ELECTRONICALLY REPRINTED FROM MARCH 20, 2017

rence. Since turning forty, I’d started to PERSONAL suffer from a heightened sense of claus- trophobia. A few ago, I was stuck for an in an elevator with a man OUT who weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds and his two grocery carts crammed with bags of Tostitos and bot- Confessions of a geek. tles of Canada Dry, an experience both BY GARY SHTEYNGART frightening and lonely. The elevator had simply given up. What if a subway train also refused to move? I began walking seventy blocks at a time or splurging on taxis. But on this I had taken the N train. Somewhere between Forty- ninth Street and Forty- Street, a signal failed and we ground to a halt. For forty , we stood still. An old man yelled at the conductor at full vol- ume in English and Spanish. Time and began to collapse around me. The orange seats began to march toward each other. I was no longer breathing with any regularity. This is not going to end well. None of this will end well. We will never leave here. We will always be underground. This, right here, is the rest of my life. I walked over to the conduc- tor’s cabin. He was calmly explain- ing to the incensed passenger the scope of his duties as an M.T.A. employee. “Sir,” I said to him, “I feel like I’m dying.” “City Hall, City Hall, we got a sick passenger,” he said into the radio. “I re- peat, a sick passenger. Can you send a rescue train?” A rescue train. My whole life I have been waiting for one. Sensing the ex- citement of someone suffering more than they were, the other passengers In October, my feelings of dread spiked, so I decided to buy a . moved to my end of the car to offer advice, crowding in on me and mak- t the start of 2016, I had a bad at a time—Jabruarch—or segmenting ing me panic all the more. One man feeling. Time was not working into Gregorian- city-states. was particularly insistent. “I’m a retired right.A Some were as snappy as Feb. Rue. Airy. Something was wrong firefighter,” he said. “I’ve been doing days, others were as elastic as , with the world. this twenty years, folks. Seen it all. This and the months felt as if they were ei- One day in February, I took a ride man here is hyperventilating. That’s ther bleeding into one another three on the subway. This was a rare occur- what he’s doing. Twenty years a fire­ fighter, now retired.” watch was a Junghans, from Germany, cate just how “worldly” I was, and a “I’m going to take an Ativan now,” derived from a design by the Bauhaus- subsequent girlfriend had it repaired I said, fishing a pill out of my breast influenced Swiss architect, artist, and after we had broken up, a gesture of pocket. industrial designer Max Bill. I had bought unusual kindness. “Do not do that,” the retired fire­ it at the MOMA shop for what in my early, But by this time I thought of myself fighter said. “It will only make you hy- innocent watch days seemed like the as- as a writer, and, for a writer, the money perventilate more. Trust me, I know tronomical price of a thousand dollars. you make can be traded in for your cre- what I’m doing.” Its no-frills, form-follows-function shape ative independence, hence one is per- A middle-aged woman approached evoked civility in a time of chaos, a tick- manently building a rainy-day fund. me. “You have to imagine,” she said to ing intelligence in the face of a new in- I have always tried to keep on hand me, in a Polish accent, “that eventually humanity. The train slowly moved again. enough cash to cover at least two years the train will move. That eventually we The Polish woman smiled at me. We of expenses in case the public stops being will come out of the tunnel.” shuddered into Square and I was, interested in my work, while plowing Shamed into not taking the Ativan for a few moments in time, safe. the rest into low-cost index funds. Thrift by the retired firefighter, I looked down was comforting; material goods unin- at my wrist. I was wearing a new watch, very watch geek has an origin teresting, bordering on gauche. the first I had ever story. During childhood, my first And yet on April 12, 2016, I walked owned. A brief primer: Since the late Ebest friend was a watch, a H-108 out of the Tourneau TimeMachine nineteen-seventies, most have 12-Melody-Alarm. True to its name, store, on Madison Avenue and Fifty-­ used a , which is bat- the digital watch played twelve melo- seventh Street, with a receipt for tery-powered and extremely accurate. dies, including “Santa Lucia,” “Happy $4,137.25 and a new Nomos Minima- Mechanical watches, by contrast, are Birthday,” “The