A REBEL’S HANDBOOK DISRUPTING CAPITALISM FOR FUN AND PROGRESS IN 21 STEPS i A REBEL’S HANDBOOK DISRUPTING CAPITALISM FOR FUN AND PROGRESS IN 21 STEPS Version I: Released 84 years before the world’s oceans rise by a projected 1 to 4 feet.1 Dedicated to Thomas Paine; That words can spell revolution. Also dedicated to T-Pain; Let’s keep on grooving. © RebelsHandbook.com | 2016 Photos and sources are credited and cited in the Resources section on page 147. iv v WARNING his handbook includes the You are welcome to put the strategies occasional use of graphic contained within this handbook language and images. It is into action but do so at your own Tintended for adult audiences. All risk. Possible consequences may activities described herein should only include injury, death, and/or legal be engaged in at a participant’s own repercussions including but not limited risk. This handbook is not intended to to NSA surveillance, fines, or jail. Jail be viewed as instructions or directions really sucks. A Rebel’s Handbook does to engage in any particular acts. not recommend going to jail under most circumstances. Some of the actions in the handbook may be illegal in your hometown, You’re also invited to simply just state, or country. Laws vary widely peruse A Rebel’s Handbook and mull from place to place, and actions that this stuff over. Thanks to our First “YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU are legal in one state may be illegal in Amendment, there’s nothing illegal WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.” another. The author of this work is not about reading through a few outlandish a lawyer, has not reviewed the laws ideas…right? of all fifty states, and is not capable MAHATMA GANDHI of advising you on the law in your DISCLAIMER: ADDITIONAL jurisdiction. Laws also change over SAFETY CONSIDERATIONS time and in response to events. Make ARE OUTLINED MORE FULLY sure you know the risks of any actions IN THE FINE PRINT SECTION you are considering, and only act from ON PAGE 153. a place of knowledge and certainty. vi vii TABLE OF CONTENTS PREFACE: A CALL TO ARMS xi INTRODUCTION: REBEL ROADMAP 1 I. GET READY: REBEL SPEAK 5 • What: Capitalism 7 • Why: Things Suck 15 • When: Today, Climate Change 27 • Where: Sea to Shining Sea 39 • Who: Rebels and Non-Rebels 47 • How: Humor, Capitalism’s Kryptonite 51 II. GET SET: REBEL ROAR 61 • What: Rebel Heatsheet 63 • Dissent: Speak Out 69 • Combine Forces: Organize 79 • Crack Jokes: Punchy Pranks 91 “SATIRE IS TRADITIONALLY THE • Viva la Revolution: Create Change 103 WEAPON OF THE POWERLESS III. GO!: REBEL REVOLUTION 119 • America’s Last Revolution: AGAINST THE POWERFUL.” Rev. History 121 • America’s Climate Revolution: Make History 131 MOLLY IVINS EPILOGUE: A CALL FOR PEACE 143 RESOURCES: REBEL TOOLKIT 147 viii ix PREFACE A CALL TO ARMS “WE CANNOT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS WITH THE SAME THINKING WE USED WHEN WE CREATED THEM.” ALBERT EINSTEIN x xi DEAR FELLOW majority when it comes to public can I possibly do?” Or, “What way of These words are earnestly laid out CONCERNED discussions about the problems we face doing business could possibly better?” before you to help assuage any fears today, and I thought this silence meant And, “Can I succeed in enacting mean- you may have about our rebel fight. CITIZENS: us rebels were small in number. But I ingful change without making things Our path is one of nonviolence. As Have we really entered this chapter was wrong. worst?” such, we ask that you think twice be- of our nation’s history? A time when fore tacitly condoning tactics like tear I spent some time trekking around on Rebel forebears like George so many of us question if everything gas, surveillance, and imprisonment to the open road and during whispers of Washington, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, in the world is fair and flawless. An subdue our rebel jokes. change with friends around a campfire Dennis Banks, Harvey Milk, Cesar age where rebel handbooks are even And rebels – these words are ultimately or hushed conversations with strangers Chavez, Rosa Parks, and Dr. Martin written in the first place. And a day in written for each and every one of you at coffee shops and bars around the Luther King Jr. have demonstrated that the life when people actually entertain – penned with gratitude and love. You, world I learned this: there’s a global answers to questions like these can the notion of reading funny words such like me, know that the world has long landscape of discontent. Citizens indeed be realized. And many rebels in as these. had rebel gadflies, warning of social everywhere are unsatisfied with the the world today