Bare Facts 16th February '96 University of Surrey Students' Newspaper issue 870 Minibus Accident In this issue hortly before Union onboard, had on Tuesday. Other injuries midnight on Friday pulled out of a carpark. suffered mainly consisted of scratches, grazes and shock. 10th of February Neil Hunt and Ruth Holling- S dale both received broken one of the Union The driver of the other car es- jaws after hitting objects in caped without any serious in- minibuses was involved front of them as they were juries. in an accident where it thrown forward by the force of was hit head on by a the impact. ITie driver, Alis- The Students' Union and the tair Oliver had to be cut free University have offered their Volvo travelling on the after the accident but managed assistance and are currently wrong side of the road. to walk to the stretcher having dealing with insurers and po- The accident occurred on suffered a broken arm. Five of lice and offering general assis- the A6 just outside of the fourteen aboard had to be tance to those people who More Internet Bedford after the taken to Accident and Emer- were involved in the accident. gency, of which 3 were re- news minibus, with fourteen leased after treatment. Neil members of Christian and Ruth both had to remain in Henry S. Katt page? hospital but Ruth was released Eyewitness report page 3 Broken Promises And Shattered Dreams.
N FRIDAY diligence and expertise of the rorist campaign). The Sunday NIGHT a bomb City's security forces and hos- Times reported that whilst pital staff ), a return to full there has been a peace there Oexploded in scale war spells the loss of has not been a process and the London's Canary Wharf many more lives and a return reasons for the attack has killing two, injurying to a life of fear. When you hence been an attempt by the many others and causing have known peace, experi- I.R.A. to move the negotia- enced fteedom from terror for tions along. TTiis will prove of untold damage to the first time, it's confiscation little consequence to those in Johnny numerous buildings. will prove ali the more grating. Northern Ireland and those Mnemonic It has since been disclosed that whose lives were shattered in the bombing was the work of What the consequences are for the blast. We have been reviewed the LR.A . and with this dis- the peace process is as yet un- plunged into a political quag- page 10 covery the peace process has known, certainly the news of a mire and those who watched been thrown into turmoil. It resumption of an active terror- the Dimbleby report will have has been reported that news of ist campain will do little to seen the tension on the faces of the explosion brought tears to foster trust between the com- both the audience members many people, especially to peting politicai parties, and the and panelists and realise from those in Northern Ireland it- Unionists will certainly not be this just how fragile the situ- self, who know only too well disposed to granting further ation is. Whether a peace is the implications of the bomb. Republican concessions, (de- salvageable is as yet unknown, Whilst on Friday the loss of spite the fact that this is re- certainly the next few weeks life was kept to a minimum ported to be one of the motives will prove crucial. (which is perhaps due to the for the resumption of the ter- Election Results
President: Sports: NUS Delegates: Spoiled -15 Spoiled - 27 Spoiled - 49 Valentine Sharon Baker - 307 Steve DeWint - 372 Sharon Baker -160 John Mirbel - 74 RON - 60 Andrea Morley -166 personals RON - 63 Dave Smithee -147 page 11 RON - 28 Nominations for the by-election open at 12 noon on 19th February, close 1st March If you are interested either Student Affairs Officer or Communications Officer then pick up a nominations form from Malcolm Hamling the Union Finance Officer 2 Letters/Editorial Dear Editor, Cheesy Quavers* articles are Roman Catholic school. Un- The results of state schools why there is a lack of teachers always well written and infor- fortunately, he has picked an are probably very bad be- wishing to practice their pro- matíve, but I felt last weeks anonomaly here as the budget cause many special schools fession and a queue of teach- (9th Feb *96 edition 869) did for schools of religious de- have been shut down due to ers waiting to retire from not contain the whole picture. nominations are slightly dif- lack of ftinding by the LEAs. stress-related illnesses? As a son of a family, whose ferent. As a person who Thus children with emo- both parents are in the "indus- attended a Roman Catholic tional, social problems and Lee Hopkins infers that the try" of education, I feel sev- state school, and has recently motor learning difficulties are politicisation of education is eral facts are often neglected seen its budget, I know that it thrown into mainstream due to the present Conserva- by the media. receives a fixed amount from schools. And they are ex- tive administration. I take is- the LEA (Local Education pected to compete on the sue with this. It is actually a Firstly, the fallacy is that in- Authority) and a fixed same level as able, emotion- reaction ft^omcertai n teachers dependent fee-paying schools amount from the local parish. ally and socially stable chil- who fail to realise that they are presented as a completely The parish at its discretion is dren! should be politically neutral bad idea. Yet a certain fact is allowed to give supplemen- within their jobs and that they skirted around. Parents who tary amounts for any particu- Another reason for the low should work under any demo- send their children to fee-pay- lar purpose, eg. buying a results of many schools is the cratic administration. Part of ing schools are still paying for computer. rapidly increasing numbers of the NUT (National Union of a place at a state school children in the class again due Teachers) national subscrib- through local rates. There- Tiiirdly, it must be remem- to the lack of funding by the tion is paid towards the La- fore, if their child fails to use bered that an OFSTED in- LEAs. This means basic skills bour Party. This is the largest this place the funding will be spector spends only a very such as reading are not exam- trade union amongst the allocated to the central funds, short time in every classroom, ined by the teacher on a daily teaching profession. which are used to provide fa- because he must also inspect basis. Also the increased time cilities such as new books, other schools in the locality. needed for marking takes up Yotirs Sincere^, computers, and supply teach- The OFSTED inspector also precious hours which are nor- Stephen Conlon ers etc. applies the s^e criteria to mally used for setting and special needs children. Is this preparing work. After this the (P.S my parents passed^ Secondly, Lee Hopkins takes fair? teacher feels tired and has a their respective OFSTED as an example, St. Patrick's low morale. And they wonder reports.) Valentine Thoughts HE OTHER DAY Cards to their would-be-love I was casually the probability was that only leafing my way one Card would be sent per Tthrough one of the would-be-couple. With cou- University of Surrey Students' Newsp^er women's magazines ples sending each other cards (why men read these is the number being sent is more Union House, University of Surrey, likely to be four! Why four? another topic worthy of The answer is simple... Just Guildford, Surrey. GÌJ2 5XH consideration at some remember back to that first later stage) when I came Valentine that you shared Phone: (01483) 259275 across an article about with that special person. You Valentine's day. In this would have sent the card that Fax: (01483) 34749 article, it was claimed is blatantly ftom you (or you Advertising: (01483) 259275 that Valentines day was would be in serious trouble), only for couples already but then just to "check up on" Email: b,[email protected] in relationships. the other person, you send an- http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/bf/ "Pha! How unromantic!" I othercard.Thissecondcardis ( shouted. But then doubt ran designed to be completely up behind me and tapped me misleading and to find out Editor - Rob Dorey whether your loving partner on the shoulder. Is this really Secretary - Sophie Rocks will teil you of this card fi-om Sports Editor • FItzy so unrealistic? Maybe in the the "mystery" admirer. Music Editor - Steeve French past Valentines day was a Add onto these 4 cards per Contributors: Bagpus and Emily, Richard Bell, chance to show that special couple the odd joke cards to Catherine Bickley, Lee Hopkins, Sally Kentfield, The somebody, whom you des- fiiends and you soon see why Sabs, Phil Singleton,Campusport, Russ Clark and a few perately fancy, that you actu- the card manufacturers get to more.... ally: a) love them; b) fancy rub their hands in glee and them c) exist. Now it has be- watch the money come roll- come a time when you lavish ing in. gifts upon that person whom Quote of the week "Why iiie Fa» h an Independe« new^apa, pU)llshed b]^ Uihmitf rf you are already with. Convnunlcjtiont Ön