Wedding March,” “Jin- tik Champagner on my wrist, the sales powered either by hand-winding or, in gle Bells” (played only in the bathroom clerks bidding me farewell with a the case of an , by the of my Hebrew school, when no other cheerful cry of “Congratulations!” motion of the wearer’s wrist, which is Jewish boys were ), and even a By the standards of luxury watches, converted into energy by means of a song from my native Russia, “Kalinka” the amount I spent was small indeed rotor. Mechanical watches are far less (roughly, “Red Little Berry”), which I (an entry-level Rolex is about six thou- accurate than quartz watches, but often listened to every hour on the hour to sand dollars), but by my own standards far more expensive, because their bear- make myself feel less homesick and I had just thrown away a small chunk, ings are more intricate. All contempo- scared. I spoke English miserably, but roughly 4.3 writing days, of my inde- rary Rolex watches, for example, are me- the watch had its own language, a com- pendence. And yet I was happy. The chanical. The difference between quartz puterese series of squeaks issuing from watch was the most beautiful object I and old-fashioned mechanical is that a tiny Japanese speaker to form pass- had ever seen. After my panic attack your child’s Winnie the Pooh watch will able melodies. My parents had bought on the subway, the urge for another likely keep better time than a seventy-­ me the watch at a Stern’s department Bauhaus-inspired watch had become six-thousand-dollar Vacheron Constan- store in Queens for $39.99, a signifi- overwhelming, and I compared many tin in rose . A cant part of their net worth at the time, brands. The winner was a relatively quick way to tell the two kinds apart is and it was easily my favorite posses- new called Nomos, based to look at the second hand. On a quartz sion, until it caught the eye of a Hebrew- in the tiny Saxon town of Glashütte. watch, the second hand goose-steps along school bully. My grandmother marched An early- sun glinted off my one tick at a time; on a mechanical watch, into the principal’s office and used the watch as I walked down Lexington Av- it glides imperfectly, but beautifully, hundred or so English words at her enue. I took a photograph of the Min- around the dial and into the . disposal—“Bad boychik take watch!”— imatik on my wrist, as if at any mo- Looking at the smooth, antiquated to lobby for its safe return. ment I would be forced to give it back. mechanical glide of my watch’s second Eventually, I made human friends, There is an entire genre of watch aficio- hand, I felt, if not calm, then ready for and my musical Casio disappeared for nados who take photos of themselves whatever happened next. As the conduc- good. My relationship with watches wearing their timepieces in front of tor’s radio flared on and off with prom- from that point on coincided with the landmarks and post them on watch fo- ises from City Hall (my rescue train never women in my life. In high school, my rums. Would I become one of them? came), as the passengers around me dis- mother bought me a quartz , I ducked into a Pakistani place to eat cussed my fate, I wondered: Can you which pinched my budding wrist hair a quail, but was worried about splash- hold your own world together while the with its loose gold-plated , and ing grease on the vegetable-tanned nat- greater world falls apart? The visible pass- was a bit out of place at my next stop, ural-leather strap. The dial was cham- ing of time, second by second, seemed Oberlin, where comrades were not en- pagne-colored, with an unexpected to provide a kind of escape route, even couraged to have gold-plated things. circle of neon orange around the sec- as my body remained within the metal After college, a girlfriend bought me onds’ subdial. (“These are wild colors shell of the stricken N train. Three sec- a Diesel watch with the image of at but in homeopathic doses,” one of No- onds, inhale. Three , exhale. The least six continents on its dial, to indi- mos’s marketing texts reads.) The Min- imatik’s lugs—the four parts that ex- nomenclature. By this point, it was be- membered all those old Soviet- Rus- tend from the case and connect the coming clear that Donald Trump would sians humming math problems in their watch to either a strap or a bracelet— be the Republican nominee. Hodinkee heads or playing twelve of com- were contoured and feminine, as was became a natural refuge, a place where petitive chess with themselves. In a so- the gently domed , a I could watch videos of celebrity Watch ciety