$3 We Hit The Bull’s-Eye Every Night $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com February 22nd, 2009 [email protected] STICK AROUND THIS TIME? (the Hawks are doing things in strange ways as much punch as an O’Douls and question- this year, as they also don’t have a checking albe effort from night to night. In addition, line, but a second scoring line that just hap- the Wild spend most of the rest of the season pens to contain its best defensive forwards). on the road, where they’re below .500. Unless Walker has been more than solid, and is +7 Backstrom -- or, more likely, Josh Harding in the last seven games. He’s not quick, we after Backstrom gets dealt -- makes a pact know, but he does his job. The biggest feath- with Satan, this team won’t score enough to er in his cap is that while he’s a plus-player in climb up in the standings, especially if they’re Behind The Net, his partner -- the emotional quitting on their coach. breakdown that is 51 Phatom at times -- is a This Time, We Mean It negative. So basically, Walker is doing more The last time Minnehaha came a “Q...drinks...your...milkshake!” work than most realize to keep Soupy’s cock- callin’, the Hawks did two things you can’t let ups from being truly damaging. the Wild do: A) Minnesota scored first and B) At least he did on this past road Wild Wild Life? Hardly Mikko Koivu was doing the scoring. The Wild trip. That was the most dominant streak of To tonight’s visit of the cure-for- are nearly impossible to come back against games the Hawks have put together since insomnia and hockey equivalent of a naval -- even though the Hawks mauled them for December’s March To The Sea. The final two blockade that is the Minnesota Wild. Quite the last half of that game. Additionally, if you were against playoff-caliber teams in their frankly, they’re kind of a mess these days keep Koivu off the scoresheet, the Wild won’t own buildings. After they were over, the only -- though they are coming off a very solid score. Try and correct that tonight, boys. word we could come up with to describe it was beating of Scum last night, 5-2. They score The Wild have seen the poles of “pecker-slap”. Neither the Panthers or Stars about as much a World of Warcraft player, Hawks performances this season. In the first ever got close to The Men of Four Feathers, have effort that wavers from hellish to non- and third meeting, the Hawks were either and if it wasn’t for Steven Stamkos channeling existent from period to period, and there are getting adjusted to playing for, y’know, an early 90’s Brett Hull for a night, neither would whispers that they’ve tuned out their coach, actual coach, or were gasping for air and the have the Lightning. Most heartening the past Drill Sergeant Lemaire (shocking, no?). All-Star Break without Duncan Keith. In the two games was the defensive effort. Neither On top of that, there are rumors teams’ second meeting, the Wild caught the Florida or Dallas could generate any sustained circulating that Niklas Backstrom may be Hawks at their demon-seed best, as they were pressure. It looked like us hitting on a woman traded, and no one’s sure if that would be to victim #9 on the nine-game winning streak at a bar, no offensive progress whatsoever. acquire pieces to get into the playoffs, or just -- and it was a true Jasper-inspiring paddling. Any chance against was quickly limited to a fire-sale and giving up on the season. The The Hawks are clearly playing close to, if not one-and-done, and most of them came from Wild have lost three of their last four. They’ve at, their best, and anything resembling what the outside. This is the kind of hockey the slid out of the playoff picture, and it’s hard to we’ve seen the last four will do away with the Hawks will need to execute come April. crawl back into it with an attack that has about Wild. -The Academy So, finally the Hawks return home, and will actually play more than one home game a week this time. In fact, they’ll get quite comfortable here, as 13 of the next 16 are on Madison. With an eight-point cushion on the 5th place team du jour, only a Mets- like collapse will fuck this up. Walker On, With Matt In Your Hearts Sure, it would be easy to use this space to try and describe how good Martin Havlat has been. It would probably take all of this space to even come close, and we have about three new nicknames for him (Marty- Lark come to mind...), but you knew that already. Instead, we’ll take the time to extol