The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 01 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

Case History Legal and Actual o f the Concentration Manchester Caper Camps in America

by Paul Krassner by Charles R. Alien, Jr. Once there was upon a time a face While fascism is many things, re­ painted on the hand of Senor Wences flected in unnumbered manifestations, that magically became a real person it is, quintessential^, the art of the named Jacqueline. She kissed a senator end square—carried to a terrible sci­ in a Spearmint ad, and he in turn be­ ence. Hitler, Mussolini, Trujillo, Batis­ came a real person named Jack. They ta, Franco—and, of course, tod a y’s were married by Chief Justice Earl variant, Johnson—were, and are, above Warren and lived in good taste for not all proto-type squares. quite ever after. It's not only that each in his own Suddenly he was slain by the man way — Mussolini with his castor oil who had most to gain—Mark Lane— ’treatm ent,’ Hitler with his concentra­ who in turn was killed at the police tion camp system leading directly to station by Vaughn Meader. the ‘Final Solution’ (the last, desperate (Continued on Page 13) (Continued on Page 5)

Blow-Up, Psychedelic Sexualis and The War Game

— or, David Hemmings Is Herman Kahn in Disguise

Ready for another little trippypoo? reads McCall's ads in the N.Y. Times, another who in­ Start with this letter from a subscriber: " I ’ve re­ sulted Joe Pyne, etc. In this way, the story appears to cently heard rumors that Paul Krassner d o e sn ’t exist be the exploits of one man, the mythical Paul Krassner. and that he is, in fact, a composite of a number of I ’ve also heard that a conspiracy has developed by fulsome individuals. These people, it ’s said, each sub­ which one faction of Paul Krassners is seeking to gain ject themselves monthly to a strange experience, then control over the rest through the use of CIA terror e v e ry o n e ’s experience is compiled into one story which tactics. Is this the reason I h aven ’t received issue #75?” is subsequently given some idiotic moral (much in the Now the whole world knows. same way Time magazine writes its articles). In issue This has been Vietnam Summer, a men's cologne, #74, for example, the Crazy SANE to Loving Haight more fragrant than Spring Mobilization, which spon­ story was actually written by a Krassner who attended sored an anti-war march on April 15, in San Francisco, S A N E ’s rally, another w h o's an ascetic but takes acid, where then-f?ampart$-publisher-not-to-be Ed Keating another who visited Haight-Ashbury, another who (Continued on Page 17) No. 75 35 Cants http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 02 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

Kosher Indelicacies soon be over. T h ey ’re rehearsing a love Cartoonist Bill Mauldin was “up scene for the movie version of Funny No, Virginia front in Israel” for the Chicago Sun- Girl.” It was a delightful picture, show­ Times. Presumably his famous Willie ing Barbra reclining on a cpuch with by Alan Whitney and Joe would be replaced by two new Omar grasping her around the waist privates named Sheldon and Mark.... and nuzzling her neck. Both were There was a hassle in Wayne, New laughing and obviously having a great Jersey when a board of education offi­ time. You would think that it would New Contest, Enter Now have had a certain reader interest in A Columbus, Ohio paper carried this cial opposed the election of two Jews to that body on the grounds that they New York, which has about half of the headline: nation's Jewish population and a good­ Area Boy's Anus would be ethnically impelled to throw ly slice of the Arab contingent. But Wins Fair Ribbon money around like it was two cents plain. The real story is that the appar­ none of the metropolitan papers would Gray Flannel Mouth Dept. ent anti-Semite was a B’nai B ’rith touch it. In a society so hostile to love When your grandmother lived in plant subtly undermining the stereo­ and good humor, does anybody really that sprawling frame farmhouse in the type of the tight-fisted Jew. . . . T h ere’s wonder why the young rebel? hills of Vermont, was her kitchen well a number in Cabaret in which the em­ stocked with “chocolate liquor; whole The Best News cee dances with a gorilla and sings a A young nurse from the Philippines and defatted milk solids; manitol; song to the effect that the animal isn ’t can teach us all the meaning of class. cocoa butter; lecithin, an emulsifier; so bad when you get used to it. In its Corazon Amurao, whose eight dormi­ vanillin, an artificial flavoring; sorbi­ present form the lyric ends: “She isn't tory mates were murdered in Chicago, tol, natural and artificial flavors"? It a meeskite [ugly person) at all." The was beseiged by book and magazine must have been, because those are the original line was “She d o e sn ’t look publishers to sell her story for the ingredients listed on the label of some sadistic titillation of the great Ameri­ “old fashioned homemade chocolates" I didn't buy the other day. can public. She turned them all down Anytime the advertising industry is because “I d on ’t want to profit from the deaths of my comrades.” o n ‘th e defensive (i.e., anytime) we are assured that it doesn't really make a The Swinging Nun profession out of lying; at worst it I goofed. Three years ago, when the just tells the good parts and leaves out Singing Nun was No. 1 on the charts, the bad ones. So how come a TV per­ we were solemnly assured that she son called Eydic Gorme assured me was going to stay in the convent and that "Plymouth dealers arc having a never use her talent for commercial great sales year” and the next day I purposes. I should have written that read in the papers that their sales are by mid-1967 she would have gotten off 14% from last year? out of the habit, engaged an atheist Indian Extenders manager, begun preparations for a Fact magazine is much given to ex­ U.S. television tour and written a song posing the misleading advertising and in praise of the birth control pill. commercial legerdemain of other insti­ At first I would have been accused tutions. I recently received a letter of another vulgar attempt at anti­ from Fact reading, in part: “. . . we clerical satire, but by now I would have are extending your subscription to been vindicated in every particular. Fact for six months absolutely free Jewish at all,” but the producer in­ Luc Dominique, as she currently calls [emphasis theirs). However, in order sisted on having it changed. . . . Sam herself, has left the nunnery, wears to accomplish this, we are required by Lefrak is a hard-working real estate tight pants and high heels and will be the Post Office to collect the sum of tycoon who has built thousands of over here in the spring to appear live $1.88_____ " apartments in Queens. He has an 18- and on TV. Not only has she written year-old daughter named Francine Glory Be to God for the Golden Pill; TV Good Guys with whom any red-blooded American she is also instructing the Pope on CBS gets this month's award for boy would like to tour the old man's what he should do about it. He has to fairness beyond the call of duty, or master bedrooms. Lately Francine has okay it because “it ’s the only intelli­ maybe for publicity at any price. Dur­ burst on the cafe society scene, com­ gent, right thing to do. I t ’s shocking ing the broadcasting strike, the net­ plete with press agent. But it seems that The Pill sh ou ld n ’t be made avail­ w ork ’s press department sent out pic­ that in a business which routinely ad­ able to everyone who wants it.” tures of AFTRA members picketing vertises fire escapes as terraces, it Okay, I'm not going to be caught its own studios. would be unthinkable to market a short again: Within ten years she will Let Them Eat C-Rations superdeb under the Lefrak label. So have married, produced a male heir, The P en ta go n ’s own total casualty our h ero in e’s publicitor bills her as taught him to play the guitar and figures support the view that the poor Francine Le Frak, and has the Gaul signed a contract for the movie sequel, are fighting the war in Vietnam. When to complain when it d o esn ’t come up Son of Singing Nun. Remember, you the raw state-by-state death statistics that way in print. But at least one read it here first. are related to population, a pattern newspaper stoutly sticks to Lefrak and emerges. Most of the Northern and has told the tub-thumper it will use Sho ‘Nuff Note Lc Frak only when shown documentary This sign was displayed next to a Western industrial states showed one stack of rightist pamphlets in a store evidence that the spelling has been le­ death for every 25,000 to 30,000 people. in Atlanta: “Take one. We a in ’t need­ gally changed in court. . . . The cap­ For Georgia, Alabama, the Carolinas, ing no Federal aid to education. We is tion on the AP wirephoto began: “No Tennessee and Kentucky, the figure already ahead of the other states.” ranged from one in 16,000 to 1 in sign of Middle East Tension Here—If 19,700. The highest death rate in the Israelis and Arabs would follow the Bullseye Note nation, one for every 14,754 inhabi­ example of Jewish actress Barbra The movie To Be a Crook, according tants, was that of West Virginia—the Streisand and Egyptian actor Omar to an ad in the New York papers, very heart of Appalachia. Shariff the Middle East crisis would "Climaxes in a real crazy snatch.” 2 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 03 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

sive—a posture which Arnoni himself has been assum­ ing for years. Editorial Giggies The chairman urged the audience to “save your hate for the question period.” One man dutifully recited Is r a e l’s reactionary history and asked if the displace­ ment of a million Arabs from their land repaid the Mulatto Power relatives of 6 million dead Jews. A while back, Fact magazine was preparing one of Arnoni began to respond: “You make me the spokes­ its non-articles—a poll on interracial marriage—and man for the Jewish fascists—” Krebs interrupted: asked to include my point of view. “I don ’t give a shit "You made me the spokesman for Faisal!” Arnoni then about miscegenation,” I replied. ‘‘My only concern is sang Hava Na Gila, Krebs countered with Havanother with the laws against it.” Na Gila, and the meeting was officially adjourned. Then, because of a personal difference with Ralph Ginzburg, I withdrew my statement. In its introduc­ tion, Fact called me a “pseudo-liberal” and said I was The Sex Life of J. Edgar Hoover “reluctant to comment.” Last year Thomas Henry Carter, a fingerprint clerk I felt so strongly about the matter that, in the middle for the FBI, was facelessly accused of “sleeping with of a radio interview, I decided to renounce my U.S. young girls and carrying on.” He admitted only to citizenship if the Supreme Court failed to declare the necking—an irrelevant confession in view of his pruri­ Virginia anti-miscegenation statute unconstitutional. ent rights—but was nevertheless fired for "conduct un­ Last month they unanimously so declared, voiding simi­ becoming an employee of this Bureau.” He filed suit lar laws in 15 other states. against the man who signed his letter of dismissal, It w asn’t the first time the Court had considered J. Edgar Hoover, and the case is now coming to a head the freedom to marry. In 1883, the scared silly Justices in the Court of Appeals. refused to throw out an Alabama statute, holding that H oov er’s defense is being handled by the U.S. Attor­ the law didn't discriminate against Negroes, since ney’s Office, whose brief denies that “the FBI was in­ whites could be equally punished for violating it. vidiously discriminating in the Constitutional sense in

Some of My Best Friends Are Arabs Thu Realist it published monthly, except for January end July, by The Realist Association, a non-profit corporation. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend," is an old PAUL KRASSNER, Editor t Ringleador Arab proverb. Many leftwingers who consider the U.S. SHEILA CAMPION, Scapegoat their enemy sided with Egypt in its conflict with Israel, BOB ABEL, Featherfaedder but the loyalty of others seemed to be determined by JOHN FRANCIS PUTNAM, Nice Dirty O ld Man DICK OUINDON, N ew Left Flelde* inverse proportion to the length of their foreskins. DONALD WILEN, Chaplain Two professional leftwingers—M. S. Arnoni, editor ROBERT WOLF, R eform ed Idealist of Minority of One, and Allen Krebs, editor of Treason MARSHA SAM RIDOE, Shit-On —held a debate at the Free School of New York. Arnoni, MARGO ST. JAMES, The Realist Nun Publication office is at Box 379, Stuyvesant Sta^ N.Y., N.Y. 10009 who is also a professional Jew, supported Israel, call­ Telephone: GR 7-3490 ing Krebs anti-Semitic and a product of "Jewish self- Subscription rates: hatred." S3 for 10 issues; $5 for 20 issues He said that Krebs’ point basically is that whatever Canadian or foreign subs: $4 and $6 Copyright 1967 by the Realist Association, Inc. side the Soviet Union supports is necessarily progres- Second-class postage paid at New York, N.Y.

dismissing appellant . . . on the grounds that he had kept a girl in his apartment overnight, and slept in the same bed with the girl, on two occasions, and that [his] sexual misadventures had become sufficiently public knowledge to cause an anonymous complaint to the FBI.” One of C a rter’s roommates had been asked whether he had “heard a bed creaking in the next room.” The answer was no. The question was superfluous: “What took place inside is of little significance save that it was not entirely innocent; this was not appel­ la n t’s sister”—incest is obviously unthinkable—“and she spent two nights locked in that bedroom, and pre­ sumably in his embrace . . . people generally assume that couples who sleep together ‘also sleep together.’ Appellant knew that. He knew that the FBI had a repu­ tation to protect.” Exactly what stake does the Bureau have in celibacy? “The FBI must aim at achieving cooperation from every possible member of the population. It cannot be satisfied with a majority, even of landslide proportions. It cannot allow the little old lady from Dubuque [of New Yorker fame] to withhold information from the FBI because she will not trust an organization whose Jun* 1967 3 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - P age 04 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75

agents and employes are allowed to ‘sleep with young girls and carry o n !’,r What kind of example is set by the director himself? J. Edgar Hoover has never been married. He did live with his mother for the last 16 years of her life, but it is safe to assume that except for an occasional nibble on her earlobe their relationship remained pleasingly platonic. If a wife has ever graced his bed, it was somebody e ls e ’s wife. Since Hoover would not practice that which is con­ trary to what he preaches, we can be sure that during his long FBI career—forget about adultery—he has never once fornicated with anyone, neither young-girl nor little-old-lady-from-Dubuque. Homosexuality is absolutely out of the question, if for no other reason than the Supreme Court ruling on May 22nd which upheld the exclusion and deportation of homosexuals under a law that bars “persons afflicted with a psychopathic personality.” (If I were really con­ sistent about the freedom to mate, I’d renounce my citizenship over aberration instead of integration.) J. Edgar Hoover has always been too much of an activ­ ist to wait for nocturnal emissions to come. Obviously, then, he patriotically indulges only in the official FBI practice of auto-eroticism. Altruists all across the na­ tion ought to consider sending him their discarded por­ nography to facilitate his fantasies. Ah Sordid Announcements The Realist, Dept. 75 • As a pointless hoax, Cheetah magazine plans to men­ Box 379, Stuyvesant Sta. tion my death in September; as of this writing, the New York. N.Y. 10009 report is false. Enclosed please find: • Female readers who time their menstrual periods by □ $1 for five extra copies of this issue, #75 the Realist's publishing schedule must think they're in □ $3 for a 10-issue subscription starting with # ...... a continuous state of knock-up-edness. This is the June □ $5 for a 20-issue subscription starting with # ...... issue, coming out in late August. (Note: for Canadian and foreign subscriptions add $1) • We d on ’t publish a July issue. The August, Septem­ □ 75c for Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo ber and October issues will be sent to subscribers in □ $1 for Nudism Explained and Nudist Fact Finder September. They will not be available at bookstores or □ $1 for Concentration Camps USA by Charles Allen newsstands, but all three may be obtained by mail □ $2 for a copy of Paul Krassner’s Impolite Interviews (with Alan Watts, Lenny Bruce, Albert Ellis, Henry for $1. Morgan, Jean Shepherd, Jules Feiffer, Hugh Hefner) • I ’ll be taking my first real vacation in a dozen years, □ $3 for Vietnam! Vietnam! by Felix Greene in Mexico? England? Japan? Arizona? Somewhere. □ $5 for How to Talk Dirty— Lenny B ru ce’s autobiography The November issue will come out in late November; (Soft-cover edition also available from us, for $1) if you don't see it, that should mean only that your □ $5 for How to Prevent Your Child from Becoming a dealer h a sn ’t paid his bill. Neurotic Adult by Dr. Albert Ellis • Although we keep getting rental requests from mail­ □ $6 for A Guide to Rational Living by Ellis & Harper ing houses, as a matter of policy the Realist’s subscrip­ (Soft-cover edition also available from us, for $2) tion list is not available to anyone. □ $6 for Inside the FBI by Norman Ollestad □ $5 for H ousew ife’s Handbook on Selective Promiscuity • According to Internal Revenue Service, ransom paid Q $10 for The Now Book by Rey Anthony to kidnapers is not deductible from federal income tax. □ $1.50 for giant poster of Paul Krassner with spray can • Apologies to those who ordered The Now Book; of Instant Pussy (additional copies to same address, $1) there will be an additional 6-week delay in publication. D $1 for a dashboard Saint Realist (our cover mascot) • The portrait in issue #74 of The Realist Nun read­ □ $1 for a red-white-and-blue Fuck Communism poster ing to a trio of eager novitiates (photographed by Lars D $1 for a blasphemous One Nation Under God cartoon Speyer) was actually a reproduction of her 1966 Christ­ □ $1 for Putnam’s set of 4 empty marijuana seed packets mas card. □ $1 for Guindon’s invasion-of-privacy phantasmagoria • The psychedelic logotype on this m on th ’s cover was □ $1 for Wally W o od ’s Disneyland Memorial Orgy □ $1 for the three non-newsstand issues— #76, 77, 78 done by Jay Lynch, along with stoning Saint Realist □ $3 for a back-issues binder (will hold 36 Realists) out of his mind; our plastic dashboard version main­ □ $...... for back issues at 25c each or all 28 for $7: tains its original, pre-acid shape and structure. 23, 25, 27, 29, 30, 31, 32, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 47, 48 • I ’ve finally succumbed to the urging o f the Person­ 50, 53, 54, 55, 57, 58, 59, 60, 63, 64, 66, 69, 73, 74 ality Poster people, but on my terms. The photo, y o u ’ll notice, shows me holding a spray can of car wax called Name ...... Instant Pussy. It was either that, or nothing at all. If Address ...... Apt...... I’m going to appear, larger than life, on som ebody’s wall, the least I can do is have a message. City...... State...... Zip...... • June 12 was the first annual End of the World Day. 4 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 05 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75

