Delicate Affections
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DDDDeeeelllliiiiccccaaaatttteeee AAffffffffeeeeccccttttiiiioooonnnnssss by Adrian Saldanha Let me take you away, for a moment, to a place far from here. A lush green forest meadow grows with patches of exquisite wildflowers blossoming everywhere — a veritable paradise on earth. In the middle of it all is a tiny, crystal clear pond that reflects the light that falls on it. The pond isn't very deep, and you can see the assortment of pebbles at the bottom of it. From that pond stems a wandering stream that ventures further into the wilderness. The grass beneath your feet is thick and a very healthy shade of green. The trees are tall and mighty, a worthy inspiration with their vast grandeur, and between some of the high branches, great rays of sunlight manage to shine through into the forest and create a nearly holy and spiritual glow. The very sight of it is so beautiful and soothing; it makes you wonder how some divine force in the universe could not exist. In the morning, you and I are together. The songbirds sing their tunes melodically, as the world gently wakes up. Despite its great solace, however, you and I are too restless. We quickly amuse ourselves by trying to climb the trees, toss pebbles into the pond, and chase one another throughout the wilderness. We haven't a care in the world, and I find myself unable to admire the calmness of meadow, for I am too busy admiring your beauty and your grace, as you're basked in that gentle morning light. My heart races and skips because I know I am in love, though I dare not say a word, for I know not how you feel yourself. Like the youthful spirits we are, we give chase to each other once more. You don't see it coming, but you trip on an awkward root that stuck out from one of the trees. I quickly move to try and catch you, trying to be the gallant saviour, but being clumsy myself, I end up falling down with you. We laugh heartily at the situation we got ourselves into, but my eyes suddenly and unexpectedly lock with yours, as we lay there together. I realize you're still in my arms from when I tried to save you. I briefly examine your facial features, such as your rosy cheeks and your delicate lips, but I find myself truly drawn in by your eyes. They reflect the sweetness and innocence of your personality. I gaze into them, and I feel as though I'm gazing into your soul. I see your compassion, your kindness, your gentle nature, but, most of all, I see your life and exuberance. My heart pounds rapidly, and my throat closes up nervously. However, overcoming my fears, I shyly confess my true feelings for you. To my surprise, you begin to blush and share your own feelings towards me, feelings that I would never dare dream for you to have for me. We are both blushing deeply, but our joy is peaked. Our lips innocently meet; it's our first kiss. You love me, and I love you, and nothing else matters in the world. In the afternoon, we lie together side by side. The tree behind us props up our backs, and you are in my arms, while your head rests on my chest. We calmly look onward at the scene nature has unravelled for us. Many forest critters are scattering about, foraging for food, and playing games, not so unlike how we were enjoying ourselves in the morn. Squirrels, chipmunks, all sorts of birds, and other forest dwelling rodents come out to play. We admire them contentedly as I gently squeeze your hand out of affection. We cuddle up to one another as we continue to observe the animals playing amongst the colourful falling leaves. One of the chipmunks strays from the others and shyly makes its way towards us. You present an outstretched hand, and miraculously, it jumps onto your hand, trusting you Soundings 2006 | 8 completely. You give it a nut that you had kept in your pocket and pet it gently as it graciously accepts your offer. It jumps off your hand and quickly runs back towards the other animals to play. You look up at me with a grin on your face, and I return it. However, despite the beauty of nature around us, I am still drawn in entirely by you. We lean towards each other, and more naturally than the first time, we kiss — our second kiss. You sigh happily and wrap your arms around me as I hold you closer than before. We are together. What more could matter? In the evening, the forest is asleep, but not you and I. The bright moon shines down through the trees, and the pond sparkles with its glow. Because of the light provided by the moon and the stars, it's not too dark, and everything seems to be tinted a beautiful shade of silver. Though we should be asleep, we dance together throughout the night. We know no music is really playing, but it doesn't matter. We embrace as we sway back and forth, from side to side, to that music. It may not have been music, but whatever it was, we could not hold ourselves back. Your arms are around my neck and mine around your waist. We gaze fondly into each other's eyes as we dance on. I'm still captivated by them, the same way I was when we fell in the morning. A part of me wants to cry for how happy I am to be with you like this. We whisper our love to each other, and we continue to waltz in the moonlight. I never want to be parted from you, and you never want to be parted from me. We promise each other, that no matter what happens, we will not leave each other and that we'd always be together. We lean into each other and kiss more boldly and deeply than ever before. It's our third kiss, and I secretly pray that the moment never ends. As you play with my hair, I gently caress your back. We stay that way for what seems like an eternity. If my life had led up to anything at all, it was this day. I can never be happier because I know that you'd never leave me, and you know that I'd never leave you, no matter what happened. Yet the tragedy of the matter does seep in eventually. As I awaken from my reverie, I become forced to face the reality of the situation. The tears begin to flow as I realize that you aren't there. You promised you'd never leave, but I know it was a promise you simply couldn't make in the first place. I miss your love, your sweetness, your affection, but never will I get the chance to feel it again. However, it's the reason that I'll never be able to feel it again that hurts most of all. The truth of the matter is that you simply don't exist. I imagined you, just as I imagined the forest meadow we were in. Even if I was to find a similar meadow one day, it would make no difference, for you see, it was your presence that made the place beautiful. Without you, it's just an empty lonely meadow, and it pains me to know that I'm alone. I had lost something I never really had or had the opportunity to feel. You don't exist and you never will, and I'll never get the chance to be treated with that delicate affection. Adrian Saldanha is a graduate of International Baccalaureate: Science and will be studying Classics: Greco Roman Culture at Concordia University this autumn. He lived in Taiwan and Paris for two years. Soundings 2006 | 9 TTTTTThhhhhheeeeee SSSSSShhhhhhiiiiiiffffffttttttiiiiiinnnnnngggggg PPPPPPrrrrrreeeeeesssssseeeeeennnnnntttttt by Alexis Romero The day was like any other day — exceptional. They were there, together. Her name was Hope, just like what he would see in her eyes before everything happened. He always looked into her eyes. He still did, but now he looked into her eyes as if trying to find in them something he had lost. His strange behaviour was making her quite uncomfortable. His eyes seemed to have lost all expectations for the present or for the future. His memories of the past seemed to be his only link to the reality that was now without hope. "Are you alright?" she asked. "You look as if you are confused." "No, there is nothing wrong with me," he replied calmly and coldly. "Come on, you can tell me everything; you know that, don't you?" "Yeah, I know. I can tell anything to Hope without even worrying about it or having second thoughts about it." "Do you have second thoughts now? Are you worried now?" He didn't even bother to answer that unknown voice. He had been feeling the same feeling before he met her; it was some kind of sweet insanity. He felt the same hollowness, as if she was an echo from his past, as if she was forever gone. It was the same emptiness that he had felt when it happened, the same feeling that was eating him from the inside out. She had noticed that he had changed, but she didn't know why he was like that. He was a shadow of his past.