"Let one hundred flowers blossom; let one hundred schools of thought contend." The Student INSIDE Echo Awards: A Must Read P.3 Ervin On Suttles P. 7 Birthday Party P.9 Shorts On Sports P. 13
Volume 82/ Issue 26 University of Tennessee at Chattanooga April 14, 1989
AN ESSAY Obear: New Phone System Next Fall vendors. After all the quotes are returned, By Brian Hicks administration and faculty ("the business A View on Pro- a final decision will be made. end of the campus," Obear said), and one The Student Echo i-r/"> Obear said replacing the phone system for the residents. But Obear said that was Students and faculty returning to UTC is no longer an option, it is a necessity. just one option, and still just one idea. Choice Rally next fall will find a new phone system in He said Solid State Systems, the current place, Chancellor Frederick Obear said Obear said several options for the system's service company, has informed Wednesday. system are being looked at, but cost administration that "sometime in 1990, In an interview Wednesday night with restrictions will have the final say in any By Angela F. Hawk parts for (UTC's) system will no longer be The Echo, the Chancellor said a decision extras a new system may carry. However, Special to Ihe Echo available." has been made to implement a new Obear stressed that no matter what the On Sunday, April 9, 1989, I was initiated phone system over the summer. "We've got to make a change," Obear new phone system will consist of, at least into a world of national social consciousness. said. "We can't continue to just patch and a large part of it will be installed when On Tuesday, I reentered the world of UTC to Although a selection process has not yet encounter apathy, indifference, and ignorance begun, Obear said the first two weeks of replace." students and faculty return to classes in about world and national affairs. May will be spent comparing seven to 10 Obear said planning is still preliminary mid-August. Marching with over half a million people in major phone system vendors. After the and nothing is definite beyond the fact "Change is in the works. Who it will be Washington, D.C. to suppoort a woman's vendors deemed best suited to fit the that a new system will be installed One (what vendor) is not yet determined, but right to control her own body was option the administration is looking at is a major portion of it will be installed by overwhelming. I was made painfully aware of university's needs are selected, requests my own complacency and that of my fellow for quotations on prices will be sent to the buying two different systems: one for mid-August," he said. "Definitely." students. While apprehensive about my first venture into social activism, 1 felt compelled to express outrage at those who would take away my Commission overturns decision on referendum freedom to control my own body. Along the allocating $900 for a dedication plaque way I met a group of fifty students from By Beth Spears sponsor of the referendum bill, said he Appalachian State University who were also apologizes on behalf of the SGA for the to honor Dr. Littleton Mason, $893 for headed for the march in Washington and my The Student Echo confusion concerning the bill. He also a reggae party to be held April 15 for fears became less important. As 1 stood on the The referendum concerning the dorm students, $800 for the Circle K Club lawn in front of the Washinton monument emphasized that the final decision about waiting to begin the march, my fears began increase in the activity fee and the the increase was not the senate's but, to go to an international convention and to give way to a wave of patriotism and maintenance fee was approved by the according to state rules, must go through $150 to help fund the Consumer Affairs strength in my conviction. SGA after the spring elections the chancellor and the UT Board of Club trip to Boston, Mass. Also, the SGA All around me were people who cared commission overturned their previous Trustees before becoming official. appropriated $1,644 to send its new enough to speak out. I stood next to a woman decision. executive officers to a leadership in a wheel chair who carried a sign that said. In other action, the SGA approved bills "I'M NINETY-ONE AND PRO CHOICE." I The elections commission ruled after conference in the summer. marched beside mothers and fathers pushing elections that the referendum failed strollers with signs that said things like because it did not achieve a two-thirds "MOTHER BY CHOICE" and "MAKE majority vote. It missed the two-thirds EVERY CHILD A WANTED CHILD." mark by one percent. Later, Dean We were all bonded together with a deep respect for freedom. As I approached the Charles Renneissen and Vicki Guthrie of capitol, the center of democracy, I heard the Student Affairs realized the ruling was not encouraging voices of Whoopi Goldberg and correct. The commission had treated the Cybill Shepherd. I gathered strength from their fee proposal as a constitutional change words, realizing that they wre putting their when it was actually a fee change. Under fame and popularity on the line. My fears suddenly seemed trivial and insignificant. I state financial policy rules, the became overwhelmingly grateful to live in this referendum needed only a majority and nation that considers my individual freedom not a two-thirds vote. So, the referendum a national priority. passed by a 65 percent majority. I am frightened by the complacency and According to the fee proposal lack of knowledge exhibited on campus at UTC. Democracy demands informed referendum, the activity and the participation. It is especially important for those maintenance fee will both be increased by of us in the academic community to put our one dollar. The increase in the activity fee minds and our talents to work for a better will go to the SGA for the amphitheater society. We must exercise our right to speak project and other student projects and the and our democratic responsibility in order to preserve and protect it. increase in the maintenance fee will go to student organizations who have not been funded in the past. Jf SU|MI TaJ/Studcnt Echo Vice-President Randy Wood, the Mary Alice Crowe and J.C. Hierholzer of UTCs Conservation Club plant trees near Holt Hall See story on page five. 2 Student Echo/April 14, 1989 Clippard On Anxiety 25 awards given out at By Mike Merritt to re-assure the individual." The Student Echo "If you must move away after school, students leadership banquet Graduating seniors face the same find out as much as you can about the transitional problems that freshmen face area you are going to live in." Clippard Pi Kappa Alpha was chosen as the most as they enter the university for the first urges students to gather as much By Janiece Johnson time. improved organization for "improvement in in'ormation about the places as possible. The Student Echo scholarship, campus involvement, and Nina Clippard, a counselor at UTC, The library has access to newspapers and community service," Dean Charles said many spring graduates will end their regional publications, as well as the Over twenty-five awards were given out to Renneisen said. Renneisen gave the award senior year with the same anxieties they telephone directories for most cities. students and student organizations at the for outstanding contribution to a student had when they arrived at UTC. "If these solutions don't work," Leadership Banquet Tuesday night in hopes publication to Faith Johnson, assistant news "Students entering the career market Clippard said, "try to be honest about of recognizing some of their outstanding editor for the Echo, and the award for efforts, according to the banquet's speakers. deal with obvious anxieties," Clippard your feelings. There is nothing wrong with outstanding honor society to Beta Tau Vicki Guthrie, assistant to the dean of said. "They're concerned with questions feeling anxious during life's changes. Try Sigma, the engineering honor society. like; Will I be able to get a good job? Will students, and Garry Atkins, housing Two awards were presented in the category to share your thoughts with friends or management coordinator, were the masters I be able to live independently? Am I family. Hearing ourselves talk about our for outstanding new organization. The two of ceremonies at the banquet which, Guthrie recipients were the Littleton H. Mason ready to be an individual?" problems often brings solutions." said, had over two hundred people in Clippard said that new found self- Singers and Sigma Alpha Epsiion. Small doses of anxiety are a healthy attendance and over fiftygroup s represented. Dr. Roger Thompson, the head of the sufficiency often contains its own element part of life's experiences, according to Jim The "grand finale" of the evening.Guthrie criminal justice department, was selected as of anxiety and fear. Brown, a clinical psychologist. said, was the awarding of the ten leadership the outstanding organizational advisor for his "Students move away to a strange new "Students should learn to recognize merit awards by Chancellor Frederick Obear. work in the Pre-Law Club, along with the environment, a different city, and they are changes in life cycles and attitudes and The recipients of the awards were David ACE advisor Kathy Alday. forced to break the same type of ndjust accordingly," he said. Chalker, Nicole Griffith, Saju Isaac, J.J. Dean Richard MacDougall said that no Kirkpatrick, Vaughn Moore, Nancy Rucker, psychological ties they broke as "The most common chaqges," he said, award would be given for race relations,bu t Patricia Vital, Becky Williams, Randy freshmen," Clippard said. occur in appetite, a loss of concentration, that it should be made a priority in the Wood, and Rick Wood. upcoming year. MacDougall did award the "There are several ways graduating and/or erratic sleep patterns." David Chalker, former SGA president, students can deal with this type of anxiety. residential life award to Cindy Burgess who gave the presentations for the acadenjc is currently an R.A. in the Stadium dorms. Remembering the past, when you Most of these problems are temporary; advancement award and the alumni overcame similar situations, brings on however, frequent occurences may involvement award. James Brown, a Chalker, who gave his last speech as SGA transfer skills, which allow the student to suggest a more serious problem. graduate student, received the academic president at the banquet, was given a special remember how they overcame a prior advancement award, and the alumni award from the SGA Senate for his work. problem and apply that solution to the The transition from full-time school to involvement award went to Kimberly Sloan, The award was presented to him by Vaughn present." the career life is a welcomed challenge to the president of the Student Alumni Moore and Randy Wood. "A look back to their first day at UTC Council. some graduates and a dreaded fear to Chalker, in turn, gave a plaque to Guthrie or their first club meeting is often enough Betty Tucker gave Alpha Delta Pi the others. community service award. Tucker also for "outstanding service to the student body." GRADUATE ASSISTANTSHIPS AND COOPERATIVE EDUCATION POSITIONS The University of Alabama in Huntsville is recognized as a quality institution closely related to the growth and development of high technology in North Alabama. Teaching and research assistantship are available in the follow ing areas of study:
Aitmmniuw Science MAS En|li*h MA AppiexJ Mrth™™iir« PhD History MA Bxnopcal Scieocaa MS Materials Science PhD BUSIDCSI AHmn,.,»mHm PhD* Mathematics MA.MS Chcnuirry MSPhD* Nunoif MSN Gxnpuar Science MS .PhD Operation Research MSOR rngm^^^^^m Physics MS J>hD Eleancal A Computer MSJtiD Public Attain MAS bxamrial A Synem MS .PhD Psychology MA technical MS .PhD *h aoapenam ««h ths The University of Alabama In many curricula, an assistantship may be combined with the graduate level co-op program. Assistantship stipends alone vary between $5,000 and 516,000 per academic year plus tuition. UAH has an enrollment of 7000 students and is a cultural center in the Tennessee Valley. Huntsville is the home of Alabama Super computer, the Army's Redstone Arsenal, NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center, and more than one hundred high technology and David Chalker receives an award from Chancellor Obear. Sujeel Taj/Student Echo research corporations awarded J J. Kirkpatrick, Rick Wood, Becky Chalker referred to Guthrie as the "UTC Contact the School of Graduate Studies at 895-6002 Williams, and Kelly Hudson with the crown" in a speech thanking her and or write to: outstanding contributions to campus life everyone for being involved. Dean, School of Graduate Studies award for their participation in organizing such events as the Bash, the Party '88, and Chuck Cantrell from the university The University of Alabama in Huntsville the Moc Party. relations office also gave out special award' Huntsville, AL 35899 The international understanding award was to those groups who helped wit! NAME presented to Cherron Perry by Dean A.J. homecoming at the mall. ADDRESS Range for her work on projects like the anti- apartheid rally in the fall of 1988. The Student Alliance founders, Richard Scranton, Most of the awards were based or TELEPHONED ) ~~ Randy Wood, and Rick Wood, were given nominations which went before the banqu< FIELD(S) OF INTEREST the outstanding contributions to campus committee, who made the final decisioi PRESENT INSTITUTION improvement award by Range. The Student The commute members were Atkins, Cine Burgess, Guthrie, Vaughn Moore, Trac An Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution Alliance is the group trying to make the amphitheater a reality on campus. Street, and Steve Ur "erwood. Aoril 14, 1989/Student Echo 3 We're Outta Here, But First, Our Awards. . .
