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Bits & Pieces of the Big Apple

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Bits & Pieces of the Big Apple Bits & Pieces of The Big Apple Fascinating facts, frivolities Awful events & witty ditties Cliff Strome 1 Cover Photo The Statue of Liberty’s arms were raised and the tablet was put under lock and key during the soaring rate of crime from the 1970’s through the ‘90’s. It served as a warning that the city should take the crime surge seriously. The tablet is embossed: July IV MDCCLXXVI (July 4th 1776) the date of the signing of The Declaration of Independence. She is the enduring symbol our nation. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Photo by Cliff Strome Photoshop by Evan Kimia Custom & Private New York Tours, Inc. www.customandprivate.com [email protected] 212-222-1441 “Providing fun, memorable and informative New York City experiences, targeting your interests, preferences and whims!” That’s my mission. 2 Welcome to Bits & Pieces of The Big Apple Bits & Pieces is an assortment of humorous snippets, amusing info, offbeat tales, tragedies, folklore, obscure historic facts and hilarities happenings in New York. Bits and Pieces This tour through “the city” will entertain, educate and amuse you. A table of contents is not provided to encourage you to read every Bit and Piece. What’s the difference between a bit and apiece? I don’t have a clue I just like the name! I’m not a writer however I like to tell stories. Throughout the book I provide my opinions and others may include my participation. Please don’t take everything too seriously, it’s intended to amuse, entertain and in form. Thanks! Cliff Strome April 19, 2021 [email protected] 3 A home for narrow-minded people In 1873 a house was built at 75½ Bedford Street. Since then it’s been the narrowest house in Manhattan, 8’ 7” wide, 30’ deep, providing 999 square feet of living space. It was the home of Margaret Mead, Edna St. Vincent Millay and a Barrymore. The last price paid for the property was $3,253 per square foot, that’s $3,249,747 the highest price paid, per square foot, for a freestanding home in greenwich Village. Would it be a good fit for you? That depends on whether or not you’re narrow-minded. “Put-in” the Gas! We all know Putin is a “commy” however; his trip to New York City in 2003 exposed his desire to top off your tank at his first gasoline pumping station in America. He loved playing the role of a capitalist in the most capitalistic city on earth! Gasprom bought Getty Oil and Putin got his slice of the Big Apple. With Senator Schumer playing the role of a master capitalist hosted Mr. Putin launch his business in the Senator’s hometown. What they do have in common is that neither have ever had a job in the private sector. 4 Putin was here to launch the first Lukoil gas station in The United States at the corner of 24th Street and 10th Avenue in Manhattan. As any good host would have it Mr. Schumer provided a snack, Krispy Kreme Donuts. Fortunately Vladimir trusted Schumer confident that his nosh was not laced with Novichok, a favorite “cocktail” served to Putin’s traitorous commissars and political rivals. He was disappointed when Mr. Schumer refused accept a free tank of gas for his car. “Put-in the gas Chucky boy!” A happy “ending” I had a friend who worked at a top floor of The Chrysler Building. At my request, she offered me the opportunity to tour her workplace located in a triangular dormer windowed floor. The entire floor was a dental office. There were several rooms with dental chairs and equipment, a waiting room, a party room and office space. The party room was painted black and it was illuminated with UV ultraviolet lights. Pairs of white circles, of various sizes, had been painted on the walls, so it seemed. Some pairs of circles were as low as two and a half feet 5 high and others were higher. I asked here, what’s up with that! During a party one of the guys brought a paint roller kit. After we had all gotten “liquored-up” the guys lowered their pants and their underwear, from the rear only, and the ladies uncovered their butts too. The guy with the water-based paint applied paint with a roller on everyone’s butts. “With wet paint on our butts we backed up pressing our buns against the wall leaving pairs of white circles.” Since then, whenever I look at the dormer floor windows of The Chrysler Building I can’t help thinking about this little tale with a happy “ending.” “Close the frig!” Watergate, Irangate and last but not least, Bridgegate; the last ‘gate was a malicious scheme executed on September 9, 2013. The purpose was to punish the mayor of Ft. Lee, New Jersey, the municipality that’s located adjacent to the Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge connected to New York City. The bridge closure was intended to punish the mayor of Ft. Lee who did not support Christie’s candidacy for another term as governor. 