Bulk Rate U.S. Postage PAID Permit No.320 Newark, DE.

19711 ON THE Tuition Abolished OUTSIDE Trombone: Students To Get Money's Worth By NORM dePLUME its meeting for lack of time while a entertainment, and it gives that Diver fellow much more stuff to program. The University announced it is motion to reconsider a resolution that Alphabet Goop would have sent an earlier motion to Y'wanna coke? Thirty cents, please." abolishing all tuition charges in favor of A check with Back Zowen found the "more progressive forms of funding," form an ad-hoc committee for further CAISA. IVC, CRAB and AAUP investigation on whether to write a letter English Department Chariman ordering President E.A. Trombone announced at massive quantities of movies and beer. merge ...... 2 a dinner with the residents of Gilbert E. in support, opposition, or neutrality, or any combination, in regard to the "I think we can meet our objective of "We believe, that is, we've checked overspending even our new, expanded this out and have found no evidence to problem, was under question. The group did, however, anonymously vote to budget. Can you hold?" Open Party the contrary, that we are the first Honcho of Housing and Motel Life university in a non-communist country appropriate $1,300 to send several members on a fact-finding tour to look Stuart Sharkmeat said, "I'd be lying 1f I shindig on to ~otally do away with tuition," said we weren't delighted. We figure we Trombone said, opening the umbrella on for other tuition-free universities. rom bone's lawn ...... 8 Student reaction was apathetically can cram thousands to a room. With the his hot dog stand. new Mall on the Mall (see related story "Don't worry," he said with a slight positive. Most, like Warren Peace (AS DC), felt "this should leave me lots more below l the students will never be in their chuckle, "we don't intend to lose a cent. rooms. Listen, you want a good group We have other ways of making up the money for beer. It was hard to drink beer in classes anyway." One student at rate on T -shirts?" difference. Fifty cents, please," he University Hospital main melon C. continued, waving at a customer. "I the UDZZ meeting began screaming, "I want to learn," but he was given a Radium Huggim said, ''The $800 health suggest you talk to the head of our Vice fee should be a great boon to our budget. President for the Encroachment of.. .oh, transfusion of beer-drenched ringing off the Lame Hall blood and was quickly Now we can treat people with Dr. Worthless. He can tell you more temperatures as low as 101 degrees." r ...... ·...... 14 about it. It's a dime more with kraut I'm subdued. Faculty groups also reacted decisively The small minority of Newark life not afraid, my good man." connected with the university was not Asked how the university intended to to the announcement. The AAPU protested the action with a strong letter, surprised. ''I've seen this coming ever offset the $20 million drop in revenues, since the '60's," commented Police Chief Trombone replied, "We'll just raise the and the Faculty Senate is expected to Bored Student vote on it at next year's meeting. But Willies Briarpatch. "Wanna see some prices on a few of our other services. For pictures?" instance, the health fee is now $800 a Provest L. Campbell Soup said, Trustees Appoint 2 "Faculty will adjust to a truly "We'll just raise their electric rates semester; we'll get it back somehow. and go our merry way," added Mayor Thank you, sir." capitalistic system just fine. Even now, Kindergarteners ...... 17 faculty are coming up with great new Reddy Kilowatt. Reaction from student groups was Alderman Blue Funk said, "We'll be swift and decisive. The UDZZ suspended courses, and they'll just charge at the door. We feel it's a dynamite form of (Contmued Ol"t Page 3' Mall .on Mall Fills Campus Void bee~ rese.rved for . normal have can't find the way out. By ILICK PUMPERNICKY u n 1 v e r s 1t y bus 1 n e s s : This way, we come to them, •· Students will no longer class~oom instruction, said the Yap manager, have to truck all the way to acco:dmg .to Dean ?f Student stapling together a pair of Main Street to grab that new Affa1rs Alhsay R. L1es. Hong Kong jeans. tube of toothpaste between Parking accommodations An Additional incentive for classes. on the Mall will be overseen students to attend class is the Newark shops will move to by Security, Major said. $50 g i f t c e r t i f i c a t e • Central Mall locations More than half the students redeemable at any Mall on beginning this summer, said who skip classes do so to the Mall store, to be awarded Dr. Robscott (L'Enfant) shop, according to a survey each week to the student with ajor, associated vice recently conducted by the the best attendance record in president of felicities and Review. classes taught on the Mall " services at a university Spring and winter season said Major. ' Physical Planting meeting changes show the highest rate "Every time the Stockpile night. of skipping to relieve comes out with a new display Central Mall, to be called compulsive spending urges, I lose over half my com. 567, 'The Mall on the Mall", was according to student behavior class,'' said one professor hosen as the most analyst C. Dalvnees. who teaches during prime location for a new "The closer a student is to shopping hours. ~tua•ent - oriented shopping the class he is skipping, the Student reaction was convenience center, in more likely he is to feel guilty apathetically. positive: Most, administration's attempt and attend class the next like Justin Time, BU 80 said keep students off city time." said Dalvnees. ''I think it's great. Now i reets while skipping The move is expected to always have somewhere to •Ul:s:;~:s, said Major. . greatly increase class go. When my mind wanders Sharp Lab, Wolfe Hall, attendance in future years, my feet follow.'' ' Lab, and Memorial Dalvnees said. Student groups reacted have been purchased by Merchants see The Mall on swiftly and decisively to the oy Rogers Family the Mall as an excellent announcement. The UDZZ stau.rants, The Yap chance to appeal to untapped tabled a resolution that would D1scomania F'ashions, revenue resources. call for the formation of a and J.C. Penniless "So many students never committee to do a study on MALL ON THE MALL: In a new concept 111 campus plonqmg ent Store. Forty make it to our Christiana the problem, but agreed to students can park and shop between classes ... Or before of building space has Mall location and those who petition for $1300 instead. during. after. through... ReviewphotobyGodLeePowen Page 2 1917

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Pick up your free copy of ow new Winter HIFI Buyer's Guide. Ask about our liberal trade-In and one year speaker trade-up policies. Hi& Boase THE AUDIO/VIDEO PROFESSIONALS -~TRADE-INS ACCEPTED Convenient Terms 2610A MEADOWOOD II SHOPPING CENTER KIRKWOOD HIGHWAY, NEWARK PHONI738·9700 • Hours: M-.·Frl. 11:00·9:00: Sat. 10:30·5:30 wWinner of America's covetec AVI award. Awarded by the elec.. :nor· industry to the top 40 reta11ers in America for Honesty, Consumer Education and Serv1ce October 33 1979 THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE. NEWARK, DEL. Room·Lottery Won By No One womens Confidential By QUICHE LORRAINE Director of Housing and Sharkmeat emphasized, Service Residence Life Stewed "Everybody wins." In a surpise move by the medical center outpatient officials at Housing and Sharkmeat denied the Sources in the walls at birth free accusations. He countered, Courtney Street agreed that abortion Residence Life, no one won control early detection facility the room lottery for the 1979- "What prizes? What are you Sharkmeat and Spinster were counseling pregnancy testing 80 academic year. talking about?" planning to run off with the In further attempts to cover prized rooms on campus and (215) 265-1880 In past years, a number of up the scheme, Associate open a dormitory trailor park Call Collect students have always won Director Head Spinster in Hoboken, New Jersey. DeKALB ST. and BOP.O LINE P.O. something, although The supposed, "But nobody wins KING OF PP.U551A. PA. 19406 Review was unable to anything real in monopoly.'' When asked about the determine exactly what. But Although a drawing for the repercussions the no-win this semester, according to winners was held yesterday, system might have on unsubstantiated reports, Housing officials decided to students, Resident Student Housing officials decided that confuse students by picking Association President no one would be the wiser owl almost all of the student Barbara Stratton said, "I if no one received a prize. computer cards out of the don't care. I already In fact, when questioned, room lottery bin . graduated." .. . Trabant Hot Dogs It (Continued from Poge 1) 302 E. Cleveland Ave. watching to make sure sounds great from what I university? Oh, then I don't Newark, Delaware 737-2885 nobody eats bananas in any of know of it.'' know.'' OPEN DAILY the stores, but that Mall The Board of Rustees will State government people should cut down on have no official comment were unavailable for THE BEST CHINESE FOOD r jaywalking." until its next meeting, comment, as they were in t~· "sometime in the 1980's," caucus trying to determine ~ INTOWN Dean of Consumer's Fast according to Chairman which party has a majority. ~l *Complete Chinese Luncheon ~ see Assistant Dean of Student Samuel Wethen. "We don't On a national level, Sen. ~ ~ Affairs Eddy. And he can't give two hoots in hell unless Grillem Roth, Conservative, ~~ Only $1.95 up ~ comment until I've been we're losing money down Del., said, "You can read briefed by Associate Dean of there. What the heck, I might about my feelings as soon as J *Dinner Only $3.65 up ~ Students Eddy. And he's out have someplace to go now on someone writes them, in my of town." Tuesday nights.'' next newsletter.'' ~ *Cocktail Lounge * Take-out too! ~r Delaware taxpayers Sen. Joe Bylaw, Forked Even though the UDZZ greeted the news ' -,;,gue, Del., said, "Where's OPEN 7 DAYS! ~J ~ made no firm statement, nonchalantly. "Maybe now Delaware?'' Congressman ~ Mon.-~hurs. 11:30 a.m.-1 0:00 p.m. ·~ several student leaders made we'll have money to fix the TomDeadens was playing ~ Fr.. 11:30 a.m.-11 :00 p.m. ,... strong stands. "I'll have no roads and organize a lobby to golf and unavailable for ~ Sat. 12:30 p.m.-11:30 p.m. '..~ comment until I talk to Tony stop busing," said Amanda B. comment. Gura Mahagaragi l': '5 Moroni," said Dave Reckonwith, whom The Sale predicted in the Poppnfresh, big mahoff in Review called at random at 3 Enquiring Globe, "Life then student circles. "But it a.m. " Oh, you mean the will go on, such as it is.'' ~~~,-=~~~;:::.4:::=~~--~1~ ~ - · ~.,- ~ :t·~ NEW AT WONDERLAND PETER ALLEN

