sign in sign up
<<
Home , Fake News Awards, Freedom Caucus, Mark Meadows

The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018 — Page 1 A Non-Fiction Newspaper First Class U.S. The New Hampshire Gazette Postage Paid Grab Me! I’m Free! Portsmouth, N.H. The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Vol. CCLXII, No. 11 Permit No. 75 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com Address Service Requested February 16, 2018

The Fortnightly Rant Everyone Loved a Parade fter a lifetime of lusting after began on the day of his birth, he may the superlative and superfi- be forgiven for failing to understand cial,A Donald J. Trump has finally that the intent of those who stormed attained a true distinction of his the Bastille was to decapitate people own: he will go down in history who sat on gilded chairs. as the nation’s pre-eminent Di- The U.S. military, the last time vider-in-Chief. This presumes, of anyone checked, seemed to have course, that the human race will rather a lot of items on its “To Do” somehow outlive his Presidency. list. For example, training new re- Who but Trump could turn a pa- cruits to finish off the war in Af- rade—ordinarily just a fatuous cele- ghanistan, which started when they bration of military pomposity—into were in diapers, or figuring out why a wedge to be driven into the body ships of the Seventh Fleet keep politic? Who else would? banging into things. So it seems fair Only the man who has recent- to ask, why a parade? ly done exactly the same thing to Since we are that rara avis, a truly football—which had, until recently, free newspaper, and since it would supplanted baseball as the national be a shame to waste such a pre- pastime. Quick—before the stock cious resource, we will employ that market stops gyrating and dies alto- freedom, here and now because we gether—dump your stock in Mom’s can, to declare unequivocally that Apple Pie, Inc. That could be his the only conceivable reason for this next victim! charade of a parade is to gratify the Trump’s original vision for his insatiable ego of the psychologi- Inaugural Parade included troops, cal catastrophe who unfortunately heart, took a simpler approach: offer What might the purported targets traditions of the military would un- tanks, rocket launchers, and a fly- occupies the lavish unit of public up a mawkish lie. “President Trump of all this appreciation think? One derstand that. Unfortunately, we do over by the Navy’s Blue Angels or housing located at 1600 Pennsylva- is incredibly supportive of America’s former Marine, who goes by @Top_ not have a commander in chief, right the Air Force’s Thunderbirds. As a nia Avenue, Washington, D.C. great service members who risk their Sergeant on , reported, “Was now, as much as we have a wannabe mere President-elect, his wish was Such a bald-faced statement lives every day to keep our coun- down at the [Senior Non-Commis- banana republic strongman.” Let’s denied. One year later, now that the would be a little too straightforward try safe,” she wrote in a statement. sioned Officer’s Club] tonight. I can call that another “No” vote, then. inevitable minor kinks of actual gov- for the typical corporate news orga- “He has asked the Department of tell you not one f___ing Marine was Two’s a pretty small sample, erning have all been ironed out, his nization to deliver comfortably. So, Defense to explore a celebration at interested in marching in Trump’s though. What say the uniformed thirst for vicarious glory has appar- pity the poor administration officials which all Americans can show their parade unless we’re dragging him services at large? Among them ently resurfaced. forced to defend a massive display of appreciation.” behind an Amtrac [Amphibious Trump’s approval rating is on the or- Last week re- military manpower and equipment Trump’s empathy glands welling Assault Vehicle.]” der of 60 percent—twice as high as ported that, during a Jan. 18 meeting marching down Ave- over with gratitude? The evidence As this violent imagery suggests, among civilians. MilitaryTimes.com “in the Pentagon’s tank — a room nue. suggests otherwise. The Daily Beast, enlisted men, even senior ones, have ran an online poll last week. There reserved for top-secret discussions,” The strain seems to have given citing three sources who were pres- been known to harbor latent an- were 51,000 respondents. surrounded by generals, Trump’s one poor anonymous White House ent, reports that the day before the ti-authoritarian tendencies. Their “The majority, 89 percent, re- “seemingly abstract desire for a pa- schlub a touch of schizophrenia. He Address, Trump views may therefore be suspect. So, sponded ‘No, It’s a waste of money rade was suddenly heard as a presi- told that the parade “would said to a small group, “Man, are you how about an officer’s opinion? and troops are too busy.’ dential directive … .” be ‘the opposite’ of totalitarian, be- a warrior—you’re a warrior! We’re all “The military is not Donald “The other 11 percent responded Trump was reportedly inspired by cause it would be a ‘celebration of warriors in this fight.” Trump’s to use and abuse in this ‘Yes, it’s a great opportunity to show the sight of a Bastille