PAGE 20 THE RETRIEVER FEATURES May 7, 1996

|:/ y»' ^JfHVw i;' Fairweather Brings Out the Best in Hootie and the Blowfish Better Musically and Lyrically, First Week Sales Top 514,000 melody. "Earth Stopped Cold at Dawn" is Dave Carroll One thing I noticed immediately is another highlight of the , as--: Retriever Editorial Staff the improvement of the band's vo- sisted again by the talents of Griffitlw cals overall. The backup singing of The song gets the most from Rucker" It shouldn't be any surprise that Sonefeld, Bryan and Felber make a and his voice without the need for Hootie and the Blowfish's newest much more positive impact on this him to carry the harmony. album, , sold album. On , their Track nine, known as over 514,000 in the first week lyrics bordered on a major distrac- "Honeyscrew," is entertaining, and at following its release. Its predecessor, tion. Rucker also sang backup on times as good as any song on the al- Cracked Rear View, has sold in ex- some of the first album most likely bum. Its bridge, or coda, is the high- cess of 13 million albums since its to improve the overall sound of the light of the song, and its strength lies in its chorus. release. The quartet's debut offering backup singing. currently resides as the number two Number 10, "Let It Breathe," is The third song, "Tucker's Town," debut album of all time, behind filler. Pass on it. is average. It isolates the difficulties Boston's first album. At 11 is the song "Silly Little Pop of the band's vocals which detract A lot of people have made fun of Song." Interesting title, and pretty Hootie lovers, especially cool musically. The best part of the Karen Keys, calling the mu- song is the backup vocals on the cho- sic "fraternity boy" anthems. "Fairweather Johnson, despite rus. Yet to those who enjoy the Similar to "Let it breathe," "Fool" j Sadia Ahmed / Retriever Staff rumors to the contrary, is not a quartet's music, the band is is more filler. Pass. Tanisha Hall, Debby Prestige, and Damen Labbe show off the fruits of their work: Books! anything but juvenile. locker room joke about male The next song, "Tootie," is mushy Critics deride the band for genitalia." — the type of song that might grow its wishy-washy lyrical style on you like a rash: you hate to have Half-Empty Libraries in the City and limited music, but the it, but when you scratch it, it feels so foursome from Columbia, South from the overall quality of the song. damn good. Carolina, ignores the critics. Moreover, "She Crawls Away" is the Finally, "When I'm Lonely" is the That Reads Fairweather Johnson, despite ru- second best song on the album. third in the series of weak songs. I mors to the contrary, is not a locker Rucker, singing about his young can't blame them for only eight or room joke about male genitalia. Gui- daughter, maximizes his deep bari- nine good tunes though, since they UMBC Students Pull Together to tarist explains its mean- tone without the sometimes exces- sang the songs from Cracked Rear Collect Books for City School ing in the eighth song on the album sive screaming he demonstrates on, View for eight years. ~ an amusing diversion in the middle "Tucker's Town." All in all, not a bad follow-up al- appropriate example. What of their album. Karen Keys "So Strange," is helped by the bum from the hottest band on the he found were half-empty So, without further ado ... Retriever Editorial Staff beautiful voice of folk singer Nanci planet. Artists like Snoop Doggy Dog shelves and poor offerings Fairweather Johnson. Griffith and her vocal harmonies. The and the Red Hot Chili Peppers want to choose from. The first song on the album, "Be When I was a young'n and mom song is pretty good, but in this case, a piece of this band, for it seems that "The librarian shook her the One," is standard fare for the and pops would send me off to bed, the addition of Griffith makes a good they can do no wrong. head and looked around band, a kind of fast-paced rock with I'd be really quiet for 20 minutes or song so much better. Their second effort was better and showed me what they heavy emphasis on Rucker's guitar so. After the rooster crowed three That brings us to the best song on overall than the first, but not over- had to offer," stated Labbe strumming. Not the worst song on the times, I'd reach under my bed for a the album, "Old Man and Me," the whelmingly so, due mostly in part who was immediately up- album, but not the traditionally strong flashlight and Little Women. By the first single from Fairweather to the weak songs shoved on the' set by the incident. opener you would expect. dim light and with the blanket over end of the album. I hope the next" For three years there "Sad Caper," co-written with Glen Johnson. Traditionally Hootie, the my head and the door crack con- album is more upbeat than this one. was no library, and now Phillips of Toad the Wet Sprocket, is song invokes images from Cracked cealed with a sweater, I'd devour all Rear View and its carefree folksy at- I think their niche has been carvedj the beautiful words and journey into the shelves are only half one of the best of the album. The in- titude. Undoubtedly the most ener- in songs like, "I Only Wanna be* a different world. full and most books were fluence of Phillips is readily appar- getic song on the album, it will With You" and "Drowning," not irC Because I was socially inept, I published just after World ent to fans of both bands, and probably be the most requested and the slow soulful mourning of a los£ loved to read. People would approach War I. Rucker's lyrics provide the perfect best-known song from the album. puppy dog. me and try to chat, saying, "So what "They're so