THE TUBES REMOTE CONTROL

Ne~ark 738-6856 N. Wil111. 475-8928 Open 7 Days Page .C THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL December 5, 1979 :•••••••••••••••••••••• =pigeons Retaliate i MAB-.U: a Poisonous Corn Found in D.H. • Security Urges all Students tO take • By ANDY WILLIAMDAUGHTER red, his eyes looked like they A student who ate the I home their easily transportable • Three pigeons were were gonna come out of his treated com would eventually • valuables because of the burglary • arrested while attempting to head and he wasn't smiling lose consciousness and fall smuggle poisonous com into anymore." These "distress face first into his meal. = problem which has existed over past = the Student Center cafeteria • Spring Breaks! 1 yesterday, according to Security. Authorities speculate that the pigeons • • were trying to mix this corn •••••••••••••••••••••••• with the dining hall's com, which would explain the ••For recent outbreak of food­ related illnesses on campus. This Over 50 students were treated for mild food Cause•• poisoning by the Health Center last week, according to Ray Huggybear, director Life of Christ of Health Services. Saturday, April 7th-7:30p.m. According to the pigeon's Sunday, April 8th-2:30p.m. attorney, "It was not an JOHN M. CLAYTON HALL outright attempt to poison the University of Delaware students; the pigeons were New London Rd.- Rt. 896 merely trying to maintain the Newark, Del. aesthetic quality of the dining · FREE Admission - halL" He added that the tree No Collection Taken in the middle of the cafeteria The presentation of "For This Cause" was a favorite roosting spot is truly unique. The entire production for the birds. is run by an audio-visual programer "Their extermination (computer) synchronized to operate Review photo by Rich Little six Ektagraphic projectors efforts have been quite simultaneously. A giant 7-foot by 30- effective," said a dining hall E.A. TROMBONE, doing his impersonation of Mel Brooks foot screen plus a stereophonic spokesman. Students who doing an impersonation of Truman Capote is seen here sound system add still another usually congregate in the waving off his fine feathered friends. In recent times, these dimension to this exciting. inspiring cafeteria during meal times and educational viewing pigeons have declared war on university administrators have all but disappeared, he experience. See the life. death. and because the birds want to take over the Blue Hens place as resurrection of Christ vividly said. the university mascot. portrayed along with beautiful on­ According to a witness, "A site scenes shot in the Holy land. friend who ate the com last signals" apparently served to Sponsored by In the past, the pigeons Associated Dible Students week, started to gag and alert other students that have tried to control the choke, his face turned real something was wrong. student population by spreading pneumonia-like diseases and creating health hazards, according to the JIMMY1S DINER pigeon's attorney. However, the results were only temporary. LAST TWO NIGHTS Quantity and Quality Felllnl's AMARCORD The attorney said that the Francis TruHaunt's. 137 E. Main St. pigeons chose the technique as an alternative to simply SMALL CHANGE 6 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Mon.-Thurs. shooting the students. The 6 a.m.-9:00p.m. Friday method was successful in a SUNDAY-TUESDAY CLOSED SUNDAYS cafeteria at Rutgers WIZARD OF OZ .... NA University, he added. WED.-SA T.-MARCH 28-31 ADVERTISEMENT Two great Jack Nicholson films FIVE EASY PIECES and THE LAST DETAIL 'WHY DO THE HEATHEN RAGE?" Psalms 2:1 and Acts 4:25 SUNDAY -APRIL FOOLS COMEDY FESTIY AL Three and % hrs. of W .C. FIELDS, Laurel and Hardy, Our Gang, Charlie Chaplin--and more Why do we have riots? Who is responslbile? Read Isaiah a blight somewhere upon ail that he po111e1ses. History bears 3:10.11: "Say ye to the righteous, that it shall be well with at least an Incidental yet decisive testimony on this point. MON-TUES. APRIL 2-3 them ... Woe unto the wicked! It shall be ill with him lor the Perilous it is indeed to a man's well being in this ille - to reward of hli hands shall be given him. his peace, his reputation, his best interest - to do wrong. from the man who gave you PUTNEY SWOPE Possibly the wrong doer may not suffer himself, yet most THE VOICE OF RETRIBUTION: "FOR I THE LORD THY certainly his children, and his children's children will pay the ROBERT DOWNEY'S GOD AM A JEALOUS GOD, VISITING THE INIQUITY OF penally of his misdeeds. Man is undoubtedly· so constituted, THE FATHERS UPON THE CHILDREN UNTO THE THIRD whether regard be had to his physical, social, intellectual, AND FOURTH GENERATION OF THEM THAT HATE ME; GREASER'S PALACE and and moral nature, as to make him a happy being. The right, AND SHOWING MERCY UNTO THOUSANDS OF THEM the unperverted use of all his powers and susceptibilities THAT LOVE ME AND KEEP MY COMMANDMENTS." - would not fall to secure to him a high and continual state of RANCHO DELUXE Part of the Second Commandment, Exodus 20:5,6. earthly happmess and prosperity. MIDNIGHT MOVIES THURS.-FRI. History makes some singular developments in respect to And not only Is the human machine Itself so lilted up as to the retributive justice of God. Nations, communities, accomplish such an end, but the whole external world, the families, individuals, furnish fearful illustrations that " the theater in which man has to live, act, and enjoy, is lilted up In Tonight-- .GHT OF THE LIVING DEAD wicked Is snared in the work of his own hand," and that " the beautiful harmony with the same benevolent end. Every jar Next week (Mar. 29, 30) CONCERT FOR BANGLADESH way of the transgressor is hard!" Wrong doing, oppression, of human happiness, every arrest or curtailment or ex­ crime, are, by no means reserved only lor a future tinction of it, Is the fruit of transgression or perversion. The GEO. HARRISON retribution. They draw alter them an almost certain violation of a natural law is as sure to be followed by APRIL 5, 6 FRANK ZAPPA'S TWO HUNDRED MOTELS!! retribution in this world. "There Is no peace to the wicked, retribution as the violation of a Divine law. The history of in­ sallh my God!" He may seem to prosper - riches may in­ dividuals, families, communities, nations, is lull of such AND EVERY SATURDAY AT MIDNIGHT DRESS UP crease- he may revel in pleasures, and shine in honors, and retributions!" AND SEE seem to have ail that heart can wish; yet there is a canker­ "Be sure your sin will lind you out" - Numbers 32:23. worm somewhere gnawing at the very vitals of happiness- "It shall not be well with the wicked." - Ecclesiastes 8:13.

P. 0. BOX 405 DECATUR, GEORGIA 30031

ADVERTISEMENT Friday. April1. 19711 THE REVIEW. UNIVERSITY.OF DELAWARE. NEWARK. DEL PageS Nothing's Happening