CONCENTRATION CAMPS who prayed for “peace” with his apos­ italist demagoguery from a crude ama- tate daughter and her “little monks” teurdom to a science perverted. (Continued from Cover) at a Washington monastery on the Laying the Marxist jazz aside for a act of the square and Johnson with night he ordered American jets to be­ moment, the observation is valid. After his rapalm r ‘lazy dogs’—bugged gin the bombing deliberately intended all. we ns a nation arc being prepared people in a ; .»ntly criminal way but, to reduce Vietnam to the Stone Age to accept the consequences of inciner­ more to tV. point, each was, and is, . . . all the while conceding expansively ating the world—in the name of “hon­ incapabl* A simply letting people the to his teen-age Baptist drop-oul that oring our solemn commitments” and hell alone. “your Daddy may go down in history “saving the world from communism.” It is endemic for the square ideo­ as having started World War III.” Two vivid, undeniable incidents dem­ logy to impose hit views, tastes, ways Consider the difference, if any, be­ onstrate how deeply this has seeped and, finally, political program on you tween these obscenities and the follow­ into our daily lives: the bloody, utterly whether you want it or not; like it or ing: “Bolshevism is knocking at our unrestrained assaults on the Flower not; and if you don't like it, then, man, gates! We cannot afford to let it in! Brigade by the plug-uglies of the pro­ h e’ll lean on you to the point where We have got to organize ourselves war spectacle in New York City; and getting up tight has all the verisimili­ against it, and put our shoulders to­ the unconscionable beating by the fuzz tude of rational choice. gether and hold fast We must keep of Hippies for singing Buddhist love To groove and let groove is utterly antithetical to the square mentality. When the fuzz bust hippies, beats, diggers, junkies, derelicts, militant Blacks, Wasp peaceniks and assorted straight Lefties, they are simply im­ plementing the categorical imperatives of the square, who insists upon “duty” and unquestioning obeisance to "patri­ otism" and “national responsibility and comm itment.’’ It was no accident that the national slogan of the Nazis was “common in­ terest above self.” Other German fas­ cist commandments: “the State above all classes” and “life as duty and struggle” along with the Italian aphorism: “the Fascist State is an em­ bodied ‘will to power’ ” were not so much slogans of political substance as they were the verbiage of a frightened class of squares threatened by radical change in the Europe of the Depres­ sion. The appeals made up a mixed bag of social demagoguery and deliberate ter­ rorism designed to stop that change and to build up a totalitarian dictator­ ship from the Respectable Right. America whole and safe and unspoiled. chants in Tompkins Square Park. The language employed by to d a y ’s We must keep the worker away from Similar outrages have been taking square, the scenes he makes and the Red Literature and Red ruses. Wc place elsewhere with a growing regu­ targets of his wrath have shifted; but must see that his mind remains larity and consistency over the past his purpose remains the same: the im­ healthy.” several ycais, coincidental, it may be position of total conformity—or else. The only difference is that A1 Ca­ argued, with the increased escalation . It is the “nervous Nellies” and “filthy pone, the author of the latter state­ of the Vietnam war and the accom­ Beatniks” and “drug-crazed Hippies” ment on the eve of the St. V alentine’s panying atrophying of any likelihood who now inspire a special hate. Massacre of a rival Chicago gang in of peace. Hatred is directed against them for the '30s, did not enjoy the office of the The pattern of violence against anti- their wondrous opposition, expressed President of the United States. Establishmcnt dissenters of any hue in countless ways from direct action to That a Johnson invokes religion, has come to the point of apparent sys­ limp passivity, by the whole range of God, morality and peace all in the same tematization; this at a time when the conformity from the buttoned-down, breath while escalating wholesale mur­ demagoguery of the square has reached air-conditioned nightmare of Suburbia der of a gentle, ancient people in the a point of art, the meanest of arts: the to the dirty war of Johnson against name of anti-Communism is in no sense art of fascism. the Vietnamese; by a racism whose a contradiction but an affirmation of This entire development takes place logic inevitably leads from the denial the demagoguery of the fascist square. within the shadow of one of the earli­ of free speech (including, most as­ It is a demagoguery which combines est legislative anticipations of the dic­ suredly, so-called filthy speech) move­ the most spiritual and pure along with tatorship of the American square: ments on high school and college cam­ naked gangsterism: something which namely, the 1950 Internal Security Act puses, to genocide. is at once seemingly popular in form and, in particular, its Title II—a law Moreover, there is a special quality and anti-popular—square—in content. consciously designed to show dissenters to the demagoguery of the square, the Someone said, with insight it seems, what it ’s like and where it ’s at. quality of high-toned morality and pul­ that if Marxism represents the devel­ Among other things this legal gro- pit hypocrisy. opment of socialism from primitive tesquerie known as the McCarran Act Consider, for a moment, the lan­ Utopianism to humanistic science, manages to do, is to make every dis- „ guage of a Lyndon Baines Johnson then fascism is the development of cap­ senter in the land subject to the caprice June 1967 5 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 06 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

of that Dr. Strangelove in a 10-gallon peal—he could put them into concen­ Back in 1952 while on The Nation, I hat who is empowered by the full might tration camps! I think that anyone who was the first American journalist to and majesty of this august law to clap after World War II was in Germany, take a look-see at the camps, inter­ anyone coming within its mad purview and saw the concentration camps of viewing the warden at /■ Uenwcod and into a concentration camp for an in­ Germany, in which men did not have also officers of the Bureau of Prisons definite time with, realistically speak­ the right to trial, would understand which was responsible foi netting up ing, little or no chance of getting out what 1 am talking about.” the physical facilities. At the time, the until LBJ is damn good and ready to Later on, however, the McCarranites, articles which appeared not only in let him out. very cleverly and gladly, included the The Nation but also The New York Title II, Section 100, of the McCar- proposed concentration camp measure Daily Compass and The New States­ an Act provides that under certain con­ into the full McCarran Act. So that man caused a brief sensation, particu­ ditions, the President may, on his own, Title II became, in the very best sense larly because the Korean War—sorry, single-o judgment, proclaim the exist­ of square jargon—a consensus, a bi­ ‘police action’ — was pretty hot and ence of a “national internal security partisan measure, as it were, of the there were cries about clamping “Com­ emergency” throughout the land. He two extant wings of political square- mies” in the camps. can do so if: there is a declaration of dom, the Liberals and the Reaction­ Just recently—because of the bad war by Congress; there is an 'insur­ aries. news that the Johnson Administration rection' within the United States; Said Scott Lucas, the majority lead­ has been laying on us—I decided that there is an ‘imminent invasion’ of the er of the Senate at the time and Or­ the whole Concentration Camp thing U.S. or any of its possessions. ganization Man from Illinois: “I favor ought to be brought up to date and Upon doing so, then the P resident’s a strong measure. . . . One may call it re-appraised in the light of the new political appointee, the Attorney Gen­ a police-state measure or whatever developments which have taken place eral, is required immediately to “appre­ else he may desire. . . . One may talk over the past 15 years. I did so and hend and detain any person as to whom about concentration camps, one may published my findings in a booklet there is reasonable ground to believe talk about . . . creating a police state titled Concentration Camps, U.S.A., that such person probably will engage if he desires; but when we are dealing which was commissioned by the Citi­ in, or probably will conspire with with Communists such as we know ex­ zens Committee for Constitutional others to engage in acts of espionage ist in this country . . . there is nothing Liberties and published by Marzani & or of sabotage.” (The emphases, please too drastic to meet that situation” Munsell (available from the Realist; be it noted, are in the original langauge (original emphasis). see coupon on page 4). of the Act itself.) The late Senator from North Dakota, Briefly, I found that the program William Langer, who offered the only was still in full force. That the John­ This measure was originally spon­ principled opposition to the measure son Administration is all set to swing sored and authored by the so-called from its inception, collapsed on the into action. That there are at least one liberal bloc of Congress in 1950, among million Federal Internal Security whom were such illustrious names as floor of the Senate while trying to up­ hold Truman's vain attempt to veto the Emergency Warrants waiting to be Hubert H. Humphrey, Paul H. Douglas used if need be. That the FBI has a (a phony libera] now teaching at the McCarran Act. His last words as he crashed to the floor of the Senate had thing called “Operation Dragnet” New School in New York), Harley Kil­ the prophetic ring of a latter-day which it can throw into full gear gore and, over in the House, John F. Jeremiah: “overnight.” That the concentration Kennedy. “So it is now proposed to have con­ camps are, in one form or another, still Even the ultra-Yahoos gagged. Mc- centration camps in America! We can ready on a “stand-by basis” and that Carran himself branded it a “concen­ be absolutely certain that the concen­ they can hold at- least an initial com­ tration camp measure, pure and sim­ tration camps are for only one pur­ plement of 26.500 concentrationaries. ple.” Senator Karl Mundt, that old pose: Namely, to put in them the kind I also have discovered since the ap­ reactionary reliable from one of the of people those in authority do not like! pearance of Concentration Camps, Dakotas, attacked Title II as “a start­ So we have come to this! Concentration U.S.A. that certain circles in Wash­ ling program ... of establishing con­ camps!” ington have been put up tight about centration camps into which people The McCarran Act with its Concen­ the whole thing. And that the likely might be put without benefit of trial tration Camp provisions became the candidates for being picked up in but merely by executive fiat . . . simply McCarran Law on September 22, 1950. “Operation Dragnet” have expanded by an assumption miyid you [original Title II still is the law of the land. considerably since the passage of Title emphasis] that an individual might be Although it has not yet been invoked, II so as to include the whole black- thinking about engaging in espionage it could easily be at any time; and, hippy-dissent scene — which was not or sabotage.” moreover, Congress has on 24 separate the case back in the early 1950s. Homer Ferguson, the venerable King occasions tried to have the White I want especially to consider these Canute of anti-unionism during the De­ House put it into action. latter developments which are of cru­ pression, said, ho-ha, this is going even Within six months after he had ve­ cial importance in the light of the further than I can envisage! The law toed it, then-President Harry S. Tru­ swift and confusing march of events would allow a single person to go into man told his Attorney General (a with which we will be faced for some the “inmost recesses of a p e rso n ’s tainted party hack by the name of J. time into the indefinite future. mind” and determine if that person Howard McGrath) to set up “on a In the first place, the Internal Se­ “probably might commit so-called es­ stand-by basis” adequate facilities in curity Division of the Justice Depart­ pionage and sabotage at some time in the event that Title II was ever invoked. ment—which is charged with carrying the vague, indefinite future.” The Justice Department did so in out the details of the McCarran Act— And then, Ferguson observed: 1952, setting aside six federal prison has been very secretive about the con­ “. . . upon the happening of a single camp sites for this purpose and getting centration camps. I asked the bureau­ event, one person, namely the President nearly a million dollars to carry out the crat who heads the Division—one J. of the United States . . . would go out “detention camp program.” The sites Walter Yeagley, a Kennedy appointee onto the highways and by-ways. . . . were as follows: Allenwood, Pennsylva­ —for an interview to discuss the And what could such a person do? He nia (just 4 hours by car from New camps. could round up thousands upon thou­ York); Avon Park, Florida; El Reno, In a letter, he not only refused to sands of people, and without trial, Oklahoma; Wittenburg and Florence, hold still for an open, thorough exami­ without hearing, without right of ap- Arizona; and Tule Lake, California. nation but arrogantly remarked inter 6 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 07 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