We at the Echo feel it would be remiss ot us to complete our tenure without giving some well-deserved recognition to personalities both notable and notorious in our campus news this year. In the spirit of awards giving (although we were rejected this year), we think it is better to give than to receive. The envelopes please. . .and the winners are:
The Dan Martino Award for the Irritation Of A Large Number of People At The Same Time goes to John Meeks whose polemics continue to grace the Echoes and Answers page long after his cult of personality graduated. "God is not a Republican,"Meeks said,"he is a flaming Marxist atheist anarchist Maoist liberation theologist and every other ist I've believed in."
The Apple Macintosh Spelchek Aiuardgoes to none other than Peta Bertt (sic) whose campaign literature was an inneresting (sic) marketing consept (sic). Despite his misspellings, Bertt won anyway. He apparently likes the letters in his campaign flyer the way he likes his eggs-SCRAMBLED.
The Jack The Ripoff Award goes to (you guessed it) our favorite chairman who has done nothing more with his These, dear faithful readers, are some of the people who brought you the Echo this semester. We know: the remainder of the semester wouldn't endowed chair than sit on it. For be the same without letters from Lowe or Meeks, but we hope you learn to live without it. In the meantime, we're outta here. Keep In touch. collecting more than $55,000 a year, we corner, Benny Green. Benny scored a wonder whether any of this is being TKO over an upstart ETSU cheerleader diverted to help the "Freedom Fighters" who made boxing fans remember the in Nicaragua. Here's a suggestion: days of Muhammad Ali by taunting her rename it the Stool of Excellence or Lazy opponent. Benny will abandon his title to AtteiUlOll TSAC Recipients Boy Recliner of Excellence perhaps? go pro next semester. The Mouth In The Foot Award goes to The Robin Givens Award to ETSU Any student who wishes to be considered Don of Housing Richard cheerleader Jenny Worley for knowing MacDougall for saying that "students how to take a punch and bitching about for nomination as a Student Member, TSAC continue to complain because they know it. One cheer Jenny wouldn't be saying Board of Directors, and meets the following they will be heard." Maybe Little Mac for a long time is "Sock It To Me Baby." criteria: needs a hearing aid because the only things in the dorms that work are the The Jimmy The Greek Award goes to hordes of cockroaches. David Chalker for saying that "there 1.) A full time student enrolled in a public or are enough blacks in the SGA." No, private higher education institutions in The Lyndon LaRouche Award goes to Dave, not until one is president. Tennessee. The student shall be or have been a our most prolific letter writer Ronnie recipient of financial aid administered by the Lowe who has been a professional The Chattanooga Chew Chew Award Tennessee Student Assistance Corporation. martyr for the right during the past two to UTC Chancellor Frederick Obear semesters. Congrats Ron (hey, that who followed his dentist's advice and 2.) The student member shall be appointed for sounds familiar) you've beaten out Jesse urged students and faculty "to grin and a one (1) year term by the Governor. Helms, Lyndon L., Atilla The Hun, the bear it" instead of gripe about the phone author of Mein Kampf, Genghis Khan, problems on campus. Sorry Fred, Any student from UTC, who meets all the William Buckley, Charles Heston and something seems to be temporarily out of eligibility requirements are encouraged to Tom Selleck to become the leader of the order. apply. Application forms are available in | (wait on this one!!!) Right Guard! Student Affairs Office Room 216 University The Eternal Paradox Award goes to The Chilean Grapes Award to the Richard Brown who claims success in Center. Deadline is Friday, April 21,1989, at UTC Food dis-Service for cuisine not preventing crimes that never occurred. 4 p.m. fit to grace a Hefty bag. But it is fast. If it washes up on shore this morning, it'll be on your plate tonight. Cancer ott?mc?m
women in civil engineering. The older By Phyllis Chaffin grades and rank than their male peers. engineer. Engineering was better than The Student Echo Most students feel instruction is the anything else, Lamees Shaqqo, an men are still prejudiced against women," same for both genders but Stephanie electrical engineering major, said. Barbra Wade said. UTC's only female engineering staff Sparkman, a chemical engineering major, Wade, a civil engineering major, became "People are really surprised. It is looked member said opportunities for female feels it would be encouraging to have interested when her brother began on as a male type major," Flippo said. engineering students were slim when she more women instructors. studying building science. Sparkman and Jacobus also agreed entered school. "It would be nice to have more women All the women received similar that people were impressed while Ziegler Gayle Cunningham teaches so you could relate to the staff closer." Jo reactions from people upon learning of said women her age, in their 30's, were Engineering 124 at UTC and said when Ziegler, a mechanical engineering major, their maiors shocked. "The younger people aren't too she choose engineering as a major, she said. "People say there are not many surprised by it though " she s*'^ was told by a high school teacher that Parents of female engineers are more ladies did not become engineers. And she likely to have college degrees and to be could not obtain a scholarship from any employed in professional positions than Conservation Club makes comeback Tennessee university. parents of male engineers. Women An organization chartered at UTC back remain cooler during the summer "UT Knoxville would give me a engineers are also more likely to be in the 1970s is making a strong months. Trees also reduce noise pollution scholarship in nursing, home economics, married to engineers while men are comeback. The UTC Conservation Club and enhance the beauty of the campus, etc, but not in engineering. Someone told usually married to homemakers. is an organization committed to increasing according to club president J.C. me a dean was recruiting women at LSU. Many of the female students were public awareness of issues affecting the Hierholzer. His daughter was an engineering major inspired by male relatives, usually their earth's environment and natural Hierholzer says the club has several and dindn't want her to be the only girl fathers. They also were interested and resources. Through the efforts of the projects planned for next semester, in her classes," she said. proficient in math and science. Conservation Club, nine trees were including launching a campus-wide Cunningham was the only engineering "My father was my role model," Rita donated to the university by McMinnville aluminum recycling drive, and student to graduate from LSU in 1964. Flippo, an electrical engineering major, businessman, Bill Moffit. encouraging the university administration "At that time one girl would graduate in said. Sparkman said her chemistry Three members of the club spent to adopt a policy of using recycled paper engineering each year," she said. teacher inspired her while Ziegler's Tuesday afternoon planting the new trees products. Female engineering students comprise husband encouraged her to pursue the on the lawn of Holt Hall and around The club's next meeting will be 10 percent of UTC's engineering classes. engineering profession. campus. Wednesday, Apr. 19 at 8 p.m. in Holt Women engineering students entering Joanna Jacobus, a mechanical The hardwood trees will provide shade 225. college usually possess higher high school engineering major, said her father was an for Holt Hall, enabling the building to
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(i*f ss What do John Lee Hooker, caffeine The two local newspapers represent the toxicity and printer's ink have in main stream, given that one is more I common? If you've spent any conservative than the other. Stuck in the Wednesday evenings over the last two main stream, they could not voice views years in the Echo office, the question that could shake the system's credibility. needn't be asked. To shake the system, to point out its 4te® A student newspaper is a unique deficiencies, to urge directions for change, xt organization. In terms of th? iarger world are the goals we set for ourselves, and of commercial journalism it stands apart. justifiably so. Being in college provides Subsidized by student fees, it is supposed one the opportunity for such to provide the student body with a voice, deliberation on one's life and country. We i his means incredible freedom from total did not come to college to confirm the old dependency on advertisers giving the views we grew up with, we came to see OVTTA , newspaper the ability to go after anything if they are still appropriate and found that its staff consider important. The ideal is some are and some aren't. We hope that that it. should function as a mirror through our search for truths, and our attempt to which the community sees itself. encourage the student body to do the Tine problem is that the community— same was reflected in the newspaper. whether it is UTC, Chattanooga, or the Some times we deliberated too loudly, A/hole country— does not have a almost to the point of attack, and we may consistent view of itself or the world. have hurt some people. We are sorry for *y*UO*> yog emi P*wT Events can be interpreted in a million the pain, but we have no guilt over the ways. Should the campus newspaper try fact that we approached issues and to represent all of these interpretation, all problems with sincerity. the views it could get its hands on? And when it came to the The answer to that question was the administration, we were .