Saturday 17 February 1996, 7.30 pm Guildford Cathedral by kind permission of the Dean & Chapter
^chaikovsky Rococo Variations Soloist: Anthony Woollard cello rff Carmina Burana Soloist: Janette Barklem soprano Paul Bambrough tenor, Robert Rice baritone
Admission £6 (concessions £4) at the door or from the University of Surrey Music Department (01483 259317) Features 7 Stand Up & Be Strange But Counted True OULD YOU a cassette. All the details of he was going to rob the LIKE where and whom to post it off store, gave him a dollar, to can be found in the Bare- STARDOM, FTER A YEARS and asked him to go into W Facts office. The next Na- A the store and buy Shodean ABSENCE untold wealth and the tional Comedy Network night, a scarf that would conceal adorations of millions? February 21st, is in the Union strange but true his identity during the £1000 and a booking on (you've all seen the Virgin fly- returns with more weird, crime. The man took the the National Comedy ers by now, surely). Dylan wild and wacky stories dollar, walked inside, and Moran and Barry Murphy will from the news - all informed the clerk, who Network as a profession be heading the line-up, then its called police. comedian tickles you the turn of the turn of the absolutely true. fancy? wannabes in the Open Mie • In July, the Swiss govern- In her trial for trying to hire spot. ment announced that its a hit man to kill her hus- If you think you have the joke- value-added Tax would ap- band, nurse Emily Super- stealing ability of Lee & Her- No matter you gender, height, ply to sales by prostitutes son denied the charge and ring, the quick-wit of Collins hair colour, favourite football and that beginning in 1995, testified that her desire to and McConey, or the dead- team or preferred brand of hot customers should be sup- see her husband dead was pan of Jack Dee, then write it chocolate, you to can become plied itemised receipts just a fantasy. However, down and give us all the an instant household name showing the 6.5 percent prosecutors produced a chance to laugh at it. with the Open Mie Awards. tax. tape in which a police in- Write down your 5 minutes of Sound good? You bet it does. • As published before, the formant discussed a hit pithy one-liners or rambling Prostitute Information man with Superson, who monologue and record in onto Centre in Amsterdam has said she could not afford to begun offering a six-day pay money but would offer course, for around $ 160, on the hit man oral sex every how to practice the trade in day for the next ten years. the Netherlands. Sessions include a survey of job op- Last spring, officials portunities, a field trip to a stopped a rash of purse- sex bar, a role-playing class snatchings in cloakrooms with an actor portraying a by removing the hooks customer, and a class on fi- from the ladies' room nances to explain the tax- doors (Thieves would deductibility of such reach over the doors and expenses as condoms, remove purses, which leatherwear, and beauty women had hung on hooks aids. while they used the toilet). • A story published in a Chi- The thieves then re-in- nese newspaper tells about stalled the hooks at their a couple who had failed for own expense, facilitating months to conceive a child. the theft rate to rise once A doctor examining the again. woman found her still to be David Hoare, had been ad- a virgin and possessing the mitted to a hospital mental belief that a couple's ward in Leicester, but doc- merely sleeping in the tors concluded he was not a The Dally Telegraph Open Mic Award gives anyone interested same bed constituted a re- threat to others, released in becoming a comic their first chonce to stond up and be funny. productive act. him. Hoare, perhaps want- To enter, "simply send o five minute audio cassette' of your best • Frederick Treesh, one of ing to prove the doctors stand vp matertoi to three men accused of being wrong, stabbed a stranger T/ie Daily Telegraph Open Mk Award. PO Box I6S. WC2H 9NX the gang of "spree killers" to death. Now convicted that terrorised across the We VfiK or/ange for you to perform at a Newcastle Brown Ale Nationol for killing and confined to Comedy Network glg^ at one of 40 leading USA this summer, told to a high security mental hos- universities nationwide. pohce during questioning: pital, Hoare has sued the Those wl>o make it through to the Grand "Other than the two we first hospital, contending Bnaf wit! be taken up to the Edinburgh killed, the two we they should not have let Festival where the winner will be chosen by wounded, the woman we a celebrity panel. him out. He has been pistol- whipped, and the awarded a rumoured The Daily Telegraph Open Mk Award Is In ei IOC io Men wllk light bulbs we stuck in peo- £30,000 in an out-of-court open to oO new comers, and the winner will T ple's mouths, we didn't re- receive a £1,000 prfxe plus a booking on the settlement. Newcastle Brown /Ue National Comedy Network, ally hurt anybody." NATIONAL 'A^k* vm yoo norfc ti» «melt« disco stompings that chanted slaught commences. Unre- each other". With this they SHELTER over and over agaln, and yeah lenting hardcore from the burst into a rather bizarre ver- The Garage - it was shite. Shelter on the nice side of New York city. sión of 'We Can Work It Out' Hìghbury other hand are a little differ- Their Krishna beliefs occa- they just makes the crowd ent, they do not constantly sionally break through, espe- jump even more. They end Feb 6th mention Krishna but prefer to cially when they play with an explosive versión of give US an onslaught of pow- 'Civilized Man' and tum the Youth of Today's 'Break- he last Urne the erful guitar music that can place into one great big heav- down the Walls'. Definately Hari Krishna's only be described as hard- ing moshpit of young punks, the best way to seek shelter. delved into music core. old folk and strangely enough T Simon Shaw it was with Boy George*s pogoing converts, vocalist From the first song 'Message Jesus Love You project. Ray Cappo stops and gentìy of the Bhagavat' their on- asks the crowd to "Be nice to That was almost be ievable, ALBUM REVIEWS plore previously uncharted just as bñlliant as ali of the kicks off with its finest mo- territory and are quick to other tracks that preceed it ment as The Wu-Tang Posse AÍMim OFstam TDp theiEr trademark on and ali those that come after give US 'Winter Warz' which them. The music is fast and it. 'Modem Electronics' is is a fusing slice of hip hop that totally at you every track very nearly perfect. Already a has a double dose of phat mim comes full on and very rarely contender for album of üie VARI0U5 ARTI5T5 beats and seething lyrics. do they slow down. Take for year. With such a quality opening Modem Electronics starters the mouthwatering you are hoping that it contin- Vo\2 excellenceof Ken Ishii's 'Ex- úes all the way through,it tra' as Dave Angel magnifí- VARI0U5 ARTI5T5 (Subversive/CP/LF) does apar from a load of cently remixes it into a whirl crotch grabbing swingbeat ••••••••• Don't 3e A Menace of bleeps and pounding beats. 