vol.58 no.2
APR-JUN 19
Out of Darkness
/ Out of Darkness / The Oldest Orphan / The Long Road Home / My Beloved Alexander: A Life Cut Short challenger
APR - JUN 2019 Out of Darkness
by Stormie Omartian*
nce you recognize the darkness as one of four female singers and Ofor what it is, it is possible to dancers on The Glen Campbell walk out of it and into the light for Goodtime Hour. Glen was the best, the rest of your life. I desperately but the work was challenging—and needed restoration, and I found I suffered from chronic doubt about transformation! If I could ind it,my abilities. Besides two TV series anyone who wants it can ind it too!a week, I crammed every spare hour with recording sessions and Escape to Nowhere commercials. I was obsessed with working. It helped me minimize In 1969, I worked in television my deep feelings of inadequacy
2 and enabled me to keep a tighter fellows I had dated, and we were rein on the depression and fear that somewhat compatible. Despite pleas always threatened to control my life. from a friend and Christian musician, Depression was something I dealt Michael Omartian, that I not marry with daily. For most of my life, at Rick, I was getting married. I had to least as far back as age13, I awakened settle for some amount of security every morning to the thought, Should and reprieve from my intense I kill myself now or can I make it loneliness and fear. through another day? Unfortunately, I believed I was only as good as my After marriage, my loneliness last performance, so when a job was actually increased daily, along with over, so were my good feelings about my fear and self-doubt. I needed myself and my life. more from Rick than he could give, and I resented him for not being able Despite the frightening aspects of the to give it. And the growing bitterness occult, I was irresistibly drawn to it. I toward Rick was taking its toll on my was desperate for anything that could body. I was frequently ill. I felt ugly possibly ill my emptiness inside, and old. All the choices I had made soothe the intense emotional pain I for my life that I thought would save felt, and quell the unreasonable fear it were killing me. that threatened to control my mind. There had to be an answer for me. Living in Darkness From Ouija boards to horoscopes, to seances, no matter how I tried One day, a friend who knew I was to think good thoughts, the fear, struggling called to give me the name depression, anxiety, and panic in me of a psychologist. My emotional grew worse. Peace eluded me. afliction had been affecting my work! With the assurance that the After two close-death encounters doctor gave “good advice,” I made from drugs and alcohol, I knew I an appointment. Not being able to had to correct my lifestyle or I was hold in my emotions any longer, I going to self-destruct. Every day I blurted out all my problems to this entertained suicidal thoughts, but man. With reassuring words, Dr I didn’t really want to die. Wishing Foreman suggested that I open a few that I didn’t have to live alone, I doors from my past to see that what resolved that I would not live alone. was once so frightening no longer Marriage was the answer, and Rick posed any threat to me. was the most likely candidate. I had
known him the longest of all the I took a deep breath and slowly began Out of Darkness
3 challenger with my earliest recollection. I was were the only ones I understood. So, four years old, sitting cross-legged on it was oficially conirmed: There was
APR - JUN 2019 top of the large laundry basket that something deinitely wrong with my was illed to overlowing with dirty mother, something that had a name. clothes. I waited in the darkness of the small closet beneath the stairway It was during this time too that I of our old, two-story ranch house, not learned that I was pregnant. The daring to get down from my position news devastated me. Marriage was because of the mice that frequently out of the question, and suicide was scurried across the loor. a solution to my terrifying dilemma of being pregnant and unmarried. My mother was always angry with me. The weight of the world was on my Her bitter anger was so frightening shoulders, but I knew that my dad that I had frequent nightmares about and younger sister needed me. There her. When she told me that I was was just one place left to turn. I drove ugly, stupid, bad, and would never to Tijuana, Mexico, for an abortion. I amount to anything, I realized I was knew the risks. I had wanted to die a very undesirable person. Feelings so many times in my life, and now of helplessness, hopelessness, futility, the thought frightened me. I prayed rejection, abandonment, sadness, silently, “God, please let me live and fear, and self-hatred settled heavilyI’ll be good.” on me. These were words too big for me to fully understand or verbalize For years I had dreamed of doing at age four, but they were genuine the things I was now doing, but feelings I experienced every day. all of the modeling, commercials, television shows, and acting could Throughout my adolescence and not convince me I was attractive or high school years, Mother’s behaviortalented. I still saw myself as ugly was erratic and volatile. Her behaviorand unacceptable—a failure who made no sense. I was always aware of would never amount to anything, the fact that I lived in a crazy house— as my mother always reminded me. not like the homes of normal people. And all my grasping for love caused There was no laughter, no fun, no me to end up in the same situation peace in our lives, and no hope for that two years earlier I had promised it ever being different. My last year in God would never happen again. I college I learned that my father had got pregnant. Getting pregnant was consulted a doctor who diagnosed deinitely a bad career move, and my mother’s mental illness with a without my career, I would cease to string of medical terms of which exist. In contrast to the last abortion, “schizophrenic” and “paranoid” when I felt relieved to be alive, this
4 time I felt depression, failure, and Son of God, and that the Holy Spirit disgust. It had been so ugly. wasn’t working with power in my life right then. “That way,” he said, “you Finding the One True Light are rendered totally powerless.”