(proudly) dilemma we had to deal with constantly. combative. The editors viewed the :,/ We opted for the least favored option and relationship between the student body that is "No, a newspaper does not have and administration as a conflicting one. evidence can continue for pages. But the nighters, our consumption of high doses to be a smorgasboard of views." A The students are interested in keeping the point is made. We saw in our position as of caffeine in attempt to produce the newspaper has to develop a character, cost of their education low, while the student journalists an opportunity to voice newspaper on time, and our overall and the character we chose was a bureaucracy is interested in expanding, these concerns, to continue to gripe about adventurous style have worked for the progressive one. We chose to present many times on frivilous projects. Students them until something is done. The fear benefit of the students and the campus in views and issues that the campus would want to have decent housing near of bad publicity has caused some general. We benefited from the not be exposed to otherwise, or at least campus with' working phones. The administrators to work harder. So at least experience and we thank you for giving we felt that way. We also saw ourselves administration has shown little resolve in in that respect we have succeeded. us the opportunity. in the context of Chattanooga as a whole. dealing with these problems. The list of Our hope is that our Wednesday all- Peace. Campus Comments By Saju Mathew Isaac Photos by Sujeel Taj What do you think of the Echo's performance this semester and how can it improve? Dr. Geevarghese Philip Vincent Dr. Tom Waddell Brian Wilson Claudia Thompson Jeff Howard (Faculty -Sociology) (Sophomore (Faculty - Chemistry) (Freshman • Computor (Junior • Criminal (Graduate Student - It can involve students a lot Chemistry) I feel the Echo should be Science) Justice) Psychology) more by reporting their I think that they have been handled more The Echo is pretty good. It's great. Nothing should I would think that they achievements and activities doing a great job. It would professionally by more Sometimes it doesn't be changed. Most of the need to address more in short news items. Also, be nice though, if they can journalism students. It address all the stuff it situations are reported important issues directly the Echo should be a little talk a little bit more on seems like half of the should, but it gets the point without any bias. related to UTC. more objective and should martial arts. articles are rock record across. get into different aspects of reviews. campus life. The Echo should go out and get the news instead of waiting for it to come to them. April 14, 1989/Student Echo 7 The Suttles Case: A Lesson In Unchecked Police Power COMMENTARY BY LORENZO ERVIN caused a skull fracture and killed him. evidence in the case, and that Kennedy police brutality is governmental In 1984, the widow and family of Mr. in fact was told by the USDJ in a 1985 misconduct, and if we want to blame Over the last five ye^rs. the facts have Suttles filed suit against the city and the letter who the major suspect in the anybody we need to blame city officials, been frequently discussed: On November two officers who admitted beating him. murder was. Kennedy has lied to from the Mayor on down. They have 25,1983, a 66-year old black World War The case went to trial in local federal court members of the present City Commission stonewalled and made it clear that they II veteran was arrested at the downtown in April, 1986, but in early May of 1986, (Franklin and Littlefield), the State Police, have something to hide. Greyhound bus station parking lot by a a federal civil court jury found the two FBI and the City Human Rights and Wadie Suttles was no black political city police officer for the "crime" of officers not guilty of causing Mr. Suttles' Human Relations Commission (the leader or rich businessman; he was an sleeping in his car. The officer allegedly death, and yet could not agree as to the CHRHRC), which voted on March 13, ordinary family man, worker and struck Mr. Suttles in the mouth, splitting city's liability. Judge R. Allen Edgar, the 1989, to send Kennedy a letter of neighbor. He fell prey to random police his lip, while conducting the arrest. He federal judge presiding over the case, reprimand for lying and for withholding terrorism; others have died before and was then thrown into jail for "resisting then dismissed the case against the city. requested documents. The disgust by since. He had a right to life, yet his killers arrest" and "disorderly conduct", familiar CHRHRC members has now reached a still freely walk around. The moral here charges used to harass persons, and are The case has not been confined to the stage where on April 10th they sent a is that if you allow this crime by authorities the only kind of charges which could stick courtroom, however, but has become an letter to the City Commission accusing to go on and you say nothing, then don't since the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed emotionally charged political issue, and them of "not being serious" about human say anything about South Africa or other "suspicious person" charges a few years especially to the black community. The rights violations, and said they resented dictatorships, because the police state is ago. case is symptomatic of the powerlessness of the black community in this city, and being "used to take the heat off the City here. This is Nazi Germany 1989. After Mr. Suttles was taken to the city the depth of racism and political Commission." jail, he was deemed a "troublemaker" by corruption in the government. It is now All of this reflects the crisis in jail guards, and subjected to jaiihouse Lorenzo Ervin, a UTC student, is a member generally recognized that Commissioner government that rampant, unchecked discipline, including solitary confinement of Concerned Citizens for Justice, a local civil Tom Kennedy is deliberately witholding police brutality can cause. In essence, rights group. and a series of beatings, one of which Echoes and Answers on the shore, or of the volunteers dragging encouragement I received from the criminal the forum of debate, and may I suggest an dead, oil covered sea otters out of the water. justice faculty, professors and friends at UTC. experiment for you, also, Eric. As time allows Boycott Exxon The beautiful, peaceful world in which many Before I graduate, I would like to take this read the / Ching and or Bertrand Russell's playful sea otters, seals and birds lived was the opportunity to thank all of those who stood Why I Am Not A Christian, and after reading only world they knew. The saddest thing is that by me to help me make it. them, please realize that one person's best There is something happening in this world the animals of this region are dying and they Special Thanks To: interpretation of how to deal with the world in which we live that every living, breathing know they are dying, but they will never know Dr. RoOer Thompson around him or her is not always, or shouldn't creature should take an acute interest in. The the reasons why. Dr. Kenneth Venters necessarily be, the same as the next person's. earth that was meant for us to survive on is The Exxon corporation does not suffer from Mr. Robert Catale being destroyed by its inhabitants. The concern this like the environment has. That is as long Dr. Ray Fox -T.R. Shipley from here is not for myself. I believe there will as they continue to make millions of dollars Miss Ema Fellas always be plenty of beautiful nature for me to each day. It is time that we become the judge Miss Cathy Gilreath see and enjoy. and jury. The charges are negligence, apathy, Mrs. Nancy Jones My concern is for the generations to come murder and assault on nature and the future. Mr. Craig Buonan and for the wildlife that has to suffer because The verdict is guilty. Lets not allow Exxon to Miss Kim Johnson See Wood's Words On Page 11 of the thick-heads running the major escape without retribution. An alcoholic ship Mr. Michael Holt corporations in the world. While executives of captain should not be a scapegoat for an entire — S. Vijaya Samaraj corporate giants continue to earn six and seven corporation. Please let us all unite in this fight figure salaries, they are not being held for the environment, nature and the future of accountable for the careless manner in which America and the world. Student Echo they treat the environment. Any donations to the relief effort can be sent Over and done The recent oil spill off the coast of Alaska to: The Alaskan Relief Fund, P.O. Box 473, Editor-in-Chief Khaled Mattawa has made people aware, maybe for the first Erie, PA 16512. The funds will be used for With appreciation, this is also my final reply Managing Editor Davan Maharaj time.of just how vulnerable nature is to man's a permanent cleanup coalition formed by to Eric Svendsen. 1 am wholly convinced that News Editor Candy Corneliussen desires. The way in which the Exxon Greenpeace. our debate has been useful but with some Asst News Editor Faith Johnson corporation has handled the cleanup effort is If you have a concern for nature and the reflection, and the advice of some well- Features Editor Chris Gilligan a joke. Five days after the spill Exxon had still environment please urge your friends and meaning friends, I now realize that given our Sports Editor Richard Byington not reached first base. My question is, why neighbors to join in this effort. Thank you for theological presuppositions we are debating Advertising Manager David Gann should Americans let them get away with what your concern and DONT BUY EXXON! moot questions. Photography Editor Greg Bean Faculty Advisor Bob Dardenne happened and what can we do about it? -Jim Mcfloman I still maintain that my belief, (or noeiie' After many hours of thought on the subject by your definition) is piefarable Io your- the conclusion here is to hit Exxon in the only Friends indeed because it allows for change and .viaptaticn area they would listen — the pocketbook. which are the cornerstones of exist* i,ce. u. my There is an effort underway to boycott Exxon, opinion. But I certainly concede your ngnt to 755-4298 and I hope that everyone here at UTC will join cling to absolutism in defiance of the swift in. A lot of my fellow students have expressed I joined the University of Tennessee on May currents of change in modern society which The opinions expressed in the Student Echo are a great deal of anger and sorrow over the those of the individual writers and do not necessarily 3, 1988 and I will be graduating on April 30, sometimes seem to threaten our very reflect the opinions of the personnel at the University Valdez oil spill. Please join me in not 1989. I've spent about 12 months at UTC and existence. of Tennessee at Chattanooga The publication is a purchasing Exxon products, not just for a week I feel that this has been the most memorable student newspaper published weekly during the school Pray on, study on and live on,but please year with the exception of holidays and examination or a month, but forever! part in my college life. remember that not everyone will recognize the periods. Exxon is not alone to blame, all of the other During the past 12 months I have had good "veracity of Christianity's "claims." Using a The Student Echo welcomes letters to the editor but oil .companies are at fault also, but we need all letters must bear the writer's name, address, and times and bad times too. On the first of this philosophy professor, as you did, as a phone number for verification. Anonymous letters will to make Exxon the example. If the American year, I received news from back home whipping boy to beat people over the nead not be printed but names will be withheld at the people bring Exxon to its knees, then the other (Singapore) that my dad passed away. I had with,your theological opinions is neither a just editor's discretion Letters should be brief, 2V) words oil companies will surely take notice and exert or less. We reserve the right to edit the letter as to to rush back to attend his funeral services and nor constructive manner in which to proceed. grammatical errors: nd libelous statetients. or to reject more effort into the prevention of future oil I returned to UTC within two weeks to Those tactics only isolate you into defending the letter altogethe letters and a. vertising must be spills. complete the semester so 1 could graduate on your own views rather than allowing you to received no later than S p.m. Monday for publication