Bodypainting: Retouched Due to last minute confusion (no one could 7 find the room) the body painting workshop was cancelled. However due to the The Truth, The Whole Truth of Thursday, April 15 popularity of this item it is hoped that a future convention will pencil it in.

A special post-convention issue (2nd ed). ...We don't need no stinking Printers The Newsletter of Concourse, the 55th British Apparently the missing newsletter printer did National Science Fiction Convention () turn up, in a box, covered by stuff, underneath a table, behind a table cloth, in the Art Show, behind a If you weren't there then this isn't going to make much sense. door marked “Beware of the Leopard”. Mind you even if you were there this still might not make sense. Roller Coaster More Dangerous than biking? Pressing Ctrl-Alt-Delete on Zen Several fans went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach the This reporter was surprised to note that one of the day after the convention. Noel “Toolman” Collyer and lecturers that he had at university, one Andrew A I did the “standing on the ground watching” and very Adams, was on the panel. Having slept through entertaining it was too. Munquie enjoyed all the roller many a Design Methodologies lecture, this reporter coasters though Liam Proven banged his leg on one had grown to consider Mr Adams as having quite the of the rides. sedative effect. It thus came as quite the relief for this reporter when the panel proved to be full of Hugo Nominees At Concourse interesting discussion and not a wink of sleep was had. [Neil somebody or other] ZZ9 Boring? Your editor was expecting ZZ9 to do something really interesting this convention in order to get lots of plugs in the newsletter, but no. Nothing. Nothing except complain about the lack of gossip. We generated some of our own by getting this bondage Beeblebear into the newsletter room and flat out onto our stretcher where we took photos. These photos will be appearing on a secret website soon or possibly available on CD if we get round to it. Back: Jeffrey Ford, Jim Burns, Mark Roberts, , Front: Cherryl Morgan, Charles Stross. Catering Not only does British conventions drink bars dry but Convivial this time Deep Pan Pizza ran out of cheese! The Newsletter Award for “Best Dressed Convention There have been many people muttering about the Runners” goes to price of pints in the Winter Gardens bars. Apparently Convivial - the Civilised the central London prices were despite an Convention on the agreement with the committee to charge sensible Scientific Romance. amounts. Convention attendees voted with their feet Victorian themed at the Dead Dog party on Tuesday and visited local science fiction in all its drinking establishments. The conference centre forms, from Jules Verne probably lost several hundred pounds in takings to the League of because of their short sitedness. Extraordinary Gentlemen. Plokta What? Quality Central Hotel, Was there any Plokta.con publicity at all at Glasgow. Eastercon? Is anyone going to be there? I hope I can (http://www.empire get a last minute room, membership and pirate suit. wideweb.com/) Release 3.0, May 1-3 2004, Newbury http://www.plokta.com/plokta.con/ Guest of Honour Report? There was an article recently in the Guardian Site Review. (available online) by GoH Chris Priest about his You are in a maze of twisty turning passages all alike attempt to claim Pension Credit. It makes amusing reading in a “black comedy / red tape” sort of way. The Tartan: restrung The winning entry for 2003/4 was “Lost There are moves a foot to get “Tartan:restrung” Things Saved in Boxes” by Deirdre Ruane, nominated for a Dramatic Presentation Hugo at a London-based writer originally from Interaction (The Glasgow in 2005!) Find Dublin. Deirdre's story was chosen from a out more at www.worldcon.org or read your PR's.Like field of over 100 entries other David Wake productions there will be a video from all over the world, available – and maybe, for the first time, a DVD. including Brazil, Contact him for more info. Australia, New Zealand Early in the 21st Century, the world was ravaged and the United States. by three plagues: an outbreak of Foot and Mouth [James Shields – led to the culling of all the cattle and sheep, an http://www.lostcarpark.com/ ] epidemic of Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes destroyed all the cats, dogs and fluffy bunny rabbits. Finally, a plague of Bums (Photo to left: Shock evidence that the and Tums killed all the Aerobic Instructors. Mankind, out of James White Award administrator shape and bereft of animal friends, took to carrying cuddly toys. James Bacon does actually own a suit! ) THE Gepetto and Son CORPORATION advanced android evolution into the NEXUS phase - a being After the Con virtually identical to a human - known as a Toy. Their slogans went from “Almost Human”, to “More Human than Human” and, Messages you don't want to see after arriving home: finally, “Buy One, Get One Free”. NEXUS 4 Toys were a bit "You have 4857 messages in your inbox to download". hopeless compared to the generic engineers who created them. But they were very, very cute. Toys were used Off-world as slave labour, in the hazardous exploration and colonization of other Gossip planets and in the bedrooms of sad individuals who never really A convention goer woke up on Saturday morning to grew up. discover she was in the wrong hotel room! All After a bloody mutiny by an Action Man Combat perfectly innocent, of course. She tried to leave Team, Toys were declared illegal on earth - under penalty of death. Special police squads - STRING CUTTER UNITS - had without the room's owner discovering her but was orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Toy. unsuccessful. She then discovered that she was also This was not called execution. in the wrong hotel! It was called gafiation. “1/2r where's yer trowsers” [Nicked from the Tartan:restrung script by David Wake] One of the items which went missing over the Last time I helped out with the newsletter at an weekend was a pair of embroidered trousers Eastercon David Wake broke a leg falling off of stilts belonging to 1/2r. I couldn't bring myself to announce used in an “Alien” masquerade costume . This year this in the newsletter at the time but did remind was a lot better. Apart from a few bruises during the people to look after their bags. 1/2r's trousers were freeway crash in Captain Tartan there were no found. They made their way to the art show, then injuries. However we have just gotten a report that went up to the green room, then probably went to David's mum now has one fewer dining chairs than some parties and a ride on the Pepsi Max Big One usual as David has just broken his leg with one. before heading back and being reunited with a very Doc Weir Award happy 1/2r. This was announced over the ops radio system which resulted in various staff members Robert “NoJay” Sneddon won falling over laughing in the middle of the final the Doc Weir award. A feedback session. [Chris O'Shea and Claire Brialey] movement to get more women awarded has been started. Eastercon Future Belated Birthdays The programme item discussing the future of Dave Langford 10th April, was well attended and seems to be Dave Hardy 10th April. something worth talking about. There was further discussion of the trademarking of “Eastercon” for the Credits: purposes of conferences and meetings. This was done essentially to stop anyone else from doing it – Oh sorry. I had so many people helping over the but Dave Lalley expressed an interest in weekend that I forgot to write everyone's names trademarking “Eastercon” for use with tins of beans. I down. Especial thanks go to John Dallman, David think he was trying to make a point but I am not sure Haddock, David Stewart, and Steve Lawson for what it was. Jonjo Lewis-Jones apologised for writing photos, the “Third Row” for turning up and to the Hanover in Hinckley inviting them to tender for volunteering, DougS for typing, and for Munquie for future Eastercon bids. This had confused the hotel putting up with the fact that I spent the entire which is the site for Paragon 2, the 2005 Eastercon, convention in the newsletter room. THANKS. in Hinckley. http//www.paragon2.org.uk This special post convention Pure mathematicians only ... edition of “LieJournal” has ... might like to learn that Lie Journal has been put been brought to you by Alex together by a Lie Group. [Dougs] McLintock and many contributors.