Dr. Foreman listened to my story The book of John was making things unfold over a number of months and a little clearer for me. Jesus said, “I helped me gain some perspective, have come as light into the world, but neither of us could understand that whoever believes in Me should the origin of my mother’s hatred not abide in darkness.” I didn’t fully toward me. Then one day, Terry, a understand, but I recognized that the Christian friend who knew I wasn’t light had been there all along, but doing well, asked me to come with I couldn’t see it. My spiritual eyes her to meet her pastor. “What have were so blinded that I had chosen you got to lose?” she insisted. I darkness over His light, and I didn’t looked at the devastation of my life even know it. “In Him was life, and and clearly saw that she was right—I the life was the light of men. The certainly had nothing to lose. light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it.” Pastor Jack listened intently as I shared about my depression and When Pastor Jack asked if I wanted to fear. Then he asked, “Have you ever receive Jesus and be born again, I said, heard of the term born again?” He surprisingly without any hesitation, explained that being born again is a “Yes, I do.” It was simple and easy. I spiritual birth, not a physical birth. was born again, and according to the It’s the opportunity to not only secure Bible, I was the Lord’s and His Spirit your eternal future, but your future in lived in me. And that is how I knew this life as well—to begin life anew, the Lord would change me from the with your past forgiven and buried. inside out. I sensed a supernatural presence of love so powerful that it Pastor Jack gave me a reading permeated the air and washed over assignment, including the Gospel me. There’s life here, I thought to of John, which gave me something myself. And this life is real. tangible to do while looking forward to our next meeting. Later, meeting Delivered! with Terry and the pastor, I confessed that I didn’t believe in the devil. All that remained between Rick and Pastor Jack calmly explained that me was resentment. When I told the devil wanted me to believe that Rick that Jesus had changed my life, he didn’t exist, that Jesus wasn’t the he demanded that the name of Jesus Out of Darkness
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never be mentioned in our house pastor’s wife prayed over me. They
APR - JUN 2019 again. That, plus the fact that Rick addressed the spirits that had an was becoming even more critical oppressive hold on my life: spirits and cruel, pushed me to the edge. I of futility, despair, fear, rejection, couldn’t take it after that. I moved out and spirits of suicide and torment. the next morning. I had nothing much She told me that Jesus had the keys left, but I had the church and the Lord. to unlock the places in me where I I had received the Lord into my life, had been held prisoner all my life. and, at this point, I gave Him mine. As they prayed, I felt the physical manifestation of my depression After a year of dating and going to leave, like an enormous burden lifted church together, Michael Omartian off my shoulders. asked me to marry him. We prayed together and sought to discover I left the ofice dazed and almost God’s plans for our lives. Good things numb. The next morning, I awoke were happening in my career, but I without any feelings of depression continued to struggle with depression. whatever. No thoughts of suicide, Thoughts of suicide still plagued no heaviness in my chest, no me. With Michael’s encouragement, fearful anticipation of the future, no I made an appointment with the anxiety. I never again experienced church counseling ofice. those paralyzing feelings. Though depressing things happen in life, Mary Anne knew the Word of God depression never controlled me from and had great faith to see people that time on. I had gone into that set free from emotional pain. She counseling ofice knowing Jesus as explained that through our sin, evil Savior; I came out knowing Him as spirits inluence our lives and bring my Deliverer. about oppression and torment in the form of fear and suicidal thoughts. A Word About Deliverance She instructed me to pray and fast during the following week. Deliverance from darkness happens in different ways at different times. When I returned to the ofice the Sometimes it happens simply by second time, I renounced all my spending time in God’s presence occult involvement and alignments and walking in obedience to Him. with the realm of darkness. I listed Sometimes it happens by crying out my failures and confessed my sins, to God in prayer and exalting Him particularly unforgiveness toward my in praise. Sometimes it happens mother. Then Mary Anne and another in the counseling ofice with the