Day parade in the men and women who give us He was not talking, though, to a way,” according to retired U.S. Army off U.S. military might.’” last summer. Considering the freedom,’ but also said it would be bunch of jump-booted Rangers. He Maj. Gen. Paul Eaton, speaking for A parade would be an ominous enthusiasm it has generated among designed as a demonstration of was talking to “a who’s who of pro- VoteVets. “Our military is the very sign. If all the generals in the Oval his supporters, perhaps the term America’s strength and a ‘warning’ Trump surrogates and media com- best in the world—they are not to Office and the Pentagon can’t deny “cheese-eating surrender monkey” to the country’s enemies.” mentators, including cable-news be reduced to stagecraft to prop up Trump a parade, what hope is there will be retired from their lexicon. White House press secretary regulars Jason Miller, , ’s image. Any com- they’ll muster the courage to tell Because history, for the President, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, bless her and Jack Kingston.” mander in chief who respects the him he can’t nuke North Korea?

The Alleged News® Are You Ready For Some Democracy? t’s already February in an Democratic voters face a tough Former South Hampton Po- ity that although they share similar Leader. even-numbered year, which can choice in their primary. Whoever lice Chief and ex-top cop of the values, they’re all too ashamed to BallotPedia.com claims that Andy Ionly mean one thing—a Congres- they end up choosing on September State’s booze business, Dover’s Ed- admit it. Martin is also running for the seat. sional election is just nine months 11th, they’ll be forced to pass over die Edwards bills himself as mere- Sanborn was the lead of We have not been able to inde- away. This one should be a lot of a fistful of well-qualified candidates. ly a “strong conservative,” perhaps SB 465, the so-called “Red Tape Re- pendently verify that; but we believe fun: for the first time since 2002, The good news for them—we’re making him more electable. He duction Act.” Now tabled, it was the it nonetheless, because the name the First District seat is wide open. strictly neutral, of course—is that has a direct connection to the office Senate’s version of HB 1762, which, Andy Martin is a synonym for This will be the first race in 12 they should end up with a winner in he seeks, but it may not help him according to the American Friends “also ran.” He also ran against Scott years without Carol Shea-Porter. the November 6th general election. much: he was director of communi- Service Committee, “would (in part) Brown in the 2014 U.S. Senate pri- A complete self-starter who came The GOP side seems to have the ty relations for the disgraced Frank change child labor laws to get more mary, losing to Scott Brown. He also out of nowhere by way of Rochester, opposite problem. Their list of can- Guinta. teenagers into the workforce, make ran for the Second District primary she built her base the old-fashioned didates is pretty short, but, even so, That brings us to State Senator tip pooling involuntary in restau- in 2016, coming in fourth with 7.3 way, knocking on doors. In 2006, she there don’t seem to be enough cre- Andy Sanborn [District 9], who rants, enable employers to get away percent of the vote. unseated a two-term Republican dentials to go around. brings a certain amount of pizzazz with wage theft, and give rulemak- We had fervently hoped that incumbent in a district that had not Mark Hounsell, as a Carroll to the party. The Draft, his sports bar ing authority on wages, hours, and by press time Dover resident and elected a Democrat in 24 years. Un- County Commissioner and for- and restaurant in Concord, report- child labor to the legislature.” William “Bill” Binnie factotum seated by a remarkably unscrupulous mer State Senator, seems to have edly has drink holders at the uri- Sanborn has a history of getting Matt Mayberry would have offi- Republican, she refused to accept cornered the Republican market nals—a detail that meshes well with his name in the news for reasons cially announced his candidacy for defeat or compromise her progres- for gravitas. However, as a self-de- his pronounced libertarian streak. that don’t inspire confidence, e.g., the Republican nomination. Alas, sive politics, and fought a now-leg- scribed paleoconservative who has Sanborn’s critics are dying to con- “N.H. legislator threatens constitu- poor Yorick, the First District’s endary series of electoral battles. If called former Governor Meldrim nect him to the Free State Project. ent who wants pot legalized,” in the own Hamlet has yet to make up his Representatives wore numbered jer- “Ax the Tax” Thomson Jr. his mentor, To the best of our knowledge, nei- Boston Globe, and “Andy Sanborn seys, hers would deserve to be lifted he may find that his shelf life in this ther he nor they will admit to any says ‘crass language’ sparked state The Alleged News® to the rafters. District has expired. actual links. This raises the possibil- Senate investigation,” in the Union to page two Page 2 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018

