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Forty Stories New Writing from HARPER P ERENNI AL A Fifty-Two Stories Production with fiction by Jess Walter • Lindsay Hunter • Shane Jones • Blake Butler Catherine Lacey • Roxane Gay • Matthew Norman • Jamie Quatro Kyle Minor • Kayden Kross • Ben Greenman • Greg Bardsley and more . FOREWORD BY CAL MORGAN 40_Stories_Final.indd 3 6/18/12 5:38 PM FORTY STORIES. Copyright © 2012 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address HarperCollins Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022. HarperCollins books may be purchased for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information please write: Special Markets Department, HarperCollins Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022. FIRST EDITION “Ambivalence” © by Ben Greenman. “Amy Having a Heart Attack” © by Sharon Goldner. “The Anarchist of Darwin” © by Michael Ramberg. “Another Terrible Thing” © by Catherine Lacey. “Barnacles of the Fuzz” © by D. Foy. “Basslines” © by Adam Wilson. “Because You Asked” © by Karon Luddy. “Before the Trip” © by Adetokunbo Abiola. “The Beginning of the Summation of Our Dead” © by Blake Butler. “Birthright City” © by Eliezra Schaffzin. “Can a Corn” © by Jess Walter. “Confluence” © by Mesha Maren. “Djeser Djeseru (Splendor of Splendors)” © by Paula Younger. “Eighty-six Ways to Cross One Desert” © by Alexander Lumans. “Everyone Loves a Person Who Doesn’t Give a Fuck About Anything” © by Laura Jane Faulds. “Fire Weather” © by Brady Hammes. “A Girl” © by Lindsay Hunter. “Glossola- lia” © by Kyle Minor. “God’s Plan” © by Daniel Browne. “Granaby” © by Brandon Hobson. “Graveyards” © by Scott McClanahan. “Head Down. Palm Up” © by Mitchell S. Jackson. “Hers” © by O. A. Lindsey. “The Highline Highway” © by Nathan Oates. “House Guests” © by Alan Rossi. “I Like Looking at Pictures of Gwen Stefani” © by Elizabeth Crane. “I’ll Take You There” © by David Williams. “In the Manner of Water or Light” © by Roxane Gay. “Jail Break” © by Matt Stewart. “Jon and Maeve” © by David Backer. “Miss November” © by Mat- thew Norman. “Most Wanted” © by Eric Raymond. “The Mountain Population Is Me” © by Shane Jones. “opal one, opal two” © by Tessa Mellas. “A Plain Kiss (Letters to Allison, 2006)” © by Jamie Quatro. “Plank” © by Kayden Kross. “Poof” © by Joseph Scapellato. “Some Kind of Rugged Genius” © by Greg Bardsley. “What Good Is an Ark to a Fish?” © by Kelli Ford. “You Can Touch This!” © by Jim Hanas. All stories used by permission. Epub Edition © July 2012 ISBN 978-0-06-223906-8 40_Stories_Final.indd 4 6/18/12 5:38 PM For Carrie Kania 40_Stories_Final.indd 5 6/18/12 5:38 PM 40_Stories_Final.indd 6 6/18/12 5:38 PM Contents Foreword xi 1. Ambivalence by Ben Greenman 1 2. Amy Having a Heart Attack by Sharon Goldner 9 3. The Anarchist of Darwin by Michael Ramberg 17 4. Another Terrible Thing by Catherine Lacey 28 5. Barnacles of the Fuzz by D. Foy 33 6. Basslines by Adam Wilson 44 7. Because You Asked by Karon Luddy 49 8. Before the Trip by Adetokunbo Abiola 54 9. The Beginning of the Summation of Our Dead by Blake Butler 68 40_Stories_Final.indd 7 6/18/12 5:38 PM 10. Birthright City by Eliezra Schaffzin 71 11. Can a Corn by Jess Walter 93 12. Confluenceby Mesha Maren 95 13. Djeser Djeseru (Splendor of Splendors) by Paula Younger 105 14. Eighty-six Ways to Cross One Desert by Alexander Lumans 125 15. Everyone Loves a Person Who Doesn’t Give a Fuck About Anything by Laura Jane Faulds 128 16. Fire Weather by Brady Hammes 141 17. A Girl by Lindsay Hunter 155 18. Glossolalia by Kyle Minor 159 19. God’s Plan by Daniel Browne 175 20. Granaby by Brandon Hobson 188 21. Graveyards by Scott McClanahan 202 22. Head Down, Palm Up by Mitchell S. Jackson 207 23. Hers by O. A. Lindsey 217 24. The Highline Highway by Nathan Oates 232 25. House Guests by Alan Rossi 250 26. I Like Looking at Pictures of Gwen Stefani by Elizabeth Crane 260 40_Stories_Final.indd 8 6/18/12 5:38 PM 27. I’ll Take You There by David Williams 263 28. In the Manner of Water or Light by Roxane Gay 274 29. Jail Break by Matt Stewart 285 30. Jon and Maeve by David Backer 292 31. Miss November by Matthew Norman 298 32. Most Wanted by Eric Raymond 309 33. The Mountain Population Is Me by Shane Jones 320 34. opal one, opal two by Tessa Mellas 324 35. A