Archaeological Dig Blown Open

By INDIANA BONES across the desert only to be found in a McGowan, vice president for student affairs, Late Wednesday night a group of somber stream," said Wines. When asked to disagreed and suggested the hole would be students from Hughes Hall and possibly be a little clearer, he said, "Those damn kids, beautiful for a new swimming pool. Queen's Court planted three sticks of I'd like to bury them alive." "I think it's a great idea," McGowan dynamite within the archaeological site, Gilbert seemed even more disheartened. said. "It's right next to the Administration detonated the explosives and left a huge "I woke up early every morning, digging Building and I'm sure Joe (Fr. O'Hare) cavity in its place, shovel for shovel. We were making would love to tip-toe over there in the "I heard the blast from Spellman," said progress," he said. "Why, we even found morning in his Bermuda shorts to take a dip. AnneSmithe, FC'91. some broken glass, cigarette butts and a I think it is also in the tradition of this Jesuit Four students were seen scampering toothbrush." institution to do this at this time." away from the site minutes before the Certain students in the project The directors of the project think explosion took place, according to Tom disagreed. otherwise, however. Courtney, director of security. Two of the "That's bull," said Mike Foley, FC'89. "Let bygones be bygones," Wines said. students were apprehended by IBI guards "I worked on that project for weeks as part "Let's bury the thing and get out of there. I and are being, held in Keating Rotunda for of my anthropology requirement. All's he put a lot of time and feeling into that hole further questioning. had me do was brush the dust off a rock with and I just want to begin to forget." When The Ram interviewed the students this little broom. God, I started feeling sorry The project was a collaboration set up they were confident about their cause. for the guy (Gilbert) and one day I bought between the History and Sociology "Listen, I've been walking by that sight one of those fat little Buddhas from a five departments. When people take a History everyday and all I see is a couple of holes and. and dime on Fordham Road and I buried it in or Sociology/Anthropology class they have a blue tarp," one of the students said. "I the ground. When he dug it up his face lit up the option of writing a 20-page paper or took it upon myself to help them out so I and then he pocketed the thing for his own helping out with the archaeological site. blew it open. And ya know what, there was collection. He's been acting real paranoid Gilbert defended himself and mentioned that nothing there!" ever since." most students did indeed choose the project Coordinators of the project, Dr. Wines Physical Plant estimates the crater left over the paper. According to one student in from the history department, and Dr. Gilbert by the explosion to be about 20 feet deep and the program, Louis Devito, FC'89, more from the Sociology and Anthropology 25 feet wide. Dr. Cammarosano, executive people chose the project because it was easier department, were bewildered and upset when vice president, recommended filling the than the paper. they heard the news. crater with a cement foundation that could "Time, time, time is like sand floating be used for a new dorm. Dr. Joseph

Time, time, time is like Duane New Site for Dorm sand floating across the Alumni House to be New Library desert only to be found By BRENDA STARR the estimates of the new dorm rooms. Sullivan as back-up," Reedy said. At a meeting held on March 21 at Duane "They're moderately priced at $10,000 a At the conclusion of the meeting some in a somber stream. Library, Dr. Joseph Cammarosano, semester, with the room with the stained- students were concerned with executive vice president, explained to glass window offered at the slightly higher Cammarosano's statement that the new itudents and faculty that Duane would be rate of $20,000 because of its unique library and dorm would be completed by the dosed down at the end of this semester and quality," he said. fall semester. Cammarosano, in a comforting urned into a dormitory. Reedy stated that Alumni House will be tone, said, "The University would never go "Hey, let's face it," he said. "I'd rather Cammarosano stated that Alumni a more than adequate substitute and is large back on its word, when we say the job is dig that pit than stay up all night typing a 20- House is the targeted location for the new enough to hold the campus' vast selection of going to be completed, it gets completed." pager on chips and fossil formations. Don't library. "Alumni is the quintessential books. "Books are currently being recorded Peterson, with a half-crazed look in her kid yourself." location for a new library," Cammarosano on CD's with Father O'Hare singing the eyes, then exclaimed, "Anybody who doesn't Other students disagreed. said, "it's so close to Metro-North, students lyrics and Dr. Cammarosano and Dean like it can lump it, or move into Village D." "I enjoyed the project, I wanted to find will easily be distracted." that old Fordham," said Mary Howard, Also present at the meeting were Rev. FC'88. "At first there were positive signs. Gerard Reedy, S.J., dean of Fordham We discovered what seemed like an old tea College, and Lisa Peterson, assistant dean of kettle but when we brushed away some dirt Residential Life. Peterson, when asked what we saw the label, 'Lampstons, 50th and 6th.' she thought about turning Duane into a It's discouraging." dormitory, stated, "I think it's a marvelous While decisons are being made on what idea! We need to house as many