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BLOOMSDAY: DUBLIN, 16 JUNE 1904 A stage adaptation of James Joyce’s Ulysses __________________________ A full-length play By Lary Opitz Contact: Lary Opitz 20 Clark Street Saratoga Springs, NY 12866 518-428-2707 lopitz@skidmore,edu © Lary Opitz 1994 CHARACTER LIST Actor 1 Narrator; Bella/Bello Cohen Actor 2 Stephen Dedalus Actor 3 Leopold Bloom Actor 4 Molly Bloom Actor 5 Blazes Boylan Actor 6 Malachi (Buck) Mulligan; John Menton; The Citizen; Dr. Mulligan; Diner Actor 7 Haines; Martin Cunningham; Thomas William Lyster; Private Compton Actor 8 Cyril Sargent; Mourner; Blind Stripling; Boy; Sailor; Bob Doran; Clerk Actor 9 Garret Deasy; Simon Dedalus; J. J. O’Molloy; Diner; John Eglinton; Dr. Dixon Actor 10 Bantam Lyons; Jack Power; Myles Crawford; Lenehan; Private Harry Carr Actor 11 Girl; Dilly Dedalus; Mina Kennedy; Gerty MacDowell Actor 12 Father Coffey; Joe Hynes; Davy Byrne; Lamppost Farrell; Lynch; The Watch; Archbishop Actor 13 Maggy Dedalus; Mourner; Lydia Douce; Zoe Higgins Actor 14 Miss Dunne, Mourner; Diner; Bawd; Mrs. Bellingham; May Dedalus Actor 15 Street Urchin; Mourner; Best; Shop Girl; Cissy Caffrey; Kitty Actor 16 Mrs. Sheehy; Edy Boardman; Mourner; Diner Mrs. Yelverton Barry; Florry Actor 17 Josie Breen; Mourner; Mrs. McGuinness; Nurse Callan; Mrs. Mervin Talboys Actor 18 Katey Dedalus; Mary Driscoll; Mourner 2 SCENE 1: TELEMACHUS A large rounded playing area. Curving staircases, each with a landing, on either side of the stage meet on an upper level upstage bridge above a large center opening. Entrances downstage left and right, under the bridge, and left and right on the upper level. A projection screen for titles and images hangs above the bridge. Under the right stairs is a countertop. Furniture is brought on below the bridge. PROJECTED TITLE: TELEMACHUS. Thursday, the sixteenth of June, 1904. The Martello Tower in Sandycove on Dublin Bay. 8:00 in the morning MULLIGAN and DEDALUS are atop the bridge. NARRATOR Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned: MULLIGAN Introibo ad altare Dei. Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful Jesuit. For this, O dearly beloved, is the genuine Christine: body and soul and blood and wounds. Slow music, please. Silence all. DEDALUS Tell me, Mulligan… MULLIGAN Yes, my love? DEDALUS How long is Haines going to stay in this tower? MULLIGAN God, isn’t he dreadful? These bloody English. Bursting with money and indigestion. Because he comes from Oxford. You know, Dedalus, he can’t make you out. 3 DEDALUS He was raving all night about a black panther waving his gun. MULLIGAN A woeful lunatic. Were you in a funk? DEDALUS I was. You saved men from drowning. I’m not a hero, however. If he stays here I am off. MULLIGAN (looking for handkerchief) Scutter! Lend us a loan of your noserag to wipe my razor. The bard’s noserag. A new art color for our Irish poets: snotgreen. You can almost taste it, can’t you? The snotgreen sea. The scrotumtightening sea. She is our great sweet mother. The aunt thinks you killed your mother. That’s why she won’t let me have anything to do with you. DEDALUS Someone killed her. MULLIGAN You could have knelt down, damn it, Kinch, when your dying mother asked you. Think of your mother begging you with her last breath to kneel down and pray for her. There is something sinister in you. Even a jesuit education doesn’t allow for it. DEDALUS (voiceover) A bowl of white china had stood beside her deathbed holding the green sluggish bile which she had torn up from her rotting liver by fits of loud groaning vomiting. MULLIGAN Ah, poor dogsbody. I must give you a shirt and a few noserags. How are the secondhand breeches? I have a lovely pair with a hair stripe, grey. You’ll look spiffing in them. DEDALUS Thanks. I can’t wear them if they are grey. MULLIGAN He can’t wear them. Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can’t wear grey trousers. Look at yourself, you dreadful bard. What have you against me now? Cough it up. DEDALUS Do you remember the first day I went to your house after my mother’s death? 