Better Things: Approachable, Relatable, Equalizing
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Better Things: Approachable, Relatable, Equalizing Television has a long history of women trying to “have it all.” From Mary Richards to Ally McBeal to Carrie Bradshaw—having it all meant being a modern career woman with a loving man, robust social life and a closet that stocked an endless supply of au courant outfits. But their closets weren’t what was most aspirational about them, it was their ability to balance all these aspects of their life and somehow not lose their minds. There have been parodies of this trope, such as Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) in 30 Rock trying to find love while she’s putting out fires on a dumb TV show and no doubt walking around with a mustard stain on her sweater. But in Pamela Adlon’s show Better Things we might finally have a true comedic portrayal of what it means to try and “have it all.” Sam Fox (Adlon) is a divorced, working actress, trying to raise two teenaged girls and still be a separate, satisfied woman. She doesn’t play the trope as a gag, but rather as a genuine expectation many women have for their lives. It’s a nearly impossible standard that makes Sam’s life so watchable. We empathize with her juggling because it’s synonymous with what’s required of a modern woman. The realism Adlon brings by basing the series directly off of her own life is crucial for !1 the emotional beats to land. It makes the show approachable, relatable and equalizing in experience. The opening scene of the pilot finds Adlon’s alter ego Sam sitting on a bench, staring into her phone, her youngest daughter Duke (Olivia Edward) sobbing next to her. Sam ignores Duke, inviting the judgmental stare of the other woman on the bench. It’s a scene familiar to any parent, but Adlon adds her edge by having Sam confront the woman, explaining that her daughter is crying in protest for Sam’s refusal to buy her a $6.00 pair of earrings. Sam tells this stranger that if she wants Duke to stop crying, maybe the woman can go buy her those earrings. The woman just stares at Sam, as Duke looks over, intrigued. Tension broken, Sam asks Duke if she’d like a hot dog on a stick. And they’re off to the food court. Here, Adlon matter-of-factly lays out her thesis: This is motherhood on her terms. Sam speaks to the “equalizing” effect in a talk at her daughter Frankie’s (Hannah Alligood) Women’s Empowerment Seminar in Season 1, Episode 2, “Period”: TEACHER We have one guest speaker. And tonight she’s gonna speak about being a mom—and having a career. Please welcome our very own Sam Fox. !2 SAM Oof. [Applause] FRANKIE Yeah, Mom! Go, Mom! SAM (clears throat) Thank you, Patty. Um, well [clears throat] I work and I am a mom. And some of you might later in life find yourselves in the same situation, I hope. Because you girls can be anything you want. You know, when I was a girl, no one ever really said that women had jobs, except Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore. [A man laughs.] SAM Thank you, Henry. But, uh, we can do it all! And we have to do it all, because in the end, the mom, the women, are the ones left watching. Okay, let me ask you all a question. How many girls out there get your period? Yeah, you heard me. If anybody here has got their period yet, put your hand up. Put your hand up. It’s okay. It’s okay. Who’s cotton-holing? I know, gross. But we’re all girls and women here. It’s just us. [No hands raised.] SAM So come on, Frankie, help me out. [Sam looks to her daughter.] FRANKIE Mom! !3 SAM Come on, raise your hand. Listen, Frankie and I went through it last week. She was stealing her sister’s tampons for half a year before she told me. FRANKIE Mom! SAM Frankie. Be a leader. Get your hand up. FRANKIE Mom! SAM Help ’em out. [Frankie raises her hand.] SAM Good girl! There! Anybody else? Who else here? Who’s bleeding? [More hands raise.] SAM There you go! Good! So brave! Come on, moms, let’s hear it for them. All right, who here has not gotten their period yet? [Hands raise.] SAM Wow! Okay! Well, you girls are in for it. You really are. But we all got your backs, right? Who here is having their period right now? I know I am! Can you tell? All right! Thank you! Mrs. Donner! Yeah! Moms? [Some MOMS raise their hands.] !4 SAM Thank you! Hands, hands. Sisters all! Who here has stopped getting their period altogether? Aunt Flo has left the station forever. Mom. Mom. [Two women raise their hands.] SAM Thank you! Thank you for that! Thank you! Look, we’re all girls, and we’re all women. And we all bleed, and we all suffer. And then the bleeding stops, and we still suffer. But you’re gonna find your own path, because we’re tough, and we can take it. And as long as you believe in yourself, and you take care of each other and watch out for each other, you just make the rest up as you go along. That’s all there is to it. That’s it! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Detroit! [Cheering and applause. Frankie approaches her mother, gives her a hug.] FRANKIE Good job, Mom. Also, I hate you. SAM I know. Episode Cited “Period,” Better Things, written by Pamela Adlon and Louis C.K.; Pig Newton/Slam Book/3 Arts Entertainment/FX. !5.