NOTICE-Francisoc Franco is still maybe it's 6 a.m. . .. wait, I CONCERT-"The Shoes Brothers." Two hundred cats trained to yowl on ; ON STAGE-George dead. For further information, don't remember, it's sy r:pg tongix hetyid. They've got lots of sole, and they keep key when their tails are stepped on. . Thoroughlybad and the No-Names of call God, he'll call you. B.Y.O.W. Rstiov Bd. instep. Field House. Tickets $10, $11, Bacchus. Sponsored by the DMPA. All Newark. 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. At the FILM-'' Alice in Wonderland Meets COLLOQUIUM-"What Moral $12, 13D. week. remains of Clayton Hall. the Lusty Eyes of Lewd Lenny." XXX. Decline in the '70's Can Mean to You, CONCERT-"The Sues Brothers." CONCERT-"The Refuse NOTICE-Solar Eclipse -12:15 p.m. All day at the Slate Theater. $1 with Your Rommate, and Your Roomate's Members of the American Bar Assn. Brothers." Garbagemen sing a Area of totality is the southern part of IUD. Girlfriend or Boyfriend." Guest sing off-color drinking songs. Seasons medley of George Thorogoon songs. the Indian Ocean. ON STAGE-Frank Zapper and the speaker-Margaret Trudeau, special Change Night Club. Tue. and Thurs.• 5 a .m. Sponsored by EXCURSION-Florida. Just about Mudders of Destruction. Loudis guest appearance by the Rolling CONCERT-"The Brews Brothers." Food Service. every student on campus but you. Recital Hall, Amy DuPont Music Stones. Dickinson AlB Lounge, all Drunken students screaming as they CONCERT-"The Glues Brothers." GATHERING-Laval die-hard UD Building. 8:13a.m. night long. fall off barstools. Deer Park, 6 p.m. to High school kids who snort up and Varsity basketball· fans. .a p.m .. MEETING-Shoplifters. Fairfield PERSONAL-Sudsy-So does your 1 a.m. nightly. sing. "Stuck in the Middle on You." Tuesday. Admission 20 cents for cost A&P, vegetable and fruit section. dog. CONCERT-"The Clues Brothers." Newark High School. of phone call to Tubby Raidbone's Refreshments served. NOTICE-Personals don't belong in Drunken Security guards sing "99 CONCERT-"The Fuse Brothers." suite in the Fieldhouse. Discussinl>( the DEMONSTRATION-WAE (We're the calendar. Knock it off! bottles of beer" while driving shuttle CAISA sings a medley of songs not project of next year's games to ~e Against Everything) President PERSONAL-Pizzaface: Have a busses. Midnight every day. discriminatory to anybody. 4 p.m. to played on the courts next to Academ~· Trabant's lawn. IBM at Raub Hall, happy 108th! All the girls in the CONCERT-"The Moos Brothers." 4:05p.m. Tues. the Scrounge. St. tennis courts. DuPont Co., South African Embassy, Western Hemisphere. Friends of Della deCow sing the Oscar CONCERT-"The Pews Brothers." RUSH-Clone demonstration Life KKK torch factory, or any place else NOTICE-Hey, we're serious. No Meyer theme song and milk it for all Catholic priest sings "Jailhouse and Sciences Buildinl!. $1 admission. you can think of. more personals in the calendar. Jeez, it's worth. Whenever. Rock" in verv well-mannered voice. FILM-On the soup in dininl! halls MEAL-International Lunch. do you guys think this is a joke? CONCERT-"The Mews Brothers." Small businesses in the New Castle across the camp!JS. all meals: e\·er~· Mexican tacos, Russian Borscht, CONCERT-"The News Brothers." County area. day. Japanese Saki, German sauerbraten, Hear Review reporters sing old CONCERT-"The Chews MEETING-Outdoinl>( Club. Italian garlic. Dinner $2, Pepto­ Beatles songs off-key. The Scrounge, Brothers." Students spit dining hall Discuss trip to Oreli(on. where ·The Bismol59 cents extra. llp.m. Wed. liver into pretuned water · glasses. men are men. the women are men. LECTURE-" The Irresponsible CONCERT-"The Cruise Once a month. whenever the dietitians and the sheep are worried.' Press." Speaker E .A. Tribbnant. Brothers." Members of the UD Sailing say we should have liver. VIDEOTAPE-· · Ba ttlescar Every day, all the time, whenever he Club sing old whaling songs. The CONCERT-"The Snooze Spastica." !'lewest Star Trek rip-off can corner more than two students. middle of Chesapeake Bay, noon Brothers." Students who snore in tune with a cast of plastPr. Sundays 8 p.m. WORKSHOP-"All You Can Eat," Thur. while readin · The Review. to9p.m. Cannibalism. Speaker Idi Amin, CONCERT-"The Boos Brothers." CONCERT-"The Bruise FILM-"Bored of the Rings." Zsa regimen leader. Refreshments Irate Philadelphia 76er fans singing a Brothers." The Abuse Brothers in Zsa Gabor. Liben:·cc. the :\-land:mn. served in a lar_ge metal pot. medley of songs while following the another guise. Asthma Center. PG. COLLOQUIUM-·· Einstein's bouncing ball. Spectrum, during NBA CONCERT-"The Ruse Brothers." FILM-"Lord of the Strings." Playoffs. Theory of Relativitv as it Relates to A bunch of jokers sing "I Started a Eugene Fodor. Hawlte~· e. Oliver You." 3. 152 time units. Brown lab or CONCERT-"The Abuse Joke." 9 p.m.··: Everybody leaves. Queen. Castle :\-lalll. GP. hyper-warp space. Free Brothers." A group of sadists sing old FILM-"Whored with the Ktngs ... transportation. Vulcans or Cylons Norse flagellation songs. Bacchus. LECTURE-"Shaping of The Xaviera Hollander. Elizabeth Ray. welcome. Sponsored by the DMPA. All week. Modern Mind." Speakers Dr. Timothy Red Sonja. Castille :\-lallll. PP. MEETING-Bong Club. ·3rd floor CONCERT- ' 'The Confuse Leary. Jimi Hendrex. Janis Joplin. FILM-" Sore of the Wlnt.!~ " library bathroom... or was it the 4th Brothers." We can't figure out what 9: 17 p.m. $10 per lid. Spiked punch Warren Worthington Ill. Kator Hoi. floor ...anyway, it's at 6 p.m... or they sing or where. served. Aral(orn the Wonder Horse. Chest~ Hills I. DP. FILM"Sore of the Stinl!s... Paul Newman. Robert Redford. .Janet Pym. Chesty Hills II. DC. retrorat retrorat retrorat FILM-" Bored with the Bml!s." Bob Hope. Dorothy Lamour. and the that "We could probably tO\Y an iceberg Zak, 37, suffered a fatal attack of Minute Maid Co. Dodecagonal Mall I U.S. Gains Vietnam As Gift or two but not a chunk of land." diabetes during a playing of "You Don't and II. AC-DC. The Chinese government seized FILM-"Scored as thev Sing ... President Jimmy Carter responded, Bring Me Flowers", and attempted to Dinah Drake. Tvroc. The Bee Gl•es Vietnam this past week, and in an "I to be no are Vietnam the effects lust phone for help when the final blow was Slate Theater. AC·UC-IC. outstanding move, offered it to the for the country.'' struck by a Barry Manilow ------­ United States. retrospective. In retrorat of the decision, Vice WICG Jock Dies A graduate of the Bob Gegnas School Premier Ping Pong Ping stated, "I to be M. U. Zak, disc jokey for local radio of Media Charisma, Zak worked for ADVENTUR~ no are Vietnam the effects fascism." station WICG last fall to top 40 radio, elevator music companies from 1957 to Secretary of Energy James died suddenly during a broadcast 1978, when he took over at WICG. Known Schlesinger refuse~ t~~ offer suggesting Wednesday night. for his remarkable stamina, Zak would often broadcast the entire day's music schedule and never sound tired... or Kampus Briefs anything else. Carter Gets A Piece In Mid-East Harrington Beaches A Whale A security guard viewing the whale President Carter announced today A 50-ton whale washed up on remarked, "I think the KA fraternity did that he believes there is a good piece in EUROPE AND BEYOND! it. They're always up to something the Middle-East. Harrington Beach yesterday, much to Traveling the open road. the surprise of the surrounding fishy." After having doubts during initial dormitory residents. visits to the Mid-East, Carter said he is Freestyle. There's something "I just came out this morning and it Study Trip With Amin Planned "relieved and satisfied." about it that means the best was, like, there," said Sandy Sharpwit Carter arrived home amid cheers experiences you'll ever have. The military science department is from onlookers, who congratulated the That's the kind of vacation (PE/81). offering a summer workshop in Uganda President for getting his first piece. The information service of the under the direction of Ugandan ~~;;;;;;;;;;~~!!!!!~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we're offering you. university issued a statement which said President Idi Amin. Correction Take a modem coach. add that "it is believed that the whale simply In an article last week entitled young people from all over the did not wash ashore. We have contracted The session runs from June 15 to July "Trombone Denies He Raped world, and hit the road. the meteorologist at the Wilmington 25 and includes courses in guns, boxing Prostitute," The Review did not mean to And you have over thirty Airport and he stated conclusively that and general rioting. A large insurance say that university half-head no wave went as far as Newark options of which road to hit: policy is suggested for the trip, but it is groundcrewperson Dweight Renuzit had the glamour cities and colorful Wednesday night." not suspected that Amin, a known embezzled $125,000. What we meant to Vice President for Student Affairs cannibal, will eat anyone. say is that part-time CIA investigator villages of the real Europe, the John Worthless was asked what would Interested students should contact the M a r y T y 1 e r M 0 0 r e w i 11 b e Greek Islands, Scandinavia. be done and he replied, "Why ask me? Is military science department. commencement speaker if it rains. We Russia. the Middle East, Africa. this another 'Dean in charge of whales' Registration must be received by May apologize for the error. India ... city to city. detail to joke?" 31. detail, adventure to adventure. Call or write for our free full­ BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS NOW! color brochure. ; - O;e:,-;;n:;:.::;;-;:,:,:.;t;:; i about Adventure World 791 1 INrER COLLEGIATE HOLIDAYS INC . I UNI.VERSITY BOOKSTORE 1028 Connecticut Avenue I Washington D.C. 20036 March 26 is the day we will begin (202) 265-9890 clearing our shelves of spring semester textbooks. Nante ______Should you still need to ·purchase Address ______textbooks, please do· so before that Telephone ______date. ~·------Page6 THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL. December 15, 1978 Editorial------~Readers Regurgitate•!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Joke's On You Never Satisfied To the Editor: there's this girl this year thai don't. We don't like it one thinking about Florida. I wrote to the paper nearly I'm interested in, but she Many readers prob~bly one year ago to complain p1cked up a copy of our highly iota. And, we bet, neither do Besides, the administration refuses to give me a tumble, you. always breaks the big stuff about nothing. Well, nothing's as the saying goes. Now I still esteemed tabloid (often been done about none of the called "The Rag" by its many while we're on vacation. Any ain't homely, and I'm trying vacation will do- Christmas, nothings I wrote about, and to brush up my personality, admirers l today and said, now there are new nothings to ''What the hell is going on Thanksgiving, the summer, but she just isn't grokking my even the weekend between get my goat. Witness;; fe.elings for her. here?'' We doe 't blame you. No store has ever accused Of course, none of the Winter Session and Spring Semester. But never when we me of shoplifting. By dingy, that's my st.ories you have read are I don't want to see either problem this year, and I hope true, and the names have can use it. Nothing is going on in the Dan Fogelberg or the you do more nothing this year b ·~en changed to protect the Amazing Kreskin. than you did last year. idio .. . er, innocent. Any way of entertainment, either, Newark will be even duller Living on Central Campus, Ramsha Ajen Plimster co~nection to real persons I have no need for the shuttle living or dead is for satirical than usual over Spring Break, unless your idea of fun is bus system. pu-:-poses only. But why. you I own no stocks in South Troubles ask. What possessed ·the sitting in the Queer Park with To the Editor, a handful of townies who look Africa. editors to pt.:t together an Nobody tried by buy my I have a curious genetic entirely bogus issue? like they just waked off the problem. My breasts set of Deliverance. Homecoming Queen vote. Well. there's no sense The Bookstore still gets all developed on my back. What beating around the proverbial But if it really bothers you, should I do? · if we seem to be the most my books in on time r I just bush. Let's face it, this can't afford them). Concerned newspaper is boring. irresponsible young people since the sixties, look at it this What else ... let's see. Well, BORING! Do you really think I didn't drop my Music class Dear Concerned: we like printing 16 pages of way. You don't have to read this. We're not holding a gun after all, even though I only Wanna have some fun? Go folderol twice a week, got a C. My old girlfriend still to dances. You may not be knowing full well that its So, as a public service to at your head. You can just pretend we didn't publish an isn't talking to me, but that's much to look at but you would primary uses are lining trash our readers r both of you), we to be expected. I know: be great to slow dance with! ! cans, bird cages, wrapping decided to let loose some issue today. fish. and in the case of the laughter on this, All Fool's Or better still, treat it like a Classified Ads, gtvtng Day.What the hay, we regular issue of The Review A Gritty Subject students something figured, nothing ever happens - read the· personals a'nd interesting to do during that the week before spring break. throw it away. Go ahead, just To the Editor. they will hold a place in boring one o'clock lecture? No major news ever presents throw it away. Spring break?! What is this society some day. The future Well. we'll tell you - we itself when everyone is We bt.t you already did. asininity? School shuts down hope of our country all • for ten days and the students spilling onto some crowded leave town. These same beach to drink beer, get ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Readers Regurgitate~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! students actually think that wasted and generally lose precious hours of their lives. I find this practice utterly We Couldn't Have Said It Better Back Again absurd and indeed a throw then at the nice big To the Editor comment on this abhorant To the Editor: cart past the Keeeler's Chalk­ society in which we live full-of-Butts and I saw a little clean windows and smear I can't believe it! Once In a recent issue of The again the student government today. Review. an aritcle was done box of Animal Crackers with them on the cantaloupes with all the little niches where the failed to vote the way I Florida. What will the on shoplifters in our fine city. the cute baby giraffes and youth of America find there? monkeys and zebras that look junk would get all smashed wanted it to, so here I am Like the other day while I was once again complaining to the Sand. Yes, sand. And lots of it shopping in the grocery store like horsies that sleep on piles in the cracks and then when Daddy and Mommy took me good folks on the Review. let me tell you. Sand baked in and I was pushing that damn of newspapers. I grabbed a the sun. Sand that crusts on package by the string -- you to the giant toy stores I'd run Sure, I always complain away and hide under the about you when you disagree your towel. Sand that clings know -- Mommy used to give to your oil-jelled body. Sand Letters Welcomed me boxes so I wouldn't pull counters with a vicious toy with me, but I'm like that. Let's see, Wednesday these that imbeds itself between Interested in writing to The food off the shelves, so rake and swipe at the ladies nylons and then run away sycophantic, slimy knee­ your toes and then what? Can Re\·iew? We're sure you are, instead I'd wad those critters anyone possibly find this in my mouth and suck on before they knew what has walking fools voted to ... well, so here's what you need to do wait a minute, I would have gritty s tate of affairs to get a letter in our esteemed them till they were sticky happened to their nylons and the model glue stuf to put the agreed with this vote here. pleasing? publication. then when Mommy was busy Before you leave, think complaining and moaning toy tanks and tanks and But after that they ... no, no, I We don't care what vou say about the consequences. A 90 and crying over the prices trucks and tanks with the guess this one's okay also. or who you say it ab'out (as Gee whiz, I've got to go along degree classroom in late long as it's not us). The and yelling at the store man. I men that looked like dead would spit those globs 'Jf people even in the sand box with the way they behaved April, your sand filled pores important thing is the amount clogged and skin swollen by gunk out at the fat lady when I'd build castles with this time. But I'll be looking of paper you enclose. You overexposure to the sun know, that green stuff that pushing her cart howling at little holes under the ground! next time, and if !don't like what they do, you can bet I'll sticking to the seats in Smith. measures a bout six inches bv her kid who looked like he'd ImaHose rEditor's Note: Ms. Hose is come running to you good It can't possibly be worth the two and one-half inches, with swallowed a bottle of horse venture: radish in the last aisle. presently teaching sociology people with my cries. all the presidents on them, Sandy Crackers and are accepted by most Sometimes Mommy would at the university.) Name Withheld businesses. You've probably park the cart right by the got the idea. fruits. and I'd pound the bananas on the scale and then