Plain Kiss (Letters to Allison, 2006) by Jamie Quatro 333 36. Plank by Kayden Kross 344 37. Poof by Joseph Scapellato 348 38. Some Kind of Rugged Genius by Greg Bardsley 351 39. What Good Is an Ark to a Fish? by Kelli Ford 361 40. You Can Touch This! by Jim Hanas 380 40_Stories_Final.indd 9 6/18/12 5:38 PM 40_Stories_Final.indd 10 6/18/12 5:38 PM This book ushers you into many worlds, all of them our world. It is full of voices, sounds, and people. Stay with them, and they will stay with you. The stories here represent eight tenths of a year. A year that kept slipping, yet also kept giving. Their writers gave them freely, and we do, too. Like all stories, they work in a thousand ways. Some lull, some lure. Some pinch, some stretch. Some are like a thicket, some a formal garden; others seem like valleys slick with rain. All replenish and reward. They reveal, too: That we want to be right, but we need to want. That we’re scared and thrilled when we recognize ourselves in others. That bruising up against rules, measuring ourselves against them and despite them, is what we do as a people, what we share and need to share. That cynicism is dead and ambiguity is anything but. That language is alive and so are we. Thanks to you for writing them and for reading them. Cal Morgan June 2012 40_Stories_Final.indd 11 6/21/12 3:24 PM 40_Stories_Final.indd 12 6/18/12 5:38 PM Forty Stories 40_Stories_Final.indd 13 6/18/12 5:38 PM 40_Stories_Final.indd 14 6/18/12 5:38 PM 1. Ambivalence by Ben Greenman When a girl is skinny, and calls you late at night, and you glance at the calendar, and it is four days before you are scheduled to get mar- ried, and the girl you are marrying is not the skinny girl but another girl, a girl who has already departed for the city where your wedding is to be held, it is your job, most probably, to hang up the phone. When you do not hang up the phone, you have not done your job. When you invite that skinny girl to your apartment, and then you jump into the shower so that you will be clean, taking special trouble to wash the parts that matter, and then you mess up your hair so that you will look as though you haven’t gone to any special trouble, then you are doing another job entirely. She was a painter. Panos met her through a mutual friend. She had a boyfriend, who was twenty-two years older than she, and when Panos first spoke to her, he said that he thought that the age differ- ence was an atrocity. “Like bombing Cambodia,” he said, convinced that this was a joke that she would not understand. She surprised him with a knowing laugh. They talked about his impending mar- riage, and about the week of freedom he had but doubted he’d use. She took out a Paper-Mate blue pen and used it to write his phone number on her hand. She wrote it strangely: not with numerals, but with letters “O” for 1, “T” for 2, “TH” for 3, “F,” “FI,” and so on. “So that makes your number ‘Efstooth,’” she said. 40_Stories_Final.indd 1 6/18/12 5:38 PM 2 Ben Greenman “Hey,” Panos said. “That’s my street: Efstooth Avenue.” “For that joke I award you this pen,” she said, handing it over ceremonially. “I’ll get it later.” When she arrived at Panos’s apartment, “Efstooth” was still inked on her hand, but that was not the first thing he noticed. The first thing he noticed was that she was carrying a suitcase. It was small enough that she held it rather than setting it down, but large enough that it seemed to have winded her slightly on the way up to the third floor. “Are you moving in?” he said. “I don’t know how my wife will feel about this.” She set the suitcase down on the floor, unzipped it, and flipped back the top. There were white packages there, white sheets, and when she unwrapped them they were her paintings. She spread them out on the floor of his apartment. There were ten of them, each one a small landscape with a single bird flying over a marsh and a single human figure in the foreground. They were slightly different shades, one reddish, one greenish, one dunnish, and so on, across a muted spectrum. Panos looked at the paintings and asked polite questions about them that she answered smoothly. “I like to tell people that he’s trying to capture the bird,” she said. “I always feel hilarious saying that. But the bird’s not an unwitting victim. He sees the man.