hopeless and cruel, the particular sharp rebuke to the dinner-plate aes- Idiot Savants talking about their obses- and the microscopic were the only things thetic you see on so many watches sion in terms that made me feel less ob- that could still prove reliable. meant for men. Nomos does not mar- sessive myself. The rapper Pras, of Fu- Clymer is preternaturally calm and ket its watches to either gender—their gees fame: “I think about my watches. sumptuously bearded, a self-described relatively small size is meant both for Like when I get up in the morning.” “old soul,” who ticks as reliably as a chro- women and for men with nothing to nometer granted the all-important Ge- prove. The hour markers were pearled, odinkee is the brainchild of Ben neva Seal. The origin story of his watch and milled into the champagne dial to Clymer, a thirty-four--old obsession begins with a grandfather he pick up its hue. The watch seemed Hwatch impresario. In the outside world, called Papa, whose urbane New York to absorb and reflect light in its own no one really understood me, or the tastes he admired as a kid growing up way, storing it under its arched sap- value of tempered blue screws. My in snowy suburban Rochester, and whose phire, making it golden. sister-in-law pointed out, not incor- gift to his grandson of an Omega Speed- I took the watch off and turned it rectly, that I might be suffering a mid- master “inspired me to do the whole over. Some of the more interesting life crisis. But, in Watch World, you thing.” Clymer also started out with watches have an exhibition-case back, enter a room and everybody wants to what has been called “the collecting allowing you to see the inner workings. discuss micro-rotors with you. As Cara gene.” He wore a Volkswagen Beetle The Nomos calibre, assembled almost Barrett, one of the few women writers for his fifth birthday and col- entirely from hundreds of minuscule on Hodinkee’s staff, told me, “Micro-­ lected old Bakelite rotary phones, which parts made in Germany, is a riot of sun- rotors are pretty damn adorable.” he bought at fifty cents apiece. His per- burst decoration, tempered blue screws, At Hodinkee’s headquarters, which sonal collection of watches is impres- and a small constellation of . A occupy a loft space in Nolita, every ob- sive—for example, a gold Patek Philippe tiny golden spins back ject is tasteful, much like the twenty-­ with the Golden Rule inscribed on its and forth, regulating the time (think of some mostly young people working dial, which Lyndon Johnson gave to his a swinging on a grandfather there. In addition to publishing the allies and underlings—and he has likely , but at a tremendously fast clip), most passionate watch journalism on made a small fortune from buying and and this action, to many viewers, gives the Web (and the most incensed read- selling timepieces over the years, but the watch the appearance of being alive. ers’ comments), the site sells its own he’s also harnessed nostalgia in a way It is not uncommon for some watch en- watchbands and vintage watches. Ho­ that feels real. thusiasts to call this part of the watch dinkee’s statistics reflect the often Hodinkee’s influence is felt through- its “heart,” or even its “soul.” The Nomos rarefied world of watch collecting. The out the watch industry. Clymer has was not a quartz watch built by robots average visitor has an income of three helped Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Z pick in a giant Asian factory. A German man hundred thousand dollars, owns five to out their wrist wear ( Jay Z wanted “the or woman with real German problems seven watches, and buys two or three least rapper watch possible”). The had constructed this piece, blue screw more a year at an average cost of seven shrinking size of some of the more in- by blue screw. thousand dollars each. triguing watches for men can, arguably, I was obsessed. And I had time to I spoke with Clymer at Hodinkee’s be traced back to Hodinkee and its indulge my obsession. I believe that a offices. After I launched into a long so- assault on what some in the watch novelist should write for no more than liloquy on a certain gold-filled world call “penis-extenders”—those four hours a day, after which returns , he said to me, “Wow, you’re overwrought testosterone timepieces truly diminish; this, of course, leaves in deep.” I took this as a huge compli- pumped out by newer brands like many hours for idle play and contem- ment, but it was also a sign of how my , but also by old stalwarts like plation. Usually, such a schedule results life was