Life Writing Prize 2021

Life Writing Prize 2021 Longlist Anthology Life Writing Prize 2021 Longlist Anthology The Life Writing Prize has been made possible thanks to a generous donation by Joanna Munro. We’d also like to thank the Goldsmiths Writers’ Centre for their partnership on the Prize. First published in Great Britain in 2021 by Spread the Word. Copyright © remains with the authors. All rights reserved. CONTENTS Foreword 5 Santanu Bhattacharya The Nicer One* 8 Carla Jenkins Carving 21 Matt Taylor Tromode House 36 Sara Doctors Grief Bacon 46 SJ Lyon People That Might Be Us 61 Lois Warner White Lines* 68 Nic Wilson By The Wayside 81 Laura McDonagh Commonplace 94 Penny Kiley How To Watch Your Mother Die 108 Imogen Phillips Taken and Left* 119 Susan Daniels The Secret* 136 Pete Williams The Strawbs 143 Acknowledgements 158 About Spread the Word 159 *Trigger warning: these stories include references to sexual assault, violence, rape and child sex abuse. FOREWORD The Spread the Word Life Writing Prize, in association with Goldsmiths Writers’ Centre, is now in its fifth year. The twelve pieces featured in this anthology form the longlist selected from over 900 entries sent in from across the UK. In a challenging year they are proof that life writing is thriving. As with last year, the judging took place virtually with Catherine Cho, Damian Barr and Frances Wilson deliberating to pick a shortlist of six, followed by two highly commended entries and one winner. The winner of the Life Writing Prize 2021 is The Nicer One by Santanu Bhattacharya, a piece that mixes the familiar experience of bumping into a childhood classmate at a party with a harrowing retelling of schoolboy abuse. Catherine Cho described it as a ‘gut-punch of a piece that reads like a taut thriller.’ Frances Wilson hailed it as ‘a masterclass in the exploration of trauma,’ while Damian Barr commented that Bhattacharya’s piece ‘ends on a powerful note of healing which manages not to be too neat — the idea that telling our story for ourselves is healing.’ The two highly commended entries are Carla Jenkins’Carving and Matt Taylor’s Tromode House. Written in part to capture memories of her father, Jenkins’ Carving is both a touching exploration of the father-daughter bond, and the fragility of remembrance. Damian Barr described it as, ‘a vibrant character study that shows flair.’ Catherine Cho remarked on its ‘immediacy that was striking and unusual,’ while Wilson commented on the nuances of the portrayal of the father as both ‘hero and antihero.’ Taylor’s Tromode House recounts the chain of events that led him and his brother being taken into care – but emotionally this is far from the story you might expect. Frances Wilson noted that ‘here is a writer who holds the reader in the palm of his hand,’ while Cho commented on how it was both ‘heartbreaking and humorous.’ Damian Barr commented on how Tromode House explores the ‘tragedy of lack,’ but with a sense of 5 ‘excitement of escape, which many would fear.’ Three entries were shortlisted. Sara Doctors’Grief Bacon is a touching and humorous food memoir, ‘Ephron vibes!’ Damian Barr exclaimed while Cho noted that it ‘thrums with a real energy and life.’ SJ Lyon’s People That Might Be Usexplores what it means to celebrate a birthday as a queer person. Frances Wilson described it as, ‘fragile, poised and intangible – a tremendous achievement.’ Damian Barr praised it as, ‘a vulnerable examination of being a butch queer woman. Of having to hide to survive and then trying to thrive after that.’ Lois Warner’s White Lines covers four seasons spent recovering in a cottage following a violent assault. Damian Barr commented on how it is ‘rich with strong nature writing and folded in upon itself with magical elements,’ while Catherine Cho described it as, ‘a finely crafted exploration of loss and healing with beautiful prose.’ Our final six pieces cover a diverse range of themes from nature to the loss of a parent, family histories, sexual abuse and a little rock ’n’ roll. Nic Wilson’s By The Wayside entwines a family memoir with a love of nature, Frances Wilson described it as ‘an ambitious meditation on memory and the senses, with its roots in the soil of John Clare.’ Laura McDonagh’s Commonplace begins with the death of a parent then journeys to an exploration of the Irish diaspora, ‘full of betwixt and between—life and death, Ireland and England, middle and working class,’ as Damian Barr described it. Penny Kiley’s How To Watch Your Mother Die is a guide to coping with the loss of a parent viewed through the lens of autism. Catherine Cho described it as, ‘an unflinching examination of grief that feels very moving.’ Imogen Phillips’ Taken and Left details the years of trauma and recovery following a rape. Damian Barr expressed his respect for the author in sharing this story. He described her description of disassociation as both ‘affecting and disarming.’ The Secret by Susan Daniels centres childhood experiences with an abusive father and summoning the courage to seek help. Frances Wilson noted Daniels’ ‘terrific eye for detail and grasp of narrative control,’ while Catherine Cho described the piece 6 as, ‘haunting and claustrophobic, it is unflinching in its examination of pain and trauma.’ Our final entry isThe Strawbsby Pete Williams, an endearing retelling of his teenage guitar lessons with a former member of a progressive rock band long since fallen out of the limelight. Catherine Cho described it as ‘an incredibly polished and confident piece of writing that explores the subject of unfulfilled ambition in a moving way,’ while Frances Wilson declared it had ‘perfect pitch’. In such a challenging year, everyone who entered this Prize deserves our applause for sharing what is most intimate, raw, and truthful. It is a pleasure to share with you the exceptional pieces of life writing in this anthology. I’m honoured to help share their endeavours and look forward to supporting them as they make their next steps as authors. Bobby Nayyar Spread the Word May 2021 7 Winner The Nicer One Santanu Bhattacharya Santanu Bhattacharya grew up in India. He started his writing life with short stories. In 2012, he won the Chapter One Promotions Short Story Prize. In 2021, he won a London Writers Award and was selected for the Tin House Writers’ Workshop in Portland, USA. His work-in-progress novel was longlisted for the BPA First Novel Award 2020. His non-fiction essays have appeared in The Oxford Student, Feminism in India, and the book Revealing Indian Philanthropy (published by London School of Economics). Santanu has degrees in public policy from Oxford University and in engineering from National University of Singapore. He works as an education consultant and has previously worked with the United Nations, British Civil Service and Teach For India. After having lived in eight cities across three countries, Santanu now lives in north London. @santanu_x 8 The Nicer One Santanu Bhattacharya When you turn around, I instantly know who you are. In fact, I know even before that. Not that I have any reason to be familiar with the shape of your head, the bulges and ripples of your back muscles, the close crop of hair in short curls, but it all falls into place in a nanosecond, only in the way human minds can work, the way no computer with the most advanced artificial intelligence can. It has been twenty-two years, and yet I know. I thought I’d put all that behind me. In fact, I told myself it wasn’t me. It was a different person in a different world leading a different life. It was a story I liked to tell sometimes as if it were someone else’s, when the wine was flowing aplenty, when close friends were opening up about their pasts. The first time I told it, it hurt – I was unprepared and unscripted; I blurted it out in an impulsive moment and felt shivers go down my throat into my chest and down to my stomach. But now… I am an expert, seasoned, choosing the right words and pauses, taking sips of wine at key moments, looking into my listeners’ eyes as they shake their heads in horror. In this story, I have successfully journeyed from victim to survivor to winner. They hug me, leave wet lipsticked pecks on my cheeks, tell me I can call them anytime I want, can count on their support. After they leave, I wash and dry the wine glasses, and fold the words back into their box and put it on the high shelf along with the Christmas decorations. And just like no two Christmas trees are decorated exactly the same way, the baubles and lights and reindeer never twice on the same branch, my words too will slightly change the next time they are brought out, sequences rearranged, dialogues rewritten, intonations tweaked. It is an alive and living thing, a story. Yet now, when you turn around, all the words melt away into beads of 9 Santanu Bhattacharya THE NICER ONE perspiration on my scalp. I wish my face to be suddenly disfigured so you won’t recognise me, wish you’d have a lapse of memory. But you’re flashing that sideways smile on your handsome face, walking towards me with your hand held out for a shake. We were the outsiders, you and I, in a world where everyone seemed too well-settled. We were the uprooted ones in a sea of the rooted – the ones who spoke with accents, had back stories, had a bit of the exotic about us.

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