North Pole Exposure – Scene 1 – Kids & Citizens
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NORTH POLE EXPOSURE – SCENE 1 – KIDS & CITIZENS (The citizens of the North Pole freeze in their final positions at the end of the song.) (A group of young people walk onto the stage. They are wearing winter traveling clothes and carrying suitcases, etc. They are awestruck and excited to be in this magical place.) KID 1: Wow! I can’t believe we finally made it to the North Pole! KID 2: I can’t believe it really exists! (The citizens of the North Pole giggle and try to hold their pose.) KID 3: What was that? KID 4: What was what? (more giggling) KID 3: That?! (Kid 5 is over taking a very close look at one of the stationary elves to see if it is real.) KID 5: Hey, guys! Look at this! (He touches the elf.) ELF 1: Boo! Kid 5 and all others: AHHHHHH! (All of the citizens of the North Pole start laughing and break their poses. They talk to each other, slap each other on the back and cause a general hubbub. Santa moves over to one side of the stage.) KID 6: Are they real? ELF 2: Are WE real? (sarcastically) Well, I don’t know? Are we real? What do you think, everybody? Are we real? (citizens all laugh again) MRS. CLAUS: (walking up to the kids to reassure them) Oh, now, be nice, everyone. After all, they are our guests, and it isn’t very often that we have guests way up here in the North Pole! KID 7: Wow! It’s Mrs. Claus! ELF 3: Well, she ain’t Martha Stewart! (All of the citizens think this is very funny and laugh uproariously!) MRS. CLAUS: (very sweetly) Yes, I am Mrs. Claus, and welcome to the North Pole! ALL CITIZENS: “Yes welcome!”…”We’re glad you’re here!” ELF 4: What’d ya bring us? MRS. CLAUS: Now, don’t be rude, everybody. I’m sure they’ll tell us why they’re here when they feel ready to do so. (Everybody looks at the kids and waits…no one says anything.) MRS. CLAUS: (repeating herself, emphasizing the words even more.) I’m sure they’ll tell us why they’re here when they feel ready to do so. (all wait again, no one says anything) ALL CITIZENS: (together) WHY ARE YOU HERE?! KID 8: Oh, I’m so sorry, but to meet you all has left us speechless! KID 9: Yes! You see, we came here on kind of a freezing field trip. KID 10: We want to get a firsthand look at the land where reindeer are supposed to fly… KID 3: … where elves build toys, and…and… MRS. CLAUS: Yes? What is it? KID 3: and…and… CITIZENS: (together) What is it? KID 4: (blurting it out) We want to meet the one and only Santa Claus because we don’t believe he could really be as wonderful as everybody says he is! (All of the citizens gasp in horror. After a momentary pause where the citizens are left speechless, Santa delivers his line from his spot at the side of the stage.) SANTA: Ho! Ho! Ho! Well I thought you’d never ask! (Santa walks over to the kids, shakes hands and hugs the speakers.) SANTA: Welcome, boys and girls to the North Pole! Isn’t it just the best place you’ve ever been? ALL KIDS: Wow! It’s Santa! KID 5: It sure does seem magical, Santa! But I have a few questions about how things really work around here? KID 6: Me too, Santa! I mean, come on, reindeer that fly…and little elves that make toys? You’ve got some real explaining to do if you ask me. ALL KIDS: (ad libs all at once) “Yeah, what about those elves?” “Who really makes those toys?” “What’s with this Rudolph character?” SANTA: (looking at his pocket watch) Ho! ho! hold on a minute, kids! I’d be glad to answer all of your questions and show you all around my wonderful home! I think you’ll see that all of what you heard is absolutely true! But, we’ll have to make it pretty quick. I’ve got lots of work to do and it’s almost time for me to leave on my ‘round the world trip! (Suddenly the kids produce microphones and the scene turns into a mini news conference with all of them shoving their microphones toward Santa.) KID 1: (like a news reporter) Hold on a minute, Mr. Claus. Let’s start with those famous reindeer. SANTA: Great! Aren’t they just amazing? KID 2: Great? Maybe…but who exactly are these guys who only really work one night a year? What do they do the rest of the time? KID 3: Yeah! What kind of back room deal did they