6 guidance of trained and qualiied Keys to Unlocking Christian counselors. But no matter the Kingdom of Light how it happens, it’s only Jesus—the Deliverer—who can truly set us free. Jesus holds the keys to life—to being born again He is the One True Light who comes and experiencing eternal life in the present and to burn away the darkness that tries to in the future. He gives us keys to unlock doors separate us from all God has for us. to a richer life on a daily basis—doors to peace, wholeness, fulillment, love, abundance, growth, ongoing deliverance, fruitfulness, restoration, “The people who sat in darkness have purpose, and total wholeness. seen a great light. And upon those who sat in the… shadow of death, The Key of God’s Word – Inscribing God’s Light has dawned” (Matthew 4:16). Word on our heart and in our mind helps to shape our actions and thoughts. It is spiritual That was me. I had been living in the ammunition to stand against lies from the realm of darkness. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, shadow of death and thought I could but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” never escape it. That was the big lie Reading the Bible irst thing in the morning I had accepted. But the Lord Jesus— gives us a solid foundation on which to build the One True Light—dawned on me our day. and I have never been the same. I felt it! I knew it! The Key of Prayer – The Psalmist said, “Early will I seek thee.” Spending time every morning in prayer doesn’t leave our day to chance. Taking our concerns to Him and listening for His guidance gives us a more peaceful and productive day. Stormie Omartian has shared her story The Key of Confession – “Sin” is anything of deliverance with less than God’s perfect will for our life. millions through her Critical attitudes, doubt, self-hatred, white lies, speaking and writing selishness—all are sin in God’s sight. We can ministry. Her books pray as King David did, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within in the series “Power of a Praying.…” me.” God always quickly answers a prayer of have been top on the bestseller list confession. and earned many prestigious awards. She is a sought-after media guest and The Key of Forgiveness – Forgiveness doesn’t has been featured in many Christian make the other person right—it makes us free. publications and magazines. Stormie When we’ve been wronged, not forgiving can and her husband, Michael, have be a persistent sin. Just when we think we’ve been married more than 45 years, forgiven, old feelings of resentment, bitterness, have two married children and two and anger come rushing forth like a lood, along granddaughters. with their partners—defeat, discouragement, Out of Darkness
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and sadness. Until I learned that my mother was a victim of her past and had a mental illness, I
APR - JUN 2019 was never able to see her misery—only mine. God answered my prayers about forgiving my mother so that I was eventually able to see her as God made her to be and not the way she was. Unforgiveness can also be repressed, as with the unforgiveness I had toward my dad for never rescuing me from my mother’s insanity. After I forgave Dad, I could see that he really did love me. Forgiveness allows us to focus on the good rather than the bad.
The Key of Saying ‘Yes’ to God – God calls us to trust Him in all things. Our dreams need to be His dreams. Jesus said, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” There is a clear link between obedience and enjoying the presence of God in greater measure. The more we obey God and live His way, the more we move into the light of His blessings. We can choose every day to live in His light. by Thomas Ho
*Adapted from Out of Darkness.Copyright © 2015, 1986 by Stormie Omartian. Published My Parents Died by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon In 1949, the year I was born, my 97408. www.harvesthousepublishers.com. Used by permission. Article compiled by Challenger homeland of Vietnam—though assistant editor, Margaret Gayle. divided into North and South— continued to war against each other. I was born in the South, in Phuong Dinh Province. Shortly after my birth, my mother passed away due to complications from childbirth, and when I was nine, my father was killed in a gun battle with the North. At that time, I went to live with my grandmother.