alia: "It strikes me that any official the Office of the U.S. Attorney General, doubt that when the Presidential proc­ view I might have on the subject of or has it simply been subsumed annu­ lamation is issued, these camp sites, or your inquiry [the concentration camps ally by the Bureau acting upon the others, will be concentration camps under Title II] should be for my su­ force of the original directives by the ‘with all the ugly connotations that periors only and not a subject for pub­ Attorney General?” term im p lie s’?’’ lic discussion.” • Answer: “Subsumed.” But above all are two burning ques­ Does that or does that not show That the Internal Security crowd tions which the Justice Department where i t ’s at? doesn't like the term concentration and the FBI do not want to answer: Now comes Senator Robert F. Ken­ camps goes without saying. But con­ (a) how many would be picked up in nedy, the Democrat from New York centration camps is the precise, generic ‘Operation Dragnet’ by the FBI and who is running hard for the White term. Sorry about that. the entire fuzz apparat of the United House either in 1968 o r 1972 o r 1976 The Citizens Committee for Consti­ States; and (b) who will be picked up? . . . or whenever. He knows an issue tutional Liberties had the acumen to Firstly, as to how many would be when he secs one; especially, his adroit point up this aspect of the Establish­ picked up. The Justice Department exploitation of the anti-Johnson senti­ m en t’s denials by reminding Senator flatly rejects the figure of 500,000 ment among the generally discontented Kennedy that the U.S. Senate j’ustificd American citizens in 1952 as a “com­ who are sick and tired of Vietnam, plete fabrication.” What they failed to Santo Domingo and other typically say is that I said—with emphasis— Democratic adventures into war. that the list of 500,000 had to b e neces­ In a significant exchange of corres­ sarily “the basis for carrying out the pondence with the Citizens Committee FBI-directed ‘Operation Dragnet’ in for Constitutional Liberties, Kennedy which, initially, 3 to 12 thousand averred that the Internal Security Di­ Americans would be picked up over­ vision enclave in the Justice Depart­ night for incarceration in federal de­ ment told him that my writings about tention camps as potential spies and the camps were “replete with inaccura­ saboteurs.” cies” and that my claim—that in 1952 Again I call upon the Citizens Com­ a master pick-up list of “approxi­ m itte e ’s response to Senator Kennedy. mately 600,000 Americans was drawn The Committee points out: up to serve as the basis for carrying “The Internal Security Division has out the FBI-directed ‘Operation Drag­ not questioned the authenticity of Mr. net' in which, initially, from 3 to 12 A llen ’s quote from Senator M cCarren’s thousand would be picked up ‘over­ remarks in the Senate [in 1950] when n igh t’”—w as, in the words of the In­ he added Title II to the bill bearing ternal Security unit, “a complete fab­ his name. He said: '. . . according to rication.” FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover, there Kennedy also wrote: “The Division are 12,000 hard core, dangerous Com­ states without equivocation that there munists who could immediately be are no ‘concentration camps’ in exist­ the enactment of Title II by “the prece­ picked up . . . 55,000 [members] . . . ence in the United States.” dents afforded by Court decisions sus­ [and] 500,000 additional Americans Well, I’m sure in hell not going to taining the validity of the Japanese re­ who are either willing tools or party­ get in a shouting contest with the location program” when 110,000 Japa- line followers. . . .’ Mr. Hoover himself sanctum sanctorum of the rat finks nese-Americans were incarcerated dur­ told the Congress on the eve of the (the Justice Departm ent’s Internal Se­ ing World War II. A ct’s passage that ‘there is a potential curity Division). But the Citizens Com­ fifth column of 550,000 people dedi­ Said the CCCL: cated to this philosophy.’ ” mittee handled the whole matter very “In the Japanese cases, Mr. Jus­ well. tice Black, writing for the majority The listing of so-called subversive In the first instance, the claim that in Korcmatsu v U.S. found it un­ organizations and their membership there are no concentration camps in pleasant to call the detention centers (and followers, as distinct from for­ existence is very neatly reduced to the ‘concentration camps with all the mal members) by the federal and state absurdity it is not merely by the evi­ ugly connotations that term implies,’ governments has a vague history dat­ dence presented to date but addition­ but Mr. Justice Roberts, dissenting, ing back to beginnings of organized ally by a most germane exchange of had no hesitancy in identifying ‘the trade unions and the anti-slavery senti­ correspondence between me and the detention camp centers as a euphe­ ments (the precursors of to d a y ’s civil Director of the U.S. Bureau of Pris­ mism for concentration camps.’ The rights movement) about the time of ons, Myrl Alexander, who is in charge resistance of the Japanese to intern­ the Civil War and immediately there­ of the concentration camp p ro g r a m ’s ment [was] characterized [by Jus­ after. maintenance. I asked Mr. Alexander tice Roberts] as ‘not submitting to The first step toward systematizing several key questions governing Title imprisonment in a concentration this process was President Harry S. II and the camps. Among them were camp.’ The learned Justice spoke of T ru m a n ’s Executive Order 9836 issued the following: the order for internment as ‘a clev­ on March 21, 1947. The loyalty oath or • Question: “The former director of erly devised trap to accomplish the official litmus test became institutional­ the U.S. Bureau of Prisons, the Hon. real purpose of the Military Author­ ized by law, providing for widespread James V. Bennett, stated in correspon­ ity which was to lock him up in a ‘loyalty’ investigations of federal dence he issued on March 26, 1952, concentration camp.’ Mr. Justice workers. that, in his words, ‘Responsibility for Murphy in the Hirabayashi case, re­ As an indispensable part of this offi­ the detention program [has] been dele­ ferring to the Japanese detention cial witch hunt, the Attorney General gated to this Bureau. . . .' My question centers, said, ‘In this sense it bears promulgated a list of “subversive or­ is: Has this been the responsibility a melancholy resemblance to the ganizations.” In 1948, the list con­ every year since that statement up to treatment accorded to members of tained 82 organizations; by 1953 the the present?” the Jewish race (sic) in Germany amount had jumped to over 260. Today • Answer: “Yes.” and other parts of Europe.’ ” the list is even larger. • Question: “If so, has this responsi­ The Citizens Committee put it on the The process has long since expanded bility been annually delegated anew by line by asking: “Can there be any beyond government employees; it ef- June 1967 7 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 08 scan s of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

fects virtually the entire work force well over one million today. This quan­ single program—are the Deacons for of the country. . titative increase results directly from Decency and Justice, the Black Pan­ At the same time, the various witch the changing shape and nature of dis­ thers, RAM (Revolutionary Action hunters of Congress — like the Un- sent in the country. Movement), Concerned Black Students American Committee (which issued its At the time of Title II's becoming and other like groups which are grow­ own list of 600 by 1953), the Eastland lav/ in 1950, the civil rights and peace ing, gaining new adherents as is their Committee in the Senate and several movements in this country were pretty concept of Negro self-defense also others—along with a host of “little much confined—in a formal organiza­ gaining ground not only among Afro- Un-American Committees" in the tional sense—to the identifiable Left. Americans but their white allies and states and large cities of the country, This of course primarily concerned the supporters. (Of course I do not ex­ also published list after list of not only Communist Party of the U.S. and the clude the Black Muslims and similarly organizations but the names of indi­ organizations of its general—but not, rigorous black nationalists from con­ vidual heretics. in any way, necessarily precise parallel tributing to this new aspect of the American political scene.) By the mid-1950s, this frenetic hys­ —orientation. There were indeed sev­ teria over names and the un-ending eral non-Communist and, in fact, anti­ This means that the source for op­ hunt for names most certainly resulted communist, civil rights organizations position to Title II has widened but it in at the very least a compilation of and peace groups at the time but they also means that the numbers who 500,000 or more such “names" by way did not receive primary attention from would be picked up by the fuzz have of an elaborate, scientific computer the McCarranites. also increased. It is a source of system. So that today, we know from a Demonstrable proof of what I’m say­ strength and a new danger. It is not World Journal Tribune story of April ing is that Section 109 (h) (3) of for nothing in my own appearances op 23, 1967 datelined Washington D.C. Title II provides precisely that the TV and radio that I have encountered that there is a brand new, 2.5-million- U.S. Attorney General may consider reasoned, enlightened and solid concern dollar computer, Univac 1108, which membership in the CP since January over the concentration camp provisions has been “installed in a secret location 1, 1949 to be “the existence of reason­ of Title II coming primarily from this outside of Washington” by the Office able ground” to “apprehend and de­ source. I am very proud of the fact of Emergency Planning (OEP). tain” in a concentration camp any “po­ that the Deacons and the Black Pan­ tential spy or saboteur.” thers have made Concentration Camps, The FBI; CIA: National Security U.S.A. required reading. Council; Army, Navy, Marine, Air That was in the days of the Old Force, Coast Guard and Maritime In­ Left. Today is a whole other bag. We They know better than anyone else telligence Services; the Un-American not only have the Old Left (I most cer­ just where it ’s at, man. They d on ’t Committee; the Eastland Internal Se­ tainly do not use the term pejoratively have to be told that the White House curity Committee; a host of state ns a put down; but merely in a descrip­ could take one look at, le t ’s say, a "Little Un-American Committees"; the tive, indeed, admiring, sense), but combined Watts, Harlem '64 and De­ U.S. Post Office; the U.S. Immigration above all we have the New Left. troit '67 breaking out and—zap!—LBJ and Naturalization Service; the Intel­ The New Left has exploded onto the could yell "insurrection!”—one of the ligence Division of the National Labor American political scene, namely in the magic words under Title II—and a hell Relations Board of the U.S. Depart­ civil rights area, in the peace move­ of a lot of black militants and their ment of Labor: the State Department; ment—and the Hippy movement. The white brothers and sisters will be in those camps—overnight, baby. and every “Red Squad” and “Tactical Supreme Court decision of 1954 in the Force” of every single metropolitan case of school desegregation gave im­ On an ABC-TV appearance out in police force in the country: all of them petus to the genesis of what has been San Francisco—shortly after the Black are continuously feeding data—names, rightly called the Black Revolution. Panther guys “invaded” the California addresses, current political activities, At first, the demonstrations were State Legislature with shot-guns to associations, habits, movements, trips headed by such moderates as Martin indicate their feelings on the issue of abroad, communications and correspon­ Luther King, Roy Wilkins, Daisy Negro self-defense— I was asked if the dence — into Univac 1108 which, in Bates and the NAACP, the Southern beats, diggers and hippies were prime turn, refines and keeps the Master Christian Leadership Conference, Ur­ candidates for Title II. While the Pick-up List right up to snuff. ban League and the like. But in the question was asked in a jocular man­ We know further from the testimony past several years, grown thoroughly ner, I considered (and still do) it a of former FBI Agent, Jack Levine, tired of the moderate pace of the re­ serious point. that “Operation Dragnet” is standard spectables—who rely primarily on the Because of the special nature of Title operating procedure in the FBI which long and often futile court processes II; and because the Hippies must be will put it into instantaneous action of a White Establishment—the New treated seriously as a politico-social upon President J oh n son ’s invoking Left has seen the rise of an increasing phenomenon—largely as a vague, ran­ Title II after declaration of an “inter­ number of Black militants who view dom and unprogrammatic expression nal security emergency.” their p e o p le ’s struggle in a much more of a deep, reflective discontent with I have further learned that one mil­ radical way and have' the guts enough the status quo—it is not altogether in­ lion Federal Detention Warrants have to implement it with action both on a conceivable that the Hippies would be been printed up, all ready for immedi­ short-range or tactical scale (such as effected. ate issuance to and for use by the FBI the closing down of segregated schools If the President declared a “state of and other federal, state and local police here and there) and on a long range internal security emergency” on ac­ agencies once “Operation Dragnet” is or strategical scale (such as C O R E ’S count of an “insurrection” or a dec­ set into motion. electoral victories in Baltimore and, of laration of war, the Hippies—who in It is a fact that since the passage of course, the Ghetto uprisings in Watts, general are right up there with the Title II into law, both the quantity Philly, Rochester, Cleveland, Harlem, militant cats and whose ranks, indeed, and quality of those who are the pri­ Oakland, Boston, Newark and Detroit include a large percentage of Negroes; mary targets have changed signifi­ in which one can see the faint begin­ and who make their presence felt in cantly. nings of a virtual state of seige in the the peace movement (“Flo w er Power" Firstly, the number of those who major, metropolitan Ghettos of Amer­ and “L-o-v-e” are peculiarly Hip—and would be logically effected has consid­ ica over the next several years). important—contributions to the anti­ erably grown, from a round figure of These organizations — not by any war movement)—would very likely be about 600,000 back in the mid-50s to means gathered as yet into a unified picked up. 8 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 09 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

an official said ‘it is obvious that Operation Dragnet tial saboteur and in the event there these [New Left] groups are becom­ is a deterioration, le t ’s say, in our ing more and more vociferous and In the fall of 1962, radio station threatening’ in protesting against WBAI in New York scored an im­ relations with the Soviet Union to a point where hostilities may be im­ the war in Vietnam and calling for pressive journalistic coup when it sedition. However, he said . . . W interviewed a former agent of the minent, in that case, the FBI will round up all the known communists are following closely the activities of FBI, Jack Levine, who charged that some of these groups. . . .' the FBI was guilty of systematical­ and people that they (the FBI) ly violating the basic civil rights would suspect of being sympathetic • “. . . The Number of young New and civil liberties of American citi­ to the Soviet Union and who might Left miliants who advocate violence zens on the pretext that they were possibly act as saboteurs and will is growing, it was found.... A poten­ “Communists” or “subversives.” have them interned during the peri­ tial threat to public order was seen During the interview, the follow­ od of the crisis. in areas where racial disorders this summer are feared, including Cleve­ ing exchange took place: Q : Do you have any idea how Levine: Well, for one thing, the many individuals that might in­ land, Chicago and, possibly, New FBI considers its mandate to do in­ volve? York.” vestigations into subversive organi­ A: I never heard any specific The Times, basing its observations zations as a mandate to collect gen­ figure. on the very squares in charge of im­ erally all intelligence information Q: Is this plan public knowledge plementing Title II, said that the New which will enable them to keep track or how did you learn of the plan? Left has about 200,000 adherents of all ‘subversive’ groups and indi­ A: Oh, this was freely discussed across the country, although the figure viduals that are operating in the in our lectures on sabotage. was deemed, in its august opinion, United States. Q: Did it have a name? “exaggerated.” Q: Is there a master plan behind A: Well, the FBI has labeled it Exaggerated or not, the New Left— this, some plan that, in the event of Operation Dragnet . . . the FBI es­ mostly the kids and the peace guys and some kind of hostility, some action timates that within a matter of the New Black Militants — comprise, might be taken? hours every potential saboteur in along with the wonderful old pros on A: Oh, yes, the FBI has got a the United States will be safely in­ the Old Left, what is clearly well in very carefully laid out and detailed terned. T h ey ’ll be able to do this by excess of a million prime candidates plan of action. . . . This plan has the close surveillance they maintain for being busted as those "whom there been set up under the authority of on these people and they (the FBI) is reasonable ground to believe that the Emergency Detention Act (Title envisage that with the cooperation such person (s) probably will engage II of the McCarran Act) . . . the of the local police throughout the in or probably will conspire with others FBI has kept close tabs on those in- country, th ey ’ll be able to appre­ to engage in acts of espionage or sabo­ diivduals they consider ... a poten­ hend these persons in no time at all. tage.” If Title II is invoked it will touch off the biggest, most hysterical man­ hunt in history. More to the point, the Hippies al­ war has grown wider; Johnson—who ready are demonstrably the recipients makes McCarthy a quaint memory— While I was working on Concentra­ tion Camps USA, I met an affable guy of a special hatred by the police. As­ has steadily escalated us toward a suming that Title II was invoked and, thing with China and the Soviet Un­ who was the editor of a daily news­ paper located near the old Japanese once the waves of largely political ar­ ion; and the paranoia against peace­ rests were over, then the Hippies niks, Vietniks, Beatniks and Hippies relocation camp in Tulc Lake, Califor­ would most assuredly be next as des­ is only just beginning. nia and an original Title II concentra­ pised outcasts and “undesirables” and We. have today a considerable—but tion camp site. “perverts”—ju st as their hip counter­ quite unorganized and, worse, quite He asked: “Say, what about a title parts were in Nazi Germany and are defenseless, pacifistic — peace move­ [for your book] . . . got one?” today in fascist Greece where the mili­ ment. Here too the anomaly of more I said, “Yeah, but i t ’s already been tary junta early decreed the immedi­ resistance yet more potential victims used.** ate imprisonment of “bearded, filthy for the concentration camps under “What?” he rejoined. beatniks” and “unclean persons” in the Title II may be seen. The Women “Waiting for Lefty," I answered— concentration camps of the Aegean Strike for Peace, the DuBois Clubs, and he doubled up with laughter. Islands where more than 13,000 "Com­ the Committee of the Professions Then I asked him what he would do munists” are now held in “detention.” Against the War, the SDS kids and in the event Title II was invoked. He The same is true of to d a y ’s peace the Youth Against War and Fascism grunted an inaudible curse. I needled movement. The Vietnam war is now an are all recent expressions of the New him: “Ah, come on now. If the FBI undeclared “executive action.” But Left whose membership lists, subscrib­ picked up a bunch of peaceniks from there is increasing pressure to have ers lists and meetings arc carefully Berkeley and moved them into Tule Congress declare war formally. Look, monitored by finks and duly recorded Lake, y ou ’d get out a flaming red, even such a straight as Arthur M. in that mindless Univac 1108 for in­ white and blue editorial about how it Schlesinger, Jr., can see what’s coming clusion on to d a y ’s (and tom orrow ’s) would be everybody’s patriotic duty to up; he wrote in the August 12, 1966 Master Pick-Up List for “Operation support the detention camp, w ou ld n ’t issue of the SatEvePost: “For better Dragnet.” you?” or worse, we seem to be moving to­ To clinch my point, consider The He sighed—with no apparent en­ ward a deeper involvement and a wider New York Times for May 7, 1967, thusiasm —“Yeah, I guess I would at war in Vietnam. This, I believe, is the which devoted nine full-page columns that.” condition which we must anticipate and of its old lady type in a round-up omi­ I t ’s just what Kafka and T. S. Eliot for which we must prepare. As the war nously headed: ‘The New Left Turns and Orwell have been telling us all increasingly dominates and obsesses To Mood of Violence In Place of Pro­ along about Big Brothersville, the end our national life, we can look for ... a test.’ The Times piece went right into of the world and the final dictatorship new McCarthy [and a] new McCarthy- the m are’s nest for the following: of the Square. That it all comes, not ism. . . .” • “At the Internal Security Divi­ with a bang but with a whimper—or a In the year since he wrote this, the sion of the Department of Justice, resigned sigh. Jim* 1967 9 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 10 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

