FELIX Newspaper of Imperial College Union 12th December, 1972
(Seasonal QteetWQs!
INSIDE: Free Gift for you to keep; News; Reviews; lots of political comment; Lots of letters; lots of other things, including Phosphorous the )obrot & Ferocious Din and the landsnapper Sneeze December 12, 1972 Page 2 FELIX
Action called for Community Action Group against Southside CHRISTMAS APPEAL
job security threat Wanted: Only fifteen people turned up to Thursday's SocSoc meeting where OLD CLOTHES FOOD Brian Grogan (of Red Mole) talked about the Wage Freeze and two (and shoes and boots) (tea, coffee, sugar, powdered milk, tinned National Union of Public Employees (NUPE) shop stewards talked food, cigarettes, sweets, chocolate . . .) JUMBLE about the job security threat to Southside cleaners. ETC. Two shop stewards of freeze was through united belief that the first neces TOYS (paper cups, books, blankets . . .) NUPE, who work as Mes- workers' action while they sity was the defeat of sengers in the College, are still in this strong and the Tories. He was also spoke on the administra- united position. adamant that a campaign tion's plan to reduce the He went on to a de- for "Labour Government for: cleaning staff in Southside tailed discussion of the committed to Socialist through "natural wast- relative policies of the policies" as put forward KIDS age". Andy O'Brien, Elec- Communist Party, and the by workers press was to- Marylands Adventure Playground in North Paddington was originally set up with trical Engineering messen- -International Marxist tally useless. His lengthy funds from an l.C. Rag. The Playgroup is desperately short of money so a ger said that both the Group on the overthrow discourse on the latter Winter Carnival with a jumble stall, bonfire, visit from father Christmas, etc., workers and the students of capitalism. An Inter- degenerated into a fierce is being held for the kids and their parents. We hope to provide them with must support the struggle national Marxist himself, dialogue with a member jumble, presents to be distributed by Father Christmas, and a soup stall. against this happening, he attacked the CP's of another faction. and said that NUPE staff DOSSERS other than cleaners were Each year the St. Mungo Community Trust holds a Christmas Party for the prepared to take industri- vagrants on the embankment. Their most desperate need is for food, warm al ar»ion should the Col- The main message agreed upon at Thurs- clothing, shoes and blankets, but cigarettes, etc. would also be appreciated. Each dosser will be given a small parcel containing various items depending lege proceed with this day's meeting was that there should be a hall plan. on the amount of articles collected. A number of items of clothing collected rents strike for higher grants and against cut- will be kept for distribution on the Community Action soup run. It was explained that backs in cleaners' jobs. the College, through its OLD FOLK Domestic Bursar, Mr. Community Action is hoping to hold a party on Christmas Day for some of the The proposed rent strike would have four Carl Seaford, was putting old people in Notting Hill we had contact with last year. Food and presents forward the plan to re- demands: needed. duce cleaning staff in an Allocation of gifts will be according to suitability for the various projects attempt to maintain the 1) £100 increase in the grant now We are hoping to place boxes in the following places: profit ratio on Halls of Entrance to l.C. Union (definite) * l.C. Union Office (definite) * Selkirk and Keogh Residence, and to keep 2) No cut-back in cleaners' jobs. Hall entrance * Tizard and Falmouth Hall entrance * Linstead Hall * Weeks Hall rents down. Andy O'Brien Beit Hall * Garden Hall * Student Houses * J.C.R. (College Block) * Entrance to said that the College College Block * Q.E.C. Refectory * Q.E.C. Bar * Institute Francais claimed that wages took 3) No rent increases 67 per cent of total hall re- For more information contact Community Action Group, c/o l.C. Union venue; the college would 4) The DES must pay for all future halls. prefer them to only take ALL GIFTS HOWEVER SMALL, WILL BE APPRECIATED 33 per cent like the stu- The subject of rent strikes will be taken to Many thanks dent houses in Evelyn the first UGM of next term, and the meeting Gardens. He pointed out that the standard of clean- called upon students not to pay their hall bills ing was also correspond- until then. ingly different, and asked the meeting whether it Record Service in l.C. thought it preferable that the cleanliness of halls be Records cost such a Colin McCall or one of buys the records to order reduced. fantastic amount that the the other people on the from a record dealer. In student has difficulty in Sounds Service stall in the He and Ron Parker, this way, the records are We have 900 affording the prices that J.C.R., College Block, purchased new and in bet- Beit messenger, stressed during lunch break on are charged for records. ter condition than one re- the importance of a joint To counteract this the Tuesday, Thursday, or workers and students Sounds Service in IC is Friday every week until ceives them from most re- struggle. lone girls here" being operated so that stu- the Union Room-at-the- cord stores, at much less (More detailed discus- dents may buy records at top is ready. than the full retail price. sion of the problem ap- That's the message of a letter from the Hampstead 10—15 per cent off the Orders may also be for- There is no middle-man pears in CEFE's "Opin- recommended retail price. warded through the inter- making a fortune out of Garden Suburb Institute asking for virile young men ion" column on page 9 of This means that a record nal mail to Colin MoCall, the record-buying public, this issue). to attend their dance on Saturday, December 16. The that normally sells for ELEC, ENG 2 . . . just a group of students £2.30 costs the student Before this, the meeting price is dirt cheap — 30p — and in their words they The records are ordered who want to enable their £1.91 and £2.50 records from a supplier of rec- had listened to a speech would "be delighted to see as marry men as possible". fellow students to listen to by Brian Grogan. cost £2.05. ords to most of the uni- Paul Wadsworth, I.C. Ents magnate, has got some versities and colleges in the music of their own Mr. Grogan concentra- To take advantage of tickets for sale, and can be found invariably in the this great cost-cutting ser- the Home Counties, who choice with the minimum ted his talk on the "Crisis collates all his orders and of cost. of Capitalism" in view of Union office at mnchtimes. The price includes Disco, vice, just drop in and see "the falling profits since wine, food and GAMES (!!??). 1962". He said that this crisis had thrown the rul-. ing class into confusion, 1-1 ike-fruit-fresh felix-on-december-12-a-tuesday-as-always-was-edited- and they were trying to by-Oliverdowson. With-in-alphabetical-p-and-b-are-bi-labiel-(lips-in- re-unite themselves, both latin)-plosives-order, felix-no.-322, repeat-with-contributions-in- Tory and Labour Party STIRLING LATEST alphabetical-order,-by,-and-labour-of-Philipamodio-Sidamor- capitalists, through the Robarmitage-Mcb-Johncave-Bobcarter-Petercrawford-Derekcummings- wage freeze. Citing what The first student to appear before the discipline Marydunne-Arnoldsprog with arnold-Davehobman-Johnhorsefall- he called an attempt to committu; was found guilty of "Conduct prejudicial to Grahamking-and the rest-of the cast-of one-Adriansmith. Contributions- for-"felix",-not-in-a-bathwarmer-are-most -definitely-welcome,-and- demoralise the working the good order and interests of the University by ob- class through the unem- should-be-addressed-to-the-Editor-oliverdowson-(residence- ployment problem, he taining entry to a reception at the MacRobert Centre Weekshallroom-14ourteen). said that the working class without having been invited". had never been more un- National Advertising contractors are University Press Representation, ited and more self-confid- He is appealing against the verdict. Grand Buildings, Trafalgar Square, WC1, 01-930 1322. ent — the reverse of what The nature of the committee is best described by the government wanted Mr. George More, the Solicitor representing the stu- London advertising by Felix Advertising, Imperial College Union, had happened. London SW7 2BB, 091-589 5111 Ext 2229. dents. He describes the committee as "unbelievably In his view, the only biased". Furthermore Mr. More stated "Every defence way to get rid of the wage Printed by F. Bailey & Son Ltd., Dursley, Gloucestershire. objection was over-ruled, every prosecution objection was upheld and I was not allowed to call all the wit- Published by the editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College SUMMER JOBS IN nesses whose evidence I thought would be relevant." Union Publications Board. THE SUN? Why not work in the West The cases are likely to go on for many weeks, per- AII-material-copyright-©-Felix-1972. Country next summer? Send s.a.e. for full details of jobs haps months. 23 more students including 15 council available. Tression Ltd., members were charged and the authorities are de- "Felix-is-a-founder-member-of-the-Londonstudentpressassociation-Foot. Tredrea Inn, Porthcothan Bay, Padstow, Cornwall. manding expulsions. Tuesday, December 12,1972 FELIX Page 3
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all our readers
Presenting . . . FELIX'S FREE CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU
In past years Felix readers everywhere, and especially in Imperial College have enthused over the free gifts that have been regularly given away in the Christmas issue of "Felix". You've taken the Felixpill, got high on Felix Grass, rolled your own contraceptives, built the Felix model of the Albert Memorial, and pasted the Council Christmas Tree poster on your wall. Now, to prove that we're still absolutely and utterly mad, we are proud to present this year's gift to you As usual the gift has myriad uses — but as a special offer this year, we're doubling our gifts — every reader gets TWO MAGIC FELIX CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
MAGIC FELIX CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Yes, light up your tree with these lights. First obtain a box of ordinary safety matches. Strike the black knobbed end of the MAGIC FELIX CHRIST- MAS LIGHT stick against the black phosphorous stuff on the side of the matchbox, and the light will magically activate. Hold the MAGIC FELIX CHRISTMAS LIGHT stick under your tree, and watch it light up!! And you can do it twice since we're giving you two MAGIC FELIX CHRISTMAS LIGHT sticks. Or use the other stick for another groovy Christmassy use. Try inserting it between two eyelids as a prop on Boxing Day morning. Try sticking it into a potato and making a single-spined hedgehog. Get a lot of other Felix readers together, put your MAGIC FELIX CHRISTMAS LIGHT sticks together, and you can play Nim. Try ringing 01-937 0102 and tell them you've got the perfect match and that you're striking up a new relationship, and tell them what you think of their computer. If your girl-friend wears acetate-framed spectacles, strike the MAGIC CHRISTMAS LIGHT as in the instructions above for light- ing up the tree and hold it to them . . . and watch her eyes light up instantly! You can magically transform this print into illuminated script, just by holding the magic stick under it. You can boast to your friends, that, even if you hadn't already, you've now got a blackhead — and a white stem. Get the whole family together to play this super game — buy a box of things called "Safety Matches" from a reputable tobacconist — it will only cost you a penny or two — and pop the FELIX MAGIC CHRISTMAS LIGHT stick inside. Then play hunting the MAGIC CHRISTMAS LIGHT STICK!! Hours of fun for all the family. And, having indulged in all these festivities, you will be able to delight all your acquaintances with you new found fiery temperament. Have fun, and happy Christmas!