Grandmother lived with my dad’s sister and her husband in another province. She lived to be 95, crediting her long life to the fresh air
8 The Oldest Orphan
of the countryside and hard work. in. As smoke illed the bunker, my After her death, I stayed on with my aunt grabbed her twin baby boys aunt because the area was somewhat and began running to a neighboring secure. During the daytime, South bunker for shelter. She was hit by Vietnamese militia patrolled the a fragment of the bomb and died area, but at night, North Vietnamese within the hour. It was horrible guerrillas (known as Viet Cong) to see! Miraculously, the babies would sometimes come and ask for survived. After that fateful night, I food and money—which they said stayed on with my uncle, helping was tax. If we did not give to them, him work the rice paddies and tend we faced trouble. to his ive children. But with me, it was just too many mouths to feed. If the South Vietnamese military There was never enough food for all detected movement in the villages the family. at night, they would drop bombs on the villages. To protect ourselves On My Own from the bombs, we built bunkers for shelter to sleep in at night. Once a At age 14, I needed to ind a way to shell hit the bunker our family was live on my own. A wealthy family The Oldest Orphan The
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APR - JUN 2019 Thomas with older orphan boys
hired me to tend their cows and that I had no idea the direction I watch their house when they were should go. He took my hand, walked gone. The elderly parents had been me to the other side of the town, killed, and the adult children were and helped me ind my relative’s happy to have my help. But the area house. This man—a total stranger— was becoming more controlled day was like a guiding spirit to me. Up and night by the Viet Cong. And to this point in my life, I had had every night the ground shook as no religious experience. My parents South Vietnamese bombs hit their had been Catholic. I remember the targets. I needed to go south to indpicture of Jesus we had in our house freedom, but I didn’t know which and an altar where we placed incense way to go. My mind was illed with and kept a picture of a relative who much apprehension. had passed away. Through this man’s kindness, I sensed that God was One day an opportunity arrived. I guiding my path. was given permission to accompany one of the daughters to the city A Friend’s Help of Danang to buy supplies for a wedding. As we traveled through a My aunt let me stay only a few days small town, I slipped away and found before buying me a bus ticket and a bus terminal. Approaching the bus sending me to an uncle who lived in driver and explaining that I had no the town of Cam Ranh. Because I was money, I asked if he would take me his nephew, my uncle was willing to Quang Ngai, a province farther to take me in, but his wife resisted. south where I knew a relative lived. They had nine children, and times He looked hard at me for a moment, were hard! They let me sleep on the then agreed, saying, “You’ll have to loor and provided some food for me. sit on the bus loor.” At the end of I knew I was not welcome, and that the long bus ride, the driver realized was an unpleasant feeling! I was an
10 Thomas holding the flower on the back row with the other orphans The orphan group
orphan with no one who really cared asked where the children came from, for me. I was told that they came from the Cam Ranh Christian Orphanage. I Then—like a miracle—a man who asked my dad’s friend to take me to had known my father invited me to the orphanage. stay with his family. They had ive children, but the man and his wife The Oldest Orphan worked on the American military base in Cam Ranh and had steady When I got to the orphanage, I was incomes. I worked hard to help met by a lady named Miss Xuan. pay for my upkeep, and this friend I told her I didn’t have a father or offered to let me go to school in the mother and all my relatives had too afternoons after I inished my work. many children to give me a place to This was the irst time in my life that live. I boldly asked if I could come I was able to go to school. I entered live at the orphanage. Miss Xuan the ifth grade! looked at the man with me who explained that he was a friend of the Then one day, I saw a truck I had family and veriied that what I said never seen before—a latbed military was true. Then I was given some truck coming down the street, papers to ill out telling my history, loaded with children and boxes. It parents’ names, where I was born, stopped in the middle of an open etc. The following week I entered the park in the town, and the children orphanage. got down and began giving out all kinds of gifts to the local children— The year was 1969. I had just turned toys, school supplies, clothes, and 20 years old—the oldest of all the food packages. I was told that every children. Life at the orphanage was month the truck came and gave out a new beginning for me. We were
gifts to the village children. When I taught the Bible, had prayer meetings Oldest Orphan The
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Thomas with a friend, on the way to school
