brooklyn, at that time, and the outer boroughs were of their own. At that time New York City consisted of Manhattan. The City of Brooklyn and The City of New York couldn’t agree for a name of the bridge! The New York committee suggested that a meeting should be held to resolve the issue. The Brooklyn committee agreed and their committee crossed the East River, via the ferry. How else? “We’ve come up with a name for the bridge and we’re sure you’re going to love it!” suggested the New York committee. “Okay let’s hear it!” replied Brooklyn’s committee. “We propose that the bridge’s name should be The Brooklyn Bridge!” “What? Seriously? Are you kidding? Why would you want to do that?” The Brooklyn representatives were dumbfounded.

66 “Don’t be flattered. We’re just suggesting it because if the bridge collapses we don’t want our name on it!”

Off the Wall The original Palm restaurant was located at 837 2nd Avenue. Its walls were adorned with hand painted caricatures of their most favored regulars. They were painted over the years and there was till some spaces available to welcome a few new attendees. The doors were opened in 1926 and nothing has changed except the prices and the staff. The doors closed forever in 2015 due to the third generation of the founders John Ganzi and Bruce Pio Bozzi decided to sell the property for $6,000,000. What a shame, it was a classic. In the early ‘80’s my business partner and I enjoyed an extravagant lunch there every Friday. As frequent customers of Palm managers offered us the opportunity to have our caricatures painted on the wall. That was a “right of passage” kind of thing, bragging rights, something to shout out. I loved the idea however; my partner was one step ahead of me. “Cliff! Our landlord eats here and if he sees our caricatures on the wall you can be sure there’ll

67 be a huge increase in our rent! I was so glad we were “off the wall!” **** How did the name Palm arise? When the founders were processed through Ellis Island an immigration officer asked them where they were born. Their answer was Palma. The immigration officer wrote Palm as their place of origin on their immigration papers. As a side story, though relevant, the source of the deprecating word “Wop” originated at Ellis Island. The officers at Ellis Island wrote WOP in chalk on Italian immigrant’s clothing as they were processed meaning, With Out Papers. What I don’t understand is why it seemed to have been written on Italian’s only, thus that deprecating moniker? “Wop”

The gas king There’s a witty ditty about the huge mural behind the King Cole bar at The St. Regis Hotel. It’s another New York secret and I’ll let you in on it. The king’s court consisted of Knights, Jacks and Jesters who surrounded the king’s throne with their twisted faces. They were shielding their noses and none of them were facing the king. With smirks and frowning expressions the evidence was clear, clearer then the air.

68 The king’s generous proclivity for discharging bursts of royal flatulence should have been taken up with the chef. “Drink up and go to your room your majesty or better yet; go to your room and then drink up!”

Voyages to Hell On April 10th 1912 The Titanic “the unsinkable” departed from South Hampton, England launching its maiden voyage bound for pier 54 on the Hudson River. Few ships have accomplished wrapping up their first and last voyages simultaneously. “Unimpressive, I dare say, sir!” That hapless maneuver resulted in the tragic loss of 1,500 lives. Cunard asserted that the ship was unsinkable. Most unfortunately it was not. Confidence is a good thing however; it’s always best to make such decisions on the side of safety based on scientific evidence. As a gesture Cunard offered the survivors the opportunity to return to English on the Lusitania if they were willing to wait three years or so. Not true just a thought although surely them must have been a few unfortunates who did take that trip, it’s possible. *****

69 Three years and one month after the Titanic’s dive, the Lusitania departed from pier 54 in New York City bound for Liverpool with 1,900 passengers and crew on board. This time 1,100 lives were lost due to another dose of Cunard’s arrogance. German U-boats patrolling the southern coast of Ireland launched three torpedoes taking the ship down in eighteen minutes. Cunard took an outrageous risk knowing an existential threat was within the realm of probability. The Germans issued warnings knowing that tons of armaments were on board. I can imagine the highest authorities at Cunard saying, “Carry on chaps! We’re being well paid and we need the arms gents!” No doubt Sir Winston was delighted that the liner took the dive. It assured America’s entry into the war. Twenty-six years later Churchill was thrilled again as news of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor assured America’s declaration of war against the Axis powers. In conclusion, what really saved the Brits was their good fortune to loose The American Revolutionary War.

“The Beautiful Suicide” On May 1, 1947 Evelyn McHale, age 23 took a dive off of the observation deck of The Empire

70 State Building. She landed face up on the roof of a limousine. At that moment a photojournalist was in the immediate area. He snapped a timeless photo of her face up on the roof of the limo, appearing to be sleeping. Due to a change of heart she wanted to get out of an engagement to marry a man whose ring she had accepted. Rather then cancel the engagement she decided that taking the leap would be her best choice. Imagine how her fiancée must have felt when he received the news of her death. Io avoid a life with her fiancée he must have been as shattered as she, but only emotionally not literally like she. ***** Several clips can be found on YouTube dramatizing the tragic event. Search “The beautiful suicide; the Empire State Building.” So sad, a life lost that never should have happened. Perhaps an hour with a good “shrink” could have saved her.

Hanging Out The , located on the NE corner of John Street and Broadway, was erected in 1888 consisting of thirteen floors, 20’ wide and 162’ long. It was the tallest building in the immediate area however; due to its impressive height of

71 135 feet and its extremely narrow stance it was very difficult for Mr. Corbin to attract tenants due to their fears that the building was unstable. To eradicate such fears Corbin had his wrists securely cuffed around something solid at the top floor during a windstorm to demonstrate the building’s strong and steady stance. Wind gusts caused a great sensation as he was blown in a horizontal position parallel with the street below. The stunt generated substantial attention enhancing public confidence in the building’s structural integrity. In no time, the building became fully occupied. It’s still standing however over time it became one of the shortest buildings in the area. If Mr. Corbin had not decided to “hang out” the building would have been a financial disaster.

He “nailed” it! In the 1980’s Ben Lang worked for my father as a manager of a little retail film and developing store located on the second floor of a small building on 43rd Street off . Mr. Lang was obsessed with his fingernails. He constantly trimmed and polishing them with clear shiny nail polish.

72 The store had a large picture window facing the street. An air-conditioner had been installed below the window. After applying his nail polish Ben raised his hands, palms up, captured forced air that blew out of the air- conditioner to dry his precious nails. On one occasion while drying his nails a woman who happened to be passing by on the sidewalk saw him drying his freshly polished nails. She assumed his hands were raised due to a robbery in progress and she stopped a police officer. “Quick! Look at that guy up there. There’s a hold up in progress!” she told the officer. With his gun drawn the cop dashed up the stairs, convinced that Ben was the victim of a holdup. Fortunately, that was not the case. I knew him well and always got a “kick” out of him!