Another ooj^estlon for nsmg your Page 4 FELIX December 12, 1972: Letter from America Cambridge, murder. It was a pretty Readers' Letters New York State, funny show, with ; Colpmbo U.S.A. being the archetypal, 'over- Sir,—This letter, as your zealous, camera - hugging, overwhelming perception willbrash, sleazy American tour- subject (and with subjects pared (as he does) with a already have noted, is com- ist every Briton loves to hate, TUC General Strike, in the ing to you from the frenetic whilst, as an incident, sol- such as autonomy, grants, Jews- :In defence same way as a strike by precincts of the U.S.A.,' ving the murder'. It was sol there are very many) t^?t to-just postmen (say) cannot be known to its residents as ved, and this brings us close gether and form one main compared with a general America or the most power- to the point, in the London strike of all workers. It is ful country in the World. Wax Museum. i of NUS , motion with several amend- true to say that students domore Both these statements are, Having already passed an ments. Thus a main motion not have the same economic of course, open to the de- enjoyable two hours pointing Sir,—Ross McBeath ob- power as other workers in bate that their inherent dis- out the landmarks to the is an amalgam of the ideas that simply not attending lec-confusion crepancies cause; however, locals here (happiness is be- viously did not enjoy what of many people, is not very tures does not have the same being subject myself to a ing the centre of attention) was presumably his first NUS controversial and is bound effect as electricity workers similar kind of paranoia as the picture changed after a not turning up to work. But Sir,—In reply to Sonia permeates the land, I find Conference. . Most of the to get a lot of support. This message from Big Wally even boycott of lectures has Hochfelder's letter, subtitled myself temporarily lodged about a paint -and the scene other IC students who were is very necessary because if been used successfully in within its somewhat grossly was the London Wax Mu- in Margate disagree entirely some colleges to achieve cer-"Jews, Jowitt and Jeneralisa- mapped confines. Being also, main motions were very con- seum. There follows the text tain aims, particularly in dis-tions", I think we both as many within your institu- with his report on this con- troversial they would often putes within colleges or de- of a conversation between missed slightly the point of tion can verify, somewhat Will, 14-year-old son of the ference. partments rather than on a americanized in style, I am be rejected and NUS policy family, and Ian, occasional national scale. One does not your article and my letter. also forced into a position Conference was not just would never be updated. have the power to bring the of believing fervently in the family appendage (that's If I conveyed the opinion me)'- a fight between the Commun-This also results in greater country to a halt in order to maxim, "when in Rome do as achieve anything; a strike of that I accused you of saying ist Party and the Trotskyists democracy as much of policy Rome does". Will: "We went there, teachers, cleaners, television the Israeli Government was ; as he states. Unlike at pre- is decided at college level— workers and many others Which leads obviously, didnt we?" i involved directly with the when residing with an Ameri- Ian: "Hell, no. You went vious conferences, at this in the submitting of main does not bring the country can family in a small town in to Madame Tussaud's" to a halt but this does not Munich Olympics, then I am conference the Trotskyists motions. New England, to passing the Will: "So Where's that?" prevent them from using thissorry. My letter was aimed evenings lounging in gracious Ian: "On Baker Street". were very little in evidence tactic successfully. Students In future things will be can and must use the power at trying to establish why the harmony in the sitting room, Will: "Jeez, are you ever and where they did put their glued unrelentlessly to the dumb. I meant where's the even more democratic due they have to the best they Jews appear to have been line it was generally over- television. Within this parti- London Wax Museum, stup- to a motion passed in Con- can. Rather than withdraw-persecuted for as long as cularly remarkable little in- id!?" whelmingly rejected. The ing their labour, students ference Reform putting the have more power to withdrawhistory records. I did not strument reside some quite Ian adopts musing pose, main opposition to the exec amazing characters. Aside ruminating simultaneously date of the November con- their money, i.e. to not pay state that your facts were from their remarkable ability over the despicable quality utive on the grants motion, rent or high prices in refec- ference two weeks later so tories, etc. If this is properly unsubstantiated, although I to be green one day and of Will's vocabulary, and the for example, came from col- purple the next, their extremevaguely familiar bastion that motions no longer have organised nationally with can and do doubt their val- leges such as UCL, IC, tenacity in the face of con- housing the London Wax to be submitted before the students in each college tak-idity. tinued odds, which inci- Museum. Then laughs. Whitelands and Sussex, who beginning of the Autumn ing the action most suitable term — a very useful re- to their situation, we will dentally would put any ordi- Ian: "Good grief! They were rejecting the Exec's I refute the accusations nary 22 inch tall person out form which Ross McBeath have an effect on the govern-that my letter was an attempt finally found a decent use did not mention when con- ment. Recently students have of action in less than no for it". vague and limited demands to show off my knowledge of time, remain incredible feats demning the previous system. had an important effect in Will: "For what?" and instead putting forward forcing the government to ancient history, and that I of endurance to my meagre Ian: "The London Wax accused the author of the human eyes. Aside from clear demands which were Any student has the right withdraw its proposals to Museum". to submit a motion for NUS cut union autonomy. R. Mc-CEFE article (Sonia) of be- these superb qualities, and Will: . "You said there more likely to initiate a suc- ing a supporter of the Black many others unmentioned, Conference at a UGM in his Beath simply "does not in- wasn't a London Wax Mu- cessful campaign on grants college and if your union clude this". Students in September Movement. / am there exists a kind of eleva- seum". glad to hear that Sonia does ted status amongst these which is what all students agrees with it, it goes for- individual colleges have had Ian: "That's what I said, I ward to NUS. Thus you are not support the terrorist acti- mass-produced mini-people, want. In proposing that we successes by using the pow- hope there is now". perfectly at liberty to put in er they have. If you just do vity, although as an effective raising them above us ordi- organisation it takes some nary whelks, in our ordinary Will: "Why don't you everfight for abolition of the some nice reactionary mo- not include the successes, view, of course. talk sense?" means test we were attempt- tions such as "let's all have but only look at everything beating. My letter did how- Ian: "Listen, peasant. That a decrease in grants or a else then you are bound to ever promote some interest- Take Mark Spitz, for ex- building with London Wax ing to get the NUS Exec to loans system, let's have come to the conclusion that ing discussion (not only ample. His handsome face Museum written on it— accept an aim that most stu- Maggie Thatcher controlling students have no power butthrough the columns of / went to college there." everything the unions do, "Felix", but in conversation graces the screen with mon- dents have already agreed to this simply becomes ridicu- otonous regularity, enthusing Will: (cracking up): "You let's pay higher hall fees, lous. too). I thank Sonia for clari- over himself in various pro- What? (helpless giggles). so that in this case the CP etc.". If your union has a fying the CEFE article, but ducts which he uses; in- You went to College?" was being reactionary. (For a large right wing element as the question of the pro- cluding approximately four Ian (with a feeble attempt R. McBeath seems to think longed history of the perse- fuller report on this see It is through NUS that makes of aftershave and at firmness): "Yes I did. For there is, then such motions national campaigns can bestcution of the Jews still re- cologne, which has led to seven weeks I attended the CEFE No. 8). will get passed and go to be organised. NUS is our mains unanswered. "Next our presumptuously cynicalImperial College, London". conference. Would it be too national union and as such time, please, Sonia, read the supposition that he must Ross McBeath complains much to say that this does is very relevant. Of course article before criticising it". not happen because students swim in the stuff. Another I did and am proud of it. that the main motions were some people in any situation Thank you for the interesting chap who appears, less regu-And so the purpose of this do not in general agree with like to sit back and watch points. larly, is a sugar-tongued letter is to wish everybody always passed, and says this such proposals? others fight for them and Californian with a genius for well, for it was a warm was because the delegates then reap the benqfits. I Yours T.T.C.C.H., saying nothing in more than feeling seeing Prince Con-, had actually forgotten what As for the delegates to don't. Of course NUS has its PAUL JEW ITT. a thousand words, known assort Road again. Hope there's conference, one cannot get faults but it is up to us to Richard Nixon. We are told not still as much horniness they were. Maybe he, as away from the fact that they remedy them rather than The FELIX abbreviations that he has a second job as when I was there, bad for press officer, was not payingare elected. If our union withdraw and make NUS expert is now convinced that which has something to do the soul, don't you know. even less effective. proper attention but the dele-elects Piers Corbyn to go to "T.T.C.C.H." has a more with running the corruptry; Maybe a little less logic NUS, it means that our sinister meaning than "Tilt sorry, that should be coun- would come in handy too. gates were perfectly well union wants to be represent- Felix should certainly in- the cows come home". Sug- try. Greetings to Mr. Cory and aware of what the main ed by Piers Corbyn. If Tory clude personal minority opin-gestions welcomed. the dude on the sixth floor of students want Tory dele- ions but not as the main Another character who motion was. we are here rather fond of is Elec Eng with the pretty gates they can elect them. news report on something as a chap who works. for the wife, the glasses, and the important as NUS Confer- name I remember as being Main motions are often Los Angeles police depart- Finally R. McBeath denies ence. Students who were not Sir,—/ would like to reply ment (turn left at the drap- unforgettable but ' can't re- passed because of the way that students have any powerthere should have the oppor- member; Phil, George, John to the letters from G. IV. ery department) known as they are put together: In theto achieve their aims. This tunity to judge for them- Foot in the last issue of Harding et al. is the argument continually selves rather than be present- Joe Colombo, Colombo to compositing session which "Felix", but I have to write his friends. And he's just Love, put forward by the Trotsky- ed with a set of arguments articles for Felix — so I been on! Brightening up our IAN STOCK. takes place before the de- ists and is an excuse for not in favour of leaving NUS. haven't got time. Sunday evening was an NBC P.S. Pardon this stupidity, bate in conference, all the doing anything more than mystery movie special with but if Theresa had called it generally supporting workers' Yours sincerely, Regards, Colombo helping good old wouldn't have been neces- colleges which have submit- struggles. A "national stud- New Scotland Yard solve a sary. ted motions on a particular ent strike" cannot be com- SON!A HOCHFELDER. DAVID HOBMAN. The Landsnapper Sneeze Tuesday, December 12,1972 FELIX Page 5
The problem of student accommodation is a con- tentious subject about which almost everyone in the land is aware. Last month, the National Union of Students' conference at Margate involved itself in some pretty fiery discussion about it, and saw themselves splashed in the headlines by passing resolutions to stage rent strikes and so forth. Yes, almost everyone is aware of the problem, but that is not to say that everyone can define FELIX FINANCIALLY it. What it really comes down to is a difficulty in finding a reasonable place to live at a reasonable rent — a difficulty made almost an impossibility as long as student grants remain fixed and the cost of living and the level of rents continues to rise. In short, what is glibly referred to as the prob- lem of student accommodation, is the personal anguish of a student trying to stretch his meagre our new Halls income sufficiently to pay the rent. And there's little comfort for him in knowing that the problem can only get worse. The enormous pressure of more and more young people leaving their parents' homes and looking for a place of their own is already swamping the pool of available accommodation. The inevitable effect is that rents are rising and will continue to do to. esidence ? There is only one way to get off this weary treadmill — and that is simply to build more places barrassed by its lack of money. Even with the land, for students to live. there, doing nothing in particular except looking it can't afford to build. yellow and interesting. Of course, it's obvious. So now, let's consider the money. Who has it? I'm talking figuratively, of course. Those gold But perhaps it's so obvious that we get blinded Why, of course, the banks. bars represent the idle capital which all banks have to the possibilities of simple solutions. Of course, Now, all students know that these vast institu- on hand, waiting to be put to good and profitable there are enormous difficulties involved, and even tions spend a small fortune every year in trying to purpose. to think of them is enough to make most people persuade students to open accounts with them. And that is the crux of the matter. shudder and dismiss the idea as beyond achieve- They offer this facility and that advantage, and they ment. I on'ly suggest that instead of leaving it there, the throw in credit cards on top, hoping, of course, to bank—that is, any bank with sufficient imagin- But is it really impossible? attract the potential top-income man while he is ation — take several cartloads of their gold bars You may remember that last month in this col- young. and turn them into bricks and mortar, upon which umn, FELIX FINANCIALLY's consultant DEREK E. The most the banks can hope for is to hang on to they would earn money. CUMMINGS promised to put forward a solution, a sufficient percentage of such accounts in later In short, use them to put up the money to build suggesting what could be done, how it could be years, to make the expenditure worthwhile. done and by whom. halls of residence. Now, we have a useful equation. Personally, I am always horrified at the stupidity The land held by the GLC plus the money from the This is his blueprint for action. of the banks. The National Westminster, for ex- banks equals more student accommodation. ample, as we