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Relationships and the Seven-Year Itch by Amy Soriano Humanities Agora 2019 Popular Article: Second Place

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Relationships and the Seven-Year Itch by Amy Soriano Humanities Agora 2019 Popular Article: Second Place Relationships and the Seven-Year Itch by Amy Soriano Humanities Agora 2019 Popular Article: Second Place Although I was not the typical 20-year old “bride” who thought it was time to get hitched, I thought I was entering into a lifelong romantic journey with the love of my life. I thought I knew all about a long term relationship, after all I had found my knight in shining armor who had vowed to be mine forever. Ha! Was I wrong! Now that I am slightly older –okay, quite a bit older—I learned the hard way. And boy, did I learn. I had thought I was totally absorbed in my lover and one day along came this wild, bearded fellow who swept me away. Now, you may be wondering, were these two different people? No, he was just one person, but he had changed, or so I thought he did. I later came to realize that I was not seeing him for who he truly was. I was blinded by my idea of how he should be, and this idea of how love was supposed to be played out like in the movies where the boy and girl meet each other by happenstance, they fall in love, get married, have children and everything is just wonderful. Wrong! What the movies fail to tell you is about the often ugly side of relationships, the fighting, arguing, stress and the things that cause disagreements. They also forget to mention that there is a point in a relationship where people are so involved in their routines that they forget the other person has wants and needs. They fail to tell you how to communicate when you reach those points of not being head over heels in love with your partner. Seven-year itch? Is it just an itch? Or is it a metaphor to describe the feelings that you get when the “seven-year itch” comes about? I’ll try to explain what it is and how it can be recognized and dealt with accordingly. The seven-year itch is a point in any relationship when two people have fallen into, or out of, a routine with each other, and the relationship lacks excitement. The relationship may not have that lovely, romantic, butterflies-in-the-stomach type feel anymore, and that’s fine. The itch causes you to feel like you are missing something in your life, and you try to find ways to either permanently stop the itch, or relieve it temporarily. Sometimes people get so caught up in the routine of their everyday lives, their own feelings, wants and needs that they tend to forget about their partner’s needs. When people forget certain things about their partner, it may seem like the other person is slipping away, or turning into someone they may not recognize anymore, which means they may see a side of them they may not have noticed prior to this lull in the relationship. Once a relationship has reached this point it is usually a time of contention. There is a lot of arguing, fighting, and a defensive hostile posturing. Don’t worry, this can be worked through, for the most part. As long as both parties are willing to put their differences aside and talk about their problems the couple can start to repair their relationship. Even after 11 years with my partner, there came a time when I took offense to everything he said to me. He would tell me that he thought my decision about going out somewhere was a bad idea, and he would leave it at that. Now, to be clear, I’m a grown woman and can come and go as I please, but this certain place I wanted to go was known to have a bad reputation in a pretty rowdy part of town, and it was almost dark, so his simple remark was “I don’t want you going there, it’s not a good idea.” Well, my younger self would have complained that he was trying to control me, and did not want me to do things that made me happy. Little did I know then that he was, in his own unique way, looking out for my safety. My rebellious independence-loving self wanted to snap, yell and curse at him for not letting me do what I wanted. Looking back, I realize that was a very childish thought and that is not how an adult should behave. There isn’t a guideline or rule book on how to be an adult, but I’m pretty sure not acting like a child is an implied suggestion when you are trying to make a relationship work. Can you survive it? The answer is yes, you can survive it! A lot of people have. I have survived it. The key is mainly recognizing the lack of communication in the relationship, and both partners making an effort to reconnect with each other and open up that line of communication. My partner and I had our seven-year itch early in our relationship. Having worked through it we understood that we had to be completely open and honest with each other if we wanted to make our relationship work, regardless if what we said hurt the other person or not. The second we felt that we had to hide our feelings from each other, then we were not being honest, and if we couldn’t be honest then we couldn’t effectively work through our problems together. Since then we say things that upset each other sometimes when we’re being open and honest, but we don’t get offended by it either, because what we are hearing is how the other person is feeling. We take what we hear, process it, talk about it and eventually we’re both happy with the results, but most importantly without compromising who we are as individuals. We still have times when we don’t talk as much, or communicate the way we would like to, but he’s usually busy working, I have school during the week and I take care of our children too. We both have pretty busy lives, but we still make an effort to make time for each other. One night a week we have a date night so we can have our time together. We hangout, talk, and catch up. There are times when something comes up and we don’t get that time with each other, which is fine, we have to move past it and just look forward to the next time we get our date night. Can it recur? The seven-year itch can happen more than once in a relationship. It will be hard the first time, but if you survive it maybe the second time won’t happen, or it won’t be so bad. Just recognize the signs and make the effort to fix the problems, or if the problems are too great know that it is okay to end the relationship. If you survive it and you end up settling back into a routine just know it is okay too, but try to be aware and include your partner in things that you want to do. Make time for each other. If you have conflicting schedules then you have to make time to communicate with each other so you can sit down and talk and keep your connection strong. You don’t have to be with each other all the time that can also put a damper on the relationship. Find your balance. Find out what your partner wants from you and what you want from your partner. Talk about your expectations for each other, but don’t give up who you are as a person. Don’t lose yourself trying to make someone else happy. Be happy, love yourself, and the rest will fall in line. Should You Buy the Nintendo Switch? By Nathaniel Evans Popular Article: Honorable Mention I have been playing Nintendo consoles since I was 6 years old. I first played games offered by Nintendo Game Boy Advance and, as the years went by, I moved on to the Nintendo Ds then the Nintendo Wii. I own every single console ever made by Nintendo, except the Nintendo Wii-U because it would have been redundant. Having been a huge Nintendo fan my entire life and based on my experience with the consoles, I can attest that the Nintendo Switch is well worth the money and just may be the best console that they have ever produced. If you have not bought a Nintendo Switch yet, allow me to share with you why I did. The Nintendo Switch is not any run of the mill console. Yes, it outputs video of your games to a television just like any other console, but it has one added benefit, portability. Haven’t you ever wanted to just take your PS4 or Xbox One anywhere at any time, but cannot because it must be tethered to a television at all times? Well, the Switch has you backed up since the Switch not only outputs to a television screen, but it is also a tablet that allows you to play video games anywhere and at any time on the built in screen. Ever notice how creative Nintendo’s hardware is compared to the competition? They were one of the first to have an analog stick fully integrated into a console in the 90s on the Nintendo 64, they were the first to fully integrate motion control gaming into a console with the Wii, and in the recent past, they were the first to make a console that is fully portable and still have it pack a graphics punch.
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