Jewish Wedding – explanation booklet Chuppah – the wedding canopy The Chuppah or “wedding canopy” is a decorated piece of cloth or traditionally a Tallit “a man’s prayer shawl “held on four poles as a symbolic home for the new couple. The bride and groom usually fast on the day of the wedding (until the Chuppah) since for them it is like Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The groom is accompanied to the Chuppah by his parents and while the bride comes to the Chuppah with her parents, a Chazan “Cantor” sings a selection from the Song of Songs, and the groom prays that his unmarried friends find their true partners in life. The bride then circles the groom seven times with her mother and future mother-in-law. This symbolises the idea of the woman being a protective, surrounding light of the household, that illuminates it with understanding and love from within and protects it from harm from the outside. The number seven parallels the seven days of creation, and symbolises the fact that the bride and groom are about to create their own “new world” together. The Rabbi then recites a blessing over wine, and a blessing that praises and thanks G-d for giving us laws of sanctity and morality to preserve the sanctity of family life and of the Jewish people. The bride and groom then drink from the wine. The blessings are recited over wine, since wine is symbolic of life: it begins as grape-juice, goes through fermentation, during which it is sour, but in the end turns into a superior product that brings joy, and has a wonderful taste. The full cup of wine also symbolises the overflowing of Divine blessing, as in the verse in Psalms, “My cup runneth over.“ chuppahs 1 of melbourne Ketubbah – Kiddushin – placing the ring the Jewish wedding contract The significance of the ring lies in its being a circle, without an end. The implication is that the love between the bride and the groom will The first thing done at a Jewish Wedding is the completion, signing be the same - everlastingly happy. and witnessing of the Ketubbah, or marriage contract. It also has the form of a link from a chain. This symbolises that the This contract is ordained by Mishnaic law (circa 170 CE) and couple becomes a link in the chain of humanity that extends from according to some authorities dates back to Biblical times. the beginning of creation until the end of time. The Ketubbah, written in Aramaic, details the husband’s obligations to The general custom is for the groom to give a gold ring, to show that his wife: food, clothing, dwelling and pleasure. the bride is as precious to him as gold. For various reasons, there is It also creates an obligation on all his property to pay her a sum of no precious stone, or engraving, on the ring. A perfectly smooth ring money and support should he divorce her, or predecease her. represents the perfectly smooth, untroubled cycle of life. The document is signed by the groom and witnessed by two people, The groom takes the ring in his right hand and places it on the bride’s and has the standing of a legally binding agreement, that in many right forefinger. This custom is at least 1,000 years old. There are many countries is enforceable by secular law. The Ketubbah is often written valid reasons why the forefinger is chosen. The ring is placed on the as an illuminated manuscript, and becomes a work of art in itself, right hand, because the right hand represents love. and many couples frame it and display it in their home. Before placing the ring on the bride’s finger, the groom recites the traditional prayer in Hebrew: “Behold, you are consecrated to me with Bedekin – the ‘veiling’ of the bride this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel”. The “law of Moses” refers to laws actually derived from the Torah itself. The “law of Israel” After the signing of the Ketubbah, the groom does the Bedekin, or refers to later legislation and custom. “veiling.” The groom, together with his father and future father-in-law, is As soon as the ring is placed on the bride’s finger, the couple is accompanied by musicians and the male guests to the room where considered legally married according to Jewish law. the bride is receiving her guests. She sits, like a queen, on a throne- like chair surrounded by her family. The groom covers her face with her veil. This ceremony is mainly for the legal purpose of the groom identifying the bride before the wedding based on the biblical story of Jacob who married Leah instead of his beloved Rachel. 2 chuppahs chuppahs 3 of melbourne of melbourne Sheva Brachot – the seven prayers The Civil Marriage After this, the Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings, are recited, either Back in the bridal room, in the presence of the retinue, both the bride by one Rabbi, or at many weddings a different blessing is given to and groom will sign the marriage register making the wedding civilly various people the families wish to honor. legal as well. The blessings are also recited over a full cup of wine. The blessings In addition, there is a final document to sign in which both the bride begin with praising G-d for His creation in general and creation of the and groom state that should the marriage, G-d forbid, ever have to human being and proceed with praise for the creation of the human be dissolved, they both agree to do so by means of a Get - a Jewish as a “two part creature,” woman and man. Divorce. These documents also allow the opportunity of inviting people the bride and groom wish to honour to be signatories as The blessings express the hope that the new couple will rejoice witnesses. together forever as though they are the original couple, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The blessings also include a prayer that Jerusalem will be fully rebuilt and restored with the Temple in its midst Yichud – moments of privacy and the Jewish people within her gates. At this point the couple again share in drinking the cup of wine, After the documentation has been concluded, everyone is asked to leave the room and bride and groom have five minutes of privacy. This is known as Yichud - togetherness and it puts the finishing touch Breaking the Glass on the Halachic side of the wedding. It indicates that this couple is married. The groom breaks a glass by stamping on it. This custom dates back to Talmudic times, and symbolises the idea of our keeping Jerusalem These few minutes are very special - an island in time. The bride and and Israel in our minds even at times of our joy. We remember the groom have just been married, the nerves of the Chuppah are over, time when the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, so we break a the tumult of the reception has not yet begun. glass to show our identification with the sorrow of Jewish exile. With the breaking of the glass the band plays, and the guests usually It is customary for the bride and groom to give one another a break out into dancing and cries of “Mazaltov! Mazaltov!” (Some say, meaningful blessing for your upcoming life together. tongue in cheek, that this moment symbolises the last time the groom gets to “put his foot down”) 4 chuppahs chuppahs 5 of melbourne of melbourne Horas – traditional dancing Birkat Hamazon No Jewish wedding is complete without the Hora otherwise known as The traditional way to end the festive meal is with the birkat hamazon, Israeli dancing or simcha dancing the blessings after the meal. Booklets of prayers, called benchers, can be found on the table for the guests. Often the bride and groom are lifted on chair most likely derived from the tradition of carrying royalty on chairs. After the prayers, the seven wedding blessings are repeated, giving friends yet another opportunity to participate. Finally, the blessing A few strong and brave guests hoist the bride and groom high above over the wine is recited as two glasses of wine are poured together the crowd on chairs while the couple may wave handkerchief to into a third, symbolising the creation of a new life together with a new each other or hold ends of a single handkerchief. Friends and family marriage. dance around in a circle as the elevated couple tries not to look (or fall) down. Blessing on the wine The foot movement includes kicks and other grapevine like steps, which can be accompanied by bopping up and weaving as well. Once the bride & groom have sipped on the wine, it is customary The circle moves in and out, closing and then moving away from for single people at the wedding to have some of the wine as it is the couple. The dance can be performed in various other ways. It believed to help them find their soulmates. is usually performed on the song Hava Nagila or a compilation of energetic traditional music. This is not announced or done in any official way so as not to embarrass any of the guests. Blessing The Challah Mezinke Tanz/ Krenzel – final dance The wedding meal begins with a blessing over the challah, an elaborately braided bread similar to the one eaten on Shabbat The Mezinke Tanz is one of the concluding dances of the night and however much larger in size.