The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll

Vol LXVII, No. 1 St. Sebastian’s School October 2013 Ann Hirsch’s St. Sebastian Statue a Hit with Students and Faculty By DANNY HIGGINS ‘15, church doors open and send each St. read that which reveals the powerfully JACK McCOOL ‘16 Sebastian’s student westward into beautiful truth of our patron’s faith, the world after commencement. The honor, strength, and courage,” ex- The sun beamed down as the Statue is to symbolize and guide each pressed Headmaster Burke at the po- St. Sebastian’s community gathered individual graduate into his future. St. dium in front of the statue. His words outside the science building. The glis- Sebastian, standing so tall and strong, depict the beauty with which Ann tening bronze structure in the center holds arrows in his right hand, our Hirsch blessed our school grounds. of the crowd, carved with such detail school emblem. These arrows sym- Our paths as men are depicted in this to resemble a Roman soldier, was the bolize so much suffering endured by one statue and Mr. Doug Kingsley de- focus of every person’s gaze. We had our school saint, but so much of the livered this message profoundly: “It is gathered on this beautiful Thursday strength and the love of God, which is our hope that each of you young men, afternoon to dedicate our breathtaking present in our community. and the countless Arrows who will new statue of St. Sebastian. The base of the statue tells follow in your footsteps in the years Fortunately and gratefully, the meaning of being an arrow. Carved to come, will look at this statue and the St. Sebastian’s community was in the base, which the nearly seven consider your own path to heaven. blessed with the work of architect foot tall sculpture stands on, are the As each of you stride forth from this and parent Rob Olsen and esteemed words: “Veritas”(Truth) and “Faith” School into the world, how you will sculptor, Ann Hirsch, to produce this and “Reason”. Truth is prominently pursue truth through faith and reason? wonderful statue. Rob Olsen, par- placed in front of the statue because How you will be a beacon of light in ent of Peter Olsen, designed our new as young men at St. Sebastian’s we the world, and an example to others?” science and math building just a few are on a mission in life to seek truth This statue is exactly what From Left: John Hailer P ‘17, Headmaster Burke, Steve Pemberton, Board President Jim Elcock years earlier. Sculptor Ann Hirsch is through faith and reason. The carving St. Sebastian’s needed. It conveys ev- well known around the Boston area of truth symbolizes St. Sebastian lead- ery message instilled in us by St. Se- and is currently working on a statue of ing the newly graduated men out into bastian and can remind us every time Steve Pemberton’s Story Inspires Bill Russell near City Hall. Collabo- the new world to find this truth. we lay our eyes on it to strive for ex- rating with Doug and Joanie Kingsley, During the dedication, cellence and do good, as our true lead- parents of four St. Sebastian’s gradu- Headmaster Burke, Father Arens, and er Jesus Christ would have wanted us ates, Rob and Ann were capable of Doug Kingsley spoke about the new to do. St. Sebastian followed the way, Entire St. Sebastian’s Community constructing a figure to not only im- statue. “This great statue is a work of and as disciples of St. Sebastian, we By CALEB ALDRICH ‘14 given, but you have ever say over you to take action.” Pemberton did in- prove our campus, but also to convey art in itself, and we all know that art need to follow the path, which he lays HEAD WRITER the meaning of St. Sebastian’s School. isn’t completed until a viewer engages out in front of us, portrayed divinely what you build.” By telling the sto- deed take action and he found himself On Monday September 9, The bronze statue walks with it. It’s so strikingly beautiful that in this sculpture. The school therefore ry of his heartbreaking childhood, accomplishing his dreams of graduat- 2013, Steve Pemberton addressed the west towards the exit of the church. it arrests us, draws us in, makes us remains grateful to Ann Hirsch for her Pemberton was hoping to inspire ing from Boston College, getting mar- St. Sebastian’s Community. The au- This is not just an exit however; the want to look upon it from all sides and artistic vision and her terrific work. not only his family, but also readers ried, and having children. thor of this year’s all school summer around the world. At the close of his speech, read, A Chance in the World, spoke Pemberton proceeded to Pemberton left the community with with eloquence and conviction. His talk about how it is our duty to take very inspirational words about han- comments covered a wide range of what we have been given and pass dling adversity. He said, “pray to God topics including why he chose to tell it on to the next generation, “we are for strength to deal with your prob- his story, the duty to help others and measured by the impact our lives lems…Don’t tell God you have a big the challenge of facing adversity. have on another…on your best days, problem; tell your problem you have a In the first segment of his address, you are custodians – enjoying what big God…He will hear you.” Pemberton focused on his reasons for others have built, taking care of the Steve Pemberton’s, A writing A Chance in the World. Most community and strengthening it for Chance in the World, is a truly ex- importantly, he believed he had a duty the next generation.” ceptional story. Hearing his stirring to tell his story. Pemberton noted in Pemberton later alluded to words in corporate chapel brought the speech“I didn’t survive to keep the brutal situation he found himself the story to life. Headmaster Burke my victory to myself – I had a respon- in as a child. He said that he hoped summed up the sentiments of all at- sibility to get it down, to share it…our but also believed he would make it tending when he closed the assembly lives are ultimately about choice… out of the foster home: “hope asks by stating, “How richly blessed we are your inheritance is given to you; you you to stay where you are and wait; to have read his book, to have listened have no say over what you’ve been belief sits on a higher plane: it asks to him, and to call him friend forever.”

Headmaster Burke Stands with the Kingsley family and the new St. Sebastian statue, “Seb.” Teachers Freed from the Sixties by New Classrooms; School Rejoices By ANDREW ELCOCK ‘16, freshman, said the new setup would that he “hates having to look at other aid students out in the real world: people’s faces all day.” Moreover, JACKSON McKIEGUE ‘16 “It helps when you develop the skill Mr. Cressotti, in contrast to his love Over the course of the past two years of not talking to solely one person, of the ample closet space, bemoaned our fine establishment has refurbished but instead the entire class.” When the curtains. “Instead of darkening the many of its old rooms, primarily in consulted for his opinion, Mr. Ste- room, the curtains, in fact, are some- the original wing of the school. The fan Cressotti said the best part was how made of a magical material that workers, laboring tirelessly over the the “closet in the corner” where he makes the sun brighter,” he said dur- summer, put in new floors, desks, can “store his jacket and his tea pot.” ing an interview. Clearly, magic cur- lights and (controversially, perhaps) While increased closet space is un- tains can only be detrimental to any curtains. Over fifteen different his- doubtedly helpful in the teaching, no proper place of learning. Mr. Cres- tory, religion and English classrooms others have commented on this perk, sotti also complained about the lack around the school have been reno- strangely enough. Mr. Cleary, when of outlets, claiming the total number vated, breathing new life into the tired asked what he would change about in his room has dropped from the al- FREEDOM! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM! Now all we need are new water fountains! hallways of this hallowed institution. his room, responded with an em- ready meager two to a miniscule one, From new tables, to better desks, phatic “Not. A. Thing.” Furthermore, making electronic resources a hassle you can tell who’s drifting in and out.” In our opinion, the new rooms are vast autumn days are still frigid, while even to stylish carpets, the modifications Marty White, the one-stop-shop for to properly utilize. In addition, Mr. Mr. Cleary claimed they merely helped improvements over the old. For one, the mildest summer mornings see boys have been extensive, to say the least. all things St. Sebastian, responded to Doherty commented on how difficult him refine his method of teaching, es- the lack of gum on many of the new sweating anywhere near that wing. As with anything, there are plenty of questions about the new rooms with tables make proper test taking, almost pecially the long table he had installed desks is a big plus, though already it is Altogether, the improvements have had people willing to tell the world their overwhelming enthusiasm, stating inviting cheating due to the close in one part of his room. He recounted clear the undersides will soon be filled an undeniably positive impact on the opinions at the slightest provocation. “They’re good and... nice.” Another quarters side by side. the way in which he would often hold with globs of chewed sticky goodness. St. Sebastian’s community, propelling Teachers and students alike have student likes the “tables, and stuff,” Results on whether the refurbishments mock security councils at that oaken Moreover, the table setup of the his- class discussion to new heights, while mostly been enthusiastic, claiming the an insightful view into how the new really altered teaching styles were masterpiece, imitating discussions tory classrooms really does facilitate compelling students to engage with the changed setup and new equipment has features impact daily school life. mixed, however. Of the teachers who which had taken place during World discussions, livening up the classroom teacher. Together with the new build- aided their educational experiences. Others, however, viewed the altera- were questioned, Mr. Doherty said War I and II conferences. Like Mr. and generally making it more fun. ing, they have enhanced the St. Seb’s When asked what was best about his tions less favorably. One student, opt- the changes made him drastically re- Cleary, Mr. Cressotti did not see his However, the workers failed to fix educational experience exponentially, new history room, Mr. Doherty said ing to remain anonymous, dislikes the vise his approach to teaching. “You’re style change much, and has made few the climate control problems present leaving an indelible mark on this place it was the way it “facilitated better ‘round table’ style many classrooms forced to have more discussion,” he alterations to his system. in much of the religion area, and cold of learning. discussion.” Sam Gordon, a current have employed. This student states told an intrepid Walrus reporter, “and NEWS SPORTS New Faculty Classiness Off The Football Crashes RL Homecoming Does Not Appear in Photo: Charts; Mr. Nerbonne Astounded Page 8 Page 2 The US Government

Page 2 THE WALRUS October 2013 Meet Ms. Gilman the world (living or not) who would it it” and how she has “felt welcomed be. This question made her reflect for QUOTES of the from the beginning”. She described a few moments and she gave it a lot of how she “felt the theme (community) thought. Ms. Gilman would choose to right away” and gave many compli- have dinner with her deceased grand- ments to the welcoming faculty, staff, father who she has heard many stories and students. As the conversation con- about and wishes she got to knew. tinued, I learned that Ms. Gilman had On a lighter note, Ms. Gilman shared taught at the East Longmeadow High her love for the St. Sebastian’s salad MONTH School and earned her master’s degree bar and confessed how “tempting” at Middlebury College, last year. She the soft serve ice cream machine has told me that she was from Longmead- been. She told me her favorite child- ow, Massachusetts and now resides hood Halloween costume was when “When I grow up, I am going to be a grumpy in West Roxbury. Ms. Gilman “fell in she was a princess at age four, but that the love” with the Spanish language she preferred Thanksgiving over Hal- when she studied abroad in Argentina. loween. I asked Ms. Gilman if she has old man.” By STEVIE KAROL ‘17 She described how she “loved the cul- or has ever had a pet and she told she ture” in Argentina and how it made did when she was little and “would - Jack Goldman ‘14 On a bright, sunny September after- her want to “devote her life” to the love to” have one again someday. I noon, I interviewed the new Spanish language. Ms. Gilman has traveled to also learned that Ms. Gilman prefers teacher, Ms. Gilman. After exchang- many places in South America like Ar- Starbucks over Dunkin Donuts and ing friendly greetings, we both were gentina and Chile. She described how the Hunger Games over Twilight (who excited to sit down and begin the her trips to South America were “life- wouldn’t). Her favorite TV show is the interview. To get the ball rolling, I changing” and “eye-opening”. In the timeless hit “Friends” and her favorite “I’m going to meet my wife at the fall dance. asked her how she has liked her ex- middle of the interview, I asked Ms. movie is a foreign film called “Once”. perience at St. Sebastian’s thus far. Gilman one of the most conventional We are very lucky and happy to have Doesn’t matter if she’s a freshmen.” Without hesitation, Ms. Gilman lit up interview questions. I asked her if she Ms. Gilman teaching at our school and and expressed how much she “loved could have dinner with one person in hope she has a rewarding and fulfill- - President Christian Kelly ‘14 ing year. A Brief Interview With Handsome Man as “Honorable Chairman” to strangers. boarded himself up in a shack.