6 Two toll lanes providing access to The George Washington Bridge directly from the local streets in Ft Lee were shut down. The caper occurred on the first day of school creating massive chaos. The scheme created a traffic horror resulting in massive traffic jams, serious health risks and one death. Two Port Authority staffers were convicted and sentenced to some time in the “sweatbox” aka jail, prison, the pokey or “the clink.” The Supreme Court exonerated them in 2020 and they were released. What about Christie? He walked, or rolled away from the entire ordeal and won a second term. If he had was subjected to questioning he might have said: “I knew about the bridge closure and I had though they said ‘close the frig’ so I really never was involved with that bridge thing. My hands are clean and so was my plate!” Having a ball While walking through Central Park I noticed a little boy, about six years old, who seemed to be very frustrated trying to retrieve a soccer ball that he kicked it into the enclosed area. I asked him if it was his ball and he nodded yes. He had either kicked or thrown the ball into a small-enclosed inaccessible area. A 7 temporary metal mesh fence obstructed access making it impossible for him to retrieve his soccer ball. Noticing his frustration I stopped to take a look. While he pondered the dilemma I suggested, “You need a plan.” He looked up at me and I detected that he seemed hopeful that I might be able to help him retrieve his ball. He didn’t speak, perhaps he had been told not to talk to strangers. I saw a piece of bent wire securing the area where his ball had landed. I twisted the wire enabling me to swing the makeshift gate open. After retrieving his ball I twisted the wire back to its intended purpose. I walked away waiving to him with a sense of gratification. Suddenly I heard him shout. “Bye-bye! Bye- bye! Bye-bye mister” while he waved to me. I waived back with a broad smile. With his ball in hand he ran to his parents who were seated on a nearby bench. No doubt they observed the entire incident. Perhaps he learned a valuable lesson about problem solving and helping others. I walked home with another precious memory in the park. “Hey lady!” My brother taught in The South Bronx in the ‘60’s to avoid the Vietnam “Conflict.” At times, 8 he was a roving substitute. On one occasion he taught at a school where a rumor spread like wildfire that Jerry Lewis was teaching there! My brother looked very much like Jerry Lewis and he also had a terrific talent of imitating him perfectly! At day’s end, as he approached his car, he noticed a crowd that had gathered. The kids were making a commotion, shouting and waiving pieces of paper seeking autographs. “Hey lady!” The kids were hysterical and loving every minute of it. He got in his car, shut the door and was about to start the car’s engine. A little girl knocked on his window. He lowered his window and she slipped the paper to him and walked away. While driving home he stopped at a red light and he unfolded the paper she gave him. His jaw dropped and he smiled broadly when he read what she had written. To a very nice man, love Elizabeth Taylor! 1 Extra Place Apt. 4U Completed in 2017 an upscale residential condo building, part of a small complex, was completed on a piece of property formally occupied by a Pathmark supermarket. It’s located between 1st Street and 2nd Avenue at the north end of Bowery Street. It’s on a dead 9 end street off the beaten path, truly is a slice of “hidden New York.” What I love about the building most of all is the address. It doesn’t have a prestigious address such as 15 Central Park West, 740 Park Avenue, 220 Central Park South and 998 Fifth Avenue. The neighborhood is known as Nolita, an acronym for north of Little Italy. It’s also a stone’s throw from Chinatown, Soho and The East Village. What a terrific gift from a loving soul would be to give a gift, a condo located at: 1 Extra Place 4U New York, NY to their adoring significant other.
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