0.6,1 from the likes of Jodeci, R As musical sequels go, this from then on it takes a some- Kelly and someone called latest collection of new elec- what hypnotic stance with (Island/AII Formate) Joe. trónica it has to be said kicks Bt's 'Earoica' and the stun- seven shades of shite out of ning 'The Theme' by Hot These duff bits aside the rest the first one and that my Lizard which is set to be one is reassuring good stuff in- ftiends, was quite superb. of the years biggest under- Already hailed as one of the cluding current top three dar- ground tunes. funniest American movies of lings Luniz who give us 'We Boasting a host of top ñames ali time 'Don't Be A Menace' Got More'. Other stand out such as Laurent Gamier, Ken Erom hypnotic trance 'Mod- is a cheeky look at gangsta cuts include 'Time To Shine' Ishii, and current golden boy em Electronics' moves into a life. The soundtrack is there- by Lil Kim and more gangsta BT 'Modern Electronics' slightly retro feeling when fore unsurprisingly made up tales from the Lost Boyz. It's pushes further your knowl- Laurent Gamier's 'Dance 2 of a load of black American just a shame that R Kelly had edge of deepest darkest The Music' comes on. It is artists that are largely unsung to thrust his pelvis our way. techno, most of the tracks ex- in this country. The album SINGLES REVIEWS time at all. 'Going Out' once Worthy is what we certainly SINGLES OF again sees Supergrass use a ain't. THE WFFK swirling organ sound that we last heard on 'Mansize 5UFERGRA55 Rooster' whilst Gaz goes HEAVE Goin^ Out sings a Constant chorus that is Fig Fretty memorably catchy and un- (f^adar/Out Now) (Parlophone/26th ashamedly pop. ••••• Feb) Last year's 'I Should Coco' suggested that Supergrass You are probably unaware of would have so much to do if Heave, last year they made 'Going Out' is quite simply they were going to repeat one of the finest records of the the finest pop moment of this their success, on the strength year with 'Suna' and it sold year so far. Supergrass yet of this single it appears that is out within hours of being on again produce a song so no problem. Supergrass have release and the future was in- happy happy joy joy that it is taken Britpop to new lengths, evitably theirs. So I gratefully physically impossible not to and it's hard to see anybody welcomed their new single love it. It is a brass-tinged being good enough con- and prayed that 'Pig Pretty' Supergrass stomper that I guarantee you stantly to stay the distance. would be another classic cou- will ali be humming in no nuJu aomfuaisom <£out mndoux Í^btgí bt *fOUn aoua^ to Aeà of oAoî Qîe ^ÎÀiAmâli^ of ^umt^ ^ai a l^xbÂn^ tniexnedianat í-f f^rtfi fmm ffífí Js^nmf ivainMn. ^o, Ufieoxifou «w^at awloÂy lust e£oul it ^^o^cl*coitatfáofl^aiiímeliofemdiUto udii ffc ggfeaaummdfittiti oot/utoi ihtJeníí a£ ffc* unftumt^ ÌJ&a Ofui U o£ti£cui ftitmfi^p, fua andjnaùiS^ moti bt^uftloìù i^aS, Cuaaing e£aut juejiCtA eufhtv^ buubUemanÁma^ ofùfs. QSt \íráanfJ!a^ame^at toit ¡a aáaiaiin^ At 20 Âffi^eat omxuoA. ^^'wÑrt ¿n oyaiiiing úidemaiienaítvtJt, o^iÁ acnaúí* of malous etnntí tuÁ as:- ipcnU, ^iÂlt t^M t£r {Jntrwn^tífwf^ ^T^fí f^»^*^»^ »rtmf* ^htrfwJ ín ntrrí » fif tÁí* AtMAtn ^tnJo^ ibUt Wuí 2 m áoPZ koJ Ó ¿ffntnt ifuydinß gradi m^Á ineiuAeA ^Atiii^fJf, foo^eíl, êaJminian anJ taéí-izimiA. tJÍu txanoui fo% mesii. kamêeanm^ ftoiiUozwUk an nottate of 3 ieamá.^%soei£^édn^eiiit%ijfo%eacítatat ^om£ of UA nu^ rutnx ^auv. í^ t^ìjicfUiuìU^ to i££ iffo^ úut^ntsvmticnaí^Wué goes, some wa^ in maèing liai tuu. ^o fina^^ '[¡f^ want a ^auoux ofi^ uicnlÁi^m gei uji andjuái wa& in to tfu unten áwdng tveeJt 6 and see fo% ijouissff ^^/¡Unt^tnvna (Paexseas tSecvtax^. Vl TIhanIcs qo TO jU^ Overseas Clubs ancJ Socíetíes wIhose coNTRibuiioNS maIce up tIhís putlouT. ReAíJ on ANd SAMplE SOME of tI-IEÍR CulTURE/RECipES/dANCES/hiSTORy .... The ìrìencIs of Asía SocÍEiy, (aIca F.O.A.S.) ¡S oN£ of ihe IìveIìest ancì ÌREshEST SOCÌETÌES ÌN tÌiE UNÌ. WE'RE A MiXEd buNch of STUdENTS, wIlO aII hAVE ONE ihÌNq ÍN COMMON, lUi dESÌRE TO MAICE TÌIE MOST OUT of OUR shORT UNÍVERSÍTY liVEs! How do WE do This? WeU, by ARRANqiNq AS MANy ORqANiScd EVENTS AS pOSSiblE. TÍ4ESE RANqE fROM TRAdÌTÌONAl EVENTS SUCh AS BllANqRA ANd GllARbA ÒANCES, TO TIIE clubs of tNe West ENdll At present we Nave bEEN (lAviNq foRTNÌqhTiy TRips to clubs suck As Icenì, TNe WAq^ LÌMEliqliT, ANd ANywhERE eISE wllERE WE ThÌNk WE'rE qONNA hAVE A qood tImE. AfTER Alt tÌiat's whAT unì IìFe ¡S aU AboUTi! So whAT eIse do you want to Icnow AbouT T^E F.O.A.S.?? WeU, WE'rE MAdE up of A MÍX of STUdENTS, fROM RrST yEARS TO pOST' qRAds, who aU ENjoy bEiNq part of a lìvEly ANd fRÌENdly COMMUNITY ^^ ^^^ SuRREy. We come From aU areas of iNdÌA ANd PaIÜSTAN, ANd COMbÌNE TO pROduCE whAT WE bEÜEVE TO bE ONE of TIIE MOST ACTÌVE ANd fuNklEST SOCS AROUNdtt Look OUT fOR ThE pOSTERS, ANd joÌN lUi. pARTy! NORWAY - ZERO POINTS? Tkar is prabaUy your inpreníoti of Nomvsü Ú ali yo« liaow abour Nan»ay a wliar gou liaue seeii anJ hearJ is llw Nonuegian coníflbalion in lite Eurouision Song ContuT. Il is trae Norway was ihe firsl coufilry in bislorg lo gel lero poinh in lilis euenl. ít euen kappeneJ severa/ times! NORWAY MEANS ^HE WAY TO THE NORTH" and if sMcU aUq lU wesfcpn coas! of flic ScanJinavIan península. Il Is a counfpii JominateJ L4 mountains, laUs, fjoiJs and forests. AlmosfUftU countpij lies alxjve tlie Apcfic Circle. TLs impiies a coid cllmate, one sliould Ikink. But no, not alwaijs. Oslo, wíitcii is fU capital of Mopwaij, Ld tke licat record (!) out of ali European capital citles, wifh an avepaqe tempepature of 33 dcqrees Celsius in ihe montli of Maij In 1993! Wlio would liavc telleved tkat? It is quite nopmal lo qo swimminq in tke sea (wLcli Uds atout 18-20 deqpees Celsius) dupinq tlie summer montlis of June, Julq and Auqust. Summep niqMs ape lonq and often wapm wltli sunsets around midniqlit, op no sunset at ali In ttie noptii! Wintcps ape coId fop 3-4 montks witli Icts of snow and temperatupes apound minus 20 deqpees! Gpeat scasonol clianqes, in otLcp wopJs - we love it! If ijou appive dupinq aulumn qou would flnd tlie mountains ali pcd, opanqe and ijellow. It almost looks liU tlie natupe is on fipe! Autumn is aiso tlie qpeat liuntinq season, wlien qou can hunt elk, paindeep and ptapmiqans (bipds). We ape old "Vilinqs pcmemUp! Furtliernore. Norwag lias a population oF 4.2 raillion. Our grealesl inuenlion is llir. clier.se sliceri Nonway Is a ricli counirg, ikanks lo llie oil, Fish and walerFalls (wliick produce our eteclricilyl). AnJ since we are so Few, we are lucliy lo enjoy a bigb slandard oF liuing. If tkepe is anijlLnq else ijou want lo Itnow alDOut Mcpwaij or Piopweqians, come and talL to us. riopweqians are actuallij quite fpiendiq people, aItLuqli old mullís moij teli ijou tlie opposite. Tlie Mopweqian society, MORSOC, liolds around 160 mcinUrs. In accordance witli our tpaditions, we arranqe evenis and papties as often as we can, so come and join us, and we will leacli ijou now to sinq: HEISKAL! UMIVERSITY OF SUJRREY iLj rvj I ci> r-J WEEK ENDINO FRIDAY FEB 24th ffi Life As Borîng^ As You Are'P Saturcl3y THTFÛNKY NIGHT OUT GUESTS FEATURING Mike Fob-Gere cind ALLOWiD The Permissive Socielu snaa £3 ALL ^ £1 ON TH€ DOOR Sunday IVI on day FREE RANI) COCKTAILS EMPORER SLY From l^he upper bar , Tuescl3y tt • The GM 1 pm Mam Union JRTERRmOm EXIì3B3T30R FREE ERTKY - m™ îffiîôH Xhursday Rriday Rose Bar FRIDAY HIGHT Private Party OUT Other Info Jcl A RirHT 1 Tth FEB lOpm ISi¥EIISBATI08BALi IWEEK MONDAY 19TH International Quiz Mght Hdyn Rose Bar (Free Entry) 7.30-n.00pm TUESDAY 20TH EXHIBITION NIGHT - FREE ENTRY 9.00pin-11 .OOpm FRIDAY 23RD ^aéa^ Hù^ ßomfiicx) 7.00firn - Í2.30 Bharata Natyam is the ancient cultural dances of Tamils. And the miracle is that, Bharata Natyam has survived for nearly 3000 years in India and Sri Lanka. The term Bharata was derived from three essential aspects of the art; 'Bha' from Bhavam (expression), 'ra' from Ragam (musical mode) and 'ta' from Talam (time measure). Bharata Natyam, as if is known today, strives to portray through rhythmic movement, facial expression and symbolic gestures, the ^iritual awakening of the human soul and its longing for enlightenment. The Qods who are the supreme examples of human realisation are adored, praised and supplicated in every song, and the dancer is the instrument through which a prayer is made real and given outer expression. achievement is through the grace of the Qod Shiva, who is the primary guru of dance of Hindu trinity. The order of preference in a formal Bharata Natya concert is Alarippu, Jathiswaram, Shabdam, Vamam, Patham, Yavali and Tillana. The dancer in Bharata Natyam, is the devotee and praises Qo HOK6 KON6 STUDENT SOCIETV HERE IS A RECIPE OF A POPULAR CHINESE DISH: SWI£ET AND SOUR PORK ¡NGSEDt&ftS: 120Z PORK 1 TAFIL£^>OON SOVA SAUCE 1 TABLESPOON WINE 1 £66 PINCH OF SALT AND PEPPER SW^ AND SOUR SAUCE: 2 TABLESPOONS WATER 2 TABLESPOONS TOMATO KETCHUP 2 TABLESPOON VINE6AR Vs TEASPOON CORNSTARCH 1 TABLESPOON SUGAR (OR TO TASTE) 1. POUND THE PORK AND CUT INTO 1 INCH CUBES. 