Zip Code Trivia What’s your zip code? A zip code could be assigned to an entire town, a small county, a portion of your town or city or just one city block with high density. But there’s one option I’ve omitted. Guess? No ideas . . . hum! Time’s up! Forty-two buildings in Manhattan have their own zip codes. One building would be about

73 the easiest route on earth but without the benefit of exercise that postal routes provide. TriBeca is a Manhattan neighborhood named with a geographic reference, triangle below canal, as in Canal Street. It’s the wealthiest zip code in the United States, 10013. Perhaps that’s true because homes owned by Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake, Meg Ryan, Jennifer Lawrence and Steven Spielberg, Jessica Biel, Robert DeNiro’s hotel, restaurant and The Tribeca Film Festival. The wealthiest part of Beverly Hills, CA zip code 90210 with homes averaging over $4 million, not that big a deal in today’s luxury market, is a distant second place.

The Malbone Death Express The most tragic train crash in American history was the “Malbone Street Wreck.” The disaster occurred on November 1, 1918. A five car wooden BRT, Brooklyn Rapid Transit subway train was conducted by a dispatcher who had no experience conducting trains. Anthony Lewis, a 29-year-old dispatcher, was chosen to take “the hot seat” due to a subway strike. Several hours of instruction were provided the day before the tragedy. Subsequently, he was considered qualified to conduct a subway train through the sharpest

74 curve in the entire system. Huh? He was at the helm of the worst American train wreck in history! Signs were posted alerting conductors before entering the tunnel known to be the subway’s most hazardous curve. The sign read: “Reduce speed to Maximum Authorized Speed six miles per hour.” The train careened around the curve at thirty to forty miles per hour. At such rates of speed it was impossible to see the warning signs. He was told about that tunnel when he received the training. Rescue efforts were another disaster. Of the 650 passengers on board ninety-three were killed and many more were critically injured. It’s the stupidest disregard for life that I know of due to incompetence in New York City. What I cannot understand is since it was a very challenging route why didn’t the powers that be provided a seasoned subway conductor to drive that route and provide Mr. Lewis with a straight and simple route instead.

Milton Glazer Milton Glazer created the “I (heart) New York” promotional logo. He expected the “I Love New York” campaign promoting New York tourism would last a couple of months and would quickly fade into history.

75 His work was pro bono promoting tourism in New York State and it morphed into an internationally known symbol for loving and visiting New York City. His creation appears on millions of T-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, mugs, shot glasses, key chains, bracelets, etc. The original sketch was donated to The . He never anticipated the massive amount of income it could have derived if only he had registered himself as the owner of the trademark. Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, creators of Superman in 1932, during the Great Depression, sold the exclusive rights to DC (Dell) Comics for $35.

Elevator Tragedies On August 22, 2019 Samuel C. Waisbren, age thirty, stepped out of his apartment and boarded an elevator. Rather then exiting the elevator he was literally cut in two while attempting to step out of the elevator that had suddenly started to move. The tragic incident occurred in a 23- story luxury residential building in the Murray Hill section of Manhattan. Numerous tenants had complained many times to the building’s management. The elevator had a history of

76 frequent stops between floors not the only time that had happened. Mr. Waisbren was a mid-westerner decided to settle in New York City to carve out his life in a new and exciting environment. He was struck down due to building mismanagement and city inspectors who failed to do the job they were paid to do. No doubt management was asleep at the switch. The result, another example of “kicking the can down the road.” ***** Susan Hart, age 41 was employed by Young and Rubicam one of the most prestigious advertising agencies in the world. On February 27, 2012 she stepped into an elevator in the lobby and the elevator suddenly lurched, as she was about to enter the elevator. The elevator started to rise up dragging and pinning her between the elevator floor and ceiling between the first floor and second floors as the elevator began moving up. Despite and army of city inspections and protests by building tenants, the problem had not been adequately addressed. So sad that another life has been needlessly lost.

77 “COD, Dept. of Consumer Affairs” Many years ago a scam artist entered my photo store and announced, “COD, Dept. of Consumer Affairs, $55.00, I’m double-parked!” He nervously waited for payment as my clerk opened the register drawer and removed the money he requested. She accepted the sealed FedEx envelope and he dashed out the door. When I arrived at the store she handed me the FedEx envelope and told me she had removed $55 from the register to pay the bogus fee. As soon as I looked at the Fedx envelope I knew it was a scam. My fears were confirmed when I saw the contents, newspapers. ***** Rip-offs have become more sophisticated applying incessant “robo” phone calls the current means of deceit and intrusion. Hum? Why hasn’t our government taken action to prevent such invasions disrupting our lives and pockets? Recently, I conducted a tour for a couple from Germany and I raised the subject. I asked them if the same telemarketing schemes exist in Germany. They told me there are no such calls due to a €100,000 fine for convicted offenders. My conclusion, generally The United States government is too corrupt and or

78 dysfunctional to pass such a law. Can you think of a more sensible reason?

“One block to P” While my wife was “wrapping up” a brief phone conversation with her uncle Bernie she asked me to say hello. He’s an elderly man living in Brooklyn and he and his wife had recently moved from Avenue N to Avenue O. “Sure, I’d love to have a quick chat with Bernie!” Aline passed me the phone. “Hey Bernie how are you? I understand you and Harriet moved to an apartment on Avenue O. How come? You didn’t like living on Avenue M?” “ Not as much as I love living on Avenue O.” “What do you love about Avenue O?” I asked. His response: “I only have to walk one block to P.”

Smallest Property in Manhattan Directly in front of The Village Cigar Store, located at the intersection of 7th Avenue South and Christopher Street there is a triangular sign imbedded in the sidewalk. “Property of the Hess Estate which has never been dedicated for public purposes.” When a subway line was built beneath 7th Ave South in 1910 the city demolished 300

79 buildings to widen the street. It’s the smallest piece of private property in Manhattan. A family member required a sign to be imbedding in the sidewalk. Perhaps name and cause will remain in concrete indefinitely.

Built on lies My late stepfather, Lou and his brother inherited their father’s cash register business located at the corner of Broome and Bowery Street a few blocks from Chinatown and Little Italy. Lou told me his business was “Built on lies?” He explained, “For example, in our store’s showroom one register always had a red tag attached, SOLD.” “Why is it sold?” countless customers asked. “It’s got all the latest bells and whistles.” Lou responded. “We sold a ton of them. People want what they can’t have; it’s human nature.” “Sorry to say we’re out of stock at the moment.” Lou told his customers. “Can you order one for me?” Lou would always ask his brother. “Hey Sam! Call NCR and ask Tommy when we can get another model 52.” Sam pretended to be dialing the phone number, waiting, then . . .