The Alleged News® As the only truly, fully free news- from page one paper in the District, we feel both privileged and humbled. If the Dis- mind. Too busy scrutinizing arcane trict comes out of this represented by Postal Service regulations to make a a stooge, some of the blame falls on commitment, perhaps. us. On the basis of our circulation, of Running a similarly ghostly cam- course, this statement is utterly lu- paign, at least according to Bal- dicrous. Given the nature of politics lotPedia, is the mysterious Shawn these days, though, the fear of ap- O’Connor. The self-proclaimed pearing ludicrous is hardly an excuse self-made test-prep millionaire for inaction. blew in from and spent Turning to Environmental News … bunches of money in the 2016 race. “This Mutant Crayfish Clones First, as a Democrat, he challenged Itself, and It’s Taking Over Europe” Shea-Porter in the primary. Failing — a recent headline. to adequately answer the question The Latest in Faith Healing “who invited you,” he never de- “Trump Adviser Gloria Copeland veloped much traction. A flurry of Said Flu Shots Aren’t Necessary If unsubstantiated charges and count- A Person Just Has Faith” — another er-charges about domestic violence recent headline. didn’t help him. Ditching his Dem- Can Anyone Give WSCA a Lift? ocratic affiliation, he then ran as an Working on the theory that one Independent, raking in more than never knows, we inquire on behalf of nine percent of the vote. There is no our friends at WSCA, Portsmouth evidence he was running as a spoiler, Community Radio: who has access but if he had been, he would have to a construction crane? done it all right—except for losing, Technicians at the station would of course. like to replace a connector on the

tower in Newington. It would be a ever asking to see the relevant files. He Grissom later said, “After the two-hour job for an 80-foot crane, took the view that many things sorted flight our superiors at NASA let we’re told, but just a 20-minute job themselves out on their own if one did us know in no uncertain terms that for a 100-footer. not interfere ... He let people tell him non-man-rated corned beef sand- With all the construction work things he wanted to hear, everything wiches were out for future space going on in this town, somebody else he rejected ... How can one tell missions. But John’s deadpan offer is booking this sort of equipment. someone the truth who immediately of this strictly non-regulation goodie Here’s a chance for them to earn gets angry when the facts do not suit remains one of the highlights of our some good karma. Call (603) 430- him?” flight for me.” 9722, or email [email protected]. — Fritz Wieldemann, German Among the exhibits in the Gris- –=≈=– soldier and Nazi party activist, in his som Memorial Museum in Mitch- Surely a Mere Coincidence book, Der Mann der Feldherr Werden ell, Ind., is a corned beef sandwich, “[He] normally appeared short- Wollte, describing the work habits of embedded in acrylic. ly before lunch, quickly read through Adolf Hitler. –=≈=– … press cuttings, and then went into –=≈=– Robinsons Crash in Quebec, Australia lunch. So it became more and more R.I.P. John Young Three people, including a father difficult for … to get him to make de- John Watts Young, the only and his daughter, were killed on cisions which he alone could make as person to have piloted and been February 1st when their Robinson Head of State … When [he] stayed at commander of all four classes of R44 helicopter crashed in a field just Need a place to flop between shifts washing dishes? Truck on down to the … it was even worse. There he never manned American spacecraft, died north of Drummondville, Quebec, former Connie Bean Center, where kids from all economic backgrounds left his room before 2 p.m. Then he went last month, aged 87. according to TheStar.com. Drum- used to play basketball for free. Privatized and rebranded as The Army straight to lunch. He spent most after- Young flew with Virgil “Gus” mondville is about 60 miles north of Navy Building at Piscataqua Landing, it includes a 2 bedroom, 1,550 foot noons … , in the evening straight after Grissom on the three-orbit Gem- Montreal. The cause of the accident unit which is now available for just … what? We didn’t believe it when dinner there were … He disliked the ini 3 mission of March 23, 1965. had not been determined at press we saw it on Portsmouth Herald reporter Elizabeth Dinan’s Twitter study of documents. I have sometimes During the flight, Young handed time. feed, but we checked on Trulia, and it’s truly true. The rent on this unit is secured decisions from him, even ones Grissom a corned beef sandwich Between the Quebec crash and a $4,305 a month. about important matters, without [his] which he had smuggled aboard. previously-reported crash in New-

Enjoy Outdoor Dining on our Patio! Don’t just give a gift. North River Woodworks Give a unique newspaper — Portsmouth, NH — (603) 682-4443 every other Friday for a year. Gift subscriptions - page 5. Local Craftsmanship

241 Hanover Street, Portsmouth, N.H. (603) 373-8981 — bubbysdeli.com Open 7 days a week from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Where Memorable Meals Come Naturally. no matter what day of the week.