2 MIX AU IN6REDIENTS EXCEPT STARCH. 3 ADD STARCH AND MIX WITH FINGERS UNTIL NO L0N6ER STICKV. 4 HEATOILIN ADEEPFATFRVINGPA-N. 5 ADD PORK AND FRV TWICE (THIS WILL INCREASE THE FIjWOUR AND MAKE THE PORK CRISP). 6 POUR SWEE T AND SOUR SAUCE OVER FRIED PORK. 7 SERVE HO T. ^Mq SÙNQAPôm lUe ^lat^ MUufopiPie amOdià. o^ tuM^ equai liMÀfatiiai ieoUiM>u., >iedaiùOAu4iU&. ÙK the upfì&i l^t oatäo*t U. uÂiU man^ nJüU uJuU éi^tti^iei- pautadin^ and eu&daóiùu:^ p44fùÌ4^ atuL i^iniue. *7ké (yiedoe*U mum '¡epnedeHUaifM4ifHaÙo*iOM-Ìii»aéceHÌ, iUuttwuìied ^ Ut» ideali- demootaoif^ peac&, fìAo^^eié^ fttdÌÌo& * Ute Repfiblic of IWrfeey is located wliere Enrope and Asia oieet. * IW^ish belongs to tìie f^ral-Altaie lai^aage gronp. Ifs wrìtten in the 1 alpiiabet and is spoken by some 150 milUon in tlte worid. * S5% of tiie OS million inhabüants lire in tlie conntr^ide. 91a|or ctties are; Instanbid (10m>, Ankara, th» eaj^tal (5m>, Izanir (3m>. * AMiioagli 90% of the population are Mnslems, IVirkey is a seevdar state, whieli gnarantees complete freedom of worship to non-Mnslems. * 'Airfeey is a foondli^ m^nber of tlte OECD, a nMWiber of K^TO and tlte Conncil of Europe. * Tnrkey Jolned tlte European Union at the b^inning of 1090. * Siitee tite ado^on of «he Republiean CÌTÌI Code In 1926, copied fnun the Swiss Civil Code, males and females ean marry only one sponse. * Eemaies bave entirely ali rights that males bave in ali aspects of life Turkey has wonderful landscapes, rare wildlife, tracldess mountains, enticing golden beaches, abundant sunshìne and marvellous liistorical sites, where Hittites, Phiygians, lonians, Lycians, Macedonians, Romane, Byzantines, SeljHuks and Ottomans have ali left their legacy. Hospitality is one of the comerstones of Turkish life. Even the poorest peasant feels bound to honour his guest in the best possible manner, There are many more things to say but due to spacc limitations we wish to end this article with an expression by Mustafa Kemal ATATÜKK, the founder of modem Turkey: "Peace at Home, Peace in the World". Music 9 pie of minutes of fine guitar again but if they did the result avoiding that 'Scum' is a THE ALMIGHTY an tics. would be quite breathtaking. scorching mixture of youthful angst and sheer brilliance. In AH Sueôed Out However, much to my dismay Firstly this crazy keyboard tot^ a taste of future things, (Chryöalli6/26th it tums out instead to be noth- plinks away with a glimmer of this will grow on your until it's ing more than an average gui- a tune whilst a film noir guitar time to seek medical attention. Feb) tar tune that struggles to make sound hums along not entirely ••••• some form of tune. 'Pig in tune. The singer is far from Pretty' is standard indie rub- perfection to, out of time, a bit THE AUTUER5 bish that rocks well enough shambolic but at the same time Li^ht Aircraft On Bloody hell! Within seven and sounds like countless just as good as old Nick Cave seconds of this record starting other bands that you've prob- has ever been. 'Let Me Into Pire we are subjected to a million ably never heard of. Your Heart' is wonderfully (Hut/Out Now) guitars cranking and crashing disjointed mess that is hard to away in a traditional heavy B-Side 'Viewfmder' is alter- ignore. metal kind of way. Along wi^ natively much better and is that comes a typical gruff savagely cruel and quite mar- Single of the week if it wasn't voice which croaks away in vellous actually. PU^E MO^NING for the obvious and somewhat the verses and raises to a total 5cum depressing genius of that shout in ail the usual places. damned Supergrass band. The But whilst they are rocking THE (Kadar/Out Now) only fault with The Autuers is away in the background in UN50PHISTICATE5 that the singer Luke has a vo- comes a sodding trumpet that Let Me Into Your cal almost the same as dear old has come striaght off a Jimmy Thom Yorke's and this will no bloody Nail record and it Heart Another young bunch of gui- sOunds totally out of place. Al- tar maestros that unless you doubt be referenced more than (Radar/Out Now) the fact that it is a great single. though it is by far the most caught those gloomy buggers enjoyable part of the record. The Fall on their last tour most 'Light Aircraft On Fire' is an people will be unfamilliar ace couple of minutes pop 'Ail Sussed Out' is The Al- with. Basically 'Scum' is the The unique sound of The Un- blast that strolls along nicely mighty's out look on life, kind of song that would be sit- sophisticates is a genius one with Luke's well trained voice don't let the bastards grind you ting proudly in the top ten if that will make you either Standing out over the constant down and if they do then grunt Radiohead had recorded it. It eringe with hatred or make guitar noise that is as poppy as a lot, untie your hair and thrash is a weil sung pop tune that has you dizzy with delight. Their The Autuers get. it about it. Certainly not the a distorted guitar ripping sound is the voices of Ba^ finest record you'll ever hear shreads into it. It is fluent in Adamson and Nick Cave witìi Easily the bands finest mo- but it is probably the best thing repeating it's chorus and de- some bizarre jazz rock nood- ment to date and it seems that that The Almighty will do, velops from being ali quiet and lings for music. The song itself ail that hanging around with mainly because it's almost a moody to being an all out rant. ramblas off into several weird Steve Albini has paid off. POP RECORD!! Whatever trends and never quite meet up Even if it does sound like Ra- next. At times it nudges into an old diohead. Classic album ahoy! Senseless Things riffbut Steeve French The Totally Ace Bloody Big Blur Giveaway!!! You ain't gonna believe this "STEREOTYPES' the latest one! Those lovely young top single from the BLUR ruffians Blur have just gone boys. and released their new single All you have to do to stand a "Stereotypes' and Bare Facts chance of winning this mound has only gone and teamed up of booty is answer this fairly with top record company Food easy questi on to bring you this fantastic compétition in which you can WHAT MEMBER OF BLUR win not ONE but EIGHT top RECENTLY OBTAINED Blur prizes! On offer we HIS PILOTS LICENCE? have:- (due - It's not Dämon) 1) SHOWTIME VIDEO - I must point out that this is a Filmed atThe Ally Pally. NATIONAL COMPETI- 2) STARSHAPED VIDEO - TION and therefore you can Life before Tarklife' enter as many times as you 3) An unreleased Japanese B- like. Either put your answers SIDES CD with your name and address in 4) An exclusive Japanese the Bare Facts box or send "Barking Dog Parklife' CD them directly to:- (When you open it, it's eyes Stereotypes Compétition, hash and it er, barks at you. Lots. It's got extra tracks. Oh BEATWAX and it's worth £80). Unit 207 5) A Set of BLUR posters. The Old Gramophone Works 6) 2 BLUR T shirts 326 Kensal Road 7)THEBLURB00K LONDON //è jìlni oj 9ulnness jor 8) A copy of W10 5BZ 10 Film and Cinema Johnny Mnemonic 96 mine terms like cyberspace national corporation who hire make a film in the states these and cyberpunk. the Yakuza (the Japanese Ma- days, such compromises are Cert. FG "Neuromancer" also saw fia) to get it back. Thus starts necessary. new life breathed into a tale of big business versus 5tars: Keanu little guy and guess who The second problem is that if science fiction, helping wins? you're not into this type of Reeves, Ice-T, Dolph to make it one