students as to do with the site, Physical Plant is busy possible; books are not a necessity." cleaning up the mess. Cammarosano stated that when the "I don't mind this sort of work," said dorm is completed it will be as comfortable as Joe Monaco, one of the Physical Plant a five-star hotel-resort. "With Duane we are workers assigned to the clean-up. "We're rying to make students feel as if they're on gonna rent some dozers and fill this thing. an extended vacation and not at college. The This is man's work, not like planting pretty new dorm will contain hot tubs in every flower bulbs in front of Spellman Hall." room, fully-stocked bars, and if the budget Students are taking the disaster in stride will allow it, a large mud bath will be placed but a petitionis currently circulating for a in the student lounge for those who are reimbursement from Residential Life due to concerned with skin revitalization." the ugly conditions outside the dorms. When Cammarosano, when asked by Bill Lisa Peterson, assistant dean for Residential Russell, FC'91, how students could possibly Life, was questioned about what her office afford such lavish accomodations, grinned was planning to do about the situation, she rom ear to ear. "Why my boy," he said, replied "What do they think this place is, 'here at Fordham we're not money-hungry, Club Med? We're a dynamite university (no all students will be given the discount rate." pun intended, of course). Things change and Cammarosano then proceeded to quote this is one of them.'' 2/Thursday, April 1, 1988/THE RAM Alumni Residents Fight Back Students to Arm Selves Off the

By CY COPATH Approximately 100 residents of Alumni Cuff Court South have been "armed and ready" to combat snipers on Webster Avenue since Mon- day, according to director of security, Thomas Courtney. Dr. Joseph Cammarosano, executive vice By BABBS BLABS president, was injured accidentally while riding the newly operating elevators, when a gun Greek siren Diva Eva is reportedly recor- backfired. Cammarosano was hit in the shoulder ding a new record with the Bobsey Twins, Ray by a student he described dressed in "army and Alex (known to most as wierd AT). The three camouflage and lots of war paint. He looked like reportedly met last night in New York's Bowery Rambo. I was scared." Club One, which, as you know is the latest and The student, yet to be identified, is one of lottest club noir of the Big Apple. For those of the many freshmen who are "sick and tired of you who don't know about Diva Eva - she sang being sitting ducks. We are going to fight back Yossou!! Efaristo!!, the jazzy tune that was on for a change!" one Ram-bo exclaimed. the top forty charts for 38'/4 weeks several years Lisa Peterson, assistant dean of students for r ago. Before that her hit with Despina Spithoganis Residential Life, stated, "I am really proud of -:w "/ Like Ouzo" was a hit for six weeks. The these kids. They were faced with a problem and Greek Siren, who as her nomine de chanteuse they've learned how to deal with it. They have indicates, is from Athens, Greece where she really made that freshman adjustment." aegan to sing in the streets for ten drachmas a According to Courtney, no attempt has been song. Diva Eva first worked with the pseudo made to disarm the students. "Security just sunk avantguardists The Bobsey Twins last sum- doesn't want to handle 100 gun crazed teenagers. mer in the Amnesty International Goodwill to all I'm sure it is just a phase they will grow out of.'' of mankind conceit in Cannes. Diva Eva's back- up singer Toula (of the Doufekias sisters) will Cammarosano explained that he was not at to snoot strsi^rit. to Fordham," he stated. je providing back-up vocals. Toula's last album all upset by the incident. "Sure my shoulder The student snipers have not hit any pass- Neither Peterson nor Cammarosano are wor- which featured the single "/ Still Don't Know hurts, but to tell you the truth, I'm pleased that ing cars yet because they can't see outside their ried about possible fire. "Boys will be boys," What I'm Looking For'' achieved platinum status I could play such an active role in the combat. windows since their shades are drawn. Peterson expressed. last week when it was released in third world I taught the lad who shot me the correct way to One student sniper was thrilled to be a part Cammarosano added, "I'm sure the whole countries. Kalahari bushmen are reportedly buy- use a gun.More importantly, I showed him how of the mini-battle. "It's kind of like G.I. Joe goes incident will blow over one way or another." ing up many of Toula's records and dancing to them Latest news is that Diane Byrne (David Byrne's third cousin) is working on a film pro- tect with Mary O'Neill and Amy Sivco called Dogs of War. A remake of the original Indian Gravesite ChristopherWalkenfilm? "No!" Amy andMary staunchly defend their work. What's it all about? "It's about rabid dogs attacking their owners. No, I wouldn't call it a family type of movie. We're working out a deal with the Fordham Food Under Construction service to allow us to use some of the strays on Southern Boulevard. They're pretty reluctant about it because they are worried about losing By FRANK FOOTER the Tuesday chili burger special" the napoleanes- Earlier this semester the Administration que Diane Byrne reported "I said, what about announced that their plans to expand the the stray cats? And they said I might have a McGinley Center has been delayed due to point." lack of sufficient funds. Yet late Tuesday Others working on the film project are John night, an anguished Dr. Joseph Roussey who is presently taking close up Cammarosano, executive vice-president, photographs of penguins mating in the south pole. broke down to a group of eager Ram "Johnny is going to be essential for the project reporters and poured his heart out, exposing because of his close up angle technique." said the true nature of the expansion setback. Mary who also reported that Jane Evancie and Cammarosano said that the initial Tom Deutsch will be working on the project... explanation for the delayed plans was a You will all remember that other Deutsch film fabrication. He used the "we need more project with Joe Cuozzo narrating the documen- money" excuse because he thought no one tary - Pistol Pete; Idol or Hero? ... Joe Cuozzo would question his motive. has been reportedly in the Fall Out Shelter "Geez, I don't know...I don't know, I Studios recording a rap album with Tom tried," Cammarosano said. Deutsch.' 