One of the common targets of the widespread popular resentment was the American flag. Originally, the Coexisting indignities to which it was subjected consisted chiefly by Saul Heller of trampling or burning it. More imaginative humilia­ J.wn —mw »|,||— tions of the national symbol soon developed. Spitting on the flag was one. Manufacture of toilet B y 1967, anti-patriotic acts had become fairly nu­ paper decorated by an American flag pattern was an­ merous in the United States. These were spontaneous other. Young men of draft age took a great satisfaction upsurges—something like patriotism in other coun­ in wiping their anal openings with this kind of toilet tries. In April 1967, for instance, a faculty member at tissue. Some who had been inclined to be constipated the Indiana State University burned an American flag claimed it was beneficial in loosening their bowels. A during a class-room lecture. Although it may have been certain number of them became so devoted to the ritual done to keep the students awake, we believe it was, that they became fecally impotent when the paper was rather, part of a ritual of contempt that was developing temporarily unavailable, and had to wait for relief at the time—the answering contempt for the Adminis­ until their neighborhood stores received a new stock of tration that the Administration habitually exhibited the stimulating toilet tissue. toward the academic community. Manufacturers who never-let patriotism interfere In May of that year, there was an art show in New with their more sensible emotions quickly recognized York City that featured flag desecration. According to the latent profit potentials in the situation. One came the N.Y. Times of May 21, 1967: "M o rrel’s show, a out with a toilet bowl brush decorated with a flag pat­ group of sculptures and fabric constructions that pro­ tern, possibly causing many people to clean their toilet tested American engagement in the Vietnam war, con­ bowls for the first time. Chairs with the Stars and tained one piece in which Old Glory formed a symbolic Stripes painted on their seats became good sellers. The figure in a hangm an’s noose; another in which the flag prospect of repeatedly bringing their buttocks into in­ was draped in chains, a third that featured it as a penis timate contact with the sacred symbol of patriotism hanging on a cross.” delighted many anti-patriots. During the same month, four students at the Yale Passing wind became socially permissible in public, University School of Drama were accused of "defacing if the farter was, at the time, seated in one of these the flag, using it as a blanket and shawl and throwing chairs. Persons who were too timid to indulge their it on the floor and rolling in it.” (N.Y. Times, M ay 24, flatulence and anti-patriotism publicly did so in pri­ '67.) Most significantly, charges were dismissed by vate, with great satisfaction. Some psychosomatic phy­ Criminal Court Judge Frederick L. Strong, at the re­ sicians claimed that the act of passing wind against quest of the assistant district attorney. the flag had a therapeutic effect on ulcers. The pattern of anti-patriotism became very marked In gyms, particularly those frequented by colored when it became clear that Nixon was going to oppose people, punching bags with an American flag on one Johnson in 1968. The insensitivity of the Johnson Ad­ side, and a picture of Uncle Sam on the other, were in ministration to popular feeling was, of course, notori­ common use. Even patriotic trainers of boxers forgot ous. The attempt to bypass the will of the electorate by about their antipathy when they noted how much witholding from it a choice on the Vietnam war had harder their fighters were punching these bags. never before, however, taken so gross a form. It re­ Flags painted on garbage cans were a common sight sulted in an enormous intensification of the hostile in slums. Sanitation men quickly got to hate them;, so public attitude toward the Administration. much garbage was flung against the outside of the cans Even in 1967, the mood of the public had been nasty that the clean-up work that had to be done doubled. enough. U P I’s Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Merri- The venomous contempt prevalent found targets man Smith stated in April of that year that President other than the flag, of course. Giant-sized photos of Johnson had become the target of an extensive vilifica­ LBJ became popular. They were used for bizarre gath­ tion that could "tear down public confidence” and lead erings called piss-ins—parties at which mass urina­ to "anarchy.” Smith, documenting his assertions, tions took place over the photo. At parties that went stated that New Orleans variety stores were selling out of control, defecations were also engaged in. license plates "associating the President with barnyard Mass masturbations over the photos were also consid­ filth.” Lapel buttons carrying “dirty sayings” about ered but generally rejected—sex in any form was, the L B J’s family were being sold at Southeastern road- feeling went, too sacred to profane in this manner. stands. Smith also called attention to the printed plac­ There were violent protests on the part of decent ard in wide circulation reading: "Lee Harvey Oswald, citizens against these obscene shenanigans. The anti­ where are you now that we really need you ?” patriots were, however, as unpleasant a bunch of peo­ The tide of anti-Administration vilification began to ple, by and large, as patriots had been in former years, rise toward the levels foreshadowed by Merriman and were likely to treat patriots in much the same Smith when Johnson was re-elected in 1968 by the loyal manner as they treated the flag, and the photos of LBJ. following he had among the small minority that turned They carried knives and guns, and d id n ’t hesitate to out to vote. Anti-patriotic acts not only became com­ use them when attacked. Patriots citizens who had mon—the Administration had no power to stop them. gotten used to standing by and watching criminals at J oh n son ’s tendency to alienate all about him had been work suddenly realized it was hardly worth-while to active so long, the Establishment was becoming unce­ risk their skins fighting something so tenuous as a mented. Lacking the good will and cooperation not only symbolic protest. of his own party, but even the Republicans, the Chief Police were also unwilling to tangle with the anti­ Executive was forced to endure in silence the unchecked patriots. Courts had ruled that the right to make such contempt of the public. symbolic protests was guaranteed by the First Amend- 10 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 11 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

ment, removing the grounds for any arrests. Besides, a secret “Racketeers Against LBJ” group had been set up, and it warned cops to lay off. Reporter at Small Right-wing extremist groups initially attacked anti­ by Robert Wolf patriots. When the anti-patriots took to tattooing American flags on the buttocks of any extremists who Injecting a Note of Rationality fell into their hands, the patriotism of the right-wing­ The National Health Federation—a 10,000-member, ers ebbed very considerably. non-profit league which furthers "freedom of choice Secret orders came from Washington banning the in matters of health where the exercise of that freedom use of flags at public gatherings; so many people in the does not violate the equal freedom of another”—held its audience commonly thumbed their noses at the flag that annual meeting. it was considered wise to remove the provocation. An­ N H F ’s full-time Washington lobbyist, Clinton Miller, other secret edict prohibited the singing of the Star told of a recent FDA ruling that would require a pre­ Spangled Banner. Audiences liked to sing it off-key, scription for vitamins. The FDA was originally em­ producing a hideous cacophony that made an undesir­ powered in 1928 to label as drugs anything for which able impression on foreign tourists. health claims are made. According to Miller, this The anti-patriotic infection spread to churches and means they can seize whole-wheat cookies and say synagogues. Pray-ins were held urging God to strike “this drug is mislabeled.” The NHF wants the regu­ the members of the Administraton dead, or at least lation updated to apply to chemicals only, not food give them some crippling or hideous disease. byproducts. Doctors made ingenious contributions. When an emi­ For once, the health lobby and the drug lobby are nent surgeon referred to pus as Johnson’s exudate, united. “We’ve never been in this bed before,” says others in the profession began to do likewise. A new Miller. The drug firms have filed some 200 briefs on term for blood—Johnson water—also became popular. the matter, some costing $100,000, and expect to see the

Strange superstitions sprang up and flourished. Preg­ hearings run a year or two. Head of the FDA Goddard nant women, for instance, believed it was bad luck to is paid $23,000 annually. The drug industry has tried mention LBJ's name in their presence—they felt it to woo him away with job offers of $50,000. would induce a miscarriage. NHF also has a state volunteer, Arthur Cordts, who Devil worship, suppressed for centuries, came into described a bill which would require registration of the open. Black masses were held at which LBJ was restaurants and stores which claim their food promotes worshipped. There were stories that Johnson was not health. This would affect the buffet luncheons of diet entirely displeased with this adulation, but no decent clubs, vegetarian—even Musilm—eating places. Cordts citizen—when one could be found—gave them any cre­ likened it to registration with the Subversive Activi­ dence, of course. ties Control Board. Johnson was, understandably, much troubled over Another bill would require compulsory vaccination most of these developments and called together a rep­ of all children entering school—for measles, diptheria, resentative grouping of professors to get thier views whooping cough and (non-communicable) tetanus. on the causes of the situation. The report prepared by Cordts claims the bill was lobbied and pushed through the professors stated, in essence: “The root of the by the Christian Scientists—who are exempted from it trouble is that the people don't feel they have a voice under the definition! The NHF asks, is a Christian in the government. They have come to despise it for its Science child any less susceptible to diptheria than prevarications, its sadism, its corruption and its another child? cowardice.” Many people oppose vaccination because the live L B J’s looks grew blacker and blacker as the lengthy culture often causes the disease in patients. Since 1948, report was read. At its conclusion, he rose and ad­ an NHF official stated, more people have died of small­ dressed his bodyguard—some thirty men, armed with pox vaccinations than of smallpox itself. Nevertheless, sub-machine guns, hand grenades and a small cannon. smallpox vaccination is compulsory, and now, since “Get these bastards out of here,” he shouted. “And January 1st, polio shots are also required in New York don ’t ever let them come back . . . even if I absent- schools. mindedly invite them.” In 1972, with the election of Robert F. Kennedy as Echoes of UnAmerican Activity President, the unprecedented wave of anti-patriotism Radical folksinger and Emmy-winning writer Mil­ began to recede, to be supplanted by less overt forms lard Lampell was a member of a panel drawn together that acceptably polluted the air and water, laid waste to conduct a biopsy on the blacklist. During those years the n a tion ’s resources, and fleeced the taxpayers. he had to write under a pseudonym. At first this proved June 1967 11 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT uessor u. xv. i u a u u i c . T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - Cen terfold Item t realistically s c a n s of this entire issu e found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75 The contro ayed a couple Bobby Kem die. He priva dock fa cto ry ; licly calls hin ! bouncing on in every sens le com puter’s One of Bobbj a violin solo Newfield, wh stration was time, sent hi ith a moment own self be t damned spot.' ical Society— The Germs :nt Computer ized The Dea gathered to Look’s omiss the parts of r up to man which had t me less valu- months befor “When will rights to Loo te replied, “I executive in on to believe who obvious!; i.” As if the has made a’ lockey match photostatic c< ;e applauded. By the wa; Not totalh all, I am in am an execu i fo r Feeling is n ’t an exec for affection and I did prc ;imes I use a The only thi photostatic c< >ck Chisholm nal manuscri ige: Implica­ Well, I coi t e no longer stacle. the problem At first, I i adults in the to Dick Linge which ended ter from D Thousand Ni I decided to one of those started by st n: “Employ- and improvis ’ But t h e r e ’s stories that dents know n University mained unpu ive and well Meanwhile, for a Jesuit ing on with night and gc mous scene it the World neckrophilia. editor ask a I knew—inst sported dead context this 3. C a n ’t we surd conclusi Soft-Core Pornography of the Month on, both dran nphrey lays Lassie Performs Caninelingus on Lady Bird literally or i http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT H ie REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 12 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

.ttle help because he couldn't show up for the editorial Technical Vindication onference at the studio. Later producers took a cynical The obscenity case against head Fug Ed Sanders has ttitude toward the blacklist, and under his own name been dismissed by a 3-judge panel. The police had ..ampell was assigned to revise a script he’d written seized a copy of his Fuck You/A Magazine of the Arts; nder another name. another periodical in his bookstore called Blacklist; a He told of two writers he’d met in London who were collection of E d ’s poems; a work by W. H. Auden; a rying to pass as listees; they found they got more book of pornographic photos by Jack Smith; and a nvitations to cocktail parties. Too, they could say petition calling for an International Fuck-In Against hey’d written such-and-such a film but hadn't gotten the War in Vietnam. creen credit. Another Britisher—a contemporary of Attorney Ernst Rosenberger reminded the court that •hakespeare — Christopher Marlowe, actually was on presumption of intent to sell requires that 6 or more he blacklist; HUAC had seen his name under a play identical copies of each item must be found. Only one iven at a leftish theatre. copy of each item had been entered as evidence. The court in turn decided that the state had failed to prove ntimations of Impure Journalism its case. Although there was predictably paranoid interpreta- ion by conservative columnists and editorialists of Computers: Admiration and Fear Vew York Times correspondent Harrison Salisbury’s At the Riverside Museum there was a demonstration •eports from Hanoi, the left-wing Worker's World sug­ of the IBM 7094 digital computer as a translator of gested that Salisbury and the Times had "some purpose music. The composer was Princeton professor J. K. >ther than pure journalism’’ in sending him to Hanoi, Randall, who said that his work could not realistically juch as a quest "for possibilities that can be further be performed by a human ensemble. He played a couple jxploited by the State Department. . . . of tapes. One resembled a conspiracy in a clock factory; "It would be foolish of the sympathizers of the revo- the other brought to mind a gang of mice bouncing on ution not to utilize the Salisbury reports to the fullest bedsprings. In a piece which illustrated the computer's for the benefit of the genuine anti-war movement. But ability as translator, the machine copied a violin solo the period of Salisbury’s ‘sympathetic’ articles seems with electronic music. When the demonstration was already to have passed now that he himself has passed over, the audience of 50 was confronted with a moment from Hanoi to Hong Kong.” of indecision: Do you applaud a computer? On the other hand, at the Anthroposophical Society— Copping Out Department whose members believe in that Omnipotent Computer The purpose of the meeting was to discuss how the in the Sky—an equal number of persons gathered to police department relates t<» a com m unity’s needs. Po­ hear Dr. G. Unger say that it ’s entirely up to man lice Commissioner Howard -ary was the guest. whether he allows his fellow man to become less valu­ A woman referred to those who prevent her from able than a computer. Someone asked, "When will walking certain Greenwich Village streets and in Wash­ America be taken over by computers?” He replied, "I ington Square Park. " I ’m forced to detour,” she said. would say it never will be— I have reason to believe "Can't these people be arrested for disorderly conduct that computers will not inherit the earth.” As if the or loitering?” home team had just won a round in a hockey match Leary pointed out that one has to file a complaint; whose outcome was uncertain, the audience applauded. this means getting involved; New Yorkers don ’t want to get involved; in 1965 nearly half of all parking Short Takes tickets w eren ’t paid because nobody wanted to get in­ • A lady at a meeting of the Association for Feeling volved. Truth and Living It told of her need for affection when her husband is out of town: "Sometimes I use a Does Intercourse Cause Cancer? substitute—the salt-shaker.” It was Youth Night in evangelist Billy Graham's • At the Ethical Culture Society, Dr. Brock Chisholm Canadian Crusade. He shouted that promiscuity is tin- was delivering a lecture titled Social Change: Implica­ cause of cancer "and 64% of all those who get cancer tions for Mental Health and Ethics. "Warfare no longer in that way, die—according to the Canadian Cancer is the answer,” he said. " I t ’s a pushing of the problem Society.” further into the future.” Just then, two adults in the However, psychotherapist Murray Cook told an audi­ back of the audience started an argument which ended ence of New York Humanists that h e’s done “8 years with one belting the other. of cancer research” and has found that heart attacks • An Italian restaurant in New York has one of those and cancer ("a form of suicide”) can be traced to sex city-required signs in its 2-by-4 bathroom: “Employ­ repression. Lately he has "intensively studied” prosti­ ees must wash hands before leaving toilet.” But there's tutes and he has come to the conclusion that to avoid no sink. cancer one should have sex a minimum of 8 times a • On the wall of a classroom at Fordham University day; the reas women live longer than men is that there is a poster which reads: "God is alive and well they have several orgasms to every one a man has. in South America. Says he needs money for a Jesuit Someone asked if the three climaxes should be at one center. . . .” "sitting” or spaced out through the day. • A reporter told me of a time he was at the World Caught somehow between Rev. Graham and Dr. Cook, Telegram & Sun and heard an assistant editor ask a a worried woman at a recent conference of the Spiritual senior editor, concerning the number of reported dead and Ethical Society wanted to know; "Can uterine in a fire: "The Journal American had 13. Can’t we cancer be caused by negative vigrations from the male make it 14?” partner?" • Graffito of the Month: "Hubert Humphrey lays cornerstones.” 12 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 13 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