80 “Tommy its Sam from Economy Register. I need a 52 fast!” After waiting a brief moment he created the fiction with small talking into the phone without a listener. “Thanks Tommy you’re the best!” “Lou, we’ll have it by noon tomorrow.” The red-tagged register on the showroom shelf was carried out of the store, paid for in full by an anxious customer. As soon as the customer’s car sped away another model 52 was brought upstairs from the basement warehouse. It was placed on the showroom shelf filling the vacant spot where the other register was before it went out the door. This “bill of fare” was a sensational idea often occurring several times a day! It wasn’t a scam because no one was cheated. Every customer walked out with a terrific register and at a very good price. It was shrewd salesmanship, that’s all it was! There were numerous other “tricks of the trade” that they borrowed and others they invented and perfected. That’s something Harvard and Wharton don’t teach. Over time, homegrown ideas build successful businesses and often are passed from generation to another.

81 Good News & Bad News As reported in one of the tabloid newspapers several weeks after 911 it had been reported that a married man had failed to show up at his office in the North World Trade Tower on the morning of September 11, 2001. It was a newsworthy event because he was caught with his pants down, literally. Instead of going to his office he was cavorting with a woman in a motel room on Route 3 in New Jersey. His wife was tried desperately to reach him without success. No doubt she had feared the worst. With her eyes glued to her television she tried desperately to reach him. He always answered his office phone that time of day. She couldn’t reach him on his clamshell cell phone. Fortunately she succeeded to reach him and her discovery was a major conundrum. Specific details of the conversation have never been revealed publically. However this incident is the best example of good news and bad news. The effect on their marriage was never revealed to the public.

It’s a “pour” thing El Quixote was a very popular restaurant featuring excellent Spanish specialties. It was located in the landmark Chelsea Hotel the

82 home, at one time, to Mark Twain, Tina Turner, Lady Gaga, Allen Ginsberg, Arthur Miller, Sid Vicious, Jane Fonda, Dylan Thomas and countless other well known movers and shakers. The restaurant imposed an inexplicable rule: “No hats except religious hats!” Despite that, I came dressed as Jamaican Bob- Sled Olympia wearing a Rastafarian hat. I hosted a Halloween party there for my employees and after a round of drinks the manager told me, “If you wear a hat at the party you will not be served!” “Hey, this is a Halloween party and the hat is part of my costume! I made that clear when I booked the room for the party.” I reminded the manager. “No exceptions, no discussion.” He replied. I told my group, “let’s 86 the joint” and we all spit. “What about your tab?” asked the restaurant manager. My reply, “Put it on my tab!” He made no effort to collect the money. We were hysterical as we all streamed out the door. We took a short walk to McQuaid’s Pub laughing all the way. I tipped the bartender

83 $100 in advance and we ordered Chinese food to be delivered to the pub, very unusual. We had a private room and it was a blast. Usually, patrons leave tips for bartenders when they leave. I believe, with such a large group, it’s best to provide a tip in advance, because “it’s a pour thing”

McSorley’s is Sorely Wrong! What’s the oldest “watering hole” in Manhattan? If you don’t know what a watering hole is then go to your room. By vast proclamation, McSorley’s Ale House, located at 15 East 7th Street in the East Village is widely believed to be the oldest. It’s not! Why do so many people believe that it is? Perhaps it’s the old Irish ambiance. Who knows? McSorley’s opened for business in 1854. The following four bars opened before McSorley’s poured their first drink. 1. Fraunces Tavern, located at 54 Pearl St. where Washington tipped his elbow opened for business in 1762. It was originally known as Queen’s Head Tavern named after England’s Queen Charlotte. It is the oldest watering hole in New York City and has been in business for 259 years! 2. Bridge Café is adjacent to The Brooklyn Bridge’s south ramp and can be seen from the

84 right side Brooklyn bound lane. Its doors swung open in 1794 located at the NE corner of Frankfort and Gold Street. 3. Ear Inn is located at 326 Spring Street, located between Washington and Greenwich Street three blocks from the Hudson River. It opened for business in 1817. There’s a painted sign on the building, “Hudson River Water Line” confirming the volume of landfill made of dirt and trash that enlarged Manhattan enormously. Originally it was known as Bar Inn however the owners and regulars started promoting music publishing. One of the music devotees painted the fronts of the letter B black changing the B to an E transforming the name from Bar Inn into Ear Inn! Got it? 4. Pete’s Tavern, located at 129 East 18th Street on Irving Place, opened its doors in 1864. O’Henry wrote The Gift of the Magi in the second booth. Back to McSorley’s, the reviews on Google number 4,686 as of this writing. Their reviews average four and a half stars perhaps due to its old world ambiance and welcoming Irish warmth has made it such a shrine. Donald Trump is the only president since Lincoln who hasn’t bent an elbow there. I can’t blame him for that because the beer is

85 lousy and not nearly cold enough. It’s the only drink they serve. I’ll not drink to that! Hey, you can’t knock “success!”

“Holy” Pipes! Last year there were 459 water main breaks beneath the streets of the city. There are 7,000 miles of water mains, 97,607 miles of underground electric lines, 4,416 miles of gas mains, 104 miles of steam pipes providing heat and there are thousands of miles of telephone and TV Cable cables too. Subway tunnels serve 472 stations with 655 miles of track. A 60% percentage of the stations are underground. Generally, they operate 24 hours a day making New York City’s underground infrastructure a modern day marvel.

Smirnoff! Rumpelstiltskin’s was a Russian located in “Little Odessa” a Russian neighborhood known as Brighton Beach. Many years ago a terrific comedian, Yakov Smirnoff, appeared telling jokes mocking The Soviet Union.

86 Joke 1“In Soviet Union we have freedom of speech but we don’t have freedom after speech!” Joke 2 “Premier Khrushchev was having breakfast with President Kennedy. The waiter asked.” “Mr. President, what would you like for breakfast?” “I’ll have the western omelet,” “Mr. Secretary what would you like for breakfast?” “I’ll have the eastern half of Mr. President’s western. You’ll find Yakov Smirnoff on YouTube and he’s still preforming for live audiences.

How low can you go? Every now and then I see young black males wearing their trousers so low they seem to have won a “how low can you drop contest!” Recently, I saw a tall, thin teenage male rummaging through the trash in a subway trashcan with his pants bottomed out below his waist and below most of his rear-end. I’ve been told a number of times that the “style” of dropping pants to sub-levels is a statement of being tough because prison inmates are not permitted to have belts preventing them from hanging themselves.

87 Also, it could be a symbol of carrying metal, such as a gun in a pant’s pocket. Sociologists have touted low-level trousers as a statement of rejection of society’s norms and customs. It may seem awkward to many however, it sends a message to the rest of society. Criticism accomplishes nothing. Such cultural habits are harmless. Be tolerant, we live in a diverse society and we need to accept and respect such customs and traditions.