Lafayette Plaza, Route 1, Portsmouth, 422-6758 • Mon - Sat 8am - 8pm, Sun 10am - 6pm The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018 — Page 3 port Beach, Calif. on January 30th, reading to promote reflection on six people died in Robinson heli- a person in the African American copters in less than 48 hours. Prior community who has shaped New to that, the brand apparently had a Hampshire’s history. Their hope is fatality-free period of 14 days, be- that those reflections will help the tween January 16th and 30th. congregation to use Lent as a time A Robinson R22 helicopter to broaden their knowledge, to say crashed in Bankstown, Australia on prayers in a way that assists in repen- Sunday, February 11th. The machine tence and fosters appreciation of the was flying at low altitude; parts were contributions of those named. scattered along a 130-foot swath. The Black Heritage Trail of New The tail section separated entirely, Hampshire invited us to write about but a flight instructor and student Primus. Being deeply in his debt, we suffered only minor injuries. were honored to oblige with the fol- –=≈=– lowing item, scheduled for the 9th This Lent, Think of Primus day of Lent, February 22nd: The Episcopal Diocese of New According to the laws and cus- Hampshire, which has earned a toms of his place and time, Primus reputation for relative enlighten- was, in a very literal sense, a man ment, decided that each day in Lent of no account. As a black African this year, beginning Feb. 14th, Ash in 18th century New England, he Wednesday, they would offer a short could be, and he was, considered to

be mere property in the eyes of the disagreement over “The Monster which in this case, was evidently the law. of Monsters,” a scurrilous satirical wrong side.” Through nods and ges- Thousands of others who suffered pamphlet. Under interrogation, tures, Daniel tried to get Primus to that intolerable condition lived and Daniel admitted that Primus—”my exchange places. died in utter obscurity. Not Primus. Negro”—may have been involved in “At last [Daniel] whispered, ‘Go For thirty years or more he was the printing of “the Monster.” to the other side,’ expecting to be made to pull the lever of a wooden We know this story because promptly obeyed in so slight and common press, forcing blank pa- Daniel published a pamphlet about reasonable a request; but, to his sur- per to accept black-inked type, in being locked up in Boston’s “stone prise and that of the bystanders, Pri- the process printers call making an gaol.” Its tone was indignant rather mus screamed out, ‘Go tudder side impression. That work made an im- than jocular, but there’s irony in its ye’se’f, ye mean jade.’ The master of pression on him; it bent his back so, title: a slave-owning man complain- course complied, and the procession he could not stand upright. ing about “A Total Eclipse of Lib- moved off.” But, though he was dealt a life of erty.” Primus didn’t even own his own drudgery, and though he died cen- Daniel, Lydia, and Primus soon body, but he knew who he was— turies ago, still, something of Primus moved to Portsmouth, where Daniel and so did those around him. On lives on today. The world did its best established the province’s first print his death in 1791, he achieved a to crush him, but he left his impres- shop. Lydia died at 36, in 1761. It unique distinction for an enslaved sion on the world. was at her funeral that we begin to black man: he was eulogized in the Primus first appears in 1730, his see Primus as more than a cipher. very paper over whose pages he had purchase noted in the account book According to Portsmouth printer once labored. While on routine patrol of the internet, the normally-unflappable Flag of Hugh Hall. Before, and for two Charles Brewster’s Rambles About He may even have left undiscov- Police were staggered to discover Trumpy Bear,™ a stuffed toy made in the decades after, his life is a mystery. Portsmouth, Primus “mourned the ered surprises, waiting for us yet. image of a sitting President. The use of his image was not the issue; if your When Hall’s daughter Lydia mar- loss of his mistress, and called her an In 2015, a Dartmouth librarian, aim is to produce dreck auf dem teller, he’s a perfect model. Their concern ried the printer Daniel Fowle, Pri- old fool for dying.” inspecting a broadsheet printed