April 2017 It’s More Than a Community. It’s a Lifestyle. The Board of Directors Corner Annual Meeting and Board From Director Jim Angstadt Election coming May 4 The Parke at Ocean Pines Annual Meeting and Board On May 4, I will complete my sixth year of service on the Election will be held on Thursday, May 4, at 2:30pm in the Board of Directors of this great community. Since 2006, when Clubhouse Grand Hall. The Nominating/Election Committee I first became involved with the workings of our HOA, I have has nominated three candidates to fill the seats of two direc- participated with other homeowners as a member of several tors whose terms expire on May 5. The Annual Meeting pack- advisory committees as well as on the Board. It has been edu- et will be mailed to each lot owner’s address on file Friday, cational, fun, and indeed a privilege to have served with many March 31. The packet will contain the voting instructions and each of the three candidate’s nomination submission. Please volunteers whose common goal is to work for the betterment be sure to set aside time to vote as the voting will begin on of our community. Monday, April 3, and end Monday, May 1, at 5:00pm. The My hope is for folks to continue to serve on committees Homeowners Association will use the same electronic voting and on the Board of Directors so that our residents are driv- website as the previous three years as well as a paper ballot ing the decisions made about budgets, facilities, rules, and the for those who prefer to vote manually. If you prefer to use the fun things we do. Our system of Resident/Committee/Board paper ballot, please contact The Parke’s staff at the Clubhouse. governance has served us well up to now. All of us have the The Parke’s website will provide the link to the voting website ability to contribute in some way to further the cause. Get and all information provided in the mailer in the event you involved! Volunteer! are away from home and need to access this information. All I would like to thank all those with whom I have served votes submitted prior to the meeting are final, in accordance over the past ten years – Board and committee members, three with the bylaws of the Association. general managers, all the support staff, CRRs, block captains, Thank you to the following three residents who have vol- and all others who volunteered their time and talents. A spe- unteered to serve this Association: Joseph (Joe) Dell, Dawn Johnson and Leo Moran. cial thanks to Donna McCracken, who has served so well as president of the HOA for the past two years. It was a pleasure CLUBHOUSE HOURS to have worked with Donna and I hope she returns to serve the Mon. - Thurs. 7:30 am - 7:30 pm community again after a well-deserved rest. Friday 7:30 am - 5:00 pm See you around The Parke! Saturday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm Jim Sunday Noon - 5:00 pm Phone: 410-208-4994 Fax: 410-208-4996 Kristi Clarke, General Manager ([email protected]) Ever see the Parke Bench Barbara Cordrey, Asst GM ([email protected]) in color at Vicki Magin, Coordinator ([email protected]) www.parkehappenings.com? Website: www.parkehappenings.com WOW! INSIDE THIS ISSUE Parke Happenings...... p. 2 Mark Your Calendar Committee Reports...... p. 5 Committee/Board Meetings Red Hats...... p. 7 Covenants April 5 9:30am Recipe Corner...... p. 8 Communications April 5 1:00pm Your PC...... p. 9 Operations April 11 1:00pm Health Matters...... p. 10 Programs April 12 9:00am On The Lighter Side...... p. 11 Outside The Parke...... p. 13 Design Review April 18 9:00am Tax Tips...... p. 14 Budget and Finance April 21 9:30am Science Corner...... p. 18 BOD April 26 9:30am

2 Parke Happenings

Java Hour Spring Garage Sale At the April 7 Java Hour, the guest speaker Time is running out to participate in The will be the Worcester County Fire Marshall. Parke’s spring garage sale. This semi-annual Topics to be included are fire safety, residential event is being held on Saturday, April 29, from prevention efforts, and homeowner responsi- 7:30am-12:00 noon with a rain date of May 6. bilities for inspection and maintenance of fire To participate, you will need to be registered by sprinkler systems. placing $1.00 in the signup notebook at the Clubhouse NLT April 22. The Coordinator is busy behind the scenes with publicity and planning for a 501c3 organization to pick up Brunch by the Sea your leftovers, similar to the past two sale events. If you have The Parke’s Annual Brunch by the any questions, contact Diane McGraw at 410-208-2569 or mc- Sea will take place on Saturday, April 8, [email protected]. at the Clarion Hotel in Ocean City. The time will be 10:30am to 12 noon and the cost is $15.50 per person, including tax and gratuity. Make checks payable to “PPC.” In addi- tion to a fabulous brunch buffet, join us for the camaraderie of The Parke Book Club The Parke Book Club meets in the your Parke friends and neighbors. You can sign up now until Clubhouse on the fourth Thursday of the month from 2-4pm. April 1 in the notebook at the Clubhouse. Any questions, please The group’s schedule is as follows: April - Lucia, Lucia by contact Peg Robinson at 410-208-6893 or j.robinson1031@ Adriana Trigani, and May - The Columbus Affair by Steve verizon.net. Barry.

Wine Appreciation Group The Wine Appreciation Group was formed in 2006. The group, seen below at a recent gathering, enjoys wine tastings Scan this QR CODE to go rd on the 3 Sunday of every month from 2:30-4:30pm at the directly to The Parke website. Clubhouse. These hosts invite you to join them:

• Apr 9 - Hosts: Chris & Carol Wanzer. Theme: Any wine from South Africa. • May 21 – Hosts: Harold & Susan Fingerhut. Theme: Any sparkling wine. News for The Parke Bench should be sent to the Editor: [email protected] by the 15th of the month. Participants are asked to bring their own glass, a light The Parke Bench is published monthly by snack and a themed bottle of wine to share. If you would like The Homeowners Association of to join them, contact Harold Fingerhut on 410-973-1616 or The Parke at Ocean Pines Diane McGraw on 410-208-2569. President, Donna McCracken Vice President, Tom Piatti Secretary, Bob Ostrowski Member-at-Large, Jim Angstadt Member-at-Large, Dale Buley Chair-Communications Advisory Committee, Pat Addy STAFF Rick Rodgers, Editor ([email protected]) Joyce Piatti, Recipe Corner ([email protected]) Nate Boring, Outside The Parke ([email protected]) Gene Edge, Your PC ([email protected]) Joan Kessler, Advertising Rep ([email protected]) Kristi Clarke, General Manager ([email protected]) Barbara Cordrey, Asst. GM ([email protected]) Vicki Magin, Coordinator, ([email protected]) 3

Need a little help? Ocean Pines Women’s Club – A number of Parke neighbors have volunteered to help with “Fun” Events & Giving Back occasional and infrequent needs of other Parke neighbors. The network of volunteers is called “Caring Neighbors” and is co- ordinated by Steve and Cathy Habeger (home 410-208-3504). “Hey Girlfriend” Women’s Club’s Fashion Show - Celebrate spring at Items that neighbors have helped with include: a luncheon fashion show fundraiser • changing light bulbs (especially that pesky bulb over the to be held on Thursday, April 6, from front porch), 11:30am-2:30pm at The Bayside Skil- • installing emergency call systems, like LifeLine, etc. let on 7701 Coastal Highway, Ocean • changing smoke detector batteries, • providing a ride to car repair shops for drop-off and pick City. Meet the best girlfriends you’ll ever have, plus many up, and pieces of clothing and jewelry items from Chico’s you’ll love • picking up a prescription. to pieces! For $30 per person, enjoy a luncheon, fashions by Chico’s, and raffles. All proceeds will benefit the Women’s Caring Neighbors does not handle medical assistance or Club scholarship program and community donations. emergencies and is always looking for volunteers to help! If For reservations, call Kay Hickman at 410-600-0552. you would like to become a Caring Neighbor, please con- Checks are payable to “WCOP.” Indicate your choice of en- tact Steve or Cathy Habeger at 410-208-3504 or by email at: trée: (1) Salmon with vegetable medley, (2) Caesar salad with [email protected]. grilled chicken or (3) Tuna melt with side salad. The way it works is very simple. When a request comes in to the Coordinator, it is evaluated; and, if appropriate, an email Card & Game Party- This event is a repeat performance goes out to all members. Anyone who can assist and is willing of November’s party because members have requested this. to do so, contacts the requesting person directly, makes ar- On Thursday, May 11, from 10am-2pm at the OC Fish Com- rangements, and then lets the Coordinator know that the need pany in West Ocean, enjoy Canasta, Hand and Foot, Mexican has been taken care of. If, as a Caring Neighbor, you are not Train and other games. This fundraiser costs $25 per person available or do not want to respond to a request, you can just and includes lunch from a choice of entrees. For reservations, ignore the email. No one is put on the spot to make excuses contact Susann Palamara at 410-208-2821 or smpal1@veri- or say no. A person looking for some assistance should try to zon.net. give Caring Neighbors 48 to 72 hours notice, if possible. While the above “fun” events raise monies for our scholar- If you need assistance or if you know of other Parke resi- ship and community donations program, our “Giving Back to dents who may need assistance, contact the Habegers at the the Community” presentation will be held on Thursday, May phone number or email address listed above. 4, from 10am-12noon at the Ocean Pines Community Cen- ter. Thanks to our membership, the Women’s Club of Ocean Pines gives to our residents. If you have any questions, please contact Donna Potenza at 410-641-8046 or ddpotenza@aol. com). Welcome Committee By Peg Robinson, Chair When you’re curious, you find lots of We are here to experience the best of our community and interesting things to do. the lifestyle that we deserve. Let’s welcome these residents to their new homes in The Parke. -- Walt Disney

Frank & Debbie Kilian, 29 Hatteras Street Michael Leventhal & Karen Kaplan, 32 Chatham Court S Carrying Constance (Connie) Sroka, 7 Annapolis Court U premium P P P foods, Bob & Stacey Shevchuck, formerly of 2 Hidden Lake E L toys, Court, have relocated to 42 Fort Sumter South. T I gifts As of March 4, there have been eight new households, sev- E S & en owners and one renter. More If you are interested in joining the Welcome Com- mittee, please contact Peg Robinson at 410-208-6893 or [email protected]. 11934 Ocean Gateway (Rt. 50 East) • Phone: 410-213-7490 4

Where in the World is The Parke Bench?

The annual Florida get-together dinner at Cafe Baci in Sarasota, FL, was held on February 25. This dinner, hosted by Joe and Marge Matturo, is a gathering of present and former Parke residents. A great time was had by all.

Several residents from The Parke went on the Ocean Pines Jane and Mike Simcock found a bench in the cloud forest bus trip to the Philadelphia flower show. It was another awe- of Costa Rica. some show. Shown are: Penny Miller, Joan Kessler, Kathy Shayer, and Joan Strauss. 5