old, the in- accompaniment to the excellent ya reading?" I'd glare over the top formation in them is use- for a few seconds and go back to less," said Labbe. Books , more books, tons of books, So he and other UMBC The Happy Horoscope, reading with a grunt. Couldn't they UMBC has lots of books. We're lucky, n», m read the title on the cover? Why students associated with" others are not. the elementary school or- by Andy Hershberger GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) wouldn't they leave me alone? I don't feel like writing a horo- ganized a book drive with Unfortunately, some elementary scope for you. That's right, no horo- school children can't relish in another a drop-off in the curriculum lab in computers and kids. ARIES (March 21-April 19) scope. Don't you feel special? Leo world because their school libraries ACIV. Most publicity for the drive A few years ago AT&T donated The great god Meckron beckons to plays a role, but I don't feel like tell- are inadequate at best. Students at relied on word of mouth and fliers. computers to the same school and you, accept his calling. You have a Jiappy accident with the lawnmower. ing you what it is. UMBC are trying to solve this prob- Additionally, the drive received a they're sitting in a room, wasted and lem and better the education system. donation from the Student Service You new name is Stubby Toes. Scor- ignored. He's looking for some com- CANCER (June 21 - July 22) Darren Labbe, Tanisha Hall, Debby Corps who contributed money from pio has the power of the undead. puter oriented students to help set the Doesn't that song "Supermodel" Prestige and Joy Smith organized a their Quadmania Snowball booth. system up and teach a few seminars sound a bit like "I Kissed a Girl"? book drive supplement a meager col- The book drive ended in April but TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) to faculty. The faculty will then be Anything special going on? "I wish lection at Fort McHenry Elementary. Labbe said, "I'm thinking about con- Nothing cures better than a good able to start passing the knowledge that I was like Tori Spelling with a Darren Labbe, an education major, tinuing this project; this is not an iso- leech. The big white van visits your onto the children. car like her's and a dad like her's," discovered the problem while teach- lated situation with city schools. house. Never a dull moment when don't you? Taurus porous. ing a lesson at the school. He wanted The effort brought in over a thou- Anyone who can help should con- Friends is on. You catch Libra steal- CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan to use a springtime poem and went sand books but Labbe refuses to stop tact the Shriver Center or education ing a fry and you stab them in the LEO (July 23 - Aug 22) to the school library to search for an there. He's pursuing a new project: department. eye. Take a relaxation course. 19) You take a job writing horoscopes Says here that you're supposed to generate extra income. You get to be the intelligent sign BWAH Sunset Park Distinctly Blah And Mundane criticized for writing horoscopes to HA HA HA HA HA HA. Anyway generate extra income. You are told you ...BWAH HA HA HA HA HA I decide I don't want to waste my film and Free Guest runs into Free team, and she does. The film also Andy Hershberger that you are not funny enough to ... sorry, it's just that... BWAH HA time around someone who gives off Guest's Co-Worker, or F.G. Co- deals with Rhea trying to get the bas- Retriever Editorial Staff write horoscopes to generate extra HA HA HA HA HA ... THE IN- negative vibes, and I decide to return Worker for short. ketball team to be winners, and she incpme. You masturbatory fantasies TELLIGENT SIGN... BWAH HA to The Retriever office. F.G. Co-Worker has also come to does that also. Another element is V As every red-blooded American are distracted by the thought that you HA HA HA. I had some... BWAH There I run into the girl nobody review the film. He is a friendly sort Rhea trying to assert herself, and this male knows, there is nothing quite are not funny enough to write horo- HAHAHAHA... I had... BWAH knows, Vikki Valentine. I make one of chap, and we spend a lot of time also is accomplished. Then there is like a film featuring Rhea Perlman scopes to generate extra income. HA HA HA... some sort... BWAH last ditch effort for a chance at a date chatting about films. F.G. Co-Worker Rhea trying to take the basketball to attract the femmes. I don't know Gemini learns the Madison. HA HA HA ... sort of prediction and ask Vikki if she would like to go. then bluntly states to Free Guest, "I team to the state finals and - I shit quite what it is about this spunky ... HA HA HA HA HA ... but I Vikki asks what the film is, and I tell didn't know you were gay." Free you not — she accomplishes this on spouse of Danny Devito that brings VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) can't ... HA HA HA HA ... can't her that it's a Rhea Perlman film. Guest is taken aback and says that top of everything else. in the broads; but whatever it is, I Lookup, look down... Iforget the rest. Vikki brightens up and says, "I'd although he has no problem with ho- Is there anything Rhea Perlman remember it... BWAHH HA HA know it will help me secure a date. love to go to a Rhea Perlman film, as mosexuality, he is in fact npt gay and can't do? Not much going on here, how about HA HA... INTELLIGENT... HA I immediately run out to the plaza long as you pay." that we are just friends. F.G. Co- The film has a few subplots deal- you? Nice day, huh? Aries fairies. HA HA HA. God, you're almost to flaunt my free pass and make sure I tell her that