unravelling. Hillary Clinton had Patek and Rolex. If you want a watch in alcoholism, but sometimes a hobby just collapsed at the 9/11 ceremony, that looks like a Russian oligarch just comes along, especially in middle . FiveThirtyEight was showing the elec- curled up around your wrist and died, For us so-called W.I.S., or Watch Idiot tion tightening, and my shrink—also a you might be interested in the latest Savants, all roads led to one Internet watch nut—had just been telling me model of Rolex’s Sky-Dweller. site: Hodinkee, the name being a slightly about the toll the election was taking misspelled take on hodinky, the Czech on his patients. Yes, I was in deep, but s the election approached, I word for “watch.” Hours of my days were weren’t we all? A dear friend of mine started going to meetings of the now spent refreshing the site, looking at who lives in Putin’s Russia collects high- HorologicalA Society of New York. On elaborate timepieces surrounded by wrist end shaving supplies. He once spent the streets of Manhattan, I never have hair and Brooks Brothers cuffs, and part of a visit to New York on the trail any idea which celebrity is which—they learning an entirely new language and of some kind of badger-hair brush. I re- all seem to be Matt Damon—but at the Horological Society I could identify all Seiko. I missed out on the culmination from one month to the next. A my new heroes, many with full, Port- of the evening, when all the watches year isn’t.” I looked into the reassuring landian beards, across the vast hall of were piled up for an Instagram photo deep blue of my old Rolex. I’m famil- the library of the General Society of with the hashtag #sexpile, but as I wan- iar with the concept of leap years, of Mechanics and Tradesmen, in midtown, dered into the autumn night my Nomos course, but Forster was saying that no while they waited in line for their free beat warmly against my wrist. one month, year, , hour is ex- coffee and Royal Dansk butter cookies. actly, perfectly equivalent to any other. There was the nattily dressed Kiran n October, my feelings of dread What hope do we have of regulating Shekar—yes, the Kiran Shekar, noted spiked, and so I decided to buy a our lives, if time itself is an unsturdy, collector, author, and proprietor of the IRolex. Not a new one, of course, but possibly political construct? independent watch purveyor Contra- something vintage—in this case, an Air- “There’s something very mournful pante. I ran over to introduce myself King from the seventies. I spotted one about watches,” Forster told me, after and a few moments later he gave me on the site of a dealer from Boston. It the lecture. When I got home, I checked his watch to hold, and a few weeks later had a perfect “bluejean” dial and well-­ my Air-King and Nomos and Jung- he arranged for me to attend the secret preserved hands, and a brown leather hans against the of time. RedBar, a meeting of the watch elect, strap that I knew would contrast per- gov. The Nomos had lost five seconds at a bar in Koreatown. You need a reg- fectly with the blue dial, as if my whole in the previous twenty-four hours, the ular to invite you to a meeting, and the world were just cool and casual and ev- Junghans close to ten, and the Rolex idea that I could be welcomed into this erything was going to be O.K. After it had gained fifteen. It took an average exclusive world kept me from sleeping. arrived, I got in touch with Eric Wind, of three timepieces to tell the actual I lay in bed practicing what I might say one of the watch experts at Chris- time. We were using watches to calcu- about “perlage,” “three-quarter plates,” tie’s, who told me that the dial was in- late our own demise, and we weren’t and the rare lapis-lazuli dials on some deed rare and the hands “extraordinary.” even doing it accurately. seventies Rolex Datejusts. But, as I suspected, the case had been A few days later, over oysters and At the gathering of the RedBar Crew, overpolished, because the lugs were too gluten-free Martinis, I pressed Forster there was a Brooklyn watchmaker’s ap- sharp and thin. (“Thick, beefy lugs” is a on what I could do to end my expen- prentice from Australia, a woman from mantra for watch collectors; and most sive new hobby. He shrugged and swal- Latin America carefully taking pictures would prefer a scuffed “honest” case over lowed a bivalve. Of collectors, he said, of a prized , a guy from something buffed and shiny.) Still, Wind “There’s some pocket of rot in the oak Helsinki with his own brand of mas- valued the watch at about six hundred of their soul