Stalking and What to Do About It

STALKING -- AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Stalking involves engaging in a pattern of conduct to knowingly cause another person to believe that the offender will cause physical harm or mental distress. There are anti-stalking statutes in all 50 states, yet potential victims still live in terror and sometimes die as a result of this crime.

Stalking is a crime but it cannot be enforced without the cooperation and diligence of victims.

Stalking Danger Signs:

• Possible stalker has different expectations for the relationship than you do

• Person misrepresents the relationship to others (e.g., claims that you are getting married)

• You receive inappropriate or unwanted gifts

• Individual makes great demands upon your time

• You receive constant phone calls

• Person appears at your workplace or other places that you frequent

• IN DENIAL–– Hears only what they want to hear, not what you are saying

• Tries to make you accountable for your time, your schedule, your comings and goings The types of acts that stalkers engage in can be especially intimidating. When these acts occur, you should take action to protect yourself and to report what is happening to you.

Acts By Stalkers To Intimidate Victims:

• Leave dead animals (typically cats) by doorways–at home & office

• Send dead flowers or plants to victim

• Send letters with frightening (but not illegal) messages

• Leave voice mail messages from “hell”

• Letters or messages to victim's superiors or colleagues discussing private matters, romantic affairs

• Persistent and inappropriate phone calls to co-workers, friends, and relatives

• Constant phone calls–100 per day are not unusual–to victim

• Communications telling the victim that they have observed the victim's movements

• Appears near victim' car in parking garages, public places, etc.

• May attempt to use a child as a pawn

Successful prosecution of a stalker depends upon your cooperation. This means that you are going to have to document what has been happening so that police and prosecutors can build an effective case against the perpetrator.

Steps To Take To Help Police Build Case Against A Stalker:

• Keep a detailed log with dates, times, places, witnesses, phone calls. Tape and transcribe your phone conversations. Keep originals of ALL correspondence that you receive.

• Tell EVERYONE about incidents that occur—everyone means family, friends, police, coworkers, employers, neighbors • Report ALL incidents to police and request that a written report be filed.

• Show pictures of your stalker to everyone. Make sure they know what the person is doing to harass you.

• Know the laws in your states and how they work. Check the Stalking Resource Center at the National Center for Victim’s of Crime web site (www.ncvc.org) for state by state statutes.

• Vary your regular routine and routes to route and other places.

• Avoid being alone when you go out.

• Select a code word that will warn family, friends and coworkers that you are in danger.

• Create a personal safety plan and rehearse it with children and family members.

• When you are going out, always tell someone where you will be and when you will be back.

• Lock your residence and car at all times. NEVER leave either unlocked.

• Have some form of self-defense—keys, pepper gas, mace, etc.