all know, has a virtual monopoly at Furthermore, there is benefit to each of the parts So you're thinking of a rent strike. Imperial College and yet they do almost nothing to of the equation. You, and the National Union of Students to encourage their student customers to put their The GLC can fulfil its obligation to provide ac- which you belong, have grown impatient with the faith and their money in their hands. commodation for students: the banks will be situation that rising costs have dropped you into, Any of you who have ever had to queue for putting their gold bars to use and earning money on and you are going to express your frustration and twenty minutes to cash your grant cheque will know them: and the students will have somewhere to dissatisfaction by organising a protest. what I mean. live. All right, you have every right to be unhappy and They're in a lovely position, and it makes other Additionally, it is very likely that any bank which have every right to protest about it. banks green when they think about it. I went, for has the foresight to fund such an operation will But in my view you are wasting your time. instance, to the Midland Bank and found them reap the additional benefit of gathering the ac- A rent strike may well make a good headline. A bleating about not getting student accounts. counts of the students they are helping. protest march with banners flying may well make But the chance to get those accounts is entirely It seems to me there is logic in this argument good television pictures. But in the end, what are in their hands. They could get the lot, I should as well as considerable advantage to everyone con- they likely to achieve for you? think, if they stopped to think about how they cerned. I think very little. could really help the students they so badly pine How much would it all cost? Based on the Because whatever you do to draw attention to for. estimates for the hall of residence now being built the problem of student accommodation does not If you're ever lucky enough to get a look at the for the college — roughly three-quarters of a mil- alter the fact that there isn't enough accommoda- vaults of any bank in the City, you'll find the strong- lion pounds for a block accommodating 300 stu- tion to go round and that such accommodation as is rooms littered with gold bars. They're just laying dents — I estimate that a new hall capable of hous- available will get more and more expensive. ing three hundred students on GLC land would Just analyse the problem as it exists at Imperial cost one million pounds. For four blocks, four College, among four thousand students. million. Twelve hundred of you live in halls of residence. The accommodation would, of course, be Another thousand or more 'live either at home or rented, the rents to be collected and handled by the in apartments which might Just suit your pockets. Students' Union in much the same way as it now That leaves, say, fifteen hundred of you with a handles rented accommodation elsewhere in Lon- problem. don. This sort of arithmetic can be applied to any Thus far, then, we have an idea. The next ques- number of other universities and colleges through- tion is how to translate the idea into action. out the land, but let's concentrate on Imperial Col- And this is where we came in. lege just now. Imperial College students union would be well What would be the ideal answer to the dilemma I believe the National Union of Students and the of those fifteen hundred of you who have a struggle advised to apply pressure where it is most likely to to pay the rent and thereby to live in reasonable produce a reaction. comfort? Rent strikes? Demonstrations? Fine. But would It is simply to build more halls of residence — it not be more useful and much more positive to wouldn't you agree? twist the arm of those who really could do some- No, I am not out of my mind. I know it could be thing to ease the problem of student accommoda- done, and I know how it could be done. tion? What is required is the money to build them, and Wouldn't it be better, in fact, to put pressure.on the land to build them on. I know where both exist. the banks? And I have a very good idea how they can be For example, you remember the terrible trauma brought together for the purpose of creating three which gripped Barclays at the time their colonial or four purpose-built halls of residence for the stu- interests were the subject of student indignation dents of Imperial College. and thousands of students closed their accounts? A pipedream? Not at all. I say again, it can be Of course, it is not part of my interest to get into done. that kind of political argument, but it was a clear First, let's consider the land? illustration of the power students have and can There are, between Imperial College and London use. Airport, vast chunks of land owned by the Greater A concerted effort to persuade a bank to think London Council. Some of it has no kind of plan- along the lines I have sketched out might yield con- ning permission for any kind of development, some crete results. Even to get such an idea considered has permission for the building of homes and some would be a beginning, but I feel quite sure that a of it is designated for industrial purposes. unified campaign to promote it would make it diffi- Land which has planning permission for dwelling cult for the parties involved to resist. For my part, houses attached to it is the cheapest. But you can I am perfectly prepared to assist any group which get only 8 to 10 houses per acre and most of them felt strongly enough about the problem to try this will be two storeys high, thereby wasting enormous solution. possibilities for vertical development. One thing is sure. Nothing at all will be done Industrial land is infinitely more expensive, but unless you, the students, get up off your backsides in either case, the GLC holds the trump card. It and make it happen. has the land. So my advice is just this. Of course, the GLC is embarrassed by its failure to provide enough of the type of accommodation Strike —- by all means. But if you are going to that students need. But it is a great deal more em- strike — strike at the right target. Page 6 FELIX December 12, 1972 EG 1 WHY? Britain's New TEN YEARS AGO Distillers Company Limited National votes marketed the drug Thalidomide to expectant mothers. Over 400 children were born with terrible handicaps. DCL denies negligence. No newspaper can discuss that question, for fear of prosecution by DCL. The Anthem enormous power DCL has because of its wealth is an to effective deterrent. It does not occur to DCL that its (For Susan W., a brave and beautiful girl) enormous wealth would be better employed helping Thalidomide victims. They failed to sing "The Queen" one day In Britain's old traditional way; Last year DCL made a profit of £64 million. Their latest increased offer to the parents is a lump sum of Instead of Princes, Queens and Kings boycott £5 million — provided the parents sign away any rights The British thought of other things. against DCL in the future. The sum, when divided among all the children, gives each child about £200 They wrote an Anthem new and bold, for each year of its life. Outside the monarchistic mould; DCL can prevent us from discussing publically They set a plaintive human plea Distillers' whether or not it was negligent. But this much we can To music in a minor key. say. DCL marketed the drug. DCL is huge and rich. The company could easily afford £20 million from its profits, and that is all the parents are asking for. Then all the country rose to stand, Instead DCL has decided to fight the parents. It has Each one with empty glass in hand, products consistently made the smallest offer it thinks it can To sing the Anthem far and wide get away with. It has used threats. It has splashed As women wept and strong men cried. money around to subdue those people, few of them Tuesday's Extraordinary General Meeting voted wealthy, whose lives have already been blasted by the overwhelmingly to boycott all Distillers' Company Ltd. drug DCL marketed. Faced with human suffering, What British Anthem now was heard Which made the other less Preferred? (DCL) products in view of their attitude towards the DCL has reacted with writs. Faced with deformed children, it has reacted with attacks. It has fought —"God Save the Kids . . ." they sang and Thalidomide victims. and wriggled for ten years to avoid parting with one cried penny more of its enormous profits than it can possibly "Whose mothers took Thalidomide". The motion, put forward by Rob Armitage, Exter- help. © Nigel Racine-Jacques, 1972 nal Affairs Officer, in its original wording called for And what about the children? For ten years parents a boycott of all DCL spirits. DCL have a monopoly of have fought for the future of children without arms, whisky production — they make or market 95% of all without legs, with brain malformations, with a host of This is not easy. £64 million is an almost unassailable the whisky bought, including names such as Johnnie crippling deformities, and without hope. Those chil- profit margin, and on hearing about iNUS's boycott, Walker, Black and White, Dewar's, Haig, etc. — and dren are now reaching what may be the most difficult DCL's press office told reporters they had "absolutely have a large share of the rest of the spirits market. A period of their lives: their adolescence, when they will no comment" to make. One can see why. They own full list of their spirits appears elsewhere in this issue begin to grasp the full horror of what has been done to 80% of the whisky market for a start. It's not exactly of "Felix". them. a monopoly, but if you refuse to buy DCL's whisky They will reach it without sympathy from Distillers you may find yourself going without whisky in a great Beer boycotted also Distillers?" by Jeff Stani- Company Limited. many pubs. And it's not as though drink is DCL's An amendment from forth (NUS Treasurer), The worst may be to come. It has been suggested only interest. The list of the companies it owns occu- the floor, tabled by Oliver appears on page ?? of this that, with their parents to look after them, thalidomide pies two long columns in "Who Owns Whom". It has Dowson, Felix Editor, issue of "Felix". This arti- children will be all right on DCL's £200 a year. But its fingers in pretty well every pie or soft drink you called for the boycott to cle explains the reasons what happens when these children reach the age of are likely to buy. Its assets are enormous, its interests be extended to the beers for boycotting DCL _pro- 40—when their parents may 'be dead, or no longer extensive, its tentacles everywhere. The power of this produced by breweries in ducts. able to work to support them? enormous combine, both to do harm and to resist which DCL have interests, attack, is enormous. „ and was equally over- Delighted They will have no arms, no legs, and £200 a year— whelmingly passed. Ano- Rob Armitage, explain- if the money hasn't all gone by then. Over the next few months we must make sure we ther amendment called on ing to "Felix" that the What can we do? You could have a whip round find every single way in which we can hit DCL where the College to order other boycott would be a vol- now, and raise a little money to help them. But are it will hurt most. And the best time to start is now — products, such as liquid untary one, since the Col- those children to rely on charity all their lives—or when this soulless Leviathan is trying to make room in gas, that they buy at pre- lege would not ban DCL ought we to try and make DCL dip into its huge its vaults for the traditional bonanza it makes out sent from DCL compan- spirits from the bars, said profits for them? of Christmas the season of good will. ies, from other sources. that he was "delighted" But what can we do to force DCL? Spirits sell in enormous quantities at Christmas time. that the motion had been If the pharmaceutical industry were owned by the College obduracy We have a very few weeks in which to out as far as passed. "I had completely state, and responsible to the people, the violence of John Lane, Union Pre- possible into the huge profits that Distillers are going misjudged the mood of public reaction would ensure a little humanity. But sident, explained that it to make the meeting" he said, and DCL is responsible to no one but itself. was going to be more than went on to say that he A huge, rich, powerful combine can get away with difficult to persuade the would have gone further SO anything — even pinching pennies from deformed College to implement this, had he realised how easily children to swell its already massive profits. and told the meeting of the motion got through. BE CAREFUL WHAT SPDUTS YOU BUY the reception Rob Armi- But if enough people act together, we can achieve FOR CHRISTMAS. tage's proposal of a Col- Most other college something. In Germany, after eight years of legal wrig- lege boycott of DCL Unions throughout Bri- gling, the company which marketed Thalidomide there DO NOT BUY any of these brands of whisky: spirits had got at a recent tain have passed similar agreed to pay its total profits for ten years into a trust Refectory Committee boycott motions, and, in fund for Thalidomide victims. So far, Distillers' best VAT 69; Johnny Walker; King George TV; Old meeting. The College is many places where the offer is about 8% of its profits for one year. Scotch; White Horse; Black and White; Dewars. apparently loath to do bars are controlled by the The usefulness of appealing to DCL's better feelings anything that might upset Union, DCL products seems remote, and that is why the NUS Conference has DCL, since they run scho- have been completely given its support to a boycott of all DCL products. The DO NOT BUY any of these brands of Gin: larships and give other banned". Here they are only way we can help the parents of these children to Gordons; Booths; High and Dry London; Tanqueray. aid to the college. likely to be marked with get a settlement which will be acceptable to them is A shortened version of a red star to make them to show DCL that we can make a real dent in its sacred AND DO NOT BUY an article, "Why Boycott easily distinguishable." « - profits. Cossack Vodka; Pimms No. 1. December 12, 1972 FELIX Page 7 Editorial EGM l.C. Gounci It's reassuring to have a President again. One could feel the tension amongst the Union Exec relax almost instantly the news of the ratification came in. But relax is the one thing we can't do. Confirms votes to Imperial College Union has lost a lot of ground and a lot of credibility in the last term. This has mainly been because it has been disorganised: at least, it has seemed so to the casual onlooker. The set-up of the bureaucratic background has been impeccable: it has Lane as withdraw been so good it has been invisible, which is really just the way it should be. But since all we've had is the bureaucracy, the whole union activities have been just as invisible to the mass membership. Now we have a President perhaps we can get down to President from SUK some ACTION. The active side of the Union, the side that the membership and the general public notice, is its John Lane was once again ratified as President of political side. The clubs and societies fall into the Imperial College Union by Tuesday's Extraordinary bureaucratic sector — they just go on and on and on General Meeting. The meeting, convened as a result as long as the money's there. They might well be Rag of the fiasco of the previous Thursday's Union Gene- Union activities — but the membership couldn't care ral Meeting, reported