in was what it’s stuffed with: an “ultra cozy flag-themed blanket.” Skeptical mus was, apparently, Lydia’s dowry. Tobias Ham Miller, yet another Daniel’s shop, discovered, written in that anyone would actually carry out such an outrage, the Flag Code Cops A few years after the marriage, printer, gives a fuller account: Pri- a faded but elegant hand, the words, checked to see if Trumpy Bear™ was real. He is. And he’s busted. So is Daniel and the Massachusetts mus “inadvertently got on the right “Prime [sic] Fowle a man of hand- Wayne King, owner of Exceptional Products in Dallas, . legislature fell into acrimonious hand [of the funeral procession], some color 1760.” Page 4 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018

An Anonymous Coward Writes … EverSource Arrogance [Note: The following note was care- To the Editor: fully written in an admirably-legible Martin Murray, spokesman for hand on a closely-trimmed subscription Northern Pass, said, “We are shocked form. The only distinguishing features on and outraged by today’s SEC out- the envelope were the postmark; Man- come.” He continued, “Clearly, the chester, N.H., February 5th, and a flag SEC process is broken.” state at the beginning of its newscasts. sticker upon which was written, “God In other words: How dare the Throughout my years in the State Save America!”. Unfortunately it was members of the SEC (site evaluation Senate, 1990-2004, when I chose not unsigned, hence our salutation.] committee) not do as we command! to run again, it was clear that PSNH Federal Downshifting To Steven Fowle, Editor, 1/20/18 And all seven of them! (now calling itself Eversource in the To the Editor: I wouldn’t subscribe to your Gazette As a surprising number of people same spirit of obvious omnipotence) Hey, Main Street, why the long Democrats Get Crazier by the Day even if it was free!! Instead of being still remember, I’ve been involved in always saw itself standing above all face? The Federal Government just To the Editor: fair & unbiased, I find it extremely bi- New Hampshire politics and govern- other economic interests in New slashed your Federal Income Tax while Within hours of Chelsea Manning ased & extremely one-sided, as is eas- ment for decades, including 14 years Hampshire. We mere legislators were proposing a massive spending pro- announcing her candidacy for a Sen- ily seen from your “notes” at the end from 1990-2004 in the State Senate. to know where the real power lay; not gram to mend America’s crumbling atorial seat in the State of , of the readers correspondence letters. One constant has been the role of with the people we were elected to infrastructure. You have every reason running against the Democrat Ben Pres. Donald Trump has the best in- PSNH/Eversource. That entity has al- serve but with them. The arrogance to cheer! Cardin, establishment Democrats ac- terests of America, yet he is constant- ways seen New Hampshire simply as was always simply astounding. Regret- Or do you? According to Trump, we cused her of being a tool of Vladimir ly criticized by folks like you & all all something which they own and control, tably some in the House and Senate can with- Putin, adding this nonsense to prior the other “bird brains”of the liberal and that we are there for them to profit did dutifully perform for them. out increasing the income tax by even claims that old Vlad, among other left-wingers. You folks are indeed the handsomely from. Our role is so serve Now despite the widespread, truly a single dime. All we need do is cough things, influenced Brexit, as well the “deplorables”!! Shame on you!! You their interests, period. They can’t imag- bipartisan resistance from every cor- up billions in new state and local taxes Catalonian bid for independence, and indeed are “foul;” Mr. Fowle. You don’t ine how we can dare to question them. ner of the state, they pushed on re- to pay the bill! Merkel’s poor showing in her election deserve to be an American!! My history goes back to the 1970s lentlessly for Northern Pass. It really Oops, there goes that extra $10 in along with her inability to form a gov- A one-time-only reader. when they insisted nuclear power is impressive that the one thing that last week’s pay check—and a whole lot erning coalition. Dear Anonymous Coward: would be “too cheap to meter” and united Democrats and