Covenants Committee Committee Reports By Cindy Ostrowski, Chair Budget and Finance Committee By Diane McGraw, Chair A Covenants subcommittee of Jerry Gietka and Margaret Giacoponello re- The Budget & Finance Advisory ported significant progress in the revi- Committee has vacancies for alter- sion of the HOA Activities and Club- nates. Please contact the Chair if you house Usage Policy. There was a group are interested in being a steward of The of 14 interested residents who attended Parke’s financials. March’s meeting was their meeting at the end of February. This was followed by a lengthy due to the time it took to review lively discussion at the March committee meeting as well. Li- the year-end 2016 financials, as well as ability insurance requirements and numbers of guests at Parke the January 2017 and February 2017 fi- activities and events were covered. The policy is targeted to be nancials. We reviewed one Request for presented to the Board at their April meeting. Susann Palama- Funds from the Operations Committee for the purchase of ra will also have input on behalf of the Programs Committee. seven floor mats for the locker rooms and pool area. These At the March Board meeting, the Covenants Committee mats are non-slip drainage matting with antimicrobial coat- requested the appointment of alternate member Jerry Gietka as ing. We anticipate the review of the 2016 Audit conducted by a regular member of the committee, replacing Bob McConkey PKS and Company by our Committee to occur mid-April. who resigned for personal reasons. We also requested the ap- Our next meeting is Friday, April 21, at 9:30am and is pointment of Jennifer Snider-Tornetta as an alternate member. open to all residents All mold violations have been appropriately followed up. The Board of Directors authorized cleaning of two of the homes whose owners were deceased. The next meeting of the Committee is scheduled for Wednesday, April 5, at 9:30am. Parke residents are always Communications Advisory Committee welcome! By Pat Addy, Chair The Communications Committee Design Review Committee (CAC) wants to invite all residents to come By Linda Olsen, Chair hear our Java speakers for April and May. Presenters will be Jeff McMahon from the Worcester County Fire Marshalls Office on It’s spring in The Parke. The daffo- April 7 and Thomas Kane from the Worces- dils and the trees have been blooming for ter County Emergency Services Office on some time now and the community is really May 5. Both will be sharing valuable information applicable coming alive. The DRC knows it is spring to all Parke residents. As usual, we encourage participation in because the application forms for outside the “question and answer” portion of these programs, which projects are starting to roll in. We have a newly revised ap- start at 10am. plication form and recently updated guidelines available for We would also like to invite residents to attend The your immediate use. You should receive a mailing just about Parke’s Ice Cream Social. This is open to all residents and now that includes, among other things, a copy of the guidelines will give you a chance to meet the candidates running for the and the application form. Both can always be found on Parke BOD and at the same time enjoy an ice cream soda or sundae Happenings. Please use these new documents when requesting with toppings. The date is April 1 and this is not an April approval for your outside projects. Fool’s joke! The doors open at 1pm in the Grand Hall. Trees seem to be a continuing topic of discussion in The The last date to mark on your calendar is May 4 - The Parke. First, we have the trees in the protected areas that are Parke’s Annual Meeting, starting at 2pm in the Clubhouse. off limits to us, as residents, even though your property lines Come early to get the best seats! Following the meeting, may go into that wooded area. Check your plat maps for a all residents are invited to adjourn to Happy Hour at “The clear understanding of what areas of your property are restrict- Outback” in the White Marlin Mall. Complimentary hors ed. Because you own it does not necessarily mean you can use d’oeuvres will be served. it. There can be reprimands and fines from the County and/or In addition to the annual meeting, May 4 is the start of the State for disturbing the protected forest. Ocean City’s Springfest for those who want to continue the The second topic of trees concerns the ornamental trees party. that have been planted on your property and, in particular, the The next CAC meeting will be on Wednesday, April 5, at tree in the front of your home. Our guidelines say that the front 1pm and is open to all residents. Continued on Page 6 6

Committee Reports Continued From Page 5 Additional projects include updating and, where required, repairing the various Parke & Trail signs. We are also contact- tree is to be replaced if it has to come down for some reason. ing insulation companies for recommendations to address the Permission is required to remove the tree and requirements are poor water pipe insulation within the Clubhouse. This lack in place for replacing that tree. Do read the guidelines and do of insulation requires that the water within the Clubhouse come to us with any questions or concerns you have about the be turned off during the winter months to prohibit freezing process. Every case is different and we will work with you to pipes. find the best solution for The Parke. We are The Parke and The Committee will be contacting the County Highway parks have trees, and our Parke has an abundance of trees. We Department to address the feasibility of reflective roadway have a responsibility to keep it that way. markers for certain areas of our Parke roads. Driving and I can’t finish up this article until I remind you of our an- parking on the grass continues to be an issue within The Parke nual mold and mildew inspection requiring you to wash your and we are searching for ways to alleviate the problem. house before the first week of July if any mold, mildew, or Finally, a reminder that we have scheduled the Worcester dirt is evident on your siding. It takes months of reminders County Fire Marshall to address the Parke residents during the and even then some residents wait until we send you that first April Java Hour. Topics to be included are fire safety, resi- letter after our inspection before doing the deed. Please save dential prevention efforts, and homeowner responsibilities for us some time and money by washing your house before we inspection and maintenance of fire sprinkler systems. inspect. Yes, I said money. Sending out letters costs the hom- eowners association paper, envelopes, stamps, and employee time for preparation. Help us save money by completing your Programs Advisory Committee power washing before the first week of July. By Susann Palamara, Chair So, this being said, please get out there and enjoy our beautiful community in the spring. We just had an International Happy Hour and movie and we invite residents to look Operations Committee forward to all the upcoming events planned By Bill Glock, Chair by Programs. In April, we’ll have a good old-fashioned No doubt that after a very mild Feb- Hootenanny presented by Gene Edge, Jim Angstadt and Mike ruary, March certainly dealt us a “dose of Dailey. Come join in and sing along. Bring your drink of reality” that winter was not done with us. choice and snack. Look for a flier shortly for details. However, SPRING is on the way and the Also coming to the Clubhouse soon is a recorded concert milder temperatures that come with it. The by Andrea Bocelli “Under The Desert Sky.” Moore Companies is out in force, sprucing up The Parke and, Marcia Balestri will give a talk on bird migration in our along with our residents’ efforts, creating that beautiful envi- area on May 11 at 2pm in the Grand Hall followed by a May ronment that we all have come to enjoy and appreciate. 17 field trip to Delaware Nature. Look for more info on these A few updates on projects that we are working on. The events. Clubhouse shower replacement project is just about finished. We are also planning a Memorial Day picnic on May 29. Final painting and light installation is underway and we have ordered new mats for the shower area. Additionally, in re- sponse to users’ commentary, we are going to be installing moveable shower heads. This will address the height issue of I have no special talents. the existing shower heads. In coordination with the shower I am only passionately curious. project, the Clubhouse hot water heaters have been replaced with energy efficient hybrid units. -- Albert Einstein