'We're gonna be the firstChristia n rap The results of many closed investigations group," says Couzzo. conclude that the McGinley Center rest on an Laura Filice and Maryellen Milon are work- old Indian burial ground-possibly on top of ing on a novel entitled Deadlines at The Ram an ancient Iroquois tribe. He claimed he held and Some of Life's Other Brutal Realities. Aman- back the truth because it would be shocking da Cucchiarella is presently writing the authoriz- to the entire community. ed story of The Ram which is presently entitled "What would my wife think?" Deadlines arid Other Frustrations. A movie ver- Cammarosano said. sion of the book is being discussed with producer Cammarosano faced other problems in Allison Zisko who has just finished a the expansion project. The construction documadrama on preserving your dead pets.... company contracted to the job, Dawn Conry Michael O'Neill, and Henry Cammarosano and Sons, was angered over Herbermann have just finished the authorized the investigation results. In response, the biography of Joe Cuozzo / Liked Pistol Pete. company is demanding the full payment as They are presently working on the unauthorized agreed to in the contract. biography of Aleksandrs Rozenns called He was "I'm sick of these jobs my old man strange. Diedre Mastrangelo is reportedly in keeps pushin' on me," Billy Cammarosano, charge of promoting the book.'' He was definite- one of the workers, said. "They're all ly out of the ordinary," the trio agreed at a lemons." private book signing party at The Night Shift, a According to the executive vice- French cuisine restaurant which opened recent- president, the expansion was supposed to ly high atop the Chrysler building. reach out 40 feet beyond the building. These That's about all folks ... now that you know plans are officially terminated, he said, all that there is to know about the arts industry because he is afraid of disturbing the Indian ... you can go on living your lives in peace. site. THE RAM/Thursday, April 1,1988/3 Kern Goes for the Gold

By RED SMITH Woodward explained between sobs and In a dramatic move that could have dabbing her eyes with her Globetrotter lasting effects on the state of American wristbands. Women's basketball for years to come, the So now that the rest of the country has United States Olympic Committee (USOC) discovered the Bronx's hidden treasure, announced yesterday that Lady Ram where exactly does the state of the Lady basketball each Lou Kern was picked to coach Rams basketball stand? Not to worry. While the 1988 Women's Olympic basketball team losing a coach of such magnitude would headed for Seoul, Korea in September. cripple other teams, the Lady Rams are Kern replaces Tennessee University's optimistic about the Athletic Department's head coach Pat Summit who learned she was choice for taking over the reins of this now pregnant early last week. famous basketball franchise. Kern could not be reached for comment J;«ilio Diaz, Assistant AD and holder of but was described as "elated, walking on air, the moniker that will adorn the new athletic and on cloud nine," by the usually reserved complex and convocation center now in the Joe Pagnotta, Fordham's own Sports works, has been named the Lady Rams' third Information Director. coach in the past four years. Diaz, riding a The USOC cited Kern's record since wave of enthusiasm from his peers in the taking over the head coaching position at sporting world, could be seen doing Fordham as one of the main reasons that somersaults on Eddy's and wildly ringing the propelled him ahead of the other top victory bell just outside his office in front of candidates when the opening was the Gym. After dancing himself into a created.While USOC officials deny the frenzy, a restrained Diaz was quoted as rumor, it is believed that former Old saying, Dominion standout and one time "I'm obviously thrilled to death. But professional basketball player Nancy you don't just waltz in and replace a coach of Lieberman was also considered for the job. Kern's stature. I'm sure there will be a lot of Kern is also believed to have been chosen Lou Kern prepares for a tough Oympic task second guessing, but I think I can do a good ahead of Harlem Globetrotter Lynette job." Woodward who according to sources So, as Kern prepares his new team for desperately wanted the job. However, "He deserves the job. I mean, his record the ultimate competition amateur sports can Woodward holds no resentment toward Kern offer (in between shooting Olympic ads for "He deserves the job. I mean, his record speaks for itself. Because of Lou, we're Budweiser and Kodak), for the first time in a speakes for itself. Because of Lou, we're long while things are looking up for Kern and assured of bringing home the gold," assured of bringing home the gold," Lady Rams basketball.

