A Publication of the Al-Anon Service Center of Northern Virginia s1

July/August 2007 The Butterfly A Publication of the Al-Anon Service Center of Northern Virginia

New Spanish Meeting Two New Manassas Meetings Please support a new Spanish- Please support a new Tuesday speaking meeting at Saint evening meeting (7:00pm) and a UPCOMING EVENTS Timothy’s Episcopal Church in new Saturday morning men’s July 12, 7:30pm Herndon (432 Van Buren Street). meeting (8:30am) at Bethel Loudoun District Meeting The group currently meets the first Evangelical Lutheran Church in Galilee Methodist Church Tuesday of each month at 6:30pm Manassas (8712 Plantation Lane). Sterling and would greatly appreciate your See the attached flyer for more attendance. information. July 20–22 Middle Eastern Alateen Convention (MEAC) Ladies Night Out Anniversary Loudoun District News Front Royal Celebration (Courtesy of Peggy E., District Representative) July 21, 9:30am The Ladies Night Out Sunday evening meeting in Falls Church The past year has been a Northern Virginia Service successful one! Our first annual Al- Center General Meeting invites you to join them for some th Anon family picnic was held in (Service Center Committee food and fun at their 111 anniversary July 29 at 6:00pm. June, and we plan to continue the and Group tradition in years to come. Representatives) Please bring a dish to share. See Holy Trinity Lutheran the attached flyer for additional details. Also, we are looking for more Church, Falls Church Group Representatives to join us. Butterfly Submissions The District is a major source of July 21, 1:00–4:00pm Please submit information for information, so we need Reps to Northern Virginia Service publication in the September/ come and get that information in a Center Open House October issue of The Butterfly no timely manner. District meetings 100 N. Washington St., later than Saturday, September 1, are held at 6:00pm at the Galilee Suite 212, Falls Church 2007. Send material by e-mail to Methodist Church on the second [email protected] or by snail Thursday of each month. July 21, 7:30pm mail to the Service Center, ATTN: Falls Church Butterfly. District Meeting Idylwood Presbyterian Church, Falls Church

July 29, 6:00pm

Ladies Night Out One of the benefits for me of For example, I would be at work, Anniversary Celebration working the Al-Anon program is that under no real stress, and suddenly I Physicians Conference I have grown more aware of my would feel anxiety that was Center at INOVA Fairfax changing emotional states. I can unattached to any worry or Hospital, 3300 Gallows Rd. remember when I first came to Al- concern. I learned to just let myself Falls Church Anon that I was in so much pain feel the feeling and it would pass. I that I could not feel anything else. have come to think about these August 5, 2:00–4:00pm As the pain diminished, I began to relatively short emotional events as Alateen Forum Meeting feel specific emotions such as “bubbles” of emotion rising out of Springfield anger, frustration, resentment, and the swamp of my subconscious. fear. However, as I went through August 5, 6:00pm the healing process some of the ~continued on page 3~ Springfield/Annandale emotions I felt would just bubble up ~Emotional Bubbles, continued District Meeting out of nowhere and seem to be from page 1~ Messiah Methodist unrelated to anything that was Church, Springfield going on in my life. I remember learning in school that ~continued on page 3~ the human brain evolved in she’s provided in the past and for the extra task of creating a workable budget that allowed the Service Center move to be a smooth transition.

On that note, Joann has mentioned that she and Martin are having a new home built in Richmond and will be leaving here before the end of the year. Joann, no words can thank you enough for all of the services you have provided.

If there is someone in our family with a 2007 bookkeeping or accounting background who is “The Year of Renewal, interested in being a trusted servant and Rededication, and Recommitment” becoming treasurer for the Service Center, please contact me or Joann. Hello Family, Thank you for helping the Service Center to get Gratitude Brunch on November 3, 2007… through the first six months of the new Tickets will be mailed shortly. Remember that administration. We could not have done it the Holiday Inn Eisenhower can only without help from everyone. accommodate 200 people. The seats will be reserved on a first come basis. There will be no Spring Assembly…The Assembly was held in ticket sales at the door. For the groups that plan May and our Virginia Area Delegate Don F. gave to purchase tickets for the Alateens, please his report from the April 2007 Delegates notify Forest B. as soon as possible because the meeting. An important piece of information he tickets have to be given to the Alateen Forum for mentioned is that the World Service Office distribution. stated the “Newcomers Welcome” is not Love in the Fellowship, conference approved and requested that groups Khayriyyah A. no longer use this piece in their openings. If Chairperson there are any questions about this information, please contact Don.