MANCHESTER CAPER when you rub grief and ego together, logically (it was the mutual simultane­ Manchester settled into obsession and ous culmination of J a c k ie ’s and Lyn­ (Continued from Cover) wrote the book. Driven by that very d on ’s unconsciousnesses). What you have to do now is try and same spark, Jackie exercised her legal Garson gave me five pages, which I savor the reality of Jackie—the dove prerogative as if it were a subbom boiled down to one paragraph. in your kitchen w ho’d been replaced by stallion. I w ou ld ’ve had my manuscript ready Lady Bird, the hawk on your highway (Recently Pageant assigned me to for the printer on a Friday—when pre­ —Jackie, standing there in her mini­ hang around with Byron de la Beck­ sumably a linotype operator would sim­ skirt, saying: “Anyone who is against with—he was campaigning for the of­ ply have gone about his business of set­ me will look like a rat, unless I run off fice of Lt. Governor of Mississippi sole­ ting it—but there were a lot of inter­ with Eddie Fisher." ly on the unspoken basis that he had ruptions, and I ended up bringing it by Christ, I mean even Lyndon Johnson murdered Medgar Evers — but dc la on Saturday afternoon, when my print­ is against rats. Beckwith agreed to cooperate only if I er happened to be there without bene­ You have to see through J a ck ie ’s eyes would let him approve the article be­ fit of employees. this rodent named William Manchester, fore publication. This was of course Sec, I have this special kind of print­ sitting there biting his lip to pieces, out of the question, although I said he er. He had been going for his doctorate commiserating with himself on some could check it for factual errors. But in clinical psychology, but went into level about the ambivalent notion that th ere’s a difference between chronicling the printing business instead. An inde­ he is playing sloppy third to Theodore an individual you despise and a Presi­ pendent socialist intellectual, he more- White and Walter Lord, dangling be­ dent you revered. One can understand or-less specializes in printing civil tween the making of a President and an a u th o r’s willingness to become a rights, pacifist and radical periodicals the sinking of the Titanic. kept Manchester.) and leaflets. Driven by the spark which is created The controversy began to build. ' H e’s often disagreed with material in Bobby Kennedy was stuck in the mid­ the Realist. I once offered him the op­ dle. He privately abhors LBJ, but pub­ portunity typesetters had during an licly calls him g r e a t— “and I mean that early phase of the Cuban revolution— in every sense of the word,” he added. to state his disagreements in boldface One of B obby’s biographers-to-be, Jack type at the bottom of each column—but Newfield, who was in England at the he never took me up on it. time, sent him a postcard: “To thine (Only once did he object to actually own self be true." Replied RFK: “Out, printing something—an interview with damned spot." Dr. Albert Ellis which contained a The German magazine, Stem, serial­ small section dealing with the seman­ ized The Death of a President without tics of profanity. I had to bring in a Look’s omissions. I decided to publish note from my lawyer before he would the parts of the original manuscript set it in type. That issue d id n ’t go to which had been marked for deletion press until removal of the union bug, months before Harper & Row sold the an identifying label which union shops rights to Look. I would announce: “An are ordinarily proud to display. Since executive in the publishing industry, then, I ’ve never permitted the union who obviously must remain anonymous, bug to crawl on these pages again.) has made available to the Realist a A phone call woke me up on Sunday photostatic copy. . . ." morning. It was my printer. By the way, that was a lie. He tried to persuade me not to pub­ Not totally untrue, however. After lish the Manchester stuff. But I had al­ all, I am in the publishing industry, I ready done my soul-searching: any de­ am an executive—if being Ringleader cision to be made at this pont would is n ’t an executive position, what is?— and I did prefer to remain anonymous. have to be his. We agreed thut I’d have to seek another printer for that issue. The only thing was, I d id n ’t have a We were still on friendly terms. There^ photostatic copy of M anchester’s origi­ were old ties. I’d had dinner at his nal manuscript. home; I’d visited his wife in the hospi­ Well, I could hurdle that minor ob­ tal when she gave birth to their third stacle. child. At first, I planned to assign the piece On Sunday evening, his wife -now a to Dick Lingcman, who wrote the chap­ law student—called me to ask how I ter from Dean R u sk ’s memoirs, A would feel if Jackie Kennedy were to Thousand Nights, in issue #66. Then commit suicide because of what I pub­ I decided to do it myself, mother. I lished. started by studying Manchester's style On Monday morning my printer sug­ and improvising notes on some of the gested that I could be charged with in­ stories that White House correspon­ dents know to be true but which re­ citement to the assassination of Lyn­ mained unpublished. don Johnson. Meanwhile, Marvin Garson was turn­ His wife consulted her professor of ing on with a Newsweek reporter one constitutional law, and he agreed that night and got the idea for that infa­ even Supreme Court Justice Black mous scene of what must be spelled would finally be forced to draw tho line neckrophilia. When he told me about it, concerning freedom of the press. I knew—instinctively I knew—that in My printer asked me, “What do you context this was the perfect logicab- think is the worst thing th a ’. can hap­ surd conclusion of what I was working pen to you if you publish this?" lore Pornography of the Month on, both dramatically (it could be taken “I d on ’t know, I guess I can >c as­ Performs Caninelingus on Lady Bird literally or symbolically) and psycho­ sassinated.” 13 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 14 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

I d id n ’t expect it to happen, but Personally, I've written to Lloyds of damn close to the truth. Question: If th ere’s an interesting commentary that London in an attempt to insure the this story were true, would you return so many people did—dozens of whom veracity of the conclusion of the War­ your subscription to LBJ? If so, how? offered me places to hide out. ren Commission report, because I would . . . I eat my dinner watching TV news My printer assured me that I would certainly suffer great mental anguish of Vietnam atrocities. I doubt if I could automatically go to prison for criminal if my. faith in the fabric of American eat my dinner watching LBJ screw any libel. I have no desire to play the mar­ society were destroyed. corpse, let alone J F K ’s. . . tyr game, but the only alternative Anyway, I eventually got a printer, A London scholar wrote: “The body would have been not to publish. Be­ and the Realist went to press. Readers of JFK was supposedly in a casket. sides, somebody could always smuggle were furious. “This time y o u ’ve gone Therefore, short of lifting out the LSD into jail. too far!” Subscription cancellations corpse, an act of inverted para-fellatio (During the Free Speech M ovem ent’s poured in. Zip codes were included as would be physically impossible.” Oh, mass imprisonment, a Bible which had requested. yeah? Next time you see Arthur Schles- been soaked in an acid solution easily Margaret McCormack wrote a letter inger, ask him about LBJ hanging his made its way into the cells, and the to a friend: “Dear Mary, penis over the side of a boat, saying: students just ate those goddam pages “When you told me you were can­ “Watch it touch bottom!” right up, here getting high on Deuter­ celing your subscription to the Realist On the day that the Realist hit the onomy, there taking a trip on Exodus.) because of the Kennedy article, I of stands I was at Princeton to partici­ Who, I wondered, would be my cell­ course had to read it. ... I d on ’t cancel pate in their weekend Response pro­ mates? my subscription to the Chronicle be­ gram. Friday I was on a panel with A1 The man in Dallas who sells photo­ cause I read every day of the horror, Capp and George Reedy. Saturday I graphs of the sidewalk with a piece of the obscenities, the crimes committed was on a panel with Jonas Mekas and John F. K en n edy’s brain on it? Or the by LBJ. Why cannot I be shocked Evan (son of Norman) Thomas, who people who buy those photographs? Or enough to do something about re­ edited the book for Harper & Row. He maybe the TV interviewer who asked ality? . . . passed a note informing me: “The pas­ Marina Oswald if she d id n ’t feel ter­ “I had to be given an image upon sage you quote from Manchester was ribly guilty for depriving her husband which to dwell—a grisly image. That never in the manuscript.” of sexual relations on the night of No­ grisly image was wot burned children I asked how he could have seen the vember 21st, thereby causing him to in Vietnam, crying mothers, bombed Realist already. He told me their law­ sublimate the next day? villages or starving black kids in Oak­ yers had obtained a photostat of the In 9 years the Realist has been sued land—that image was LBJ fucking a galley proofs. I offered him a complete exactly once. I had called M. S. Arnoni, bullet hole in a corpse. copy of the new issue. He grimaced editor of the left-wing Minority of One, “Irony upon irony. The image pre­ and said “No, thanks.” a liar in print. He felt damaged to the sented (horrifying, obscene, shocking) I knew that Harper & Row had no extent of half a million dollars. There pictured an event that could, in reality, grounds on which to sue the Realist. was a trial and—truth being the only hurt no one. (Jackie probably d o esn ’t Nor did Look magazine, although their defense in such a case—the jury found read the Realist.) Masturbating a dead legal staff also discussed the possibility. for your humble defendant. corpse d o esn ’t really hurt anyone, but “Criminal fraud,” spouted editorial (Beat novelist Chandler Brossard napaiming kids, and hunger, hurts— chairman Gardner Cowles. threatened that he could bring suit and kills. It was extremely unlikely that Jackie when I printed that he had ghostwrit­ “And while Jackie may get pushed or Lyndon would bring suit, if only be­ ten Norman Vincent P e a le ’s prayer- out of shape over this article, Man­ cause they would have to concede that filled advice column for Look, but my c h e ste r ’s book or a thousand pulp mag­ what I published was believable. In­ source was an entrusted senior editor azines, she could try to use some of her deed, one of L B J’s favorite jokes is there.) influence with her rich Greek friends about a popular Texas sheriff running My printer begged me to consult a to get the Papandreous out of Greece for re-election. His opponents have lawyer. My attorney—Marty Scheiman, while they are still injured but alive— been trying unsuccessfully to think of an unheralded latterday Clarence Dar- “Anyway, what is horror? How a good campaign issue to use against row—had committed suicide a few would you try retelling the events of him. Finally one man suggests spread­ months previously, and I h adn ’t been what happened in Dallas and what has ing “a rumor that he fucks pigs.” An­ up to ‘replacing’ him. But now I sought happened since? It would be impossible other protests, "You know he d oesn ’t out a good constitutional lawyer, sent to retell it in such a way to make it do that.” “I know,” says the first man, him a copy of the manuscript, asked shocking. Okay, try satire. How in hell “but le t ’s make the sonofabitch deny it.” whether he thought I should publish it, does one make real horror a fantasy William Manchester was probably told him I’d publish it regardless of horror? How does one make absurdity the only one in a position to sue. Then what he thought, and asked if h e’d de­ absurd? Throw in your subscription, if came this phone call. fend me. He said yes. you will, perhaps on the fact that I had buzzed my scapegoat and One printer after another refused to Krassner didn't really go far enough! asked her to call Jim McGraw, a min­ print that issue of the Realist (#74). “Is it possible to shock if one remains ister friend who edits Renewal maga­ Even the printer who does the Commu­ in a frame of reference? If my mind zine. A photographer had given him a nist Worker turned down the job. can accept, then I am not shocked. shot of the ultimate graffito—God There was an AP dispatch datelined Would you believe such a story if this Sucks!—which he cou ld n ’t use but Bulgaria which stated: “The legal has­ were written in 194G by some enterpris­ passed on to me. Now the scapegoat sle surrounding the serialization and ing journalist w ho’d discovered a buzzed me back, which would ordinar­ the efforts of the Kennedy family to friend of Eva B rau n ’s describing a ily indicate that McGraw was on the trim some parts [of the book] are pre­ homey scene with Adolph and his bud­ line. sented by Communist Party propagan­ dies? Throw in a dead Nazi rival and I picked up the phone and said dists as evidence supporting the theory Goerring and i t ’s Sunday supplement “Hollo.” A strange voice on the other that President John F. Kennedy was stuff. end said “Mr. Krassner?” I said, “Yes the victim of a conspiracy.’’ But to “So—now I have two disturbing —would you hold on just a second, impute this particular printer with in­ thoughts: one— I'm not shocked by the please?” 1 buzzed my scapegoat again: consistency would be to imply guilt by real thing, I have to be shocked by sex; “Sheila, what happened, d id n ’t you get association. and two—the whole fantasy is too Jim McGraw?” 14 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 15 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

"Oh, I'm sorry, I picked up to get a "I really respect you. Why did your “One of the filthiest printed attacks dial tone and—the phone hadn't even attorneys tell you not to call me?” ever made on a President of the United rung— Paul, it's Manchester!" " I ’ll find that out in ten minutes." States is now for sale on Washington I braced myself. Thinking it had been "Give ’em my regards. I’m not mak­ newsstands. The target: President McGraw, instead of saying “Hello," I'd ing any actual commitment, but I ap­ Johnson. This is the May edition of a almost said "God sucks!" Manchester preciate your man-to-man confronta­ so-called magazine which says it is en­ would've been convinced I was some tion, and I really will consider. . . .” tered as second class mail. One news­ sort of pervert. " I ’ll be looking forward to your next stand owner says sales of this particu­ I picked up the phone again. " I ’m issue.” lar issue have been ‘quite active.’ back.” "So will I. Goodbye.” “This reporter is not embarked here "This is Bill Manchester.” (He d id n ’t "Goodbye.” on any defense of Johnson politically or personally, nor, for that matter, is say William. If this is a put-on, i t ’s The most significant thing about The very subtle.) Parts That Were Left Out of the Ken­ this to suggest the need for greater respect for the presidency. These are "Yessir.” nedy Book was the variety of reactions "My attorneys told me not to call, to it—especially the credibility of the matters that have been dealt with ex­ but I wanted to talk to you.” I recog­ incredible by intelligent, literate peo­ tensively in other forums. nized his voice, slightly shaky, from ple ranging from an ACLU lawyer to "Certain unadorned facts, however, radio-TV newscasts. a Peabody Award-winning newsman. do stand out in the open circulation, mailing and other forms of distribution "Well, here I am.” I insisted that those who called would of this sort of slime: "Let me ask, did you talk to any of have to decide for themselves if we had "If a magazine of major national my people?” published an authentic document. One standing tries to use the same sort of "Only to Evan Thomas, but that was man said he could determine its truth or falsity by feeding the article into a language, federal action to stop it after the fact.” would be almost certan. "Look, the late President meant a computer, which would tell him wheth­ er or not it was Manchester's work. "The language referred to is not con­ great deal to m e.” ventional hell or damn profanity—it " I ’m aware of that. We all show our Antiquarian Bookman described the piece as “Definitely, a collector’s item.” is filth attributed to someone of na­ loss in different ways.” tional stature supposedly describing Library Journal — in its Magazines “I know you didn't write that article. something Johnson allegedly did. The section, edited by Bill Katz, professor I ’ve read the Realist before and I know incident, of course, never took place. y ou ’re a moral man.” of Library Science at the State Uni­ versity of N.Y.—called the Realist “the "If a citizen printed some of the “It ’s irrelevant whether I wrote it same words on a placard without refer­ or not, because it was my decision to best satirical magazine now being pub­ lished in America. This is not for the ence to any individual, and strolled the publish it, so the moral responsibility streets of any American city with the is mine.” unfortunate who felt salacious thrills from Robert Lowell's latest poems or placard in plain view, he would be ar­ “Th a t’s true. But what was the pur­ got poignant, pornographic kicks from rested the instant he passed the first pose?” Kazan's best-seller. It is for the vigor­ police officer. "To satirize certain things about the ous mind, for the individualist who "If a newspaper printed these words, assassination, its aftermath, the hypoc­ does not live in constant fear of the there would be public outcry and pos­ risy, the exploitation, the hypocrisy, existing order. More properly, it is for sible criminal action, to say nothing of the quest for power.” the reader who is a witness to the basic lost circulation. If such words, phrases "Was it necessary to include that in­ goodness and humor of man. . . . and manufactured anecdotes were troduction?” “This y e a r ’s May issue is typical. A voiced on radio or television, the spon­ “Well, I had to establish verisimili­ lead item features short sections alleg­ sors would depart as the police walked tude. When Jonathan Swift wrote his edly left out of the Manchester book— in. Modest Proposal, he didn't say, ‘Hey, and no wonder, at least if this is on the “The publication referred to is not folks, I’m only kidding, I don ’t really up and up. One can never be quite cer­ an entirely isolated incident. Similar mean that we can solve both the fam­ tain how much of the revealing jour­ material reflecting what seems to be ine and overpopulation problems by nalism is K ra ssn er’s imagination, and senseless hatred and utterly fabricated eating newborn babies.' It w ou ld n ’t how much is plain fact. . . . The only incidents has been showing up in other have had the same impact.” sick part about the whole thing is the sections of the country. "T h a t’s very abstract.” Realist's limited circulation in libraries. "Somewhat related material has ap­ "Okay, let me give you a more con­ I would be fascinated to know which peared on signs at so-called anti-war temporary example. I published an libraries take it, and how it is handled: demonstrations or new native rites of obituary of Lenny Bruce two years open shelves, or hidden in the bottom freedom in which the participants ask before he died. It was the best vehicle drawer of the librarian's desk?” such things as liberation from oppres­ for the things I wanted to communi­ The Acquisitions Librarian at Texas sive drug laws, tuition payments, rent, cate.” Southern University returned the May the draft and little technicalities such "I know he was a friend of yours. issue. “Please cancel this subscription as marriage laws. I ’ve just read his autobiography.” —our library does not subscribe to por­ “This sort of thing makes the truly "Well, I edited the book, and he ask­ nographic material.” concerned and serious opponents of the ed me to include th at.” A reader in Mackinac Island, Michi­ Vietnam war look bad by association. "Look, your readers are mostly in­ gan “went out and bought the original It poses undeserved shadows over en­ telligent, literate people, correct?” Death of a President just to see if your tirely legal and deeply sincere civil "I suppose so.” parts would fit into the book—they did. rights protests. To say nothing of se­ '‘Th ey ’ll know that what you pub­ Amazing!” riously damaging the legitimate right lished isn ’t true. But other people are The issue was removed from news­ to political dissent.” going to pick up this issue and they stands in Cambridge, and when Dig­ Will Jones, columnist for the Minne­ might believe it.” gers tried to give copies out free at a apolis Tribune, wrote: “And then what? Then what?” Boston love-in, police confiscated them. "The excerpts that the Realist prints "Are you working on your next issue Merriman (“Thank you, Mr. Presi­ are logical extensions of the British yet? Could you mention something to d en t”) Smith wrote in his UPI-syndi- reviewers’ complaint that Manchester the effect—I know I sh ou ld n ’t ask—” cated feature: is a pornographer who traffics in the Jiint 1967 15 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT T h e REALIST Issu e N um ber 75 - June, 1967 - P a g e 16 scan s of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

