Charlotte Gainsbourg Is Between 6 and 7Pm
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ELLE Shocking PLAY Photographs by yet shy, AMY provocative TROOST W o r d s b y yet fragile, LOTTE JEFFS brutally ‘I’m only myself, and for me, that that me, for and honest yet It’s 34 degrees in Paris, and Boulevard Saint- Germain is heavy with the heat. Office workers hud- fiercely dle in patches of shade, smoking, and outside Café de Floré, a chichi lady frantically wafts a fan rather than remove her Chanel tweed jacket. I’ve never protective, seen this city so slow and sweaty. But inside Hotel Montalembert, the air-con is on ice mode and Char- lotte Gainsbourg wears black leather Saint Laurent Charlote trousers and a long-sleeved black silk shirt. Her dis- creetly bare feet are the only sign it’s unseasonably Gainsbourg hot and she’s not entirely untouched by the world outside. Though, as I later come to learn, Charlotte doesn’t care much for staying in sync with ‘the world is crushingly outside’, having spent most of her exceptional life at one remove; coolly distant yet piercingly engaged, riddled with self-doubt yet one of the bravest perform- aware ers of our time. But then, the daughter of Serge Gains- bourg and Jane Birkin was never going to be one of us. Her late father was a notorious actor, musician of all her and enfant terrible. Her mother, now in her seventies, was a famous model, actor and singer in the Sixties contradictions. and Seventies. Even if Charlotte wanted to be ‘nor- mal’, the people who so idolised her iconic parents wouldn’t let her. And that, she explains, is just a cross is just not enough’ she’s had to bear. But after years ? ‘I’ve always been very ashamed of my looks compared to my mother, melancholy and even a jaunty disco number are eclectic but imbued with and then the talent…’, she tells me, speaking softly – a quirk she’s inherited a spirit that’s hard to pin down. And Charlotte’s voice! Instantly, you’re of personal from Jane Birkin, whose famously breathy whispers on the 1969 record transported to the Marais, or strolling the Left Bank with a handsome intel- Je t’aime… moi non plus have been the soundtrack to many an amorous lectual on your arm – it’s as French as a baguette in a beret. As Charlotte struggle, has moment. ‘My life is always in reference to them [her parents] when I’m in describes it: ‘The idea of having a small voice and a strong, sort of brutal Paris,’ she says. Charlotte now lives in New York with her husband Yvan At- sound. That was appealing.’ And having the music out in the world is, she tal, a film director, and their three children, and finds it easier to be herself tells me, cathartic, despite the process being arduous. ‘The album was she finally there, relatively free from the shadow of her parents’ notoriety. ‘I feel bad ready a year ago, but I didn’t like the treatment of my voice. I think I was saying how liberating it is not to be in Paris, but every day I’m here, some- being picky because I wasn’t ready for it to come out.’ one will say something about my family. But when I arrived in New York, I Charlotte’s accent when speaking English is clipped and old fash- found some… was so surprised that people would come to me referencing the Lars von ioned – think Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She doesn’t sound Trier films [she famously starred in Melancholia and, in a part that involved ‘foreign’ until she asks, ‘How do you say that word in English?’, which her appearing to cut off her own clitoris, Nymphomaniac]. It was only me.’ takes me slightly aback. Charlotte tells me that, for years, she refused to talk about her family She’s humble to the point of self-deprecating about her own musical because the narrative of her early life – her parents’ very public affair, her talents. ‘When my father died, I was really compelled to do something father’s battle with drink, his controversial song and music video Lemon In- in music, but I didn’t feel I was a singer and I didn’t feel I was a writer, so cest, which involved her, aged 13, lying on a bed semi-naked with a shirt- I wanted to work with other people.’ (Beck, Air and Jarvis Cocker are all less Serge – belonged to everyone but her. ‘The upbringing was something previous collaborators.) I kept for myself, as if it was the last treasure I could claim,’ she says. With Rest, Charlotte has finally found her own way to write and ex- ness She is quite still as she talks, except for her hands, which tremble with press herself. But how? ‘With sincerity. It was my only tool. I was able to nervous energy. Since moving to the US three years ago, she says, ‘Sud- be honest and then it was a question of not being ashamed of what I had denly, I felt that I wanted to share things… even talking about my own pri- to say. Even depicting my father’s death. Nothing made me embarrassed. vate life. I feel so much more relaxed.’ I wasn’t shy about the crudeness of words. I didn’t feel I had to hide myself.’ On her new album, Rest, she opens up about her family and personal In 2013, while she was writing this album, Charlotte’s half sister struggles in her work for the first time. The 11 tracks are a triumph – thanks, Kate, daughter of Jane Birkin and composer John Barry, died suddenly in she suggests, to producer Sebastian Akchoté-Bozovic, the man behind Paris. Charlotte says: ‘No one re- French label Ed Banger. String-emblazoned electro-pop, Nouvelle Vague ally knows what happened and light in dark ELLE 111 NOV ELLE PLAY there are still so many questions.’ Kate’s death weighs mightily on Rest, and songs talk It’s time to lighten the mood, so I ask if she’s a morning directly to what Charlotte describes as the raw ugliness of grieving. ‘The loss was so trau- person. I can guess the answer. matic. So violent. So unexpected. It’s hard when there are so many questions and you try ‘No. I hate mornings. Even if I wake up at seven, I won’t to put the puzzle together. I still feel angry; I still feel that it’s unfair.’ She says she coped be able to function before 11 or 12.’ For the record, ‘peak’ with this loss very differently to when Serge died of a heart attack. ‘My father, it crushed Charlotte Gainsbourg is between 6 and 7pm. me. I was not myself for years – until I had a baby, and then I was looking towards life a She sounds so fabulously, insolently French as she tells little more. It was painful.’ Particularly so because she was still figuring herself out at that me this. So unlike her British and American actor peers, who time, or, as she puts it, ‘I wasn’t someone yet; I wasn’t modelled yet; I was 19.’ power through sunrise spinning classes, drinking green There’s a real sense that Charlotte has finally found her voice, albeit later in life than juice and posting a #inspo Instagram, all before 9am. she might have liked, but something in her still feels not quite connected – like two pieces She’s spent enough time in LA, though, to have dabbled in of a puzzle that look like they should fit together, but no matter what way round you try such lifestyle trends: ‘The gluten-free and the lactose-free them, they don’t. I can’t help but ask, ‘Are you happy?’ – I’ve done that. But now I’ve just gone back to being my There’s silence, and for the first time in an hour I’m broken out of the spell of her cap- own Parisian self!’ In France, she says, ‘It’s so natural not to tivating dialogue and am suddenly aware of the clattering of cutlery, as waiters set up do the gym. And if you do exercising, don’t say anything!’ tables for dinner in the hotel restaurant that lies just behind the door. When I ask Charlotte how she feels about getting old- er, her response is nothing if not brutally honest. ‘No’, she says simply, ‘I don’t enjoy [getting older]. I find it hard. Only now have I understood certain things and I wish I was 30 again. I wish I could make the most of my youth. Because I like effort. I like being being I like effort. Ilike ‘I like being pushed. now, I think I won’t have the parts that I want. The age is a problem. You don’t get that you’re at your peak in your She seems disarmed momentarily, and there’s a sharp intake of thirties, not when you’re 46. I don’t feel my age… so it’s breath before, tentatively, she says, ‘Um, I enjoy life more.’ Another long problematic.’ pause. ‘I can’t say I’m happy, no. I have moments.’ Finding her rhythm, she I suggest that music is an outlet that is less age-ob- continues: ‘Before, there was always a question about being alive or not. sessed? ‘Maybe, but I also have a feeling that music is for Once my father died, I wondered: “Do I want to be here or not?”, and the young people.