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every night, and gave thanks before being skilled in Kungfu helped keep we ate a meal. I learned about us safe. (I still practice Kungfu today God—that He loved me enough to and have taught it to my daughter.) die on the cross for my sin. In 1970, I surrendered my life completely My main job at the orphanage was to to Christ and was baptized. In my tend the chickens, making sure they heart, I felt that God had chosen me were fed well, and guarding them for a purpose—to spread His love to from being stolen at night. I was in others in need. charge, but a team of younger boys was assigned the task of helping me. My greatest desire had always been We built a fence around the chicken to get an education. In school, I house and buried the posts two feet struggled but was eager to learn. deep to keep people from stealing Every evening after dinner, the the chickens. One night someone children would sit around a table dug beneath our fence and stole and do homework. We were tutored 35 chickens. We not only lost our by dorm leaders in math, English, chickens, but it hurt our pride that history, or anything we had a problem the bad guys had outsmarted us! with. Sometimes even the teachers at school came and helped us. Within a Life at the orphanage was the most year, my grades improved. I became normal life I had ever experienced. a leader in my class and was chosen There were no bombings and no with four other boys to study Kungfu. VC taxes to pay. Then in January Sometimes, because we had nice 1975, we heard that towns in the binders, backpacks, and even some north were being lost. By the second bikes given by American military, week of April, the leadership of the orphan children were attacked the orphanage decided we needed on our way to school or church. So, to evacuate. Miss Xuan chartered
12 Thomas building the chicken house
two buses and one van, and all the at Skyline High School—and I was orphans and workers traveled by land 26 years old. The teachers gave the and sometimes by boat to Saigon Vietnamese orphans lots of help, and eventually going farther south as did the American students. Even to the coastal city of Rach Yia. We though I was much older, they were itted out an old boat and escaped happy to have me as a fellow student. to an island on April 29. Then, on The way of life in America was so the morning of April 30, the very totally different! Even if you were old, morning South Vietnam was taken you could go to school, and people over by Communist North Vietnam, even admired you for it. There was we escaped into international no prejudice. I felt welcomed. waters. Miraculously, our boat made it to Singapore where the US State After graduating, I attended Eastield Department agreed to receive us as College, thinking I would become refugees. After being processed at an electrical engineer. But when the Fort Chafee military base in Arkansas semiconductor industry opened up, and a short odyssey at a ranch in I was hired by a company where I Houston, we were welcomed at worked for the following 30 years. Buckner Children’s Home in Dallas, Then in 2009, the company moved Texas. their business to Singapore, and I was laid off. Through the years, I had High School and Beyond worked through my church to help Vietnamese immigrants settle well During the three months of our into life in the Dallas area. Now I was irst summer in Dallas, the orphansfree to do mission work in Vietnam. were given cassette tapes in English to listen to. When the fall school In 2010, 74 former orphans and staff, semester began, I entered 10th grade family members, and representatives Oldest Orphan The
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from Buckner gathered in Vietnam something given out of love. The APR - JUN 2019 to visit the site of our old home and Bible teaches that God cares for to bring gifts to orphan children. the orphan and that He is a Father The event was covered by the to the fatherless. I praise Him for Dallas Morning News and media His great love and protection of me in Vietnam. Later, the orphan as an orphan, and for giving me the group set up a charity called Cam privilege today of blessing others as Ranh Orphans (CRO) to provide He has blessed me. scholarships for needy children who want to go to school but don’t have “The Lord protects the foreigners. He the opportunity. defends the orphans and widows, but he blocks the way of the wicked” At Age 70 (Psalm 146:9, NCV).
Amazingly, nine years after being away from the semiconductor ield, I have recently been rehired by a new company, Qorvo. I never thought about going back to work in this ield, but when I was offered the job, it seemed that God has a purpose for me there. The hiring supervisors only took ive minutes interviewing me. They checked everything: my background, drug use, passport, Thomas Ho lives in consent of military—but not my age! Garland, Texas, with Being hired back at age 70 is truly his wife, Trina, and God’s doing! daughter, Grace. They are 30-year members Throughout my life, I have been the of Vietnamese Baptist recipient of much kindness. People Church of Garland. Thomas does helped me who didn’t even know charity work in Vietnam and has served as interpreter for a medical team me! Now, by helping needy children from Arizona which goes to Vietnam receive a Christmas present or have every year to train doctors at children’s school supplies, I hope to pay back hospitals. He has joyfully been reunited in a small way. When I see the faces with some of his family in Vietnam and is of the children, I remember how helping them with their medical needs. joyful I felt as an orphan to receive
14 The Long Road Home by Mary Eckstein
Becoming Catholic When I was nine, my mother died of cancer, and my dad remarried a Somehow, as a child, I knew there widow with two sons. Because my was a God. My Methodist parents did stepmother and all her family were not practice their faith, so I went to Catholic, it was decided that my church with my best friend, who was two younger brothers and I would Presbyterian. The irst time I heard become Catholic converts. What a the whole church sing “Onward powerful experience it was to walk Christian Soldiers,” I was overcome into a huge church with soaring walls with emotion. To this day, I still have and stained glass windows! I loved the book we studied in Vacation art and was drawn to the imagery of Bible School. the statues and the rituals. The Long Road Home Long The