of the most thing then you won't enjoy iund^ren. Dina relevant and exciting "Johnny Mnemonic" is bril- this film. Gibson never ex- literary genres around liant. Gibson's screenplay plains what his techno babble Meyer, Henry Collins. today. A decade later and builds on the original story, means which can be a bit con- fleshing it out into a classy bit fusing. He also has a habit of finally Gibson's work of science fiction cinema. not letting you know what's Director: (Robert hits the big screen with The cast are superb (even going on until the very end, Lon^o. his movie adaptation of Doiph Lundgren!), proving and even then there are still "Johnny Mnemonic", a that you don't need loads of elements that you can't figure ET US TELL 1981 short story that big names to pull off a top out. Whilst this type of thing Gibson had published in movie. The whole thing cap- has been watered down in the Omni magazine. tures the feel of Gibson's transition to the big screen it L work perfectly, from the well can still leave the viewer a YOU A STORY. The plot revolves around In the mid 1980's Johnny (Reeves) who carries realised trips into cyberspace little confused if they don't to the oppressive society pay attention. data for clients in brain im- science fiction was dying where huge corporations rule. a death. The genre had plants. On what should be his All in all though, "Johnny become stagnant and last job, Johnny overloads his There are, however, a couple Mnemonic" makes for a predictable. Then along implants, resulting in synap- of downsides to "Johnny cracking night out and puts Mnemonic". Firstly, the forward the strongest case so carne new boy William tic seepage which will kill him in twenty four hours if he screenplay has had to make far for a 1990's "Bladerun- Gibson, with his first doesn't get the data out. concessions for Hollywood's ner". nove! "Neuromancer" style of film making. Hence Problem is though, the data Overall score =8/10. which won him the two we get an upbeat ending and has been stolen from a multi- a few cheesy moments along top intemational science the way, but if you want to fiction literary awards and brought the worId Lost in Space MAGINE how the crew of the of Apollo 13 this and won't be retumed until he Apollo 13 mission felt weekend (LTG: Sunday finds a successor. If you feel sorry for this chap, come when they developed 5pm, 8pm, Monday I along (only for 20 minutes!). YOURSELF problems in space, 8pm) and learn how to DRIVING in the wondering whether they keep yourself sane next The Arts Cinema is showing Farinelli II Castrato this heart of Essex, breaking would ever find time you have engine trouble in Essex. Tickets Wednesday (lecture theatre down, and finding there civilisation again. Come G, 8pm) - the story of the are no AA telephones available via the OFU along to OFU's showing box in the Union Castrato singer whose amaz- ing voice would give women anywhere. You're mailroom (using the beginning to understand 'musical orgasms', which he coupon in BF) upto an used to seduce them (then Temporary Membership hour before the showing. passing them too his brotìier). (Ticket) We have a special showing Fame and fortune do not sat- this Tuesday at 6pm in LTH - isfy him, for he dreams of per- it's the story of an everyday forming Handel's work rather than his brother's. Name film society and its members' sexploits. TTiere's also a sec- Tickets available as for Apolo 13, or from the bottom of Sen- retary who is gradually losing ate House. his sanity, but they can't oust Film him because no-one wants to take his place. He yearns to InsHwtioiu : 1 Fill in tbi> ticket 2 Plaoe tiekM in OFU box (ioùde poA toon in the Union) return to his native Botswana 3 Go to filmwhl i £2.00 but his passport is confiscated Classifieds 11 ¥ Samara, Happy Valentine's ¥ Angelo, my Italian Stallion, bad either! Always yours Personals Day! From your secret ad- Where have you been ali my Cuddle monster xxx mirer. life? Love Miss X. ¥ M -1 think we will both have w Pravin J. Thanks for all those ¥ There was a cool hunk called ¥Sexy Blonde Fresher Seeks to conclude that the Inter- ads. Does this mean the war James, called James cos they Valentine. Contact bs54sm. flora van got lost en route is over? ran out of names. Some say ¥ROSS, 3 into 1 does go! again this year »Noel: have U been 2 the he's a twat, some say he's a ¥Stuart M - We Love U !!! ¥ Bambi - Sorry about Friday. greyhound yet? prat, but he's really good in SBS Girlies. I really do care - more than vit's time captain Bulls**i bed is our James. ¥ Bri: 1-0 not to die Blades you know! All my love al- moved up to corporal ¥ Jenny and Nat, will you be ¥To my valentine Jimmy, I ways - Jaws Bulls**t- N my Valentines, "jack" love you and miss you Vxx ¥Alex 'Paddington' Beston, vDCT Happy Valentines ¥Stie, ILove You ¥ Jon (W3) - Let's integrate... our little love muffm we all Day! With lots of Love and ¥ANITA(Dancel)It takes ¥ Mobile, Pack your jumper as love your sexy questions Kisses (all over you). Mxxx Two! Iceland is coid this year. En- love chem Ist year ¥ Many thanks to Alan, Crew ¥ Rob at House 65.1 did mean ¥ House 57, I love you ^I. gaged and all involved with the you. Be advised to check Have a lovely Valentine's Charter Ball. It was a fantas- ¥Rich Happy Valentine's your postbox Day. tic night out. More of the Day. Can't wait till the ¥ Dear Delvin, you are the ¥SILKA, YOU know who I same next year please. weekend! XXX sunlight of my life, I love am, l'm free and single and »S.U.A.V.E Day - February ¥ David, Sorry for ali the has- you from Granny xxx need you ! 8th 1996 - who eise sle that l've caused. Love D ¥ To all ladies I am on my way. ¥ David Mint is a plonger and knows????? XX he lives in House 51 and his Dom the stage crew tart ¥ColinonBoume2-NO!!!!!! ¥ My sweet peach, I love you girl friend is (...?) ¥Wembly - I will be there vHoover of the FBI (Fat with ali my heart. I hope St. ¥ATTENTI0N! ALLIS- soon Del +UOS club Blöke Incident) wraps up Vals day will bring us every- TAIR ROSS(eel), can I be ¥ Potato, Baked Potato, Rosie another case of facial muti- thing we dreamed of - your on your insurance? HONG is red Jimbo is Blue We love L lation honeymoon ¥ For my darling Softie - the ¥ Babe Mania, 5 weeks are up, Potatoes Mais oui pour Q! ' » What's that lump under the mushiest, loviest Valentines lets go ali the way love Mr MoneyPenny, duvet...it's pissed tart! wish ever. Also for the Ad- ¥ Mystic Warrior - if you want Rosie and Jim vLost: Four hours of Julia's miral, my choclatie muscle- to get DEEP, don't be shy! ¥TO Hannah I LOVE YOU party. If found please return man & Freddie!! E. from your little love gnome, cxxxx to Pissed Tart, Loveshack ¥Dinesh, Happy 21st Birth- ¥ Dear Anne, I love your chilli vTo S.M.Perera,(Batu Ate) day! From MD I love your way ali in ali I ¥ Gosh, I really feel like some Have a great Valantine's ¥ Hello Louise, I love you re- love you. Bob trifle! Hint, hint! xx day!! From DCT ply to DOMS Ms51mf. I ¥ Darling Nathalie, You are ¥To the first of many with ¥ Scowling Bird, I think I love need you. my day time You are my 'my man' love always Spa you. ¥ To the men in stage crew, I nightime You are my XXX vThat's where I, caught her am slowly making my way dreamdme, You are my Val- ¥ To Cooky I love you eye. through you love, Anna. entine. J.E.D. Thomas ¥ Nick when can we try your »Skinny, L.B. says likes the ¥ House 58, let the war begin ¥Eva, How about a ride in handcuifs S+M club taste of it! 1! your fantasy stabìes? ¥ You're sexy and charming, vDuncan, What vaccinations ¥Torstein,you're my Won- ¥ To Terry's little men: Happy you're sweeter than honey do we need to go up north? derwall and I hope it will be Valentines Day! Love the You are fun, you are witty, lan & BJ you and me forever. I am Cheerleaders! you're my little bunny You're my cuddly and ten- tNursie Becky - I'm yours if sorry if I have hurt you, be- ¥TO Suki, your the BEST! der soft warm teddy bear you want meÜ! cause I know from the bot- Luv Rexxx You're my darling and ¥ Happy Valentines day to all tom of my heart that I will ¥Berrb, How about some someone that 1' 11 never share Top Tottie!! always