DOUG THE OLYMPIAN football continued from page 4

By JIM NASIUM played well, and I am deserving of a spot on the His Georgetown Hoyas having been Olympic squad." Bantum has been invited to the Olympic eliminated from the NCAA Tournament, coach "Oh, Golly! The Rams are going Trials, where sources close to Thompson say John Thompson is now able to focus his atten- Division I. I can't wait to see them play, trying out for a spot is all but a formality. tion on a new task: coaching the 1988 Summer hoss." "While Lionel (Simmons) has attracted Olympics basketball team. And someone who has The step up to Division I will require much of the attention of MAAC and eastern caught the eye of the legendary mentor as a some construction at Rose Hill, however. coaches," the source said, "John (Thompson) potential member of that Olympic squad is For- Plans are being made for the destruction of has been impressed with Doug's play for three dham's Doug Bantum. Jack Coffey field and the Rose Hill Gym. years now. It was, he once said privately, one of Thompson was in New York Monday, These facilities will be replaced by the Julio his biggest recruiting mistakes." speaking to prospective players at Manhattan's Diaz Athletic and Convocation Center, Grand Hyatt Hotel. Bantum was one of several A soft spoken native of Roosevelt, New which has already been affectionately players to speak with Thompson, among them York, Bantum has many of the little things in nicknamed "The Nick and Glueck Dome." LaSalle's Lionel Simmons, UConn's Cliff Robin- pushing Fordham to a return to NTT play this Seating capacity of the new facility which son, St. John's Shelton Jones and Michael Porter, season under first year coach Nick Macarchuk. will be financed by a 15 percent tuition hike, Syracuse's Sherman Douglas, Providence's Bantum did not score many points, but when he will be 56,001. was afforded the opportunity, his fluid moves to Delray Brooks, and Pittsburgh's Jerome Lane. The players are also very excited about Though characteristically evasive in his the hoop and soft hands gave the Rams a big boost. Though imposing at almost 200 pounds, the move. answers, Thompson's remarks indicated that "Unbelievable. I never dreamed in my Bantum may be a lock for the team - or at least the solidly put together forward was immune to any sort of foul trouble. wildest dreams that we'd be Division I. It's the best candidate of those interviewed Monday. all happened so fast," junior co-captain "Although I cannot comment fully on the ' 'Doug did so many things right for us this Mike Vitale stated. nature of these interviews," the bespectacled year," Macarchuk, just back from recruiting in "I can't wait to play the top teams in the giant said, "I will say that I was impressed with the Houston area, said. "Am I surprised at the nation," sophomore Rick Hollawell said. Doug Bantum. He appears to be a fine young Olympic invitation? I'd have to say no." "Maybe I can be a real All-American." man, and the videotapes of his play indicate he Other MAAC coaches concur with Macar- "It's good," garrulous junior offensive is a strong candidate for the team." chuk's (and Thompson's) assessment. captain Rodney Knight noted. Thompson's comments caused a stir among ' 'Bantum was a driving force,'' Army coach Indeed, excitement is running high all the media, many of whom had never heard of Les Wothke said. "He killed us in three games over the Fordham campus. the 6'7" power forward who plays in relative this year." "This is a great day for Fordham obscurity at Fordham. But, further questions Bantum's teammates and friends were all athletics since I've been here, I've stressed about the young man were met with "no com- overjoyed at the prospect of Bantum represen- new beginnings, and this is certainly a new ment" from Thompson. ting the red, white, and blue in Seoul this beginning for the football program," Frank Bantum was as much at ease as the crowd summer. McLaughlin concluded. was in a frenzy. "Aw, Fresh, he just has it together," Fred "This is a great thing. After all, it ' 'I can't say that I didn't expect Coach T to Quartlebaum said. "We have known all along wouldn't be a new year without a new like my rap," Bantum, known to his Fordham what kind of player he is. It has taken some others building," Executive VP Joseph teammates as "Douggie Fresh" said. "I have Future Olympian Doug Bantum a little longer to find out." Cammarosano added. 4/Thursday, April 1, 1988/THE RAM Football Goes Division I