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In those days, there were certain stained glass, no fancy altar, no Latin APR - JUN 2019 things you had to do to be a good Mass, no ritual. I became quite an Catholic: never, ever miss Mass on outspoken conservative Catholic, Sunday; never eat meat on Friday; complete with rosary, scapulars always make the sign of the cross (images of Mary worn under your before praying. Another rule at my clothing), an expert on relics and church was to never eat anything saints, and well-versed in Catholic before going to communion. As a theology and history. I thought result, once when it was very warm, Protestants had it all wrong, that it I fainted at Mass. We also had to go was the sin of presumption to think to catechism classes after school— you were saved by just believing taught by nuns at the church. The in Jesus. I had a lot of conservative classes were to prepare us to be Catholic friends, and we reinforced conirmed. We lived in fear that each other's beliefs. the bishop might ask us to answer one of the 100 questions we had Within the Catholic Church, there is to memorize from the Baltimore a large, very orthodox movement— Catechism. and I became part of that movement. I made my kids all wear scapulars. But going to Mass faithfully didn’t I wore only dresses and skirts and keep me from sinning. My teenage covered my head at Mass. I prayed years were particularly dificult, as the rosary every day and read my a stepbrother was molesting me and kids stories about the saints. Some my stepmother really didn’t want to of the doctrines of the church were deal with an opinionated, stubborn troublesome to me though. I never stepdaughter. But I managed through, felt a huge devotion to Mary that and in 1983, met and married my many of these orthodox believers husband. He was born and raised did. I could not believe some of a Catholic, and when we moved to the doctrines: Mary's immaculate Maine, we started going to the local conception (she was conceived Catholic parish. without original sin), her assumption into heaven (her body never Becoming Very Catholic corrupted here on earth), and her crowning as Queen of Heaven. She By this time, the reforms of Vatican was regarded (and still is by many) Ⅱ were in full force and, to me, the as Co-Redemptrix and Co-Mediatrix whole thing just looked fake. No with Jesus, which means that praying
16 to Mary will gain you what you need. really blown away. The teaching She can intercede for you with God illed my hunger for truth. And the the Father because, it is reasoned, preaching was simple, which I could she was the perfect mother, and what understand. son can refuse his mother's wishes? My Road to Faith Still Hungering When I went home, I told my Though I adhered to conservative husband what I had done. He was not Catholic doctrine, my local church happy. I think he feared I might leave did not feed me from the Word. When him. But with a wonderful marriage the priest molestation scandal broke and six children together, I would out, I was really disappointed in the certainly never consider doing that! church. We as a family quit attending I reminded him that he was the one regularly. My husband, too, lost faith who suggested I read the Bible, and in the church he was born into. that I was doing what the Bible told me to do. When I told the pastor that During this time, I was teaching piano I wanted to join his church, he started and all the stringed instruments in my me on a discipleship course—one in home. A pastor’s family contacted me which I had to really study and read for lessons for their two girls. They the Bible for answers. I also started had moved here from Alaska and attending Wednesday evening prayer planted a church in the next town. The services. mom told me they were independent Baptists. I was surprised to learn Again, my husband wasn't too happy that they didn't consider themselves about it, but I was gently persistent. Protestant. I started researching the I wouldn't go against his speciic Baptist faith and learned so much order not to go, but he didn't forbid that contradicted what I had learned it. I started attending this church in through the Catholic Church. the spring of 2012, and in August of 2012, I truly repented of my sin I still had the habit of sometimes and accepted Jesus as my Savior. going to Mass on my own. One day, In August of 2016, I was accepted I was headed to church and drove by for membership and was baptized the Baptist church of my students. (immersed) in a river near the church. I turned in, got out, and walked Imagine my joy in having my husband right into a Bible study class. I was and all my kids there to watch! My The Long Road Home Long The
17 challenger (Continued from back cover) programs. Alex and I were good
friends, always there to listen to each APR - JUN 2019 other’s problems.
After a time of working together at the church, Alex told me he was praying for me and that he would wait for me until I graduated. I hesitated over this, since I considered him my “brother- in-law,” but I knew I was falling in love with him as well. When I told my sister and pastor, they didn’t take it seriously, saying it was just a husband doesn't attend church with crush. But by that time I was 17 and me but often asks questions about knew my own mind. Alex began to the faith. I pray every day for the oficially court me, and our courtship salvation of him and my children. went on for two years. We were both very happy. I irmly believe in God's Word, that whosoever has faith and seeks Him But our relationship was not always will ind Him (Hebrews11:6). When harmonious because when Alex I think back on all the sins I have got his irst job, I felt insecure. We committed over my lifetime, I am were six years apart in age, and indeed so grateful to God for His now that he was working around salvation in Jesus Christ. My whole girls his same age, I felt threatened. worldview has changed, and I see Also, as boyfriend and girlfriend, more and more each day that the we wanted to hug, hold hands, and only answer to everything is belief in kiss as lovers, being tempted by Christ. “too much intimacy.” But knowing that God had called us into ministry and not wanting to do anything that was against His will, we decided to Mary Eckstein is the break off our relationship and focus mom of six grown on ministry. The disadvantage of children and the this arrangement was that we both happy wife of Tom, got jealous when we saw the other for 37 years. She is a talking friendly with the opposite member of Northside Baptist Church in North Windham, sex. So, after a few months, we went Maine. back together. We would sing our favorite songs, with Alex playing the