the following Thursday If anyone has any doubts about whether a time. This has been a very depressing and reach out and change others from a level of boycott would be worthwhile, then just watch stressful semester for me. 1 have almost made mutual respect and understanding. a newsreel of the waves of sludge washing up it though, with the assistance and Again, I thank you, Eric, and the Echo for 8 Student Frhn/April 14 1989 EchoFeatures These children make good use of the UTC daycare center playground. Photo Editor Greg Bean shows the resourcefulness and Imagination the kids put into their play. Now, if only the HPER department could get some equipment like this. Take the course you need—when you need it. Through independent study by correspondence, you can be i In A Class By Yourself ATTENTION *make your own schedule 'study at your own pace 'combine work and education ••••• ••••• *get individualized attention NEEDS DELIVERY DRIVERS Vake high school and college credit courses from The University of Tennessee. For more information, contact the UT Center for Requirements: Benefits: Extended Learning, 420 Communications Building, Knoxville, {• 18 years or older • Earn up to $9 per hour Tennessee 379%. Phone (615) 974-5135. • • Valid tennessee drivers license • Flexible Hours J « Automobile & Insurance • Free Uniforms UT is an EEO/504/ Tide IX employer. |t Neat, dependable, outgoing • Free Meals ur • • Paid Vacations i • Paid Training > • •1 • ! Apply at: Pizza Hut 698-3500 • • • • • Please send • • • • • College Course Catalog • High School Course Cata.og • • • rtxxk HOT or MMICI. INC. • I OLOI MftlNIRO SMOrPIMC CMTIR • • «ou MMNtfto *o»o, met »-i • CNftTTMOOOA. TIHM. Hill • NAME • • I • • • • • ADDRESS • • I • • • • J • riTY STATE — ZIP • • • • • April 14, 1989/Student Echo 9 Birthday Party not some patrons' piece of cake By Chris Gilligan Echo Features Editor proprietors and the drunken, sexually- The University Theatre's presentation tinged, violent disruption brought into the of Harold Pinter's The Birthday Party was house by "Organization" men Goldberg in full swing this week, though some and McCann (Lee Henderson and Shane patrons came away from the play wishing Hendrix). the stageplay runs a gamut they hadn't been invited. from silly dialogue jokes to a serious, Laurin DeRamus, a UTC theatre climactic rape scene. student, said some audience members Stan, a failed pianist, is evidently hiding who attended earlier performances were from "the Organization," which accuses put off by the piece's blatant violence and him of having killed his mother and wife; sexuality. Though most of the offended but his real crime is his refusal to accept quietly left during one of the play's two the love—whether motherly or sexual— intermissions, a few actually got up and of women. He responds to Meg's dizzy walked out during the performance. headed, doting devotion with acerbic Pinter's play is a skewed look at human indifference, and his stumbling refusals of insanity, senility, sexuality, and our the overtly sensual Lulu (Paige La Grone) passivity in the face of the often degrading become a crime in the face of Goldberg and violent intrusion of bureaucracy into and McCann's illogical interrogations. our lives. Set in a the living room of a All of the resident characters are rarely-visited boarding house on the manipulated by the two gangster/social English coast, The Birthday Party looks workers, whose decadent orchestration of at a day-and-a-half in the life of aging Stan's birthday celebration lead to Lulu's Charming Goldberg seduces Lulu husband and wife Petey and Meg (played rape and seduction, Stan's mental Stan fights off the sadistic McCann by Curtis Sharpe and Jolie Runyan) and breakdown, and Meg's morning their manic-depressive boarder, Stan hangover. (Tim Endsley). Vacillating between the humorous and continued to p. 11 repetitive breakfast tabletalk of the senile RESERVE OFFICERS' TRAINING CORPS imersiu THE BIRTHDAY JJTEDS tf AC? DISCS PARTY IIVE YOU CASH by Harold I^KT INVMTEB CD'E ml wiKlls k Kiull ot fien \HI'< k liillslhcptaN Wright "the most fasci- ftatinv. enigmatic, and ac complished dramatist in the English language." m m* YOUR FIRST STEP TOWARD SUCCESS IS THE ONE TOU COULD TAKE THIS SUMMER. At Army ROTC Camp Challenge, you'll leant what it takes to succeed—in college and in life. You'll build self-confidence and :ALL develop your leadership potential. Plus you S-7032 Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre can also qualify to earn an Army Officer's Reservations suggested -— call 755-4269 commission when you graduate. Army ROTC Camp Challenge. It may be cee. April 8, 9*, 12*, 13*, 14, 15 just what you need to reach the top. ~ . _. ' UTC Fine Arts Center Cpt Ronny Rogers 'Performances on April«). 12. 13 at 7:00 PM all 108 Holt Hall others at S:00 P.M. ;! ARMY ROTC THE SMARTEST COLLEGE COURSE TOU CAN TAKE. •cho/Aoril 14, 1989 whether it's something people care about, her duet, "Up Where We Belong" with "Twist in my Sobriety" is the current something from my imagination, or a rare Joe Cocker. "Jennifer Warnes is my release and it's one of those songs that moment of inspiration." favorite!" Tanita exclaimed. "She's had a makes you anxious to hear the next line Being able to pretend you're someone very strange career, but she has a very because Tanita sounds mysteriously else or to just come up with something out moving, thoughtful voice." I let her angry as if she's wearing a smirk: "Look of nothing definitely reflects a poetic describe her own voice and she didn't my eyes are just holograms/Look your nature, but there seem to be moments in even know it. Maybe the only word she love has drawn blood from my her writing that focus on her present day left out was distinctive, though at times hands/From my hands you know you'll Record youth such as: "I was only 16 years she does show a slight resemblance to never be/More than a twist in my old/You were only 17/Life isn't so Chrissie Hynde, especially on "Good sobriety." complicated, but then life isn't 'sposed to Tradition" which sounds very countryish On "Valentine Heart" she sings, "It's a Review be." Though personal, she assured me at the beginning. Yet, it's the only song shame you're so young/My words, it's a that they're "not autobiographical." Ah, on the album that strongly features that shame they're so dumb." Personally, I'm Tanita Tikaram the mark of a true poet! characteristic. "I strove for a different pleased she's so young ( a refreshing The most puzzling fact about Tanita to sound for every song. It was important to talent to pop music that should be around Ancient Heart me wasn't her lyrics, but how she broke me for all the music to be very different," for a while) and her words are found in into the music field at such an early age she added. Webster's as the antonym for dumb. Her without sounding like those other two She wanted it to be hard to describe music is incisive and her lyrics are Tanita Tikaram. Born of Malaysian and teenage pop stars. She said she didn't and it is. There are touches of folk, intriguing. She is an ancient heart and Fijian parents, she looks as exotic as her really consider being a professional country, Celtic, American pop, etc., etc. she's wearing it on her sleeve for all to name sounds, but today she's not feeling musician until she was seventeen. "It's I decided to humor her and not categorize see.. . and hear. Now, if she'd just stay very well. Some Indian food, New York different in England," she said in her her music. Actually, I jut don't know how. away from that NYC Indian food. City style, is making her stomach feel as 'Queen's English' accent. "America is so ancient as her heart. Though only 19 big that it's hard to be noticed. In England, years old, Tanita is making her presence it's not unlikely to be spotted after one known. gig." Apparently not, because her first gig Marxist SciFi film explores Ancient Heart, as a title, combined with was at the Mean Fiddler in December, her lyrics made me wonder if she was 1987, where Irishman Paul Brady (who dialectic of fantasy and reality lying about her age or if she's been appears on the opening track) was through a few past lives. A line in "For playing in another room. Someone who At the time of its release, Sight & All These Years" made such a suggestion: By Randy Turnbull was there to watch him, watched her The Sludenl Echo Sound's Richard Roud saw Alphaville as "I can't quite believe you are still there and instead and she was signed to WEA three "not only Godard's best film, but one of I'm still trying to be somebody." " Ancient months later. This week, French writer-director Jean- the most important in recent years," Heart is a provocative title, suggesting Her inspirations range from Joni Luc Godard's sci-fi thriller Alphaville combining comic strip iconography with searching, yearning or loss," she replied. Mitchell to Van Morrison to Jennifer (1965) concludes the Spring 1989 Godard's own sophisticated visual style "I choose just about anything to write of, Warnes. Most will remember Warnes for International Film Series presented by and political concerns. Chattanooga's Arts & Entertainment Godard, best know for such films as Council (AEC) and UTC's Association for Breath less (1959) and A Man and a Campus Entertainment(ACE). Woman(1961), was the most radical and Alphaville (subtitled A Strange controversial of the French New Wave Adventure of Lemmy Caution), like directors of the 1960's, who rejected Ridley Scott's Blade Runner(1982), "high culture" in favor of popular combines classic film noir intrigue with influences (particularly American). futuristic sci-fi in a bizarre advanture set A committed Marxist revolutionaray, in an alternate universe. Godard was uncompromising in his attack Intergalactic secret agent Lemmy on bourgeois values, for which he used Caution (Eddie Constantine) drives his pop culture as a springboard. car through "intersidereal space" to the Alphaville (initially, satirically and alien city-state ruled by super computer symbolically titled Tarzan vs. IBM) is a Alpha 60, where he must locate renegade prime example of this tendency in his scientist Von Braun, who fled the "Outer work before his politics overwhelmed his Countries." art in the bitterly nihilistic vision of THE "HEAT" IS ON! In Alphaville, such emotional concepts Wee/cend(1967). Need extra money for summer? as "love" are forbidden, the words For Godard, science fiction is "a frame stricken from the daily editions of the city's for reality," noted critic John Baxter Saving up for a vacation? Bible/dictionary. where "an alien mood is established EARN UP TO $100 MONTHLY Tranquilizers come with every hotel merely by placing in familiar locations the by donating plasma room; women are tattooed for elements of a fantasy plot." identification, with prostitution their Dispensing with the glossy high-tech Donate in April, May and June and be eligible for a normal role; and bathing beauties armed look of most movie sci fi, Godard used $1000.