Vol 00 No. 3 March 23, 1979 Oliphant On Strike

Hol1bu1 Salmon Tombstone Corf'ler Conned Mar shma llow 8usmess Mor'loger Edetor Monogeng Edetor No Cartoon Today

Deppy So .. anon Cream Puff Ourche Lorrorne Advertesenq Derector fxecutrve O ~rec t or

News Edrtors lied< Pumpern•cky Carmel Radech Oevoed Plum t ree Loorou de Francaes Beefart Doob•e Pe t.et Features and l ayout Ed1 tor Candy Shme Sports Editors Sperea ch Spew !I Ser laurence Oleveer Photo Editor M r Green1eo ns Co p y E d e t or~ . lazy Barf Marcus Aure l1us Rude Flash Flood Stoff Wrrters . M oe Modern Sleezy Gorden Scary K. Holt Circulation Manager . Curled Gntz Art D~rec t or A pril Sh o w e r~ Auestont Art Otrector . .. Dum Hickory Nuts Ass estont Ad ... ert•seng Manager . Billy Swamp ---- A u,stont Busene ss Manager Oeme sed Granola Assistant Sports Editor . . Shirley Temple And AI as the Cho rus -- Mar.ch September THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL . Page~ .Insects Overwhelm Dormitories By ANDY WILLIAMDAUGHTER when a member of the Food Service worker. With 50 Security department helpings of Liver Fiesta, they A 30-foot cockroach went on attempted to tie a ticket to its enticed the roach into a a rampage yesterday, eating antenna because the roach refrigerated tractor-trailer. a member of the Security was blocking the fire lane. According to a Housing department and several The roach disputed the ticket spokesman, the roach has rooms in Harter dormitory. and ate the security guard. been evicted from Harter and "We've always had a must now find alternative problem with roaches," said housing for the remainder of one Harter resident, "but I the semester. can't remember ever seeing one that big." The Review has learned • BEGINNER STUDENT that the roach was a pet of an You said entomology student who was OBEDIENCE TRAINING performing experiments by MIDNIGHT feeding the rpach cafeteria­ you'd never liver which is high in Finally, members of the Palace of Silk - nutritional content. The Student Center cafeteria PRIVATE SESSIONS g1ve up student, David Blatta, asked were called to assist in to remain unidentified. capturing the beast. jeans! The roach was nibbling "We've had experience 368-.0887 $2.00 through a first floor window with these big ones," said a Out maybe the time has come. As a graduating senior. it's time to start thinking about more than just jeans. STRAWBERRY RUN APTS. The 12 University of Delaware alumni presently with our Firm hove found that our sales and Welcomes U.of D. Students management opportunities hove proven to be challenging and financially rewording career . 1 bedroom ...... 215.00 choices. We will be interviewing on campus April 11 and 2 bedroom ...... 245.00-260.00 12. Information and sign-up sheets ore available 3 bedroom ...... 290.00 in the Placement Office. Why not sign up or call. We ore setting up student bldgs. and our opts. include heat, hot water, dishwasher, garbage disposal, free TOPKIS ~~~PROVIDENT pool privileges, and laundry facilities in all bldgs. Located ASSOCIATES ~E~!!-l~~OMPANY 20.3 Bellevue Building OF PHILADELPHIA just a few miles south of campus on 896. 100 Chapman Rood Home Olhce 4601 Markel St . Ph1la . Pa 19101 Newark. Delaware 19702 Su~.;1d1anes Prov1d01 Management Company 366-1172 10-6 Mon.-Sat. 12-5 Sun. AC .302-7.31-7.350 Prov1dor Sales Company ...... ; ...... ~11 i.• HA' YE YOU GOT THE· BEST MEMORY r.• • • I ON CAMPUS? . • • Uni~ersity'S PLATO proiect is sponsoring a contest to • • find out which students here have the longest memory• ••• • The contest will be based on the new game-SIMON-to • • discover the impact the game has on memory expansion • • • ' : tml

• • Contest Dates: II 1st prize - $50 Aprii _9-May 4 •• •• • 2nd prize - $25 (Mon.-Fri. 4 p.m. !I•• 5 runners-up - $1 0 each to 11 p.m.- Rm. 210 ••=• Amy duPont Music Building • II I If interested in the prizes or expanding your memory i • •• call our PLATO assistant at 738-2497 before April 9. I ...... ~1 ...... ~, ...... ' ...... l'ogeB THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL. September 23, 1979

i ATTENTION ALL UNDERGRADUATES ! • 0 ·t ,I FOREIGN STUDY . .I ~ MERI AWARDS

:! AVAILABLE NOW

AWARDS: $400.00 each DEADLINE EXTENDED TO I APRIL 1 s ELIGIBILITY:------

(a) Full time undergraduate of the For example: Honors Seminar: University of Delaware History, Literature and Theatre (other programs may be appropriate) (b) Participating in Summer Session 1979 academic program abroad for credit.

J PROCEDURE:--.~~~~~~-----~---~--~--

(a) Contact the Honors Program office (c) Awards will be competitive on the for an application, 186 South College or basis of academic credentials and call 738-1195. (Applications for grants letters of support. are also available from the departments participating in study abroad programs and the International (d) A subcommittee of the Advisory Center.) Board for Expansion of Study Opportunities Abroad will determine (b) Up to 5 awards for Summer Session recipients on academic merit. will be made.

• •U 10 A,

:t

Similar awards will be made available for Fall Term 1979, Winter Session 1980, and Spring Term 1980. Further announcement of those deadlines will be made later in the Year.

For Fall 1979 study abroad programs the application deadline will be April 15 with awards announced May 1, 1979. Up to eight (8) awards will be made for Fall Semester study abroad programs. September 26, 1978 THE REVIEW UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL. Poge9

"Touchy'' Art Forms Explained in Button-Art By CANDY SLIME . . a mov1e once, somethmg to do about vegetables, and I'm officers have it. In fact one having to slink around Its smooth, soft surface with me having a larger sure he was trying to harvest night while riding home on the dark alleys of Newark gleens with the brilliance of cucumber. That seemed to my melons. He ended up the Security van I saw the looking for a viet. .. er subject. silk. Its image is religious, get faster results." poking around my navel. I driver trying to smoke it. And the police are constantly pure and Holy. It's weaved The Review staff has guess he was after potting There went my best bag of harrassing me. They bust me from the finest navel lint learned that 47 of the 22 soil." green lint." for possession of grass. Then available in Uelaware. ~-~p~~~- they never return my stuff University Ensign Dentin ·.·•· just like Security. At the Fenders has labored these station I smell a little smoke past four years at the university, weaving a delicate religious tapestry to decorate the fireplace mantle of the university research vessel the Good Ship Lolly Pop. The work is so beautiful it is hard to tell it from tapestries purchased from roadside antique mills in the deep south or gas station art sales. "It all started one night when I was a freshman, drunk off my behind at a swinging dorm party, " Fenders lamented. " I got the idea for the masterpiece when I wandered into the privy late that night and saw God. He spoke to me in a gurgling voice that sounded like lots of little soft chunks of K-Rations falling into holy water. From that moment on in the back room. a few I knew what I had to do. It grunts, and then they hustle was a revelation. v me out of the station calling So began the arduous four­ ' me some kind of ·degenerate year task of weaving the low life".' ' three-foot by four-foot multi­ colored tapestry. Review photo by Amy Carter The tapestry · is now The technique for weaving ENSIGN DENTON FENDERS points to his maker in his recent avant-grade retaliatory art complete and hangs over his the tapestry is much the same fireplace giving off a lovely as any other type of weaving. against the decoupage movement. Fender's entire wardrobe is mode from the some fibers as his art: bellybutton lint. glow in the room. But this IS However obtaining the proper not the end of the story. kind of navel lint, from young sexual assaults reported to Security ·officers at first Fenders explained that for female coeds with blond hair, Security were listed as attempted to 'impound the the different colors of lint he is not an easy task. "attempts to perform navel stash of lint which Fenders had to seek out subjects who Through a similar "A lot of times when I maneuvers on a non­ keeps separated by color in wear a certain color of Orion revelation, Fenders has would ask for some I get some commissioned WAVE'' small baggies. One night, sweater. Fenders, being so begun another religious sort of smart remark or engaging in mock navel officers entered Fenders religious, was saddened that crusade. carving small weird stare. Man, was it battles in a demilitarized room, wrestled his boudoir so many wild and innocent crucifixes for the university hard going at first. But soon zone," and second degree to the ground and confiscated Orlons had to die to make the community from the bones of most of the blonds got to know touchy-feely. It might have the stash. sweaters that create the dogs. ""Its much easier to get me and it became smooth been first degree but as one "Those damned Security finest lint in the best navels of bones than lint. There always sailing. I never give up on a distraught coed said, "The guards," Fenders said. the sexiest blonds on campus. seems to be plenty in the holy mission. I also tried a idiot never got high enough. "They never did return all "Its not been an easy dumpster behind the Student better opening line I heard in He kept muttering something my lint. They let other thing for me you know, Center dining hall.··