in "Felix" last week, overwhelm- less who runs them as long as they're there. ingly voted to accept Council's recommendation that Imperial College Union Council voted to discontinue The Sovereign body of the Union is the Union Gene- Mr. Lane be confirmed in his post. Council had at its participation in USK Rag next year. The Rag ral Meeting — the meeting of all its members, or a Chairman will once again become the Carniva* Co- representative sample of them — a meeting of all of their meeting the previous day voted to refer the motion YOU. That's where the action must be seen to happen. back to the EGM with this recommendation. ordinator, and IC Carnival will be ressurected. Tuesday's EGM proved that students here are in- The only question raised of the Union voiced their The main problems with USK Rag has been the terested in politics. Not necessarily the revolutionary was whether the College , , t , lack of participation by other colleges. The City and politics the public expects of us (only 15 people at the ° disapproval ot making would agree to accept the Guild's Carnival Ball was cited as an example — 95 last SocSoc meeting) but politics generally. It doesn't ratification: Martin Black, thesc changes after the per cent of those attending came from I.C. Council matter how conservative and reactionary our politics Union Secretary, said it nt, both at the Council concluded that if I.C. were responsible for all the acti- are (and I hope some conservative ad reactionary poli- eve was very unlikely that they cies are passed by UGM's in the coming months, for meeting and lhe EGM vity, it may as well be the I.C. Rag. Apparently USK would not. Readers will that is the general political feeling of ICU) as long as , ,, , , , Paul Hosking, Rag Chair- remember that John ° ° Rag has not been a financial success either. we have some. For it is politics that makes UGM's, and, Lane was elected on man, said that it was a Rag Chairman Paul Hosking revealed the accounts being really the only debating forum that exists in Im- a poll of only sharp practice, and that perial College since the sad demise of DebSoc, political to an expectant audience. Income this term has been 928 votes, 30 short of the having created a prece- UGM's should be encouraged. £1,968.18, of which £1.669.54 came from street collec- prescribed "quorum" of 25 deRt> this cou!d be done at UGM's are not for the reading of long executive per cent of the electorate , . ... tions. Expenditure came to a paltry £55.62. any election, and indeed reports. These should be printed in "Felix" for every- (1,012). To elect him, it one to read. UGM's are for the discussion of matters was necessary to alter th,, e other change s could al- that are important to students, and for the formulating schedule to the Constitu- waY« ™w t* made after of Union policy . . ; a policy that is representative tion which specifies this the event. Paul Jowitt, Council News of the Union's views — your views. "quorum". Since it was Deputy President, pointed Now we have a President — a political President — only a schedule to the con- v x ... out that this was an un- .m perhaps we can move rapidly towards this kind of stitution and not part of the usual UGM. I certainly hope so. Constitution itself, ex- circumstance, since in plained Martin Black, it this had been only the Twitching Whiskers was only necessary to have third presidential election
a two-thirds majority at a ^ ^ A meeting is to be or- refcct0ries and standards While we're on the subject of politics, you will prob- year and he tfae ably notice that, with this issue, not only has Felix single Union meeting; con- ganised to allow students of food, ...... Union as a whole were been twitching his whiskers rather more than usual, but to question Mr. Mooney The Right Honourable stitutional changes require has become decidedly political in one way or another. in person, and to put their the Viscount Gough has the same majority at two gettin§ sick of the wholc I hope this show of sudden virility in a 23-year-old tabby complaints to him about become a life member of cat does not alarm you: it was not deliberate, but just consecutive UGM's. business and wanted a Several leading members President now. _ Imperial College Union. happened. For many weeks now the Letters page of "Felix" The Ents Committee is has been unprecedentedly full. It would seem that, £1,250 in the black. This even compared to other weeklies Felix has a more ac- Two Good is a result of booking big- tive Letters page than other student newspapers. Let's name groups this year, a keep it that way. I only apologise for having to print be classed as the most rep- policy which has reaped them in such miniature type. resentative decision the rich rewards. All profits SRC has taken this term. are to be ploughed back And now it is truly heartening to see contributions The second Good Thing into Ents next year. in the form of articles also flooding in. There's some Things was the reaction of the pretty controversial stuff, by Felix standards, in this SRC to the article in the Last Monday (December attend should be given full latest edition of "Sennet". issue, and I hope there'll be some reaction. 4th) there was yet another voting and speaking rights. This points out that the Coming just at the right time, with the subject of Students' Representative This meeting will take the Council is not at present representative, in that POST-GRADUATE Rent Strikes being regularly mooted, is our "Felix Fi- Council meeting at which form of a discussion on members are rarely elected nancially" feature on student housing. Derek Cum- two useful events took the Murray Report, and it by their Unions, but are wanted for often appointed instead. mings' solution to this cardinal problem has certainly place. Firstly, a motion is hoped that it will help Part-time Teaching the SRC to formulate pol- Once this had been demon- never been raised or even suggested before. It bears was proposed to the effect strated to the delegates of O-level Maths. icy on the Report. In spite careful consideration. It's all very well to demand that that there should be an they appeared quite will- 1 morning per week. the Government pays for all new halls . . . but will we SRC Murray Open Meet- of an amendment which ing to consider Constitu- tional Amendments, which Good hourly rate. ever get any that way? We need somewhere to live, who- ing held next term, to argued that non-SRC stu- dents' present should not will be presented formally ever pays for it SOON. We want your reactions to the which every student in the at the next statutory meet- Ring: be given voting rights, the scheme: do write and tell us what you think — NOW, University should be in- ing, to be held at Chelsea Ian Mackenzie, Int. 3887 original motion was even- College on 17th February. while it's in your mind. vited, and at which all who tually passed. This could Page 8 FELIX December 12, 1972 ANOTHER LETTER On Sir,—Once again Dowson tive to work out the details. hits the nail right on the Thus conference called for a Campaigns thumb! Firstly John Lane is rent strike to keep down Hall not the first political presi- fees, it is now the Execu- dent that ICU has had for tive's job to ensure that no I0HN LANE several years; of the three student suffers for imple- elected presidents up till menting this. this year. Piers Corbyn, which Will deal with the Grants Campaign Judith Walker and John Mc- Mr. McBeath is correct to Brand new, out-this-very-week, came the Tory White Culough, only the last was say that there is a lack of Paper on education policy "Divide and Rule — Part level of rents next year. NUS Conference laun- non-political. Piers needing interest in NUS amongst a 4". You will be hearing lots more about this but the Our policy should be ched a national grants no comment, and Judith large section of students — quite clear. It should not campaign with its main having been elected on a and this article seems de- first point we have to note is that the increase in, Soc.Soc. platform. And in- liberately designed to rein- be the responsibility of points being a £65 in- cidentally John Lane is a force this lack of ipterest! nursery education (welcome but still inadequate) will be today's students to build crease, an end to dis- Of course NUS hasn't got Statistics postgraduate, one at the expense of further restrictions on higher educa- halls or refectories for crimination against mar- would have thought that a the economic power that future students. This is the ried women and to discret- full-time editor could get Trades Unions have, howevertio n spending, in addition to those already operating. facts like that correct. we must be prepared to use responsibility Of society ionary awards, no rent in- what little we have, for ex- The College authorities will, of course, make gentle- as a whole and the money creases and no refectory To go over to McBeath's ample in the form of rent manly protests to the government and then will pro- should come from the rich price increases. Several (sic) article on NUS confer- strikes which put pressure on College Authorities and, and the big monopolies, meetings in ithe next few ence, it should thirdly be ceed to work within the (limits set. Student representa- who instead are getting weeks will thrash out a noted that there is not a through them, on the Gov- majority of Communist ernment. It must be remem-tives on committees will be pressurised into accepting tax cuts (by the way, Dis- plan of campaign for next bered that we are not stud- Party members on NUS exec- these limits "in the interests of future generations of tillers' Co. Ltd. Of thalido- term. But, meanwhile, ents for our own good, we mide fame made "only" NUS regards the main utive, there are exactly 3 out are students primarily be- students" and asked to agree to rent rises, food price of 15. cause Industry needs highly- £64,000,000 last year). spring board for its cam- More importantly the trained people; and this too increases, etc., instead of fighting them. The result We must take no re- paign as the rent strikes author betrays a vast ignor-gives us some strengths. would be confusion in the union, no fights against the sponsibility for doing the already taking place all ance of the role NUS does While we are students learn- over the country where play amongst students, as ing skills which industry will Government cut-backs and the way left open to fur- dirty . work for the Tory well as the role that the CP. later use to make large prof- party and its industrial rents have increased or plays in NUS. To say that its for shareholders, we ther attacks. backers. We must state the amount allowed for in CP. policies are adopted at should and must demand the grant, and which are NUS conferences because of grants that give us a decent A concrete example is clearly that we will not accept any rent rises with- spreading rapidly even in- clashes between a 'Commun-standard of living, and only arising in this Union. Two 9 to London where hall ist' Executive (already com- by combining our strengths years ago I.C. Union, out out a corresponding grant mented on) and extreme left into one body can we hope to increase. rents are sometimes lower. groups on the floor, is ludi- win these rights — and thato f the goodness of its President's For example, LSE go on crous and a slur on the dele- body must be NUS. If the heart, agreed to a levy of rent strike next term. gates who belong to neither action of students up and 35p on top of the hall Hall Cleaners of these groups (i.e. the down the country led by majority; IC's delegation NUS did not force the with- Rumours have been rife The first UGM of next consisted of one ultra-left drawal of the DES Green that the college want to term (Thursday 18th Jan- and five others, and doubt- Paper on Union Autonomy, proposals (temporarily) with- reduce the number of uary) will discuss our less other delegations were perhaps Mr. McBeath could drawn. cleaners in halls. I have much the same), the reason inform us what did. Certain- Finally McBeath's com- tactics for the grants cam- why CP. policies are fre- ly Thatcher didn't withdraw parison of NUS with Parlia- ascertained that the Stu- paign including rent strike quently adopted is that they it out of the goodness of her ment betrays an incredible rents, to pay for now halls, dent Hall Committee in- refectory boycotts, demos, reflecj. the needs of the stud-heart! It was student action naivety. Does he believe because rents were com- cluding the wardens know etc. ent body as a whole. which forced her, and it MPs really vote on 'con- paratively low. Since then nothing of this. It is up shows what can be done on science' grounds? If so, to us and the cleaners' In the meanwhile would McBeath goes on to say other issues if we try — and would he like to analyse the students' standards of liv- a,M students in hall please that the conference showed try we must! thalidomide debate, or the ing have fallen drasti- union, NUPE (National lack of consideration for the continued Tory support for Union Of Public Employ- wait until after the UGM cally owing to inflation before paying the hall 600,000 students NUS repre- the bestial war in Vietnam? and it is common for stu- ees) to nip this in the bud. sents. Again this is rubbish, This particular issue dem- And when he talks about the This would be yet another bills. I will ensure that all if NUS were not considering onstrates another aspect of "selection process that elim-dents to spend two years students in hall or house ali students then there wouldthe power of students —- and inates radical elements auto- in bed-sits at £5-£6 a week attack on students' living be no campaigns at all on that is their ability to win matically", one can only standards and would we get details of how rent rents (or even higher), strike could operate at grants,: housing, Union aut-support in specific cam- assume from this that he which more than compen- get a rent reduction to onomy, etc., instead the paigns. The NUS mobilisa- means left-wing (of any compensate? Not on your the start of next term be- standard of living of all stu- tion last year was able to shade) and excludes the sates for one year in Hall fore any decision is taken. dents would be allowed to gain support from sections asultra-rightists of the Monday at a lower rent. life, it would go towards plummet, and Thatcher diverse as Vice Chancellors, Club, etc. To condemn NUS letting the government off Hope you all have a fine would be able to run rough- the Parliamentary Labour for being more democratic The College would like us this time to increase the the hook on paying for Christmas and New Year, shod over the constituent Party and the National Union than Parliament is a weird new halls. Unions, without any opposi- of Mineworkers (the possibi- argument indeed. levy. As well as this, when but don't get drunk on tion. That would be true lack lity of further Trade Union This is a clear-cut ex- Distillers' stuff and have a On behalf of IC Commun- the Northside Hall is fini- of consideration. Here it support is potentially the shed, they will wanit an in- ample of how we can thought for all those poor must be remembered that most valuable and reliable by is: Party Branch, Scots fellow-students of Conference lays down the far). The key point is that crease in all rents to help work with trade unions to broad outline for action by through united national ac- Yours hopefully, pay for it. A sub-com- defend each others' in- mine goinWi-ouchur dram NUS, it is up to the Execu- tion, NUS got the Thatcher PAUL WAT KINS. mittee is being set up terests. on Hogmanay!
