How to Interact with Your Priest
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How to Interact with Your Orthodox Priest NB: The following applies mainly to pastors but may also apply to other clergy as applicable. YOU CAN EXPECT OF YOUR PRIEST: YOU CANNOT EXPECT OF YOUR PRIEST: Serving liturgical services Serving the feasts, style, music, etc., you prefer Serving the sacraments ( aptism, !hrismation, Serving sacraments as you would prefer them (style, "ucharist, Confession, Unction, Marriage% scheduling, liturgical details% &eaching the Orthodox Christian faith 'ltering teaching to suit the times / preferences 'dministrative oversight of the parish )unctioning as !"O, secretary, handyman, custodian, social planner *isiting your home for house blessings ,!ome by any time- &hat he be friendly to you and your family &hat he fulfills your social needs *isiting you in the hospital for prayer & unction Knowing you are in the hospital without contact Spiritual advice about dealing with sin In-depth, extended counseling, especially of a psychological nature 'dvice with relationship difficulties &hat he will solve your relationship problems without sustained commitment from you &hat he will help you develop spiritual discipline &hat he will manage your spiritual life for you &hat he will pray for you &hat you don1t have to pray because he1s praying &hat he will keep confessions confidential &hat he will help you hide secrets from your family or the authorities &hat he will get back to you when you contact him &hat he get back to you immediately, especially if it is not an emergency matter &hat he will +e available in an emergency, i.e., &hat he will be available any time to tal2 to a+out someone dying or near death anything at all &hat he will lead a moral, blameless life &hat he will be perfect, never have a bad day, etc. &hat his wife will participate in parish life &hat his wife will be a leader in parish life &hat his children will participate in parish life &hat his children will be different from any other children in the parish YOUR PRIEST CAN EXPECT OF YOU: YOUR PRIEST CANNOT EXPECT OF YOU: Prioritizing parish life over social and other non0 &hat you never are absent due to employment, illness essential events or even an occasional non0essential event 4egular participation in liturgical services, at bare 'ttendance at every service the parish celebrates minimum every Sunday Divine Liturgy Participation in parish education !oming to every single class &hat you will be educating yourself in the faith &hat you will be studying high0level theology &hat you will keep a daily prayer rule &hat you will be praying to the same extent as a monastic 4egular participation in confession &elling him every detail of your life that is not about confessing your sins &hat you contact him when you are sick &hat you never “bother- him except when sick &hat you will respect his off0duty time, which is his &hat you will never contact him during time off if you time of rest and for his family have a genuine emergency (i.e., imminent death% &hat you strive to be moral and upright &hat you will never fall into sin &hat you will be friendly with him and his family &hat you fulfill his social needs &hat you get his counsel for ma7or moral and life &hat you get his permission for everything you want to issues do &hat you be obedient to what he as2s of you &hat you accept micromanagement of your life &hat you serve in at least one capacity in parish life &hat you are involved in every ministry of the parish &hat you assist him in his ministry and develop your &hat you do the wor2 that is appropriate only for the own ministry priest &hat you will pray for him &hat you will be responsible for his problems &hat he will be appropriately compensated at a &hat he will become wealthy from parish service standard of living basically average to the parish &hat he will be respected as the leader and father of &hat everyone will like him the parish and not treated like an employee When to Contact the Priest Sickness and Death Sickness: If you or someone in your family is sick enough to +e checked0in to the hospital, you should contact the priest to as2 for a visit and prayer. He may anoint you with holy unction. If the illness is very serious (i.e., with the potential for death%, he may also hear your confession and give you holy communion. If the illness is not life0 threatening, it is normal to expect a visit within a day or so. Impending death: !ontact the priest immediately ! da "# night 9 when the threat of death is known (i.e., from medical personnel%. If the priest is in the middle of serving a liturgical service, he will pro+ably not +e able to respond immediately but otherwise should be available. If he does not answer, leave a message so that he can know as soon as possible. If the person is still living, he will ideally hear his confession, anoint him with holy unction and give him holy communion. Imminent death: If the person is a+out to die in the very near future (e.g., ,could be today,- ,matter of hours,- ,very soon now-%, contact the priest immediately ! da "# night. He will come and may (depending on whether the person is awake% hear confession and give holy communion and will likely anoint with holy unction. He may also say a prayer asking that God would release the soul from the body. Death: If the person has died, contact the priest immediately – da or night. &he priest will come to the bedside of the person who has died and serve a memorial (usually brief% for the resting of his soul right next to the body. ;o communion or anointing with unction may occur after the moment of death. The priest will discuss the funeral arrangements and also subse<uent memorial services in church. NB: Cremation is not permitted for Orthodox Christians. $abies P#egnancy: 's2 him for prayer if you are expecting. 's2 his advice on naming your child, as it is traditional and very beneficial to name your child after a saint or saints, who will assist your child as patrons throughout life. &isca##iage: !ontact the priest if you miscarry your ba+y. &here are special prayers for healing and for the resting of the child1s soul. $i#th: 8hen the ba+y is born, contact him right away for the First Day Prayers, usually said in the home or hospital where the ba+y has +een born. He will return for the "ighth 5ay Prayers, which is when your ba+y will receive his name and become officially a catechumen (preparing for baptism%. NB: Sometimes these prayers are said together. Fort 'da Ch(#ching: &he child is brought to church on the fortieth day (sometimes the closest Sunday% for prayer for both him and his mother (5ay = is the birthday%. &he forty days are for the mother to stay home for recovery from birth and to bond with her child. If mom and ba+y are going out and about +efore forty days are up, contact the priest for churching. $aptism: 's2 to schedule the baptism any time after the forty days is complete. 5o not choose a date and ma2e plans (family, travel, catering, etc.) without )irst talking to the priest. NB: Emergency baptism is possible if the child is born and may die imminently. Contact the priest immediately, day or night, and he will come to bapti e the child. !f he cannot come in time" any layman may bapti e the child by anointing him with water and saying, #The ser$ant of %od N&ME is bapti ed in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.* If the child li$es, the priest will come chrismate him. &arriage Engagement: !ontact the priest for prayer. Some traditions have a ring0blessing prayer that can +e said at an engagement (sometimes at a special party%. *edding: 5o not choose a date and make plans (family, travel, catering, etc.) without )i#st tal2ing to the priest. You will be expected to spend time doing pre0marital preparation (usually a series of classes% before the wedding. 'nd many dates throughout the year are not appropriate for weddings. &a##iage: Your priest is there to help coach you on +eing married. 5o not hesitate to as2 for help, and don1t assume that you know what you1re doing> If you1ve never +een married +efore, you probably don1t. 'nd if you ha$e been married before, if you got divorced, it might be an indication that you needed some help. Other Times to Contact the P#iest Ne+ ,ome: Get your new place blessed before you move in (or at least soon after). 8e then bless homes every year after &heophany (?an. 6). $(siness: New oneA Old oneA Get that place blessed, just like your home gets blessed. Ne+ Ca# - $oat: :et that thing blessed> 8e1ve got special prayers for that. (On that note, we1ve got them for gardens, beehives, etc. If you build it, use it, etc., we probably have a blessing prayer for it.) Sched(ling Confession: Some priests have ,office hours- for wal20in confessions, but some may do appointments only. $aking an appointment is never bad and usually best for everyone, especially if you think it might need to be a long one. &ry not to ask immediately before a service. .oing on a T#ip: If you1re taking a journey, there are prayers for safety and protection whether traveling +y land, sea or air.