5 th Ave is for the birds Pale Male a red-tailed hawk, together with his mate Lola they built a nest on a window parapet outside a common hall window located at 927 Fifth Ave. He chose a nice sweet spot to build their nest on a small balcony. Ignoring the building’s property management company’s advice the co-op board decided to remove the nest. Mary Tyler Moore, a resident owner, advised that destroying the nest would create an uproar. She was so right. Protesters camped across the street holding signs taunting the locals. “Honk if you love “Lola and Pale Male.” “We’re strictly for the birds.” Constant horn honking drove the locals up a tree. Good advice for the hawks, “up a tree.”

88 Ultimately the building was forced to take action due to overwhelming public pressure. The building’s Board of Directors hired an architect, a lawyer and a building department expeditor to secure a nest permit, a first in Building Dept. history. The plans were submitted and approved to replace the nest with a man-made version. The price tag for the entire project exceeded $400,000 dollars! Incredible, Pale Male didn’t pay a dime to the building department. Pale Male and Lola were the only birds on the planet with privy on fabled 5th Ave. Lola gave birth to several baby hawks, known as eyas, and inevitably they relocated to a more welcome location. They kept it secret having learned from experience. Google , “New York Celebrities Evicted on Fifth Ave, Feathers and All.”

“The City that never sleeps!” I needed a new air conditioning system to be installed at one of my one-hour photo stores. It had to be hoisted on the roof of a one-story building and I decided not to go to the trouble and expense of acquiring a Building Department permit.

89 The unit was hoisted at four o’clock AM the best time to attempt to avoid detection. My store manager was “on site” overseeing the project to ensure that everything went as planned. Later that morning a suited gentleman entered my store and asked me if the owner or manager was available. “That depends who you are?” I responded with a bit of a sarcastic smirk. He flashed his City of New York Department of Building inspector badge. “I’m the owner. How can I help you?” He requested my ID, filled out a form and posted a notice on the wall. He warned me if any further activity transpired regarding the installation that air-conditioning unit, without the required permits, it could result in my arrest. Yikes! I contacted an architect to prepare and submitted all the documents needed to secure the permit. It amazed me that a city with nearly 1,000,000 buildings succeeds to keep such a close eye on what was going on. So, where were the inspectors who had failed to inspect The Happy Land premises? It was my last attempt to bypass the system. Here’s to “The city that never sleeps!”

90 P.S. There’s another possibility. Perhaps the crane provider that lifted the a/c unit was compelled to tip off the city. Yeah, that’s got be how the city found out. Hum, live and learn.

“The George” On June 29, 1928 The Goethals Bridge and The Outerbridge Crossing opened for business. They were the first bridges that connected New York and New Jersey. The Outerbridge is the outermost crossing geographically from New York City connecting New York and New Jersey. The name, Outerbridge has nothing to do with its out of the way location. It is named after Eugenius H. Outerbridge, the first chairman of The Port of New York and New Jersey Authority. Amazing! Who would have thought that the Outerbridge Crossing was named after a guy named Outerbridge? The Holland tunnel was named after Clifford B. Holland that makes sense. The George Washington Bridge aka the GW Bridge, The GW, The GWB or The George are additional colloquial names that are still in use. The George opened on October 25, 1931 and on that day 56,312 vehicles traversed the bridge and over 100,000 pedestrians took a walk across. Today’s daily vehicular average is

91 300,000 vehicles. “The George” is the world’s busiest bridge. Originally, the toll was 50 cents, each way. Today the toll is $15 to New York and free to New Jersey. Who’d pay $15 to go to New Jersey? I haven’t got a clue but, perhaps that’s why the toll is taken for vehicles going to New York, only! The $59 million cost to build it paid off nicely. A lower deck was added in the early ‘60’s at a cost of $183,000,000. Two other bridges connect the two states, Bayonne Bridge and The Goethals Bridge. There are over 2,000 bridges in New York City serving pedestrian and vehicular traffic!

Wrong way to get screwed In 1981 The Helmsley Palace opened for business not to be confused with The Palace, a flophouse, a place for winos and homeless people in need a bed on Bowery Street. It would set you back, at that time, about $1.75 per night. When The Helmsley Palace, a five star hotel, opened for business free telephone information service known as 411 was in use. “Information may I help you?” “Yes, may I have the number for The Palace in New York City?” “Surely, one moment please!”

92 “Please make a note of it 212-123-4569” After dialing: “Hello, is this the Palace?” “Yes, how can I help you?” “How much is the cost of a deluxe room?” “That would be 175 a night.” “Thank you, I’ll get back to you.” No doubt, some well-intended husbands or boyfriends sought to impress their favored ladies and got screwed, not the way they had anticipated.

The Urban’s Urban Smarts! Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban demonstrated their urban prowess by purchasing a condo that included a parking spot located in the hall a few steps from the entrance to their condo. Upon their arrival home they’d drive directly into the building’s car elevator and drive out when then floor was reached and they parked directly in front of their condo. No parking tickets for Nicole and Keith! What else would you expect from a couple named Urban? Such parking spots are known as “en suite garage” with his en suite wife.

93 Rise above and work around it Thousands of people walk past The Hearst Building located on 9th Avenue between 56th and 57th Streets. Only a few of those passing by are curious as to why a uniquely shaped structure consisted of two buildings that were built seventy years apart. It doesn’t surprise me; because New Yorkers are always in a hurry and tend not to notice such oddities due to our blasé culture; we’re in too much of a hurry. That why it’s called it a “New York Minute!” The original Hearst Building was completed in 1928, a five-story structure. In the early 1960’s the city granted it landmark status, “the kiss of death.” As a result, the building’s façade* could not be destroyed or altered due to its artistic and historic value. Such status forbids replacing the existing building or altering it appearance is a “no no.” Along came Norman Foster, an English architect who came up with a plan, a 46-story tower that did not alter the façade of the original building. It’s a very odd structure and quite remarkable. It’s the best example of an expression suggestion the best way to solve problems: “Rise above it, work around it!”

94 *The tail on the letter c in façade exists to denote the pronunciation as if it were an s.

Pocket Parks Directly across the street from The Old and New Hearst building is a “pocket park” approximately 150 x 100 feet. The third and fourth generation of the Rudin family, major real estate players in Manhattan, cut a deal with the city. Rather then use the entire portion of their property to construct a high- rise residential building they negotiated with the city. The Rudin’s provided space for a “pocket park” for public benefit and in return, the city granted them the right to construct their residential rental building substantially higher more then making up for the loss of their building footprint. The higher the floor, the higher the rent. Ka-Ching! That concept is a New York creation, a quid pro quo, providing enormous benefits by transforming crowded urban environments into user-friendly habitats. To sum it up, it’s “a home run out of the ‘pocket’ park!”

Yogi says it all! Yogi is the eternal master of the art of creating expressions that seem to make no sense. However they actually do in an obtuse and

95 humorous way. They’re eternally amusing and are worthy words of wisdom! His jocular statements will be quoted for generations. Please, enjoy several of my favorites including my interpretations in the script font.