Service Center Move…The Service Center moved on June 2, 2007, and opened for operation on June 4. I would like to thank Forest B. for organizing the workers, and Ann H., Lee B., Phoebe B., Valaria H., Fred M., Harriet T., and the many others who helped pack the office. We need you at the July 21 Service Center Fred M. made arrangements to secure a truck General Meeting for the move. Hank I. and his friend were instrumental in getting the truck loaded and The Steering Committee is asking for grassroots unloaded. Hats off to all who helped to make the input on an issue involving the Northern Virginia move a success. I understand that others came Al-Anon/Alateen website. We’ll provide to help also and although I don’t have names I information to you at the meeting on July 21, want to thank you as well. and ask that you take the information back to your groups for a group conscience vote. Here’s 2007 Convention…Our special events thanking you in advance for your participation. volunteer Jessica F. carried literature from our Service Center to the 2007 Al-Anon Convention Meeting Location: held in Natural Bridge on June 8–10. Many Holy Trinity Lutheran Church thanks to Jessica and the team that supported 3022 Woodlawn Avenue her in selling more than $5,000.00 in literature. Falls Church, VA 22042-1826

Joann and Martin Moving…Special thanks to Time: 9:30–11:00am our treasurer Joann O. for all of the hard work (Refreshments and fellowship start at 9:00am)

Page 3 stages and includes the brainstem, during such an emotional bubble, ~Events, continued the limbic system, and the feel the feeling without getting bent from page 1~ cerebrum. The brainstem is the about it, access myself, and take most primitive part of the brain, and care of my needs. In a way, August 9, 7:30pm is responsible for automatic learning to handle my emotional Loudoun District Meeting functions such as breathing and bubbles has been, and continues to Galilee Methodist Church heartbeat. The limbic system is the be, a blessed exercise in self-love. Sterling part of the brain that generates emotions. Although more advanced One last thing about emotional August 18, 7:30pm than the brainstem, it does not have bubbles. When I first became Falls Church a sense of time. Consequently, aware of them, they were mostly District Meeting buried emotions can surface with toxic swamp gas—negative, Idylwood Presbyterian the same intensity and be as real noxious little fumes. Later, as I Church, Falls Church as when the original trigger recovered more from the effects of occurred. The cerebrum, on the someone else’s drinking, my September 2, 6:00pm other hand, is where thinking emotional landscape changed. My Springfield/Annandale originates and is also where people swamp dried up and I began to District Meeting get a sense of time. experience positive emotional Messiah Methodist bubbles, such as joy, happiness, Church, Springfield I have found these facts helpful and even serenity. It certainly has when learning to apply the Al-Anon been unexpected in the midst of a September 15, 7:30pm tools to my emotional bubbles. I crisis, or when faced with a dull and Falls Church realize that when unpleasant gloomy day, to find myself feeling District Meeting emotions bubble up out of my perfectly happy and grateful for it all Idylwood Presbyterian subconscious, they are real feelings —the effect of a positive little Church, Falls Church but they are not facts. I don’t have bubble. So emotional bubbles are to react to them or allow them to not all bad. They are what they are, September 21–23 unduly color my thoughts. I realize and my awareness of them has Eastern Seaboard Alateen that “this too shall pass,” and I can taught me a lot about myself as I Conference (ESAC) remember to be grateful for the fact travel my road to recovery. Makemie Woods Camp that I can feel these feelings today. –Scott A. and Conference Center I have also come to appreciate the Lanexa gifts that these bubbles have taught me, such as patience and compassion for myself. When For more information experiencing an unpleasant contact the emotional bubble, I now look to see Northern Virginia Al-Anon if I am hungry, angry, lonely, or Service Center tired (HALT). I have learned that for me negative emotional bubbles 100 N Washington St., tend to surface when I am in need Suite 212 of food or rest, or am obsessing Falls Church, VA 22046 over something or isolating. I have Tel: 703-534-HELP (4357) learned to stop what I am doing E-mail: [email protected] Web: www.alanonva.com

Hours are 12:30–4:00pm Alateen Talk is a quarterly Attention: Alateen Talk, 1600 Monday through Friday publication in which Alateen Corporate Landing Parkway, and members worldwide share about Virginia Beach, VA 23454). Please 12:30–4:00pm the second their personal lives, how their contact the WSO for subscriptions Saturday of each month Alateen groups function, and how to Alateen Talk. they carry the Alateen message to young people still suffering from Alateens may also send a copy of someone else’s drinking. their sharings for publication in The Butterfly via e-mail A copy of the share sheet is ([email protected]) or postal included in this newsletter for mail (see address in shaded box at individuals to reproduce and right). distribute. Send sharings to the World Service Office (WSO) via e- mail ([email protected]; put Alateen Talk inEYE the ONsubject LITERATURE line), fax (757- 563-1655), or postal mail (WSO, Page 4 Al-Anon Family Group Conference Approved Literature BUTTERFLY