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Red Hats Activities

Red cHatters Scarlett O’Hatters In late April, the Red cHatters practiced their aim at The Scarlett O’Hatters enjoyed a luncheon at Irish Eyes the indoor Old Pro Golf Course and later went to tea at in Lewes, DE on March 16. the Dunes Manor Hotel. They also went to the first Friday reception in March at the Ocean City Art League where they viewed the wonderful works of art along with appetizers provided by the League.

Red Hattitudes The Red Hattitudes celebrated their 12th anniversary with a luncheon and party in the Clubhouse, chaired by Barb Wisnoski (treasurer) and Joan Kessler (Queen). We had salads, fried chicken and desserts. We dressed in green to celebrate St. Patty’s Day as well. After lunch Barb hosted a game which we all participated in. 8

Baked Honey Lemon Recipe Corner Chicken Drumsticks By Joyce Piatti [email protected] When it comes to making this dish, after adding honey, don’t leave your drumsticks unattended as you don’t want them to be burnt. Kecap Manis is a kind of Indonesian Seafood Salad sweet soy sauce, with an aroma of palm sugar, available at 14 ounces imitation crab/real crab or shrimp Asian grocers and supermarkets. ½ cup mayonnaise 1-2 stalks (amount per preference), finely Prep time: 10 mins chopped Cook time: 45 mins + plus 30 mins for marinating ½ teaspoon Yield: 2 to 3 serves ½ teaspoon dill Ingredients: to taste 6 (900gm) chicken drumsticks 1 lemon, sliced Separate crab into individual pieces (only if compressed 3 bay leaves in package – if not, disregard) and chop into 1/2-inch 3 cloves garlic pieces; add to a medium bowl. Add remaining ingredi- 3 Tbsp (60ml) chicken stock ents and gently stir until well combined. Serve immedi- 2 Tbsp (40ml) honey ately or cover and refrigerate to store. Marinade: 1 Tbsp (20ml) Kecap Manis If you don’t have any Old Bay, use a combination of 2 tsp (10ml) lemon juice celery salt and paprika. ¼ tsp freshly grated black pepper, to taste

Instructions: Rinse the drumsticks and pat dry with kitchen paper. Mix with marinade and set aside for 30 minutes or over- night (put in fridge with cover). Preheat oven to 200C / 390F. Heat oil and sauté the garlic cloves until aromatic over medium-high heat. Don’t burn them though. Add drum- sticks and cook until both sides are lightly brown. Transfer the drumsticks and garlic with the marinade into a baking dish. Place lemon slices on top of the drumsticks. Add bay leaves. Pour in the chicken stock. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes. Carefully remove the baking dish from oven. Flip the drumsticks to the other side. Drizzle honey over the drumsticks. Con- tinue to bake for a further 15 minutes. Serve hot.

Free Estimates and In-Home Consultations 9

\feature rather that the “800 number,” because it is usually Your PC: quicker than waiting on hold, and you can save a copy of the Email Consolidation Coming conversation to refer back to if you have any questions or is- By Gene Edge ([email protected]) sues later on. I have not been selected yet to move my email accounts, but I will post an update on the Forum when I do.

(Thanks to TechRepublic and CNET who provide much of the If you want to receive my occasional security bulletins and source material for my columns.) tips, send an email to me and I will add you to my distribution list. As a reminder, this column is also posted to the Forum on I have had a few questions recently about Verizon email the Parke Happenings website, as well as some other articles and MS Livemail being shut down. The short answer is “yes and security bulletins. they are;” BUT, this is not as traumatic as it first appears. Both vendors have multiple email services, and they are beginning to consolidate them. Verizon also has AOL and Be less curious about people and more Yahoo email services; Microsoft also has Hotmail, MSN, and curious about ideas. Outlook email services. So, here is the lowdown on what is happening and how to make the transition. Both Verizon and -- Marie Curie Microsoft have millions of users in their various email plat- forms. It makes sense to consolidate them, it is a lot easier and efficient to manage and support one email platform rather than Cindy Poremski three or four. This will also eliminate conflicts between their REALTOR®, ABR, CRS, GRI, SRS different email services. Cell: 410.430.9988 Verizon is staging groups of customers and contacting Office: 410.208.3500 them via email and offering instruction on moving to AOL Email: [email protected] OCconnection.com email. You will be able to keep your current Verizon email address and the process is very simple and easy. Since hack- ers are usually quick to try getting information, I would sug- gest going to the Verizon website to do the transfer rather than 11001 MANKLIN MEADOWS LN, OCEAN PINES, MD 21811 clicking on the link in the email. Microsoft appears to be using the same type of process and providing an easy method to move to Hotmail or Outlook. As I did with Verizon, I suggest going to Microsoft’s Livemail web page and doing the transfer from there rather than from the email. (Just because I am paranoid doesn’t mean that no one is out to get me.) In either case, I recommend that you keep the email for reference purposes, just in case. Both vendors also have a procedure set up to help you export your address book and saved emails so you can import and move them into another email service, such as Gmail, if you wish. Both vendors have Tech Support available to help you in the migration process. I prefer using the “Live Chat”