18 happy becausetherewould be no said, “Ofcourse!” We werebothso my love?” Iwas overwhelmed and suddenly said,“Will you marryme, car that Alex proposedtome.He company. Itwas while driving this was even issuedacarby thenew In 2017, Alex tookanewjoband and Ifeltsadforhim. of themrefused.Itmadehimsad, players tocomechurch, butmost a basketballteamandinvited the a burdenforsouls.Heonceformed God together, hesmiled. Alex had When Itoldhimthatwecouldserve would Ibewillingtogowithhim. call himintotheministryasapastor, Once heaskedmeifGodwereto enough tocover hisweeklyneeds. in thechurch. Hissalarywas just 2016, Alex becameafulltimeworker Alex and Iboth had jobs. Then in When Igraduated collegein2015, would notpleaseGod. that weshouldnotdoanything that eyes, andthewords remindedus guitar andlookingmestraight inthe Angelie andAlex the happiest day when we meet our we willgoto heaven anditwillbe our soulseparates fromour body, said, “OnethingIknow forsure,if we seeheaven’s gateopen? Alex body. Would anangelcallus? Would when oursoulseparates fromour life. Iwondered what deathwas like we sharedsomedeepthoughtsabout home aftermy musicpractice, and On Tuesday evening, Alex drove me things wehaddoneonourtrip. cherishing sweet memories ofthefun following Monday, we returned home, introduced as Alex’s bride-to-be. The and friends.Iwas sohappy tobe wedding invitations to his relatives attend hisparents’church, andgive trip togethertovisithishometown, pastor, Alex and I made a 10-hour permission from my family and On Wednesday, October31,with ring attheendofday. 7, and Alex gave me my engagement happened onmy birthday, September to make plans for the wedding. This their children’s plantomarryand parents shouldmeetandagreeto to atradition inthePhilippines, This was February 2018. According more goodbyes, onlygoodnights. 19
My Beloved Alexander: A Life Cut Short challenger louder. With trembling hands, I managed to unlock the door, ran to
his bed, and there he was—lifeless! APR - JUN 2019
I ran to get the pastor even though I knew deep inside that Alex was already gone. So many things raced through my mind: “This can’t be! We still have our wedding, our dreams, our soon-to-be family. We already had picked out names for three children. When I touched Alex’s hand, I felt the softness of his skin and the hardness of his bone. I just held Angelie and Alex his hand and cried. Our dreams were shattered! I felt like I was drowning Savior.” That was our topic! Then he in a deep ocean. I was broken! told me goodnight and “I love you,” with neither of us imagining that Within the hour, my pastor and sister he would soon experience the very and I went to the funeral home to thing we had talked about. pick out a cofin. I chose a silver one, and we chose a blue long-sleeve shirt On Wednesday, November 7, 2018, for Alex—the one he had worn in I woke up early with a heavy heart our prenuptial pictures. Later, when for no reason. I got ready to go to my his body arrived back at the church, job as assistant nursery teacher at my mind was in denial. I asked God my church. Alex lived at the church, why He hadn’t taken me with Alex sleeping on a cot in a small room off or why not me instead of Alex. My the school canteen. The two of us sister stayed beside me all the time always had breakfast, lunch, snack because I was so afraid. I hugged time, and dinner together. When I Alex’s clothes to me and cried. arrived at the church, I looked at the clock and it was already 7:25—so rare for Alex not to be up since he was usually ready by 7:15. I went to his room, knocked softly, and called, “Love?” I knocked again louder, without getting a response.
My heart began to beat fast and heavy. I ran to get the spare key from the church, returned, and knocked
20 It was so hard, not just for me, but for everybody—the church family, friends, and especially Alex’s family. To SUPPORT CCM On the second day—the day of the funeral—I still had not been able to financially, sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see Alex’s lifeless body. I kept please use the asking the pastor, “Where is God?” following ways And my pastor lovingly enlightened my mind through God’s Word. I was strengthened enough to play the piano at the funeral. I also played “Amazing 1. Write check payable to CCM (within Grace” on the violin—a song Alex U.S.) or purchase USA bank draft loved and the irst song he had heard (outside U.S.), and mail it to P.O. Box me play on the violin. I gave my best 750759, Petaluma CA 94975-0759. at the funeral. Despite my grief, I felt 2. Online Banking: Use the address above. For the account number, put happy because at the service some your CCM No. and your name. You of Alex's workmates accepted Jesus can suggest to set up a monthly auto Christ as their personal Savior. That transfer. was an answer to one of Alex’s prayers. 3. Online Donation: see www.ccmusa.org On the third day, I was beginning to 4. Credit card (Visa, MasterCard or slowly understand what was going Discover): Provide us with your credit on—but still my eyes overlowed with card number, card code of your credit card (3 digit number on the bank of Visa, MasterCard and Discover, 4 digit number on the front of American Express), expiration date, your name, address, and the donation amount. 5. Donate stocks or mutual funds: Please transfer to CCM’s account with Charles Schwab 2288-9880 DTC # 0164 Code 40 and notify us by sending an email to: [email protected] 6. If you want to include CCM in your will or Living Trust, please email us at [email protected], or call (707) 762-1314 for further details. All U.S. contributions are tax-deductible.