“Student Government is an oxymoron.” DF: What is the best band? DF: Do we need one day where we CK: Personally: Tickleback. Objec- can bring girls to school? - Mr. Nerbonne to President Kelly tively: Pavement. CK: I wouldn’t say so. It would kind of change the atmosphere of Sebs for DF: Tell me about food. the worse. I wouldn’t give up one day CK: I have not eaten a single fruit or of being able to constantly share ex- vegetable in the past 18 years. I believe tremely specific inside jokes just so that a diet consisting solely of meats, girls could be here. “I just peed my pants a little bit.” fats, grains/grain products, sugars, and water will lead you to emotional, spiri- DF: What about a take your kids to - Aturo Adkins ‘14 in the huddle during the RL tual, and aesthetic success. school day? CK: Yes, but only for students. DF: Anarchy or Atwoodism? game CK: Anarchy. DF: Who has the best hair? CK: I don’t think I’m qualified to an- DF: What teacher would be president swer that question. By DAN FULHAM ‘14 of the USA? SENIOR EDITOR CK: Mr. Cleary. He knows “what’s DF: Who isn’t fitting the right stereo- “Softo.” what” when it comes to political things. type in the school community? Much controversy has sur- CK: That’s a difficult question. rounded Christian Kelly, the funniest DF: Is Mr. Nerbonne’s claim that stu- - Mr. Richter, in response to someone on NPR. student body president to come out of dent government is an oxymoron cor- DF: Is impeachment in your future? Braintree, MA in the last five years, rect? CK: As long as I keep showing up to during his first weeks as President. CK: Probably, but I feel like it’s part of student council meetings, no, prob- Some find his humor low-brow, no my job to say “no”. So I guess my final ably not. funnier than the wit of a poor man’s answer is no. So. That is our President. A “Boy, that’s low. Even for you, Nerbonne, Cole Eden. Others view Kelly as pseudo-politician with a sharper wit something of a cult hero, satirizing DF: Any words of wisdom? than pre-motorcycle accident Bob the pointless role the student execu- that’s low.” CK: Never give up on the dream. Just Dylan. We’re in good hands. tive plays in our school by tossing keep putting it off until tomorrow. around quirky jokes and awkward fa- [Ed. Note: None of the views ex- - Mr. Jim Ferguson, upon finding that a bag cial expressions. Pitchfork Music has DF: Is Ptichfork good for music? pressed in this article reflect the views given his presidency a rating of 6.4, CK: Of course. Then I know whether of St. Sebastian’s School, the state of praising his “creative aesthetic” but of Milanos in Mr. Nerbonne’s office was filled to like it or not. Massachussetts, the United States of finding his leadership to be “deriva- America (minus the government ob- tive of Pixies and other pre-grunge DF: Salinger or Miley Cyrus: whose viously, they don’t exist right now, with nothing but rolls of plastic tape. 80’s alternative bands.” Regardless attempt to gain fame was less annoy- they probably do share these views to of where you stand on our president’s ing? be perfectly honest with you.) or the demeanor and policies, you can listen CK: Miley’s. Sure, it’s one of those United Nations] in to this conversation I had with him. things that cause you to question what The Return of Ka: Manifest Greatness kind of sad state society is in and how DF: What is the best thing about lead- corrupted the youth are and so on, but By OWEN KEHOE ‘14 because of my wife. She had a best of the kitchen. ing a dictatorship? at least she’s putting in a good amount friend living there and thought it Nothing really over- CK: Being able to introduce yourself of effort, whereas Salinger kind of just Ka Nguyen was born and would be a good idea for us to join whelms master Ka in the kitchen, raised in Vietnam and came to her,” remarked Ka. “But it did not but he says he is extremely over- America for the first time in 1994. work out so well in the end, so we whelmed and impressed by the Ever since he has been working decided to come back!” new science and math buildings. endlessly to master the English Ka, only in Texas for Praising the new build- The Walrus language and discover the Ameri- a year, decided Boston was the ing, “I have only been in the new A St. Sebastian’s Publication can Dream. All his life he has place to call home. “Although building a few times. It is massive. worked extremely hard. Early on, the weather in Boston is too cold It is very beautiful. I really like he displayed his work ethic by tak- in the winter, Texas was too hot how much easier it is for the deliv- Senior Editors: John Bartlett ‘14, Dan Fulham ‘14, Jack Goldman ‘14, ing night shifts at a Boston-based in the summer, so it was crazy ery trucks to deliver to us behind company, but now it is through sometimes. We decided to live the cafeteria now.” At first he was Christian Kelly ‘14, Will Kenney ‘14 surviving the St. Sebastian’s lunch through the cold rather than live overwhelmed with a few things Apprentice Editors: Crimson Typhoon, Gypsy Danger, Your Dad, Dick Cheney rush. in the blazing heat, so we made over the first weeks of the school In the 2012-2013 school Boston our home again.” Ka has year, including his new manager, Head/Feature Writers: Caleb Aldrich ‘14, Niko Fischer ‘14, Shane year at St. Sebastians, something fortunately made his way back to Chef Mike. But Ka, being the mas- McDonald ‘14, Connor Murray ‘14 was missing. With students and Boston and describes his family ter he is, has comfortably adjusted faculty moving into the brand as doing well, with his wife doing to his new surroundings. new science and math building, excellent and his baby success- Ka is a humble man and CONTRIBUTORS: Chris Callahan ‘14, Jay Daukas ‘14, Cameron Kelly ‘14, some of the newcomers to Sebs fully recovering from a complex he is often quite reserved. He loves Owen Kehoe ‘14, Jack Adams ‘15, Edgar Escobar ‘15, Daniel Higgins ‘15, may not have noticed a change. infantile illness. St. Sebastians for all it’s worth as But those who had been at Sebs With his family’s overall he takes pride in the fact that he Justin Lee ‘15, Ryan Lee ‘15, Billy McCarthy ‘15, Patrick McGowan ‘15, Ryan before last school year identified health in good shape, Ka is back annually watches the Homecoming McGuirk ‘15, Jimmy Mitchell ‘15, Angus O’Rourke ‘15, John Ryan ‘15, Chris- the change the minute they walked on the grind, flying through the sporting events and has dreams of tian Santosuosso ‘15, Will Supple ‘15, Chris Wolpe ‘15, David Korzienowski into the lunchroom on that first dishes and making a huge impact making it out to one of the playoff ‘16, Stevie Karol ‘17, Tyler Wiik ‘15, Andrew Elcock ‘16, Jackson McKiegue ‘16, Friday of school. Ka Nguyen was in the cafeteria. One may wonder hockey games. A student may Jack McCool ‘16, Austin O’Shea ‘16 gone. The outgoing man was a how Ka can do it so fast, but he not pick up on it easily, but Ka mainstay in the kitchen at Sebs. assures us that all of his efficient goes out of his way often to get to He was the fastest dish cleaner work comes from “many years of know the names of people around as far as anyone was concerned experience.” school. When asked how he knew and he was masterful at what he But therein lies a method so many names from school, Ka Editors Emeritus: Mickey Adams ‘13, Peter DeMatteo ‘13, Michael Hoff ‘13, did. Doing dishes was Ka’s art. to his madness: “In your mind you confidently responded, “It’s just Whether the dishes were splattered must imagine ahead of time how about my memory. Yeah, I have Kevin Patterson ‘13, Mike Petro ‘13, with tacos or the bowls were filled you are going to organize all of the always had an awesome memory.” Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan Drummond with clam chowder, Ka always had dishes and silverware in order to Three interesting things everything in order. Unfortunately, make it easy for yourself.” that Ka wants everyone to know before he left, no one was really Most do not know that are that he wants to learn the The Walrus is the official student newspaper of St. Sebastian’s School. The Walrus able to wish him goodbye and Ka, like many a Sebs student, is names of everybody in the school, seeks to provide news and entertainment for the St. Sebastian’s community, as well as wish him safe travels. He left Sebs a man with multiple talents. It that he learns names much faster to provide an open forum for students to offer opinions on issues related to world, na- last year before most anyone was flew under the radar for a while, in The Pit (the dishroom), and that gracious and outgoing enough to but Ka actually cooks for the during lunch periods he frequently tional, and school affairs. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect opin- truly thank him for his service to Sebs students in addition to do- gets to know people when restock- ions of the faculty advisors or senior editors of The Walrus or of St. Sebastian’s School. the school. ing dishes for most of the lunch ing the salad bar. Go out of your Correspondence to The Walrus should be addressed to The Walrus, c/o St. Sebas- On his year abroad, Ka periods. His claims to fame are his way to get to know Ka. He is an tian’s School, 1191 Greendale Avenue, Needham, MA, 02492. Senior Editors and produc- and his family, including his very curry chicken and his cucumber awesome person, so look for him tion staff reserve the right to reject, edit, or admit any or all submissions. To submit an young baby daughter, ventured to salad, which are at times prepared in the lunch room when you get a the massive state of Texas. by him on school grounds. Ka is chance. article, visit the Walrus page, found on the student portal of our beautiful school web- “My family went to Texas seemingly a master of all aspects site. October 2013 THE WALRUS Page 3 The Saint Sebastian’s Academia Draft Class of 2013 Mr. Foley Ms. Uhlman A – The transition was very graceful. why? the far corner of the school, beside the A: I’ve been involved in music since All the other faculty members have A – A liger, just because. rotunda. It is in this lab that we had my days in elementary school. I play been able to help me through and Q – Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa? Dunkin the privilege of interviewing her. a little bit of violin and some piano. settle in. It is almost just as fun as a Donuts or Starbucks? In college, I joined a marimba band. student though; I love being able to be A – Tea and Dunkin. Q: Where are you from? I just found out that we have some here and teach. Q – What is your favorite movie, A: I’m from a suburb close to New- marimba drums here, and I’ve since Q – What was your time at BC like book, tv show, and actor? ark, New Jersey. gotten in touch with Mr. Grohmann compared to your Sebs years? A – Miracle, Old Man and the Sea, about the music scene around cam- A – The biggest difference was the and West Wing, and Dennis Quaid, Q: Where did you go to college? pus. I might join the jazz band. I’m humor. I was able to find a good path he’s just a father figure in every mov- A: I went to Williams College as a also going to help out with the Ski because my freshman roommate was ie. physics major. team. I like watching “How I Met a friend from Sebs. But I did find Q – What is your go-to app? Your Mother”, but I’m only on sea- myself becoming good friends with A – (Cried into his Blackberry) Q: Why did you choose to join the St. son two. I like hanging out – is that the other students who came from all Q – Have any ideas for the upcoming Sebastian’s community? a hobby? Ultimate Frisbee was in- By CHRIS WOLPE ‘15, boys schools. Halloween? A: I got a really good vibe when I was vented at my high school. I dabbled Q – Where did you get the nickname A – Mercutio. By BILLY McCARTHY interviewing for the position. Our in it at college. I’m pretty bad, but I JACK ADAMS ‘15 “Holy Foley”? Q – Would you rather fight 100 duck- ‘15, CHRISTIAN SANTO- year’s theme of community really really like it. A – It was from my 8th grade chapel sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck? fits my first impression. I noticed that While wandering the halls between speech. I chose to write about my A – Really? Where do you come up classes or after school, one might SUOSSO ‘15 there is a lot of support, a strong sense Q: What might the St. Sebastian’s faith and how it affected and played with these? I would choose the 100 It seems, in a rather humorous way, stumble upon a new face. No, that of camaraderie, and a lot of warmth community not know about you? a role in my life. The Catholic aspect duck sized horses and being a good appropriate that a school boasting new face you see around campus and love. The school seemed excited A: Sometimes I like to do impressions of Sebs is why I chose to come here, speaker I would turn about 30-40 of a new science facility should fill its isn’t Pavel Datsyuk and it isn’t even to have me, which was awesome. of others. and now I’m teaching religion. them against the others and by the end labs with new teachers. Ms. Olivia a dark-haired Wayne Rooney. No, I wanted to try teaching and Sebs Q – How are you liking coaching JV I’d only have to fight like 40 left. Uhlman is one of the science de- we’re talking about Mr. Foley, the seemed like a good place to start. Q: Mr. Cressoti attended Amherst. Is soccer? Q – Pepsi or Coca Cola? partment’s many new additions. The “new” member