love you.Yours AA" more French kissing, Lone J.E.D. ¥lLOVE YOU!!! ¥ SILKA, Water is my life, so Shegger et al ¥HOW does it go, BJ: "Honest why not dive in with me and ¥Be afraid Be very afraid - ¥Saturday night, trolley bird I DIDN'T get off with her". be my valentine. Steve! felt sick. why? too many ke- ¥We should get together babs. Love from bird nest We believe you! ¥Lots of hugs and kisses to some time. Meet me outside ¥ Plaque, Cheer up - some- ¥W0MAN!!!!!!! you on Valentines day ! xxx the Union (cash machine) at body loves you! Happy Va- ¥ And HE sucks as well. ! ¥ Clockwise in an anti clock- 4.OOpm on Wednedsay. Îenines from the Babes! ¥ lan, do you eat pie and mash wise kind of way girl: we are Love Sarah XXX ¥ Keri + Roque Who said you atevery meal!!!From B.J. one thing l's sure of! (I do ¥ Dear Tony at Avo, I love you had to be in a couple to enjoy ¥ God at Blackwater !. Maybe think so!xxx) from Steve Valentines Day?? Love if you cut your hair Jo might ¥ Happy Valentines to ali de- ¥To the tart of house 15 - Miss Lonely Heart - NOT!!! even dance with you. From pressed single people in what's Donna getting for ¥ I apologise to ail those who B.J. House 65 - death to cou- Valentines? You? had the misfortune to get in ¥ Charter ball: thanks to who- ples!! ¥ Shant. I think that you're re- my way in my haste to leave ever bought me home, and ¥MJ the Norwegian Soc is ally sweet for putting those the Charter Bail (esp. Selfish left my pants intact ready and willing, go get ads in for me. B* on the steps) Sam ¥NOW the sabbatical voting is them Tiger! ¥ Alan D. Talk to me, l'il talk ¥To Cooky Happy 21st Birth- over, only one question re- ¥ Jill, I want to bake my bake to you. day Lots + lots of love 'N' mains: who has the biggest my little potato in your oven hugs from everybody ¥To Movie star: Holly your 'Mango' in Surrey court? love Pussy Calore ¥Leppy I love You R.P. ¥ Don't go 'blind' still my valentine and love. ¥ Robin, how about some in- (M.S.E) XXX ¥ RL: in future cloths will be Studmuffin. terplay on the net? Cyber ¥ Darling M, have a wonderful used in preference to ¥To sex god Zameer, when Queen. you are near, my heart goes night I know I will Luv and tongues ¥ lAN N. I love you so much a flutter, as I hear you Mut- Hugs S? and your mate Norris ain't ter. 12 Classifíeds and Crossword Notices Duke of Edinburgh Society Crossword No. 20 is currently planning an expe- dition for the first week of the This week there are four an- summer vacation. It will swers with the same due! count as an assessed practice, Across ali those interested, come l 2 l3 I 5 \ Í5 I I along to our meeting, every I.In Stitches(lO) Tues. 6pm LTB. New mem- 7. Wed (7) bers always welcome. 8. CoatofaUniform (5) I 10. Dash - and find a riverside Biker Soc AGM, Tuesday plant (4) =1=1=|-1=1 27th Feb, 8pmTB19 II. In the distant past (5,3) Canoe Club Pool Sessions 13. Tm given a couple - to Every Thursday Meet in Un- spoil! (6) •mzizizi ion at 9pm 15. Sound condition (6) 17. Thrilling (8) AMSTERDAM 18. Cost (anag.) - for one in weekends Glasgow! (4) Local Pick Up 21. To desire - something in Friday Evenings weekìy eamings! (5) Return Sunday Aftemoons 22. A gas-bag (7) 23. In Stitches (10) £39 01252 851644 Down Group Organisors 1. Male deer (5) Also Required 2. Part of the finger (4) Access - Visa 3. Really - in a legai docu- menti (6) PhotoSoc AGM 19th Feb 4. Slowed down (8) 6pm Grant Mitchell Ropm 5. Flattering letters (3,4) Law Soc By-Electìon 22nd 6. In Stitches (10) 24. resents 25. bless Down I. coward 2. manic 3 Feb LIS Coffee Room 9. In Stitches (10) Down 1. lobby 2. hearken 3. drier 5. postman 6. granule 7. 12. Gave ear (8) ruse 4. dodgem 5. ensuring 6. treaty 9. gastritis 14. regimes UoS Mountaineerìng Club 14. A parcel (7) abase 7. deep-sea 12. caul- 15. fanfare 16. embryo 17. AGM, 2pm Wed 21st Feb at 16. To empower (6) dron 13. bolster 15. outcome hyenas 20. group 21. timid Campusport Climbing Wall 19. What a shepherd uses (5) 16. stocks 18. camps 20. MathSoc AGM Mon 19th 20. Highest male voice (4) Moses 21. blab Crossword Compíled by Feb Ipm 10AA21 Jeff Blackham Last Weeks Solutions No. 19 Across 1. comedy 4. Elee Eng EGM Monday No. 18: Across 1. Lehar 4. spigot 8. winding 10. stare 11. 19thFeb5pmLTH. die-hard 8. braised 9. stake records 12. mount 13. prefer- ences 18. Megan 19. tightly Windsurfing Race Meeting 10. yoke 11. fearless 13. ban- tam 14. angora 17. locality 22 rumba 23 showman 24. Mon 19th Feb Ipm Chancel- oyster 25. spades lors 19. item 22. timer 23. callous The Perfect CV Mind you, for most jobs it those things which are rele- up the yellow leaflet called will not be in your interests to vant to your application. If "Curriculum Vitae" in the CTUALLY, TVE produce an unusual CV. It you've done a Professional display rack at the far end of A should look attractive, but not Year, for example, you the Careers Service. CRIBBED the bizarre. You'd do well to get should give this greater title for this article it laser printed on a decent prominence on your CV than ril write more about CV's from a book of the same quality paper. It is also a other more casual jobs. Ifyou next week, especially about how to use them for job-hunt- ñame. In fact, there good idea to embolden a few are going for degree-related key words such as your de- employment you should pro- ing. In the meantime, if you really is no such thing as gree subject or job titles, es- vide a breakdown of your want US to check over your a perfect CV because peciaily where they are course which emphasises the CV we'd be glad to. relevant to the job you're ap- relevant subjects you have there are no rules about Russ Clark plying for. covered. Basically you've what you can or can't put Careers Service init. í'vebeencollecting What you choose to put in the got to anticipate what the em- ployer wants to read and CV is cruciai. l've seen 5- P.S. There are stili places CV's for years and they leave out the irrelevant. This page CV's with the person's available for the Workshop are ali different. One of could mean it ends up on one life history on it. Bearing in we are running on Assess- page. A two page CV is OK them is presented in the mind the average CV gets ment Centres on Wednesday as well. Three pages is prob- form of a cartoon strip, about two minutes of an em- 21 February at 2.15 p.m. in ably too long. another one has a picture ployer's time, this doesn't LTA. Piease come in to the of someone trapped seem like a good idea. So Careers Service to book your you have to emphasise only By the way, if you'd like to place. inside a bubble with the see a model CV, why not pick caption underneath "untapped potential". Campusport and Sports 13 Barn Dancing In The Mugged University Hall!! Men's Hockey Ist XI10 Thames Valley 0 es - on Friday teaching everyone and and Julian Dicks, and for the lunch times anyone how to Barn second half Surrey spent most Ystarting TODAY, Dance. OLLOWING A of the time avoiding amputa- Friday 16th February, The sessions are ali part of the tions. The net resuit of this F there will be a Caller and Interdepartmental Sports Pro- DEPRESSING was T.V.U. spending ten min- gramme - if you would like to LEAGUE defeat utes with 3 of their 10 defend- Barn Dance Band join in contact your Depart- the day before, and even ers in the 'sin-bin'. This gave ("Square Roots") setting mcntal Sports Rcp or simply more depressing news sums the chance to roll out of the atmosphere and tum up at 1.0-1.50 p.m. defense; however his stoamch that the 2nd XI had wen had decided he was not to at Brunei that aftemoon, score. This was not a problem, the team took to the pitch however with T.V.U. goal- Beginners Line Dance with something to prove. keeper waving the bail past Golf 'Leap Day' And prove it they did, from ail angles and Surrey scoring a further five goals, with a win, the like of with two each from Ba- new 4 week Golf Social which has not been seen nanaman and Jan and one Course starts on this decade. from Vadge in the Sharker po- Tuesday 27th It's "Hoe-Down" at the VAR- The opening few minutes sition (K. Sutra, p90). A SITY CENTRE on Thursday February 6.