it's a free pass, and Worker looks stunned and asks who ing with Rhea helping out the kids, as big a loser as Sagittarius, ex- there is enough space for escape suddenly her eyes start jumping all got the free pass; Free Guest motions Rhea wanting a restaurant, Rhea only LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) cept for Karen "The Goddess" when I announce my chick magnet. over the place. She says that she can't to me. taking the coaching job for money; What are you doing this weekend? Keys. Standing tall in center of the UC I go, and I ask why. She says that she F.G. Co-Worker suddenly blurts it's a collection of Rhea, Rhea, Rhea! If you're a girl, would you like to go tape the Sunset Park pass to my chest will not go to a film with any guy out, "YOU HAD A FREE PASS TO The acting in the film is quite good; on a date? I'm just wondering, 'cause AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) and casually scream, "OH MY! IS unless he pays for her. She says a A RHEA Perlman FILM, AND YOU Rhea delivers a human performance you know it never hurts to date. Pi- You don't actually like Green THIS A FREE PASS TO A RHEA gentlemen would never take her to a COULDN'T GET A DATE! WHAT more akin to an afterschool special sces micies. Day do you? I mean, Green Day Perlman FILM? WHY, YES IT IS! free film, and that she likes to main- KIND OF A PATHETIC LOSER than the big screen. She plays her sucks, right? You do know that AND LOOK, IT ADMITS TWO! I tain her standard of only dating ARE YOU?" character as essentially a real person, SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) Green Day sucks, don't you? Can- •WONDER WHO I COULD TAKE!" gentlemen. After finishing her little The rest of the conversation with albeit a consistently happy one, and ... So then he says, "Now you're cer coming right back at you. Silence. -1 try again. speech, she kicks me in the kneecap F.G. Co-Worker consists of him this is nice. screwed." ... but the third nuns arms ; "MY MY MY MY MY, IF THERE and calls me a cheapskate. apologizing for the previous state- The rest of the cast is capable of were too short to reach. Why, don't PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) ISN'T A FREE PASS TO GO SEE I don't need this crap, I think-to ment. accomplishing the challenge pre- you have a vase? Aquarius bulgaria. If you really want to be kool you ihlAT NEW RHEA Perlman FILM myself. I guess I'll just call Free THE FILM BEGINS sented to them, and they work well have to spell kool with a "k" like PRACTICALLY STAPLED TO MY Guest up and hang out with him. Free The theater is packed. There are a together. Karen Keys does. If you really BODY I WISH THAT I COULD Guest, upon being asked, says, "You few trailers, and F.G. Co-Worker The problem with this film is the SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21) want to be kool you have to spell THINK OF SOMEONE TO TAKE." had a pass to a RHEA Perlman film leans over and says, "I'm really sorry script. It may be based on a true story, He he he ... Oh boy ... he he he ... kill with a "k" like you're sup- , Nothing." and the babes weren't biting?" man ... I mean I was just way out of but it plays like a re-write of The Bad You ... You ... You ... You are still the posed to. Did you know that read- | Before I can go for the third take, "As absurd as it seems, that is the line ... I mean you're not a loser ... News Bears: unmotivated coach be- loser... Have a fun summer... Yeah, ing is fundamental? Did you care? some guy comes up and asks me to case," I reply Well, I mean I don't know if you're comes motivated. right! Et tu Virgo, et tu. be quiet. There is a speaker on cam- So me and Free Guest make the a loser or not, but you really don't The film also feels like a TV pus who is talking about the injus- necessary arrangements to go see the seem like you're a loser ... Look it's movie. tice that women have suffered film. just that it's a Rhea Perlman film and You know I feel that I've given the THAT'S IT! THAT'S WHAT'S a teacher to Rhea. It's a damn funny throughout the ages and this man The entire conversation on the way ... Aw Hell, I'm sorry ... I'm sorry ... impression that this film is actually WRONG WITH THE FILM: IT'S scene, DAMN FUNNY.) wants to hear what she has to say. to the theater is nothing more then I just can't say how sorry I am." good. This is not the case. It is a re- JUST NOT THAT ENTERTAINING AFTERWARD I tell him that he doesn't want to Free Guest repeating over and over, THE FILM BEGINS: PART II dundant script with mundane writing NOR THOUGHT PROVOKING! IT We leave the theater; F.G. Co- hear the grumpy rambling of some and it has a real bland flavor to it. It "A free pass to a Perlman film and There are a lot of shots of a smil- JUST SORT OF EXISTS. Worker apologizes some more until disgruntled female and he responds is hard for me to pinpoint exactly (Although to be fair, there is a you couldn't find a filly," stated in ing Rhea Perlman during the open- me and Free Guest get to my car. The with, "I guess that's why you're ing credits, and we reviewers smell what is wrong with this film, so I will moment amid all the blah that may various tones and volumes. rest is a wash of blues and grays. known as a loser, Free Pass Boy." ARRIVING AT THE THEATER trouble. give up. qualify as the funniest screen mo- ,i I scream hysterically, "I am NOT We make it to the grand ol' cin- This film deals with Rhea trying Yeah, it's not terrible, but it isn't ment in a long time. It concerns a stu- 'fL loser," and call him a poop head. ema multiplex that is showing the to win the respect of a basketball real enjoyable. dent discussing a problem he has with ■I' ■