of the St. Sebastians there any tension between the two of A – Its so fun. Its three times as fun A – Canada Dry. twenty-three year old graduate of Wil- community. A religion teacher by Q: What do you like about Sebs? you? as playing. I was a good player, never Q – Autobot or Decepticon? liams College hails from the suburbs day and a Sir Alex Ferguson-esque A: My colleagues are very helpful. I A: There’s no tension…yet. I think we great and now I think I can be even A – Autobot. of Newark, New Jersey. She teaches JV soccer coach by afternoon, Mr. get questions answered that I don’t probably have more in common than more effective as a coach. Q – Do you have sports allegences? both eighth grade science and phys- Foley actually isn’t at all new to St. even think to ask. Everybody knows you’d think. Our schools are actually Q – What is your favorite lunch? A – First I have to put BC hockey ics. In addition, she will coach the Sebs. After graduating from Sebs in who I am; other faculty members so similar. Realistically, he probably Who is your favorite faculty member? up top. Then it’s the Bruins and Red Ski Team, and will (read: might) vol- 2009 and graduating Boston College seemed to know almost everything had the same four years that I did. A – Its got to be breakfast. And for Sox. untarily impersonate any member of last spring, it didn’t take Mr. Foley about me even before I introduced teacher, my advisor, Mr. Rogers. Q – Cat or dog? the science department upon request. long to return to his roots, which myself. Here, everyone is so welcom- Q: What is the secret to the mousetrap Q – What are your hobbies? A – Dog. Ms. Uhlman’s transition from student welcomed him back with open arms. ing and eager to get to know you. Stu- car? A – I play Fifa and I try to implement Q – What is your dream job? to teacher has been smooth, and she Anyone who has talked to Mr. Foley dents are well-behaved, responsible, A: I wish I could tell you. It’s a tough Fifa commentary into real life and A – Living it. is no longer a stranger to the St. Se- knows just how kind a person he is. and eager to work. assignment. I’m excited to help my practice. I also like to read biogra- We would like to thank Mr. Foley for bastian’s community. Her classroom A great teacher and coach, and an students figure it out. phies, they are my favorite. his time. It was a pleasant interview – the middle school lab – is tucked in Q: What are your hobbies? even finer mentor, Mr. Foley has al- Q – Who’s your favorite Fifa club, and hopeful that the conversations ready begun to weave his thread into country, player, and skill move. filled with FIFA innuendo can con- the variegated tapestry that is St. Se- A – Um Bolton Wanderers, Ireland, tinue through out the year. If you are bastians. Taking a few minutes out of Robbie Keane, and the McGeady reading still at this point, make a point Mr. Cleary our hectic schedules, we were able to spin. to reach out and introduce yourself to zine, and was an officer in a bunch of J.M. Coetzee. He’s a South African sit down with Mr. Foley and ask him Q – Do you have any pet peeves? Mr. Foley. You will be happy you clubs. It was fun! author; he won the Nobel Prize for some quality and deep questions. A – Mesh shorts without pockets, did, and grateful for meeting such an Literature a few years ago. Q – How do your experiences as a they are the worst. upbeat, genuinely happy, kind man. DK: What college did you go to? teacher differ from those as a student? Q – What animal would you be an Glad to have you back at Sebs, Mr. SC: Tufts University. It was actually DK: Favorite movie? Foley. a couple blocks from where I went to SC: I’m a big Wes Anderson fan. My high school. favorite movie of his is probably Life Ms. Simms Aquatic; it’s kind of a strange movie. asked about how she likes teaching What attracted Ms. Simms DK: What attracted you to St. Sebas- different grades Ms. Simms said, “I to St Sebastian’s was Sebs’ academic tian’s? DK: Favorite comic book hero? really enjoy teaching different grades. excellence and capacity for learning, SC: Well, I had just come back from SC: I’m a big fan of Batman. He’s I see how curious and eager the 7th but once she got her she realized how grad school, and one of the things that fairly multifaceted, although he’s a graders are to learn while the AP Bio important the concept of community attracted me was that I knew a couple kind of a little to rich for my taste. His students have a stronger sense of ur- was to this school. She felt welcomed teachers here already. And, I wanted parents did die, though. gency and are more committed.” A right away by her students and her to have a new experience. I had been little background on our new Biology fellow faculty members. It is a great teaching before at a public school, a DK: If you could have a superpower, teacher, Ms. Simms grew up in Mil- teaching environment for her to help middle school, and I thought St. Sebs what would it be? ton, MA, where she attended Milton her students succeed especially now By DAVID KORZIENOWSKI would be a great place to come to. SC: I don’t really like superheroes High School. After high school, she with the new addition of the Math ‘16 You know, good community, great with superpowers. I’d have to go with moved onto Smith College to pursue and Science Building. With state of teachers, and great English staff here. Sherlock Holmes’ sense of deduction. `The following is in inter- a major in neuroscience. Ms. Simms the art equipment, she does not have Although that’s not really a super- view with Mr. Sean Cleary, a new then attended BU Medical School and to go far to have the chance to teach DK: You mentioned earlier that you power. It’s pretty close, though. English teacher here at St. Sebas- Emmanuel College School of Ad- her students everything they need to played hockey and golf. Are those tian’s. He teaches in Mr. Dan Burke’s mission and Education because she know about biology. Another impor- your favorite sports to watch? DK: To close out the interview, who old room (room 217). By PATRICK McGOWAN wanted to become a teacher one day. tant factor that this school brings to SC: I’d say baseball’s my favorite is your least favorite member of the Teaching, especially high school stu- the table are the small class sizes. Ms. sport to watch. faculty? David Korzeniowski: To start off ‘15 dents, really attracts Ms. Simms be- Simms enjoys how every single stu- SC: I don’t know. Myself. Every fall, St. Sebastians where did you grow up? cause she enjoys breaking down com- dent is given the proper attention they DK: Who is your favorite author? There you have it. The new Mr. School welcomes the new students Sean Cleary: I grew up in Cambrdige, plex scientific ideas into much more need to succeed in these classes. SC: My favorite author right now is Cleary (not the history teacher and teachers to the community. At the MA and went to Matignon High simple components that she can teach Ms. Simms’ studies of the Roberto Bolaño. He’s a Chilean au- Cleary). If you get a chance, swing by first corporate chapel, the new sev- School, which is a small Catholic to students. brain also relate to her enjoyment as thor. He and this other author, César his room and introduce yourself. We enth graders sit in their pews of the school in Cambridge. I played hockey Ms. Simms’s main interest a teacher. She believes that every stu- Aira, who is also really good. He’s look forward to the all the years ahead church trying to envision their next and golf there, wrote on the school in neuroscience is the brain, about dent is different and, therefore, they Argentinian. But, for English lan- in which Mr. Cleary will be a part of six years at St. Sebs. The people that newspaper, edited the literary maga- which she has published numerous learn in different ways. Also, with the guage authors, I’d have to go with our community. really help the students get the most articles and essays. After constructing small class sizes Ms. Simms is able to out of their experience at St. Sebas- an essay called the “Anterior Cingu- get to know her students on a personal tians, both mentally and spiritually, Mr. Cavanaugh late Cortex in Post-Mortem Brain Tis- level, thus helping her students suc- who went to Seb’s, about 8 of them, help. We’re going through the same are the teachers. Teachers explore dif- sue in Autism” she had it published ceed. Ms. Simms started her teaching so I thought it was a big school since thing, we’re teaching the same classes, ferent subjects throughout the day, so in “Journal Pathological” where dif- career at Notre Dame Academy in so many kids went to Holy Cross, but so we bounce ideas off each other. when the students are ready to gradu- ferent scientists would read and cri- Hingham and began a club called the I was surprised to find it a very small JR- What are some of your ate they are prepared to pursue their tique it. From there, she went to the Neuroscience Network. In this club, school. My sister is close friends with favorite sports teams? calling in life. One of the new teach- Neuroscience/Autism Conference and students travel to MIT in February for Mike Schell, so he was the one who JC- I am a Boston sports fan, ers here whose goal is to help build collaborated with several other sci- the “Brain Bee” where they compete informed me about the open position so the Bruins and Patriots, as well as a strong, academic background is Ms. entists from around the country. Ms. against different schools on different here at Seb’s. So, I found out about the Red Sox. I love watching any pro Simms. Simms is a big believer in collabora- scientific topics. The club also studies Seb’s through my classmates and hockey. Currently part of the sci- tion within the science world, another the internal and external outreach in Mike Schell. JR- What were your favorite ence faculty here at Sebs, Ms. Simms reason why she enjoys teaching: “The the brain, so if anybody from grades JR- Where were you born, subjects in school? teaches AP Biology, 9th grade Biol- more minds and diversity of thought 7-12 want to study the brain stop Ms. where did you grow up, and where JC- History and Theology. I ogy, and 7th grade science. When the better for science.” Simms’ room. did you go to college? was a history major at Holy Cross, in JC- I grew up in Warwick, self-proclaimed Catholic studies. Rhode Island, about 20 minutes from JR- What is your favorite everywhere in RI. I then went to the band and favorite song? Mr. Hinman College of the Holy Cross. JC- The Killers. My older the helm of the basketball program, something he said was very important, By JOHN RYAN ‘15 JR- What do you like most brother got my whole family into he led the school to three league titles as both he and his wife fitting right in At the end of each year, stu- about Seb’s? them. I also like Mumford and Sons and five NEPSAC tournaments. With at their new jobs, the latter taking a job dents always wonder which teachers JC- I know this year’s theme and have seen them live. They sound such success at Taft, one might ask at Dexter this school year. With both won’t be returning the following year. is community and I can see that all the great live. My favorite song would be why he jumped on the opportunity to parents settled, the Hinman children And, unfortunately, since we don’t students make an effort to get along. Mr. Brightside, by The Killers. return to Needham. “It was really an seem to be just as happy to patrol the want to see our friends leave, some There are no cliques; they are all one JR- What is your favorite easy descision for me,” Hinman said. turf fields as their father. Many Friday teachers will inevitably be leaving at big family. I am really impressed at book? “My Father taught at the Holderness afternoons, you can see the two boys the end of the year. In recent years, what I have seen so far. JC- A book I have read re- School so I grew up at the school, and trying their best to bring down the there seem to have been a few more, JR- What classes do you cently that I enjoyed would have to be By RYAN LEE ‘15 my own kids were growing up on the tackling dummies on the side of the especially from the Theology depart- teach? John Adams, by David McCullough. ment, with only Fr. Arens, Mr. Eaton, JC- I teach seventh and It was the telling of history. It was This fall, the St. Sebas- Taft campus, and my wife and I were field. When asked if the two would and Mr. Schell as Theology teachers eighth grade religion, so the Introduc- thorough and moves well. tian’s campus has had the return of a hoping to move back to the Boston take their talents to Greendale Ave in at Seb’s three years ago. As a result, tion to the Catholic Church and the JR- Any fun facts about former friend and coach, Mr. David area.” Mr. Hinman seemed to find a few years, their proud father replied a new bunch of teachers have come History of the Catholic Church. yourself that you want Sebs’ people to Hinman. Over this past summer, Mr. Sebs at the best time possible. With that it “definitely isn’t out of the pic- in, with Mr. Tull and Mr. J. Cressotti JR- What sports did you know? Hinmann returned to our Needham Mr. Sullivan handling the Athletic ture.” arriving last year. This year, there play in high school/college? JC- I am the second youngest campus after a fourteen year hiatus to Director duties, he was essentially This year, Mr. Hinman is are two new teachers, Mr. Foley and JC- I played hockey and of nine children. And I am the fourth become athletic director and a mem- fulfilling two full time positions each hoping to chip in his own thoughts Mr. Cavanagh, the former of whom then golf in my free time. I am get- person in my family to go to Holy ber of the math department. While in day, having to also assume his role as from the bench, if he can fit it into his was a Seb’s graduate, and the latter ting better at golf. Cross. graduate school at Boston University, dean of Students. With the addition of busy schedule. Specifically, he would of whom was a Holy Cross graduate. JR- What sports are you go- JR- Any final words? Hinman coached football, basket- Mr. Hinman, Mr. Sullivan can now love to test his talents on the court and I had the privilege to interview Mr. ing to coach? JC- Seb’s has been great so ball and lacrosse at Sebs from 1997 fully commit himself to his job of fa- the diamond, coaching basketball and James Cavanagh and ask him a few JC- It is unclear whether I far. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere through 1999. Since first coaching at miliarizing the student body with the baseball respectively. It seems like Mr. questions about himself and his teach- will be coaching in the spring, but one else.” Sebs, Hinman returned to Taft School iron fist of authority. Hinman is right at home, even though ing position at Seb’s: of the hockey teams in the winter. where he had previously worked. He With the same position just he has only been around the commu- John Ryan- Mr. Cavanagh, JR- Which of your col- So let us welcome Mr. Ca- taught math, ran the Athletic Depart- in a different environment, Mr. Hin- nity for a month. A welcome may be how did you learn about Seb’s? leagues do you admire most? vanagh and all the other new teachers ment, and rose to be head basketball man felt right at home, showing his in order, but a better way of putting it Mr. Cavanagh- At Holy JC- Mike Foley: he’s anoth- with open arms, in accordance with coach at the school. In his tenure at face at nearly every preseason football would be welcome back and welcome practice. Feeling right at home was home Mr. Hinman. Cross, I had a bunch of classmates er new teacher. He has been a huge this year’s theme of community. Page 4 THE WALRUS October 2013 CINEMA WITH SHANE Rush: Like Pixar’s Cars, But This Time, It’s Real By SHANE McDONALD ‘14 FEATURE WRITER Normally I am completely against car racing films, but “Rush” is good. Based on the true life racing rivalry between Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl) and James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth), Lauda, who is naturally a as an opportunity to gain ground on “Rush” takes us into the fast paced smarter and better racer than Hunt, his opponent. The ensuing races to life of formula one race car driving. takes the helm as world cham- decide the world champ make for an The movie is set in the pion. Lauda’s victories on the track action-packed ending. 1960’s. The beginning chronicles overshadow Hunt as a racer. Hunt The racing scenes were the protagonist Niki Lauda’s rise to is dropped by his sponsors and left awesome and lent great life to the fame and power in the industry. The searching for a route back into the film. The movie is all about speed small, clever, and conniving racer game after years of wasting his po- and near death experiences, sure to knows everything there is to know tential. Hunt displays no true love for appeal to the action film fan. “Rush” about cars. His passion for the sport the sport of racing but instead shows also appeals to the more traditional is second to none. a clear love of alcohol and women. drama-minded movie goer as well. Simultaneously while The values each driver holds most Fierce tension between rivals en- watching Lauda’s climb to the top dear to themselves could not be more hances the stakes at each race. of the racing world, the viewer is opposite, causing for a great rivalry. Overall I would give introduced to the movie’s second McLaren takes a chance on “Rush” 3 stars out of 5. I can’t give protagonist, James Hunt. Hunt the young and wild Hunt in hopes any racing movie over 4 stars, simply displays exceptional raw talent as a that he can tame his ways and be- because I feel that they can never be racer, but his party-boy mentality and come the world champion that he has that good. Great drama and action fill massive ego get in the way of his true potential to be. A second chance at the beginning and middle portions of potential. Everything comes easy to the game is all Hunt needs. Hunt and the movie, but the acting at the end Hunt, sharply contrasting the life of Lauda spark fierce competition on the is quite corny and cliched. Generally Michael Scott’s replacement turned master criminal gets cuffed on another NBC series. Lauda. Lauda stands for everything track but Niki still is the clear number speaking, however, “Rush” appeals Hunt doesn’t: work ethic, discipline, one, but all this changes in an instant. to the average movie goer in a good self-control. However, if there is An accident on the track way. So, I reccomend this film to one quality both racers share, it is seriously injures Lauda, causing him anyone who is just looking to watch New Fall Show: The Blacklist competitiveness. The competitive to leave the racing life for a period a movie, or something to do during nature each of driver holds within of a few months. Hunt feels person- an open afternoon. “Rush” is an Promising Pilot Bodes Well For Series themselves is remarkable; the true ally responsible for the accident but exciting movie that I would not mind Emmy Award for Outstanding Reality being planned in Washington D.C. sign of a champion. still takes Lauda’s exit from the game watching a second time. By WILL SUPPLE ‘15 TV Program in late September. within the next few days. Together, If you don’t pay attention to TV The Blacklist, a thrilling the unlikely duo works on uncover- as much as I do (and odds are you drama about a government agent ing the scheme of terrorist Ranko probably don’t), then you may be turned fugitive, who mysteriously Zimani. The rest of the plotlines of unaware that NBC is desperate for turns himself into the FBI, is NBC’s the pilot (without giving anything viewers. Since their late 1990s to most buzzed-about new fall show. It away) include the abduction of a early 2000s glory days when Sein- stars James Spader (Boston Legal, young girl, and the dismantling of a feld, Friends, and ER were dominat- The Office) as the aforementioned suicide bomb. The end of the episode ing their timeslots, there has been a agent Raymond “Red” Redding- delivers not one, but two promising sharp decline in NBC viewership. ton, and Megan Boone (relatively plot twists that actually did make me For a number of years, they steadily unknown besides a role in the short- want to continue watching. fell into fourth in network televi- lived Law & Order: Los Angeles) as While the pilot of The sion ratings behind CBS, ABC, and FBI Special Agent Elizabeth Keen, Blacklist is not as arresting as that Fox. They hit an all-time low last a profiler, new to the bureau, and the of Lost or 24, it still packs a punch fall when they came in fifth place. only person to whom Reddington will and the twists at the end were very Univision jumped up to fourth in the speak. enticing. The chemistry between network ratings. If you’re wondering The pilot episode was Spader and Boone needs a little more what Univision is, it is the Spanish- viewed by 12.58 million people, developing, but overall this episode speaking channel that comes on with Season 5 of The Voice serving left an overwhelmingly positive first when you accidentally sit down on as a strong lead-in. It begins with impression. If you’re looking for a the remote. The only glimmer of Reddington turning himself into the little excitement on a dull Monday hope NBC has is their reality singing FBI and demanding to speak only evening, turn on The Blacklist on show The Voice, which is on the to Special Agent Keen. He claims to NBC at 10:00 pm. It will be worth climb in the ratings after winning the have information on a terrorist attack the investmentment. Chris Hemsworth pops bottles to celebrate the release of his better than decent movie. Who Wore It Better? Sebs Edition Due to the fact that fashion sense is paramount at St. Sebs, we’re enlisting the help of Stop Saying These Things. Please. the Student Body in deciding who truly wore it better. Shirt-Tie Combos, sweaters, boat These Jokes Aren’t Funny Anymore, You Guys shoes, facial hair, even socks: Here is your one-stop shop for fashion competition: By WILL KENNEY ‘14 2011 was defined by the rise turning triple digits in December. Just and fall of Conor Duffy’s catchphrase don’t do it anymore. Please. I’m beg- SENIOR EDITOR “10-2 real quick guy, man.” The “10-2” ging you. As everyone knows, Sebs is a haven refers to someone’s level on the excite- Finally, the word and joke for the male teenager’s humor. As a ment scale, and that they definitely that has defined the St. Sebastians place where 12 to 18 year old boys have to take it down at least 80%. If student’s humor for nearly all of gather for 8 hours per day, five days anyone got even a little bit excited or my high school career: Hardo. Also per week, it’s a given that those en- amped about anything, you could expect pronounced “hahdo,” this word was tering this sanctuary of smut will hear multiple people to chime in with a quick introduced to the St. Sebastians com- some very questionable jokes. St. Se- “10-2 guy,” which really was a major munity by then student body presi- bastians students sometimes seem to blow to that kid’s self esteem. That dent Patrick McLaughlin ’12, and live by a code for their humor, taken phrase died out as quickly as it appeared, proceeded to run rampant through the from the popular game Assassin’s however, as nobody really thought it was halls like seniors on Halloween. It is Creed: “Nothing is true, everything is that funny. an incredibly versatile joke, but it is permitted.” Now to the big jokes. These also extraordinarily overused. A well- As my four years spent in specific jokes deserve to be tossed into placed “hardo” can do wonders, but high school here at Sebs are soon a pack of wild dogs and burned alive for when a student says that he is about coming to an end, I believe it is how overused they have become. They to do something involving even the the time to retire some of the many are not funny, yet they have not died. It’s tiniest amount of work, and he is met overused jokes here at Sebs. Some time to bring about a reckoning, a humor with a chorus of “Hardoooooo” from have already become extinct, while cleansing never seen by human eyes his classmates, its comedic value others continue to thrive day in and before. It’s time for the Jokageddon. ceases to exist. We got to be better day out. Others are endangered, only The first joke that needs to than that, boys. We have to come seen in the rarest or most ironic oc- be destroyed on the same scale of an up with something new, something casions. First we’ll pay homage to ant hill under a magnifying glass is the vivid, at least. When teachers are the already extinct jokes, many that “Which dad?” joke. This really applies starting to occasionally use the word, passed away before their time, and only to the senior class, and I have to that’s when you know it’s gone too Luke Murphy ‘14 then we’ll move on to those that must recognize a blatant lapse in judgment on far. It must be destroyed. be destroyed with sodium-chloride my part for being one of the main people That’s it, boys. Let’s find OR level efficiency. to introduce this joke to my classmates. something new. As St. Sebastians First off, here’s a quick but Guys, whenever I, or anyone else for students, it is our God-given duty necessary shout out to the saying that matter, make a point about my dad, to be the comedic innovators of the Mr. T ? “Love That,” also pronounced “Lahv please stop responding with “Which ISL. Let’s make something new, and Thaat.” This saying defined my fresh- one?” I don’t have two dads, guys. I’m then run it into the ground until it’s at men year, turning everything that was pretty sure nobody in the school has the point where I’ll be featuring it in only half decent to absolutely incred- two dads. I have one dad, his name is another article at the end of this year ible. It also made a lot of kids hate Thomas Joseph Kenney Jr., and if you under the same title as this one. That the sound of my voice, so that may need a colonoscopy, feel free to give him is our duty as Sebs students, and as have contributed to its short-lived a call. The joke has gotten about as old Americans. career. as my great-grandmother, and she is 99,