Okay, I give up! I ain't newspaper and tells what Lynde. to see up audience members' in for Steve Martin, banging my head in anymore. time it is. 2:00p.m.- "The Gathering skirts. substituting for guest host I'm just a loudmouth 9:00 a.m. - "Afrotalk." Sludge." Serial. 8:30p.m.- "Mad Dentist." Joey Bishop. Guest include jokeswiper who steals Host Abraham S. Truman 2:30 ·p.m. "Love of Wild and crazy Dr. Yankem Ed McMahon and .Johnny reviews from "TV Guide." I talks about combing your Misery.'' Another serial. drills through a patient's jaw Carson. never have time to watch all hair into narrow rows and 3:00 p.m. ''All My and sews his cheek to his those programs, and besides, tying hundred of tiny knots in Miscarriages." Actually, gum, while Nurse Plimster 1:00 a.m. - ""The Daytime who listens to what I write it. they're all the same script, overcharges the welfare Zone." A traveling salesman anyway. 9:30 a.m. - "Gilligan's with the names changed. patients. faces some perfectly I'm just gonna list today's Ghetto." Comedy. 3:30p.m.- "Marve Grisson 9:00p.m. -- ''Zits.'' Zits gets explainable occurences while programs and not review 10:00 a.m. "The Show," Marv talks with four sick in Shop class and driving through a small town. them, and then I quit. That's Poorhouse." Game where Hollywood stars who all have accidentally cuts his thumb (Rerun! it, Okay? Just leave me people are given one last large bowels. ·off, while Bow-Wow tries to 1:30 a.m. -- ""The Odd alone! Did you hear? No chance to clear their debts. 5:00p.m. -- "Let's Put It in get Zits to take her to the Couple... They finally kiss. more jokes! Just bug off, all 10:30 a.m. "Who's Our Mouths.'' Children. Prom. (Rerun) \Rerun) of you!!! Fatter?" Game. 5:30 p.m. - "Early 6:00 9:30 p.m. - Laverne and 2:00 a.m. - "Late Early APRIL 1,1979 11:00 a.m. - "The $77,800 News." Sterno Annie." The girls try Movie." 1952 film ··our 5:57 a.m. - "The Living Pile of Money." Game. 6:00 p.m. "Lat~ 4:30 to return a half-eaten coffee Wonderful FBI," with Bible." Religion. 11:30 a.m. - "Embarrass News." cake to the grocery store. Broderick Crawford and 6:12 a.m. - "Bible Life." Your Wife." Game. 6:30 p.m. "Late 6:00 Robert Stack. Religion. 12:00 p.m. - "News for News." 10::00 p.m. - "Switch." 6:27 a.m. - "Life and the Eggheads and Four-Eyes.'' 7:00 p.m. - " On-Time 7:00 Linda Day George turns off 4:07 a.m. - "Last News of Bible." Religion. · 12: 15 p.m. - "Celebrity News." the lights, Bob Denver turns the Evening." 6:42a.m. "The Life of Your Housework.'' Suzanne 7:30 p.m. "Cruel on the air conditioner, and 4:12a.m.- ··First News of Bible.'' Religion. Pleshette cleans behind the Kingdom." All about animals Doug McClure guides a the Day." 7:00a.m. ''Captain Stupid.'' stove and Barbara Eden does that eat each other and go to Metroliner onto a side track. 4:17a.m. - "Sermonette, ·• children's show. the dishes. the bathroom on plants. 4:20a.m.- ··sermonella.'' 8:30 a.m. -- "Kiddie 12:30 p.m. - "Timewaster 8:00 p.m. "I See 11:00 p.m.- "The Late 6:30 4:23 a.m. "'Mass for Cannibals." Cartoon. Playhouse"." 1961 movie London ... " Guest panelists News." Milkmen." 8:50 a.m. "Get Out of Bed, "Hercules Unzipped," with Richard Dawson, Jamie 11:30 p.m. - "'Tonight's 4:30 a.m. "Fuzz and America," Emcee read Steve Reeves and Paul Farr, and Jimmy Walker try Show." David Brenner stands Static." PogelO THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE. NEWARK, DEL. February 2323, 1979 Travel Tips: Scenic Newark STUDENT by Text and photos Cultural Society and Hamburger Lovers has SPECIAL SERVICES " Travel Tips" is a weekly column by Sal been unable to find anything worth painting in is now accepting applications for Manella, owner of Manella's Travel Bureau. Newark. Plans to operate a souvenir stand S d Ad · d T f h We've already been to most of the really fun there have been dropped since the Society tU ent VISOrS an UtOrs Or t e places within a day's journey to town, so you realized that no one would want to remember summer (July-August) and the say to yourself, where do we go now, Sal? a trip to Newark. d . 1979 80 I" f Well, if you're like most people, you've Although our photographer was unable to aca emiC year - app ICa IOnS forgotten all the fun you can have in quaint get pictures, I also recommend the famous and job descriptiOnS are available at Newark. mailbox on the corner of Elkton Road and the Ujaama House, 231 S. College South College Avenue; the Clark Kent A approved telephone booth on Main Street; and venue. the Oscar the Grouch Trashcan #23. Until next time, keep traveling! Limited number Of positions. Next week: Elkton and other Maryland ~;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; night spots. ~ YOU GAVE IT THE NAME the freeze Review photo by Farrah NEWARK SPERM BANK AND WAR MEMORIAL formerly We began our trip at The Newark Sperm Tastee Freez Bank and War Memorial (A) located at the intercourse of Prostate Road and Hypothalmus Court. Erected in· 1978, the complex now serves over 10,000 women yearly. As you can see, the level is low, so Still 24 Hours donations will be eagerly anticipated (and NEWARK VISITORS' CENTER Still Same Management then accepted). Bank manager Tess Tease GALLERY warns that early withdrawals are not Still Great.Food encouraged. Tombstone, Next on our list was the newly completed & Newark Visitors' Center and Art Gallery 1 B). Meet us Yeste,rday at City father-in-laws think that their new Ice Cream building has captured the essence of Newark. 5 p.m. at the Queer A leisurely stroll around the edifice will show at Great Prices the traditional beer bottles. boarded-up Pack for a birthday 121 ELKTON ROAD windows and neat piles of trash. Although also intended as an art gallery, the Newark surprise! NEW AT WONDERLAND. • I

on I ~ I POLYDOR INCORPORATED Charisma oO'rv

Newark 738-6856 Open Every Day! N. Wil111. 475-8928 I • 1979 23, 1979 THE REVIEW UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL Page11 Pardon, S'il-vous Plait, Ne Cornprenne Pas THE By LOTSA BEEFART t Comprennez-vous le Francais? Voila one historie de SEX­ ! Il n'y avait rien a faire. On a decide vers minute de j regarder dans le miroir et voir nos yeux s'agrandir d'ennui. SWEDES i Tout d'un coup, Paul s'etranglait. D'abord rouge comme une tomate, puis vert et finalement couleur pomme de terre j (ou patate, si vous venez de la France), il etait vraiment I fascinant. Non, actuelement, c'etait aussi ennuyarit que de I regarder deux mouches se laver. Boring, dammit, ARE HERE! I BORING. "Non, Non," disait Paul. "Oo-la-la! Les Femmes!" l Que faire, bon Dieu, que faire? Nous voici en Floride, MAHOGANY Paul,Charles· et moi (Pierre-Marie), et il pleuvait, la SIZES 5 TO 10 temperature etait mediocrement froide et les filles avaient disparu. Paul avait avale de travers, et nous l'avons donne un bon coup de poing au dos. Sa couleur est redevenu normal (c'est-a-dire, couleur ivre). Mais on s'ennuyaient toujours. "On peut toujours regarder nos poils pousser," disait Charles. Boring. Enfin, j'ai decide de sortir de ce maudit hotel. Traversant la rue, je suis alle a la plage. 11 y avait un petit monde d'enfants qui s'amusaient pres de l'eau a transporter le sable mouille pour un petit chateau pas trop loin de la. WHAT THE SWEDES DON'T rNote: since this paper doesn't carry accents, you'll just KNOW ABOUT LEATHER, THE have to fake it). La mer vena it de temps en temps se laver sur le petit chateau et les nains travaillaient sans arret pour AMERICANS DO! retablir leur domaine. SWEDISH BIRCH BOnOMS- Un peu plus loin, deux jeunes filles parlaient ~ AMERICAN LEATHER serieusement sur le probleme si complique de quel 10% OFF WITH maquillage leur allai~ mieux. Yawn. ~~ -COME IN AND SEE- Tout d'un coup, j'entendis de la musique. C'etait les "Fuse STUDENT I.D. Brothers," cette bande d'ingenieurs qui venaient d'inventer l une nouvelle dance: "le Nerf." La dance consistait de petits I. pas en arriere et en avant tout en roulant les yeux et criant, 'J'suis Nerf, .J'suis Nerf!" C'etait drole de regarder les CASTLE MALL jeunes et vieux se torturer le corps en vain parce que des Moster Charge NEWARK, DE. idiots avaient decide que c'etait "hip." OonkAmericord 738-8581 Non, a vrai dire, j'en avais marre. La Floride etait 1 ennuyant, le soleil etait un disque aussi froid que dans le nord, et les memes banalites se rencontraient sur la rue, a la plage, a !'hotel... Revenant a !'hotel, j'ai decouvertque Paul •avait de .---nAII1 nouveau avaler de travers. Cetter fois,so couleur etait "technicouleur," comme quand la television couleur ne marche pas bien. Enfin, parce qu'il riait tout en HAI"F~ (Continued on Page 12) HAIR ·... ·. a IIIIUU.UiaR.OAT HAf p, I . "j Nt1E. EI.EIWIT ~in;?UIIPaoi.JQ" STIOlES! l =-,:,.· ..· ·;. ·~ l I H". i ! i j

HAIR Let the sun shine in!

..._ . ...t, w .LESTER PERSKY,., MICHAEL BUTLER ""'"""' , MILOS FORMAN ,,,m~ RAGNI, RADO ,., MacDERMOT'S "HAIR" Slam., JOHN SAVAGE· TREAT WILLIAMS· BEVERLY D'ANGELO· ANNIE GOLDEN· DORSEY WRIGHT DON DACUS· CHERYL BARNES ... MELBA MOORE a. ... B!':~":: GEROME RAGNI, JAMES RADO ...... ~:..:;;:':GAIT MacDERMOT "'"''"'...... ,ROBERT GREENHUT -~""""''""' MIROSLAV ONDRICEK ... So""""" MICHAEL WELLER Cllolqo...,., TWYLA THARP -., LESTER PERSKY ... MICHAEL BUTLER _., MILOS FORMAN A CIP Feature Pani!Yis.,... Techn"'*"" Ongonal Mo<""'l'lcttn Sound Track Album on RCA R..:oods & ''"" [](]I DOLBY STBlED 1• '"" '"'' ~ ....