(X)-7.00 p.m. were neck and neck, with 29th February, 7.30 - 10.30 T.V.U. having perhaps the By this time the supporters Our Professionals, p.m. were going wild (or should best chances. But soon, Bel- Nathan and Paul, will The bar will be open and Ray that be 'going to the bar') at gian import Jan van Heel took help you produce the and Lesley will be leading the prospect of Surrey record- Murray's advice and beat simple American Line dances ing their best win in living perfect golf swing! ! Four seven T.V.U. playere and two - teaching beginners or help- memory. Thanks to Steve and places are stili available Surrey players before firing ing those who are regular line lan (umpires) and Kristina, so hurry - it's only £5 for past a bemused goal-keeper. dancers to show their Becld, John and Colin for sup- Four more goals were to fol- the course with a DOSH paces.Donations will be made porting - bring on the L.S.E. low before half-time, from card (otherwise it's £7 to the British Heart Founda- Stuart Mitchell, Jan (again!) "Silver Temples" and for students). tion as part of "Dance to the Jason Rodgers and Ba- "Detective Starsky" Heart Beat". nanaman. T.V.U. half-time team talk Vnìveriily of Surrey was given by Vinnie Jones The Varsìty Centre Ladies Hockey BEERS OF THE 1 V LSE 7th WORLD Feb 1996 N THE BLEAK disappointment as there MIDWINTER....we were no half-time 11 it had been oranges, but we I continued, and got two snowing, but would we more goals in the second let that stop us? NEVER! half another from Armed with our trusty Caroline and one from bandanas - we had to Giare Richardson. EXHIBITION keep our heads warm, we As there were no teas pro- A Wide selection of Ales, Lagen and Cask Condiiioned Been. 'stormed' out onto the vided, and we were extremely pitch to face LSE. The hungry after excelling our- The best of ales from Belgiuoi, Germany, France, Brítain, USA, first half saw 4 selves to win 6-0, we just had Czecboslovakia, Soutta America, Eastem Asia and much more ! to pop in to McDonalds to m AMAZING goals two keep our strength up. At least Friday, 23rd February - Starts 7:00pni from Caroline Hughes we got through one round of and two from Julia our piate compétition, and Ali Welcome Davies (a bit of a we're playing at home so we birthday tradition for won't get lost finding the Julia to score on her pitch!! Célébrations were as FREE ADMISSION birthday! and we don't normal, only the coverbands kept quiet this week! ! just mean on the hockey For more détails ring 01483 259242, (Internal Ext 9242). pitch!!!). Rather a Kate Hutchings, Julia Davies and Rachael Colley 14 Sport International Sports Badminton and Table-Tennis Tournaments Date: Sunday 11th February Ong Ah Chwee, with Ling second year running. Resuit and Edwin/Su-en). The for- 1996 scraping through 25-23. So of the final: Yusof (Malay- mer pair edged tìirough 18- into the last 16 we went. The sia) defeated Phanos (Cy- 17. The second semi-final Time: 9am-lpm two matches of the round prus) 21-9; 21-16. produced a surprise result, Venue: Campusport were; Tolga (Turkey) against with Richard and Vanessa Yusof (M^aysia), which was The Badminton competition (HK) defeating the pre-tour- a repeat of last year's final. sees 16 pairs of players, rep- nament favourites, Pity these two were drawn resenting the Malaysian, Sin- Yusof/Suriani (Malaysia)15- TODAY SEES against each other so early in gapore, Hong Kong and 1. THE LAST TWO the toumament. Yusof ended Intemational Societies, bat- of the up winner, by 21-15. An- ding it out in the mixed dou- On io the final, and this was International Sports other match of great interest bles competition. With the one of the most lop-sided fi- competition taking sees Jos Chang and Chungie help of Rob Deedman, of the nals in the touraament's his- place. Despite the early from the InterSoc fighting for Badminton Club, the touma- tory, with RichardA^anessa start, quite a few a quarter-final place. Josjust ment got under way at about of Hong Kong beating enthusiastic overseas edges through 21-11. Yusof 10 am. We all expected the Narum/Chin Chin of Singa- students tumed up for the (Malaysia), when asked, said Malaysians to completely pore comprehensively to win that he was relieved to play dominate the event, but as it the badminton cup. two indoor tournaments turned out, a big surprise was held in Campusport. Tolga early on, because he Result of the final: thought he would have an in stall for all the spectators. The Table-Tennis competi- There were a few close tion attracted about 45 play- easy passage to the title. It Richard/Vanessa (Hong proved to be correct, as he matches in the first round, Kong) defeated ers representing 10 overseas completely dominated the most notably the match be- Narum/Chin Chin(SÌDga- societies. Because of the size rest of his games. The semi- tween Michael / Alison (Sin- pore) 15-1;15-1. of the draw, 6 preliminary- final sees Ling Tok Kiat (Sin- gapore) and Rozali A big thank you to various round matches had to be gapore) losing to Yusof /NorAmni (Malaysia), which people: To Rob Deedman of played to decide who joined 10-21, whilst Phanos the ended 15-13 in the favour of the Badminton club for hin- the others in the main draw. Cypriot sensation defeated the Singaporeans. Richard ning the touraament, to Nitin One of the closest fought Zaki ftom Malaysia 21-15. and Vanessa (Hong Kong) Sharma for running around, matches was the one between (Phanos should count himself stormed through their first to Campusport staff for being Rohayu (a lady representing lucky, as he reached the final round match 15-1, and Ken / Susan (Hong Kong) got so helpful, and to ali the over- Malaysia) and Chungie (In- after playing 3 easy games seas students for waking up (compared to Yusof s 5). But through 15-2. The quarter fi- terSoc), with Chungie edging so early and showing the in the end the différence of nals were all very closely out as 21-15 winner. The 2nd spirit of the game: Play hard, class told, and Yusof tri- fought matches, and the semi round draw was dominated finals saw two Singaporean play fair, enjoy yourselves. by players from Singapore umphed 21-9, 21-16, to take the table-tennis crown for the pairs fighting it out for one and M^aysia. Ling Tok Kiat final spot (Narum/Chin Chin Jose of Singapore had be drawn to play his fellow countrymaThn e Polykiller Fellas Hertfordshire 1 Surrey Ist IX 3 URREY ONCE Huchinson and the out of passed two of them leaving hurricane, sweeping the AGAIN SHOWED form Gary Barr. only the keeper to beat, but length of the pitch, he^ on. the keeper had closed down their supremacy at Huchinson killed the ball in Now it was Hatfield's tum, S an instant and stroked it to the angle well. Richie had well it should have been but God's game and set Barr who had drifted into a also, it seemed, over ran the they were poor to say the about the demolition of Wide position to receive it. ball slightly and had to cor- least. "Riey just could not un- Herts (Hatfield Poly). Barr found wing wizard Den- rect this by drifting out wide. lock the door to the Surrey All was seemingly lost, but ney who left the full-back pat- defence. A splendid break- Surrey dealt with early from an angle that would ting out flames on his thighs away goal from on loan left attacks from the Poly have given Pythagoras a nose midfielder Rob Harkness after a thorough roasting and boys without even bleed Dickie curled the ball drove the final nail in the Hat- delivered a textbook cross for over the keeper's head and field coffin. 0-3 breaking out in a sweat, Dave Upton to rise like a into the net. 0-2 Hatfield scored a pikey goal although sweating would salmon and head the ball into The half-time whistle could at the end due to a mix up have been quite a feat the onion bag. 0-1 not come soon enough for between Dan Yeoman and considering the -20°C The next goal can only be de- Hatfield as endless waves of Joe Smith, who when ques- conditions. The first scribed as pure magic from Surrey attacks promised to tioned later said they were a Surrey goal came from centrocampista Richie Patti- pay dividends. Were it not for bit "bored". 