- 1 - SING-A-LONG MEDLEY (PART 2) But square-cut or pear-shaped, These rocks don't lose their shape. I'd like to teach the world to sing Diamonds are a girl's best friend. In perfect harmony I'd like to hold it in my arms - o - And keep it company Ma he's making eyes at me. Ma he's awful nice to me. I'd like to see the world for once Ma, he's almost breaking my heart. All standing hand in hand I'm beside him, mercy, let his And hear them echo through the conscience guide him. hills Ma he wants to marry me: be my Ah, peace throughout the land honey bee. - o - Ev'ry minute he gets bolder, Now he's leaning on my shoulder, Happy days are here again! Ma he's kissing me. The skies above are clear again. Let us sing a song of cheer again - o - Happy days are here again! Me and my girl, meant for each Altogether shout it now! other, There's no one who can doubt it Sent for each other, and liking it now, so. So let's tell the world about it Me and my girl, ‘sno use now pretending, Happy days are here again! We knew the ending a long time ago. Your cares and troubles are gone, Some little church, with a big There'll be no more from now on. steeple, Happy days are here again, Just a few people that both of us The skies above are clear again; know Let us sing a song of cheer again And we'll have love, laughter, Happy days are here again. Be happy every after, - o - Me and my girl.

A kiss on the hand may be quite - o - continental, Where did you get that hat? But diamonds are a girl's best Where did you get that tile? friend. Isn't it a nobby one, and just the A kiss may be grand but it won't proper style? pay the rental I should like to have one just the On your humble flat same as that! Or help you at the automat. Where'er I go they shout, “Hello! Men grow cold as girls grow old, Where did you get that hat?” And we all lose our charms in the end. - o - - 2 - If you knew Susie like I know But when you're cryin', you bring Susie on the rain Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl! So stop your sighin', be happy There's none so classy as this again. fair lassie Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're Oh! Oh! Holy moses what a chassis! smilin' The whole world smiles with you We went riding she didn't talk From the country I'm the one that - o - had to walk! Bring me sunshine in your smile, If you knew Susie like I know Bring me laughter all the while, Susie In this world where we live there Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl! should be more happiness, - o - So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow, You are my sunshine, Make me happy through the years. My only sunshine, Never bring me any tears, You make me happy, Let your arms be as warm as the When skies are grey, sun from up above, You'll never know dear, Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, How much I love you, bring me love, sweet love. Please don't take my sunshine Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, away. bring me love!

The other night dear As I lay dreaming, I dreamt that you were by my side. It's a bit of a ruin that Cromwell Came disillusion when I awoke knocked about a bit dear, One that Oliver Cromwell knocked You were gone and then I cried. about a bit In the gay old days there used to [REPEAT CHORUS] be some doings - o - No wonder that the poor old Abbey went to ruins When you're smilin’, Those who've studied history sing When you're smilin’ and shout of it The whole world smiles with you. And you can bet your life that When you're laughin', isn't a doubt of it When you're laughin' Outside the Cromwell Arms last The sun comes shinin' through. Saturday night I was one of the ruins Cromwell knocked about a bit.

- 3 - And the dawn comes up like thunder out of China ‘cross the ON THE ROAD TO MADALAY bay.

Bag den grå moulmein-pagode Med sit blik mod havets blå Sidder der en Burma-pige, AUX CHAMPS-ELYSEES Og kun mig hun tænker på Hvisker palmesuset ikke, Je m'baladais sur l'avenue le Synger templets klokker ej: cœur ouvert à l'inconnu Kom igen, soldat fra England, J'avais envie de dire bonjour à Kom igen til Mandalay! n'importe qui N'importe qui et ce fut toi, je t'ai Kom igen til Mandalay, dit n'importe quoi Ad flotillens gamle vej, Il suffisait de te parler, pour Husker du pagajens dunken fra t'apprivoiser Rangoon til Mandalay? Oh, den vej til Manadalay, Aux Champs-Elysées, aux Champs- Fuld af flyvefisk i leg, Elysées Og hvor solen brød som torden Au soleil, sous la pluie, à midi ou frem bag Kina-bugtens kaj! à minuit Il y a tout ce que vous voulez - o - aux Champs-Elysées

By the old Moulmein Pagoda - o - Lookin’ eastward to the sea There's a Burma girl a settin’ Walking down the street today and I know she thinks of me I saw a girl across the way For the wind is in the palm trees I asked her where she's going and the temple bells, they say And she said, "Come with me" “Come you back, you British She took me down this avenue soldier Where I met the folks she knew Come you back to Mandalay And there we stopped and chatted Come you back to Mandalay” And passed the time away

Come you back to Mandalay Down Waterloo Road Where the old flotilla lay Down Waterloo Road Can't you hear their paddles Friday night Saturday chunkin' from Rangoon to Any night or any day Mandalay? You'll find what you're looking On the road to Mandalay where the for flyin' fishes play Down Waterloo Road