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If those steps don’t completely eliminate the symptoms, Health Matters your vet may consider prescribing medication to help. There are allergy injections and some medications that have been Those Doggone Allergies shown to be useful. Check with your vet to find out all the Just like humans, dogs can develop allergies. If your options available to you and your dog. dog often gets fits of coughing or sneezing, skin problems, or seems generally uncomfortable, he may be suffering from an allergic reaction. Did You Know: Licorice Symptoms of allergies in dogs include itchy, red or scabbed April 12th is National Licorice Day. skin, increased scratching, runny eyes, sneezing, coughing, snoring, and constant licking. Just like humans, dogs can be • Glycyrrhizin is a substance in licorice root that is fifty allergic to pollen and mold, dust, cigarette smoke, cleaning times sweeter than regular sugar. It is used as a flavoring in food, tobacco, alcohol, and cosmetics. products, prescription drugs, fabrics, and food. • The licorice plant is a small shrub with blue to violet flow- If food is the suspected allergen, pinning down the culprit ers and is classified as a weed. The most usable part of the can take some work. A food allergy in a dog usually results in plant is the root. itchy skin, ear infections, and gastrointestinal problems. Your • The main flavor ingredient of licorice candy is anise, but vet can work with you to use an elimination diet to identify the some licorice candy does contain small amounts of licorice. specific allergens. If you and your vet cannot figure out what • Over ninety percent of licorice used as a flavoring is used is causing these symptoms, your dog may need further testing to flavor tobacco. using an intradermal skin test similar to the one used on hu- • Eating large quantities of real licorice can raise your blood mans. pressure and cause of loss of potassium from your body. The licorice-flavored Blackjack Chewing Gum was introd If you suspect an allergy, the first line of defense is to re- • uced in 1872 as the first flavored gum in the United States. It move the aggravating substance from your dog’s environment. is still available today. Irritated skin can be treated with topical medications. Practice • Over one million miles of Twizzlers are produced every good flea control and keep your home’s environment clean year. Although they are labeled as licorice, there actually is no and as free from dust and mold as possible. Weekly bathing real licorice or anise in them. can help remove allergens from your dog’s coat. If food is the • There was a large supply of licorice found in King Tut’s problem, then your vet can recommend a diet free from any tomb. Readings of ancient hieroglyphics reveal that licorice identified allergens. was used to make a popular beverage of the time.

www.websterspowerwashing.com 11

....OR On The Lighter Side You can retire to The Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. Retirement Choices: 2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural. 3. “He needed killin” is a valid defense. You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...... 4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, 1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your Joe Bob, Betty Jean, etc. house because you found shade. 5. Everything is either: “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out 2. You’ve experienced condensation on your rear-end from yonder.” the hot water in the toilet bowl. 6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say 3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never “Bless his heart” at the end! leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. ....OR 5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits You can move to Colorado where... you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. degrees. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way 6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE home, so he stops at the day care center. YOU KIDDING ME?? 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ...... OR pony tail. You can retire to California where...... OR 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can’t afford to buy You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where... a house. 1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your your name. driveway. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. tractor. 4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell 3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the them how long it will take to get there rather than how same day. many miles away it is. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat 5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought. at?”

.....OR ....OR You can retire to New York City where... FINALLY you can retire to Florida where... 1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. mean Manhattan. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get houses and cars. from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, Wisconsin on a map. dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist. 3. You think Central Park is “nature.” 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by head own language makes you multilingual. less people. 5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.) 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression Thanks to Joan Kessler for sending me this month’s humor column.

....OR You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas. 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair. 6. The highest level of criticism is “He is different,” “She is different,” or “It was different!” 12

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Outside The Parke April 24 to May 7 – Spring Restaurant Week. Many spec- By Nate Boring [email protected] tacular restaurants create special, fixed-price menus designed to tempt your taste buds. No passes, tickets, or coupons are re- quired. Simply choose a participating restaurant and dine out. Spring is upon us. Spring is a great time to visit the sites in For more information, visit www.oceancityrestaurantweek. D.C., Baltimore, Annapolis, Philadelphia, and Norfolk. After com or call 410-289-6733. a two-and-a half-hour drive, you’ll be able to see world class attractions, museums, sports, etc. Also, the Freeman Stage Friday to Sunday, April 28 to 30 – Ward World Champion- schedule is out. ship Carving Competition at the Convention Center. Carv-

ers & visitors from around the world convene for the most Saturday and Sunday until May 28 – Ocean City Aviation prestigious competition of contemporary wildfowl art. Event Association is offering cooked-to-order breakfasts at the air- includes judging, benefit auction, classes & seminars, demon- port terminal building from 9 to noon. Donation of $7 is re- strations, children’s activities and exhibitor booths of artisans quested. Proceeds support the Huey Memorial - “For Those & art supplies. View world class bird carvings and sculptures, Who Served.” Info at oceancityaviationassn.org/weekend- bid on world class art at the benefit auction. Shop at over 100 breakfasts. exhibitor booths, and enjoy an abundance of kids activities Saturday, April 8 - 6th Annual Ocean City at the Kids Corner. Admission. For more information, visit Race for the Cure. A 5K timed run, recre- www.wardmuseum.org. ational 5K walk, and a one-mile family fun Thursday to Sunday, walk, beginning at the Race Village in the May 4 to 7 – Spring- OC Inlet and along the Boardwalk. Parade of Pink, Survi- fest. The throngs de- vor Tent, Dance Party, Beer Garden. Adult pre-registration scend on Ocean City. is $35. For more information, call 410-938-8990, visit www. komenmd.org, or email [email protected]. Wednesday, May 10 - Bus trip to Barnes Foundation Mu- Saturday, April 8 – Rescues Rock the Runway Fashion seum in Philadelphia. Cost is $70. The Barnes Museum holds Show from 9 to 5 at the Convention Center. Pet Threadz in- the greatest private art collections with over 3000 masterpiec- vites you and your furbaby to the first Pet Expo & Fashion es. For information and to register, call the Worcester County Show on the Eastern Shore, “Rescues Rock the Runway.” Arts Council at 410-641-0809. Registration deadline is April Event admission is a minimum $5 donation. For more infor- 15, so get a move on it. mation, e-mail [email protected]. Saturday and Sunday, May 13 and 14 – Ocean

