Red Zone Yellow Zone Green Zone Behavior Zones

Zone Type Examples Response Tools

hurt someone physically attack someone’s self respect Prevention Moral harm something Always Red zone transgressions take without permission unacceptable Guidance mislead (break trust) Consequences break contract (break trust)

manners Conventional clothing Prevention Yellow zone transgressions cleanliness Situational chores Guidance

playing in sandbox Acceptable playing sports Permit 1 painting Green zone behavior taking meals

1 Any behavior can become a red or yellow zone transgression (e.g., throwing sand in another child’s face while playing in the sandbox)

Behavior zones

Make deposits in Provide Teach values relationship Security and behavior

• Change your thinking • Change the surroundings • Show interest in what your • Move physically closer • Demonstrate the desirable about the misbehavior • Change the activity child does • Provide reassuring routines behavior yourself • Allow minor misbehavior • Physically redirect • Provide real affection • Provide transitions • Tell stories to make a point • Enjoy each other’s • Give speciﬁc instructions company • “Catch” child being good • Give progress report • Prepare child for difﬁculty

Unnumbered Prevention tool

Prevention

• Disconnect (if END safe)

• Stay relaxed Yes • Stack your resources Yes Is the misbehavior Does the misbehavior stop? No in the Red Start Yes Zone? • Remind child of • Ask child to Is the Go to Go to rule Am I feeling restate rule behavior No Prevention chart • Give permission Prevention chart • Make a polite • Ask for No dangerous? upset? (Adjust self) (Nurture child) request solutions • Explain limits • Ask for consequences Back to • Say “No!” • Seek Start Yes No No No No professional help in Guidance

Did the Is what I Have I Does child No Is my child No • Stop behavior No child expect taught my know upset? Yes Yes Yes choose to reasonable? child what behavior is misbehave? to do? wrong? Is the Yes misbehavior Yes in the Red No

Yes Zone? Is this a recurring problem? • Stay relaxed Provide Is the child

• Yes Yes • Ignore irrelevant Is the child Yes opportunity to deﬁant? behavior tired? rest • Offer substitutes Go to • Remove child Consequences

from situation No ﬂowchart • Restrain child No

Use humor • Redirect thinking Emphasize • • Contract Is there a positive thinking • Compromise Adjust and Provide a hearing • physical Yes • • Help with accommodate Afﬁrm feelings and • problem? • frustrating tasks thoughts Unnumbered Guidance tool Have child repeat Ask for help to • • the action understand Response not included as RD tool No Question

• Explore Guidance reasons for © 2010 Charles A. Smith misbehavior This chart is intended for use in the Responsive Discipline online course. END Yes • Expect restitution Does the misbehavior stop? END No Yes Yes

Return to • Expect Is • Time out • Express strong • Natural restitution • Ground Does the misbehavior stop? disappointment consequences Remove the restitution No Start • possible? • Substitute thing (deprive) restitution 1 No Yes No Yes Yes

Return to

Is the Does the Are natural Did the child misbehavior Did the child Start Yes child reveal Yes consequences No misuse No Start in the RED likely? something? harm a person? zone? shame? restitution END No No Yes Is the misbehavior Did the child • Expect • Return to break a trust restitution Does the misbehavior stop? in the Yes Guidance Chart Yes YELLOW or contract? • Ground the zone? child No No No

The behavior • Return to Start is GREEN Return to Start zone so • PERMIT Unnumbered Consequences tool

Response not included as RD tool

Question 1A restitution made to someone or something other than the person Consequences

Fair Are you being fair with your child; can the child do what you expect?

Clear Does the child understand what you mean, are you speciﬁc?

Positive Does your child know what to do, not just what not to do?

Consistent Can your child expect the limit and your enforcement to be the stable over time?

Enforceable Do you know when the limit is disobeyed?

Dynamic Does the limit evolve over time to accommodate the child’s age? Being dynamic does not mean the limit is inconsistent. Being consistent does not mean never changing. Once a limit changes to adjust to the child’s age, then it should be stable.

Effective limits