°° giveaway! Call now for more details. with knives kill those who disobey. contemporary Paris locations to create a As his official guide, Caution is dark, unearthly, sterile society where assigned Von Braun's daughter Natasha human values are outlawed. HOURS: ^P^ma alliance (Anna Karina) of the Institute of General This mirrors our own dehumanization Open 7 Days A Week Semantics, who begins to love him when by politics and technology: rule by he teaches her how. machines of any kind is evil. Alphaville Mon. — Thurs. 8 a.m.-8 p.m. But first, Caution must locate his looks like Paris because it really is Paris. missing predecessor, agent Harry Dickson Nevertheless, "The picture's originality Friday 8 a.m.-6p.m. (Akim Tamiroff), the third to fail in finding is not to be found in the film's cliched Von Braun (after Dick Tracy and Flash oppostion between emotion and Sat. and Sun. 9 a.m.-3p.m. Gordon). science," said critic Phil Hardy. The trail leads him to Professor Rather it is the director's exploration of 3815 Rossville Blvd. Nosferatu (Howard Vernon), the man his "philosophical and aesthetic ideas" 867-5195 behind Alpha 60. Ultimately, Caution must face and defeat the city's machine continued to p. 11 ruler if he and Natasha are to survive. April 14, 1989/Student Echo 11 v>y ray Birthday Party Alphaville <,treet poCt ray continued from p. 9 « The two women are putty in the hands continued from p. 10 « of the charming Goldberg and McCann—Meg is too senile and Lulu too within a pop-culture framework that homy to resist their ploys. Stan resists, but "intertwines the myth of Orpheus and the sexual set-up framed by the Euridyce with the Oedipus legend." overbearing duo eventually breaks him. "Such a freewheeling approach Endsley is excellent, displaying an provides the viewer with an astounding palette of negative emotions, uncommmonly wide and liberating range from snide wit to sloppy embarrassment, of pleasures," Hardy concludes, making c uneasy defiance to quivering terror; it "Godard's most romantically anarchic « Sharpe and Runyan portray the stoops, movie." s shuffles, and voices of old age with In-jokes include the casting of natural and unaffected ease; La Grone's Constantine in his already familiar role as rock m w*>'» c presentation Lulu is believable, whether Caution, a private eye created by Peter w down c0\A Uc¥> she is failing to seduce Stan or clinging, Cheyney; naming the missig agents after devasted and used, to Goldberg's leg; other pop-culture heroes; calling the and Henderson's deep-voiced charm and mystery scientists Von Braun (as in aloof reserve, teamed with Hendrix's Wehrner) and Nosferatu ("vampire," after explosive violence and Irish brogue, F.W. Murnau's version of Dracula); and creates the sinister undercurrent so casting two French film critics as scientists important to the action. Heckell and Jeckell). Though the first and third acts seemed Alphaville (French with English to move slowly at times, I found the Subtitles, b&w/98 minutes) is showing at prolonged buildup and denouement UTC in Grote 129 this Thursday, Friday neccessary contrasts to the brilliantly and Saturday (April 13, 14, and 15) at disorienting and well-staged violence of 7 p.m. and Sunday (April 16) at 2 p.m. the second scene. Admission is $3.00 anybody that is part of the UTC community to continue to show interest in the university. Wood's word \\sit for „dw By no means is the Student Government's •C° put uf JuA*"^ agenda already set for the fall and spring First of all I would like to express my semesters, but we are in the planning stages appreciation for the support that I received as right now. The SGA will be working hard over a candidate for president of the SGA. Being the summer to get organized once again and elected to this student body position makes me have an agenda set. I would like to encourage PARKING DECAL realize that you — the students, have faith in concerned students to write letters or notes me and my leadership abilities. addressed to me or the SGA, come by the RENEWAL I agree with the Echo's statement last week SGA executive office in the University Center that if 1 can provide greater service to the or give me a call at home — 756-4355 or the students, and can solve more problems, the SGA office - 755-4296. more respect I, as well as the SGA, will gain I am looking forward to a great year. This from the students. I also want to add that will be a busy year with many issues to be sometimes it is easy to lose sight -of what considered and several projects to be capacity the SGA president can be of sejrvice undertaken. The SGA needs your support for to the students. I think that is where the an effective year. Good luck on your Exams student steps in, I want you, everybody and and have a great summer. -Rick R. Wood RENEWAL of Reserved parking decals may be done on The library will extend its opening hours April 3,1989 through April 28,1989 at Parking Services, during final exam week. The extended Copies 833 Fortwood Street. Renewal will only be made in the hours of operation are: same lot held during Spring term. PAYMENT MUST BE MADE AT RENEWAL DATE. The decal will be issued by Before Parking Services cashiers during Fall fee payment August 24 and August 25 upon pressenting your receipt along Tuesday, April 18 with I.D. to the cashier. After fee payment renewals may 7:50 AM - 2 AM School be picked up at Parking Services. On August 24, reservations for remaining RESERVED Wednesday, April 19 When you have a deadline to parking decal space can be made at the Tennessee Room 7:50 AM - 2 AM meet, depend on Kinko's, the of the University Center beginning at 8 a.m. "open early" copy center. These procedures apply to reserved parking only. Sales Thursday, April 20 of GENERAL AND PERIMETER parking decals will be 7:50 AM - 2 AM held in Maclellan Gym and can be purchased at your kinkcs designated fee payment in the Parking Services Office, 833 Fortwood Street. Circulation services will the copy center end at 12 midnight. 326 McCallie Information required to purchase a decal includes Avenue LKENSE TAG NUMBER The library will resume its regular MAKE and MODEL of VEHICLE schedule on Friday, April 21. 265-6309 Thank you for allowing us to serve you! 12 Student Echo/April 14. 1989 EchoBulletin Board THE PRE-LAW CLUB INVITES TAKE A DAY OFF THE CONSERVATION CLUB WRITER'S SPRING SEMINAR all students and faculty to attend its with Ferris Bueller. The Association for wishes to express its thanks to the follow May 6 at the 23rd Street Ramada Inn. meeting on Tues., April 18 at 2:00 in the Campus Entertainment is presenting the ing people for making the tree plant this Sponsored by: East TN Romance Signal Mountain Room. The speaker will bizarre film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," past Tuesday a success. Bill Moffitt, Jim Writers, Inc. Chattanooga and Heart of be Mitzi Samples. The topic of discussion April 14 at 9:30 p.m. in Grote 129. Cummins, Charles Pyron,.as well as Dixie Romance Writers Alabama. is the Legal effects of AIDS. Come out and enjoy,IT'S FREE! everyone else who came out and helped. Aspiring and published writers are FOOD...MUSIC...WILD ANIMALS... STUDENTS MAJORING IN The new trees are residing comfortably welcome to attend the day-long seminar. around Holt Hall and the Vine Street The UTC Alumni Council would like to communications, advertising, marketing Workshops featuring some of today's Bridge. invite all students to the Spring Picnic Sat. and graphic design, there will be a most successful authors will focus on the April 15 from 12—2 p.m. It will be held meeting of the Public Relations Student ALL UTC STUDENTS, FACULTY, fundamentals of fiction writing, creativity, on the hill in front of the Bookstore. Music Society of America, Mon., April 17 in AND STAFF the writing process and the business of will be provided by "Midnight Hour," room 301 Frist Hall and you all are in are invited to lunch at the Wesley Center writing from the published author's point animals provided by Warner Park Zoo, vited to attend. at 607 Douglas St. on any Tuesday, j of view. lunch provided by UTC Food services. SCHOLARSHIP CONCERT Wednesday or Thursday at 11:30 — Attendance is limited so register today. Admission is $5 per person, payable at You are invited to attend the Dr. Littleton 12.30. The cost is $1.50 for students; the door. H. Mason Scholarship Concert Sun.. $2.00 for faculty and staff. The Wesley The seminar fee is $30.00 until April AMNICOLA MARSH April 16 at 5 p.m. in Patten Chapel. The Center is the home of the United 15th, $35.00 thereafter. Includes coffee is in need of assistance. It is being program is in honor of the late Dr. Lit Methodist & Presbyterian Campus breaks and lunch. For registration forms eutrophied at a rapid rate, and removal tleton H. Mason, assistant to the dean of Ministries at UTC. and more information, contact Jan Powell, 802 Ashwood Lane, of the existing willow trees is essential to students. The program will include per BESSIE SMITH HALL PRESENTS Chattanooga, TN 37415 (615) its survival as a wetland. The club is in dire formances by the Littleton Mason Gospel The Birthday Party of the Season! 875-9450. need of responsible persons to help them Singers and Maurice Williams, a memphis Starring SAFFIRE "uppity blues Sat., April 22, cut down the trees. They vocalist and UT£ graduate. It is free and women" in the premiers of the Bessie Cherchez les Femmes! also need chain saws and similar equip open to the public. Smith Hall Blues Women Series. It will The UTC Women's Club is sponsoring a ment. If you wish to help them please "ROOTS.ROCK, REGGAE, PARTY" take place at the Whole Note Restaurant, trip to the French Riviera this summer. contact J.C. 755-4643 or 757-8235. Here is your chance to indulge in one last, 508 M.L. King Blvd. April 15, 8:30 Cost for the 11-day trip (June 22—July MOCCASIN CHRISTIAN party before final exams. There will be a pm—1 am; tickets are $5. Advance 4) is $1453. Contact Carolyn Johnson at FELLOWSHIP INVITES YOU Reggae party April 15 from 8 p.m-12 tickets on sale at Chattanooga Venture, 755-5306 for more information and to join in Bible study and Worship every a.m. in the courtyard next to Guerry Hall. Live and Let Live, and the Central City registration details. Tues. evening at 7:30 in the Lookout Jam to reggae music. Jorts served. Complex. For more information call Mtn. Room, of the University Center. Jah Rastafari. 