City Pickleball Tournament. Compete in the Sunday, April 16 – Easter. fastest growing sport in America right here at Northside Park’s Recreation Complex in Ocean City, MD. We offer a variety of age divisions. Saturday, April 22 – Boardwalkin’ for Pets Double elimination format with men’s, women’s, and mixed from 8 to noon. Worcester County Humane Soci- doubles offered. For more information, call Kim Allison at ety annual fun event - walk-a-thon on the boards! 410-250-0125. All proceeds benefit the Ocean City area’s no-kill pet shelter. Bring your pet for a fun day on the boards to help the animals or adopt a shelter dog for the day Sunday, May 14 – by making arrangements prior to the walk-a-thon. Registra- Mother’s Day. tion fee. For more information visit www.worcestercountyhu- manesociety.org.

Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner Open Mon-Sat. 7:30am - Close 11001 Manklin Meadows Lane Full Service Bar NOW OPEN SUNDAY Ocean Pines, MD 21811 BEER • WINE • SPIRITS 8AM - 1PM “Work with a top area realtor, BERKSHIRE BET ON BENNINGTON FOR RESULTS!” . HATHAWAY n.. ai HomeServices Office: 410-208-3500 ag e m PenFed Realty Cell: 410-603-8065 co o : t o v A member of the franchise system o of BHH Affiliates, LLC. N Specialty Sandwiches • Entrees • NY Style Pizza e Daily Specials At Homemade Soups • Salads D www.denovos.com Debbie Bennington [email protected] REALTOR®, SFR® debbiebennington.penfedrealty.com 11310 Manklin Creek Rd • South Gate • Ocean Pines • 410-208-2782 REALTOR® 14

By Rick Rodgers, RTRP a gift, your basis is the same as the donor’s basis. Don’t toss Tax Tips [email protected] those old records just because you’re the new owner of the assets. Keep your records organized (I recommend arranging Tax Records You Should Keep them by year) and store them in a safe place. If the IRS comes After Tax Day (And How Long To calling, you’ll want to be able to produce legible records in a Keep Them) pretty timely manner. That’s a lot to hold onto. Wondering what you can safely I am frequently asked about how long tax records should toss? Consider: be kept. Here are some tips to help you figure out which re- Duplicates of receipts. cords to keep and how long to keep them: Records that are unrelated to deductions and credits not claimed. One of the biggest offenders? Medical receipts As a rule, keep your tax records and supporting documen- when you don’t actually claim the medical expenses deduc- tation until the statute of limitations runs for filing returns or tion. You don’t need to keep those receipts for tax purposes filing for refund. For most taxpayers, that means that you’ll (you may need them for other personal reasons, however, so want to keep those records for three years following the date of don’t make everything about tax). filing or the due date of your tax return, whichever is later. Old tax returns. Some tax professionals recommend that If you file a claim for credit or refund after you file your you never throw out your old tax returns – even when the stat- return, you’ll want to keep your records for three years from ute of limitations has already run – as proof that you’ve filed. the date you filed your original return or two years from the I don’t think that’s necessary date you paid the tax, whichever is later. If you file an amended return, it does not extend the stat- One last piece of advice: when you’re ready to toss those old ute of limitations for your original return. The clock doesn’t records, have a shredder handy. Remember that your records restart: the original date determines the statute of limitations have personally identifying information, as well as details (some exceptions apply if you file within 60 days of the assess- about your finances, which you want to keep private and away ment window). from potential identity thieves. You’ll want to keep supporting documentation for as long as the statute of limitations runs. Supporting documentations for your tax returns includes not only your forms W-2 and 1099s, but also bills, credit card and other receipts, invoices, Please Note: mileage logs, canceled, imaged or substitute checks, proofs of Residents are requested to take only one payment, and any other records to support deductions or cred- Parke Bench per household. its you claim on your return. If you make nondeductible contributions to a traditional IRA, hold onto those records until you make a complete with- drawal/distribution: you don’t want to pay tax on those twice. As a rule of thumb, you should hold onto all IRA records – I find that a great part of the information I have including Roth contributions – until you withdraw all of the was acquired by looking up something and find- money from the account. ing something else on the way. If you own property that will result in a taxable event at sale -- Franklin P. Adams or disposition (like stocks, bonds or your home), you’ll want to keep records which support your related tax consequences (capital gains, etc.) until the disposition of the property plus three years. That means, for example, that you should keep re- cords related to your home, including home improvements, for as long as you own the house. Remember that you’re entitled to exclude up to $250,000 of gain on the sale of your home ($500,000 if married filing jointly) – so keep excellent records of the cost of the home as well as any improvements or other adjustments to basis. If you receive property as the result of a gift or inheri- tance, you’ll want to keep records that support your basis in that property. Generally, if you inherit property, your basis is the stepped up value as of the date of death; if you receive 15

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By the Numbers: Bottled Water

• The average number of plastic bottles used per person annually in the United States is 167.

• Global sales revenue from bottled water tops $65 billion per year.

• The largest consumer markets for bottled water are (in order) the United States, Mexico, China, and Brazil.

• There are 1,500 water bottles consumed in the United States every second.

• 40% of all bottled water is taken from municipal water sources, a.k.a. tap water.