CHARLIE CHflPUIl vSxs greater MARTINS BIT Martin's Bit this week was to have reviewed the term you're filling yourself With festive alcohol. I realise that from my point of view. But it hasn't really been a it's only a gesture but if enough people use Glen- momentous term and will probably be remembered fiddich (check spelling Oily please) rather than Haig, chiefly as "the term of the elections". Now we have a D.C.L. might notice (It's a much nicer whisky anyway). President and although his politics may not quite co- incide with mine as a male chauvinist fascist pig I'm sure that the Union as an entity will achieve some- thing this year — but I'm not sure what. on ®nton Jleetmgg Many thanks for the idea of printing UGM minutes eagonal <§xntiu0 in Felix. Provided our beloved sabbatical editor (I'm glad someone loves me—Ed) can find the space (well Even though I don't actually support the event per- . . . you might twist my arm—Ed) I will gladly do so. sonally (you know what I mean, my boy) I'd like to I'll also print the motions provided people supply them wish all my readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy in good time (IT! certainly print those—Ed). (and of course prosperous) New Year. Naturally I don't give presents but if anybody feels that it would spoil their Christmas if they were not to give me one 1 will force myself to accept it (A Ghost on Vacations; writer for Martin's Bit would be very useful). PRULETTE GQBDRR0 I will not be taking much of a vacation (ajl to- 1 suppose;—as a sop to the pseudo-politicians of the gether now, ahhh!) but I hope that you all enjoy JACK DRKIE yours; please don't disrupt the post too much. Written, Directed and Produced NUS—that I should convince you that we must force by Charles Chaplin the Tories to resign, so here goes: I am looking forward to the birthday party on 3rd Distributed by Black Ink Films Ltd. January when the Union Bar is fifteen (only a few months younger than me). I look forward to seeing you Wt must force ltj> Covits; to resign there. Classic BAKER STREET With Seasonal Goodwill, I remain (despite motions of censure) Classic HAMPSTEAB Having done that, and returning ito a serious note, please think about the Distillers' Company Limited's EE attitude to the Thalidomide children, especially when fflaxtin C. Placfe December 12, 1972 FELIX Page,9 CEFE says "Not a penny Christmas Fast more on the rents, not f ot* World Justice 9 supported by World Development Movement, Third a hall-worker less' World First, Oxfam, War on Want, etc. This is a Nationwide Protest against the shameful There is an important issue fast approaching the any way happy. The only offered for replacements. gulf that divides the "rich world" and "poor world". Union of this college and yet Mr. Seaford, the Domes- In a type of work with a reason that workers and Whether you guzzle or fasts fall between Decem- tic Bursar, insists that the students and workers, whom fairly rapid turnover of students might accept this glorify or both at Christ- ber 21 and December 25 is could drastically affect, must not discuss it. Despite is that there is no other labour this would allow mas, it seems an appro- with a 24-hour minimum his attitude many of the students in hall have heard alternative. The " College the authorities to reduce priate time to bring home fasting period. During rumours about the hall fees being raised, and the authorities are now ac- the staff just as they like.- the urgency of the prob- this time tasters will be cleaners have heard rumours of sackings. This is the tively trying to put the We must fight to get the lem of world poverty and leafleting, questionnairing way the College authorities would like it at the situation to students as a authorities to keep the point out that it can be and publicising through moment, with these rumours spreading and without straight choice. same overall number of tackled. the media of street anyone stepping back and taking an overall view. So jobs. what better place tHan the "Opinion" column in theatres, workshops and No one really wants "Felix" to start some clear discussion on the matter. Is there any alternative? It is absolutely essen- films with the aim of tial that this is discussed another person to starve generating widespread in- There is. This involves by students and workers but most people seem to terest and sympathy to What is the problem? both students and work- now so that all the alter- believe that with the our point of view. ers identifying who are natives can be looked at. amount of help Britain At the moment the Col- Fasts aren't new, but going to be worse off This will avoid the situ- gives, the poor nations lege authorities want to this is the first time that after this and who would ation which Mr. Seaford should now be able to keep the same level of the determination, enthus- gain. Then to form a would seem to like, when find their own solutions. surplus from hall fees; iasm and concern which strong worker-student al- he could bring a fait ac- However, most develop- this is being used to keep exists over this issue in liance so that students compli, a simple choice, ment economists realize a profit to finance the many people throughout and workers fight on the higher hall fees or less that the trade and in- building of new halls. the country will have been same side. workers. vestment policies of the There are two ways open gathered up in a con- rich countries and big to them to do this, as and workers at odds over certed demonstration of Then we would fight Students and workers companies exploit the they look at it; these are this issue, each suggest- commitment and as such from a position of must not be forced to poor; that what we take to raise hall fees or to ing that the alternative should make a significant strength with no internal take any responsibility away in profits and cut costs. The problem which affects the others impact. There has already divisions. Fight to keep for the running of the un- power from the Third arises when we see that worst is the one the au- been some press coverage hall fees the same. Fight iversity under the present World outweighs what- the students do not want thorities should adopt. and there will be lots to keep all the jobs there capitalist system. It is ever real value our aid hall fees to go up and The college authorities more. are at present. Fight to neither the students nor has: and that the poor the workers do not want would then step in and get the Department of the workers who are going stay poor because they Your support is needed. to lose their jobs as part suggest that both "sides" Education and Science to benefit from it. The cannot force concessions Sponsorship forms can be of the cost cutting. should compromise. They (through the University large monopolies and im- as they have no power. obtained for those who would like to see a few Grants Committee) to pay portant industries who do This fast is a step to- wish to raise money by less workers and only a for all future hall build- benefit is where the What is happening now? wards creating the neces- being sponsored for any small rise in the fees. ing. money must come from. sary understanding and Third World develop- The rumours are They would then claim We must decide now to determination to make ment organisation that spreading, and both that all were happy be- stop any action that is We must at no time be the injustice of world you choose. For the spon- groups of people directly cause a "reasonable solu- going to be detrimental put off by a statement poverty a live public is- sorship forms and en- affected by this are dis- tion" had been arrived to either workers or stu- from college authorities sue. rolment cards contact cussing ways in which at. But in that case some that "there would be no dents. This present Mary Washington or Pet- they can minimise the workers would have lost redundancies". They still scheme would be detri- Fasts are being held in er O'Kane, both of Physics mental to both. So we effects to themselves. jobs and students would have a system of natural 28 different places 3, who will gladly supply must act as soon as pos- The college authorities be paying more. It would wastage where the jobs throughout Britain and further information and sible to stop its imple- would like nothing better be only the college au- of all cleaners who leave, in London alone there details of places and con- mentation. than to see the students thorities that would be in for any reason, are not will be five centres. Most tacts in your area.
these valleys are the Continued from page 10 mingle with the gay throng, and see what snow - capped peaks adventure. I expected him to be trotting on occurs." In the land stretching up to 22,000 ahead not disappearing in the rear. So down the side of the dune went Fero- feet, as spectacular as "Oh, dear,. I do hope he's all right," said cious Din and the Tiny Twigworm. They the Twigworm, "I mean you've both been wandered amongst the tents and sideshows, high mountains always so good to me and everything. This is all jostled by the crowds, pulled here and there of the Incas are. my fault really, oh, I am sorry, I don't know by stallholders, all their senses assaulted at what to say . . ." He began to cry. once. Unfortunately they had only 10p be- It is against this back- "Let's not start that again," pleaded tween them so they were unable to go on TONIGHT — An ac- 12,000 feet, and then on ground that the account Ferocious, "It's not your jolly old fault, it's any of the weird and exciting looking rides count of the IC moun- the west the ground of the expedition is set; just typical Phosphorous. He cannot keep and sideshows. taineering expedition to slopes away massively the journey across Peru, his mind on one thing for more than ten "With 10p we can have one go each the living in La Paz, a minutes at a stretch. The dear boy will no on one thing," said Ferocious, "what's it the Andes in Bolivia, proportioned, heavily doubt re-emerge in the near future. I sug- going to be?" given by the leader of wooded valleys to the dust bowl scooped out gest we—ah—press on, so to speak, and "Oh, I couldn't possibly say," said the the expedition Paul Bunt- Amazon basin. It is on of the altiplano, waiting hope for the best." Twigworm, "you decide for me." ing. the altiplano that the for equipment Jo arrive, "Well, if you think it's all right," said "A difficult choice, so to speak," spoke the journey across the the Twigworm, "he is your friend, I sup- Ferocious, "I think the best solution is for Inca and pre-Inca cultures pose." me to spin round with my eyes shut, and Last year several mem- flourished; on Lake Ti- plain, up through the "We all have our crosses to bear," said then open them very suddenly. The attrac- bers of the college moun- tiana, the large inland high valleys, and then, Ferocious, and they trudged on along the tion which first catches my eye will be the taineering club were in- lake on the plain, reed using llamas jand local beach. They had not gone very far, when one on which we will blow our tiny wealth." terested in organising an porters, to base camp. the sound of music and laughter could be The Twigworm did not seem to object, so- boats of the Ra 2 type heard, coming down the wind. Ferocious shut his eyes and spun round on expedition. The area de- are still used by the There was then a period of climbing, an accident "As a change from this endless beach," one leg. He fell immediately to the ground. cided upon was the COR- Indians for fishing, and said Ferocious, "I suggest we head for As he opened his eyes to examine his DILLERA REAL, a it is here that the Indian in which two of the party these sounds of revelry." Reaching the top injuries, he found he had come to rest at spectacular mountain women all wear bowler were killed, and our res- of a large dune they could see the source the foot of a large sign. range, forming part of hats. In the valleys of the cue attempt, and finally of the noise. Spread out beneath them was "CREATURE FROM BEYOND MARS the return, bringing us a huge fair. DEFIES GRAVITY" it read, "Doctor Rab- the Andean chain in N.E. mountains Indians also Gaily coloured tents covered an area the bit's amazing Invention defeats Laws of Bolivia. live at altitudes up to eventually back to Lon- size of Hyde Park, strange machines Nature. See Space Being float on air. He don. The situation of this 16,000 feet; they have to whirled merry-makers up, down, round and lives, he breathes. See him today—only 5p adapt specially to the through. Mechanical music filled the air, a look." range is very interesting The,lecture, which will lights throbbed, whistles shrieked, men "Not perhaps my first choice," said Fer- . as they form part of the lack of oxygen and the shouted. It was very noisy indeed. ocious, "but in we go." They paid their 5p intense cold at night. This be fully illustrated with boundary between the slides, is tonight (Tues- "Hum," said Ferocious. each to the little old man on the door and . ALTIPLANO on the is the region of the llama "Oooooh!" said the Twigworm. stepped inside the tent. and the condor. Beyond day) at 7.30 in Room "That looks quite adventurous, does Jt "Hello Ferocious, Hello Twigworm," said east, a high plain of over 303, RSM. not, dear lad?" said Ferocious, "let us Phosphorous the Jobrot. December 12, 1972 Page 10 FELIX
