Dumb Crooks Tech~No
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DUMB CROOKS TECH~NO Even more proof that crime doesn't pay. For every new electronic gadget that flies off the shelves, a dozen more sit there and gather dust. Here are some techno-flops. OVE AT FIRST SLICE "Police in New Castle County, Delaware, say three young INIDISCS Lmen ordered two pepperoni pizzas from Domino's Pizza, and To compete with the compact disc in 1992, Sony intro· when the 18-year-old delivery woman arrived they stole the pizzas Mduced the MiniDisc: a three-inch CD housed in a clear (along with $20). A few minutes later one of them called the plastic case. It combined the sound quality of a CD with the com woman to ask her out on a date. 'He said, "I'm sorry I robbed you. pactness and portability of a cassette. Despite Sony's huge market· You're pretty,"' said police chief David McAllister. She politely ing push on MTV, American consumers didn't bite-the MiniDisc declined his offer, then turned his cell phone number over to the was perceived as just a miniature CD. Minis also cost $5 more cops, who charged him with second-degree robbery. 'I suppose he than COs, and the new player they required cost more than $500. hopes she doesn't believe in first impressions,' said McAllister." Sony slowly discontinued prerecorded MiniDiscs in the United -CNN States, but blank ones are still a popular format for musicians recording demo tapes. PAINTING HIMSELF INTO A CORNER "In the category of dumbest criminals, consider the fugitive who HIWAYHI-FI took the job painting the Jacksonville Beach Police Department's In 1955 Peter Goldmark of CBS Research (part of Columbia headquarters in March. While wanted for a probation violation in Records) came up with a novel way for his company to sell more South Carolina, the 25-year-old Jacksonville man showed up to records: install record players in cars. One obvious problem was paint both the outside and inside of headquarters. A background how to keep the needle on the record while a car rides along. CBS check landed him a little farther inside than he'd intended: solved that with a spring-loaded tonearm. Goldmark also devised a behind bars." disc that had very thin grooves very close together, and played at -Jacksonville.com (Florida) 16 3-1 rpm. It was as small as a 45 rpm record, but played as much music as an LP. The disc was also twice as thick and heavy as a WHERE'S THE "EASY" BUTTON? regular record, which helped keep it from bouncing off the turntable. The whole thing was housed in a small, enclosed cabi· "Two car thieves failed to make their getaway in a car they had net mounted under the dash. Columbia talked Chrysler into mak· just stolen because they couldn't figure out how to use its manual ing the "Hiway Hi-Fi" an option on all new 1956 models, and transmission. The teenagers, armed with a gun, approached a man produced 42 "Hiway" records (mostly classical and Broadway cast outside a pizza restaurant in Marietta, Georgia. They proceeded to albums). But consumers were never convinced that the records steal his wallet and the keys to his Honda Accord, got into the car would play without skipping. Few buyers selected the Hiway Hi-Pi but couldn't make it start because it had a stick shift, according to option, so Chrysler abandoned the concept after just one year. a restaurant employee. 'The kid was just sitting in the car trying to start it but he had no idea what to do. The only thing he had DIGITAL COMPACT CASSETTES going was the radio.' Restaurant employees called the police, who In 1992 Philips and Matsushita co-developed and introduced arrived and arrested the teenagers." Digital Compact Cassettes. The new tapes looked exactly like -Atlanta Journal-Constitution The study of the Moon is called selenology, after the Greek goddess of the Moo~.' Selene. Q: How do you say Merry Christmas in Japanese? A: Merii Kurisumasu. \ r-------------------•'•13so'~--.--------------,Q\ regular cassette tapes, but the sound quality was far superior-as clear and crisp as a compact disc. Another selling point: DCC THE "SUE ME, SUE YOU players could play regular, older cassettes, so consumers wouldn't have to replace their music collections. The digital cassettes went nearly completely unnoticed in the United States, where BLUES," PART II cassette tapes were already considered clunky and obsolete. The format was extremely popular in the Netherlands, but that wasn't Here's Part II of the story of George Harrison's battle over who owned the enough to sustain the product. Philips and Matsushita discontin legal rights to his song, "My Sweet Lord." (Part I is on page 140.) ued the DCC in 1996. Y SWEET LAWSUIT DIVX ~ost o~ the trial was s~ent on testimony from musicolo In November 1998, Circuit City introduced this new DVD Mgists (htred by both Bnght Tunes and Harrison) who rental concept. DIVX discs looked like and used the same tech broke down and analyzed the basic musical elements of the two nology as DVDs, except that the movies erased themselves 48 songs, "He's So Fine" and "My Sweet Lord." According to Bright hours after they were first viewed. Customers bought a disc Tunes' experts, "He's So Fine" used two musical motifs. Motif A is (available only at Circuit City) for about $5 and threw it away the notes G-E-D repeated four times. Motif B repeats the notes G after they watched it. But customers weren't interested in buying A-C-A-C four times, with an extra "grace note" the fourth time. special DIVX players (also available only at Circuit City) for "My Sweet Lord," they further argued, used the same Motif A the $300. And Circuit City was heavily criticized for the potential same four times, then Motif B three times instead of four. In place environmental impact of landfills full of useless, erased discs. of the fourth repetition, "My Sweet Lord" used a passage of the Circuit City discontinued DIVX in June 1999, only seven same length with the same grace note in the same place. Each months after the launch, destroyed all unsold movies, and gave motif is fairly common, they said, but for both songs to use the two $100 refunds on DIVX players. motifs together and for the same number of times was no accident. AUDREY HEAR YE The Internet went mainstream in the late 1990s. But what if you In August 1976, U.S. District Court judge Richard Owen deliv didn't have a computer or didn't know how to use one? For those ered his verdict. "It's perfectly obvious," said Owen. "The two people, 3Com (a computer-modem manufacturer) came up with songs are virtually identical." Owen went on to say, however, an "Internet appliance" called the Audrey. Even though it could that he didn't think Harrison intentionally stole "He's So Fine." only browse the Web and receive e-mail, technology experts He noted that there are only eight notes in the scale, and that believed Internet appliances would be the next big thing in com "accidents do happen." Though Harrison acknowledged being puters-a way for the computer illiterate to communicate on the familiar with "He's So Fine" (it was a massive hit), Owen said Internet. The Audrey hit stores in October 2000 for $499, which, that ':hile Harrison didn't steal the song, he did infringe on the at the time, was not much cheaper (or easier to use) than a basic, copynght. The difference: Harrison's theft was unintentional or "subconscious." fully functional home computer. 3Com discontinued the Audrey a few months later, and in the wake of its failure, Gateway, Compaq, Nevertheless, Judge Owen ruled that a copyright had still been Virgin, Honeywell, AOL, and other companies quickly abandoned vio~ated, a decision upheld on appeaf with the court noting that plans to develop their own Internet appliances. Umted States copyright law does not require the showing of intent to infringe. So order a double! A single serving of espresso has less caffeine than a cup of coffee. 2nd-highest album sales in the U.S. after the Beatles (106 million): Garth Brooks (92 mil'i n). I 0.