Source: International Bottled Water Association

I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Accepting New Patients 18

The Science Corner But sometime afterwards, those cell(s) split into two different unicellular organisms that are still with us today: bacteria and Today’s Topic: Are We Alone archaea. Under a microscope, these two singled-celled organ- (Part I)? isms look very similar to one another, and both are classified By Bruce Jarvis as prokaryotes. They have cell walls and their chromosomes are arrayed in circles that float about in their cells. However, In 1939, Winston Churchill wrote the following in a re- they have distinctly different genes and biochemistries that cently discovered unpublished document, “I, for one, am not demonstrate that they split from one another in the far distant so immensely impressed by the success we are making of our past. However, a microbiologist going back in time would find civilization here that I am prepared to think we are the only that these organisms would be remarkably similar to those of spot in this immense universe which contains living, thinking today; their architectures have remained basically unchanged creatures, or that we are the highest type of mental and physi- for billions of years. Importantly, no prokaryote has ever de- cal development which has ever appeared in the vast compass veloped into a multi-cellular organism. of space and time.” See https://www.theguardian.com/sci- There is a second class of organism built from a very dif- ence/2017/feb/15/winston-churchill-essay-alien-life-discov- ferent type of cell: the eukaryote. This type of cell is a 1000 ered-us-college-are-we-alone-in-the-universe. times larger than the prokaryote and is used to build the king- The question of whether “we” are alone in the universe doms of the protists (protozoa), fungi, plants and animals. The actually takes two forms: the “we” of life in general and the eukaryotic cell is encircled typically by a membrane rather “we” of intelligent life. These are really two quite different than a cell wall, and most critically has linear chromosomes questions. that are encased in a membrane that keeps the chromosomes First of all, the only direct evidence for addressing this separate from the rest of the cell –the nucleus of the cell. In question at the moment is found here on earth. Although it is addition, the eukaryotic cell has a number of complex struc- always problematical to extrapolate from a single example, we tures not found in prokaryotic cells. The eukaryotic cell arose have accumulated a great deal of indirect evidence in the last some 1.5 – 2 billion years ago, but it took perhaps another bil- 50 years to suggest that this earth is not unique and thus life lion years before multi-cellular animals appeared. Thus, for 3 very likely exists elsewhere. billion years, the only life on this planet was that of the single- There are upwards of 200 billion stars in our galaxy and cell organisms. recent work has suggested that there are 2 trillion galaxies in From whence did the novel type of eukaryote cell arise? the rest of the universe. As of 2017, over 3500 stars in our It came about by the incorporation of a bacterium into an ar- galaxy have been found to have planets, and of these planets, chaea cell –a story that will be told next month. nearly 200 are in earth-like regions with respect to their star. Recently, one star was found to have seven earth-like planets Board Certified orbiting it. Even assuming that only 0.001% of stars have one of these earth-like planets, this suggests that we have 2 million earth-like planets in this galaxy alone. Furthermore, we now Jerrold S. Canakis, M.D., P.A. know that the critical molecules needed to build life (water GASTROENTEROLOGY and organic compounds) are commonly found about our gal- Jerrold S. Canakis, MD axy and could lead to life as it did in our world. Samah Ramadan-Nassar, PA-C But there is a huge difference between “life in general” and “intelligent life,” as can been appreciated by considering 10344 Old Ocean City Blvd. Office: 410-641-2938 in what form life developed here. We know nothing about the Suite 1 Fax: 410-641-4904 first cells that appeared between 3.5 to 4 billion years ago. Berlin, MD 21811 www.CANAKISGI.com MATTIE’S CLEANING We do it right all the time! Residential Cleaning Year Round Excellent References within the PARKE and OCEAN PINES Community!! Nan Huff: 443-523-4595 19

Atlantic General Hospital Superior healthcare ... right here in our community.

• Full Service Imaging • Atlantic General Health System (410.641.1100) Atlantic General Hospital’s network of including breast MRI, and cutting edge more than 15 primary care provider and GE LightSpeed® Volume Computed specialist office and specialty centers Tomography CAT scans including the Regional Cancer Care Center. For a complete list of providers • Center for Joint Surgery visit atlanticgeneral.org/aghs. (410.641.9131) offering state-of-the-art procedures • Regional Cancer Care Center including Birmingham Hip Resurfacing, (410.629.6888) Zimmer Gender Knee care by board-certified specialists and Solutions, and long-wearing Verilast knee an experienced, dedicated team of replacements healthcare professionals

• Diabetes Outpatient Education • Women’s Diagnostic Center Program (410.641.9703) (410.641.9215) • Atlantic General Endoscopy same-day appointments for Hate the wait? Center (410.629.6800) mammograms, bone density screenings, ambulatory gastro-intestinal surgical and more services in privacy and comfort Get the real time anytime. • Atlantic General Urology No one likes having to wait for medical services. That’s why we’re the first • Atlantic General Bariatric Center (410.629.6277) (410.641.9568) providing surgical and non-surgical hospital in our region to offer up-to-the-minute wait time information for offering several surgical weight loss treatment for kidney stones, bladder options based on individual need and prostate cancers, enlarged prostate, our emergency room as well as for outpatient services such as X-rays, blood urinary tract infections, erectile testing and other lab services. • Wound Care Center® dysfunction, stress incontinence and (410.629.6863) other urologic conditions offering specialized care for those You’ll find current wait times for the ER and select outpatient medical difficult-to-heal wounds procedures displayed right on our web page. Not only that, you can now download a special AGH wait time app right to your mobile phone, so you’ll Main Hospital – 9733 Healthway Drive, Berlin always have accurate, real-time information – right at your fingertips! 410-641-1100 • www.atlanticgeneral.org