vas was everywhere, and there was a great MacPlumbing led him towards the mach- deal of mud under foot. ine. Phosphorous tin* Jobrot Taking up most of the space in the tent "Stand between these terminals, laddie," was a large and complicated piece of mach- he urged, "and I'll turn up the field." inery. It was mostly constructed of polished Phosphorous stood where he was shown brass tubing, with great megaphone-like pro- and old Haggis disappeared round the back and tuberances. It hummed quietly, and an occa- of the Device. The hum of the machine rose, sional blue spark would jump, with a crack and Phosphorous felt a strange tickling sen- between the polished domes which sur- sation in the soles of his feet. He looked Ferocious Hin mounted the Device. A little old man down. He was floating about ten feet .off crouched at the back of the machine, squirt- the floor of the tent. ing oil onto a silently spinning wheel. He "Oooooh!" he said. looked up, wiped his hands on a piece of "Och, lovely," cackled the old man, "It's Part three of a nine-part oily rag, and came across to where Dino, going like a dream, laddie, the new main Phosphorous and Whiskers were standing. sensors are running something beautiful." serialisation of the book by "Good day to ye," he said, "I'm Haggis Phosphorous was still too stunned to say MacPlumbing, the engineer here—is this the anything. He drew a couple of deep Steven Swaiies new laddie?" breaths, and thought hard of dentists—a "Yeah, he's all yours," said Dino, "We technique he had used often in the past to gotta be going now," he turned to Phos- take his mind off things. phorous, "You behave yourself, kid and Slowly he looked about, and took stock CHAPTER THREE raising his hands above his head, he set you'll be O.K." He and the little Stoat of the situation. He began to experiment. The Twigworm stood over 12 feet tall— off in the direction indicated by Dino's point- opened the trap door in the floor, and with Although he could go neither up nor dowrT, even sitting down—and still looked like a ing gun. They had not gone very far before a last wave to Phosphorous disappeared out he found he could move from side to side pile of old tractor tyres. He had black Dino let out a shout. of sight. by waving his arms and legs. wrinkled skin, draped about his misshapen "O.K. kid, stop right there." Phosphorous "Thank goodness they've gone," said "Dinna do that, ye daft sporran," shouted body like an ill-fitting overcoat. His eyes stopped right there. They had come to a Haggis, "I dinna rate that Dino laddie at MacPlumbing, "Ye'll get outside the field were the size of soup plates, from which halt by one of the larger palm trees. Dino all. Have ye had any experience of this kind and break a leg." Phosphorous stopped poured a waterfall of tears down through the reached forward and knocked three times o' thing?" wriggling. Just floating was not an un- great creases in his skin, forming a muddy on the trunk. Nothing happened. "What kind of thing?" asked Phosphor- pleasant sensation, rather like being im- pool, in which he sat, sobbing sonorously. "Drat!" said Dino. He knocked again. ous. mersed in thick spongy mud—not that "Don't tell me," said Ferocious, "you, Still nothing happened. "Whadda these guys "Why floating, laddie," replied the old Phosphorous had ever been immersed in huge sir, are the Tiny Twigworm." think they're playing at?" he demanded. engineer. thick, spongy mud. As the Jobrot was be- He leant his face close to the tree and "Only in the bath, I suppose,' 'said Phos- ginning to relax and enjoy himself, he saw "Yes," cried the Twigworm, "and no- Haggis MacPlumbing making for the door. body loves me, and nobody wants me, and shouted, "Open this dor, you dimbo. It's phorous. t'm lost and homeless, and . . . boo hoo me Dino Confetti, I gotta important guest "Och, ye'll take to it in nae time, dinna "Hey, where are you going," he shouted. hoo." He sobbed quietly, the ground trem- for Luigi. ye worry. In ye get". "Just popping out for a while," answered bling slightly at each sob. "Yeah?" said the tree, unbelievingly, "Look" protested Phosphorous, "nobody the old engineer, craftily, "I'll be back in no Phosphorous was genuinely moved. "How do I know you're not an encyclopedia will listen to me. I can't get in your rotten time at all." And he was gone. Phosphorous "Please stop crying," he pleaded, "Fero- salesman?" Dino turned slowly purple. machine—I have to go and look for my was a trusting sort of person, but he had a cious and I are here to help you. We'll find "You dumb tree!" he shouted, "do I friend Ferocious Din and the Tiny Twig- distinct feeling that he was being duped. your Twigwormery and take you home." sound like an encyclopedia salesman? You worm. I just don't have the time." The old On the beach Ferocious had finally "Speak for yourself, dear boy," muttered open this door immediately, or I'll have you man was obviously moved. noticed his friend's absence. Ferocious under his breath. But the Twig- pruned, you mouldy old plant." "I appreciate your position," he said, "but "Where has that dozy twit got to?" he worm had not heard him. "Dino," said the tree, "you have just it's more than ma job's worth tae let ye go. demanded. "Thank you, thank you," he shouted, identified yourself. Do come in." Look, just get in the machine for a wee "Well, you were going rather fast," sug- sniffing violently, and causing a small sand- As the arborial tones died away, a sec- while and I'll have a word wie that weird gested the Twigworm," perhaps he just got storm. "You are true friends!" He leapt for- tion of the trunk swung inwards to reveal rabbit, and see what I can do." Phosphor- left behind." ward to embrace Phosphorous. Luckily the an iron gate. ous was getting tired of arguing. "Possibly, dear old hugeness," mused nimble Jobrot jumped aside, just in time to "Call the lift!" ordered Dino. "Alright," he said, "but just for a little Din, "but I surmise unlikely. The lad was, avoid being crushed to death. "O.K." said Whiskers, "LIFT!" he shout- while." shall we say, fired with enthusiasm for this ed, "here lift, nice lift, come to Whiskers." "Hold it," shouted Ferocious, "As you are Conf. p. 9. our Adventure, so to speak, dear vast old Dino's huge fists clenched spasmodically. person, we will try to get you back to your "Push the button you hairy hedge-creat- home. However," he held up his hand to ure, do I have to do everything myself?" stop the Twigworm, who was about to clasp "Sorry, Dino," apologised Whiskers, and him in its arms, "there will be the minimum pushed the button. There was a faint hum- of bodily contact. Do not even try to shake ming deep within the roots of the tree, and my hand, O.K.?" with a slight clatter the lift arrived. The "Oh, certainly," said the Twigworm, "I'll three of them squeezed in and the lift began try and remember, but I'm afraid I'm rather to drop. With it dropped Phosphorous' clumsy. Down at the Permanent Adventure spirits. He was becoming distinctly worried. Reception Centre I did break rather a lot of "Where was he going? Where were Feroci- things." ous and the Twigworm? Who was Luigi "Well, there's not much you can break Rabbit? Don't miss next week's exciting double album is 'Sylvia' which surpris- instalment," he thought; missing next Focus, along with the Mahavishnu . out here," said Ferocious, "except Phosphor- Orchestra are for me the most exciting ingly enough doesn't open the album. It ous and me. Just avoid treading on us and week's exciting instalment was fairly high everything will be all right. on his list of priorities. and original band to emerge this year is common practice to open an album So Phosphorous and Ferocious stood clear As he worried and pondered, the lift from a stale and unimaginative rock with the most striking track on it. (Re- while the Twigworm got to his feet, and the came to rest. scene. It is not surprising that they are member 'Moving Waves'). 'Sylvia' be- three of them set off along the beach. Fero- "Out you get, kid," said Dino. Ahead of from outside the established Anglo- gins with a heavy repetitive chord se- cious went first, striding along, Phosphorous Phosphorous lay a long curving tunnel, lit trotted behind him, and the Twigworm by candles, and smelling of damp earth. American dominated rock culture. For quence which then makes way for some stumbled along on its great rubbery legs in The trio began to walk along the tunnel. the uninitiated, Focus are a four-piece very melodic guitar creating a mood of the rear. Every now and again a side tunnel branched from Amsterdam formed in '69 by floating serenity that is a key to much of Time passed, and Phosphorous, who had off, but they kept to the main passage. Thijs Van Leer, their organist and flaut- their work. There is peace and tranquil- stopped to examine an interesting shell, Phosphorous felt that they had been walk- dropped behind. He was just starting to run ing for an age, when they rounded a cor- ist. All come from a good musical back- lity too in 'Carnival Fugue', Van Leer's to catch up, when two strange figures step- ner and were confronted with a set of huge ground, Van Leer having taken up showpiece which finishes off side one. ped out from behind a palm tree and accos- wooden doors. On a brass plate, in the music at the tender age of three and This starts as a Bach-style fugue with ted him. middle of one door, was written "L. Rabbit having been awarded a degree on flute Van Leer on piano and develops a 'Hey, sonny," said the first, "You wanna —Boss." Latin-American flavour, Van Leer play- earn a cool buck?" "Here we are, kid," whispered Dino, at Geneva Conservatoire. Jan Akkerman "I beg your pardon," said Phosphorous, "now you act real respectful to Luigi and studied guitar at Amsterdam Music ing piccolo and organ. Side Two is de- staring in amazement at the creatures in you'll be O.K." He raised a fist and knocked Lyceum for five years and Pierre Van voted to 'Focus III' and 'Answers? front of him. The larger of the two wore a politely on the door. Der Linden was taught for seven years Questions! Questions? Answers!' The belted trench coat, had a huge broken nose, "Enter," came a muffled voice from inside. latter features some imaginative guitar and a scar on his cheek. A tiny moustache The doors swung open and Phosphorous by various top orchestral percussionists. decorated his upper lip. His companion was walked in. Bert Ruiter is the only member of the from Akkerman. even shorter than Phosphorous, and appar- "Oh, hello, how are YOU?" asked Luigi band that has not received classical 'Anonymous II' takes up the whole of ently covered in short brown fur all over— Rabbit. training. Side Three and spills over into Side or at least on the bits that protruded from Luigi was not tall, even for a rabbit, and his tiny trench coat. He wore a huge trilby wore a beautiful scarlet smoking jacket. The only regret I have about their Four. This track is the best on the from beneath which stuck out a pointed From between his two enormous front teeth third album is that it is not a live re- album. It features an excellent bass solo nose, and a magnificent set of bristling protruded an ivory cigarette-holder from cording. Having had the pleasure of see- and more superb lead. The album finish- whiskers. which a tiny menthol cigarette was pro- ing Focus four times I think that a lot es with 'Elspeth of Nottingham' which 'Don't play funny with me> kid," said the ducing delicate puffs of blue smoke. gives Jan a chance to play some Eliza- first one, "This here is the undeniably nasty "Do come in, dearie," he smiled, "so of their excitement is lost on a studio Joe (Whiskers) Stoat, and I have the hon- you're the lad that's going to work my album. Still, perhaps the next one will bethan lute music and 'House of the our to be the much-hated Dino (Washing- divine Incredible Floating Device." be live. King', a favourite from the first album. machine) Confetti. So there." "Well, actually—no," said Phosphorous The most commercial track on the This is rock at its best. "Yeah, man," said Whiskers. bravely, "you see I'm on an adventure, with "What do you want?" asked Pohophor- my friend Ferocious Din, so I don't really ous, a little shakily. have the time." "Don't crowd me none, kid," said Dino, "Oh, tut, tut," squeaked the Rabbit, "me and Whiskers got a proposition for "there's no question of that, dear, you're you. We works for Luigi Rabbit, maybe you working for me now and no mistake. You heard of him, and he needs a bright lad wouldn't like me to hand you over to Dino, tike you for his Incredible Floating Device. would you? He's awfully rough when he's CONCERTS Whaddya say, kid?" cross. "Yea, whaddya