Stop it, guys. No, really. This is what you look like when you do this. Stop. October 2013 THE WALRUS Page 5 Red Sox: Do We Care Anymore? By RYAN LEE ‘15, there is. The only reason why I watch less of their tremendous feat, the Red the MLB playoffs is to see Curt Schil- Sox are slowly losing interest from JIMMY MITCHELL ‘15 ling on Baseball Tonight flip out for their fan base. Ever since the Curse After a year filled with disap- no reason.” When Tyson Mattox was of the Bambino was reversed in 2004 pointments and organizational chang- asked about the playoffs his answer by the Red Sox winning their first title es, the Boston Red Sox came into the was “……” showing his enthusiastic in 86 years, baseball has been losing 2013 season with low expectations. approach to this year’s playoffs. Our interest in New England. Many Bos- Even with the offseason acquisitions school President Christian “Spike” ton fans get bored of the long and te- of Shane Victorino, Mike Napoli, Kelly answered, “No, I don’t watch dious games that have limited action Koji Uehara, Jonny Gomes, and oth- sports. The last time I watched sports or appeal. They’d rather watch more ers, many baseball insiders projected was when I watched Warrior starring action packed and thrilling teams like the Red Sox to finish at the bottom of Tom Hardy. AKA Bane. AKA me.” the Patriots, Bruins, or Celtics. These the American League East. However, The students obviously don’t have teams play less frequently than the with a balanced offensive attack, con- much interest, as it seems that no one Red Sox and are more interesting. sistent starting pitching, and a lock in the St. Sebastian’s school cares Also, fans don’t want to spend time down bullpen, the Red Sox enjoyed about the playoffs. Owen Finnegan watching the many games that are at a remarkable turn around from a year said, “Why would I care? It’s just a least three hours long throughout the ago and won the American League bunch of gross dudes with beards hit- course of a season. Sadly enough, East while finishing with the best re- ting balls with wooden sticks.” Clear- whether people admit it or not, in a Such a question has been posed for centuries: what, in fact, does the Fawx say? cord in baseball. Even though the Red ly, from the interviews of a few mem- place which was once considered one Sox have had incredible success with bers of the St. Sebastian’s community, of the great baseball cities, baseball is low expectations, as the playoffs loom the Red Sox and Major League Base- losing the interest of fans. Red Sox na- Dance of the Fawx: Victory is Ours in sight, many “fans” claim to have ball playoffs are irrelevant in the tion is waning and fading, and many By JUSTIN LEE ‘15, TYLER according to the entire freshman class Ward Hall. Outdated as well as origi- little or no interest in their hometown minds of many. fans don’t bother watching the games in attendance. Along with the fresh- nal dance moves were introduced, song team or the playoffs as a whole. Despite their success in the anymore, even the playoffs. Since the WIIK ‘15 man, in attendance was a strong band lyrics were shouted, and even the shark The student body has been regular season, even with the team’s Red Sox have won the World Series On September 20th, St. Se- of sophomores, juniors, and a few tooth necklace of Cedric Depestre ’15 asked about its interest in the Red Sox two championships in the past ten in 2004 and 2007, fans aren’t desper- bastian’s once again hosted the annual well-respected seniors. Despite the made an appearance. making a deep postseason run and years, many casual fans don’t seem ate anymore for a championship. Even Fall Dance. For the seniors, juniors, upsetting attendance the fall dance The reviews following the possibly winning the World Series. to care about their beloved Boston though the team is still competitive and sophomores, seasoned veterans was coming off of last year in terms dance were mostly positive (the few Chris Wolpe said, “I only have inter- Red Sox as they begin their playoff and in the running for another ring, the when it comes to Sebs events, it was of females, the dance made a come- critiques being on the lack of food). est in the Red Sox because they are run. The Red Sox’s turnaround from great Red Sox Nation is disintegrating another classic Sebs dance. For the back. In addition, this year’s dance Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and doing well. Do I watch baseball? No. a year ago is arguably the best story before our very eyes. freshman, it was a rite of passage into witnessed a spike in exotic attire. Vi- seniors alike all expressed their ap- I am the biggest MLB bandwagon fan in the 2013 baseball season. Regard- St. Sebastian manhood. kings, Elves, Peacocks, Girl Scouts proval of this years’ dance. Upon be- The dance came alive with and even rumored Jellyfish appeared ing asked what he had to say about this the sounds and lights of music phenom in Ward Hall. While oddly out of year’s dance, Chris Wolpe ’15 replied, DJ Fawx (aka Austin Lewis ‘14), who place, their presence was welcomed “The admission was $8; the experience was the highlight of this year’s shindig. and possibly envied as numerous Vi- was priceless.” The general consensus Describing the dance, he stated, “A lot king hats and satchels began to appear of the student body followed in a simi- of people came out this year, and it upon the bodies of St. Sebastian’s stu- lar fashion. Among some of the most seemed to me like they all had a good dents over the course of the night. enthusiastic at the dance were Timothy time.” He also emphasized his enthusi- The dance began slowly Murphy ’16 and, as always, Thaddeus asm for possibly performing at future as always, with separate bands of Kennedy ’17. Timothy Murphy, in a events for the school. He certainly people lurking, staring at opposing rush to JV soccer, declined answering has the public approval for another packs. However, as the funky beats questions aside from leaving one re- performance. When asked about their of Austin Lewis and the spectacle of mark: “It may or may not have been opinions regarding the dance, most his lights began to set in, the pack the best night of my life.” This com- students commented on the musical mentality soon vanished. Presenting ment was said with a straight face, of excellence of DJ Fawx. His personal the dancegoers with his energetic, course, for he spoke the truth. enthusiasm set the tone for the dance, party inspiring music, DJ Fawx was The entire student body and his music kept the night going. As able to conduct a rave within our holy would like to especially thank DJ one anonymous fan stated, “DJ Fawx walls. Never before was there such an Fawx, the Student Council, and the reminds me of a young mixture of Avi- adrenaline-inciting, blood-pumping, faculty that made this night possibe. cii and DJ Snake.” With the skill of a thrill-filling dance, due to this year’s Without such devotion to the school professional, DJ Fawx kept the crowd performance of a student rather than and making St. Sebastian’s the best it dancing the entire night. someone hired to play contemporary can be, none of this would have been Moreover, the dance itself pop music. In fact, Mr. Digan lost possible. Now, all eyes are set on the was a success, being revered as one of himself in the moment and broke out next dance. Will it be able to top this the best dances of our time—at least the dance moves in the windows of fall’s? Red Sox players congratulate a fellow beard on an impressive hit on their way to the postseason. Op-Ed: Why the Lounge Lost Its Cool game during a free or after school. when I walk by the lounge on my way By NIKO FISCHER ‘14 On numerous occasions the to first period, I cannot help but real- HEAD WRITER lounge is closed to students, mostly ize that it is empty. The popular spots due to misconduct with the furniture in the school have changed. No longer What happened to the rowdy or equipment. Inconsistent availabil- are there students in the lounge first kids watching Sportscenter, munching ity and the sterile atmosphere has, in thing in the morning, trying to scheme down as many Poptarts as humanly part, caused the demise of the lounge. a snack out of the machine. Now possible while completing that last As a result, the lounge mostly houses people flock to the library, harass Fa- piece of homework on the first floor? random pieces of clothing that have ther Paris, and try to sneak in a quick “The Lounge” has now become one been misplaced or left behind. Addi- Dunkin Donuts breakfast. big empty lost and found that has seen tionally, the lack of desk space where So what will the future hold it’s better days. Despite the school’s students can sit together and work has for the lounge? Perhaps it is time to attempt to refurbish it and bring it back lead many to seek alternative spaces to repurpose, reuse, and recycle. With to life, the lounge suffers from a lack hang out and collaborate on projects. a new, comfortable, light library that of desk space and areas for students Many now go to the library. is conducive to work and socializing, to talk. Instead, it is an uninviting en- Students using the library rather the lounge has become less inviting. vironment with durable, but not very than the lounge in their free time has Rather than letting the lounge be- comfortable, chairs lining the walls. caused it to seem like a playground at come a lost and found for moldy old The TV seems to have a times instead of a quiet study space. gym clothes and wrinkled oxfords, mind of it’s own -- sometimes it The new library is very popular and the chairs could be arranged in a man- works and sometimes it doesn’t. You attracts lots of students that may have ner that invites conversations among can count on watching Sportscenter gone to the lounge in the past. The in- students while having a snack and about 50% of the time. When balls and creased number of students in the new drink. Adding a couple tables that can paddles can be found, which is not a library has at times overwhelmed the be used for a quick game of chess or given, the ping-pong table is monopo- The lounge, once a great monument to students being able to own nice things, is dying. staff there. cards might also add to the atmosphere lized by the upperclassmen. The net When I was a seventh grader in the lounge. Ultimately, the space is another variable, often in a state of at Sebs, the lounge offered a place to could be used for more raucous enter- disrepair. All this makes it difficult to get a snack from the vending machine tainment that would not be appropriate relax while watching TV or to play a THE and to hang out with friends. Now in the library. RARE QUESTIONNAIRE Best Lunch FDR or Reagan? New Statue? Worst part of Best Hiding Spot Teacher who survives How many angry What student Period? Back to School? at Sebs? zombie apocalypse? 5 year olds could would be the you fight at once? best gambler? Conor Berch ‘19 5th FDR It’s cool No sleeping in New computer Mr. Carr 3 or 4 Chinedu Ok- lab in library; it’s werekwu scary Jonathan Pace ‘18 5th I’m scared of Looks nice Summer reading Science materi- Mr. Cornish All of them Chris Kelly Craven als room Joe Duffy ‘17 4th Reagan Looks pretty School Under the Mr. Tull 7 Marty White good up there religion staircase Mike Rozewski ‘16 5th Reagan I like it Waking up Mini- Mr. Wilbur How many are Owen Kehoe McCulloch available? Ryan Lee ‘15 6th Reagan I’m scared of it Lunches aren’t Father Arens’ Mr. Drummond 97 Chris Wolpe good Office Matt Barletta ‘14 5th No comment Not bad No sleep I don’t want to Mr. Thomasy 1 Andrew Warner reveal my spot Mr. White 2nd half of any No comment I love it! Didn’t come Mr. Connolly’s Mr. Wilbur An infinite num- No comment period early enough room ber Page 6 THE WALRUS October 2013 POINT / COUNTERPOINT

iOS 7 is iOS 7 is Beautifully Beauteous Horrifically Horrendous “IOS 7 is neither good nor Now, for such a seemingly ANGUS O’ROURKE ‘15 V. EDGAR ESCOBAR ‘15 bad…it just is”-MacArthur Morris overwhelmingly powerful appliance, to setting up the hour, date, and ur- Tube channel, has recently figured a unified orchestra, which is iOS 7: ’15 stated as he nonchalantly leaned it is so simple. No one wants a phone Did Apple release iOS 7 as gency of the reminder. Now, you out how to bypass the passcode even an at-a-glance look at all of his or her against a book shelf in the library that confuses you with manuals and tu- a joke? Apple is delivering punch must click on an empty line, write on iOS 7.02. Anyone can have ac- notifications, emails, and messages. lines left and right: the infamous the name of the reminder, and then cess to your phone even if you have whilst exploring the apps of his newly torials—you want a phone that knows Instead of unlocking the iPhone and company released iOS 7.02 on the go through the annoying process of a passcode on it if they call someone updated iPhone. Mac’s black button you and how you operate. It knows logging into Facebook, opening the 26th of September, just eight days clicking on a little ‘i’ icon on the who has Facetime, ends the call, down shirt eerily resembled the black that you need to be on the move. Be- Email app, and Messages app, it is all after the original iOS 7 released, at- bottom right corner to set up when and immediately presses the power t-shirts worn by most of the apple ex- fore iOS 7, you had to waste your right there for you with just a swipe of testing to the hatred many had about the phone will remind you. I spent at button twice. The phone will act as ecutives in promotional videos. His time clicking on the Settings App and your finger. Christian Capello ‘15 re- iOS 7. Apple is already being criti- least 20 minutes trying to create one, though you’re still calling that per- shirt, along with the Apple executives’ scrolling through dozens upon dozens marked about how easy multitasking cized for releasing essentially the and even then I struggled to figure son, but if you were to unlock the black t-shirts, says “I don’t care if its of services, while all you needed to do is with iOS 