Since 1962

Licensed, Certified and Insured in MD & DE

Landscape Design, Installation and Maintenance Irrigation • Landscaping Lighting • Paver Patios We are happy to be continuing our service at Drainage Solutions Plant Nutrients & Pest Control THE PARKE ! Mulching, of course has com- Trained and Uniformed Professionals menced and is almost complete. Next up, Mow- 116 Broad Street, Berlin, MD ing! Again, if there are any other needs, please E-mail: [email protected] call the office. Thank you and we look forward Fax: 410-641-2188 warmer weather! www.themoorecompanies.com • 410-641-2177 Contact Information Clubhouse Hours

Phone: 410-208-4994 The Parke Clubhouse Monthly Activities Mon-Thurs 7:30-7:30 PM Open/Children Swim Fri 7:30-5:00 PM Fax: 410-208-4996 2017 Every Day 1-4 PM www.parkehappenings.com Sat 9:00-5:00 PM Sun 12:00-5:00 PM 1st Sunday 1st Monday 1st Tuesday 1st Wednesday 1st Thursday 1st Friday 1st Saturday 9:30 Water Aerobiics 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Water Aerobics, 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Yoga, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Better Bods -Beginners GH 9:00 Parke Singles, DeNovo’s 9:00 Java Hr, GH (Sep-May) 1:00 Canasta, CRD 11:00 ABS Exercise 6:00 Poker 9:00 Pilates, GH 9:30 Water Aerobics 1:00 Mah Jongg, Library 1:00 Mah Jongg, CRD 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 6:00 Poker, CRD 1:00 Bridge- Lib 5:30 Line Dancing- Bgnrs, GH 12:30 Pinochle, GH 6:00 Poker, GH 1:30 Billiards/8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Line Dancing, GH 1:00 Women 8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Canasta, Library 6:30 Bridge-Party, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Duplicate, GH

2nd Sunday 2nd Monday 2nd Tuesday 2nd Wednesday 2nd Thursday 2nd Friday 2nd Saturday 9:30 Water Aerobics 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Water Aerobics, 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Yoga, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Better Bods -Beginners - GH 9:00 Parke Singles, DeNovo’s 9:30 Water Aerobics 1:00 Canasta, CRD 11:00 ABS Exercise 11:00 Romeos, Lobby 9:00 Pilates, GH 1:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Mah Jongg, Library 1:00 Mah Jongg, CRD 6:00 Poker, 10:00 Zumba, GH 12:30 Pinochle, GH 6:00 Poker, CRD 1:00 Bridge- Lib 7:00 Men’s Billiards Group 5:30 Line Dancing- Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Women 8 Ball, Billiard 6:00 Poker, GH 1:30 Billiards/8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Line Dancing, GH 6:30 Canasta, Library 2:00 BUNCO, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Party, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Duplicate, GH

3rd Sunday 3rd Monday 3rd Tuesday 3rd Wednesday 3rd Thursday 3rd Friday 3rd Saturday 2:30 Wine Appreciation, Lib 9:30 Water Aerobics, 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Water Aerobics 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Yoga, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Better Bods –Beginners GH 9:00 Parke Singles, DeNovo’s 9:30 Water Aerobics 1:00 Canasta, CRD 11:00 ABS Exercise 6:00 Poker 9:00 Pilates, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Mah Jongg, Library 1:00 Mah Jongg, CRD 7:00 Men’s Billiards Group 10:00 Zumba, GH 12:30 Pinochle, GH 6:00 Poker, CRD 1:00 Bridge- Lib 5:30 Line Dancing- Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Women 8 Ball, Billiard 6:00 Poker, GH 1:30 Billiards/8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Line Dancing, GH 6:30 Canasta, Library 6:30 Bridge-Party, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Duplicate, GH

4th Sunday 4th Monday 4th Tuesday 4th Wednesday 4th Thursday 4th Friday 4th Saturday 9:30 Water Aerobics, 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Water Aerobics, - 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Yoga, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Better Bods-Beginners GH 9:00 Parke Singles, DeNovo’s 9:30 Water Aerobics 1:00 Canasta, CRD 10:00 Memoirs 6:00 Poker 9:00 Pilates, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Mah Jongg, Library 11:00 ABS Exercise 7:00 Men’s Billiards Group 10:00 Zumba, GH 12:30 Pinochle Tournamnt, GH 6:00 Poker, CRD 1:00 Mah Jongg, CRD 2:00 Book Club, CRD 1:00 Women 8 Ball, Billiard 6:00 Poker, GH 1:00 Bridge 5:30 Line Dancing- Bgnrs, GH 6:30 Canasta, Library 1:30 Billiards/8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Line Dancing, GH 6:30 Bridge-Party, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Duplicate, GH

5th Sunday 5th Monday 5th Tuesday 5th Wednesday 5th Thursday 5th Friday 5th Saturday 9:30 Water Aerobics, Pool 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:30 Water Aerobics, Pool 7:30 Parke Walkers 9:00 Yoga, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 10:00 Zumba, GH 11:00 Body Pump, GH 9:00 Parke Singles, DeNovo’s 9:30 Water Aerobics 1:00 Canasta, CRD 11:00 ABS Exercise 6:00 Poker 9:00 Pilates, GH 11:00 Better Bods 4 Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Mah Jongg, Library 1:00 Mah Jongg, CRD 7:00 Men’s Billiards Group 10:00 Zumba, GH 12:30 Pinochle, GH 6:00 Poker, CRD 1:00 Bridge 5:30 Line Dancing- Bgnrs, GH 1:00 Women 8 Ball, Billiard 6:00 Poker, GH 1:30 Billiards/8 Ball, Billiard 6:30 Line Dancing, GH 6:30 Canasta, Library 6:30 Bridge-Party, CRD 6:30 Bridge-Duplicate, GH

Dates and Times Subject to Change (For most up-to-date calendar, go to parkehappenings.com) 2/8/17