“It ain’t over ‘till it’s over.” Translation: Never give up! “Always go to other people’s funerals otherwise they won’t attend yours.” Translation: If you don’t attend, then the surviving family will not attend yours. “When you reach a fork in the road take it!” Translation: Make a decision! Don’t’ just stand there, make a decision. “That restaurant is so busy nobody goes there anymore.” Translation: It’s time for owner to move the restaurant or expand the place in place!” “The future ain’t what it used to be.” Translation: At the rate things are going the difference between the present and “good old days” is accelerating, it’s a twinge of nostalgia. “You can observe a lot just by watching.” Translation: That’s true and needs no further explanation. “It’s déjà vu all over again.”

96 Translation: Haven’t you ever thought or felt that a prior experience is reoccurring, “I could swear that I’ve been there before?” "It’s getting earlier lately.” Translation: More elders start their days earlier then young people. “If people don’t want to come to the ball park you can’t stop ‘em.” Translation: True, pure and simple. “We made too many wrong mistakes.” Translation: Seems like to me it’s just poor grammar or emphasis is just for laughs. ***** When I relocated a one-hour photo store on West 23rd Street in the early 1990’s I took Yogi’s advice, “That restaurant is so busy nobody goes there anymore.” The store was too small to serve a growing clientele. As a result, I relocated the business up the block to provide sufficient space to accommodate the increase in business.. Thanks Yogi!

Done-away went That-away Fay Dunaway robbed banks in the movie “Bonnie and Clyde.” Fay was accused of “robbing” her landlord, well sort of. Manhattan Housing Court case No. 76667/11 filed by her

97 landlord alleged that she was in violation of the rent stabilization law. According to the law tenants must live in their rent-controlled home as their primary residence. Ms. Dunaway’s primary home was in California. She was registered to vote in California and her car was registered there as well. Fay was caught as a repeated violator of the rent control statute.” No doubt she was very disappointed however the ending was not nearly as bad as her demise in the movie.

Whatever will be will be Mr. Anthony D. Marshall attempted to alter his mother’s will. The heir got caught in the clutches of the law. His mother Brook Astor, heir of the Astor estate, paid $46 million for her mansion in the sky with maintenance tagged at $17,251 per month! It’s tragic when a “child” takes advantage of a parent especially if their parent is afflicted with Alzheimer’s. His scheme was to get his hands on millions of dollars by forging his mother’s signature. With the assistance of his attorney they had been bilking his mother for many years without hesitation. Anthony was sentenced to prison for only one to three years, due his age. However, the

98 statue indicated that such criminality was punishable for up to thirty years in prison. After spending several months in the clink he was granted a medical parole due to his failing health. He was sentenced to prison for stupidity and insatiable greed! :) What in the world was so bad about living in a sprawling Fifth Ave Mansion at no cost to him? What was he thinking? In sum, he was willing to change her will against her will and the court was unwilling to let him have his will prevail. J

Off (with) the Wall A very small hotel and bar-restaurant was located at 244 West 56th Street was owned and operated by a Mr. Joe G. He was a nice guy who got caught in the clutches of the big city. He owned a nice little piece of property on West 56th Street where he operated his hospitality business. I noticed something very unusual about his little hotel building. It was apparent that he had tried to add another floor. I was curious to know the story behind that partially constructed front wall on the roof. I stopped by and introduced myself to Joe.

99 “Hi Joe, I operate a tour business and I believe it may be of interest to my tour guests to hear the story about wall. Would you mind if I pass along the story? “Sure, no problem.” “Before the construction started I transferred my for a good sum of money to the owner of a “tear-down” building on the block. I attempted to add an additional floor as if I hadn’t transferred those air rights hoping the city wouldn’t notice. Well, they did notice and they pulled the plug.” Poor Joe! Caught in the crosshairs of a watchful Building Department inspector. “The City that never sleeps” has its eyes wide open and they often snag naughty boys and girls who try to get away with construction and renovation projects; such as hauling huge air-conditioning units on a roof. Terrible, terrible! I told him that story. We laughed and toasted to our learning experiences! When I told him that I had surmised that the city caught me because the contractor knew he had to “tip off” the city. If he had failed to do so he could have lost his license had he been caught. Joe agreed!

100 “Sew” What? While inching along his strenuous path searching for success in 1851 Isaac Merritt Singer a penniless, tenacious and brilliant inventor seized a terrific opportunity. He entered into an agreement with Mr. Edward Clark, a wealthy attorney and real estate investor who eagerly financed Singer’s patented sewing machine. In return he acquired 3/8th ownership of the patent rights of Singer’s Sewing machine making him a millionaire. The I. M. Singer & Co. trained an enormous team of salespeople all over the country providing demonstrations of Singer’s Sewing Machine to church groups, Masons, Government agencies, and other organizations as well. After witnessing an impressive demonstration many attendees signed on to make installment payments, an innovative concept in the late 19th century. The money poured in via mail. Mr. Clark built The Dakota, the definition of luxurious old world elegance, regarded as the first luxury apartment on earth It was designed by Henry Hardenberg who went on to design The Plaza. The Dakota was the home of countless the rich and famous such as: John Lennon, Yoko Ono,

101 Leonard Bernstein, Lauren Bacall, Judy Garland, Rosemary Clooney, Jose Ferrer, Roberta Flack, Joe Namath, Rudolf Nureyev, Jack Palance, Gilda Radner, Jason Robards and countless others. Why is the building known as “The Dakota?” According to legend, upon its completion in 1881 people commented due to nothing else in the area, except a young Central Park, people quipped: “They might as well have built it in The Dakotas!”

From Cash to Crash Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager broke the speed record of taking an idea to new heights never before conceived and in no time they took a detour straight to the “clink.” The duo created a destination for rich and famous who flew in from every corner on earth. opened its doors in 1974 and it quickly became the trendiest scene on earth for movers, shakers and wierdos. Luminaries such as Andy Warhol, Roy Cohn, Liza Minnelli, Cher, Elton John, Bianca Jagger, Sylvester Stallone, etc. etc. It was glamorous, extravagant and the place for naughty crowd smothered with excesses of drugs, sex swingers and outrageous madness. It was punctuated with extraordinary fixtures,

102 lighting, ear busting sound systems and over- the-top pizzazz. Rubell and Schrager made fatal mistakes leading them down the wrong path such as a stint in “the can.” I knew them in college, a pair of schmucks glued together. They were convicted of tax evasion, obstruction of justice and conspiracy for skimming cash, a lot. No doubt the fuzz got a piece of the action, hey why not? Everybody’s gotta eat, eh? The infamous McCarthy era attorney Roy Cohn was the consummate pro, pulling strings and ultimately he got them a “sweetheart deal.” The judge sentenced them from 1-3 years and $20,000 in fines, peanuts! They were released after serving less then a year due to their cooperation with the “feds” turning over the names of others who were members of the same league. What they had created was impressive but blowing it all revealed that too much fame and fortune could cause one to loose their mind, body, soul and life. They were drunk with success, a ubiquitous result of extremely impressive achievement. Currently Schrager builds hotels and luxury residential buildings worldwide. Steve died on

103 July 25, 1989 believed to have been HIV positive.

Central Park Rocks The concert broke all attendance records for all events ever held in Central Park. The Great Lawn was the site of the concert on September 19th 1981 with an estimated crowd of 500,000 in attendance. Clear skies and balmy weather contributed to the concert‘s spectacular success. Mayor Koch introduced the twosome, kicking off the event singing “Mrs. Robinson” featured in the movie “The Graduate.” According to Paul he and Art had quite a few contentious clashes during their rehearsals and the planning of the details. Their conflicts became so intense that they literally threatened to cancel the production, according to Paul. It’s hard for me to believe that the concert occurred forty years ago. Sha-whish!

