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THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2016 DAILYEMERALD.COM MUSIC AMATEUR IDOL KARAOKE IS A NIGHTLY AFFAIR IN EUGENE. Inside is a collection of local sing-along hotspots where you can have a drink and flex those pipes. BEST AND WORST SONGS FOR KARAOKE A NIGHT WITH SLAYER IN PORTLAND UCLA SERIES CRUCIAL FOR DUCKS SOFTBALL EAT. LAUGH. PRAY. (repeat as needed) Social Connections Discover the meaning of life through Christ *Coffee Houses *Engaging Masses St. Thomas More Newman Center... *Alternate Spring Break Catholic Campus Ministry Faith Community 1850 Emerald Street (across from hayward field) *Progressive Dinners *Meaniful Retreats *Charity Fund Raisers 346-4468 Societal Commitment http://www.newmanctr-uoregon.org *Sports Events *Guest Speakers e-mail: [email protected] *Social Service Projects Daily Specials! Happy Hour! $15 Brunch Friday-Sunday COLLEGE TIX W/ID Eugene’s Original Bloody Mary Bar THE GREAT GATSBY Friday - Sunday 9am - 2pm featuring music composed by Wynton Marsalis and performed by Orchestra Next SAT, APR 9 7:30 PM | SUN, APR 10 2:00 PM | Hult Center PLUS the premiere of Suzanne Haag’s Look opens each performance TICKETS eugeneballet.org | 541-682-5000 | UO Ticket Office agatealley.com | 541.485.8887 | 1461 E 19th Ave Take control of your sex life at 10% off Student Special valid March 28 - May 1 1655 W 11th Ave #1 The Pleasure Shop Eugene, OR 97402 (971) 266-8631 Lane Transit District LTD.org . 541-687-5555 50 W Broadway, Eugene OR 97401 LOCAL, 541-636-4731 GRASS FED & Sunday-Thursday 11AM-9PM FREE RANGE BEEF Friday & Saturday 11AM-12AM NEVER FROZEN Full Bar PAGE 2 EMERALD THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2016 ★EMERALD RECOMMENDS “A Hard Day’s Night” “Lose Yourself” by The Beatles by Eminem Every karaoke star hates standing around while the instrumental break rolls on. What Just so you know: no one wants to watch are you supposed to do up there? Dance? you mumble Eminem lyrics and stare at the Apologize? If guitar solos and extended ground. Ninety percent of karaoke singers intros are the bane of your existence, look THE BEST & who try this song will lose rhythm and no further than the Beatles. Part of what make a buffoon of themselves. Please do makes the early Beatles so fabulous is not rap Eminem at any karaoke night. You’d how much they cram into songs that last have better luck selecting “Method Man” less than three – and often less than two – WORST SONGS by Wu-Tang Clan (and that’s including the minutes, so you’ll probably be singing the intro with Method Man himself concocting whole time. Anything from their first four various grisly torture plans). albums will suffice. “A Hard Day’s Night” is my personal recommendation because dear God, that bridge. Invite a friend up to FOR KARAOKE “Africa” harmonize if you want. ➡ EMERSON MALONE & DANIEL BROMFIELD by Toto “Hakuna Matata” There are some sounds that will permanently offend your ears: the slow, by Elton John & Tim Rice squealing halt of a car with worn-out break Pretty much any Disney Renaissance Bartenders have heard it all, and they’re getting tired of it. You don’t have pads, the high-pitched whine of a dental song will do – Mulan’s “I’ll Make A Man Out Freddie Mercury’s pipes. You don’t have Adele’s gospel charm. No more drill, the slow swan song of a fire alarm Of You” is more or less the “Stairway To that’s low on batteries, marbles rubbing Heaven” of our generation – but this Lion “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Please, enough “Rolling in the Deep.” together and the beer-confident patron who King classic is a pleasant curveball. Those This week, the Emerald recommends the best and worst songs that you thinks they can power through the verses who know the words will sing along. Those of “It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away who don’t can always chuckle about the fact can sing at a karaoke bar. from youuuuuu!” This song is a practical that you’re singing from the perspective of joke for the karaoke circuit, since the first a flatulent warthog. It’s also not a terribly verses are sung in a standard tenor before technically difficult song, and it’s one you soaring to its soprano chorus: “I bless the can (literally) ham it up on. Don’t forget: ➡ FIND THE FULL HIGHS AND LOWS OF rains down in Aaaafricaaaa!” “When I was a young wart-hooooooog!” KARAOKE ONLINE AT EMRLD.CO/KARAOKEJAMS “Trap Queen” “Sister Christian” by Fetty Wap by Night Ranger With the exception of the intro and outro, Local karaoke bars have a duty to play Fetty Wap either sings or raps his guts out this one as often as possible. Supposedly, CORRECTION 3/28 ISSUE throughout this song. Yes, it’s a great drunk singer and drummer Kelly Keagy wrote this song, and it’s got one of the great hip hop