that can only be patched sive watches, and a young man with a and fifty dollars more than I’d paid for up by watches.” hundred-and-fifty-dollar Citizen. No it—my first potential profit as a Watch watch is rejected here, and there is no Idiot Savant. fter Trump won, I went to Ger- hierarchy. Just as at the Horological So- I started looking at the Air-King’s many—specifically, to Glashütte, in ciety, the attendees skew young, a sur- frantic second hand for hours, and lis- theA remote Müglitz Valley, in Saxony, prise considering youth’s supposed slav- tening to its serious ticking, which between Dresden and Prague, where my ishness to all things digital, and there sounded like a surly boxer before the first Nomos Minimatik was born. The jour- are a growing number of women—Red- round. When I was a kid, in the eight- ney from Dresden by suburban train Bar’s chief operating officer is the col- ies, Rolex was shorthand for “yuppie.” took me churches and boxy G.D.R.- lector Kathleen McGivney. There was To console myself that I had not become era dachas, a perfect Russian motif for a boozy meat-market scene in the rest one, I thought of all the rap lyrics fea- a city that once hosted the budding of the bar, which was filled with loud turing the brand. “Girl you look fine / like K.G.B. spy Vladimir Putin. Glashütte, music and twentysomething Koreans a wide-face Rolex, you just shine,” Big- where German began on the make. But, in the section reserved gie Smalls rapped on “Fuck You Tonight.” working in the nineteenth , is for the W.I.S. crowd, we sipped whis- “They took my rings, they took my now home to at least eight companies. key as we stripped off our watches in Rolex,” Warren G commiserates with The town, surrounded by the Ore Moun- our small brightly lit safe space. I threw Nate Dogg on “Regulate.” “I looked at tains, appears suddenly, its train plat- my Nomos on a long covered table and the brotha, said ‘Damn, what’s next?’ ” form hugged by buildings of cement, an exuberantly bearded dude pawed at At a lecture that Jack Forster, Ho­ , and glass. Glashütte does not have it while I got my hands on a cheap but dinkee’s editor-in-chief, gave at the so much as a proper restaurant, although sturdy Seiko diver and an “honest” Horological Society, a photograph of every Tuesday a chicken man comes with . Swiss luxury a lonely Antarctic research station a truck full of roasting birds, and pen- watches may be made with the one per flashed on the projection screen. Speak- sioners dutifully line up as if the cent in mind, but true aficionados know ing of its inhabitants, Forster said, “In Wall had never fallen. that the hegemony of the Swiss is over; Antarctica, there is no time except from “Caring for machines is as essential some of the most interesting watches the civilization that sent them there.” as caring for yourself,” an old East Ger- now come from German brands like He went on to discuss the very subjec- man poster proclaims in one of No- Nomos and A. Lange and Japan’s Grand tivity of time. “A month is not the same mos’s workspaces. The company oper- neomatik from NOMOS Glashütte: Watches with the automatic movement of the next generation. Incredibly slender, highly precise—and now available at selected retailers. Find Minimatik champagner and other NOMOS models at nomos-glashuette.com, nomos-store.com. ates out of Glashütte’s old train station, ers turn to everyday objects for inspi- dollars, which some people consider a and also a well-kept building stuffed ration. “We’re recoding heritage with bargain). with the latest Vitra furniture, situated contemporary influences from Berlin,” In contrast to the freewheeling on a hill overlooking the town. (There one of them told me. The neon orange Nomos, Lange has an air of secrecy and is also a design bureau in Berlin, on that adds such cosmopolitan charm to tradition. To enter the inner sanctum, the Landwehr Canal.) The watches my Minimatik, for example, came from I had to surrender my phone and put are marketed not to the one per cent the orange of warning signs seen in on a lab . Lange’s timepieces are but to the creative classes. “If an edi- technical instruments and on the streets beautiful in an eerie way that collapses tor’s career is on the rise,” a German of the city. The avant-garde fonts for the differences between , speak- publishing friend said, “they’ll get a the numbers on the dial are stretched ing to a world interrupted and then, Nomos.” and opened up for better legibility. The against all odds, resumed. The watch- “Too many Swiss watch companies intelligence of the