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An Ideal Husband Script An Ideal Husband Script - Dialogue Transcript Voila! Finally, the An Ideal Husband script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Julianne Moore and Jeremy Northam. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewin gs of An Ideal Husband. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in th ere and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest. Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts! An Ideal Husband Script - Your usual, my lord. - Mmm? Good morning, my lord. The morning paper, my lord. "Sir Robert Chiltern, a rising star in Parliament,... .. tonight hosts a party that promises to be the highlight of the social calendar... .. with his wife, Lady Gertrude,... .. who is herself a leading figure in women's politics. " "Together this couple... .. represents what is best in English public life... .. and is a noble contrast to the lax morality... .. so common amongst foreign politicians. " Dear oh dear. They will never say that about me, will they, Phipps? I sincerely hope not, sir. Bit of a busy day today, I'm afraid. Distressingly little time for sloth or idleness. - Sorry to hear it, sir. - Not entirely your fault, Phipps. Not this time. Thank you, my lord. - Good morning, Tommy! - Morning, Lady Chiltern. I very much look forward to this evening. - Miss Mabel. - Tommy. I hope you can make our usual appointment... .. as I have something very particular I wish to say to you. Good day, ladies. When Tommy wants to be romantic, he talks to one just like a doctor. Till tonight. - Miss Mabel. - Lord Goring. Lord Goring! Countess, good morning. - Aren't you going to congratulate me? - Congratulations. Aren't you going to ask what for? - What for? - I've decided to get married. My God! Who to? That part... is still to be decided. Good morning, dear Gertrude. Good morning, Lady Markby. Allow me to introduce my friend Mrs Cheveley. Two such charming women should know each other. - How do you do? - Mrs Cheveley and I have met before. Of course. Gertrude. And to think you married Sir Robert Chiltern. You know, I was so hoping to meet your clever husband. Really? Yes, but I have to return to Vienna on Friday. Oh, dear, what a shame. Well, perhaps I might bring her this evening? Yes, by all means. - What can I say? I'd be delighted. - Well... - We'll see you tonight. - See you tonight. You see, Phipps, fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable... -.. is what other people wear. - Yes, my lord. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself. To love oneself... .. is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Yes, my lord. Their Graces, the Duke and Duchess of Berwick. Lord Windermere. Countess Basildon. .. and, it is widely agreed, the last truly decent man in London. That you're a very personable man with a most attractive personality,... .. and you have brought into British politics an honesty and integrity... A nobler atmosphere, a finer attitude... And higher ideals. One mustn't believe everything one reads in the newspapers. Yes, in the old days we had the rack. Nowadays we have the press. Your own newspaper being the notable exception, Sir Edward. Where truth shines out like a beacon and lies run vainly for the shadows. Bravo, Lady Chiltern! Do I detect in your conversation a lyricism... .. not uncommon in your husband's excellent speeches? If you are suggesting that my position owes anything to my wife,... .. you are mistaken. It owes everything to my wife. I demand that you make it known! Without her, I am entirely unexceptional. And without her love,... .. I'm nothing. All I know is, a serious shake-up in the government looks inevitable now. The Prime Minister himself was asking about you this morning. Really? Probably afraid you'd be taking his job! Lady Markby, Mrs Cheveley. Oh, my dear,... .. if I had a jewel for every staring eye! I'm glad to say, Lady Markby, you evidently do! Excuse me. Chère madame, quelle surprise! Lady Markby. - I have not seen you since Berlin. - Five years ago, Vicomte. You are younger and more beautiful than ever. How do you manage it? By making it a rule only to talk to charming people like yourself. Mrs Cheveley. What do we know about her? Very influential in Vienna - in the highest circles. A force to be reckoned with. And are you staying in London long? That depends on the weather, the cooking,... .. and partly on your brother. My dear, Sir Robert has been dying to meet you. Everyone is! Our attachés in Vienna write to us about nothing else. An acquaintance that begins with a compliment... .. is sure to develop into a real friendship. - I see you've met my sister. - Yes, indeed. My dear child, allow me to introduce you to the Vicomte de Nanjac. Oh. You have a beautiful house, Sir Robert. We're very happy here. - I would so love to look around. - Allow me. Thank you. Lord Goring. Good evening, young lady. Well, sir, what are you doing here? Wasting your life, as usual! You should be in bed, sir! I heard you were at Lady Rufford's dancing till four in the morning! - Good evening, Father. - How do you stand London society? A lot of damn nobodies talking about nothing! Nothing is the only thing I know anything about. That's a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes. So do I. Everyone one meets is a paradox nowadays. It makes society so... obvious, hm? Do you always understand what you say, sir? Yes,... if I listen attentively. Brrrrr! Oh, conceited young puppy! I have it on very good authority that you have some delightful Corots. - Oh, really? Whose? - Baron Arnheim. - Did you know the Baron well? - Intimately. Did you? - At one time. - Wonderful man, wasn't he? Very remarkable, in many ways. It's a pity he never wrote his memoirs. They'd have been most interesting. Allow me to introduce my dearest friend, the idlest man in London. - Lord Goring. - You've met! I did not think you'd remember me, Mrs, er... Cheveley. My memory is under admirable control. Sir Robert, the Indian Ambassador. Excuse me. And so, my dear Arthur, are you not just a little bit pleased to see me? Oh, my dear woman,... .. possibly even less than that. Should you wish to avoid me entirely, I am at Claridge's until Friday... .. when I shall return to Vienna. Are you still a bachelor? - Resolutely so. - He is the result of Boodle's Club. He reflects every credit on the institution. Thank you. And now, Sir Robert, I have something to say to you. - You'll find me an eager audience. - I'm so glad. I want to talk to you about a great political and financial scheme,... .. about this Argentine Canal Company, in fact. What a tedious, practical subject to talk about, Mrs Cheveley. Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. I don't like tedious, practical people. Besides, you're interested, I know, in international canal schemes. Yes. But the Suez Canal was a very great and splendid undertaking. It gave us our direct route into India. This Argentine scheme is a commonplace Stock Exchange swindle. It is a speculation. A brilliant, daring speculation. Believe me, Mrs Cheveley, it is a swindle. Let us call things by their proper names. It makes matters simpler. I hope you have not invested in it. You're far too clever to have done that. I have invested very largely in it. Who advised you to do such a foolish thing? Your old friend and mine - Baron Arnheim. It was one of the last things he said. The future of the canal depends... .. of course, on the attitude of Her Majesty's government. And... .. I will personally be presenting my report... .. to the House of Commons on Thursday night. I can tell you now... .. I will be condemning the scheme in no uncertain terms. You must not. In your own interests, to say nothing of mine, you must not do that. My dear Mrs Cheveley,... -.. what do you mean? - I will be frank. Amend that report to state the canal will be of great international value. Will you do that for me? - You cannot be serious. - I am quite serious. If you do what I ask, I will pay you very handsomely. Pay me? You are a man of the world and you have your price. Everybody has nowadays. If you will allow me, I will call your carriage for you. You have lived so long abroad... .. that you seem to be unable to realise you are talking to an English gentleman! I realise I am talking to a man whose past is less perfect... .. than his reputation would suggest. What are you saying? I am saying that I know the real origin of your wealth and your career... .. and I have got your letter, too. You are very late! - Did you miss me? - Awfully. I'm sorry I did not stay away later. I like being missed. - How very selfish. - I am selfish. You always tell me about your bad qualities. - I haven't told you half of them. - Really? Are the others very bad? Quite dreadful. When I think of them at night, I can go to sleep at once.
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