grief of the great; they are as funny A man sputtering with anger called In Hollywood, an attorney made sev­ as they arc outrageous. The trouble up Lee Leonard on NBC radio and eral wagers with friends about the ar­ that Paul Krassner is likely to have swore he would make a c itiz e n ’s arrest ticle. He wrote to Manchester, who re­ created for himself by publishing this of me. plied: “The material in the Realist, as conceit is hard to predict. . . . The documents researcher for the described to me by my attorney, is pure “What is likely to be overlooked in award-winning Miami radio show, the fabrication and was never in my manu­ all the fuss is that, while the Kennedys Lee Vogel Open Phone Forum, wrote to script.” and LBJ are the subject matter of the ascertain if “the excerpts actually 1 couldn't understand why Manches­ piece, the real targets are William come from the Manchester manuscript, ter was now implying that he hadn't Manchester’s style, and the people who as claimed, or is this another of your read the issue himself. I wrote a letter, dig William Manchester’s style, which tongue-in-cheek satires?” and “Do we reminding him of our talk. these days seem to include most of us. have permission to publicize your ar­ On July 8th, he wrote a note to me And which makes the Krassner assault ticle . . . short of actually reading the which he mailed on July 14th: “You technique all the more outrageous.” text of the article verbatim?” and I never held a telephone conversa­ Jack O ’Brian , professional gossip for I got a long-distance call from Joe tion. Indeed, I believe that such a con­ the late World-Journal-Tribune, itemed: Dolan, a San Francisco radio personal­ versation would have been impossible. “Cover story of one of those recklessly ity, who asked me on the air to confirm My telephone number is unpublished irresponsible off-civilization publica­ his belief that it was a “literary for­ and is used for personal purposes, and tions has a so-called censored excerpt gery.” When I refused, he went into until today I did not know your num­ from the Manchester book that defies such a rampage that I could feel the ber. Of course, I would never have even abnormal imagination.” A week veins in his neck bulging from 3000 called you.” later he asked: “Ha sn ’t the Post Office miles away. Finally he shouted, “Why I ’ve played the tape over and over. held up a minor weekly because of its did you publish it!” I answered calm­ There are these possibilities: (1) Man­ incredibly ugly assault on LBJ, Man­ ly, “To separate the men from the chester didn't call me, but someone did chester and others, claimed as a reprint boys.” He hung up. a masterful job of method acting; (2) of something censored out of Manches­ It was on D ola n ’s show that Mark Manchester did call me, but h e’s schizo­ te r ’s JFK assassination book?” Lane told how he had been on the same phrenic and has blocked it out of his A close friend of Manchester vowed London TV program on which Gore consciousness; (3) Manchester did call to work very hard to cost the Realist Vidal described an incident that had me, but he d o esn ’t want anybody to its second class mailing privilege. been deleted from the text of the then- know. Time, Newsweek, the N.Y. Times and unpublished Manchester book—but in­ I believe the third possibility. There­ UPI called me to find out if the post cluded in the Realist’s excerpts from fore i t ’s true. That same principle ap­ office had refused to mail the issue. the original manuscript— that Jackie plied to the Realist’s whole Manchester Someone asked Manchester if he Kennedy, during the transfer of her caper. If you believed, it was true. If wrote the stuff in the Realist. He just husband's body, had moved to the rear you didn't, it wasn't. Or, as one reader grinned. of the plane where she saw LBJ lean­ said, “It d o esn ’t make any difference Ralph Ginzburg and George Lincoln ing over the casket and chuckling. whether it ’s true or not, because th a t’s Rockwell called on the same day to ask In our version, Jackie “corroborated really where th ey ’re at.” if what we had published was factual. Gore V id a l’s story, continuing. . . .” The ultimate target of satire should “You got balls of steel,” Rockwell told Consequently, I received a call from !>e its own audience. mo. “For a Jew you shoulda been a Ray Marcus, critic of the Warren Com­ Analogy: Several years ago there Nazi.” mission report, who had figured out was a French-&-Italian film, Seven I thanked him for the compliment that the article in the Realist must Deadly Sins, consisting of seven vig­ and d id n ’t bother to get into a discus­ have been given to m eby a CIA plant nettes, one for each sin—greed, lust, sion as to why I d on ’t consider myself in order to discredit valid dissent con­ avarice, pride, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful Jewish. cerning the assassination, because how, —and at the end of the seventh sin, the New American Library called to de­ chronologically, could Manchester leave narrator told us that we were going to termine if the rumor was true that something out of his book which was a see the eighth sin. On the screen were Terry Southern had written the thing report of something that h e’d left out all the images that we have been con­ in the Realist. I explained that Terry of his book? ditioned to associate with intimations w ou ld’ve told them if he had, since An individual decided to start a peti­ of sin—sailors, girls, an opium den— and then the narrator explained that they arc publishing a collection of his tion to put the Realist out of business. short pieces. I asked for one so I could sign it too. the eighth sin was the desire to see sin. The audience groaned its disappoint­ Several curious persons wrote to the A lady lawyer complained to the lo­ final arbiter of truth to find out—the ment with a spontaneity that served cal precinct, and a police lieutenant only to underscore the n a r r a to r ’s point. Playboy Adviser. visited my office. I explained the con­ Look magazine ordered 200 extra cept of obscenity. He agreed that the So, a reader sees the headline on that copies of the Realist, but when an em­ Realist h ad n ’t violated any laws, but issue of the Realist and says: “The ployee at Harper & Row tacked the is­ asked me off the record if I d id n ’t think parts that were left out of the Kennedy sue onto a bulletin board, he was fired, editors should have some standards. I book. Oh, boy!" Then reads it. Volun­ then suspended for four weeks without replied thnt everybody has standards, tarily. Ar.d says: “The parts that were Pay. even the H e ll’s Angels. He asked me left out of the Kennedy book. Arrrggh!” An editor at Holiday magazine what magazine they publish. What did you expect? threatened to beat me up. A week later, he and a fellow officer What did you want? Bob Scheer, managing editor of came in and asked for copies of the Whether my motivation—to share this Ramparts, complaned that I had de­ issue. Thumbing through it, one laugh­ outrngeous apocrypha with you—stem­ stroyed faith in the veracity of the ed and remarked, “Th a t’s a pisser.” med from hostility or affection, is as Realist so that articles like the CIA That same afternoon, a pair of ser­ much a matter of subjective interpreta­ involvement in the murder of Malcolm geants came in and asked for copies. tion as was Jackie K enn edy’s projec­ X (issue #73) would no longer be The next week the captain of the pre­ tion of what Lyndon Johnson did to her taken seriously; editor Warren Hinckle cinct stopped me on the street and husband's corpse on that flight from sent a telegram reading: brilliant asked when the June issue would be Dallas. For all we know, it might have dirty ISSUE. out. been an act of love. 16 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 17 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75

BLOW-UP AND OTHER THINGS side.’ Now Muhammad Afi is saying, ‘We’re on G od ’s side.’ ” (Continued from Cover) I’m past draft-age, but I ’ve signed a public statement kept telling: hippies to keep off the grass, on the same —along with Norma Becker, Dave Dellinger, Paul field where football is played—wow, if only hippies Goodman, Dwight Macdonald, David McReynolds, Grace would keep off the grass the war would be over—and Paley and many others—addressed to draft-eligibles, in New York, where a young man, wandering around declaring that “we have conspired with you in the Sheep's Meadow in Central Park with a loaf of whole burning of your draft cards, we shall continue to do so, grain bread, looking for lean and hungries to share it and we shall aid and abet others. We encourage you in with, was approached by someone with an American this act and honor you for it. We are willing to share flag in one hand—“Would you hold this?” he asked— with you the risk of arrest, fine and imprisonment.” and a can of lighter fluid in the other. If you wish to become a signatory, write to Support- Some fleeting considerations go through the bread- in-Action, 252 W. 91 St., New York 10024. Young men b e a r e r ’s mind: After all, what is burning a flag com­ all over the country are pledging to return their draft pared to burning thousands of people? U.S. government cards to their local boards, or for those yet unregis­ vs. life; law and order vs. freedom; power vs. human­ tered, letters stating refusal to register, October 16. ity ; symbols vs. flesh. All right, brother, light it up. Girl peaceniks will also write to their local boards, This destruction of a symbol became the inspiration telling Selective Service that they w on ’t register or co­ for a pro-war march on May 13. Ironically, the Ameri­ operate in any way with the draft process, then simply can flags carried by the flower children in that parade sign their first initial and last name. were torn to pieces by patriotic hawks, along with A week after the pro-war parade and the Evening puching, stomping, and the spontaneous tarring-and- with God, Armed Forces Day is due. It has been desig­ feathering of a bypasser who was guilty of needing a nated Flower Power Day by the Workshop in Non- haircut. They were just Doing their Thing, that's all, Violence: “Zap the military with love. . . . Blow their only their Thing happens to be tarring-and-feathering. minds, not their bodies.” That night there is An Evening with God at the Vil­ One guy offers to donate 1,000 paper airplanes, but lage Theatre— in celebration of the Pentecost—with the idea is vetoed because it would mean littering. An­ Dick Gregory, Tim Leary, Malcolm Boyd, Harvey Cox, other suggestion: Chain male and female sit-downers Len Chandler and myself (“speaking of the devil,” together: "According to a New York City regulation, adds the poster). I’m the token non-believer. men and women ca n ’t be put in the same paddy-wagon, I recall Yale Chaplain William Sloane Coffin's plea so the cops would have to march us down 5th Avenue.” to ministers and seminary students to flood the jails, Someone suggests giving out food: On the April 15 committing massive civil disobedience by relinquishing march, Chinese fortune cookies were distributed (You their automatic deferments and declaring themselves are going to meet a sad defeat, but be the better for it). conscientious objectors. I'd written to him so I could Perhaps psychedelichicks can spring ecstatically from report to the audience on the status of that project. the spectators and put flowers into rifle barrels. Rev. Coffin replied: “Th a t’s quite a gang assembled But this planning was all before the civilian brutality with God. I think the dramatis per> nae must be quite of the previous week. Now w e’re scared. pleasing in His sight, and I wish could be there. The discussion continues 3 days later in Central Park. We still d on ’t know what to do. Abbie Hoffman “The seminary students are going back and forth on this one, as are so many other students. A weeekend points out that w e’re huddled together like in a ghetto, afraid to watch a parade. We decide to confront it. conference at Harvard is being held to discuss the pos­ sibilities. One of the problems is that you ca n ’t declare A police captain tells Alan Solomonow h e’ll have to yourself a conscientious objector to this war in that the give him a summons for holding a meeting without a draft board determines your category. permit. “We’re merely holding a conversation, officer. And “As long as you are 4-D they d o n ’t care if y o u ’re a why are you singling me out?” C.O., 4-F, or anything else. This may mean that eventu­ “You seem to be leading the meeting.” ally you have to separate yourself from your draft I tap the policeman on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir, card, which means you get prosecuted not for being a but / was leading that meeting. Y ou ’d better give me a C.O. to'this war but for being separated from your summons, too.” I look around. “Who else was leading draft card. The dilemma has caused hundreds of them the meeting?” to sign an open letter to McNamara which may be open Hands go up. “I was.” More hands. “I was.” “I was.” before you receive this. About 50 people were leading the meeting. “The other basic problem of civil disobedience is sim­ The cop says, “I’m not gonna give you a summons, ply that those engaged in it tend not to communicate but the next, time you hold a meeting—” with the public at large. The monk turns himself into “You mean,” I interject, “the next time we d o n ’t a burning signpost pointing at the war, but most Amer­ holding a meeting-r-” icans instead of reassessing the war simply reassess “You ’d better have a permit.” him. “I’m sorry, officer, we ca n ’t continue this meeting “You're the realist, so you tell us! Once again I am with you any longer without a permit.” sorry not to be on hand for the evening and do wish And then pacifists and hippies head for an unknown you all the best of luck.” happening, followed by a division of police. We pass the I decide to burn one of my draft cards (I have sev­ statue of Alice in Wonderland and all her friends play­ eral) at the Evening with God. “I stand before you as ing around a giant mushroom. We romp over it, some an atheist, doing what men of the cloth should be doing. remaining to give flowers to the Mad Hatter. The cops A couple of decades ago, Joe Louis said, ‘God is on our order, us off. They surround Alice as if th e y ’re guarding June 1967 17 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 18 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