design never pro- makers use gold chatons with steel have become M.B.A.’d and are run like claims the watch to be anything more screws to hold down the rubies that act Procter & Gamble,” the watch collec- than an instrument. “We know there as a lubrication system for the watch. tor Kiran Shekar had told me in New are more important things than There is absolutely no need for gold York. Nomos is the opposite of that. watches,” Judith Borowski, the compa- chatons at this point—the technology And there is a political element, too. ny’s chief brand officer, said. “Like peo- has moved on—but Lange insists on Saxony has not been immune to the ple suffering around the world.” using them. racist stirrings of the Alternative für Nomos is doing well. The compa- Walter Lange died this year, at the Deutschland party, challenging Angela ny’s sales increased by more than twenty age of ninety-two, and the success of Merkel’s ruling coalition. When an per cent over the previous year, while his company can be seen as a form of AfD march was planned for Glashütte, the Swiss watch industry is suffering, revenge against the totalitarian Soviet the company put up a sign reading, in in part because of the decline of sev- interregnum. The results are almost per- German, “We tick internationally. No eral important markets, such as China versely opulent. Parts of the mechanism to right-wing propaganda. Yes to tol- and Russia, and, at a certain level, the are finished by hand but are never meant erance and cosmopolitanism, and to preponderance of smart watches like to be seen by the owner; only the watch- people who need our help now.” Apple’s. Because Nomos aims for a maker and subsequent watch repairers Visiting a watch manufactory is a younger demographic, its C.E.O., Uwe will see the work in full. When I look soothing experience during chaotic Ahrendt, is optimistic. “The good thing at the back of a Datograph, one of times, and the painfully slow assembly about smart watches is that young peo- Lange’s more complicated watches (it of these beautiful objects may well fall ple started caring about their wrists features a as well as a chronograph, under the heading of “God’s work.” At again,” he told me in Glashütte. “They’ll a kind of ), I see a small city the Nomos workshop, a monastic si- start off with a smart watch and then of silver and gold gears and wheels, a lence prevailed as men and women they’ll switch to mechanical.” miniature three-dimensional universe (there are more of the latter than the After visiting Nomos, I crossed the in which everyone is running to catch former) sat at desks, wearing what road to A. Lange & Söhne. Ferdinand the next bus. If only our own daily ex- looked like pink finger condoms and Adolph Lange, the godfather of Ger- ertions could be so purposeful and or- sifting through parts, some of them man watchmaking, founded the com- nate. If only watches could do what they thinner than a human hair. The work pany in 1845, as part of a Saxon king’s so slyly promise. To record. To keep is difficult and takes a toll. Because their anti-poverty measures. The region was track. To bring order. hands need to be steady, watchmakers chiefly known for mining, but it was cannot drink profusely. According to also famous for basket-weaving, and s the inauguration approached, Nadja Weisweiler, who works for the the dexterity required for that was used I bought another watch. I knew I German retailer and watch manufac- to make precise ticking things. After hadA to stop, but I had an excuse. I des- turer Wempe, they are encouraged to the Second World War, the Soviets na- perately needed a waterproof watch for take up musical instruments or horse- tionalized the company and carted the swimming, my only form of exercise. back riding. I observed with special de- best equipment off to Russia. Walter By my hopeless logic, the watch would light as a watchmaker inserted a bal- Lange, the great-grandson of Ferdi- make me healthier. I went to Wempe’s ance wheel into a new watch, and it nand, was about to be conscripted to emporium on Fifth Avenue, which is came to life for the first time. work in an East German uranium mine, just a few doors down from Trump At Nomos, the dignity of work is when he fled to the West. In 1990, after Tower, and feels like a meditation on still celebrated, and the company pro- the Wall fell and when Lange was six- the calmness of wood and the serenity vides an example of what a creative ty-six years old, he returned to Glashütte of the color beige. It was early in the manufacturing workplace can look like and brought