267-8687. Getting Personalsot IN A, To pterodactyl psychobitch no.2: Congratulations Cherron P, Muck, Whatever 1 catch, it will be worth it. Could it be Sorry, babe, but a pterodactyl will get eaten by a Nicole G , J.J Kirkpatrick, You deserve your name! possible that your concern is sparked by jealousy? War Eagle. You can't go! Vaughn M. and all the other Your Fearless Leader, Love. students who received leadership Michaelangelo — S.C. Bose pterodactyl psychobitch no. 1 awards Tues. night. We're sorry to cause such a problem in your life. We therefore promise that in your presence, we will Chuckie, Everette G. The Shin Splint Queen, neither speak to, look at, or acknowledge each other Have you stolen anything lately? You were rightyour name is GET OUT OF MY LIFE JERK. These five words in any way. appearing in the personals before 1 say to you! Get...out...of my life...Jerk! The Fuzzy Bunnies To: Chuckie you graduate. Hey. at least it didn't Lady Speedster Mr. B., contrary to what you believe, you must be appear as a Nupe Buster. Good luck Michaelangelo •- a student, which you have never been, at UTC to with graduation and remember us small She made me write this. receive a degree in Computer Science. Hint, to people when you make your first solo album. To Hiren D. Knight become a student, you need to bring your 0.757 Soprano Turn the lights on honey! CSTCC GPA up just a little bit. Guess Who Joker! From: Those Who Know The Real Deal Disco Dave. B Webster. HasBean. and the The joke's on you! Paperboy. To the Stud Queen of Spring Conference, Batman Does low GPA's drive people to steal? Bachelor number 5 was definitely the best looking. How about sharing some of those men (or their What happened to the rest of you? addresses) with your friends!! Chantay H., Shonda B., Belinda R., Denise P., and Kimberly J. — —Not quite as studly Donna B., I know it hurts and wounds take time to heal-but harold D. PS. Maybe next time we'll play table tennis for 5 Can you stand the rain? you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, both You are definetely a wimp. hours. inside and out. You have a beautiful personality, Everybody knows it-if they didn't they do now. To Danny you're smart, athletic, and kind-hearted. You're the Believe I wrote it! Sujeel-- Classes are almost out. I'll really miss you this girl most men can only dream about Believe me, Don't ever ask me to buy you candy-I can't take summer! every guy who has seen you feels this way. You've Steve W. the rejection. Denise got it all babe! Don't settle for less than the very best! I haven't figured out what -Vicki Someone who cares — you are-well 1 have but the Echo Good Luck with future plans Spring is here! Fuzzy Bunnies anyone? does not print obscene words. Class of 1984! Bull!!!!-and these lies took up a lot of space I can say though that you Echo Crew have one talent and it starts with Revonda C. I bet you didn't know the letter "T" To Vick: Seen Chuncey lately? that this is the first page that Wondering. Hal You're going to Scotland! How did you "mange a good percentage of the it? There you have it. and there she goes. Anorexic, Showbiz. University turns to when they Girl Talk Had a SNICKERS lately? May we go on a "Magical Bun Ride"? get the paper. It's a fact! Someone Rotten Marcus H. I enjoyed this job-pay stunk. Angel H- Happy 21st! Party hard, but stay out of trouble but I enjoyed it. Goodbye Caled. You know, not everyone got a guy this weekend tonight. J. S. goodbye Dayvon, goodbye Candi, It must have been all the late night showers. Who loves you! — Shower buddie Perhaps you're so negative Laura goodbye Chris, goodbye David and Greg about marriage because you and Neena and Michele and Angie and Sujeel. have as much capacity for commitment Christy, Goodbye compugraphic, goodbye disk. Hello Janiece, Have you done any exotic things with your tongue The name is Neena. not Chuck! as a black widow. lately? . Tuesday and Wednsday nights! Concerned Cuz! P S. What's to be /er'o-" of? — one of your shower buddies Ex Assist. News Editor April 14, 1989/Student Echo 13 the stock up on No-Doze, or any other Floyd . . . Shorts: That's good...click... prescribed study-aids (pizza, bean Yes, this is Shorts on sports, running 755-ECHO is the number, and your sprouts, ice cream, and other health down the scores and stories you want to phonecalls are flooding in...Here's a foods.) hear . . . Our next song goes out to request from Knoxville..."Members Our first song dates back to Yankee owner George Steinbrenner — Only", a great blues tune from Bobby 1966 . . . It's a Motown Classic "Stand by your Man (agers)," from Bland, dedicated to the Cherokee ncglis recorded in Muscle Shoals, Alabama, Dallas . . . Country Club... going out to Steve Garvey, former . . . It's my show! . . . Time now This next chart-topping hit goes out to altarboy turned Don Juan. Here's Percy for some phone fun, call the Champ Mike Tyson from his ex- By Richar Sledge and "When a Man Loves a 755-ECHO . . . Johnson City, Robin Givens "I Want a Man With a Slow Byington Woman (women)" . . . Have TN . . . Hello! Hi, this is Jenny Hand, I want a boxer with an easy mercy . . . Worley. touch...I want a man that can spend Echo Sports Editor It's an all request sports Echo - with some time...not knock out Spinks (or your host "Gym" Shorts . . . This me!) in a heaving rush..." Speaking of the next tune is dedicated to Oakland's 40-40 Tyson-Spinks fight (should we even man who can't slow down-Ticketmaster recognize it as one?), the bout raised Jose "Can you See" Canseco ... "I some serious questions. Does the electric SPORTS Can't Drive 55," make that a chair work faster than Tyson? (And to 125 . . . best wishes from believe the major squabble was whether WITH Smokey . . . they would fight 12 or 15 rounds...) With . . . Yeah buddy, you say it and we Michael Spinks, many men can play it . . . lets slow it down just a bit sympathize a simple case of premature SHORTS and play a country standard by Hank evacuation. Could DaVinci's Mona Lisa Williams. Here's "Your Cheating fetch $13 million as fast as Spinks painted "It's just a hobby." That's the way to look Heart ..." going out to Boston "the the canvas? Have faith true believers- at my other job as a radio announcer at hormonal" Sox, Wade boxing is like cocaine, we spend a local station. I take a Bo Jackson Boggs . . . from your mistress and thousands to watch someone assault an approach— spinning records is a hobby, road companion Margo Adams . . . opponent for 91 seconds. Thinking about so is sportswriting. If you have ever boxing?... Don't. . . . The five-time batting champ is § I'm a graduate cheerleader at ETSU wondered why my headlines sound like a popular fellow tonight — Mrs. Boggs and I would like to give a special request As All-Request Sports Echo comes to song titles, it just might be subconsious. has called to inform us that Wade is no to my basketball hero mister B. Green. a close, I leave you with the famous In this week's Corner Kick, I plan to longer a sex addict, and is now a singles Shorts: What do you have in mind, words of anchorman Dan Rather, apply both skills. man (he never could hit with power) to young lady?... "COURAGE." Later, sports fans. Hello campers! It's exam time here at celebrate the third baseman's moral ways, Worley: Play Elton John's "the Bitch is this great institute of learning. Time to we'll play "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Back!" 9©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©eL ADVERTISEMENT 9 (3 (3 (3 CRIME AT UTC 3 INf=1Hi Centers (3 9 <3 (3 How can UTC release Alice Tym, and retain those involved Don't Haul It - "Stall" It! (3 with the obscenity that passes for a phone system? (3 (3 Releasing Alice Tym exposes Obear and Packard as liars (3 <3 Colonial Storage Centers has stalls in a variety (3 when they say they care about students. We students love of sizes to fit any storage need. Visit our resident (3 Alice Tym and her courses, and if the administration <3 (3 manager to reserve your stall for the summer or (3 considered our needs and wishes, they would not release by the month. Colonial (3 one of the handful of teachers who can instruct on Asia, (3 StoraGe CLEAN • CONVENIENT • LOW RATES (3 geography, and life. (3 Centers (3 <3 (3 Students for Alice Tym Defense Fund <3 (3 Register (3 for a (3 ©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© FREE 19" nsiieiisiiviieiisiisHsiiviiciiviiciisiiAii^iiciicH^i^iiAH^ii^ii^i^ii^Hcii^ii^Hc^^iicii^ii^HeiieiisiisHeiK Color Come Live With Fellow Students § No purchase Void v,t, •. 2/3 Bedroom apts. piohibilec! 7 min. off campus w/d conn. MANSION I pool/tennis courts IDEAL FOR ROOMMATES HILL^l I APARTMENTS 101 Harding Rd. § 1015 Gadd Rd. • 266-3708 • 877-9077 877-8585 I Turn right off Vine St. to McCallie Ave Right to I I Georgia Ave. Right on Georgia. Cross Veterans I Bridge. Left on Market St. Right on N. Market for i • 2 miles. i • ll*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!)*!)*!!*!!*!^,!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!*!!^*!!*!!*!!*))*!i^ 14 Student Echo/April 14, 1989 UTC Rowing Team Continues To Improve By Scott Seal The Student Echo When Harvard and Yale had that first race in 1852, no oarsman could have had any idea how college rowing would grow. Today there are over 300 institutions that have rowing crews, and over 300 regattas per year in which to compete. American interest in rowing has been growing in the past few decades. Perhaps the two silver medals and the bronze medal that the U.S. National Team brought home from Seoul last summer are reflective of increasing involvement among collegiate rowing clubs. Cindy Truex; Student Echo L to R: Nandy Hurst, Greta Jenkins, Becki Kirk, Michelle Lilly, and coxswain Heather Nappo. v The collegiate clubs provide the U.S. 9 B.fl I B.B.t.U.B.BAflJUJLaiJLUJUtt B.tLB.B.fl.fl.B.fl Q Bfl.l.B.t.fl.B.fl.B.C.0.Q.8Xa.B.0.8_8_8 0 8 8 B_flJ.9.8.P.8 a B.fl 0 8 0 0 0 8 8. National Team with a large selection of rowers to draw from. As collegiate rowing becomes more involved, there are more competetive rowersi n the Olympics. However, not every crew shoots for the Olympics. Rowing is rewarding enough in COME FOR THE JOB itself whether the greatest accomplishment of the crew is winning the Dad Vails National Regatta or buying a new boat. It i really doesn't matter because each rower sets his or her own goals. Crews like testing themselves, whether against the clock, other teams, or personal ideals. Their satisfaction is not found in the applause of an audience, for there is no audience, but in the achievements set by their exacting demands. Why else would a crew get up at six o'clock every morning to row? Such determination took the UTC Crew .also known as the Lookout Rowing Club, to Augusta, Ga. this week to compete against such teams as the U.S. National Team, the Soviet and Bulgarian National Teams, the Imperial College of London, Dartmouth, Duke, Tampa, Princeton, and Tulane. However, the Augusta Invitational is not the biggest regatta of the year. The UTC Crew will be competing in the Dad Vails National Regatta in late spring where they will meet with their toughest competition, S**V &°?Jb ffwtf according to head coach Jack Fish. : Say good-bye to "dull" when you take a weekend or summer job at Six Flags Over HAVE Georgia! More than just a good paying oppor RECRUITER ON CAMPUS tunity, working at Six Flags can be the most : fun you've ever had. With a list of special QUESTIONS benefits that you can't get anywhere else- WEDNESDAY APRIL 12 including free parties and concerts; discounts ABOUT on gas, meals and gifts; special contests and promotions; and free park admission for you 10:00Ay - 1:00PM and your family. Plus, wwking at Six Flags is a CANCER? great way to meet new triends - for a young adult like you who wants to have fun, and UTC STUDENT CENTER CALL : get paid $400/hour for doing it. 1-800-4-CANCER CANCER INFORMATION SERVICE SIX FLAGS* OF TENNESSEE OVER GEORGIA IS? 