say kid?" said Whiskers. "Oh dear," said Phosphorous, "I don't Well folks, that was the last concert loo Lily" as well as their not so old "Well, it's awfully nice of you to ask really know what to do." at I.C. for 1972, and if you didn't see material such as "Apeman", which was me," answered Phosphorous, "but you don't "Just tootle along with Dino, sweetie," it you should kick yourselves. The deliberately taken much too fast, and even know me, and actually I am on an said Luigi, "and get in the Device, like a Kinks always have been a very polished "Lola", in which Ray Davies had little adventure, so I'm afraid I'll have to say no." good boy. Take him away with you, Dino, "Kid," said Dino, "No-one says no to it's time for my little rest." group, and to go with their music, they trouble in inducing audience participa- Luigi Rabbit—leastways not if they want "O.K. boss" growled Dino, "Come on produced the best stage act I've seen tion. During "Alcohol" he emptied the to stay healthy. You'se coming with us kid, let's go." So they went. Phosphorous since Brewers Droop, quite some time remains of his beer mugs, which were in whether you'se likes it or not." and Dino (Washing-Machine) Confetti, with ago. Ray Davies captured the audience constant use throughout the set, into the "Yeah," said Whiskers, pulling a huge Joe (Whiskers) Stoat scuttling along be- carrot from the pocket of his trench coat. hind, brandishing his carrot. with his loose approach to the show, de- front rows, though no-one seemed to "You stupid rodent," shouted Dino, The floor of the tunnel began to tilt up- manding applause for everybody and mind, and for the last two, "You Really "what's that supposed to be; you gonna wards. everything else on stage (including his Got Me" and "All Day and All of the poison him if he makes a run for it, ha?" "At least we're getting back towards the jacket). There were also some nice flour- Night", most people took their seats, "Sorry, Dino, dat's my lunch." surface," thought Phosphorous. He would from the chairs and floor provided, as 'Mamma mia, they send this idiot on an be glad to get out into the fresh air, after ishes produced by the 3-piece brass sec- important job like this. Where's your gat, wandering around in this dank rabbit war- tion, led by Mike Cotton. the band pounded away to Ray's sing- you daft furry thing?" ren. Suddenly the tunnel came to an end. Inevitably they played several of their ing. On its completion he dashed from "I musta left it in the canteen, Dino." An iron ladder led up the earth wall to.a golden oldies since their first hit over the stage to escape from several maidens "You want anything done, you gotta do trapdoor. Dino went first, and heaved open wanting to kiss their hero. For their it yourself." So saying Dino extracted a the trap door. A grey light brightened the 8 years ago, including "Dedicated Fol- pistol from under his left armpit and tunnel, hurting Phosphorous' eyes for a mo- lower of Fashion", "Till the End of the encore, Dave Davies took the spotlight waved it at poor Phosphorous. "O.K. kid, ment. He went up the ladder and out Day", "Sunny Afternoon" and "Water- for "Good Goly Miss Molly," proving let's get moving." through the trap door. He seemed to be in Phosphorous had no choice really, so some kind of tent, the smell of soggy can- Cont. on p. 11. December 12, 1972 FELIX Page 11 Felix Culture Page
Witches Edited by Carolyn Lloyd. tures rarely friendly, most often evil, "Was it a good play, Bob?" sition of pornographic film descriptions Armada, 20p. these are the people from myths and Ah, now there's the rub. Not, mind and bouts of interspersed Romantic legends from long ago who are collected you, "Was it a good play?", but "was Poetry. But these points shine despite, The Witch! The Witch! together here to produce fear and won- it a play?" I will admit to not being at and not because of, the general con- Don't let her get you! der. These are the tales for the young- all sure, even now, as to what it was tent. Or your Aunt wouldn't know you ster (or even the adult) who wishes to that I saw at the Royal Court last So what was it (writes he rhetorically)? the next time she met you! move out of the normal circle of read- night, but for the record the name of ing material, the person who wishes to "You're just a Device!" shouted one of the piece is "A Sense of Detachment" the cast at one of the audience im- That there is no such thing as a cloud even his pinkest of dreams. and it was written by John Osborne. good witch is certainly very true in Perhaps we have always tried to plantees. And that's what the whole I suppose that it must have been thing was — a set of Theatrical De- this book. Carolyn Lloyd's collection reason with the unreasonable, the a play — for it occurred in the Royal may not be very frightening to the natural forces around us and the psy- vices. Court Theatre, a set of people whom Bob Carter. average grown-up but buy it for your chic forces within us, often we have one would normally think of as the 10-year-old cousin and see them glanc- given them the Shape of animals, some- "Cast" spoke lines that Mr. Osborne times humans, very often ghosts. This ing anxiously over their shoulder as had evidently written for them, and an- M they climb the dark stairs to bed on is why Goblins fascinate us. other set of people, whom one would f; Si: m Christmas Eve. Alan Garner doesn't provide the normally think of as the "Audience" He it i Unfortunately, although I enjoyed answers, he only provides the ques- watched them do so, having paid If lift the stories and the poetry I did think tions — the ideas to worry about and heavily for the privilege. If there was a SI: that the illustrations rather let the book the pictures to help conjure them. plot (or even vague direction of pur- 1 n down; but it is still excellent cheap pose), it is that the first-named set of ;;j Ill Christmas present material. people come together and "behave" in si front of the "Audience". Two of the 1 The Witch of Blackbird Pond by "Cast" never appear on stage, but are The Wombles by Elizabeth Beresford. Elizabeth George Speare. Puffin, 25p. planted in the "Audience", and if Puffin, 25p. they were there to act as a catalyst If this one gets serialised by the BBC for audience reaction, they failed mis- Well, you get what you pay for, and for Sunday children's hour, don't be erably. with 170 pages for 25p you can't ex- surprised. It's got all the essentials. A pect too much in the story line from setting in the repressive and intolerant There are however, certain very the Wombles. They're a bit like teddy atmosphere of an early American puri- bright spots in this abysmal business. bears, live under Wimbledon Common tan settlement; a sixteen-year-old hero- John Standing produces a very good and devote their lives to the constant ine; a slow build up of hatred and hys- performance of whatever it is that he labour of keeping it tidy. "Womble life teria; and finally a histrionic courtroom is supposed to be performing, acting has its ups and downs of course" and climax, with, of coarse, a happy end- with a well-paced ease. There are some that's where the story comes in. ing. nice bits of business, notably danced An amusing and attractive series of All the anachronistic conflicts be-" verse of "Widdicombe Fair" with the vaguely linked chapters take us through tween a sixteenth century society and names of contemporary playwrights the first working year of one Bungo the typically liberal heroine are written mockingly inserted, and a clever oppo- Womble. A safe and predictable exis- by an author completely lacking in tence it would appear. Whether such understanding for the record. Which a cosy line in fantasy will appeal to results in the usual antagonistic stero- those capable of reading it is the ques- types of those judged by another con- tion that may be rudely answered by text. the children who get it for Christmas. cerned, although certain lines contradict Apart from that, Witch of Blackbird The Day after the Fair (Lyric). Pond has little to offer except a nause- this impression: it would be better if ating dialogue of the "thank 'ee very he didn't mumble so. A Book of Goblins Edited by Alan much masser Jim" variety. It says "par- When I arrived in London last year, Garner. Puffin, 25p. ticularly suitable for girls" on the cover. the first play I saw was "Sleuth". I Now the clanger: Anna is pregnant One doesn't have to be a supporter of thought it outstanding. Then came (surprise, surprise) so a big scene on "Canterbury Tales", "Company" and If witches are frightening then gob- women's lib to realise that tells us a what to do. Write a letter, what else? lot. "Fiddler on the Roof". I considered lins give me the absolute horrors . . . them outstanding as well. After pin- Charles, in love with the letter writer, Nasty, sinister, inexplicable crea- Dave Hobman ning that same label on another half rushes out asking Anna to marry him. dozen, I concluded "outstanding" was Ths shocks Edith. She is now trapped; in fact the adjective for West End she wishes to tell him she wrote the theatre. "Day after the Fair" does not letters, but doesn't wish to crush Anna, meet this standard. who is elated. POETRy The play centres in a 'nineties draw- Anna's smooth talk wins the day; ing room, where a wealthy brewer the wedding passes. At the reception, Mr. Brewer-man only now meets Engineer's Love Poem to Miss C. (Duncan Lamont) is immersed in busi- ness affairs — trying to ruin his rival. Charles, and on finding him a Lin- His wife of three years, Edith (Deborah coln's Inn lawyer, casually wonders When double Polar integrals, Kerr) was a peasant who he made a why he chose a girl who can't write. And all those things that so befall lady. Having no children, he brings a There is silence as Charles realises he This Engineer of Stress and Shear girl from her village, Anna (Julia Fos- has been (to put it mildly) deceived. All seem to be at once, ter) to be her servant, and is busily Perhaps because the play has now Not clear, making a lady of her. been dragging on for over "two hours; I just sit back, and what the Hell to A fair comes to town where Anna perhaps because the script is bad, meets Charles (Paul Hastings), a Lon- Charles' confrontation with Anna and Squarish Triads and Unit Vector: Edith goes more smoothly and easily What care I now for Entropy, don barrister in town for the day. Next day, - conveniently Anna's after- than expected — he seems to be tak- When all I want noon off, they spend the afternoon in ing it all rather better than the aver- Begins with C? a sheltered glade, culminating their age barrister — and the finish comes new-found friendship in the manner rather quickly and is as unconvincing one might well imagine. as the cast's characteristics. Cont. from p. 10 A week later, a letter arrives from Perhaps it is too harsh to condemn London; alas, being able to neither read the play; there are good parts such as he's got a finevoic e too, while his broth- maestro did have time to make a saus- the end of Act II, scene 2 and some er kept himself out of reach. age dog before its destruction. As always nor write, Anna cannot comprehend its contents. She cons Edith into doing of Netty's lines. Day after the Fair is I was hoping they would play a few the Pink Panther cartoons helped to not the best play in London, but then, more of their most recent material, pacify the audience during the wait after this for her. Edith undertakes this task wih more than average zest, finding nor is it the worst. It makes a welcome though they did play "Celluloid Heroes" the supporting band, Camel, who were change from casual comedies, being one one of the best things they've done, and quite good, and deserved more than just herself more enamoured of Charles with each letter. of the four dramas currently running. little would please me more than to see the polite aplpause that they received. The play is worth the price of a bal- this as number one on "Top Of the It was unfortunate that they should Anna cannot see that. Although the cony seat, although one might want Pops." suffer the problems of playing with a sister-in-law, Netty (Avice Landon) to be nearer to hear the occasional soft- During the interval an avalanche of super group. thinks there's more than beer a-brew- spoken line. balloons was released from the back, ing, 4he fails to make her brother and were promptly burst, though one G.J.K. understand. He seems blithely uncon- Jim Fesner Page 12 the sportFELIX s pageDecember 12, 1972