song after visiting his little sister Christy, Monday’s edition included an article that incorrectly stated the goals of the ballot vocal performances of the decade. But you who was living in Eugene. Its dynamite (and measure put forth by OSPIRG. The article stated that, if passed, the measure would allow need eight lungs to get through this thing unintelligible) chorus, “Motoring / what’s student groups to request more funding by gathering signatures from 10 percent of the in karaoke. I’d recommend another Fetty your price for flight / for finding Mr. Right?” student body. In fact, if passed, the measure would amend the ASUO constitution to joint, maybe “My Way.” But what makes pulls from local lingo, wherein “motoring” allow student groups to choose to have their budgets determined by a ballot vote during Fetty Wap so frustrating at karaoke is how refers to driving around, picking up girls. regular elections. They would collect signatures to get their budgets on the ballot and need finely he toes the line between caterwauling This slow-burner power ballad will have a 50 percent majority vote for approval. The current system only allows budgets to be and all-out emotive singing. Here’s a good anyone in proximity sparking their lighters determined by way of finance committees and the senate. ASUO Senate can still modify the litmus test: if you’re too scared to do Adele, in solidarity. funding to prevent the incidental fee from exceeding the budget growth. A no vote would you probably shouldn’t try Fetty. leave that standard in place. The Emerald is NEWSROOM BUSINESS GET IN TOUCH published by Emerald EDITOR IN CHIEF DESIGN EDITOR NEWS EDITORS PUBLISHER, PRESIDENT & CEO EMERALD MEDIA GROUP Media Group, Inc., the DAHLIA BAZZAZ RAQUEL ORTEGA JENNIFER FLECK CHARLIE WEAVER X317 1222 E. 13TH AVE., #300 independent nonprofit LAUREN GARETTO EUGENE, OR 97403 PRINT MANAGING EDITOR DESIGNERS VP OPERATIONS media company at the NOAH MCGRAW 541.346.5511 COOPER GREEN JARRED GRAHAM KATHY CARBONE X302 University of Oregon. HALEY PETERSEN A&C EDITORS VOL. 117, ISSUE NO. 68 Formerly the Oregon DIGITAL MANAGING EDITOR STACY YURISHCHEVA EMERSON MALONE VP OF SALES AND MARKETING JACK HEFFERNAN CRAIG WRIGHT ROB REILLY X303 Daily Emerald, the news organization COPY CHIEF DANIEL BROMFIELD HIRING AND TRAINING DIRECTOR MELISSA RHOADS ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES was founded in 1900. EDITOR: [email protected] KAYLEE TORNAY NICOLE ADKISSON OPINION EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR PRINT: [email protected] AUDIENCE ENGAGEMENT DIRECTOR NICK CATANIA TANNER OWENS COLE ELSASSER WEB: [email protected] ON THE COVER KIRA HOFFELMEYER BEN GILBERTS SPORTS EDITORS VIDEO EDITOR The Eugene bar scene presents a TYLER HORST ADS: [email protected] JUSTIN WISE STACY YURISHCHEVA ESTUARDO PEREZ variety of ways to get your karaoke on. HAYDEN KIM TAYLOR BRADBURY Illustration by Jarred Graham. KENNY JACOBY TEDDY LACK SALLY CASEBEER CAITLIN MONAHAN PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY OF BILLBOARD, JUNIOR LIBBY, SHADY RECORDS THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2016 EMERALD PAGE 3 Evergreen South and North Indian Cuisine Open 7 days a week “Best All You Can Eat Buffet” Lunch: 11:30 - 2:30 by Eugene Weekly Dinner: 5 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. “Best Indian Restaurant” Lunch Buffet • Lunch boxes to go. by Register Guard 1525 Franklin Boulevard Eugene, Oregon 97403 Call: 541-343-7944 • Fax: 541-343-7866 www.evergreenindianrestaurant.com An Evening With SLAYER ➡ CRAIG WRIGHT, @WGWCRAIG On March 20, Emerald writer Craig pillars spanning from floor to ceiling – Wright sat down with Slayer’s Gary which were almost camouflaged by the Holt and Paul Bostaph for a half-hour impressive array of black T-shirts with interview prior to the band’s sold-out increasingly offensive block-letter show at Portland’s Roseland Theater. slogans. About 90 percent of these This is an excerpt from the complete shirts’ content cannot be re-printed feature story, which you can find online here. Anyone who has ever said at emrld.co/kingsofthrash. metalheads have no sense of humor is seriously misguided. Saturday Art Festival, Food Festival, The Roseland Theater made some The energy in the room was palpable precautionary measures on March 20; all night. Twenty minutes before Music Festival! patrons had to pass through a metal Carcass opened, fans in the balcony Market Every Saturday, 10 AM - 5 PM, detector and be patted down before began chanting for Slayer. 1 mile away at 8th & Oak the staff could even scan tickets. It “I have a good feeling about what’s was a gloomy overcast Portland day, going to snap off tonight,” Holt told and as I passed the die-hard fans who me. “I think it’s going to be fucking had lined up hours early, I noticed a nuts.