Marriage Ceremonies at Ullet Road Church Wedding Information

MarriageMarriage CeremoniesCeremonies atat UlletUllet RoadRoad ChurchChurch WeddingWedding InformationInformation Preface This booklet has been compiled to enable you to prepare your wedding at the Ullet Road Unitarian Church. It contains an outline of the legal requirements; a specimen service; suggestions for readings; a brief history of the Ullet Road Church; an introduction to Unitarianism; answers to some frequently asked questions; a checklist of things to do; and some useful phone numbers and email addresses. Should you have any further questions, please contact your Wedding Co-Ordinator who will be always pleased to help. Rev. Phil Waldron 3rd October 2017 Legal Weddings and Wedding Blessings in Ullet Road Unitarian Church. Contents Marriage in the Unitarian Church 1 Legal Requirements 1 Organising your Wedding 2 Outline of a typical Wedding Service 4 Suggested Readings 9—27 Suggested Hymns—28 Preferred Caterers—29 Checklist 44 Appendix: Useful Contact Numbers and Emails 45 Marriage in Ullet Road Church is pleased to offer itself as a venue for the celebration of both legal wedding ceremonies and wedding blessings. In keeping with our church’s liberal ethos, we place no barrier on the remarriage of divorced people and same sex, holding firmly to the principle that the conscience of the individual takes precedence over ecclesiastical regulations. However, we do expect those who marry in our church to be in sympathy with our principles and to attend some worship services before the wedding takes place. Legal Requirements: It is necessary for both parties to the marriage to meet with their Local Registrar of Civil Marriages. This must be done at least three months before the proposed date of the wedding (although, in certain circumstances, it is possible to obtain a court order to bypass this regulation). You will be expected to make and sign a declaration in the Registrar’s presence that there is no impediment to the said marriage. The Registrar concerned may require each party to an intended marriage to provide him or her with evidence relating to the party’s forename, surname, address, marital status, age and nationality, as may be specified by the Registrar. At this time the couple should tell the Registrar that they intend their marriage to take place in Ullet Road Unitarian Church, and give the name of the wedding solemniser. The Registrar will give the couple a Certificate of Marriage . This is a very important document and when you are given the certificate it must be handed to the Minister or an Authorised Person of Ullet Road Church. The wedding diary fills up rather quickly, and the summer months are very busy, so it is best to fix your date and time well in advance. Please contact the Wedding Secretary or Minister and he/she will make appointment with you to explain the process in person. You can drop in during a Sunday Ser- vice which starts at 11am and we can chat with you then. You will be required to complete an information form when you have a set a date with the Wedding Secretary and Minister. About one month before the wedding day, you will be contacted by the Minister and invited to come to the church in order to attend to the church’s own administrative requirements. This will also be an opportunity for you to discuss the format of your wedding. If, by some oversight, you are not contacted, then make contact with the church yourself and arrange a date to meet with the Minister. In the meantime, be thinking about your wedding ceremony. What readings would you like? (see suggestions for readings in this booklet). What kind of music do you want? What about flowers? (Music and flowers are the responsibility of bride and groom, and are not covered by the fee paid to the church.) And remember, your Minster will always be willing to answer any queries you may have. Contact can be made by telephone or email, and he or she will generally be available after Sunday worship. Two days or so before the wedding you will meet with your Minister for a rehearsal in the church. You may want to bring your best man and chief bridesmaid to this, along with any other members of your wedding party who may be participating, but this is by no means necessary and, generally speaking, only bride and groom are required. If you have not already done so, you will be expected to pay the fee six weeks before the wedding. Outline of a Typical Legal Wedding Service. Entry of Bride (accompanied by music) Welcome by Minister Opening Words of Ceremony Lighting of Candles Prayer First Hymn/Song/Music First Reading Second Reading Declaration of Ability and Intent Third Reading Fourth Reading Second Hymn/Music/Song Blessing Marriage Vows Personal Vows Exchange of Rings Signing of Register (accompanied by music) Third Hymn/Song/Music Unity Candle Unity Blessing Final Blessing Exit (accompanied by music) Declaration of Ability and Intent During the declaration of ability and intent the couple are asked to repeat the words below, first to the Bridegroom then to the Bride: First Ability: I do solemnly declare That I know not Of any lawful impediment Why I..................... May not be joined in matrimony To......................... Secondly Intent ......(name)....... will you take..... (name).....to be your wife? (Husband) Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? The bridegroom will answer, ‘I will’. Suggested Readings.... Loyalty Amongst all the virtues, loyalty is the one I prize highest. Loyalty is the acceptance and enactment of an invisible bond. Loyalty demands loyalty, not in a demanding way, but in the way that the sun demands that the autumn day is warm: it makes it so. Loyalty is a celebration of something sacred – that beyond the calls of duty or of self-interest, there are sacred gifts – the gifts of friendship and gratitude. Loyalty is an enactment of thankfulness. Loyalty is a strong rope to hold onto in the darkness. Loyalty is the knowledge that somewhere over the hill there is a safe place, a fire lit and a meal served, though you cannot yet find it. ~ Poetry of Persons by Tessa Ransford We love each other utterly in sharing what we do not have, we find each other finally in losing what we cannot save. We keep each other continually in taking what we dare not hold; we win each other daringly when every treasure has been sold. We fill each other with good things when we hunger for the least and receive the cup of blessing uninvited to the feast. We bring each other healing in the strong herbs of silence; we hear each other speaking in the quiet voice of distance We come to know each other accepting what we do not know; we come to choose each other whom we’d chosen long ago. We see each other perfectly in the beholding of the night; we trust each other lastingly in the unfolding of the night We complete each other constantly but grow to a new whole; we form a part of all that is, and all that forms us is a soul. I Do Not Love You As If You Were Salt-Rose Or Topaz by Pablo Neruda I do not love you as if you were salt rose or topaz or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep I Love You by Roy Croft I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am When I am with you I love you, Not only for what You have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me I love you For the part of me That you bring out; I love you For putting your hand Into my heaped-up heart And passing over All the foolish, weak things That you can’t help Dimly seeing there, And for drawing out Into the light all the beautiful belongings That no one else had looked quite far enough to find I love you because you Are helping me to make Of the lumber of my life Not a tavern But a temple; Out of the works Of my every day Not a reproach But a song I love you Because you have done More than any creed Could have done to make me good And more than any fate Could have done To make me happy You have done it without a touch Without a word, Without a sign. You have done it By being yourself. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

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