COMING SOON January 25, 1979 ''Looking for Mister Deer Park'' By DOOBIE PET-IT little college town, the guys Pushing her way through the A loner by nature she offered their wares but she sandwiched people drowning wasn't interested in any was looking for better in the pulsating rhythms and permanent set-up, so she hardware. electric echoes of "The strutted her stuff, beer in Moonlit strolls led her to Spasm," she had another hand, sucking on· a butt, hair back alleys, cats clawing at then tripped past small streaming, tight satin pants heaps of scraps, and to the establishments to the Steer gleaming, breasts bouncing bars. To churches, roadside Dark. in time with her stride. bazzars and behind "Sun? Oh A streetwalker. A woman No!" gas stations. Still she Ducking through the who knew no morals. A hadn't found her man. paneled entrance-way, her decadent sleazy dreg of the eyes met the stares of various earth. The heatbeat of the music· souls propped like manequins By night she was the object surrounding her, lights behind stained linoleum of a lustful heart; in search of creating psychomanic covered elbow props which good times, a little action and patterns on The Hobby's served as tables. Turning her the best partner the town mirrored walls, couples back on the sloppy weaving, smoke wafting, assemblage of mindless wrapping, surrounding the patronage she trudged to the Insane dancers - she sat sipping on Poopcrater Den and their she a double strength in the found him. could provide. By day the corner, still no prospective woman (Dying Wheatthin) is companion. None of the men The unshaven derilect a staid fixture in the looked her way so interested staggered to the jukebox and

I ' philosophy department's were they in a species more punched in "Send Me The classroom. similar to their own kind. Pillow You Wept on Last I ' I Headlights and horns Night." She knew then only glancing off the store fronts So she made an appearance this man - flea ridden in a on Main Street in the tired at the Stoned Buffoon. beer stained shirt, scratching his armpits, scuffling in dung ridden pointy boots to the bar - could please her. And we thought movies these days were class-less. ... lejump

(Continued from Poge 11) n. s' etranglant, on a du lui donne un coup de poing First lesson: formidable pour enfin revoir • Bonded Bourbon is so le vert, rouge et couleur unique that it took an patate que Paul imitait si act of Congress (in 1897) 100 is perfect. bien. Hi. Hi. Hi. to establish the Bonded Bourbon standards for Quelques minutes plus tard must be 100 proof. et on etait dans la voiture, Old Grand-Dad' No more. No less. rentrant chez nous apres des and other Bonded vacances a regarder les whiskeys. mouches se laver. Boring.

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A Musical Based Upon Only Bonded The Gospel According to St. Matthew whiskeys have a green tax stamp. It's your guar­ Music & New Lyrics by antee that the whiskey is STEPHEN SCHWARTZ at least four years old. EVES. ORCH. MEZZ. BAl. Old Grand-Dad Bonded is Wod & Thurs. $14 00 $13-12 00 S8.00 always aged longer. )Ia . Tllurs Sl2 00 Sl 1-10.00 S8 00 Kentucky S!Tai,;ht Bourbon Whiskey. 100 proof. self·-"""""" lor return ol--.-.pod ticlllts. --hold ,• 11o1 Olhce MoQ check• .,.,..,. Rottloo in lionel. Old Gr.lnd-Oa.t o;,tillcr~· Cu. • Frankfort, Ky. 40601 . 10 Tilt PIOyflouso Visa. - CNrgo & WSfS c.nts KC1111111 -November7, 1978 THE REVIEW. UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL. Page13

Send your,.,. to us Tlae Review Cfassl/fed U1ith pcryment B-1. Student Center CLASSIFIED Rates: 5c/word per issue Ne~Mrlc. Del. 1.971.1.