'S it wnnri vrrrm a irronm a BiTiTreTnTmrmTrraTa'aTa'B a a a aara oo a BOO B B OO OC a April 14, 1989/Student Echo 15 Lookouts' History: Yesterday And Today By Don Cooke became a member of that league briefly, Engel Stadium. Those teams included The Student Echo then dropped out of baseball in (1965). Willie Mays, Jackie Robinson and Henry Ruth also used to tell a famous baseball Baseball "been bery, bery good'" to the Cooke: Who were some of the more Aaron. tale which he attributed to Engel Stadium. Chattanooga Lookouts. Last year, they colorful personalities among the Cooke: You mentioned Joe Engel, In an interview about his most memorable won their first Southern League original Lookouts? probably the Bill Veeck of minor home runs, the Bambino recalled, "The Championship since 1976. Moore: Early on, there was Strang league baseball. One of his one I hit in Chattanooga. On it went over This Saturday, April 15, the Lookouts Nicklin and Kid Elberfeld who would have promotions was Jackie Mitchell, the fence. . . and it went in a freight car open the home season in a newly been national names. Elberfeld managed who Engel signed to a Lookout (and traveled) 20 miles away from renovated Engel Stadium — one of the the New York Highlanders which became contract — the first woman to sign there. . .Imagine that, hittin' a ball 20 oldest stadiums still in use in minor league the New York Yankees. They're both miles from the ballpark without it baseball, with a history as rich and colorful from Chattanooga and played in the stoppin'." as Chattanooga baseball itself. major leagues a number of years. Moore observed: That may be a tall tale WUTC's Campus and Community Burleigh Gromes, who is a member of the because, if you look at the back of the Link Sunday featured an interview I did Hall of Fame, pitched for the Lookouts right field wall, it would take a LONG shot with Hugh Moore, the Looks' eminant in 1913, his first year in pro ball, at old to get from the stadium over to the historian. Moore is an attorney locally Andrews Field. A number of well-known railyards. with Witt, Gaither and Whittaker. Here's players of very early baseball got their start It may not be true, but who cares. what he had to say about the Lookouts or played here. Elberfeld came back in the That's baseball. And such great stories are past and present: 1920's and owned and managed the a pro baseball contract. One game part of baseball legend in Chattanooga. Cooke: Hugh, the lookouts began in Lookouts. in 1931 the New York Yankees came The Lookouts host the Birmingham 1885. That's probably on of the Cooke: Before Engel Stadium where to Engel Stadium and didn't she Barons, 7 p.m., Saturday, April 15, to longest baseball traditions of any were some of the places the strike out the Yank's famed open yet another season in grand ole minor league city. Lookouts played? "Murderer's Row"? Engel. Moore: 1 think that's true. The original Moore: Organized baseball was Moore: Jackie Mitchell was a popular, Southern League was formed in 1885. apparently first played on a vacant lot at successful young woman athlete here. The Lookouts were members of that the corner of Douglas and Vine Streets, And when the Yankees came through, 990Q0O00309O9 league along with Atlanta, Nashville, that's the Chamberlain Field area. Engel had her pitch an inning against Birmingham and Memphis. So, Andrews Field ws located where Engel them and she did strike out Babe Ruth, organized baseball here does go back at Stadium is now, but it ws in a different Lou Gehrig and (Tony Lazzari). There's ©eeeeee least a hundred years and there'd be few comer of the tract. Home plate was at the a famous Fox Movietone newsreel of that. cities in the country where baseball would corner of Third and O'Neal. And if you go back that far. see early pictures of Engel stadium when Cooke: I noticed there were some it opened in 1930, you'll see in the left years early on when Chattanooga did and left centerfield area there were large not operate a franchise. What were stands still there (from Andrews Field) those early years like? when Engel Stadium opened. . Also, HOWTO CRAM FOR SUMMER. Moore: I just have to assume that when the park was still segregated, that organized baseball wasn't all that was the entrance to the segregated organized prior to the turn of the century. portion of the "black" stands... in the left PUBLIC t! The first Southern League. . . played on field bleachers. STORAGE and off between 1885 and around the Cooke: For how many years was it li RENTAL SPACES ii -y-~ turn of the century. The actual Southern segregated? Association — the league that Moore: The Soutuern Association Chattanooga was a member of until it remained a segregated league until it disbanded in the late 1950's — formed disbanded in 1959 or 1960. Of course, in 1901 and operated continuously until the Chattanooga Black Lookouts played it disbanded. here in the 1920's. In fact, Satchel Paige, Cooke: Subsequently, the new the Hall of Famer, his first pro team was league formed? the Black Lookouts. Also, major league Moore: Well, the Southern Association teams who held spring training in Florida disbanded, frankly, over the issue of traveled north by train. Chattanooga was desegregation. And the South Atlantic a major rail center. 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Limit one space to a customer. Does not include Applicable deposits or fees. Offer expires May 30, 1989. UTC's Greg Bean attacks two-time Olympian Mark Smith at the Atlanta Open. Bean lost 5-1. 16 Student Echo/April 14, 1989^ Echo Mocs Tennis Team Runs Record To 21-0 By John Prine another player in Venezuela. The player communication major. "I've seen a new game forever. Surprisingly, he didn't pick The Student Echo ended up going to the University of South culture and the way things work here. I've up a racquet until the age of 15. Carolina. As a result, Bartlett turned to met a whole different approach to life. It A baseball player during his childhood Rodolfo Benitez has played an Benitez, offered a scholarship and he gave me a chance to get a degree that I years, he gave up America's past time instrumental part in the UTC Men's tennis accepted. wanted." for the racquet. It's been a move that has program the last three years and this "Looking at my years here, it's been a Based on his success at UTC, you seen the best and worst of times. season is no exception. real didactic experience," said the would think Benitez has been playing the "When I first started playing, I didn't do Benitez, along with fellow seniors too well," Benitez recalled. "But, I Phillip Signore, Bill Kopp and Martin enjoyed playing and 1 played a lot of Smith have led the Mocs to a 21-0 tournaments. By the time I was 18, I team record this year. Playing as the started winning." number two seed, Benitez has amassed He also credits coach Bartlett with his a 20-1 dual record this season. Victories winning ways at UTC, especially with have come over Furman, Austin Peay, match preparation. MTSU, James Madison, Western "He's great with strategies," said Carolina and Alabama-Birmingham. Benitez, who has a 3.4 cumulative grade Successes nothing new to the men's point average. "He knows how to get you program nor Benitez. Since arrriving n psyched up. If I'm playing bad and he 1986 from Caracas, Venezuela, Benitez gives me advice, I'll win." has accumulated a 115-10 career record. And it's •» vinn ing attitude he's had Why has Benitez \heen so successful, ever since * tri the Southern Conference especially this year? tournament coming soon, Benitez likes "1 ended up switching racquets from a | his chances, as well as the team's hopes, Caniso (an Austrian racquet) to a iat a conference title. Dunlop," Benitez said. "1 can win with the L to R: Seniors Martin Smith, Philllpe Signore, Rodolfo Benitez and Bill Kopp. o Furman will be extremely hard to beat Dunlop — it's a more powerful racquet and The Citadel is very tough, according and it's improved my serves and volleys." to Benitez, consequently, the Mocs were The 5'8, 160 pound Benitez credits his able to defeat Furman last week. It was success this year to another factor as well. the first victory over the Paladins in four He feels more relaxed on the court this years. year since there is no pressure to keep his "That was a great win — it was very scholarship. special for all of us," said Benitez, who "Here at UTC we sign our has won two conference titles at the scholarships in September. Each year our number three position the last two years. scholarships are renewed by our "There are some good teams in the performances in the Spring season," conference, but if we keep up our level he said. "I'm less concerned now because of intensity that we have now we can this is my senior year. I feel very relaxed do really well." on the court." Regardless of his success in the Fortunately for Benitez and fellow conference tournament, Benitez has seniors Signore, Kopp and Smith, they achieved success in the classroom. He will have never had to worry about their graduate this semester with a scholarships. Communication degree with an emphasis Signore, a native of Paris, France, in Broadcast and Electronic Media. currently sports a record of 18-3 this year But this does not mean his playing while holding down the number one spot. days are over. After graduation, Benitez Kopp, out of Pittsburgh, PA is at 18-3 will leave for West Germany where he will while playing as the number three seed play two months with the Cham tennis while Australian Martin Smith is 17-4 at club team in the West German leagues. number foui The four came into the After his stint in Europe, he will then program together and will leave together. return to Venezuela hopefully to a job in "We're a close group — the four of us the broadcasting profession. came in as freshman," Benitez said. "The "There are plenty of opportunities in two new guys (Scott Evans at 5 and Venezuela," Benitez admitted. "1 will Darren Royal at 6) have come into the work, but I will always play tennis. I would groove, We're all good friends'who get also like to go for a master's degree in a along well. It gives us a great atmosphere year or so." on the court." Chances are he will. Four years ago, Although Benitez arrived in 1986 he Benitez arrived at UTC by accident. This almost never arrived at all. In fact, he time, when he decides to pursue his arrived by "accident." Back in 1985, UTC master's degree.it won't be by accident. coach Tommy Bartlett was recruiting Venezuelan tennis star Benitez excels on the court and in the classroom. Clndy TniM The Ecch has been found to be an ex tremely effective tool in the offending of the easily offended. . .so. If you have a weak stomach or a fragile ego. . »r superego, please close your eyes at you tum the next four pages. EndOf The-Year Moc §£&..»By £ Suds: Grading on the Curve Ecch Porn and Obscenity Editor It's official: From next semester, Vine Street High School students will be allowed to determine their own grades — with a little help. That's right, the new move follows the Provost's acceptance of a plan by monkey business professor Dr. Chantek, who is also the founder of the Global Guzzlers Guild. "It's easy," says Dr. Chantek, who also teaches a graduate level course in sex education,"the plan calls for the equitable redistribution of resources: students who have excess amounts of either sexual energies or readily available capital can simply turn over to their professor those valuable and cherished resources in lieu of actual course work." A subarticle in the plan calls for teachers to be given the opportunity to review their student evaluations and make "any necessary changes" on the forms. According to Dr. Chantek, "After all, we're the teachers... we know what's best. And besides, students shouldn't be allowed to say or think anything they didn't hear straight from their teacher's mouth. This would solve the problem we currently have with the student evaluation process, since every professor would get exactly what he deserves — free drinks, free sex, and guaranteed tenure." Asked how he came up with the idea, Dr. Chantek said," I just hit on the idea. No. . .1 hit on my female students. For that matter, I hit on my male students, Graduate aaalatant from the School of Monkey Bualneea screen* students lor Dr. Chantek'* Spring semeater claas, MBIS 232: Social Drinking aa Enhancement to Academic Performance. too, but only if they agree to get me Breathallaer testa will precede each class meeting, students who fall to maintain a blood alcohol content ol at least .25 will be asked to withdraw from the class. sufficiently inebriated." 