are actively following ills and political missteps. But you, like At this crossroads of our human status quo. in their very footsteps. me, have also witnessed that people history, many of us − be it deep in People have different bones to pick There are others who concede that today are growing increasingly numb our guts, peripheral vision, or daily in their complaints: we may focus on things today are not on the right track to gadfly bites. existence − sense that something in issues ranging from income inequality but still grapple with the “what can I the world is not quite right. That In these times of rising sea levels, (#occupy) to racial inequality (#black- do” and “what comes next” question. something has fallen out of whack. growing inequality, and increasing livesmatter) to climate change justice A Rebel’s Handbook is written for you armed conflict – perhaps what we need (#COP21). – the silent majority. In the pages that Today, A.D. 2016, there are people most is not the gadfly, but the buzzing who call us “thugs” for yelling rebel follow, we examine how capitalism In all the conversations I had, the basic of bees. The collective murmur of an words when we decry the needless is emblematic of today’s status quo concerns distill down to this: we’re entire species at risk of mass extinc- deaths of fellow citizens like Eric and why the topic merits immediate leery of our impotent government, tion. A collective awareness that we Garner, Michael Brown, and Sandra attention. We explain how humor our lives are being impacted by the people are awake and stand ready Bland. We are called “liars” and is capitalism’s kryptonite and walk dysfunctional economic conditions, for change. “troublemakers” each time we dare through 21 rebel jokes that can help and we’re anxious about the world’s to raise our voice about the need for lead to a brighter and more sustainable future. We’ve got different ideas about But we are ultimately neither flies that imminent climate change action. future. what problems in the world are most bite nor bees that sting. We the people are human. So let’s do one of the things Too often, our calls for peace and pressing, but our biggest area of A Rebel’s Handbook is also written we do best and laugh. Rebels: if at any love are met by riot police and tear agreement is this: things today are not for the people who doubt the credence point in this rebel struggle we stop gas. Yet, even in this fog of war, many on the right track. of our rebel fight. You may call us laughing, then we’re losing. rebels keep on marching – compelled liars and you may call us thugs, but What we share in frustration, some of forward by the indelible hope of a please remember that we are also your us lack in hope. It’s easy to get people In Solidarity, brighter tomorrow. neighbors and friends. We, like you, talking about what’s wrong in the are fellow citizens with the shared But our streets are far from filled with world, but there is trepidation when hope of life, liberty, and the pursuit of marchers. There has been a silent the dialogue turns toward actions and happiness. solutions. “I’m just one person, what xii xiii INTRODUCTION REBEL ROADMAP “THE HUMAN RACE HAS ONLY ONE REALLY EFFECTIVE WEAPON, AND THAT IS LAUGHTER.” MARK TWAIN xiv 1 Rebel’s Handbook is about By focusing on a topic so emblematic A REBEL’S HANDBOOK IS DIVIDED addressing a question that of our status quo and pinpointing its lots of people in the world biggest pressure point, the 21 tactics INTO THREE CORE PARTS: Aare asking today: “things suck, but contained within A Rebel’s Handbook what can I do about it?” In response, illustrate that it’s easier than someone this handbook offers 21 simple strat- might think to shift power from the egies aimed at disrupting widely held boss’s hands into the people’s hands. assumptions that dictate our status quo. In doing so, we demonstrate the PART I inherent power that we the people GET READY: REBEL SPEAK The goal of these 21 disruptions possess. is to 1) raise public awareness about Defines capitalism and explains why itis pressing issues like climate change something that’s worth disrupting in the first Funnily enough, it turns out that cap- and inequality, 2) demonstrate that place. Part I examines issues like inequality, italism’s biggest vulnerability is that the simple forces of fun and laughter climate change, and recent attacks on it has a terrible sense of humor. If the can be kryptonite for our formidable civil liberties. people are laughing and capitalists ar- status quo and, 3) catalyze inclusive en’t, that means we’re pushing hard on problem-solving towards a more capitalism’s pressure points and using sustainable future.