Come to Carter's Used Furniture Store. On Laura Ellen, Napa! "comes a time... "It's Karen: Have a good break! Have an egg Elkton Road at the Iron Hill Auction 737-7483. your 19th!! So "party on. . . Someday you'll cream for me at the Diner! Love, Alan. Nancy, Have a very Happy 20th Birthday, announcements remember." I'll always remember our Carolyn. NEW WEDDING GOWNS under $100. 328- friendship that has grown so special In such MELONS: Since it's your birthday we hope The foexes of Russel D- have a good time in ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH, Fine Antique and 4$51. a short time. "You know your just what I that you'll retire from the business and get Florida. Just try and do something I Contemporary Apparel At World Family needed.. . "I hope I've. touched your life as out of that bed. Everyone knows that your wouldn't do! Bill. Imports (Behind Abbotts Shoe Repair-Main Guitar-Yamaha acoustic. Good condition. greatly as you've touched mine. You'll real talent lies on the disco floor - besides, St.) With case. Best offer. Call Paula. 386-9302. always be doing it.. . doing it.. . I Love You! it's lllegal to "do it." on the beach in Ft. Twc)guys need third roommate for summer Lealie Margaret. Lauderdale. Happy Birthday! Love; Loosey, in. Ocean Citr, N.J . Already have third Fast, Cheap Professional Typing. Price Ufetime Membership at Kirkwood Filness Legs and Lustful. P .S. Don't forget your floor of house. Call Kevin or John 731.0027. break If you're legible. Marian 731-5485. Club for Sale. $600, Call 737-8598 after 5 p.m. Ellen, Jennifer, Jewlie - Hope you have a doooah. nice spring break. I'll be thinking about you. Seattle Stew And Jewish Pleasure: The sky Fender Twin Reverb Amplifler-100 watts I miss you terribly. Love, Pauilette. CLT-"Darlink,' this Is just to say that I could renUsublet Is clear, the track is fast, and the moon is nns., 212 Inch speakers like new. Best offer. sure use a little TLC, with Teddy's full. Have a Golden spring break. The 737-&82. John. It aU comes down to one thing: The Gash. permission of course-'Sweetypie. • Racing Secretary. Best Bargain tor summer: 1 bedroom furnished Conover Apt. to sublet. 190/month. 3 warm-ups (small) $15 each, paddiehall . Seniors sign up now for Senior pictures. Last Happy Birthday old man Jim Haug. Does including utilities. Call 738-703:i. Join the movement and go West, WEST racquet $10. Keith 366-1M7. chance-Rm 201 Student Center. your mom still work in a toll booth on the FEST!! Turnpike? Even though its been a weird For Sale: Cap and Gown, BAAS. Only worn THE WEST FEST Is coming! ! The WEST year, you're still and OK roommate One or two roommates wanted for June, July Married students or staff needed for once. $7 .50, tassle 50 cents extra. Call Alan at FEST is coming! ! (because-you're never there) . and August and/or next Fall. Two bedroom overnight childcare assignments. . Call 738-2568 day, 764-5789 eve. apartment in Sandy Brae. Call 738-9205 after evenings for interview, Rent-A-Parent, 368- Susan Lee. Happy B-Day to one of our best Happy Birthday to Teri the sexy bitch from Spring break. 9119. One pair Bauer Hockey Skates: Size 11, friends At Delaware. Thanks for so many 5th floor Christiana West. From every guy Hardly used, $24. Call388-5809. food times. Have an excellent time In Puerto oncampus. · Roommate needed for a two-bedroom Apt. in Meet the Hard Core of the Collep;e Rico! We love ya. A and C. To the BOSS, the classy chick in the hot car. Park Place Apt. Call Sam 737-2401. Republicans on 4/3, 4/4, 4/5 In front of the 1972 Flat in good condition, jyst needs a bit of I 2nd in a series l : It's nice that you can cook Student Center between 9 a .m . and 3 p.m. GASH, Gash, Gash, Gash, Gash, Gash, 2 bedroom apt. furnished. Town Court Sublet body work. Fantastic gas mileage. Call 738- (and 11)8ke meals and midnight snacks l and June '79 to Sept. '79. Call 737-1948. Also we'll hold our first meeting on 4/5 at 7 7936 after 6 p.m. for more information. Gash, and more Gash. work things out (and in), flow a bout a p.m. iri the Williamson room In the Student proposition: Let's U.C.P, (undoubtedly Roommate for house, one room $108/month Center. Review editors. Easy to talk to and they're Happy-happy day, Karen P . Hope your continue Phorever) together. plus utilities, walk to campus. Neil 738-8483. · going cheap. Quick, before they graduate birthday is great! Love ya .. .Sandy and days. Seniors sign up now for Senior Pictures, last and/or go Insane. $3 a pound. Lucy. Kath-Just wanted to wish you a Happy 19th. chance-Rm. 201 Student Center Its been ajjreat year-here's to many more! Two bedroom Park Place apartment to 1977 Nova, excellent condition, AM-FM To the Jolly Pancake on 4th floor DKC. Have Lots of love, Cuddly. sublet June to September. Call 738-9163 . ANYONE who likes to write, submit your Radio, 8-Track Tape Player, 6 cylinder a Happy 20th-The Wave. ideas on anything in the form of: short automatic. Call 738-2186 before 5 p.m. Betsy's friend, . Remember all those CR's lead the way. 2 bedroom apt. Paper Mill Sublet June '79 to stories, fiction, nonfiction, poems, etc. to the Monday thril Friday. excellent conversations we've never had? Sept. '79 . Call366-0986 evenings. Yearbook for possible publication-Rm. 201 Neither do I; let's have some after Spring Student Center 738-2828. Mr. Hejazi, Speed limit is 65 to Fla. Red Break.-ME. SUBLET: Studio Apt .. Sandy Brae, June 30- Devill. Sept. furnished, A.C., free pool. tennis. call lost and found Come to the WEST FEST, it's the Best in the 738-9772. To Gary-My Dininghall crush-1 think your West!!! available Found: Dickinson-¥. Female-Part collie sexy! (SeeyouinHDH). shepherd, black brown head, flea collar­ Everyone wish Tracy a HAPPY BIRTHDAY Exp. Typist, Exc. spell. and punc., Pickup cream color. 731-4856. HIT BUTTERFLY! ! Watch out, here comes on April2. She deserves it. wanted and Delivery 328-4099. Springtime, Fla., you know more vegetaua, Lost: Gold 5-chaln bracelet with thin bar at Established professional level Woodwind Theta Chi 3/!6. If found, PLEASE CALL move FLOWERS. By the way, how do Bunny - Thanks for making the past 6 Professional Racket Stringing, Tennis, butterflys really DO IT? ? I hear sunflowers Quintet needs bassoon. and French horn. Lisa at 453~791. REWARD. months the happiest of my life. You are the Please call Charlie. day - 302-774-4166. ni!(h! Racquetball, Squash, very low prices. Dan are best. best thing that has ever happened to me. I - 609-29~113. 366-9196, vending permit N3708. Lost: A man's necklace. White puka beads, hope I never have to find out what life is like with blue coral and silver beads, blue . Contrary to popular belief, there are some without you I LOVE YOU. Love Baby Accurate typing, 13 years experience, 75 triangular pendent. Lost at Russel AB Party Chemical Engineers who CAN Party. Checks. · Help Wanted- Men! Women! JOBS - Cruise cents per double spaced page, 368-1996. or Brown Party, 3/17. Please contact Mark Beware goobers! Ships and Freighters. No experience. Hi~h Kershaw, Cannon 305. Pay! See Europe. Hawaii. Australia. South Professional typing of theses, dissertations, Paula, you better scour this page till you find To 2nd floor DKE - Kate, June, Kim E ., America. Career Summer! Send $3 .85 fo r Lori, Jill and Beth. REMEMBER -girls can books. IBM Selectric. Greek, math, foreign Lost: Tl 57 Calculator In Black case in this message. I love you. Tom. info. to Seaworld. Box 61035, Sacto.. CA language symbols available. Experienced do it. so get it while you're still able and 95860. Brown Lab or Sharp Lab on 3/16. Reward. name it after me. Your Leader always. manuscript editing. Proofreading. Ms. Please call366-9264 ask for Gabe. Seniors sign up now for Senior pictures last Frick, 388-2318. chance-Rm 201 Student Center. . Experienced Waiters and Waitresses. full Lost, ring of Keys in Wolf Hall, Reward 738- Leigh, Loved your Lasagne I although: the and part-time positions. Apply in Person - Giant 5' TV Screen for rent, call301-398-5913. 2285. University of Delaware Suntan Team service left something to be desired 1. Maybe Oscar's 703 Market St. Mall, Wilmington. Tryouts. Interest meetings, Rodney Quad, I'll supply the dessert. Art. 656-8044. TYPIST. Theses, Dissertations, Term Lost, a sil9"er two-pronged hair pin, antique, April 2nd and 5th. 4 p.m . Come out and join papers. Call Sandy 731-1600 Ext. 42 days, 738- family heirloom. Lost either in library the Suntan Team. Chris, I love you! Female roommate wanted to share '3 of 2 0232 evenings. (reserve room), the Scrounge, or between The est FEST is coming! ! ! The west fest is bedroom Ivy Hall Apartment. Can move in the two. Please contact: Catherine 453-8774 Kathy, a_s o_L next Monday, Happy 22nd immediately. Apt: J3. 731-4!67. TYPIST, Experienced. Term papers. theses, or message at 731-4682. coming! ! dissertations. Excellent spelling and Birthday. Won't be long now: only 56 days punctuation. IBM Correcting Selectric Anyone who likes to write,. submit your ideas before burying the hatchet and 75 days until Roommate male or· female to share house the knot is tied. Love, Scott. typewriter. ~66- 1452 . on anything in the form of: short stories, $90 month + 1 -a utilities, own room. new personals fiction. nonfiction, poems etc. to the vacancy, call Mike (evening hours 1 738-9104 Typing--Term papers . a speciality. Yearbook for possible publication-Rm 201 Join the CR's a'ndget involved in the action. or 737-4955. Immediate Service. Low student rates, for Paula, you better scout this page until you Student Center. 738-2628. Information, phone 478-4510. find this. I love you. Tom. Are you ready for the " Big G"? 2 female roommates for summer at KIDS, have a nice spring break and make Rehoboth, call Barbara 328-2!91. sure you see the GASH by bed-time,POPS. 20 B & W Resume Photos for $5. Review Eileen, Now we can finally do it!! Happy OSI and YAVUZ! Wish you good luck in Photographer Jay Greene 731-7210. 20th. Love Jim. Join the College Repubicans. We will be future. Happy birthday. Red Devil I. A few hard working politically motivated people who are interested in workinp; for the Typing-25 yrs. experience. 65 cents a page. To the misquoted ''nonsmoker:'' Teach me! meeting at 7 p.m. in the Williamson Room on Call S. Anderson 738-1112 days or 737-7203 4/5. Be there and get the whole story. Sexy lips N22 - Call 738-8350. Republican Party. The College Republicans I'm a quick learner! From the guy who can, offer and the opportunity for political after 6. "move his hips without moving his feet." Gugulu Dayim! Forget yours and joins ADS. activists. and interested persons to help Jeannine, Cornelia, Krys, and Susan: Thank prepare the Republican party for the 1980 Translations Into English and/or To the person who turned In my wallet at the Hope to see your team in 2nd league. Love you for making my birthday so happy~ professional typing of material In German, you. Red Devil I. election. Come to our meeting on 4/5 at 7 main desk in the library. Thank you very Lucky for you, I'm still naive at nineteen. p.m . in the Williamson Room at the Student French, Russian, Italian, etc. Experienced much! M. Carlolon. Love Terry. Center. manuscript editing, proofreading. Ms. The Gash is Coming! DEBBIE'S BIRTHDAY IS NOT MARCH 27. Frick, 388-2318. 168-46~958 Happy Birthday! I love you so much. Thanks for all the wonderful times In Alpha Chi Omega Great Greek Race, She is not going to be 21. She is the worst Help Wanted : Student to do hous ecleanin~ 4 I'm available. ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH. See the past and the millions to come in the Preregistration. April 2-4 in Student Center apartment mate anyone would want hours/week, one block from campus. me behind Abbotts. 11-2, one person must be Greek, Rally date I especially me)! I do npt wish her a HAPPY Possiblity of more hours later in semester. future, many laughs, munchouts, bricks, Ph. 737-7739. tennis games? Wasted times, philosophical April21, $50 first prize! BIRTHDAY ! ... April Fools! ! ! SCULPTURED NAILS $35, Manicures, discussions, and ...guppies, from now. You Bicycle In England, July 9-23; $875 includes Waxing, and Makeup Mark IV, 737-4994. 366- really piss me off. 193-44~441. 9426. Ask for Cindy. plane fare, trains, hotels, two meals a day. To whoever ripped off the keg and tap from Led by Martin and Winnie Beer. Call Prof. Any typing need done accurately, efficiently, our party on 3/ 16 : At least you saved us the John Beer368-!041. There's a healthy very reasonable, 731-5601,453-1754, 731-5851. trouble of returning it. Thanks a lot-a nd don't bother to come again! Robin, Ronnie, ONE IS NOT ENOUGH! Do't behind Abbotts career for you IMMEDIATE SECRETARIAL SE RVICES­ and Dorothy. World Family Imports. Typing , transcr i bin g, co p yi n g,· in Allied composing ... " On Call Does it All." We are Hey.Holly! On Saturday you'll be a big 19. Francisco Franco is still dead! NOT a tempora ry help agency ...Free - Too bad you'll be in Ai rzona to celebrate it, brochure. Phone 478-4510. but don't worry we'll ma ke up fo r it when CASH FOR COMIC BOOKS AND related Health Sciences. you get back. Really though, have a ha ppy material. If you've got 'em here or at home , call Mark 366-8017. Experienced typist of theses, dissertations, birthday and a safe trip! Take car e, Your Earn a Bachelor of Science Degree etc. Call Marilyn Hurley 738-4647. Munchkin Roomie! Anyone who likes to write, submit your ideas at Thomas Jefferson University: SENIORS sign up now for Senior pictures. Happy Birthday Eileen ! ... "Dad." on anything in the form of : short stories, . College of Allied Health Sciences. Lsst c han ce- Rm~201 Student Center. fiction, nonfiction, poems etc. to the Paul McCartney is dead! The Walrus. Yearbook for possible publication Rm. 201 Student Center 738-2628. It shouldn't surpri se you to find Alpha Chi Omega Great Greek Race. Pre­ for sale registration. April 2-4 in Student Center 11-2 Come to the WEST FEST. it's the BEST in out that we're tops in the April 5, 6 in Purnell Lobby 11-2. One person the West!!! 1978 Columbia Moped, good condition. Best must be Greek, Rally date April 21, $50 first · SENIORS sign up now for Senior pictures, related health sciences field. offer. Call Therese at 328-2472. prize! last chance-Rm 201 Student Center. In fact. what our professionals Kayak-Needs a seat and seat rim to be Bloody Tourist, Have a great spring University of Delaware Suntan Team know about health sciences installed. Includes flotation bags, life vacatiOn. Just, lay on the beach and •·soak Tryouts. Interest Meetings, Rodney Quad. preserver, splash skirt, paddle and up them rays" Dire Straits. April 2nd and 5th. 4 p.m. Come out and join could start you on a fascina­ cassacks. $150. Linda 737-7741. the Suntan Team. ti ng , fulfill ing career. Call or L-Bird, Have a safe and great break! Love, Indoor Soccer Tournament. U.S., Phila., Custom-Built Brick Ranch House-­ J-B1rd. Maintenance free, mint condition-2.th yrs. Textile, Drexel. Trenton State, Salisbury write for more information old. 2-car garage with radio control. full dry State, plus a clinic on indoor To Thad's best friend: Have a nice Spring competition.Del. Fieldhouse. Sat. Mar. 24th, today. basement, approx. 3/4 acre lot-good location, Break! luv, me. can be purchased with or without furniture, 11 a.m. to 5:30p.m. FREE. make offer. Location Appleton Rd., ElktoR, To Dearest Darlene, The Forum Queen. MD. Shown by appointment only-Call 398- HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEN STANEK!! Admissions Office Leave my memo board clean, or I'll fix Steve Have a gr eat one old lady, Jove, Donna. 7149 (home l 329-5281 Ext. 392 (office l up with Christine. Love, Olivia Newton John. College of Allied showing Sat. and Sun. 12 noon to 5 p.m. Guy with half-green face Satur day night Health Sciences Fourth Floor Kent: Thanks for the Surprise from Gilbert. We think you're cute a nd want Thomas Jefferson Stereo Equipment at Discount Prices. Most Party Tuesday night. I could never have Major brands. Call Charlie or Tom 738-5708. to meet you. Signed: The girls who Later Univers ity made R.A. with out your faith, "confidence" saw you a t 7-Eleven. and l~ve. Suzy. Philade lphia , Frigidaire refrigerator, 4 cu. ft., largest size HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAREN PUZNIAK! PA 19107 allowed in dorms, with wood grain finish. In Witz-Have a great birthday Monday. I'm excellent condition, with large freezer, meat Thank you for being a great R.A. Have a not going to get sentimental because you happy 20th! Love, RDD 2. tray, hydrator, and ample door already know how I feel. You're the best (215) 928-8891 compartments; I,. years old. $100. Call roomie anyone could have asked for. Enjoy Tom, 737-3982 or 738-2771. To the guy who grapped my ass at Theta Chi your vacation, and remember it's YOUR last Thurs. You have really big hands! vacation. Happy Birthday! Fred. Thanx-Cheeks. Poge14 THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK. DEL March 23, 1979