the company back to life. day, but already some gentlemen had at a time when making things is rarely The new watches were soon beloved, stumbled in for their watch-­fondling. the province of humans. Nomos’s de- especially by collectors who didn’t care “Tell me which watch you like and I’ll sign bureau, in Berlin, is light-filled and about Lange’s pricing (entry-level tell you how long I have to work for it,” cheery. The minimally bearded design- Langes start at nearly fifteen thousand one man was telling his five-year-old son. I was served an espresso and a Lindt measures distance or speed, for a pulsa- tism, “but you are a little Russian émi- chocolate by a young man who also pre- tion scale, which helps measure the beat- gré. You know if you need to you can sented me with a Tudor Heritage Black ing of the human heart. put these watches in your pocket and Bay 36, a glowing black-dial water-re- is a storied sneak across the border to Canada past sistant watch bearing the famous Swiss maison (Napoleon wore one of Buffalo. And you can survive.” “snowflake” hour hand of Tudor (a sis- its watches). Amid the aah-ing of the A memory arrived unbidden. The ter company of Rolex). I bought it, audience, I ran over to be the first to year was 1978, and my family and I were whereupon a small bottle of Veuve Clic- feel metal against flesh. Collectors gath- at Pulkovo Airport, in Leningrad, about quot was opened, and although the ered around, taking snaps of the watch to become Soviet refugees in America. iconic snowflake hand was still two hours on my wrist. The atmosphere simmered A stern customs officer took off my short of noon, I drank it down to the with the strange happiness of our little furry shapka and poked at the still warm last. In total, I had now given up 10.1 world, the feeling of being finally at the lining, looking for my par- days of artistic freedom to four watches right place, if maybe not in the right ents might have hidden there. A six- in the course of less than a year. time. The price of the watch was for- year-old is humiliated, but perhaps a Hodinkee invited me to a secret ty-five thousand dollars, and only thir- lesson is learned. What if we had stashed at an undisclosed location. A black Lin- ty-six of them would be available for away some diamonds and somehow got coln MKT picked me up and half an sale. Momentarily, I reviewed my them through to freedom? In talking hour later we arrived at a swish bar in finances. What if . . . to collectors, I have heard the tale of a midtown. Meanwhile, twenty-one­ of Shortly afterward, I met with a well- grandfather who was able to escape Oc- the world’s most significant watch col- known collector and the editor of the cupied France because he gave a gold lectors were making similar, if longer, watch site TimeZone who goes by the Omega to a stationmaster. Is this it, journeys, from as far away as nom de plume William Massena, an then? Is that what my obsession is about? and . They had no idea what ursine man with a strong Continental I will stop buying watches. But allow awaited them. At the bar, Ben Clymer accent and even stronger horological me one last purchase. It comes, via eBay, unveiled the project that Hodinkee had opinions (“I used to get death threats!”). from San Luis Potosí, a city in north-­ been working on for more than a year. The timepieces in his collection were central Mexico. It is a Casio H-108 The company had taken a famous Vach- subtle yet striking. As Massena showed 12-Melody-Alarm, the kind I had lost eron Constantin watch known as the me the gorgeous faded-­brown dial of to the Hebrew-school bully and my Cornes de Vache (its lugs are shaped a , akin to a model grandmother had reclaimed. The watch like cow horns), swapped out the plat- issued to members of the British Navy, feels small, digital, innocent. It duti- inum or the rose gold for humble steel, I told him how I had got into watches fully plays all the songs I remember. switched the white or silvered dial for a at the start of 2016, when our nation The word “HAPPY” appears in eighties slate-gray one, and changed the tachyme- was vulnerable but still whole. “Ah,” he letters as the birthday song plays. And, ter scale on the rim of the dial, which said, in a burst of European pragma- for a , I am. 

Posted with permission from the March 20, 2017 issue of The New Yorker, Conde Nast Publications. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved. For more information on the use of this content, contact Wright’s Media at 877-652-5295.

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