1-3 son. He picked up the ball by clinically incisive one their cat-like keeper they Next round the dispatching of intercepting yet another poor could have been 5 or 6 down. Kingston (Poly). touch play between the pass from the Poly fellas and The second half-was a terrier like midfield promptly set about their back slightly different story as Sur- Baresi powerhouse Jamie four. He weaved his way rey faced the rather strong sport 15 CLUB PROFILES (Number 14 ) Club: Aérobics Most trouble club has been in: Broken stereo with no head Club Members: 169 - 200 mie Training Nights: Tues, Weds Amusing memories: Cari & Sun (am) Williams, in a class, punching Participation: with Dosh or the girl he is now going out £1 for Students. with due to hi uncoordination. No of Freshers: 40% Post Most exotic tour: Master Grads: 10% class in the Caymen Islands and Bahamas (We wish). Age Range: 18-45 Methods of raising club Club's regular drinking funds: Charging drooling per- hole/eating establishment: verts for watching. Union, Star, Hogs Head. Any- Other reasons for aérobics: where to drown uncoordinated Gives something for ali Gym sorrows. members & climbers to watch. Club's motto/song: For Increase male staff morale. A F***s sake get it right single mans paradise. Surrey Sports Star Profile (Number 15 ) Name: Barry Hitchcock Favourite meal: French & Italian Age. 46 Favorite pop group: The Dept: Campusport Beetles (seeage!) Nicknames: Are you soperstitious: No Sport (and why) & team for (touch wood). the Uni.: Sports Director Does your sport inter- What do you get out of sport fere/improve your private at Surrey: I really enjoy life: working with students in a Sport, I suppose, is my private sports context. 'You get the life. After my family. best of both worlds.' Its good thing to be involved in. In my Who is your role model in youth I was a National ieague your chosen sport Basket ball player and Coach. My hero's, not role model, What's your ? were Wilt Chamberlain & Larry Bird. Worst injury: Broken Wrist Which sports person would Most memorable moment: l'd settle for Larry because you most like to meet: Being made honoraiy member Tve no chance of ever meeting My Colleges here because Now you're a "Surrey Star" him. of the Students Union. I was they do an honest job. And the bloody choked. who do you dedicate this Now you're a Surrey Star Union chaps because we seem profile to: Favorite drink: A half of who you dedicate this profile to have the same aims -1 think Guinness, but I don't mind to: that's terrifie. how many halves! Campusport Classes In The University Hall Week 19th - 24th February Monday 6.00-7.00 p.m. Thursday 6.30-7.30 p.m. Thursday 7.30-8.30 p.m. Please note that the following AEROBICS University Hall AEROBICS Campusport LINE DANCING Cam- change of venue for classes Centre (thank you Volley- pusport Studio (thank you Wednesday 5.00-6.00 p.m. during International week: ball!) Aikido!) AEROBICS University Hall 16 Sport Ist XV 53 Nobody Does It Oxted 7 Better FIFTH STRAIGHT WIN HELPS PROMO- University of Surrey IV 1 the Essex left wing. There TION CHANCES Essex University 0 was plenty of talk throughout the break, at least until Cliffy was told to keep his 'trap ball to be dropped by one of MART DRESS, T AST black shorts and shut' by the referee!! • SATURDAY, the the drunks (the crowd were "Die second half was all about heard telling him to catch the socks!" was the ^L^day after the night S concentration as the Surrey one in the middle). Another final request for Sundays back four coped well with before, a very rough score was not long in the wait- big match, following steady pressure from the Es- looking and hungover 1 st ing as Jason Munday pow- Saturdays disappointing sex wingers. Dan 'Lanky XV turned up at the ered over in the comer riding Shanks' Taylor cut out sev- some dubious tackling to take 1 -1 draw. The tumout Varsity centre to take on eral probing attacks with the his tally to four for the season was always going to be the meanest and most help of heroic performances and become the most prolific favourable in from the centre backs: Craig brutal team in the league. try scoring forward this sea- comparison with the 'Patch' Preston and Nobby The game pian was son. shower that rolled up at 'Go With Y'Runners' Both- simple with Surrey The next half started with well. The home side looked Senate 24 hours earlier, needing to notch up continued Surrey domina- good on both wings as Abdul- tion. Ben Davis now sobering after a hard night of lah and Fresher 'Road Run- points to help in the up was hitting Rohan in the Charter Ball 'Booze and ner' Pile combined well to promotion race. Tthat line out with increasing regu- Blag activity. create several breaks on the i larity. Soon Sewell was over left. Despite the Essex près- ' was to throw the ball With suits ali round (sadly let for his second try and this was sure Surrey were always the around at every down by Randolph's denim followed by Lee Caller scor- better side and their supe- opportunity and the idea outfit) and the appearance of ing a well worked move with riority told in the final 20 the lucky Inter Milan kit, it of a non contact game some hard determined mn- minutes as both Bimbo and was always going to be our seemed to be warmly ning. Da^l (Beep, Beep!) skinned day. The game began in fine their full backs repeatedly. welcomed. The floodgates had now fashion with Surrey stroking The fmal minutes of tension Straight from the kick off opened and soon James Bond the ball around with a confi- fìnally came lo an end and groans could be heard from made an explosive break and dence usually reserved for the gave way to the inévitable the Surrey pack as their frag- just had the legs to make the first team. Within minutes Surrey pitch invasion, with ile bodies took the first of line and all this with only one Essex were under pressure as the lads eager to join Spooner many buffetings. A series of contact lens in. Sewell then Donkey Hayworth (with his who'd been drinking since breakdowns foTlowed the ball capped a fabulous perform- usuai panache) hoofed the kick-off. An admirable per- recycled and Colin Sewell ance to score his third try for ball from the half way line. formance by an improving scored in the corner lo start which the greedy so and so Flying with ali the grace of a fourth team but the best was the ball rolling. would pay for later. randy kestrel the ball reached still to come. Just a few minutes later Sur- Somehow Oxted managed to the bar and fell for Conrad rey were awarded a penalty grab a consolation try. How- 'Stir' Fry to crash the ball 20yds out, an easy three ever, this was anwsered with A ridiculously good start home at the second attempt! from Billy, onto Donkey, points but not with the com- two fabulous if individualis- 1-0 mitment to run the ball by the tic tries from consecutive then Spooner, through Arfur, Surrey players,a well worked kick offs, with A.J. scamper- An unbelievable start was Cliffy and 'roids Pile, before penalty move saw Steve ing over from the half way built upon as the Surrey cen- Steptoe hands on to Patch "landslide victory" Dewint line and then Rie "sorry no tre of Dan TU teli you how it Preston for victory over the sear through and score under match fees" Saunders scoring happened' Reid and Tom thirds in the post match Boat the posts 12-0. Surrey were from a break down the left 'Last minute Blag' Jobe race (who's Cakey?). Cheers, now well up for the game, a hand side. Nine tries, four stamped some authority on boys! WE WON AND WE mesmeric dummy by Fei- conversions - promotion the game. Surrey had several KNOWWEDID!!!! sty/Norman/Judas Mcguire looked realistic. more chances before the in- Doc. Forensic saw a definite try only for the terval and were only troubled by Hercules throw-ins from Audio Visual Services —^^^ are pleased to he associateci with and he printingfor The University of Surrey Students' Union "BareFacts" ivarm welcome is extended to ali Btiiversity Staff & Students to fulfil your requir^ents in \ i Printing & Photocopying/Graphic Design, Photography, Television & Audjio, Projection Services, Univcrsily of Surrey. Giiìtdtbrtl. -Surrey. GU25XH. T^ (01483) 2592Q^Fax (01483) 259390