DISTRIBUTION The Dilemma of the alcoholism” until she began The Butterfly is a publication Alcoholic Marriage “keeping in mind the one word of the Northern Virginia ($8.50, catalog number B-4) ‘courtesy’…that deference which Service Center intended to we owe to every human being, communicate information I love puzzles, especially those of particularly to those we love.” One about upcoming Al-Anon and the jigsaw persuasion—except, of man told how he learned that Alateen events in the area; course, when I can’t solve them. “sobriety was not the answer or the share “best practices” and Then they just frustrate me until the end; it was only the beginning logistics information that help point at which I wind up throwing [because] the change from years of groups stay healthy, vital, and the pieces back into their boxes daily drinking to sobriety is probably dynamic; and share and tossing them on the closet the most radical a person can experience, strength, and shelf, never to be worked on again: experience.” A couple told how they hope in recovery. out of sight, out of mind. That’s not fell in love only to drift apart, really a viable option when the eventually finding unity again It is available on the Service puzzle involves my marriage, through AA and Al-Anon. Center website and also however. Fortunately, my search mailed to Group for healthier options led me to the Some days I experience more Representatives, who are book The Dilemma of the Alcoholic marital complications than others encouraged to make copies Marriage. and go to bed with more questions for distribution in their groups. than answers, but now I know that Please make sure your group I have to admit it’s not a very I’m not alone. The Dilemma of the keeps its registration up-to- impressive looking volume, just a Alcoholic Marriage has taught me date, using the form available floppy paperback sporting a dull that. And sometimes that’s all I on the website or by request green cover and boasting a mere really need to remember. from the Service Center. 102 pages. Nonetheless, I was optimistic and began to read the Conference Approved Literature (CAL) may stories of everyday people in be purchased at the Service Center or by Individual mail subscriptions to using the website order form. We invite you The Butterfly are $5 per year. extraordinarily difficult situations. to share your thoughts about a piece of Please include your name, CAL by e-mailing [email protected] mailing address, telephone The wisdom and guidance the or by writing to the Service Center, ATTN: number, and a check made out sharings in this book offer on such Butterfly. to NoVA Al-Anon Service important topics as communication Center in your request and and applying the Twelve Steps to send it to ATTN: Butterfly at the marriage problems are invaluable Service Center address listed to me as I seek recovery in my on page 3. relationship with my husband. One woman told how her marriage had “foundered on the rock of…

Per reader request, listed below are  Northern Virginia Alateen the addresses to which you may Forum send group donations (be sure to Please call the Service Center include the group number on your (703-534-4357) weekdays check): between 12:30pm and 4:00pm to  World Service Office obtain this information. Attention: Group Contribution  District AFG 1600 Corporate Landing Pkwy Please contact your District Virginia Beach, VA 23454 Representative (DR) for  Virginia Area Al-Anon information on how to contribute Treasurer to your district. Don’t know who Ruth W. your DR is? Call the Service PO Box 4634 Center (703-534-4357) weekdays Richmond, VA 23220 between 12:30pm and 4:00pm  Al-Anon Service Center of and the volunteer on duty will be Northern Virginia happy to provide you with that 100 N Washington St, Rm 212 information. Falls Church, VA 22046

s p r e a d t h e w o r d

A N E W A L – A N O N M E E T I N G

TUESDAY ~ 7:00 PM

BETHEL EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH 8712 PLANTATION LANE MANASSAS ______

July/August 2007 The Butterfly A Publication of the Al-Anon Service Center of Northern Virginia please join

L a d i e s N i g h t O u t for our

Sunday, July 29. 2007 ~ 6:00 pm

Karen B. Centreville, VA Don B. Al-Anon Falls Church, VA AA COVERED DISH (with your favorite recipe)

INOVA FAIRFAX HOSPITAL ~ FIRST FLOOR 3300 GALLOWS ROAD ~ FALLS CHURCH, VA Physicians Conference Center

(Enter the Blue Entrance ~ Next to the Women’s & Children’s Entrance)

for information, please contact Northern Virginia Service Center 703 534-HELP (4357) July/August 2007 The Butterfly A Publication of the Al-Anon Service Center of Northern Virginia

MEETING IN NEED OF SUPPORT

Please join us!!

Wednesday Nights 8:00 PM

St. Timothy’s Episcopal Church 432 Van Buren Street Herndon, VA 20170

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * New Book from Al-Anon

Now Available at the Service Center: B29 - $14.00

July/August 2007 The Butterfly A Publication of the Al-Anon Service Center of Northern Virginia