4 MULLIGAN What? Where? I can’t remember anything. I remember only ideas and sensations. Why? What happened in the name of God? DEDALUS You were making tea and I went across the landing to get more hot water. Your aunt asked you who was in your room. MULLIGAN Yes? What did I say? I forget. DEDALUS You said, “Oh, it’s only Dedalus whose mother is beastly dead.” MULLIGAN Did I say that? Well? What harm is that? And what is death, you mother’s or your’s or my own. You saw only your mother die. I see them pop off every day in the dissecting room. It’s a beastly thing and nothing else. You wouldn’t kneel down to pray for your mother and yet you sulk with me. Absurd! I suppose I did say it. I didn’t mean to offend the memory of your mother. DEDALUS I am not thinking of the offense to my mother. MULLIGAN Of what, then? DEDALUS Of the offense to me. MULLIGAN Oh, an impossible person! HAINES Are you up there, Mulligan? MULLIGAN I’m coming. Don’t mope over it all day. Give up the moody brooding. Haines wants his breakfast. MULLIGAN goes down the stairs. 5 DEDALUS She wanted to hear my music. She was crying in her wretched bed. Her eyes on me to strike me down. Liliata rutilantium te confessorum turma circumdet... the prayer for the dying. No mother. Let me be and let me live! MULLIGAN and HAINES appear in inside the tower. There is a table and two chairs. DEDALUS joins them from above. MULLIGAN Kinch ahoy! Dedalus, come down like a good mosey. Breakfast is ready. (to DEDALUS) Touch him for a guinea, will you? He’s stinking with money. DEDALUS I get paid this morning. MULLIGAN From the school? How much, four quid? We’ll have a glorious drunk to astonish the druidy druids. Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts. Where’s the sugar? Oh, jay. There’s no milk. DEDALUS We can drink it black. There’s a lemon in the locker. MULLIGAN Oh, damn you and your Paris fads. (pouring) In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. HAINES I say, Mulligan, you do make strong tea, don’t you? MULLIGAN “When I makes tay I makes tay,” as old mother Grogan said. “And when I makes water I makes water.” “Begob, ma’am,” says Mrs. Chahill, “God send you don’t make them both in the same pot!” That’s folk art. Put that in your book instead of Stephen’s ravings. Seriously, Dedalus. I’m stony broke. Hurry out to your school and bring us back some money. Today the bards must drink. Ireland expects that every man this day will do his duty. HAINES I have to visit your national library. MULLIGAN We must swim today. Is this the day for your monthly wash, Kinch? The unclean bard makes a point of washing once a month. 6 DEDALUS All Ireland is washed by the gulf stream. HAINES I intend to make a collection of your sayings if you’ll let me. DEDALUS Would I make money by it? HAINES I don’t know, I’m sure. MULLIGAN Wait till you hear his theory on Hamlet, Haines. HAINES Oh? MULLIGAN It’s quite simple. He proves by algebra that Hamlet’s grandson is Shakespeare’s grandfather and that he himself is the ghost of his own father. HAINES I read a theological interpretation of Hamlet somewhere. The Father and the Son idea. The Son striving to be atoned with the Father. MULLIGAN (sings to the tune of Sweet Betsy of Pike) I’m the queerest young fellow that ever you heard. My mother’s a Jew, my father’s a bird. With Joseph the joiner I cannot agree, So here’s to disciples and Calvary. If anyone thinks that I amn’t divine He’ll get no free drinks when I’m making the wine But have to drink water and wish it were plain That I make when the wine become water again. HAINES We oughtn’t to laugh, I suppose. He’s rather blasphemous. Still his gaiety takes the harm out of it somehow, doesn’t it? What did he call it? DEDALUS The Ballad of Joking Jesus. 7 HAINES You’re not a believer, are you? I mean in the narrow sense of the word. Creation from nothing and miracles and a personal God. I couldn’t stomach the idea of a personal God. You don’t stand for that, I suppose? DEDALUS You behold in me a horrible example of free thought. HAINES So you are your own master? DEDALUS I am the servant of two masters, and English and an Italian. The imperial British state and the holy Roman Catholic and apostolic church. HAINES I can quite understand. We feel in England that we have treated you Irish rather unfairly. It seems history is to blame. Of course, I’m a Britisher and I feel as one. I don’t want to see my country fall into the hands of the Jews. That’s our national problem, I’m afraid.
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