Wet and Wild-ing As a contrast, The Diana Ross concert in Central Park, held on July 21, 1983, was a complete disaster. The temperature hit 95- degrees with high humidity and then the heavens opened up delivering a raging deluge dumping two inches of rain between 6:30 and

104 9PM. It became known as “the love shower!” Huh? Was that supposed to be a catchy PR gimmick? Diana continued her performance until it was cut short due to the imminent thunderstorm. The situation became very ugly as concertgoers or rather “concert leavers” were attacked and victimized by marauding gangs snatching gold necklaces, demanding cash creating fear and panic. Mayor Ed Koch persuaded Diana to provide funds to build a playground in Central Park. What a ridiculous gesture! The cost to restore the damage to the park was substantially greater than the cost of replacing a playground. It was “child’s play” nonsense on Koch’s part. The city should have required Diana to have a sufficient insurance policy. Why not? We’ll never know, was it a quid pro quo? What a stupid question. What’s the wind-up? Do not attend free concerts without checking the weather forecast; they’re not worth the money, ha!

Having a (B & W) Ball Truman Capote defined the 1966 “Black & White Ball” as a “gift to myself.” Capote, an incredible self-promoter held the affair at The Palm Court at The . Katherine

105 Graham, owner and publisher of The Washington Post was the guest of honor. Held in the city’s “last decent ballroom” a 540- guest list of “all the people you knew who didn’t know you.” Sinatra called the “shots” and served them too. The “chosen ones” were seated front and center of the stage. His wife, Mia Farrow danced the night away while her hubby poured Wild Turkey and Jack Daniels generously with the help of a waiter who schlept the tea wagon laden with booze. At 2:45 AM Sinatra was the first to leave. Despite the whimpers of the host knowing that Sinatra’s departure was a signal that the party was about to end. Ol’ blue eyes’ next stop, Jilly’s, his favorite watering hole located at 256 West 52nd St. Bottoms up “Jack” you “Wild Turkey!”

“The Preppy Murder” “Dorrian’s Red Hand, an eastside bar, pours drinks despite its infamous reputation of serving drinks to below age drinkers. In 1986 the legal drinking age was 18! They poured for 17 year olds and perhaps 16 year olds who may have looked older than their age. It’s still a popular place to meet, greet and “hook-up”

106 with newly made friends. How did they get away with that? Stupid question, ya think? On the evening of August 26, 1986, after an evening of heavy drinking an 18 year old Jennifer Levin a pretty, petite and gregarious college girl left Dorian’s with Robert Chambers who stood 6’4.” They headed to a secluded place in Central Park at 4:30AM behind The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Early the next morning a bicyclist discovered Ms. Levin’s lifeless body beneath a tree with her clothing above her waist. Police arrested Chambers later in the day who confessed her death was caused due to “rough sex that had gotten out of hand.” Jack T. Littman, a foremost Harvard educated criminal attorney, represented Chambers. The jury’s deliberation took nine days. A plea bargain was struck. Chambers was convicted of manslaughter. The judge imposed a 5-15 year sentence and he was forced to serve the full sentence due to his behavior during his stint in the pokey. Chamber’s renewed freedom didn’t last long. He was arrested in 2008 for selling a controlled substance and assaulting a police officer as well as burglary, assault and manslaughter. Impressive, eh? He was

107 sentence to 19 years and has spent a substantial amount of time in solitary confinement. There hasn’t been a murder in Central Park since that horrific tragedy. For those who watch TV crime dramas, such as Law and Order, don’t believe everything portrayed on television such that contribute a false reputation the New York City as a dangerous place to live.

Lappin’ Laps in the Lap of Luxury! On April 8th 1972, “The Queen of Mean” Leona Mindy Rosenthal and Harry Helmsley, the “King Kong of Big Apple Real Estate,” were married. Not too bad for a Brooklyn hat maker’s daughter.” Mr. Helmsley’s career began as an office boy who worked his way up from twelve dollar a week job to building a $50 billion real estate empire. He was a nifty catch for a woman who had struggled through life to make ends meet. What takes the cake; I mean shrimp was Leona’s new definition of decadence. At The Park Lane Hotel, their latest chip on their Monopoly board, a staff member was assigned from time to time to stand at one end of the rooftop swimming pool holding a silver platter laden with shrimp. The servant dropped a

108 shrimp into the queen’s mouth upon her completion of each lap. Her lavish lifestyle took a dive from livin’ the dream to living her worst nightmare, clink into the “can.” “Only little people pay taxes” was Mrs. Helmsley’s arrogant mantra making her a target as a persona non grata. Her fall from her position “on top of the world” to an eighteen-month stint in a Danbury Connecticut prison. P.T. Barnum had said, “Any publicity is good.” Go explain that to Leona, ha! What she was really guilty of was arrogance and stupidity. “Don’t get drunk with success” some advice provided by an old wise sage many years ago. It never applied I got drunk before success. J

Be seated “Old sparky” aka “the fryer” was the hot seat that took ‘em “out of this world.” Located in Sing Sing Correctional Facility in Ossining, aka “Up the river. ”New York City is a short ride from “the city.” The last inmate to take “the hot seat” was Fredrick Charles Wood in 1963 he was sentenced to death for murder. His execution took place a few days prior to New York’s mandate outlawing capital punishment due to a ruling that it was unconstitutional.

109 Rumor has it there was a sign on the back of the electric chair. If you’re old enough to remember the TV commercial for Westinghouse Electric then surely you’ll remember their tagline: “You can be sure if it’s Westinghouse!” Could be that the sign on the back of old sparky?

20th Century giants Few New Yorkers have heard of The Cathedral of St. John the Divine located at 112th Street and Amsterdam Avenue in northern Manhattan. It is the largest gothic cathedral on earth, measured by the length of the nave. There are statues commemorating one person representing each century since the life of Christ located on the high altar. However, the 20th century is the exception having four statues. The decision-makers couldn’t agree on one person for the 20th century, due to their remarkable places in history. Their selections are a Hindu man, a Jewish man, a Black man and an American woman. Here they are: Mahatmas Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Susan B. Anthony. Stop by and have a look at this incredible New York City treasure.