7. You are free to see how same product every year, and iOS 7 out how to delete a reminder! phone, iOS 7 will bring you to the too casual, it just is.” Mac (and his was turn off the Wi-Fi for crying out many windows you have open and continues this streak by being exact- The GPS system has be- home screen without having to type shirt) is saying that there is no standard loud. But hey, iOS 7 will rock your can easily close them by just swiping ly the same as iOS 6… except worse. come more detailed now by includ- in the passcode. Apple is attempting that the iOS 7 had to follow, it just set world when all you have to do is flick upward, rather than holding down on The new operating system hasn’t ing buildings, but while it improves to fix this problem as well, but con- the bar for every other rival piece of up your thumb and all the controls that an app and have to keep clicking the changed much from the iOS 6. The in detail it suffers from actually func- sidering they didn’t resolve the issue technology to reach. are used the most are right at your fin- exit marker on each app, which was most notable addition is the new Ra- tioning as a GPS. Not even in Boston from the original iOS 7, it could be a The reason Apple’s iOS 7 is gertips. For instance, when you flick seen in all other previous versions dio application that creates station could iOS 7 be an adequate source while. groundbreaking is because it shattered up your thumb, airplane mode is right of the iPhones. Furthermore, if you based on genres of music and art- of directions, nor could I move the On a lighter note, but just as the definition of good and replaced it there for you. No more scared stares ists. Although I haven’t tried setting map to see exactly where the sneaky annoying, are the application colors want music versatility, IOS 7 has that with “amazing.” When turning on an from other passengers on the flight as up country stations nor pop stations, thing was taking me. By the time I that Apple chose for iOS 7. As John too. iTunes Radio allows for beautiful iPhone with iOS 7, you immediately you scramble to get your iPhone to Radio fails to recognize the differ- figured out what the GPS had been Flatley says, “It has no theme or music to brighten (or darken if your come to realize that you’re not turn- Airplane Mode while you are in flight. ence between East Coast and West doing, I had already been travelling anything, the colors make no sense.” into that sort of thing) your day free ing on a phone, but saying “yes” to an Along with this “flick” feature comes Coast Rap stations; I’ll occasionally around Copley Square in circles. By Some of the app icons are too flam- of charge and served with a smile. experience. The whole translucency quick access to the camera. You no come across a Kendrick Lamar song the way, why did Apple feel adding boyant and frankly, the bright colors So for all you Samsung of the screens and apps stimulate your longer have to play iPhone’s version of (he’s from California) on an East buildings was so necessary? I can’t make the iPhone seem ‘girly.’ Even hounds, who are currently dealing eyes and make you want to sail on the “Where’s Waldo” with the camera. You Coast rap station. The search option even see the next turn because there the iTunes Store icon seems to be with lagging problems in the Galaxy water clear screen and swim amongst can easily find it on the menu screen has changed from sliding to the left are always buildings in the way! It more pink than purple. The letter- S4, just remember this: the human the apps. The clarity of the screen is and capture the memory of a lifetime. to sliding straight down. The lock also slows down the performance of ing in a lot of the applications also was built for the iOS 7—it has been similar to the effect done to the Atlan- With the camera feature comes some screen is simpler now by replac- the application considerably. appear to be pink (the bright colors waiting for us until this day, while the tic Ocean in the movie The Life of Pi. further add-ons for your convenience. ing the sliding arrow with just the IOS 7 has seriously de- make it difficult to tell) and although Galaxy S4 is a clumsy device shod- Except in iOS 7, you are free to peace- For instance, you can switch from words, “Slide to Unlock.” But other creased the performance of my I have nothing against the color pink, dily made with human experience as than Radio, nothing has changed; it’s iPhone 4S, and others like Matt I can’t see how a grown man would fully swim and sail where you may camera mode to video mode with a an afterthought. To all the doubters like the iPhone 5S and the iPhone Guarino say, “iOS 7 slowed down want a phone where pink is the pri- without having to worry about being swipe of your finger and you can ad- of the iPhone’s iOS 7 software, you 5. The only difference between the my iPhone.” iOS 7 is the bubonic mary color. While some icons are so eaten by a Tiger ironically named just the exposure as you please. After must swim in the flat glass sea of the two phones is that the iPhone 5S plague, and it’s already frozen my bright it hurts, others are dull and Richard Parker. Colin Connolly ’15 taking the picture you also have the iPhone interface to understand what has a finger print button instead of phone three times in just one week. lifeless. The Contacts icon is just went as far as to say that the effects of ability to edit photos with effects and the rage about its calm is. I entreat the home button. There is simply The application animations now take a grey background and Reminders the screen are “kinda trippy.” But Ap- filters, eliminating the need to down- each and every one of you to simply not that much original to either the two more seconds to open than the is just white with purple dots. The ple, which was founded in 1976, seems load third party applications to do so. grab the simplest device you’ll ever iPhone 5S or iOS 7, but I guess we iOS 6. While the animations of fad- worst icon however, is undoubtedly to be paying tribute to the psychedelic Also, the home screen of IOS 7 has use in your lifetime and say “Yes, IOS love that from Apple because we ing, sliding in from the right, and the Game Center icon. I mean, why era it came from with its “trippy” and come with the long awaited notifica- 7…is..is…it just is.” continue to spend money on their zooming in are nice they can be are there huge pink and purple bub- “artsy” screen interface. tion screen, which gives the composer phones. Spending more money on really annoying when you’re in a bles on the GAME Center app? Why the same phone every year, that hurry. Also, it seems as though Sa- not show a game controller or any- makes sense right? fari is taking a second longer to load thing GAME related, just anything Facts with Jack: You’re Welcome IOS 7 finds ways to contra- web pages. Sometimes, when first besides bubbles. The bubbles pretty By JACK GOLDMAN‘14 dict itself. While the Notes Applica- unlocking the phone, the sliding ges- much summarize my hatred for the Middlebury, or as he calls it, The they aren’t fat. tion is so simple (literally just like tures won’t register. Speaking of un- iOS 7; at first there are only a few SENIOR EDITOR Promised Land, or The Garden of Will Kenney was selected white printer paper), the Reminders locking the phone, some have found minor inconveniences but then those When Dan Fulham wakes Eden. to star in the remake of The Karate App is way too complicated. Before, ways to bypass the passcode on the inconveniences turn into annoying up in the morning, he looks at the Football players all eat pie Kid, but dropped out due to schedul- creating reminders was just a mat- lock screen. Apple supposedly fixed habits then to freezing my phone and picture of Robert Frost by his bed, for breakfast, and follow it up with ing conflicts. Too bad. Wax on, wax ter of clicking on an empty line and the problems with the new iOS 7.02. that’s when I decide to pop. and thanks him for guiding him to a protein shake so they can pretend off, paint the fence. you would be immediately brought Well, EverythingApplePro, the You- Celebrity Look-Alike

Mr. McCarthy Jack Nicholson October 2013 THE WALRUS Page 7 Senior Time: What We’ve Got To Deal With Now Senior College Stuff: An Exposé (!) THE PREDICTOR: By CHRISTIAN KELLY ‘14 make it on your own, college isn’t think of themselves as too good for that big of a deal. As a matter of fact, just the Common Application, and This Month, Senior Chapel Speeches SENIOR EDITOR it is no deal. It’s as little of a deal as have additional requirements, such Well, it’s that time of year possible. Zero deal. Anyway, I can as a writing supplement. The top- By JACK GOLDMAN‘14 Henry Finnegan: Will predict accu- down, starts typing again, a single tear again—seniors are getting ready to imagine for the rest of us “normal ics of these supplements range from SENIOR EDITOR rately exactly how his two brothers’ slowly expelling itself from the left apply to colleges. It’s an arduous people” who want to go to college the boring and typical “Why do you lives will turn out. eye.) Senior chapel speeches are hallowed process and one that, for the Class and experience soul-crushing mo- want to attend X college/universi- James Fiore: Will announce that he is of 2014, has been 17 or 18 years in notony behind a desk after 4 years, ty?” to the offbeat and trendy “How pieces of literature that are integral to leaving Sebs to direct a horror movie. Tucker McLoughlin: Admits he’s from the making. As you read this article, the pressure is very much a deal. do you feel about Wednesdays?” the fabric of the St. Sebastian’s com- Niko Fischer: Thanks his best friend Tallahassee, Florida. Tears flow like seniors are sending out sheets of pa- However, there is a very Clearly, different colleges give off munity. So, we here at The Walrus de- Jack Goldman for all the freakouts the Nile River. per, or pages of computer screens, elite and distinct class of students distinctive vibes, the former being cided that we’d attempt to predict who he’s had in the last six years. Luke Murphy: Announces he’s bought with their academic, athletic, and ex- who have the advantage of both be- “we’re a prestigious 200 year old would say what in his chapel speech. Nick Flanagan: He’s just going to cry a new car, and that it is isn’t yellow, tracurricular to men/women known ing able to attend college and avoid- institution with a multi-billion dol- All of our predictions are based on the entire time. An unending stream of but magenta. as admissions officers. It is the job ing the stress of multiple applica- lar endowment”, and the latter be- hard evidence discovered through salty emotion. Connor Murray: Apologizes to Mr. of these “admissions officers” to tions. This group is known to many ing “we’re a prestigious 200 year countless hours of research and the Dan Fulham: Will look out at the face- Tremblay for butchering his name for systematically judge applicants and as “athletes”. Multiple students in old institution with a multi-billion completion of various mathematical less masses, and laugh for fifteen min- an entire year. crush their dreams (or fulfill them, the senior class already know where dollar endowment, but we’re also equations. So, here goes nothing: utes. Justin Nicklas: No jeeps, no fishing, depending on their decision.). they’re going to college and going zany, wacky, and fun, right?”. Es- David Abelson: Definitely won’t talk Kevin Ginns: Will also be late, be- no baseball. All right, he talks about Indeed, this may seem like to play the sports that they are true says aren’t the only deciding factor, about videogames. cause Hingham is a HIKE. all those things. an incredibly stressful process for masters of. Additionally, rumors though. Students also have the op- Aturo Adkins: Will wax poetic about Jack Goldman: Will attempt to con- John O’Leary: Talks about how his have surfaced that our very own tion of applying Early Decision, a most students. After all, their lives why contact lenses are better than vince everyone that his athletic career time at Sebs has made him the man he Jack Goldman was being actively sort of “devil’s deal” in which they are on the line here! John Bartlett, glasses. Or vice versa. actually had potential. Yeah, I wrote is today. Because he is Sebs. recruited for his game-taping skills sign off their soul (“soul” being the when asked how he is handling the Caleb Aldrich: He will lament his pre- that about myself. Do you have a Chris O’Shea: Presents a theory ex- and had already committed to pres- opportunity to apply to other colleg- Mariana Trench-level pressure of vious campaign for school president; problem with that? tigious universities, such as Stan- es, in this case) to a college of their plaining why Mr. Palmaccio always the college process, commented, possibly will blame Wellesley. ford, Duke, and Notre Dame. Said choice with the added benefit of Teddy Griffin: No mention of jeeps. knows the weather. Nails it. “I’m not going to college. I’ve de- Richard Arms: Will confess to becom- No really, jeeps aren’t a big thing with Matt Ouellette: Does his speech read- cided it was too much of an effort.” rumors, unfortunately, could not be having a slightly improved chance ing the ultimate hardo due to his facial Ted. ing off his phone, sneaks in a few When asked how this would impact confirmed and Jack Goldman could of being accepted. With ED, stu- hair choices. Miles