a fortress. An LIU junior asks, “Isn't this statue here “It scans beautiful,” answers Wiener. "But you really to climb on?” A cop grabs him by the arm, pulls him ought to see it, Herman. You're in it.” off and inquires, “Do you think the law ’s for everyone “Why? I saw Dr. Strangelove. I was in that.” but you?” The War Game was originally produced as a BBC The kid gets a summons for climbing a statue with­ documentary about what could happen if nuclear war­ out a permit. Later, another charge is added: failing to fare were waged on England, but it was felt to be too obey an officer. At the trial, a judge finds him not strong for TV. Director Peter Watkins resigned in pro­ guilty on both counts, entering into evidence the de­ test, the movie was presented instead at regular theat­ fen d a n t’s snapshots of adults and children sitting on rical showings, and members of the press were invited the statue. to judge for themselves. Return to the scene of the crime and you ’ll find Love “It may be the most important film ever made,” written on the mushroom. Holden Caulfield is grown wrote Kenneth Tynan in The Observer. “We are always up now and he finds that more offensive than Fuck you. being told that works of art cannot change the course The Armed Forces parade begins down 5th Avenue. of history. I believe this one might. . . .” Marines march by; we chant “Get a girl, not a gun.” Unfortunately, th at's dopey bullshit nonsense. Sailors march by; we sing Yellow Submarine. Green Herman Kahn had a request. He wanted a nice tour berets march by; we shout “Thou shalt not kill!” The of the lower east side. I was pleased to oblige. Red Cross marches by; we applaud. A missile rolls by; we call out "Shame!” Military cadets ride by on horse­ In a button store, he gets a poster : Chicken Little back; we advise “Drop out now!” The Dept, of Sani­ Was Right. tation sweeps past; we cheer. I tell him the CIA is running opium dens around A flurry of violence; we scream “Police!” A pro-war Cambodia. He isn ’t surprised, because they smoke dope nut is swinging a sandbag that narrowly misses my and show affection with equal openness. In his capacity stomach. He gets arrested. as a human think-tank, he was present when a Laotian “Impeach Cardinal Westmoreland,” someone yells. general was briefing John F. Kennedy. “The trouble “Bring back General Spellman,” someone responds. with your people,” complained the exasperated Presi­ dent, “is that th ey ’d rather fuck than fight.” Replied That same weekend in Washington, Vietnam Summer the general: “Wouldn’t you?” turns rancid. Brad L y ttle’s motion to go on record as K ahn’s point of view is that of the creator of an encouraging draft resistance is voted down. (Chief opponent Fred Halstead claims it ’s not an effective objective scenario, out of which come pronouncements. Example: The hippy dropout syndrome is delaying the tactic—what is?—he will be the Socialist Workers Par­ ty ’68 presidential candidate.) A resolution is passed, guaranteed annual wage. however, to support the anti-draft movement in Puerto We 8top in a book store. On the way out, I say, “I’ll Rico. show you the books I bought if y ou ’ll show me the books Memorial Day follows logically upon the heels of you bought.” Armed Forces Day. Tompkins Square Park becomes the “You know, when I was 3 years old, I said to a little scene of an Event wherein officers of the law lose their girl, 'I’ll show you mine if you ’ll show me you rs’—and cool and beat upon the hippies’ hairy heads with their she wouldn’t do it—now you ’ll print that because I was nasty nightsticks. I t ’s easier for a cop to identify with frustrated as a child I want to blow up the world.” the M afia's motivations than those of an unorganized His purchases: poetry by Allen Ginsberg; something cult whose patron saint seems to be Ferdinand the Bull. on Russian economics; a John Hersey novel; short An ABC-TV crew comes the next day to interview the stories by Isaac Singer ; LSD & problem-solving. hippies on the same grass they were arrested for sit­ As David Hemmings says to Vanessa Redgrave in ting on. Curious Negro and Puerto Rican kids hang the park, so Herman Kahn says to mankind at large: around. A TV man tells them to go away. The hippies “It ’s not my fault if th ere’s no peace.” tell them to stay. The TV man warns them to go away In a civilization where scientists at Pennsylvania or h e’ll call a cop. Hippies: “Jt’s their park too,” TV State University under government research grants can man: “What, are you guys trying to manage the news?” still seriously promulgate fallout shelter programs, you The question of news management is implicit in don ’t have to be a working paranoid to entertain justi­ Blow-Up. David Hemmings—a nameless photographer fiable suspicions about the LSD/chromosome-damage —takes pictures in a park of Vanessa Redgrave—a alarm campaign. nameless subject—caught in the middle of a tryst with Dr. Samuel Irwin, professor of Pharmacology in the a nameless man, the victim of a murder arranged by Dept, of Psychiatry at the University of Oregon Medi­ Hemmings’ imagination, which is beside the immediate cal School, is one of the two-man team investigating ethical point of whether publishing such a photo would cell damage in LSD users. He deplores the sensational be an invasion of her privacy or not-publishing it would publicity, particularly in regard to deformed babies, be allowing sentimentality to interfere with profes­ calling the Saturday Evening Post article “a complete sionalism. distortion” and “an atrocity.” “I’m a photographer,” he tells her. “I’m only doing Two separate studies of LSD users in the Haight- my job.” Ashbury area show no damage to chromosomes. Dr. Herman Kahn—director of the Hudson Institute, au­ Eugene Schoenfeld — medical advisor to the under­ thor of On Thermonuclear War and Thinking About ground press—states: “The researchers for one of these the Unthinkable—is the dispassionate extension of studies has had some difficulty publishing these results David Hemmings. He is the personification of The War although their research methods and credentials are Game . . . a film he hasn't seen. His assistant, Tony unimpeachable. The second study was only recently Wiener, recommends it to him. completed. . . . One doubts that the results of these “How does it scan?” asks Kahn. studies finding no chromosome damage 'amongst LSD 18 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 19 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

users will be so prominently featured in the news me­ get laid? Are they really fraternity brothers in hippy dia." clothing? W e’re all one, a ren ’t we? Substitute highs attempted to fill the panic-.gap. The difference is one of philosophy. It's the difference The Food & Drug Administration utilized laboratory between advertising a soft drink with a slogan—“The apparatus which “smoked" dried banana peels for more Now Taste of Tab"—and seeking on e’s pleasure with than 3 weeks and, according to their press release, Alan Watts’ awareness of our position as “insignifi­ “never did get high.” How can a goddam machine get cant germs on a minute ball of rock, attached to a high? minor star on the outer fringe of one of the smaller galaxies." While it was the East Village Other that pushed rot­ Of course, if you happen to be balling a cute pair of ten green pepper as a hallucinogenic if it is_ properly teenyboppers like in Blow-Up the glands are way ahead smoked by means of a regular cigarette, when push of the philosophy.- came to shove it was the L.A. Free Press that pro­ Moreover it ’s possible that many hippies indulge in moted pickled japaleno pepper, which is anally in­ mysticism because they have enough of a puritan hang­ serted. All over southern California, heads were stick­ over that they can ’t accept pleasure on its own terms, ing vegetables up their asses. And in Washington, the they have to rationalize it with spirituality. FDA office looked like a grocery store specializing in peppers—testing, 1, 2, 3. Artifical anus, anyone? In Chicago, a bookstore owner and my distributor had been charged with selling and distributing obscene In San Francisco, I had done a benefit for the Dig­ material. Specifically, the complaint was about the Dis­ gers, and mentioned in passing that after STP the neyland Memorial Orgy—a two-page center-spread in next drug would be FDA; sure enough, Time magazine issue #74, which has since been enlarged into a wall reported that there would be “a super-hallucinogen poster—but Chicago reporters tell me that the charge called FDA." is actually a smokescreen attack on the Realist for pub­ At the request of post-graduate Students for a Dem­ lishing the Manchester stuff, and that the Catholic ocratic Society, I arranged for a few west coast leading church there is most likely behind it. Digger non-leaders to come to Delton, Michigan for In Baltimore, the Sherman News Agency sold that the SDS “Back to the Drawing Board" conference. issue with pages 11-14 missing. One employee said that It was a confrontation of the talkers and the doers. the Maryland Board of Censors had ordered this—that The Diggers were so disruptive that old-timers were it was the only way the Realist could be sold in that convinced—and so stated—that the CIA was behind state—but there is no Maryland Board of Censors. it all. But what else could you expect from a Commu­ Sh erm an ’s had taken what they considered a precau­ nist who owns his own factory? He compensates for his tion. W e’ve secured the missing pages, and any Balti­ proletarian guilt by remaining pro-union. more reader who bought a partial issue can send us a SDSers were upset that the Diggers have been known stamped-addressed envelope, any size, and w e’ll send to steal food. They were not so upset that they were the rest of that issue. themselves unable to steal the notes of the Washington In Oakland, some mysterious individual or group put Post reporter at the conference. out a flyer, with the Realist logotype on top, reproduc­ Later that night, female SDSers agreed with Diggers ing a few parts of the Disneyland spread along with about the injustice of property rights, but balked at the last four paragraphs of the parts that were left out sleeping with them only because their husbands might of the Kennedy book—added, “Now on Sale at Dc- object. Lauer's Book Store, ‘Your East Bay Family News and Could it be that the Diggers are just using love to Book Store’ ”—and handed it out in churches and else­ where. The police would have moved in for an arrest had it not been for my west coast distributor, Lou Swift—a rare combination of courage and kindness— who asked them not to act until they got a complete issue and could see the material in context. Theoretically the charges in Chicago can ’t stick. The cartoon spread d o esn ’t arouse prurient interest—can you imagine a prosecutor telling a jury how they might get horny because look what Goofy and Minnie Mouse are doing?—and even if it did arouse prurience, the rest of the Realist is certainly not utterly without re­ deeming social value. On July 10th, however, a judge found issue #74 “to be obscene.” The charge against the distributor was dismissed, based on his lack of knowledge of the ob­ scene contents. The ACLU is seeking a federal injunc­ tion restraining authorities from nterfering in any way with local distribution of the calist; other deal­ ers were afraid to sell that issu- and in fact were United Arab Republic President Gamal Abdel Nasser is warned by police not to. a man who likes to keep in touch with the people, and if he ca n ’t be there in person, he sends a bust as a substitute. I go on a late-night Chicago iv. !iq program so the These rows of Nasser statues were destined to decorate a police can arrest me too if they wi. n. Unlike the book­ new artists’ village near Cairo. Apparently there would be seller and distributor, I would plea . not guilty. Noth­ an image of Nasser on every street corner. ing happens, except that .. \.h- is listening to h- ■ June 1967 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 20 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

car radio has pulled over to the side of the road, and shorts. And another shave to worry about. The scariest, a policeman questions her. “I thought you were a pros­ most sensitive of all.”) titute,” he explains, “here for the Furniture Show.” Some of the hippies start necking. People don ’t know If only the hippy influx to Haight-Ashbury were whether to watch the screen or the audience. The able to transcend the sexual revolution and the chicks Realist Nlm unzips my fly and starts fondling my geni­ would charge money for their enjoyment, the mayor of tals. That is to say. she begins to Do my Thing. That San Francisco might extend the welcome mat to them phrase has always had a masturbatory ring to it, any­ as if they were conventioneers. way. Do your Thing. Okay, I ’ll Do your Thing if you The North Beach Movie was featuring a film about Do my Thing. a nude hippy orgy—Psychedelic Sexualis—"No plots to Even the hippies’ minds are blown. They thought she wear you out! No mysteries to make you nervous! No was a real nun. symbolism to frustrate you! Not recommended for At the Summer Solstice celebration in San Francis­ prudes, persons who are embarrassed easily or devo­ c o ’s Golden Gate Park, the same hippies who implored tees of serious Art Cinema in the tradition of Bergman, the sun to come out at 5 a.m. would ridicule Lyndon Fellini and Antonioni.” Joh n son ’s call for a national day of prayer (there was We called up the theatre and the manager agreed to more rioting, however, because Rap Brown called for let in a bunch of hippies free, to see what their reaction counter-prayer). Although these hippies have given up would be for possible publicity purposes. I invited the trying to influence the administration, th ey ’re still Realist Nun to acompany me. trying to influence the universe. Paul von Blum, an instructor at Golden Gate College, Two days later, on June 23rd, LBJ is due in Los included in his final exam for a class in Political Science Angeles for a $l,000-a-plate dinner at the Century Plaza this question: “Paul Krassner, editor of the Realist, Hotel. With 14,999 other protestors, I march that after­ knows a former prostitute who happens to own a nun’s noon. A public address system lies to us, claiming that costume. She has joined the staff of the magazine and w e’re assembling unlawfully. Then, “In the name of the is known as the Realist Nun. Each month she will be­ people of the state of California, I order you to dis­ come involved in some adventure—in uniform—and re­ perse.” port her findings in the Realist. Discuss the following The demonstrators answer in unison: “We are the report of her adventures [reprinted from issue #74], people! We are the people!” particularly in terms of some of the ideas we discussed The p.a. system: “You are not the people! You are in our class when we dealt with the role of symbols and not the people!” images.” And, while Lyndon is inside innocently giving the Only recently the Realist Nun performed an abortion Supremes a standing ovation, 1500 police who for 3 —a skill mastered during her days as a hooker—while weeks have been primed for a riot go ahead and start wearing her nun’s outfit, an authentic habit, from one (they get the Berkeley Barb by mail). Mammy Yokum button-up shoes to hip rimless granny Great moments in violence. . . . glasses, save for a button under the collar reading One woman, being clubbed by the cops, screams: Chastity Is Its Own Punishment. The desperate girl “Help—police!” thanked her for this act of Christian charity. Though the sadism may have seemed random, it was (Governor Reagan has signed a bill that would per­ definitely goal-oriented. Just as U.S. bombing of the mit abortions in cases of rape where the victim was 14 Quanh Lap leper colony 15 times in 5 days was calcu­ or younger. If y ou ’re going to San Francisco, wear lated to terrorize the Vietnamese, the L.A. Keystone flowers in your hair, but if you plan to be raped there Tragedy Cops had their task—to get all those people without benefit of contraception, be sure you haven’t the hell out of there because th ere’s just too many of reached your 15th birthday.) ’em to arrest—and, not bloodied heads, but the sight With about 18 Diggers and hippies—me looking like of bloodied heads, was precisely a means to that end. a H ell’s Angel reject, with the Realist Nun on my arm The more repression of open protest, the more clan­ —we depart for the theatre. She smiles at everyone destine activity there will be. who stares. A nun going to see Psychedelic Sexualis? Demolitions experts in Long Beach conducted a stem (According to an AP dispatch, 39 postulants to an to stern search of an Army cargo ship loaded with order of Catholic nuns will take lessons in charm from napalm after a phone tip that a time bomb was aboard. stewardess trainers. Arrangements for a short course The Linfield Victory, carrying more than 1,000 tons of at the Dubuque Motherhouse of the Sisters of Charity napalm—destination Vietnam—was towed to a remote of the Blessed Virgin Mary have been made with the part of the harbor after the call to city police. women who train hostesses for Continental Airlines.) Norris Industries Inc. in Vernon, California, manu­ The film is exploitative and pandering. No actual facturer of bombs and bomb components, has received screwing can be seen. But, my God, they're showing about 40 bomb threats during the past year. pubic hair! Look at that—pubic hair! The hippies Another bomb-maker has experienced numerous in­ cheer. The usher ask.-: us to be quiet so that people can cidents of sabotage, from rags being stuffed into a enjoy the orgy. compressor to pennies being put in tanks of acid solu­ (The Gillette Scaredy Kit—a tote bag containing tion used to clean ordnance products (the copper in Lady Gillette razor •■..id shaving products—has been the pennies changes the chemical makeup of the solu­ advertised this su: .ner in Mademoiselle, Glamour, tion, rendering it useless). Ingenue, Teen and ' S*. ->/ for “the bathing suit At the Chamberlin Manufacturing Corp in Chicago, shave, the most sens ve shave of ail. You think shav­ absentee rates are running as high as 25% among ing your legs and underarms is a big nuisance? Wel­ workers at its ammunition plant which produces mor­ come to summer. With skimpy bathing suits and short tar shells and cartridge cases for Vietnam. 20 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 21 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/75