110 “When’d you open up?” Eisenberg’s Sandwich Shop, located on Fifth Avenue between 23rd and 22nd Street opened its doors in 1929. Nothing’s changed there except the prices and staff. The tin ceiling, the wall mounted rotary phone, the manually operated cash register, the coffee maker and all the depression era lighting fixtures still remain in place. I always take a seat at the counter because it’s more social. I enjoyed watching the action and I always asked the counter-waiter: “When’d you open up?” He noticed me every time I walked in anticipating that I was about to ask him that same question. I caught him telling a customer seated at the counter as I was walking in. He said to his customer, “ See that the guy walking in is about to ask me “When’d you open up? Just wait, you’ll see.” Occasionally, I’m tempted not to ask to make a fool out of him but nah, why disappoint and embarrass him? A young Korean man bought the place and he didn’t change a thing. It was a cash cow, credit cards not accepted. Why change it? On one occasion as I handed him my “guest check” I remarked, knowing he was not one of the founders or a family descendant.

111 “Hi Mr. Eisenberg! How are you?” His reply; “Fine, very fine.” He was well aware that I knew he wasn’t Mr. Eisenberg and didn’t matter; he knew I was joking. When you’re in New York City try the BLT or tuna on rye toast with tomato. You can’t beat it with a shtik!

The Wall Street Wall Have you ever wondered how Wall Street got its name? It had been an Indian trading post long before the Dutch arrived. The Dutch built a wall in 1653 to protect the little village of New Amsterdam from hostile Indians. That never have worked and it was never tested. If you’re on Wall Street take a look at the cobblestones and you’ll see approximately twelve feet apart there are wooden markers embedded in the pavement. They signify where the fence support posts had been imbedded in the ground. The British arrived seizing New Amsterdam in 1664 and they demolish the wall. Dutch Law forbid Jewish men from guarding the wall; instead they were required to pay a tax. Asher Levy, a wealthy Jewish merchant wrote a letter to The Governors of The Dutch West India Company pleading for equal status

112 for Jewish men granting them the right to guard the wall in lieu of the tax. He received a response and his request was granted. It was the first legal act in defense of religious freedom on our soil. A precedent was set proclaiming: “Those who practice a specific religion cannot be denied equal rights for participation in our society.”

The future has arrived! In the early 1960’s in midtown Manhattan was about to undergo a spectacular transformation. Five floor 19th century brownstones were demolished between 42nd Street and . Modern style fifty-story buildings were constructed that were set back providing considerably wider sidewalk space. Huge reflecting pools and fountains with seating around their perimeters created to a more pleasant environment for pedestrians. The transformation provided usable outside space and more sunlight. It was urban planning at its best; nothing quite like it had ever been done before. In return for the street space, reducing the building’s footprint, the city provided by the building owners the right to build higher beyond the existing zoning code regulations. Higher floors rent for higher prices due to

113 prestige, the quiet and magnificent views. It was a wonderful idea providing something for everyone. Another spectacular transformation has taken hold and buildings have broken all the height records in recent years. One Central Park Tower, currently under construction has 131 floors breaking all records rising 1,550 feet that’s 300 feet taller than The Empire State Building. Put your seatbelt on folks, here we go again!

The “Empty” State Building John Jacob Raskob, the wealthiest Catholic man in the country put his hopes and dreams on the success of the building. Thanks to Starrett Brothers and Eken, the contractors, created the concept of “fast track construction” completing the construction in 13 ½ months! Upon its completion Mr. Roskob occupied an office on the eightieth floor however; he had nobody to look down on. “The Empty State Building” was the embarrassing moniker for the world’s tallest fiasco. The road ahead was rough as the country was caught in the clutches of The Great Depression. Fortunately Raskob’s misfortune turned into wealth due to King Kong’s appearance on the

114 silver screen two years after the building’s completion. That stroke of luck transformed the building’s fortunes that transformed the building into profitability. Due to the huge popularity of visiting the observation deck the buildings 40% of the building’s gross revenue is derived from observation deck ticket sales!

Elevator Humor A woman stepped into the elevator with a laundry cart containing one sock. I didn’t know her but that didn’t stop me. “You’re going to the laundry room to wash a sock?” She burst out laughing well aware that I knew she was on her way to pick up her laundry. I got off the elevator at street level to pickup my mail and she proceeded down to the laundry room. After I got my mail I waited for the elevator. As the door opened she reappeared with her cart filled with clothes and a gentleman was in the elevator. “Ah ha! So that’s the scam! You emptied the drying and stole those clothes!” I suggested. She burst out laughing again and the gentleman was clueless, of course. On another occasion I exited the elevator in the basement and as the elevator door opened I saw two of my neighbors who were waiting

115 for the elevator. We decided to hang out and chat a bit. There’s a three people maximum limit in the building’s elevators during the pandemic. As a result longer waiting times create unhappiness and inconvenience. I suggested what a funny little caper it would be for the three of us to stop chatting and enter the elevator repeatedly to prevent others who appear from getting into the elevator. That way we can prevent a lot of people from getting into the elevator. Hee hee hee! A childish idea, but the fun was just sharing the idea with friends who got a kick out of it. On another occasion one of my neighbors, who is about 6’8” a guy you can really look up to! Just the two of us entered the elevator and as the elevator door closed I asked him I asked, “What floor?” “Third floor, thanks.” “You’re practically there!” He looked down at me with a smile.

A life turns to stone Audrey Munson, “America’s first sex goddess,” was born in 1891 and lived to the age of 104 living a terribly tragic life, the worst.

116 She became a movie actress, enjoyed a terrific modeling career for numerous sculptors. Statues with her participation as the model were created and displayed throughout the city and other places in the United States and abroad as well. The most famous of all in New York City is “Civic Pride” installed at the top of The David N. Dinkins Municipal Building located adjacent to the Brooklyn Bridge’s north side in Manhattan. It’s the second largest statue in the city and once was the largest building in the city. It has been written, “she is the most exposed woman in New York City who we never knew.” She had modeled for the 50-cent coin known as The Walking Liberty Half Dollar minted from 1916-1947. She lived at 164 West 65th Street; a building owned by Dr. Walter Wilkin, a married man with whom she had a long affair. She was charged and convicted for the scandalous murder of Dr. Walter Wilkin’s wife. There was credible evidence that the doctor had killed his wife and she had been wrongly convicted. She was committed to an insane asylum in 1931 and died there in 1996 due to a stroke! She spent 65 years behind bars for a crime she did not commit.