'With me, fair is foul, and fowl is fairer, secretary said he will be "tied up" with evenings counseling depressed co-eds in Dr. Chantek doesn't see any breach of so exchange is okay by me.' " advising students "for a long, long time." his office. "You can probably catch him ethics with the plan. "To paraphrase Dr. Chantek's spiritual mentor, Dean The Ecch attempted to reach Bonzo at at his office. I did. . . once. The little runt Shakespeare — which is something every of Monkey Business, Bonzo Bonehead, his home during television prime time, but had his face in somebody'scontinued in teacher should do whenever possible — was unavailable for comment. His his former wife said he spends all of his the next Ecch. . Speaking Of Sex, Here's the SGA By Fartpoo Ballsack Whoever's left will probably have a love- nedy) . "We're fighting all because Max Man. The Stupid Ecch in, or some dumb sixties thing like that." wellhouse hasn't had a piece of ass since Vice-President Randy "Love Tractor" The bill was proposed by Sen. Ashtrey Reagan knocked over Grenada!" The Whoop seemed pleased with the pro The Stupid Government Ass., in a Maxwellhouse (good till the last drop), senators agreed (for once) and quickly ceedings, but then he always looks like typical gutless move, declared war on who felt the urge to go invade something. passed wind . . . and a resolution that after naptime. As soon as someone itself Tuesday. Nobody noticed. SGA Seeing that there were few willing declaring the week of finals as "Sexual explained to him what was going on, he President Knave Chalkdust immediately volunteers in the audience who wished to Harrassment Week". became more pleased. The veritable approved the measure. His reason? be invaded, Maxwellhouse turned his Sen. John MacDoughboy expressed Veep pledged to support the bill "As soon "It's always been my hope to bring the sights on his fellow colleagues. displeasure. "I am displeased," he said. as I find out what sex is." SGA together. What better way to bring "1 can't believe this!" screamed Sen. MacDoughboy was quickly shouted harmony? Let 'em kill each other. Great Delights (who is not Jack Ken down, and went back to reading Spider- Dean Gets Sexy Secretarial Trio And What By Cryin' Chicks The Stupid Ecch About His Dean Rockhead Rennaissance has let it be known that he's overjoyed with the New Ass.? performance of his new "secretarial corps." The corps, an elite group of three By Tres Cliche supersecretaries, replaced Rennaissance's The Stupid Ecch former helpmate in early October. Dean of Stupids Rockhead "These girls are real take-charge types. Renaissance has high praise for his new They do all of my work for me in one- Ass., Hickie Mushrie: he thinks she is third of the time it used to take Frail, my even better than his former Ass.. Knave ex-secretary," said Renaissance, adding Robnerds. that Frail Bean — the Dean's former "Let me put it this way," Renaissance secretary, you know — "was just too nice said, "Knave Robnerds was a real Ass., to fit in with the hard-nosed image the but Hickie has all the qualities of a great Overlord of. . .1 mean Dean of Student's Ass. I used to have a so-so Ass., but my Office wants to project." new Ass. is the best." Rennaissance says he plans to keep his Hickie was visibly upset with all the beloved corps under employment "until attention which has been placed on her hell freezes over. . .or they lose their new position as the personal Ass. to the looks, whichever comes first." Dean of Stupids, though she said her Asked which one comes first, the Dean tears were tears of joy. replied, "Susan, usually, but that all "I just love being Dean Renaissance's depends on whether Amanda has a Ass., boo hoo hoo." Hickie wept. headache.... Hey, you can't print that, Asked what her duties are, Hickie you know. I mean it. My chess buddies cried, "Basically, all the shit the dean can't would be really jealous." handle comes down and goes through Rumors have been flying amid the me." uproar over allegations Rennaissance and Tears continued to flow down the his secretaries have been engaging in Ass.'s face as she turned and walked sadomasochism (S&M) and bondage away from reporters. "I'm so sorry," she during office hours (see accompanying sobbed, "but I must go now. I have an photograph). Rennaissance denies the assignment to infiltrate the ranks of the charges of sadomasochism. "I've been Dean Of Stupids Rockhead Rennalsance clowns around with his new Secretaries campus radicals and hit them up for accused of sadism in the past, but I've "Well, you see, I've had lots of fun in the my own policies, so I ordered the girls to information." never been a masochist, except maybe in past by putting shackles and chains on tie me up. They seemed to enjoy it, and Vine Street High School students can allowing the Ecch to go to print." student activities, and I just thought I I thought it would make a good escuse feel confident that this weeping Mata Hari Bondage is another story, however. should see how it feels to be tied up by for avoiding phone calls," he said. will accomplish her mission. Geraldo Rivera Silenced by Twit Mushing Mushing said, "I couldn't take it anymore. By Cryin' Chicks Any guy that can make you feel sorry for The Stupid Eccn Charles Manson deserves to be knocked upside the head." In his second accident of the year, As a result of this incident, Mushing is "television journalist" Geraldo Rivera had rumored to be the recipient of one of the his jaw broken after Dr. Twit Mushing of highest honors in the journalism field later the Massive MisCommunication this year. Although no one seems to be department hurled a Law and Ethics able to pin down exactly which award it textbook at the overzealous reporter. will be, a book deal is currently being Rivera, on campus to film a talk show negotiated, with Bob Woodward set to condemning pornography, sparked write Mushing's biography. Mushing's anger after claiming "Dan Darkden said Rivera's lucky he's still Martino is the only person in Chattanooga alive after the bad reputation he has with any brains." placed firmly on the shoulders of all Mushing reportedly then stood up, journalists. took the textbook which he claimed "I'm surprised somebody hasn't already included "253 codes of ethics that killed him," Darkden said. "If he thinks madman (Rivera) disregarded" (during Mushing's bad, they ought to lock him in the 30-minute show), and threw it at a room with Dan Rather." Rivera, striking the self-proclaimed "Host As just punishment to Rivera, Darkden with the Most" on the right side of his suggested all wanna-be television face. Although the show was disrupted again. across America. The two were quickly journalists go to Rivera's hospital room, and had to be re-scheduled, Mushing Mr. Slob Darkden, also of the Massive incarcerated, but were soon released for hurl questions erratically at the downed received a standing ovation for what one MisCommunication department, said "it disturbing other inmates. reporter, and answer the questions member of the audience called "his heroic is highly symbolic that a copy of Law and themselves, without waiting for, or and selfless penultimate deed." Ethics in the Mass Media shut that bozo's "It's been a wild week here," said one wanting, a reply. Rivera, who was immediately rushed mouth. I didn't realize it before, but Twit's person in the administration who wished As for Mushing, he said his plans are to Erlanger hospital where he had to have got a hell of an arm." to remain unnamed, incognito, and to continue teaching at Vine Stree High his jaw wired permantly shut, was unable After Mushing escaped out the back infertile. "It's gotten us (Vine Street High and go on with his life as normally as to speak to reporters, but offered much door with the help of Darkden, Martino, School) nationwide coverage, so I guess possible. However, "1 think I'll take my in the way of hand gestures. Doctors say with the help of his illegitimate son, Runty we should be thankful. That guy deserved vacation this year in Chicago. Don't they Rivera may never be able to badger talk Low, took over the proceedings and it anyway." film Phil Donahue there?" show guests or bad-mouth Al Capone broadcast pictures of aborted fetuses all In an exclusive interview with the Ecch, MclnTush Wyoming Horowitz the computer for Hasidic Communist assholes n Polka Singer i ^W' __ , Jirs ^'tsi^VL j f Singing His ., A A Smash Hits V*VfcVfc^V^;¥¥*V*V* wiT. I o "Those Goyim Girls" Domino Pizzas and a Diamonds Are a pepperoni Boy's Best Friend"* Actual Size Just right for plus boring people on "Heavy Metal Hava Nagilah" DIETS The silver-tongued minstrel of the Great Northeast Will you love it? God forbid! / (Our Famous Pitta" 2 tastes the same as " 866-7625 Our Famous Coupon0) Phone ^ (TOO-SMALL) C* Sponsored by local GUPS & JDL i]^ei_P££^^ by 9000 Pail 00* of school Only in4ere<»-f ii Aever go +o cta$s Bad (^racU^ cAv*-Q~ o*ly j /eFf\ Street poe+- Qy Ashtray Maxwellhouse, President of the High School Rerunicans, proving he is really a moderate Pummel Horse — Well, here we go again with another ridiculous Issue of the Ecch You'd think somebody would have enough sense to stop us before for losing equestrian we cause general embarassment to everybody, but noooool! Seems entries. like that silly thing called the First Amendment still exists, which is why we get the opportunity to do (tuff like this. So there Full-contact Fencing The opinions of this trashy tabloid can be summed up In one word Cross-country Wrestling This Is a joke Uneven Table Tennis For those of you who don't know what that means, let us put to you Synchronized Boxing this way Please don't sue us We haven't got the money and besides getting mad over this simply makes you look like a sourpuss Which Olympic Mascot Shooting you probably are. Keeping this in mind, we feel obligated to main tain our Ruppert Murdoch-style of Integrity. Heh. heh, heh Should this upset God's favorite pests, namely Mssers Lowe and Courtesy of a fat professor who com Lohr. then that's fine and dandy with us. Balance-beam pulsively wears a baseball hat to hide his Basketball balding dome. Y'all have a nice Christmas, y'hear?