Hunter: Will give props to the snapchats. his future, he replied, “Consider- not be reached for a comment. dents receive an early notice if they Matt Barletta: Will recite his seventh close-knit Dedham community. Tears Alex Pappas: Explains why his glasses ing that I’m going to start my own Lastly, of course, we have are accepted or if they are deferred grade speech word for word, hoping will be shed. are so much more stylish than every- company, which will be extremely the overwhelming majority of the or rejected. In the case that a student nobody will notice. successful over the next two years, senior class—people who want to is rejected or deferred, he has the op- Jake Levy: “No really, my moustache one else’s. John Bartlett: Confesses that he’s only positively, if anything. I’m saving attend college and have to send out tion of applying to other colleges. is coming in way better than you Matt Pickard: Wears his Patagonia smart because he is trying to change money.” Clearly, John has taken the applications. The most basic step in While the process may thought it would, right?” sweatshirt instead of his blazer during the perception of blondes. “easy road” and will probably fol- this process is filling out the Com- seem difficult and stressful, there’s John McNamara: “Guys, I’m not a the speech. low in the footsteps of many other mon Application, which consists of a light at the end of the tunnel, Justin Bellinger: Will speak all about lumberjack, really, I’m not. Quite yet. Pat Rivard: Reveals that he’s secretly Americans who did not attend col- basic information such as your name, and that light is four more years of his prolific career as a fencing master. Okay, maybe I am.” a world class soccer player. Purchases lege, such as Ernest Hemingway, where you live, your extracurricular school followed by anxiety about Jack Birmingham: Will speak on his Joe Kearney: “You’re welcome for Spain during the speech. Andrew Carnegie, or Kendrick La- activities, and your transcript. In ad- employment, debt, and possibly recent service experience in Sherborn. hauling over here from Duxbury for Morgan Rockett: Reveals his true mar. So I guess if you’re exception- dition to this information, teacher grad school. Or four years of life- Brennon Coakley: Explains just how four years. You needed me.” identity: Benedict Cumberbatch. al and you really do think you can recommendations and an essay are changing fun. You can really look at insulted he is by the movie “Step Joe Tran: Confesses that it was always Corey Ronan: Will confess to his love required. Most colleges seem to it either way. Brothers”. about the swag. of Cricket. The sport. Not the bug. Jordan Brydie: He will use his speech Owen Kehoe: Wellesley, polo hats, Connor Strachan: N/A to interpret the true meaning of life. golf, greatness, hockey, athletic abil- Brandon Sweeney: Sings ‘Wrecking Meows. ity, and not being Owen Wilson. Ball.’ It is beautiful. Retires from Sebs. Chris Callahan: Will declare his undy- Cam Kelly: Attempts to convince the Zach Taye: Shaves during his speech, ing support of Harry Reid. school the Westwood is a dangerous video of him doing it goes viral, but it Connor Campanelli: He’ll be late. town to live in. is never put on YouTube. Sam Carroll: “One day, I’m going to Chris Kelly: Eats a wad of gum to Ryan Alex Walsh: Skips the speech. run Jack Goldman over with a motor- prove that you can, in fact, ingest gum. Moves to New Zealand. cycle.” Will Kenney: Recites from memory a Andrew Warner: Dislocates his knee Zach Chambers: Will pledge alle- novel. Doesn’t mess up once. mid-speech. Too easy. giance to Harvard University and ev- Austin Lewis: Creates a song that ex- Luke Wasynczuck: Thanks his par- erything it stands for. No mention of presses everything we’ve ever wanted ents. Because in reality, that’s what apple pie, because we’re over it, Zach. to know through beeps. everyone is going to do. No really, I swear, we are. Ted Loughborough: Announces he is So bring a tissue and a re- Andrew Corcoran: Will commit to becoming a professional bowler. cording device, it’s gonna be a long Stetson University. Malcolm Osazuwa: Sings Blurred ride my friends, filled with “How I Conor Craven: Will make the argu- Lines, gets away with it. spent my summer,” “Why Sebs made ment for Socialism. Marlon Matthews: Presents a theory me the man I am today,” and “I’m Brian Curley: Confesses that when he proving that humans have wings, tails, going to give advice that competely grows up, he really wants to be like and wheels. contradicts what another senior said Jamie. Shane McDonald: Announces that he because I want to, so deal with it, bro” Jay Daukas: RHODE ISLAND. invented McDonald’s, and that he’s speeches. And if you’re not looking Des DiGiovanni: No mention of jeeps. sorry he didn’t tell anyone. Yes, you forward to the laughs, the tears, the No, truly. He’s moved on. can invent McDonald’s, no, I can’t ex- sweat, the blood, and the naps, than Conor Duffy: Proves he’s better than plain right now I’ve still got a ways to you probably don’t go to Sebs. And all his brothers by presenting a coher- go here, give me a break. for that, I am very, very sorry. See ent analysis of life in Milton. you Monday. Or Tuesday if it’s a long Will Dufour: Nothing about golf, the (Stops typing, gets up, bends over, weekend. You know what, I’ll just see Cape, Wellesley, or golf. wheezing. Waits three minutes. Sits you in Corporate Chapel whenever. This is the college that 20 percent of our esteemed graduates attend on a yearly basis. Primavera Invades Sebs Lunchroom By JOHN BARTLETT ‘14 ment belongs to the meat and potatoes ever they may be hiding. Pasta, regret- Hair, and How to Wear it at Seb’s crowd. Unfortunately, while meat can tably, is not a strong source of protein. SENIOR EDITOR often be chopped up into manageable The meat at the deli bar is, but some- By JAY DAUKAS ‘14, see that he seems to have bleached problem is corrected. The first “don’t” Many agree that the school bits and sprinkled into a pasta dish, times, oftentimes, it’s just not enough. what would have been a solid piece of has to be bowl cuts. Unless it is the first CHRIS CALLAHAN ‘14 year is a long haul—a marathon, even. doing the same with potatoes is slightly What else is there in the food realm facial hair. Obviously it goes without day of the school year and you play If this is true, why not carbo-load? more difficult. Though attempts have besides pasta and protein? I’m not sure, So far into this very young saying that nobody competes with football, you shouldn’t have a bowl cut. Sure, sounds reasonable. And what is been made in the past to create pasta- but a lot of it must be important if one school year, I have been fairly im- Headmaster Burke’s work of art that No one, and I do mean no one, looks the best food for such a thing? Pasta. potato hybrids before, with some, such can get a real job in this country as a pressed with everyone’s hairstyles. is his mustache, yet I do like that we good with a bowl cut. Not many of you may have as gnocchi, actually being very tasty, nutritionist. From the faculty to the student body, have some students trying to at least Hairstyle number two is noticed this, but I, with my keen eye, the truth of the matter is that the two Pasta is good, but even I can there seems to be some serious effort compete with perfection. “flow.” Sure, you might think it looks have been particularly observant in the naturally born enemies will never be admit it is not the be-all end-all of food. being put forth in the hair department. Moving on from the upper “super chill” when you have “flow” lunch room over the past few weeks able to find peace in compromise and There are bigger, better things out there I have to start with the lip, I think the beard game has been coming out of your helmet or hat, and have noticed a strange irregularity. can only go so long in combination just waiting to be discovered. Who obvious top picks. There is the new lacking as well so far. I mean, I really but flow usually represents a lack of We have been getting a lot of pasta. Not before causing a stomachache—so they knows, with change and luck we may “flow” that has appeared in not only hate to toot my own horn, but the land- athletic ability and the inability to talk just plain old spaghetti and meatballs, claim. Basically, it’s a bad idea. Some- be able to get 7th graders to start eating the students but in the faculty as well ing strip look that I was repping this to girls. Believe me; I had flow in the mind you, but many different breeds times you just have to give the old Irish exotic foods they’d never tried before. this year, with DT, Mr. Thomas, and past week was one of the best I have 7th and 8th grade. Any type of hair that ranging from the spicy rattlesnake to baseline the main stage and stand back, We could start a food tasting club. Mr. Ferguson rocking what can only ever had. Call it gross or call it amaz- extends past your ears, with the excep- the light and pompous primavera. The watching in amazement at how okay We could become gastronomically be described as lax bro hair. I have ing, I loved it and it’s coming back tion of a mullet, shouldn’t be allowed. frequency of this food group that was with it pretty much everyone can be. cultured! So toss some bread bowls, a tough time not calling Mr. Thomas with a vengeance. I also hate to admit If your hair resembles anything close to not actually invented by the Italians is Besides, I also hear from chicken wraps, large slabs of meat “Flowseidon” every time I pass him it, but Luke Murphy does have some Justin Bieber’s hair, cut your hair. An- on a slightly different tack from past anonymous sources—Dan Fulham into the lineup. Maybe even sneak in a in the hall. Also, I really like the look of the finest facial hair in the school. It other important hair “don’t” is greasy years of Seb’s lunches, when students ’14—that kids at Seb’s play sports. chocolate chip cookie day, and dare any of the white flow that Mr. Ferguson did get out of hand earlier, which was hair. It’s called shampoo and a shower, came to expect what they referred to as If these sources are true, then it must critics to show their faces. The world is bringing to the table. Altogether a pretty gross, but week in and week hoss. Not that hard. No one wants to “pasta Wednesday,” an aptly named day become a high priority to get protein is a turkey dinner, and we as a school strong showing from the faculty so far, out Murphy has the most consistent be looking at that greasy mop on top of on which they would be served pasta. to these kids as soon as possible, wher- must take it upon ourselves to eat it. this year even though Mr. McCarthy beard of any student at Sebs. You just your head each day, so please, cut your But that old trend is gone, replaced by recently cut what was the best-looking gotta give credit where credit is due. hair. Mohawks, while allowed, should the deadly combination of a bold new curly afro I have seen in a very long Other than that, beards have been not be any of those weird ones that archetype of grain that will not allow time. I’m hoping he grows that back pretty bland so far. I’m still looking stop in the middle of your head. Henry itself to be restricted by the bonds of out A$AP. for someone to try a chin-strap as well Finnegan had a great Mohawk this a single day and a new, more popular On to the students. Not as a fu-man-chu. Not sure if anyone year, went full length, Luke Murphy, phrase for Wednesday inspired by a many good styles going yet this year. truly has the ability to pull that off, but not so much. Luke Murphy’s beard, talking camel... Everyone seems to be playing it con- would still like to see more effort from however, does kill it. Now if you claim Personally, I enjoy pasta and servative and I’m a little disappointed everyone. you only look good with flow or greasy do not mind this change. When I was about it. One person who has brought “The first thing we take into hair or one of those weird Mohawks, in 9th grade, I filled up a nice bowl of his A-game is Matt Daniels. Flipping account when looking at a perspective then maybe hair isn’t right for you. pasta-on-the-side every single day of the mullet game on its head. Not sure student is their hair and their father’s On the subject of facial hair, the year, even when it was the exact how he pulls that off with the curly hair. We want to ensure that, if admit- if you can’t grow a beard, don’t pretend same thing as the main meal. I will hair, but either way he is definitely do- ted, this student will look good at you can. I myself am guilty of the admit, however, that such a practice ing something right. alumni events for years to come,” said “neard” look at times, but it’s not like I is strange and in no way representing Because of the lack of good one anonymous teacher.. Most kids at , think I can grow a beard. Only a few the views and preferences of, it seems, hair on top of everyone’s head, I’m Sebs know that hair makes a man, and kids can rock facial hair well: Travis anyone else ever. Feeling obligated by forced to move onto the best of the while it is okay to have a bad hair day, Lampron and Luke Murphy. These kids my imaginary contract with this paper, best when it comes to facial hair. The it is not okay to constantly have bad were basically born with beards. If you therefore, I will give some publicity to one that stands out to me right away hair at