On Wednesday the 6th of December, the football club's tame historian pulled off a remarkable feat by having the pitches at Harlington playable even after the storms of the previous two days — thank you Arthur. Now back to busi- hockej/ ness, the 1st team played Chelsea and despite the gale and crosse the rain the game would have been a good one to watch. It was a very open contest with both sides playing good foot- At Harlington last Sunday a strange apparition was ball at times. I.C. took the lead in the first-half when Mick Pete shines in new boots observed by all those fortunate enough to be present. McConvey beat two defenders before sliding the ball (as On a wet and blustery Saturday afternoon, IC Lac- Not only did the I.C. team contain its full quota of opposed to rolling it) into the corner of the net. Later in the first half Chelsea were lucky to score when G.E. (full name rosse team faced a formidable task in maintaining uTeir both men and women, but we also provided an umpire and address supplied) dropped a very awkward cross into unbeaten record against Kenton, one of the strongest —this latter person being easily distinguished from the his own goal. In the second half the game was less even and teams in the league. With his usual panache, Paul rest by the. beautiful emerald green fait hat perched I.C: 'began to make more chances. However none of these Spooner chose to start the game facing in the direction upon his head. Having checked that his pea was work- were converted, instead Pete Lonner scored with a diving- cum-falling header to give I.C. a win which they merited of the incoming flight-path to Heathrow, obviously ing well, the umpire blew up and the game started. and also a margin of victory which reflected the evenness of hoping to distract their goalie. Straight from the bully R.V.C. attacked. Unfortunately the first-half. I.C. were still asleep and allowed the Vets captain an Also on Wednesday the 2nds beat Chelsea 2nds 4-0 with That this was going to be no ordinary game was open goal. However, so surprised was this individual, little trouble. The 4th went down to Goldsmiths II 6-4 in an demonstrated, in the first few minutes, when Bob that he missed. At this stage Wonder Boy struck with a exciting battle. The 5ths avenged this defeat in beating Gold- Strangeway "using" his head for once, stopped a shot smiths III 7-3, and finally in an undistinguished match the at goal, and was reduced to a mere shadow of his usual superb goal. R.V.C. fought back and from a short 6ths took two more valuable points when they beat Chelsea corner, Richard Cameron, our star goalkeeper opened III 3-2. ferocious (?) self. As usual IC insisted on presenting Kenton with the first two goals, but Imperial soon his legs, the ball went through and the score became R. Kill 1-1. I.C. regained the lead when W.B. scored again and pulled one back when Tony Hallett was given the five increased their score when Alan Brown (at the third minutes he needs to position himself and place the ball attempt) put the ball in the goal. Unfortunately R.V.C. in the net. scored again before half time from a penalty flick after Kenton continued to score regularly, but the IC team -the I.C. left back-cum-captain-cum-cripple kicked the was never more than two goals behind thanks to the ball off the goal line. At the start of the second half I.C. 3rds arrived late for the kick-off in their first round U.L, cup match against Goldsmiths 2nds, last years winners. efforts of Steve Norris, who produced some fine twenty- I.C. surged into the attack and increased their lead This was to have its effect when the later stages were played yard shots (a pity he's not fitter). when another W.B. thunderbdlt trickled over the line. out in gathering gloom. Early in the game I.C. slow to settle The rest of the match was uneventful apart from W.B. were subjected to strong pressure by the Goldsmiths team. With only a few minutes of play left it looked a missing many more open goalls and some most peculiar Just as I.C. were beginning to play more confidently they suf- fered a setback when Alan Wilkinson had to leave the field to hard task for IC to make up the two-goal deficit. How- umpiring decisions which seemed to get worse as the replace a contact lens. While down to ten men they also ever, continuous pressure from the IC forwards levelled match progressed — thanks for making the match, unfortunately gave away a goal. Alan Peterson, back covering the score and when a shot rolled along the ground, hit amusing Mike. The result of the match—I.C. won 4-2. for Wilkinson, was dispossessed at the edge of the area and an opponent's foot and bounced past their goalie's right the Goldsmiths' forward made no mistake with his shot. Comment by W.B. after the match:— I want pne ear into the top corner of the net, IC went into the lead I.C: were jolted into action by this setback and once back for the first time in the match. This goal provided Pete female for bull ! ! ! ! to full strength they took complete command of the midfield and goals began to look very likely. Indeed, the first goal Drury, mercurial in his new boots, with his hat trick for came following a free-kick just outside the penalty area. Ian the match. > - Hyslop won in the air but his effort was blocked and Peterson following in had a shot blocked before Russ Smith came on Valiant play by Ian Gulliford, who had a magnificent the blind side of the defence to score a deserved equaliser with game in goal, could not prevent Kenton from just man- a well placed shot. aging to score the equaliser in the dying seconds. Final I.C. were now in complete control of what was a very hard, score 9-9. foorball but fair game and they went close- several times before a sec- Kings II 2 I.C. IV 3 (HT 0-1) ond goal eventually arrived. Alan Pearson cut in strongly IC Team (signed at small expense): Ian Gulliford, from the left and a great crossfield pass put Geoff Gilbert A day of persistent rain and wind at Mitcham saw through to score with an unstoppable low shot into the far Jack Katzberg, Frank Craven, Bob (puff, puff) Strange- corner. This was the score at half-time and I.C. were now way, Pete "the hoots". Drury, Paul "Whizz Kid" Spoon- IC IV's achieve a splendid and well merited victory very confidence of victory. They began the second half as against Kings II in a ULU reserves cup lst round tie. they had left off in the first, allowing Goldsmiths very little er, Ray Elms, Lionel Clarke (Asst. Secretary!!), Steve Captain Dave Wilbeck won the toss and chose to time or space. The Goldsmiths front line was well held by Norris and Tony Hallett. play with the slope and against the wind. In the open- the I.C. back four, Andy Jackson being outstanding in the middle while Rob Young and Adrian Johns gave their ing 20 minutes the exchanges were fast and furious with wingers no freedom at all. IC however looking the better side. Despite this they A third goal came just as things were beginning to settle were nearly caught out when Tim Ryan in goal lost down in the second half. A superb run by John Miles came to the ball at the edge of his area and an accurate shot an abrupt end when he was brought down inside the area was headed off the line by Chris Pattison. Steve Han- and a penalty was awarded. .Smith volunteered to take the cock had also to clear off the line but on at least kick and he blasted a shot which the 'keeper dived to save. Paddy However, the referee judged that the goalkeeper had moved three occasions Kings defenders had to perform the before the ball was kicked and I.C. were allowed a second same task in periods of severe IC pressure. chance. This time Smith adopted the 'cool' approach and suc- ceeded in sending the goalkeeper the wrong way to put I.C Pathfinder The game developed into a pattern where the IC 3-1 ahead. From this point on I.C: merely had to keep things midfield of Higham, McConvey and Colbeck were inter- tight in midfield and the game was theirs. In fact most of the subsequent action was in the Goldsmith's half and sev- Picture this: 'tis dead of night in the most inclementl) passing neatly and playing the ball wide with Bill wit weather when a solitary appears out of the murk. Joiner on the right wing especially effective whereas eral times I.C. were unlucky not to increase their lead. The game ended in near darkness with I.C. 3-1 winners, and so Suddenly an unlit parked car looms up in front of the the Kings midfickl were prone to play the ball forward Goldsmiths, who last year beat I.C. 3rds in the semi-final and rider (our star runner) forcing him to swerve, and he too early and their forwards made littfte headway I.C. 2nds in the final, were out in the first round to an I.C. ends up sprawled across the road, viciously hitting the against a determined and resolute IC back four. side who must now have a great chance of lifting the trophy themselves. petrol tank with his ankle in the process. Thus did the IC were creating good situations, but after their Fates rob IC of their chance of medals in the UL early close misses looked unlikely to score until a Team: M. Clark, A. Johns, R. Young, A. Wilkinson, A. Jackson, T. Hyslop (capt.), G. Gilbert, A. Peterson, R. Smith, championships. through ball enabled the Kings right back to slide the J. Miles, A. Pearson. ball neatly past his goalkeeper to give IC a half time Despite the loss of Joe Keating and many others of lead. our best runners, we still managed to field a team (Pete Johnson, Dave Jones, Ian Isherwood, Stuart Littlewood, The second half opened with the pattern much the Rob Allinson, Paul. Clarke and Rob Parker) when, after same but on the hour a fortunate bounce from a tackle a five mile slither through ankle-deep mud, finished set a forward free on the Kings left and he scored a Also on Saturday the 6th played Westfield 2nds in the fourth ("narrowly" missing 3rd place). Included in this fine equaliser with a rocket of a shot. L.R. Cup at Harlington. The game was played in. an in- race was the intercollegiate championship which was Kings made their big effort now but the IC defence cessant drizzle and the small pitch and greasy conditions gave neither side the chance to play good football. The first half won by RCS: C&G had no runners, and RSM had one, were covering well and tackling strongly with plenty was fairly even with I.C. just about having the advantage and and he was lost. of assistance from the rest of the side at dead ball although Johnny Black went close twice the score was still situations. In fact at one corner Mike (Kamikaze) 0-0 when the teams changed around. Last Wednesday's race, the Osterley Park Relay, was Butterworth made a name for himself tackling Kings In the second half Westfield looked more purposeful and even muddier. Our 'A' team finished 27th; positions and forwards with his head. a mistake by Ian Bell followed by a goalkeeping error gave times after each 3 mile lap were: 16 Rob Parker 15m Westfield a deserved lead. Another defensive muddle allowed 51s; 28 Dave Payne L8m 10s; Chris Haines 16m 17s; This pressure was lifted when half way through the the lead to be increased shortly afterwards. 27 Rob Allison 17m. 53s. The 'B' team was started off half IC scored two fine goals in a five minute period. As the half wore on the 6th began to find their feet (in- by Dave Jones (41st and not last) in 19m 6s and he The first of these came when Mike Selwyn fed Bill telligent team, the 6ths), and Johnny Black pulled one back handed over to Paddy Donnelly who returned 32 min- with a fine goal after beating two Westfield defenders on the Joiner on the right wing whose fine run took him 18-yard line. Inspired by this the 6ths forced a series of utes later. Suddenly finding himself on the M4, Paddy behind the defence and his accurate cross enabled Colin corners and from one of these Dave Ivell picked up a half- turned back before he reached Wales and proceeded Higham to strike home a fine goal. clearance and shot home from 15-yards. along the course by a highly skilful application of the IC's 3rd goal came a few minutes later from a corner Teams often claim they cannot win if the referee is on the inspection of footprints. Unfortunately the effect was opposing side and when Ron Kill picked up a ball (you mean somewhat spoiled by his following them in the wrong which was allowed to drop for Mick McConvey to there were more than one, Rob?) on the right and strode smash home a superb left foot volley. through the dusk to hit a pile driver home from 30 yards, direction. Meanwhile, back at the start, Steve Webb From then on IC maintained control until with the Westfield felt a little pissed off! had become so damp and cold that he set off without last kick of the match Kings pulled back a consola- After the match the 6th team manager, captain and sup- waiting for Paddy. One can only imagine the look of tion goal. All in all a fine victory. posed shirt washer Rob (call me Sir Alf) Carty refused to say questioning that passed between them when they met what his team's chances were of winning the cup. halfway across a fieldo f mud. Team: Ryan; Selwyn, Davies, Pallison, Hancock; Team: R. Colston, I Bell, G. Gull, D. Crane, R. Kill (also Colbeck, McConvey, Higham, Joiner, "Ranger," Butter- the unpaid ref.), A. Kang, R. Carty, I. Franklin, J. Black, D. On the way home Steve had a hand-waving argument worth. Ivell, E. Heap. with the driver of another vehicle — a strange way of Mike Selwyn R.C./R.K. expressing his remorse at not being able to race.