the virtues of Matt Walker. Yes, we said it. We know Matt Walker has gotten a rough ride from Hawks fans at times, but we can’t figure out why. It must be because they expect him to be more than he is, seeing as how he’s playing in the second pairing. But he’s simply a #5 or #6 d-man, who just happens to be playing on that pairing “The National Debt Clock? No, that’s Havlat’s Contract Demands Clock.” FROM THE EDITOR -The first subject I’m going to have to address, obviously, is The What actually was more bothersome than The Wave was the march- Wave that somehow crawled into the UC last Saturday. Clearly, this ing band that was in the 300 Level on Saturday night. We called for is a crime against humanity. However, this was a perfect cocktail the Drummers back, not the entire accompaniment. I don’t know if for something stupid to happen, wasn’t it (God, I’m covering this they came on their own or were brought in, but it’s hard to imagine as if it were a fucking plane crash. You can see how that you can walk in with drums and horns and have out of whack my priorities are)? A Saturday night security not notice (though with UC security, any- home game, the first in three weeks -- leaving a large thing’s possible. But try and legally sell your own block of time for anyone to plan a group outing of, program outside the UC, and watch the questions oh, I don’t know, drunken-moron college kids, and fly!). Either way, this is something that distracts a game that had turned into a blowout early, leaving from the action on the ice, which should always plenty of space for people to want to draw attention be front and center. The Drummers always played to themselves. during stoppages, and got the energy going for when But I want to clear up one strain of thought play started again. These jerkweeds bellowed dur- that’s gotten tangled up in this. There’s been a lot of ing play, which is unacceptable. This isn’t Cornell. “Thanks, McDonough,” sentiments as a result. But Sam Fels That’s NBA shit, and we won’t stand for it here. All it’s hardly his fault. Any winning team brings out the I ask of whatever happens now at Hawks games -- as bandwagon-jumpers and the scene-invaders (unless McDonough and Blunk will certainly change things you’re the Cubs, which McDonough managed to attract without the more than they already have -- is that nothing takes away from the winning). Look at the other tenants of the UC, the Bulls. Six cham- action on the ice. Maintain that, and I’ll live with the fucking Kiss- pionships and the sweater-crowd never left. You honestly going to Cam and bad, angry, modern rock that I put up with already. say there wasn’t a fair number of that crowd at Comiskey in 2006? Lie to yourself if you want, but not to me. Frankly, this is some- -Listening to Pat Foley has been a great intro into what it will be thing we’re just going to have to deal with, and probably for a long like when my father starts to lose it. How you confuse Byfuglien time. It’s the price of following a winning team. That being said, a and Bolland will be one of life’s great mysteries. wave shouldn’t ever happen. NHL STANDINGS *late game not included Eastern Conference Western Conference W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 Boston 40 11 8 88 197 133 19-4-4 21-7-4 1 San Jose 40 8 9 89 199 140 26-2-3 14-6-6 2 Washington 37 17 5 79 196 170 23-5-1 14-12-4 2 Scum 39 13 8 86 228 177 22-4-3 17-9-5 3 New Jersey 38 19 3 79 182 151 19-10-1 19-9-2 3 Calgary* 34 18 6 74 184 171 20-7-4 14-11-2 4 Philadelphia 31 17 9 71 189 169 17-8-3 14-9-6 4 HAWKS 34 15 8 76 193 141 15-4-5 19-11-3 5 Montreal 31 22 7 69 184 184 18-6-4 13-16-3 5 Vancouver 30 21 8 68 181 170 14-11-4 16-10-4 6 Florida 30 21 8 68 166 159 17-8-5 13-13-3 6 Columbus 30 24 6 66 165 169 19-10-2 11-14-4 7 Buffalo 31 23 6 68 179 168 17-11-2 14-12-4 7 Dallas 29 22 7 65 174 179 17-8-4 12-14-3 8 NY Rangers 31 23 6 68 149 167 18-9-3 13-14-3 8 Anaheim 29 27 5 63 173 177 15-13-3 14-14-2 9 Carolina 30 25 5 65 157 174 15-13-1 15-12-4 9 Minnesota 29 24 4 62 149 134 18-11-4 11-13-0 10 Pittsburgh 29 25 6 64 183 186 16-12-2 13-13-4 10 Edmonton* 29 25 4 62 163 179 13-11-3 16-14-1 11 Toronto 21 26 12 54 177 217 10-11-8 11-15-4 11 Los Angeles 25 24 9 59 155 170 13-13-8 12-11-1 12 Ottawa 22 27 9 53 144 168 12-10-5 10-17-4 12 Phoenix 27 28 5 59 156 184 17-12-2 10-16-3 13 Tampa Bay 19 28 12 50 148 188 10-12-8 9-16-4 13 Nashville 27 28 4 58 141 168 16-11-2 11-17-2 14 Atlanta 21 33 6 48 176 211 9-17-2 12-16-4 14 St.