Agape - I Do Unconditionally

AGAPE - I DO UNCONDITIONALLY 11-1-09 PASTOR LES SANDERS MILFORD ASSEMBLY OF GOD

STORY: A YOUNG MAN SPIED A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN WALKING ALONG THE ROAD AND FOLLOWED HER FOR ABOUT A MILE. THE YOUNG WOMAN KNOWING THAT SHE WAS BEING FOLLOWED, FINALLY TURNED, LOOKED STRAIGHT AT THE YOUNG MAN AND ASKED HIM DEMANDING, “WHY ARE YOU DOGGING MY FOOTSTEPS?” HE ANSWERED, “BECAUSE YOU ARE THE LOVELIEST, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, THE MOST BREATHTAKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.” HE PAUSED AND THEN WENT ON TO SAY, “I HAVE FALLEN MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU. IT HAPPENED THE MOMENT I LAID MY EYES ON YOU. IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.” THE YOUNG WOMAN REPLIED, “BUT YOU HAVE MERELY TO LOOK BEHIND YOU AND SEE MY YOUNGER SISTER WHO IS TEN TIMES LOVELIER THAN ME.” THE SUPPOSEDLY LOVE-SMITTEN YOUNG MAN WHEELED AROUND, AND THERE HIS GAZE FELL UPON THE YOUNGER SISTER WHO WAS VERY AVERAGE LOOKING. IN FACT SHE WAS PERHAPS THE MOST AVERAGE FEMALE THAT HE HAD EVER SEEN. HE LOOKED BACK AT HIS HEARTTHROB WHO THEN SAID TO HIM, “IF YOU TRULY LOVED ME, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED.” GOTTCHA! SHE WAS RIGHT, FOR HE HAD FAILED THE GREATEST LOVE-TEST OF ALL. HE LOVED HER, AS LONG AS THERE WAS NOT SOMEONE BETTER LOOKING THAN HER. WHAT IS THAT?

I. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF LOVE A. NO IN-BETWEEN 1. THEY CANNOT BE MIXED, 2. BOTH ARE OPPOSING TO EACH OTHER B. THE FIRST IS: “CONDITIONAL LOVE.” C. THE SECOND IS: “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.” 1. THERE IS NO OTHER POSSIBILITY, 2. EITHER WE ATTACH CONDITIONS TO OUR LOVE 3. OR WE ATTACH NO CONDITIONS TO OUR LOVE. 4. WE CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. II. FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE A. WE PLEDGED UNCONDITIONAL MARRIAGE VOWS FOR BETTER OR WORSE, FOR RICHER OR A POOR, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, UNTIL DEATH DO US PART." 1. THE ONLY WAY OUT WAS THROUGH DEATH 2. "I DO" YOUR LIFE WAS NO LONGER YOURS 3. IT WAS MODELED ALL AROUND US B. THE “I DO” OF UNCONDITIONAL MARRIAGE HAS GIVEN WAY TO THE “I WILL TRY” C. MARRIAGE HAS BECOME "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS" 1. WITH REGULAR SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, a. PLANTING THE THOUGHTS OF COMPARISON 2. THE SEEDS OF SIN IN THE RELATIONSHIP Romans 6:23 23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. D. MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK 1. THE VOWS SHOULD BE REPEATED OFTEN, a. THEY BECOME DAMAGED IN SO MANY WAYS. 2. UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE MUST BE RESTORED a. AGAIN AND AGAIN. b. MARRIAGE IS EASILY BE HELD HOSTAGE c. TO CREEPING CONDITIONALITY.

III. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD\ FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED ______, TO HAVE AND HOLD FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, IN BETTER CONDITIONS AND IN WORSE CONDITIONS, IN SICK CONDITIONS AND IN HEALTHY CONDITIONS, IN RICH CONDITIONS AND IN POOR CONDITIONS, TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART, AND THERETO I PLEDGE MY FIDELITY TO YOU. A. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD! 1. THAT MEANS THERE IS NO GOING BACK. 2. MARRIAGE IS A PROCESS, NOT A DESTINATION. a. MOVING FORWARD THROUGH IT ALL, b. LOVING EACH OTHER THROUGH IT ALL, c. NEVER LOOK BACK, 3. NONE LIKE IT IN ALL OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS! Matthew 19:6 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

IV. “WHAT THEREFORE GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO MAN SEPARATE.” A. SEALED BY A KISS, 1. AN ERNEST OF THAT WHICH IS TO COME 2. LITERALLY HAVE KISSED THEIR LIVES AWAY 3. ALL OTHER KISSES ARE BUT REMINDERS B. GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL AGAPE-LOVE 1 Corinthians 13:7 7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 1. WE PLEDGE THE “I UNCONDITIONALLY DO” a. PLEDGE TO GOD, EACH OTHER AND TO THE WITNESSES b. AT ALL TIMES AND UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER SHALL TRIUMPH AND ENDURE. c. NO MATTER HOW HEAVY THE LOAD, d. NO MATTER HOW HARD TO BELIEVE THE BEST ABOUT EACH OTHER e. NO MATTER HOW DISMAL 1 John 4:19 ( NIV ) 19We love because he first loved us. 2. OUR I DO" WILL OUTLAST EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. 3. TRUE LOVE IS ALWAYS FORGED IN THE TRIAL. C. THE I-DO LOVE FORGIVES EVERY HURT 1. A WRONG WILL NEVER WITHHOLD FORGIVENESS Matthew 18:21-22 ( NIV ) 21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy- seven times. 2. UN-FORGIVENESS WILL ERODE THE “I DO” a. UNFAITHFULNESS WILL NOT DESTROY b. UN-FORGIVENESS WILL DESTROY 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 ( NIV ) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. D. NO ACCOUNT OF EVIL! NONE! 1. NO PARTIAL-FORGIVENESS 2. MAKES A "LIMITED LIFETIME GUARANTEE" E. THERE IS GREAT SUFFERING IN AGAPE-LOVE 1. NO FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE. RM 12:21 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 2. NO PARTIAL-CEASE FIRE

V. THE I-DO LOVE NEVER MANIPULATES A. THIS MEANS THAT WE WILL NEVER, NEVER EVER WITHHOLD LOVE FROM EACH OTHER 1. LOVE NEVER TAKES A PRISONER, 1 Corinthians 13:5 “…love does not seek its own….” B. AGAPE, TRUE LOVE, IS NEVER MANIPULATIVE, 1. NOT WHAT IS BEST FOR ME, BUT WHAT IS BEST FOR US. C. NO BONUS LOVE 1. GOD SHOWED HIS LOVE TO US, Romans 5:8 ( NIV ) 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 2. IT IS ALWAYS A FREE GIFT, 3. ONLY GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. 4. WE REWARD OUR LOVE TO OUR CHILDREN 5. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE NEVER MAKES ONE FEEL EXCLUDED OR X-ED A LINE. 6. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS PROVED IN THE TEST

VI. AGAPE – NO NEGATIVE CONDITIONS 1 Cor 13:7 (NIV) 7…, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

( KJV ) 7… believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. A. IT MEANS THAT LOVE BELIEVES THE BEST ABOUT US, a. EVEN WHEN WE ARE STINKING UP OUR LIVES AND OUR MARRIAGES WITH OUR WORST. B. AGAPE-EYES SEE US IN A POSITIVE LIGHT ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDST OF OUR DARKEST SIDE. Matthew 16:18 18And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

1 John 4:18 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.