make to get that kind of gig? One night a year! What do they do the rest of the time, Santa? SANTA: Oh ho ho! Good question! (He considers it as though he wonders himself, then snaps out of it as though he remembers) I mean, good question! I can assure you that there are no back room deals where the reindeer are concerned, no secret alliances, if you get my drift. It’s the real thing. See for yourself. Watch this… (Santa cranks a siren, rings a bell or blows a whistle and the music starts for the reindeer entrance.) NORTH POLE EXPOSURE – SCENE 2 – REINDEER SCENE (During the “Reindeer Play-On Music,” the reindeer come from all directions like the Keystone Kops. It’s chaos as they are getting their antlers on, noses in place, maybe even boots and coats like a volunteer fire department. Eventually they fall in line like a military troupe for Rudolph’s inspection. Rudolph is in charge and things are not going well. During the commotion, all of the other citizens exit and the kids move to one side of the stage to watch.) RUDOLPH: That just isn’t good enough, fellas! We’ve got to do better! Dasher, front and center! (Dasher runs forward. He is still wearing an apron and a hat from his job as a pizza delivery person.) DASHER: Take your order, sir? I mean sir, yes, sir! We’ve got to do better. RUDOLPH: Dasher, I know you work the rest of the year as the speediest pizza delivery deer in the North Pole, but your job as a member of Santa’s elite team of reindeer has to take first priority. DASHER: But sir! I…I…I… RUDOLPH: (in a warning tone) Dasher? DASHER: (unhappily as he gets back in line) Yes sir, we’ve got to do better. RUDOLPH: Prancer! (Prancer does a funny ballet-like dance move to step forward from the line.) PRANCER: Yes, Mr. Rudolph! I’m ready for my close-up! RUDOLPH: Prancer! I know that your job as a dance instructor at the Arthur Murray Studios is very important to you, and goodness knows, those snowmen do need some training…but your first duty has to be to Santa and I expect so much more out of you! PRANCER: (very offended) Well! I never! Please remember, Rudolph, I am classically trained! (He gets back in line.) RUDOLPH: (rolling his eyes) Whatever! Now listen up, all of you! I know this job is voluntary and it may seem ridiculous to train all year long for only one night a year. But, we must remember the importance of our absolute mission. Training is everything, so that when Santa finally rings that bell, signaling that it’s time for us to go, we never let him down. (all the reindeer agree) RUDOLPH: Are we in agreement here? ALL REINDEER: Sir! Yes sir! RUDOLPH: I can’t heeeear you! REINDEER: Sir! Yes sir! SONG #2: The Four-Hooved, Flying, Red-Nosed Reindeer, Volunteer Delivery Corps! SUNG: …We’re the four-hooved, flying, red-nosed reindeer, volunteer delivery corps. DANCER: Oh man! You da reindeer! BLITZEN: No, you da reindeer! DANCER: No, you da reindeer! RUDOLPH: (looking at his watch) Twenty eight seconds! That’s just not fast enough! We have to do better! (all looked disappointed) Cupid, quit spending so much time trying to match up Donner and Vixen…and Comet, I’m not even going to deal with you right now! Now, let’s try it again! SUNG: …We’re the four-hooved, flying, red-nosed reindeer, volunteer delivery corps. RUDOLPH: (again looking at his watch) Faster! Faster! It’s just not good enough! I know you can do it!! ELF 5: Hey guys, you forgot the toys! NORTH POLE EXPOSURE – SCENE 3 – INTO I’M TIRED SCENE (Ideally, this scene would take place in front of the curtain, so the Elf Scene can get set up.) KID 11: (to Santa) Wow! Well, that was a pretty impressive herd. I can see why you are so proud of them. SANTA: Well, they’ve got some work to do, but they’re coming along. Speaking of coming along, if you think those reindeer are impressive, wait ‘til you get a load of my team of elves. These folks are the hardest working citizens of the entire North Pole! KID 12: Come on, Santa! Do you really expect us to believe that a bunch of elves are really responsible for all the toys that show up under the Christmas trees all over the world on December the 25th? SANTA: You bet they do! These elves are the ones who really make me look good.