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'§. 1978 M1ller Brewing Co., Milwaukee, Wis. March 23, 1979 THE REVIEW. UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE. NEWARK. DEL. Page 15 lnternat'l Lobby Gets $13,000 George C. Scott By ANDY WILLIAM DAUGHTER grand nine-nation tour of The tour will enable The UDZZ this week Europe . Only vot i ng committee members to make allocated $13,000 to its members of the UDZZ and valuable contacts with the International Lobbying their closet friends are heads-of-state of major Committee to embark on a eligible to attend the trip. industrial nations. " Education of the issues takes place in Europe," said HARDCORE" Pop-n-Fresh. UDZZ President Russ (Hi, NOW 7&9 Call Me Jimmy) Boner and SHOWING P.M. Secretary Mark Askmeanything opposed the recommendation. " It's a disgrace; the committee has already exceeded its allocation for the year by $40,000 and they still want ~~~ more," said Askmeanything. One of the UDZZ members ~ INDIA ~ who supported the allocation said, " The International Lobbying Committee is beyond a shadow of a doubt I IMPORTS It~ our most active corrtmittee. In fact, every member of the ~ Mini Mall 58 East Main St. ~ UDZZ is also a member of the committee. I . . CLOTfiiNG . I The recent allocation will \ pay for private-jet rental, appropriate gifts to foreign JEWELRY leaders, three-martini I I lunches, and several benefit dinners, according to Pop-n­ 15% OFF on All Garments ~ Fresh. He added that slides of WITH THIS AD ONLY --!:..'! the trip will be available to L any interested students. ~~~~~~~~

Review photo by Beef & Cheese Inc. LOBBYING her way into the heart of this European business man is International Lobby Committee chairwoman Mitzi Youtoo. The Lobbying Committee members will be asking for additional funding this week for more sun tan lotion. Delaware. Women's Health Organization Birth Free Out Patient Control Pregnancy Abortion Counseling Testing Facility 652-3410 1-800-22 '1-2568 1205 Orange St., Wilmington, Del. 19801 Florida's Entertainment Emporium Eskil's high heel clogs take is the hub of activity and night life with live bands, your feet to new heights. disco, and ·numerous drink specials Now you can wear Eskil's Clogs in more places than ever before. Thanks to our fashionable new high heel styles. Our clogs can be customized to match your individual All Collese Students receive FREE, with admission, taste. With strap orna­ ments, toe shields, ini- Flanigan's Spring Break '79 Collector's T-shirt tials or whatever you choose. And they Don't wait••• come in a wide variety· of sizes hustle over to the nearest and colors. Flanigan's I Big Daddy's Lounge for the most outrageous time of your life.

Tallahassee, Jacksonville, Pensacola, Orlando, Daytona, West Palm Beach, With 33 locatiOns Pompano, Fort Lauderdale, . 76 E. Main St / Newark, DE ~Q.OGSHOP .. Miami 453-1123 When your feec need a fnend. Page 16 THE REVIEW, UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, NEWARK, DEL. October 20, 1919 Holocaust: Hoop Heads Hacked Out of Jobs By SPINACH SPEWS showing, the Blue Hen hoop concluded to report his "Everyone says the A successor will be named In the wake of Delaware team will be forced to play displeasure and eventual Fieldhouse is too far from "When I feel like it," said basketball's 5-22 season, next winter's home games- on decision to axe the Hen campus. Ha. We'll put 'em on Nyllssyn. "There's a lot more athletic director Dive the courts by · Harrington honchos, Nyllssyn quipped, campus. The fans better pressing matters right now, Nyllssyn yesterday after Beach behind the Student "Actually, my mind was dress warmly, though.'' including the installation of a noon announced the firing of Center. Newark High School made up after the one-point new water fountain by the coaches Ron Rabies and John will play its home games in win over Glassboro in The athletic director sports information office and Beeswax, along with a series the vacant Fieldhouse. January. That improved their admitted to the press that a flag for the flagpole outside. of other departmental moves "What did you expect me to record to 2-6, but I saw the although he did not attend I might wait 'til summer. which include Delaware do -- sit on my butt and do writing on the wall. I decided any Delaware basketball football droplJing to Division nothing?" snarled Nyllssyn of to wait and let . all you games this winter... " I still Then again, well, I might as III and the allocation of the double firing. "That just­ reporters hoot and holler was aware things weren't well tell you guys, I might tll,OOO.OOO to build a dome completed season -- if you about how a Delaware coach right. I watched those guys in just not pick one and we'll atop Delaware Stadium to be want to call it that - was has never been canned. Well, practice. Even in pre-season I scrap the basketball fmished for this fall's season atrocious, an insult to me what do you think now?" didn't like the way they program altogether. The opener. personally. 5-22. Hell, the '62 dribbled. Yeah, that was football team's gonna need In addition to dropping the Mets started off better than what touched me off that Nyllssyn added that the more money to get ready for guillotine on Rabies and · that. And it's unfair to Tubby those guys had to go. The that challenging Division III B\?eswax. Nyllssyn also and his boys after such a fine move to the Harrington lousy season just clinched it.'' schedule." informed reporters gathered football season. Dammit, I Beach courts might provide a in the Delaware Fieldhouse won't take that crap." plus for the program. "Well lobby that as additional Asked why he waited so obviouslv it'll increase punishment for their poor long after the season had attendance," he laughed. Rabies Recruits 3 Hoopsters at the J.C.C., and I was really impressed. I By ALAN CRABLICE mean. here were three guys who had actually Even in the best of vears. Hen basketball heard of the University of Delaware ... coach Ron Rabies ha~ a tough time luring Despite their lack of competitive mediocre talent to play in the silent confines experience, Rabies felt confident that it will of the Fieldhouse. This year the problem is not take him long to "coach them to the even more acute. caliber of play of the rest of our team." He After compiling the worst record in conceded that although his three sta,r recruits Delaware history 1 and in the country l, Rabies were not stars, they did have the potential to was finding his recruiting efforts to be become "pretty good black holes." He refused unrewarding. "We looked everywhere." to speculate whether they might be white Rabies moaned. "Philly, D.C., New York ... no dwarfs. luck. I couldn't give these athletic Despite the lack of recent experience, The scholarships away." Review has found the trio's statistics from Fortunately for Hen hoop fans. Rabies their abortive junior high school basketball Review photo by Wolter Pigeon found the answer to his problem right in his careers. The three had a combined shooting A VICTIM of a certain Blue Hen athletic team, this pigeon own backvard, and has announced the signing percentage of 27 percent and averaged a total obviously wasn't the athletic type in a recent archery contest of three ·non-paraplegic standouts. Melvim 6 23 of points and turnovers per game. held on the university mall. Lipschitz. Bernie Goldstein. and "Goldie Misunderstandably, Rabies was ecstatic. Bernstein. "I saw these guys shooting around "These guys are perfect for us." Flabby, Lipton Trade Flabby Blabs on World Tour By DIX HILLS SUGAR PLUM also is looking forward to the Head football coach Flabby new season as 'Head Football l'ormer head football coach progressive leadership style visiting the People's Coach,' but is worried about Flabby Tubman will begin that includes "getting into the Tubman and head field Republic." said Tubman hockey coach Mary Ann one thing, "I ' realize that his annual football recruiting athletes vibes" and "They are rumored to have under Title XXI I am able to "exploring their Lipton have exchanged jobs tour on schedule. despite his manv athletes interested in due to a new interpretation of attend the team meetings in appointment as field hockey consciousness.'' coming to Delaware." The the men's lockerroom, but The recruiting tour · will· Title XXI that requires all honcho. pater Famialar of Delaware coaches to have equal time does this mean I will be the ·· Look. ·• said sports begin in Florida and swing football will seek talent in only woman present?" D1rector Bend Merman,'' south to the Bahamas and and pay as well as jobs. China's Hu Yu Fulin The new women's sport co­ The change will affect Coach Tubman is just tired of Mexico City. Tubman will province." In the Islands are ordinator. Tubman, is mostly everyone, informed coaching all those heads. He's then jet across the Pacific several prospects that we can sources said, especially the and stop at the Polynesian pleased and anxious for his not (iod you know." use around the Fieldhouse, fall season to begin. "We players. Said one football Tubman. as Delaware fans Islands. colonialism not player "I'm glad to see a ar(• aware, is into a "I'm really excited about have some excellent talent. withstanding," said Tubman The caliber of teams we will change finally happening, I from his sauna. play should prove challenging was really getting sick of the ··commen," whispered for both me and the team. It same old coach year after assistant Dick Wickerson, will be really great to year after year after year... " "do you want to see me wind actually compete as a On a lesser level, Athletic up in Tasmania looking for Division I powerhouse and Director, Dive Nyylsson, will prospects for the dog team?·' · national championship be replaced by Kay Fire and Delaware will surely defender." will take over her duties as prophet by the talent that Along the same lines, head badminton coach, Tubman will scrounge up. Lipton commented that she effective immedi~tely. BCRJSHS Defeats Hen Pinsters By DOOBIE PET-IT "cup of tar water," the Hens game'?" The balls thundered down could be heard muttering by And so it went. The second the allev as the Hen Pinsters the bowling ball polishing four eights of the match were took on the Northern machine about the hound full of tense sweat-producing \ Burlington County Regional players unheard of-unfair­ action. Anything was fair Junior Senior High School ! explitive deleted) game. Grevhounds in the Chief mongering practices. Delaware coach, Ima Halftown Bowling Classic One described the doings on Youralley, turned her back on Championships last weekend. in the alleys earlier this way: the sorry state of affairs The Greyhounds had raced "Sure he didn't call it. How during this period. " I can't down the alley to a five strike could that ref with coke bottle believe what I'm seeing ... jzz . . ___.. four spare in the hole lead glasses, staring at the NO! ... Oh please, not with photo by Morvin Hamlisch over the Hen's floundering country singers in the snack balls... I can't stand to watch THE NERD APPROACH seems to be the best approach if you efforts at two quarter time. bar, see that one ball that anymore." She was. found care to try out for the basketball team. Coach Ron Rabies As members of the hopped over four lanes to sitting, sobbing over her recently signed these droogies in hopes of improving the Grehounds gathered around knock over my remaining umteenth brew, after the Hen romp in the bar. ranks. They're rank all right. the 15¢ coffee machines for a pin, possibly call a fair