By ERIC SLOTH ISiliP It's finally coming to pass. Fordham University and specifically its Athletic Department announced Wednesday its decision to move the football program to Division One status. The move comes as a surprise to the Fordham athletic program and its community. "We are very pleased about the move. It's what we want. Last year, we hoped it would happen, but now its become a reality," Athletic Director Frank McLaughlinsaid. The possibility of moving the program to Division I-AA status has been in the ;8# talking for some time. With the Colonial Conference only a few years old, McLaughlin pushed hard for the upgrade. However, the Colonial League had no desire to expand past its six school limit. But the Rams found another path to take. Fordham, having increased its athletic revenue in the past few years due to tuition increases, alumni support, and the money made by other sports such as soccer, decided to make the jump without having a specific conference affiliation. "We realize it's a chance, but it's one we feel we can make. Our former schedule for this year included Davidson(a Division I-AA school), so we decided to go the whole nine yards. The difference is not that great,"McLaughlin explained. The football coaching staff was fully in record setting losers. Other schools Fordham is Home games for the 1988 season will be contract with ABC television to broadcast support of the move. trying to schedule include Rutgers at the played at Baker Field, Columbia University's regional coverage of the Rams. In a television "I played big time college football at Meadowlands, Cornell, the University of facility. interview with veteran ABC commentator Villanova," head coach Larry Glueck said, " Texas,Oklahoma, Notre Dame, USC, Ohio Furthermore, McLaughlin and Assistant Keith Jackson about the move, he said, State, and the University of Miami. continued on page 3 and when Frank brought the suggestion AD Gene Doris have signed a limited down to me, I was shocked. He explained everything he wanted out of me and my staff and I knew we could do it. I feel we're ready for the challenge." Fordham's schedule next year has not been completely confirmed, but the opening games have the Rams opening up right in the Big Apple against the Columbia Lions, those Jacko to Providence

By MIKE LOUPICKCA scares me though to think that I have to Fordham assistant basketball coach Jack recruit against him," Nick Macarchuk stated. Armstrong is headed for the big time. After Armstrong is the second coach to leave four years as an assistant coach of the Rams, Fordham for a Rhode Island job (Penders Armstrong is headed to the state of Rhode m was the first). Strangely enough Brown Island where he will assume the position of University, also in Rhode Island, is also head coach of the Providence College Friars. rumored to be shopping for a top assistant or Providence has just recently announced the mill possibly even a new head coach. Among the resignation of coach Gordon Chiesa did iriiii: names that have been mentioned are Ram not hint as who his succesor might be first year assistant Tim O'Toole. Many until the surprising press conference Fordham females will no doubt be Thursday. Apparently Kansas coach Larry heartbroken by this recent rumor but the Brown had wanted the job but withdrew his Fordham-Rhode Island connection cannot be application upon learning Armstrong was in denied. the race. Providence Athletic Director John Jacko has been playing or coaching Marinatto cited his desire to have another basketball in New York City for almost ten New Yorker to fill the positon. years now. Pitino, who now coaches the "We had Rick Pitino, a real city guy, Knicks, feels this should be a big advantage here for a year and he took us to the final to him." four. Tom Penders left Fordham and the "No doubt his streetwise rap and Bronx for URI and now he's go them in the playground tactics will bring in the big sweet sixteen. When Pitino left we gave the games. It should be enough for him to job to this hick Chiesa and became the continue the winning tradition I started laughing stock of the conference. It's there," Pitino said. obvious only city boys like Jacko can win in Armstrong was later reached for this state." He commented. comment in a more quiet atmosphere, Penn Although the terms of the contract were Station, undisclosed it is believed he signed a three Jack Armstrong following Tom Penders "I have loved my years at Fordham but year deal worth about $100,000 annually. he could blurt out was "the Big East...THE of a very poor team but most people believe this an offer I just couldn't refuse. Hopefully Armstrong was eventually reached for BIG EAST!" he should not have any problem turning their the experience I got here will help me coach comment in the back room of Clarke's bar. The Fordham community is distraught program around once again. the Friars back into Big East contention," he Soaked in champagne and smiling from ear over their loss but clearly wishes Jacko well in "I'm happy for Jack. I think he will be a said. to ear amidst chants of "Jacko, Jacko," all his new job. He will be taking over the reigns winner within two years at Providence. It