"Winston's Birthday, Again" Written by Jessica L Miller

[email protected] (503)269-2039 NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 1.

ACT ONE

EXT. ROOF. DUSK. JESS, NICK, SCHMIDT and WINSTON are gathered around the gold telescope, pointing and laughing at a building across the way. JESS I really love this telescope. WINSTON Yeah, seriously. This was the best birthday present ever, Schmidtty. SCHMIDT What can I say? I’m a thoughtful guy. Nick snorts a laugh. SCHMIDT (CONT’D) What? When I saw it, I immediately thought of Winston. (to Winston) You love spying on the buildings in the neighborhood. Winston nods with certainty. WINSTON I really do. JESS Pssht! You didn’t even mean to give it to Winst -- Jess slaps a hand over her mouth. Schmidt glares at her. WINSTON What’s she talking about, Schmidt? Nick tries to hide behind Jess. SCHMIDT Nothing. I don’t know what she’s talking about. Jess stares at the ground. NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 2.

WINSTON Jess, look at me. She shakes her head. WINSTON (CONT’D) Jess. Now. Look at me. She raises her head. WINSTON (CONT’D) Do you mean that this telescope wasn’t supposed to be a gift to me? Did you guys actually forget my birthday last year? JESS Sort of. Winston throws up his hands. WINSTON Sort of. You sort of forgot my birthday? JESS No. I mean, yes. I mean... it was Cece’s !

WINSTON Unbelievable. Y’all are unbelievable. SCHMIDT (to Jess) You swore you’d never tell, you fink. JESS (to Schmidt) Fink! I’m a fink?! You forgot too, you... forgetter! Winston looks at Nick as Nick tries to ease himself out of the conversation. WINSTON What about you, Miller? Did you forget my birthday last year too? NICK Sort of? NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 3.

WINSTON Seriously man, we’ve been friends for what, like 25 years and you still can’t remember my birthday? Nick opens his mouth to speak but is cut off. WINSTON (CONT’D) Enough. I get it. My birthday is not important enough to remember. JESS NICK No, Winston. It’s not that we Aw, you know I love you man, don’t remember. It’s just but we always -- that -- Winston raises a hand to shut them up. WINSTON (CONT’D) It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to tell you. My birthday is the day after tomorrow. And you three had better make this up to me. He turns and walks through the door to the stairs and lets the door SLAM behind him. Schmidt turns to Jess. SCHMIDT You are the worst secret keeper ever! I can’t believe you told him. Nick shakes his head and walks towards the door to the stairs. JESS You shouldn’t have told him that the telescope was for him! I would never have slipped if you hadn’t lied to him in the first place! Jess and Schmidt gesture wildly and argue incoherently. The roof door SLAMS again.

INT. LOFT. LATER. Jess and Schmidt enter the loft. Nick waits on the couch, kicked back and bored. He looks up as the loft door closes. NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 4.

SCHMIDT Anything? Schmidt gestures at Winston’s door. NICK Nah, I think he’s just gonna stay in there. WINSTON (O.S.) You’re damn right that’s what I’m gonna do. You don’t even deserve the consideration of being yelled at face to face. Jess looks pained. Schmidt grimaces. SCHMIDT Look what you’ve done. WINSTON (O.S.) You inconsiderate so-called friends. Probably just full of secrets to slip on. Jess looks at Winston’s door again and then back to Schmidt. JESS You know what, Schmidt. It doesn’t matter. It’s too late. We’ve already messed up. Now, we just have to fix it. SCHMIDT I agree, but what can we do? He knows we forgot. WINSTON (O.S.) You’ll probably forget again! Two days is a long time. SCHMIDT This all your fault. Schmidt storms to the couch and drops down next to Nick. Jess moves to stand in front of them with her hands on her hips and a determined look on her face. JESS No. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to throw him the best party ever. NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 5.

SCHMIDT Whatever, Jess. What on earth can you come up with in a day and a half? Jess smiles with faked confidence. JESS Tons. SCHMIDT Ha! If you can do it, I can do it even better. For I am Schmidtty, party planner extraordinaire. Schmidt sits up straight and proud. NICK He kind of is, Jess. I don’t know if you should take this on. Jess glares at him. NICK (CONT’D) Of course, you’re incredibly talented, too. And beautiful. JESS I can’t believe you think he’d do better job than me. Nick smiles but she narrows her eyes further. NICK I’m sure both of you can throw a great party. I just think that maybe Schmidt’s would be... better? Schmidt laughs. Jess turns her glare to Schmidt, then right back to Nick. They both shrink away from her a bit. JESS Decide who’s side you’re on now, Miller. And you better remember who smells better. Jess stands with her hands on her hips. NICK That’s not really a fair -- NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 6.

JESS Ugh! What is wrong with you!?! Schmidt laughs harder. JESS (CONT’D) (to Schmidt) Shut up. (to Nick) My room! Now! NICK Okay. Nick hurries to her room. Jess and Schmidt lock eyes. SCHMIDT I’ll bet I can throw a better party than you. JESS You’re on. Jess thrusts her hand at Schmidt to shake on it. SCHMIDT And when I beat you, you have to admit that I am the best party planner you’ve ever known. JESS And when I win, you’re gonna have to tell me that I’m the best. Jess sticks her tongue out at Schmidt, then turns and walks to her room with her head held high. Schmidt runs to the couch and grabs his laptop. He begins typing furiously. Jess closes her door.

INT. LOFT. JESS’S ROOM. CONTINUOUS. Jess shakes her head and looks at Nick. He’s sitting on her bed and looks perplexed. JESS What’s the matter with you? NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 7.

NICK I feel like I’m forgetting something... Something else happened on Winston’s birthday... Something important.. Jess shrugs. JESS I dunno. NICK No... It seems like it was a pretty big deal. Nick wrinkles his brow. JESS Well if it doesn’t have to do with Winston’s birthday, it can’t be that important. Jess grabs a frilly pen and a note pad from her desk and sits down in the chair. JESS (CONT’D) What theme should we use? Who should we invite? She starts writing. Nick’s mental light bulb turns on. NICK I got it! We started getting intimate on Winston’s birthday last year. It’s sort of like our anniversary. Jess stops writing and looks at Nick. JESS Is that a theme idea? Focus Nick. We can have an anniversary later. Nick shrugs but looks a little disappointed. NICK I dunno, I guess I just thought girls thought anniversaries were important. NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 8.

JESS They’re not. This is important. Schmidt thinks he can throw a better party. Winston is pissed. We need to focus. Nick shrugs. NICK Okay. How can I help? JESS We need themes? Who should we invite? Can you get Winston’s phone? She goes back to writing. NICK I’m not going to steal Winston’s phone. Jess stops writing. JESS Why would you need to steal it? He knows we’re planning a party. I just have to do better than Schmidt. NICK Got it. Get his phone and invite his friends. What else? Jess tears a page off the note pad. JESS Start with these people. She returns her attention to the note pad, tapping the pen against her cheek. Nick looks at the list and then folds it up and pokes it into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. NICK Jess, it’s almost eight. People don’t want phone calls this late at night. Can’t I do this in the morning? Jess stops writing again and looks at Nick with mild disgust. NEW GIRL "Winston's Birthday, Again" 9.

JESS What are we, 80? Nick shakes his head no. JESS (CONT’D) Seriously, Nick. We have less than two days to plan this thing. Any delay and Schmidt’s going to get the people first. Now go. She shoos him out of the room and starts to close the door. JESS (CONT’D) Make contact, spread the word. Text if you must. Party. Here. Saturday Night. NICK Got it. Nick leaves the room and Jess closes the door. END OF ACT ONE.