Sebs. The following are styles are like them, go for it, but if you are the majority view of the school. is Jake Levy’s stache, which is the that should not be permitted in school like me, shave it. The creepy stache I recently was surprised to best mustache I have seen since Billy and, if they do occur, your classmates is only acceptable if you know that it discover that a large percentage of Behman walked the halls of Sebs. On have the right, or should I say the duty, looks bad and creepy. Otherwise, take the St. Seb’s population is Irish, and The entirety of St. Sebastian’s has been on a carbo-loading the topic of staches, if you look really to point out your mistakes until the a load off thaf face, my brother. hard at Tuggahh’s upper lip you can therefore as a stereotypical require- binge as a result of the recent choices for our lunches. ARROWS SPORTS Vol LXVII, No. 1 St. Sebastian’s School October 2013 Cross Country Finding Their Stride By CAM KELLY ‘14 sophomores—Erik Jones, Paul Keady, St. Seb’s, like Brooks and Nobles. The Jimmy Ryan, and John Kapples—are second race of the season was against There is a 3.1 mile race. It’s ready to make an impact on this year’s Middlesex, Milton, and Nobles. As September 11th, and the first Varsity team and continue to contribute to the this year’s version of the cross-country Cross Country race of the year. It’s team for years to come. The freshmen team is fairly young, the more expe- very hot out, very humid, and it’s 137° Kevin Moore and Luke Jones are like- rienced teams had an easier time de- on the turf at school. It would be easy wise excited to make an impact on this feating the upstart team from St. Seb’s. and understandable to desire to drop year’s team and improve through the The stronger teams of Milton and Mid- out of the race or fake an injury in next few years on the team. dlesex beat the cross-country team by the middle and take the easy way out. It will be an accomplish- a wider margin than Nobles. However, no one on St. Seb’s, Riv- ment for the team if they are able to be The most recent race was ers, or Lexington Christian Academy a strong team by the end of the year, at Saint Mark’s against Brooks, Saint sought this “easy way” out. The race as they have lost 8 runners from last Mark’s, and Lawrence Academy. began and ended pretty much the way year’s graduation class: Mike Haley, While the team knew that Saint Mark’s it started, with Saint Sebastian’s earn- Matt Fachetti, Peter Breslin, Anthony has a strong team, it was more appar- ing a fairly easy win against both Lex- McIntire, Peter Dematteo, Luke Scot- ent that Brooks is a worthy adversary ington Christian Academy and Rivers. ten, Eddie McCarthy, and Matt Mc- as they defeated the Seb’s team by The team is composed of Guire. While 7 runners joined from only one point. Lawrence was the only ten members with two seniors, two last year’s middle school cross coun- victory for the squad. juniors, four sophomores, and two try team, they jump in the distance of The Varsity Cross-Country freshmen. The two seniors Cam Kelly their races from 2.0 miles to 3.1 miles, team is looking forward to improv- and John Bartlett are looking forward which can make it tough for some to ing throughout the course of the rest to using their influence on the team to transition and perform well. of the season and its race this Saturday Charlie Gordon puts the moves on an unsuspecting Nobles defender on his way to the goal. start new traditions such as “no shirt So far all of the members of at Saint Paul’s. Everyone in the whole Friday” and “pass a leaf Monday,” the team have made good transitions school is also looking forward to the which is as simple as it sounds. The from their summer training to near the Homecoming Race on October 11th at Soccer Looking to Recover From two juniors John Ryan and John Flat- middle of the cross-country season. Caryl Park against Rivers. Henry’s is ley are looking forward to being ex- The Varsity Cross Country team has expected to be in full force as the cross perienced members of the team and so far faced strong teams in Middle- country team has its last home race of Rough Beginning to the Season working hard to make the team bet- sex and Saint Mark’s and is looking the season the day before Homecom- were contenders with just a 2-1 defi- to the season”. Mr. Lynch remarked: ter by the end of the season. The four to beat teams that have already beaten ing. By CONNOR MURRAY ‘14 cit for most of the game. Sebs really “A come from behind win in the sec- HEAD WRITER made a powerful surge toward the ond half is tough to do in this league end of the game with the help of an and is something you should be proud The soccer team has gotten off energetic student fan section. Rivers of”. The slow start was certainly dis- to a slow start with a total record of 1-4 received a few lucky bounces and put appointing given the high expectations and a league record of 1-3. However, two in the back of the net at the end the team has this season. The first there have been many positive signs of the game as well. Our final loss four games definitely prepared us for and the team is definitely heading in the came against BB&N and their rowdy what’s to come though. After facing right direction. The team’s first game homecoming crowd 3-0. There were four extremely good opponents our against Worcester Academy ended in a definitely some positive takeaways team has been through the toughest of 3-0 loss. Worcester’s team is rated as from these losses with excellent goals the tests this year. The team has been one of the top teams in New England, coming from junior Kenney Vallace whipped into shape quickly and is and despite the final score, we were ’15 against Nobles and junior Matt more than ready to tackle any upcom- giving them a good battle for most of Guarino ’15 against Rivers. After a ing challenge in the near future. Our the game. Our next three games all fourth loss though, the team could backbone can be found in a very strong resulted losses against Nobles, Rivers have put our heads down and given junior class, including one of our goal- and BB&N. All three of these teams up, but we illustrated our resilience ies James Desisto, defenders Paige are ISL championship contenders and in the following game against Gov- Sanderson, Billy McCarthy, and James again, the final scoreboard does not ernor’s Academy. After the first half Sylvia, midfielders Doyle Sylvia, Matt accurately represent what took place the score read 1-0 in Governor’s fa- Guarino and Kenney Vallace, then fi- on the field. We played good soccer vor. We had outplayed them all half nally striker Charlie Gordon. The team against Nobles for most of the game however they managed to sneak in a has excellent senior leadership from with a 2-1 score, however they snuck lucky goal. The first half closely re- captains John O’Leary and Austin in two goals toward the end of the sembled earlier games in the season Lewis. Unfortunately, Austin injured game while we were pushing for the and at halftime, Mr. Lynch asked his collarbone toward the end of the tie. Similarly against Rivers, also one the team “Do you really want to go Rivers game, however, he should be Runners Cam Kelly and Johnny Ryan lead the pack as they rapidly approach the finish line. of the top teams in New England, we to sleep tonight knowing you lost to back with the team soon. The team THIS team? This team that you’re so looks to take each upcoming game much better than?” The team clearly one at a time and work our way back took the question to heart because into the playoff mix. Two big upcom- V. Football Team Looks to Run the Table returned to the field the second half ing games are against Brooks as well with a new, flaming passion. Alejan- as Belmont Hill. St. Sebastian’s looks with a 3-yard run by Connor Strachan. The Arrows weren’t fazed by team’s side that the game would be By AUSTIN O’SHEA ‘16 dro Soto ’15 racked up two goals in to defeat a very talented Belmont Hill The momentum was on our side. Matt this and forgot about it, focusing on close. After a pick 6 by Connor Stra- the second half to give St. Sebastian’s team at homecoming, October 12th. “The Arrows are coming. Get on the Daniels then caught his first reception the next play. What seemed like sec- chan was called back due to holding, its first win of the season. Our Cap- A big student crowd could definitely bus or get out of our way.” –Coach and touchdown, wide open in the end onds later, Geoff found Daniels, once he simply picked off RL quarterback tains John O’Leary and Austin Lewis help propel us to a win and ultimately Souza’s inspiring preseason message zone, to extend our lead. Sebs: 14, again, for another touchdown connec- Peter Cahil’s next pass. Sebs then called the win a “new launching point to a playoff spot later on in the season. to the boys. Milton Academy: 3. tion. The lead was back in our hands drove downfield once again, and, with The celebration didn’t last and it would be very hard for Milton to a gorgeous 27-yard pass by Wade to Double sessions kicked off long because on the pursuing kickoff once again take it away from us. Daniels, the lead grew to 20. in late August, and with this came a Milton returned Kevin Ginns’ kick As it would play out Milton After an RL punt, freshman handful of questions surrounding the 74 yards down field, and then ran a would, unfortunately, answer with an Blake Gallagher and junior Edosa Varsity upcoming season. Who would be the sweep to score a touchdown the next 18-yard touchdown pass with 9:16 left Onaiwu led the charge downfield for starting linemen? Who would be be- play. We handed them the game back. in the fourth quarter. Though hope was another Strachan touchdown. Arrows: side Strachan at linebacker? Would The momentum had swung and it was not lost an interception by Milton’s 27, Foxes: 0. Results we have another successful season? now a one-possession game. The ar- Luke MacDonald would end the pos- The game was pretty much Possibly an undefeated season repeat? rows could not be slowed down in this sibility of an Arrows win and end all over by half time but Coach Souza The biggest question of all was who first half, though. The next drive we hope of a repeated 9-0 season. spoke to the team, preaching to not let would take Healy’s spot at quarter- stormed down field and, with the help Sebs had no choice but to up and to not give RL any false hope. Varsity Football: back—Wade or Corcoran? of none other than the big left tackle, shake off the week one loss and get We did not let up and came As it turned out, Callahan Tyson Mattox, Matt Daniels caught a back into business in practice in prepa- out strong with a James Fiore touch- earned the spot next to Strachan, with screen pass and ran 27 yards into the ration to face Roxbury Latin. All the down to take extend the lead to 34-0. @ Milton 27-31 L Big Blake Gallagher getting some end zone, untouched. hard work would end up paying off at To add on to that, Kevin Ginns drilled quality playing time at middle line- The Mustangs responded by the end of the week. a 27-yard field goal to make the lead backer and fullback as well. After a the end of an exciting first half on a Upon arrival to RL’s home- 37-0. Although RL avoided the shut @ Roxbury Latin 37-7 W few scrimmages against Needham nicely passed ball by Anthony Scurto coming, it was established that we out with a Sean Lowrie touchdown High, Thayer, and Tabor, it was estab- to receiver Domenic Cozier. It was a were going to send them home defeat- reception, a 37-7 win was still accept- vs. Governor’s 14-27 L lished that Geoff Wade would be the tight game and nobody knew for sure ed. able. The JV squad boys, aka “Red starter at (West) Milton Academy for what the outcome of the game would After Coach Souza’s elec- Dogs”, got some playing time in the the opening game. be. It was a strong start for both teams. tric pregame speech, there was no fourth quarter. Though nothing sig- After tough preparation to Arrows: 21, Mustangs: 17. doubt in anyone’s mind that this game nificant happened, it was good for the Varsity Soccer: start off the season the Arrows rolled To begin the second half, wouldn’t even be close. After a snap younger guys to get some reps up with up on Milton Academy excited to play things were looking good for the boys that couldn’t be handled by RL punter the varsity. and drop some bodies. After getting in black until a costly fumble resulted turned into a fumble that was recov- With a 1-1 record, hopefully vs. Worcester Academy 0-3 L the ball at their own twenty to start the in a 45-yard return for Milton Acad- ered by Miles Hunter, an additional this year’s varsity football team can game, due to the Milton kicker boot- emy freshman defensive back, Mike fumble recovery by Johnny Mac, and have another stellar season and rep- ing the kick off over the end zone, Silva. Milton their first lead of the two eventual touchdowns by Strachan, resent St. Sebastian’s in the best way @ Nobles 1-4 L we drove down field to take the lead game. there was heavy doubt in opposing possible. vs. Rivers 1-4 L @ BB&N 0-3 L @ Governor’s 2-1 W

Varsity Cross Country: vs. Lawrence 48-15 W @St. Paul’s 15-42 L vs. Governor’s 19-41 L

Left: Matt Daniels ‘15 reels in a pass from quarterback Geoff Wade to gain some serious yardage. Right: Tight vs. BB&N 25-30 L end (and Senior Editor) Daniel Fulham ‘14 notices his Mom in the stands and gives her a friendly wave.