- 4 - SITCOM THEME MEDLEY And do the holiday rock, The holiday rock, Meet the gang 'cause the boys are Hi-de-hi-de-hi, ho-de-ho-de-ho, here - Go go go do the holiday rock. The boys to entertain you. With music and laughter to help I said Hi-de-Hi (Ho-de-Ho) you on your way - I said Hi-de-Hi (Ho-de-Ho) To raising the rafters with a hey I said Hi-de-Hi (Ho-de-Ho) hey-hey! I said Hi-de-Hi (Ho-de-Ho) With songs and sketches and jokes Hi-de-hi-de-hi, ho-de-ho-de-ho, old and new - Go go go do the holiday rock. With us about you won't feel blue! So meet the gang 'cause the boys - o - are here - What'll I do when you are far The boys to entertain you! away and I am blue? What'll I B-O, B-O-Y-S - boys to entertain you! do? - o - What'll I do when I am wond'ring who is kissing you? What'll I Who do you think you are kidding do? Mister Hitler, What'll I do with just a If you think we're on the run? photograph We are the boys who will stop To tell my troubles to? your little game, When I'm alone with only dreams We are the boys who will make you of you think again. That won't come true, What'll I do? 'Cause who do you think you are kidding Mister Hitler, - o - If you think old England's done? The sound of hoof beats 'cross the glade, Mister Brown goes off to town on Good folk, lock up your son and the eight twenty-one, daughter. But he comes home each evening Beware the deadly flashing blade, and he's ready with his gun. Unless you want to end up shorter. So who do you think you are kidding Mister Hitler, Black Adder, Black Adder! If you think old England's done? He rides a pitch black steed. - o - Black Adder, Black Adder! He's very bad indeed. If you’ve got the blues, I’ve got some news, - o - Join in the fun in your blue suede shoes, A

- 5 - They say I might as well face the Stick a pony in me pocket truth. I'll fetch the suitcase from the That I'm just too long in the van tooth. Cause if you want the best 'uns I've started to deteriorate And you don't ask questions And now I've passed my own sell-by Then brother I'm your man date. Where it all comes from is a Oh I am no spring chicken it's mystery true. It's like the changing of the I have to pop my teeth in to chew. seasons snd the tides of the And my old knees have started to sea knock. But here’s the one thats driving I've just got too many miles on the me berserk: clock. Why do only fools and horses work? So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in La la la la la - la la la la la my ways. La la la la la - la la la la la It's true my body as seen better days. We've got some half priced cracked But give me half a chance and I ice can still misbehave. And miles and miles of carpet One foot in the grave. tiles TV's, deep freeze and David Bowie - o - LP's Pool games, gold chains, wosnames It's cold outside, there's no kind and at a push of atmosphere, Some Trevor Francis track-suits I'm all alone, more or less. From a mush in Shepherds Bush, Let me fly, far away from here, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Fun, fun, fun, Bush, Bush, Bush In the sun, sun, sun. No income tax, no VAT I want to lie, shipwrecked and No money back, no guarantee comatose, Black or white, rich or broke Drinking fresh, mango juice, We'll cut prices at a stroke Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes, God bless Hooky Street Fun, fun, fun, Viva Hooky Street In the sun, sun, sun, Long live Hooky Street - o - C'est magnifique Hooky Street Magnifique Hooky Street

- 6 - COCKNEY MUSICALS MEDLEY Oh, wouldn't it be loverly? Loverly! Loverly! Loverly! Loverly! Consider yourself at home, Consider yourself one of the - o - family We've taken to you so strong. All lined up in a wedding group It's clear we're going to get along. 'Ere we are for a photograph Consider yourself well in, All dressed up in a morning suit Consider yourself part of the and trying not to laugh furniture Since the early caveman in his There isn't a lot to spare; fur Who cares? What ever we've got we Took a trip to Gretna Green share! There's always been a photographer If it should chance to be we To record the happy scene. should see some harder days, Empty larder days, why grouse? Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what Always chance we'll meet somebody a picture to foot the bill, What a picture, what a photograph Then the drinks are on the house! Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke Consider yourself our mate, Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke We don't want to have no fuss. Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet For after some consideration we Bangin' on the big bass drum can state: What a picture, what a picture Consider yourself one of us. Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your fam'ly album - o - - o - All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air, I'm getting married in the morning With one enormous chair; Ding! Dong! The bells are gonna Oh, wouldn't it be loverly? chime. Lots of choc'late for me to eat; Pull out the stopper; Lots of coal makin' lot of heat; Let's have a whopper; Warm face, warm hands, warm feet, But get me to the church on time! Oh, wouldn't it be loverly? I’ve gotta be there in the morning Spruced up and looking in my Oh, so loverly sittin' abso- prime. bloomin'lutely still! Girls, come and kiss me; I would never budge 'til spring Show how you'll miss me, crept over the window sill. But get me to the church on time! Someone's head restin' on my knee, If I am dancing, roll up the floor! Warm and tender as he can be; If I am whistling, whewt me out Who takes good care of me,

- 7 - the door! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle For I'm getting married in the ay (x2) morning Ding! Dong! The bells are gonna Because I was afraid to speak chime. When I was just a lad, Kick up a rumpus, Me father gave me nose a tweak But don't lose the compass; And told me I was bad! And get me to the church, But then one day I learned a word Get me to the church, that saved me achin' nose, For gawd's sake, get me to the The biggest word you ever heard church on time! And this is how it goes:

- o - [REPEAT CHORUS]

They changed our local Palais - o - into a bowling alley and Fings ain't what they used t' be There's a little ditty There's Teds wiv drainpipe They're singing in the city trousers Especially when they've been on And Debs in coffee houses and the gin or the beer. Fings ain't what they used t' be If you've got the patience, Your own imaginations It used to be fun Dad an' old Mum Will tell you just exactly what paddling down Southend you want to hear... But now it ain't done Never mind chum Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Paris is where we spend our That's how it goes, outin's Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Grandma tries to shock us all Ev'ryone knows. Doing knees up rock 'n' roll They all suppose what they want Fings ain't wot they used t' be to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! - o - Mister Percy Snodgrass Supercalifragilisticexpiali- Would often have the odd glass, docious! But never when he thought Even though the sound of it anybody could see. Is something quite atrocious, Secretly he'd buy it, If you say it loud enough And drink it on the quiet, You'll always sound precocious, And dream he was an Earl wiv a Supercalifragilisticexpiali- girl on each knee! docious! [REPEAT CHORUS]

- 8 -