Escape to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. an answer. I’m telling you what they think. This is like I go with some friends, including Jay Thompson, a when Freud addressed the Vienna Medical Society, he photographer. Naturally, he brings his camera. We told them what he heard people say on the couch, and see a girl lying on the grass like Sleeping Beauty and, they all said ‘No.’ No is not an argument. I appreciate in the spirit of the occasion, decide I should make like your opinion. You have to understand that if Ronald a prince and wake her up with a kiss, while Jay photo­ Reagan was elected—I want to make this point, this is graphs the whole sequence. Being chicken, I ask her important— if you find that this system he utilized to first if i t ’s all right. She says sure. Jay instructs me gain an office you d on ’t feel he qualifies for is in error, — “On her upstage side, Paul”—like the pornographic you must amend that system, not him.” photographer who says, “Wait, wait, d on ’t come till I PK: “If I were given a choice now to vote in a presi­ reload.” dential election—between Lyndon Johnson and Ronald We joke about the possibility of discovering a mur­ Reagan— it would be like being given a choice of being der when the pictures develop. burned by napalm or suffocated by Saran Wrap.” A man in a knight's costume is holding a placard M S: “The liberals are spending all their time defend­ which reads “Get Out of Constantinople Now!” He ing McNamara. ‘He’s a genius. I mean, I may not has a lapel button that says “Ban the Catapult!” I ask agree with his policies, but the m an’s obviously a Jay to get a picture of him. Later I see the man again genius.’ T h ey ’re really unbelievable.” and—not to get his permission, but just to make him PK: “It ’s like a reversal of McCarthyism, where they feel good— I tell him I plan to use his picture in my used to say, ‘Well, I respect his goals, but I d on ’t like magazine. His wife says, “I d o n ’t think you should.” his methods.’ Now what they say about McNamara is, He explains: “I have too much to lose.” ‘I like his methods, I just d on ’t like his goals.’ ” All of a sudden I’m in the middle of Blow-Up. MS: “Yeah, well, th e y ’ll accommodate any kind of Legally, there's no problem; this is a news event. madness. He said that I was one of the few guys who Morally, i t ’s a quandary. Suppose h e’s a teacher and has a grasp of administrative problems, so I guess I ’ll would lose his job? Is such a job worth having? But get an appointment any day now. [Audience laughs.] he has a family to support. Yet he took a chance that Well, you people may think th a t’s a compromise, but someone who knew him would be at the Pleasure Faire. the way I look at it. . . .” He can always cop out and say he was making fun of PK: “If you want to work from within. . . .” demonstrators because there has always been protest. MS: “Th a t’s right—work for change from within.” The only reason I'm not publishing his picture is for PK: “You know, th a t’s the best rationalization for lack of space; a blow-up would have revealed that he is not confronting the draft, “Well, I wanna work from a silent partner in an arranged mass murder. within.’ ” In L.A., I get invited to appear again on two TV shows, from left to right, Mort Sahl and Joe Pyne. MS: “I went to the Archives land sawl the Zapruder Some sample bits o f dialogue from the Sahl show : film. I was in there for several hours, running it, then MS: “What are you doing on the west coast?” looking at it frame by frame on a slide projector. When PK: “I’m here to open a branch office for Twiggy.” the President is first struck it seems that h e ’s struck MS: “A great girl ... a great American ... if only in the back. I t ’s reasonably obvious looking at it, you there were more of her.” d o n ’t have to be a ballistics expert. Then h e’s struck in PK: “If the miniskirt were any shorter, th e y ’d dis­ the throat—and his hands go up— and he begins to fall cover that Twiggy is really a boy.” slowly into Mrs. K e n n e d y ’s lap, he sags as the life goes out of him, and then h e’s hit in the head, and as h e’s MS: “Ronald Reagan is a big name in Washington. hit in the head i t ’s the force o f a train hitting you. The They really think h e’s the man, that h e’s going to be President is hit from the right front. I saw it repeat­ the nominee. [Audience: ‘No, no.’] I don ’t think no is edly. I saw a major portion of his skull fly to the rear and to the left. [Audience recoils audibly.] Yes, i t ’s shocking, and i t ’ll help any of you who c a n ’t make up your mind about where you are in this. . . It was for reaching people in these ways that Mort Sah l’s show is no longer on television. The most important thing to remember about the Joe Pyne show is that there are no subpoenas. Guests go on of their own volition. A couple of weeks previously, an interviewee’s father- in-law walked up and slugged his son-in-law on camera, the two of them wrestled to the ground, Pyne broke it up, and the scene was deleted from the tape. When the viewer got finished watching a commercial, sitting there being interviewed was the father-in-law, the son- in-law having disappeared without explanation. But word got out, and now the studio audience is overflowing with sweet little old ladies of both sexes and all ages, hoping against overwhelming odds and vicarious ids that there will be more of the same kind of excitement. P yn e’s staff works with the FBI in digging up infor­ mation. This proved particularly useful when the guest June 1967 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Page 22 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75

was to be Norman Ollestad, author of Inside the FBI. American intellectuals. De Gaulle m igh t’ve backed out According to my FBI contact, the show was privately of Algeria for the wrong reasons but he did back out, screened for FBI agents (who approved it) the day and what a fantastic example Buckminster Fuller could before it was due to be telecast. have set by saying, ‘I refuse to build a monument to a My own background is pure and clean, although Pyne country that is burning children.' is able to get me a little off balance by asking questions “I don ’t mean to sound ungrateful to the country based on informtaion he’s gotten from the FBI on a that nurtured me, but it ’s like, I love my mother and man I'd worked for 14 years ago. father, but if they were beating my brother—and the And then he makes reference to my acne scars. Vietnamese people are my brothers—I would feel duty “Well, Joe, if y ou ’re going to ask questions like that, bound to speak out and say, ‘Hey, Mommy and Daddy, then let me ask you: Do you take off your wooden leg d on ’t do that, it ’s wrong.’ ” before you make love with your wife?” Q. "Now that y ou ’ve laced through Buckminster Ful­ His jaw drops, the audience gasps, the producers ler, what about the more obvious displays here, the less avert their eyes, and the atmosphere becomes surrealis­ subtle things than the marines and the escalator?” tic as he goes through the motions of continuing the A. “Oh, well, it's too bad we don’t have a roving cam­ interview, blatanly ignoring my question. era because we could see—like they have a tremendous Too bad, it might have proved an interesting area of picture of Bette Davis right over a catapult from some investigation. movie, and it catapults her right into Debbie R eyn old ’s bed. And then there are some fire exits which are sym­ If he does remove his wooden leg before he makes bolic of Detroit and Newark.” love with his wife, does he list to one side? Or, in order Q. “What about some of the other displays—the to avoid listing to one side, does he get on bottom, a hats—” position which might well be humiliating for someone A. “When you think about it, we're very limited in with a masculinity hang-up like P yn e’s. scope here. T h ere’s pictures of Hollywood stars and He owns seven guns, in case y ou ’re a phallic sym­ stuff about space travel, but it d o esn ’t seem as if th ere’s bolism fan. Maybe he removes his wooden leg and uses much else to talk about. I mean they d on ’t mention it to make love with his wife. that th ere’s a civil war on in America, for instance. So Joe Pyne d o esn ’t like to be touched. The final guest we have the space capsules up there—and it ’s really that night makes the mistake of embracing him at the very awesome to see them, to know they went through conclusion of the interview. Pyne shoves him away, space—but I somehow cannot be as impressed seeing making threatening karate gestures, and walks off, hair them, knowing . . . I don't mean to keep coming on mussed, loosening his tie. On his way out of the studio, obsessed with destruction that w e're doing in another he passes me and mutters: “Sonofabitch put his hands part of the world, but I can ’t separate it from this, be­ on me. That I don ’t like.” cause it ’s blood money.” When the show goes on TV there, I ’ve been rendered Q. “Well, w hat’s your general impression of Expo as soundless. Not only has my wooden-leg question been a whole?” eliminated, but also my description of the L.A. police A. “It ’s very symbol-conscious. One of the symbols riot. In New York, my interview is entirely omitted is interesting because it has to do with the whole of from the show. First they say it was pre-empted by an Expo— people’s inability to experience existentially the Anti-Defamation League program. But that was offi­ pleasures of now, so they somehow have to get their cially scheduled for one a.m. So then they say the tape passports [admission price to Expo includes a ‘pass­ was damaged. p o r t’] stamped to show that th ey ’ve been there, and The next week another interview is n ’t aired—in you see the clamor to get their passports stamped, even Washington and N.Y.— P yne’s encounter with Robert though they d on ’t really have that much freedom to Rowe, author of The Bobby Baker Story. They tell him, travel. If I want to go to certain countries, I can ’t, and too, that the tape was damaged, but a Variety repotrer if you think back to before World War One, Bertrand investigates and finds out that they .lied. Russell made the point, you could travel anywhere in At the Evening with God, I was invited to speak at the world freely, and now w e’ve come to accept pass­ the Youth Pavilion in Expo. I was also asked to give ports the way w e’ve come to accept the sub-way—as if my impressions of the U.S. Pavilion on CBC television. God planned it this way. . . . T h ere’s more symbolism. I begin by saying that Buckminster Fuller, the archi­ I think the Minirail going through the American Pa­ tect of this huge geodysic dome, is one of my heroes. vilion there is a lovely bit of sexual symbolism. I t ’s my “It ’s really beautiful,” I continue, “with all these favorite moment at Expo. Mostly, th ere’s a kind of flowing colors.” The cameraman d o esn ’t know where to technological joy. T h ere’s something paradoxical about look. "You d on ’t see them, but I do. T h ere’s an inter­ waiting on line to have a good time.” esting kind of symbolism, though. These military men Q. “Waiting 4 hours to see something that lasts 15 —combat marines— I don ’t see that in any other pa­ m inutes—that’s sexual too, you know.” vilion, military men guiding you around, saying, ‘Yes, A. “Well, you can read whatever you want into it. th ere’s the little g ir l’s room’ or ‘Would you like to touch What I would like to do here, as a gesture of my com­ my medals for killing enough Viet Cong?’ I think it ’s mitment—since I feel th ere’s something lacking in the very appropriate that we should be right here by the American Pavilion, which is a certain recognition of largest escalator in the wetsern hemisphere, since the the fact that the country is really split in two—since U.S. is the greatest escalator in southeast Asia. w e’re a nation of symbols, I would like to indulge in a “The more I think about it, the less Fuller becomes a symbolic act. I have my draft card here.” hero, because what a magnificent gesture it w ou ld ’ve Q. “You’re kidding.” been for him to have refused to build this pavilion. A. “Would I kid about a thing like that?” T h a t’s the difference between French intellectuals and Q. “It ’s his draft card.” 22 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - P age 23 scans of this entire issue found at: http://vww.ep.tc/realist/75

A. “And I ’ll hold a match here.” the call thinking it was me, and then she had no humane Q. “Are you sure you know what y o u ’re doing?” choice but to continue the conversation. • A. “If I may.” Meanwhile, the interview has officially been labeled Q. “He’s burning his draft card—how about that for an “incident.” I t ’s shown on TV that night and becomes a scoop, hey?” front-page news in Montreal papers the next day. So A. “Now, the reason I’m doing this is, again, be­ what? It h a sn ’t changed anything. Every day a certain cause we get hung up on symbols. People will be more dread of pain automatically sets in just before the news upset about this than about the fact that children are comes on. In order to survive, you try to live your being burned alive.” alternative of pleasure. Q. “Do you intend to stay in Canada now that y o u ’ve But pity the poor hippy who is allergic to flowers, burned your draft card?” who becomes nauseous from incense, whose hair just A. “I’m leaving tonight, but I want to see more of d o e sn ’t seem to grow, who breaks out in a bisexual rash Expo first. You know, just because—I think th e r e ’s a from wearing beads, who hurts between the toes from joy in the senses and in nature, and that Expo repre­ wearing sandals, whose collective unconscious recalls a sents a celebration of technological achievement rather leper colony whenever people wearing bells walk by, than m an’s relation to man—just because I burned my who coughs uncontrollably at every inhalation o f pot, draft card, it d o e sn ’t mean that I ca n ’t, as a human and who, worst of all, d o e sn ’t have a Thing to Do. being who digs life, groove on everything th a t’s hap­ Oh, somewhere there is a place for each of us: be­ pening here. The significant thing about Expo to me is tween the mysticism of the Electric Lotus (a tribal that of all the pavilions here, the only one that has any­ store whose guru thinks there is profound meaning to thing written on the wall is the Youth Pavilion, where the fact that dog spelled backwards is God—an obser­ someone scrawled: The duty of revolutionists is to make vation once made by Nick Kenny) and the materialism love! So I want to just go around and do my duty— of the Electric Circus (a discotheque whose puppet to my country—as a revolutionist.” show features a Buddhist monk immolating himself); The marines tell me i t ’s against the law to burn my between the Communist Headache (with a flower on the draft card. So I show them my draft card. “I lied on invitation to visit their new party headquarters) and television,” I lie. “Th a t’s not a crime. People do it all the Capitalist Bufferin (with a TV commercial promis­ the time.” ing you turned-on days forever); between the ego-trip The U.S. Pavilion should consist entirely of a gigan­ of Louis Abolafia (sitting in a restaurant, calling out “Down with the Village Voice!” [which had ridiculed tic blow-up of an actual application for employment his presidential campaign], “Up with EVO/” [which which contains this loyalty oath: “I am not now a mem­ ber of the Communist Party nor will I become a mem­ had front-covered him], stopping only to impose kisses upon an unpuckered stranger) and the ego-transcend­ ber during the course of my employment with Lever ence of Richard Alpert (sitting in a restaurant the day Brothers Company.” before he leaves for India to meditate for 6 months, Leaving the CBC people to argue it out with the discussing choiceless awareness while trying to decide USIA people, I go watch the film on children playing what to order on the menu). games. I sit there crying and laughing. The message is Actually, ego-transcendence is a Great Spiritual simple: There was once a time in your life when play­ Myth. Ego has been getting a terrible press lately, but ing games was the most important thing in the world. if, as I believe, consciousness and ego are synonymous, Someone at Expo has taken LSD and thinks h e ’s me. then consciousness-expansion means c^ro-expansion. The He makes a collect call to my office, giving my name, vibrations may vary, but there are only ego-trips— and my scapegoat accepts the call. He tells her h e ’s me. transcendence being the most self-involved journey of S h e ca n ’t hang up on him because he threatens to freak all—and the bullshit-quotient remains a function of out if she does, insisting that she listen to his idea. your perception. H e's read the scare article on acid in the Saturday Choiceless awareness is another Great Spiritual Myth. Evening Post, and although he d o e sn ’t trust it, he's You have to choose choicelessness. Even Andy Warhol decided to stop until more objective research is done. has to pick his next camp site. What are you, a man or This is his last LSD trip for a while. Rather, his next- a camera ? to-last. At first I thought the flaw in Blow-Up occurs when He feels that the scientific method has been lacking, David Hemmings fails to bring his camera with him to that all the happy trippers have been ignored, and he the park in order to record the presence of a corpse would like to sponsor an event that will be a combina­ h e ’s gone there for the purpose of verifying. But i t ’s tion anti-war-protest and pro-scientific-research—his n ot a flaw , it’s the crux: the only way he can be sure of idea: a psychedelic fuck-in—where all those who have reality is by taking a photograph of it. taken LSD so many times that if what the Post says is No, the real flaw in Blow-Up— crystallized by the true then i t ’s too late, will go to Washington or Expo final scene of the pantomimed tennis game, when Hem­ or somewhere and have an outdoor mass ball. mings picks up the imaginary ball at the silent urging If others a ren ’t ashamed to let children witness of players and spectators, then throws it back to them napalm-dropping, w e’re not ashamed to let them witness — is the implication that involvement and detachment lovemaking. And then let the scientists see what kind are mutually exclusive. of babies come out of these holy acid unions. In the original ending, put to rest on Antonioni’s His idea is a bad one. I ’ve seen the violence—from cutting-room floor, David Hemmings picks up the non­ Tompkins Sq. Park to Century Plaza Hotel—that police existent tennis ball, then runs away with it, players and are capable of inflicting on helpless demonstrators. spectators chasing wildly after him, shaking their fists And of course I w on ’t pay for the call. It was obvi­ and shouting unheard curses, utterly enraged because ously someone else who placed it, my scapegoat accepted he has interfered with their imaginary game. June 1967 23 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 75 - June, 1967 - Back Cover scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/75

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