117 “Standing up” by staying seated! All passengers exited the plane except Mayor Fiorello H. LaGuardia. He refused to leave his seat forcing the stewardess, as they had been called back then, to summon the captain. “I have a ticket to New York City and we’re in Newark, New Jersey. I’m not going to leave my seat until I’m in New York!” It was a cleaver publicity stunt executed in 1934. Mayor LaGuardia was flown to Roosevelt Field in Long Island because at that time there were no airports in New York City. As a result of the mayor’s stunt the first airport in New York City was named after the former mayor! La Guardia airport opened for business October 15, 1939 just five years after he executed the incident. Smart guy, eh?

A paraplegic gave me a “lift!” While driving in Midtown Manhattan I pulled over to accept a phone call. While seated in my car on Fifth Ave, across the street from Bergdorf’s I noticed the paraplegic man whom I had seen and visited many times before at the same location. It’s his spot, always there when the weather is suitable. He balances his tin can between his exceptionally short legs extended on his wheelchair’s leg rest.

118 Whenever I’m in the area I spend some time to chat with him and provide a generous donation. What does it take to spend some time to add a bit of happiness for tragically handicapped people? He always gives me a lift, grateful to be alive and well. Stopping to provide a bit of support and caring for a less fortunate person is time well spent, always.

“Honest Graft” “Honest graft” was alive and well in The Tweed Courthouse in 1905. The building has always been regarded as the most corrupt government building in the city. Councilman George Washington Plunkitt created the concept, “honest graft” at the courthouse. For example: The city held an auction disposing thousands of Belgian blocks that came from Belgium. Where else? They were used for ballast facilitating safe ocean crossings. The stones were perfect for street surfaces too. The first street paved in Manhattan is Stone Street and those coble stones are still in place. When Councilman Plunkett appeared at a city auction two others showed up as well to place their bids. The dis-honorable Honorable Councilman offered them all the blocks they

119 wanted free! All they had to do was keep their bids low enabling him to seize the entire lot for “peanuts.” Plunkitt’s scam quite likely prevented the city from obtaining a higher price. Plunkitt honored his offer to the city and kept his promise to give the other two in attendance the blocks he had promised them. Therefore, the transaction was “honest graft.”

“The people have to be punished!” Ed Koch, a very popular mayor, was loved by an enormous following of admiring New Yorkers. A grass roots politician Koch worked his way up through the ranks of city politics. From 1969-1977 having served as a U.S. a Congressman. He was quick-witted, honest and a backslapping, handshaking “man about town.” His unique, comical and marvelous personality made him a “walking news story.” He referred to himself as a “liberal with sanity.” He governed the city for three terms, from 1978 to 1989, and tried for an unprecedented fourth term. Unfortunately, he failed to clinch the Democratic Party’s nomination for a fourth term. David Dinkins, Manhattan’s Borough

120 President, defeated him. After Koch’s shocking loss to Dinkins a reporter asked him: “So, Mr. Mayor . . . what do you have to say?” His response was classic Koch, “Now the people have to be punished!”

The Greatest High of all The World Trade Tower’s towering losses became a thing of the past thanks to Mr. Petit’s incredible stunt of walking across a wire connecting the twin towers. On August 7, 1974 Philippe Petit stepped out 1,368’ above the street, spending 45 minutes walking, dancing, prancing, sitting and lying down while taunting two NYPD officers positioned on the roof to snag him. Can you imagine two cops grasping him? Huh? Who’s the genius that mapped out that plan? He traversed the 138-feet between the towers eight times on a 440 lb. wire cable arranged and installed by his staff providing the greatest prank in the history of The City of New York. Petit was arrested, handcuffed and promptly released. He was granted a free lifetime pass to the observation deck and was sentenced to provide a show for children in Central Park mandated by the court’s judgment. Petit’s stunt provided huge financial benefits for the towers the effect was comparable to

121 King Kong’s caper at the top of The Empire State Building. The two most monumental architectural New York City architectural marvels, at that time, required an obtuse stroke of luck necessary to facilitate their success.

Churchill’s Bklyn Mum Sir Winston Churchill’s mum’s birthplace was not in the UK! Jennie Jerome, his mum, was born at 424 Henry Street on January 9, 1854 located in Cobble Hill, a beautiful Brooklyn neighborhood. She married Lord Randolph Churchill. Churchill’s mother was widely known in New York, Paris and London’s high society. Within months after meeting Lord Randolph Churchill they tied the knot. If Jennie chose to remain in Brooklyn it could have resulted in a German land invasion of England. Churchill’s remarkable and brilliant leadership during World Was II was instrumental, a most significant driving force that led England to victory, with plenty of help from Uncle Sam.

122 Port Authority can’t be that stupid Santiago Calatrava’s Oculus is a $3.9 billion colossal rip-off thanks to some “fancy footwork” presumably, but not proven, on the part of The Port of New York and New Jersey Authority executives. The $3.9 billion price tag is nearly twice its original contractual cost! It’s a shopping center, a subway station and PATH (Port Authority Trans Hudson) train terminal folks! Did we really need that expense? DUH! Tolls have nearly doubled funding this outrageous stroke of call it what you will. A major public hearing should be held in search of the truth. Why hasn’t that happened? Only those responsible know the true story of the greatest act of mismanagement in New York City history and they’re the ones who would have to authorize an investigation. Does that make sense?

What’s the big deal? Chef Dominique Ansel owns a bakery located at 189 Spring Street in Soho. His invention, the cronut, transformed his bakery into a major destination. A cronut consists of croissant-like dough filled with flavored cream fried in grape seed oil. People stand in line during early morning hours waiting to satisfy their craving for the taste of a cronut. Getting in line at 5AM

123 is another example of “the city that never sleeps.”

Lee’s Art Lee’s Art was Manhattan’s largest art supply store. It was located in a landmark building occupied entirely by Lee’s Art. The business and the building were owned and operated by Ruth and Gilbert Steinberg and their adult children managed and inherited the family business and building. After their parents passed away they sold the building in 2013 for $85 million. The Steinberg’s paid $8 million when they bought it in the 1990’s. Years ago when my wife and I were living in she shrieked, “There’s a ‘lees-art’ on the window!” I knew she meant, a lizard! To me, it sounded like “Lee’s Art.” “Lee’s Art, the art store located on 57th Street!” I reminded her, it was another cute French accent faux pas. We laughed! We relocated to New York City and on one occasion. I passed by Lee’s Art and stepped inside to tell Mrs. Steinberg the story. She had a robust laugh and I walked out of the store smiling. There’s no doubt that the Steinberg’s learned the art business and the art of real estate as well.

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Dear reader, Thank you for reading Bits & Pieces. I hope you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve spent reading these little ditties. I do not consider myself to be and write by any means. Although I love to tell stories, amuse, inform and stimulate some laughter. Wishing you all many safe and pleasant journeys for manyyears to come. All the best, Cliff

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