Angelie and Alex Short Cut Alexander: A Life My Beloved
21 challenger We Want tears. Our wedding was to take place on November 29, just three weeks
APR - JUN 2019 Your away. But now there was nothing! Stories Then on the fourth day, the day for When submitting articles interment, I never took my eyes away Please mail your article to: Challenger from the cofin until it was covered P.O.Box 750759 with dirt. At last my tears were silent, Petaluma, CA 94975 and I was able to pray, “Dear Lord, or email to [email protected] Thy will be done.” Please include your full name, address, and email address. Like so many other people, I never Articles will not be returned. imagined that something like this would happen to me. Life is uncertain, and losing someone you New Subscriber love is painful. My response to those Name who ask is always: “Alex is happy FIRST LAST now; he’s in heaven.” And Alex Address would want to ask, “How about you? When you die, are you sure you are going to heaven?” E-mail I love to tell people about Alex, even to talk about our wedding plans. Label Change or Cancellation From his death, I’ve learned a lot of Label Change Please Cancel lessons, especially to have a heart Please paste your address label for souls. Every day I miss him, but from CCM right here Christ is the source of my strength. (Allow 6-8 weeks for processing) I go to my Bible and devotional books for daily encouragement. Even though I know that Alex will New Address is: never exist again in this world, I’m Name excited about heaven. One day I will FIRST LAST see my beloved Alexander again! Address Right now, it may be months or even years before I feel normal again and my smile returns, but I know God will show me the way. His ways are higher than any of my own. He Response & Prayer Request makes no mistakes. (04-06/19) I am 25 years old and back again at my work. In the mornings, I teach in
22 the preschool ministry of our church. In the afternoons, I teach piano and CHALLENGER violin at an international Christian ISSN 1084-2144 VOL. 58 NO. 2 APR-JUN 2019 school. I also serve as church pianist, playing for services and choir and Periodicals Postage Paid at Petaluma, CA Copyright © 2019 by Chinese Christian Mission. orchestra rehearsals. Life is going on All rights reserved. Views expressed in this publication by the grace of God. I thank the Lord do not necessarily represent those of Challenger or CCM. Authors are responsible for their own articles. for all the Christian prayer warriors who have stood by me and fed me Published quarterly by Chinese Christian Mission God’s Word. Jesus is my Anchor—my 1269 N. McDowell Blvd. Petaluma, CA 94954 only Anchor! Tel: (707) 762-1314 Fax: (707) 762-1713 E-mail: [email protected], [email protected] "Blessed are the dead which die Web: http://www.ccmusa.org in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, POSTMASTERS: saith the Spirit, that they may rest Send address changes to from their labours; and their works Challenger, P.O.Box 750759 Petaluma, CA 94975-0759 do follow them" (Revelation 14:13, KJV). editor : Carmen Tsui assistant editors : Margaret Gayle, Dominie Bush editorial Coordinator : Yuan Yuan Sung GraphiC desiGn : MI Design Ltd. General seCretarY: Samuel Chiang
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In Memory of Alex
Angelie Taala lives in Cagayan de Oro City, Northern Mindanao, Philippines. She attends Bugo Bible Baptist Church where she serves as pianist. Like Job in the Printed in Hong Kong Old Testament, Angelie knows that “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away.” She is trusting the Lord’s plans for her future and holding on to His
promises for her strength. Short Cut Alexander: A Life My Beloved
23
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(Continued on page 18)
lexander was 21 when he moved to my church. and started coming to my town
by by Angelie Taala A My Alexander: Beloved Alex immediately got involved in doing in doing Alex immediately got involved became He church. the in work Lord’s the and leader, song youth, the of leader a in the I.T. computer consultant—a graduate ield. His skills, even of riding a motorcycle in the Philippine trafic, were very useful in in ministry at involved I, too, was the ministry. pianist and serving as the church the church, school and Sunday in the children’s teaching I was 16 years old, studying for a Alex was of Music in piano performance. Bachelor and in the Philippines from another province sister pastor—and my the brother of my was Alex and I had seen wife. So pastor’s my was times, and we considered many other each and sister-in-law. as brother ourselves A Life Cut Short challenger APR - JUN 2019