Republicans, more! Of course, here in New Hamp- Are they so deranged that they be- Thank you very much for writing. One despite all readily available econom- Bernie supporters and Trump sup- shire, robbing Peter to pay Paul is a lieve President Obama commuted of the few chronic disappointments in ic logic and reason, they insisted on porters, was our determined resistance time-honored tradition. Manning’s sentence in order for her this job is the paucity of hate mail. Thus, squandering, oh, about a billion dollars to what would have been just a giant Could this infrastructure proposal to be available to carry out Putin’s plot though surely against your will, you have in the folly of Seabrook One and Two, extension cord between Quebec and be a Trump nothing-burger predes- to unseat Ben Cardin? Are they really brought us great joy. one of which sits rusting in a perfect Massachusetts with very little benefit tined to die in Congress? Or, in lieu willing to go this far out of fear of the In addition, you have given us a sol- memorial to PSNH’s headlong rush to New Hampshire, and much risk of adequate local funding from cash- person whose only offense was to re- id, concrete bit of evidence which reveals into this incredibly expensive folly. and disruption to the environment. strapped states, could its implementa- veal American war crimes? the sort of thinking belief system which, They tried to saddle us with their So now they are apoplectic. What, tion lead to a selloff of the American Furthermore, these are the same through systemic distortions in the na- now infamous and shameful Con- we don’t get our way? How dare you commons to private investors? We people who claim Donald Trump tion’s power structure, makes it possible struction Work in Progress charge: lowly people of New Hampshire par- should keep in mind that, under cor- lacks the temperament, the knowl- for a greedy minority to exploit the rest of forcing us, the captive customers, to ticipate in decisions which we should porate law, the private sector is respon- edge, and the experience, to be Pres- us for their own gain. pay for their really dumb choices. of course dictate! sible only to shareholder value. Will ident of the United States, yet they That bit of evidence is now semi-per- Luckily we had a governor, Hugh The recent 7 to 0 decision by the Wall Street investors really care about have no problem with increasing his manently enshrined, by means of a cheap Gallen, and a legislative effort led by SEC should put a stop to their lat- hapless motorists dodging potholes on ability to spy on Americans without Saunders clipboard made in Winthrop, Chris Spirou, who heroically put the est of a long string of greed-driven corporate-owned freeways and bridg- the need for warrants. Maine, on the wall of our editorial war- interests of the citizens above the bla- projects. Then again, back in 1989, es? Don’t hold your breath! And, when Too bad the Constitution does not ren. It is our intention, in the unlikely tant greed of PSNH. a decision by the Atomic Safety and that automated billing statement ar- permit an entire party to be impeached event that this venerable journal someday They managed to build one of their Licensing Appeal Board stopped the rives, don’t forget to pay your tolls. and removed by reason of insanity. The ceases to exist, to transfer ownership to the two atom-splitters and as a result we white elephant at Seabook. Of course Welcome to Trump Land, where Democratic Party would certainly . pay some of the highest electric rates PSNH pressed on, and they long ago one hand giveth an inch while the qualify. You, of course, will never read this re- in the nation. And now they have the began operations, and now even they other take-eth a mile! John Dente ply. No matter. We make it a practice to audacity to insist that the regulators al- recognize it was a costly error. The les- Rick Littlefield Wilmington, Del. assume that no one ever reads anything. low them to keep it running long after son is they do not give up when a lot of Barrington, N.H. John: That way it’s always a pleasant surprise its safety mandated retirement date. money is at stake. Rick: You may be onto something here. when we discover that someone has. Of course they are apoplectic at The recent SEC decision halting We are disturbed at the tone of your let- Let’s impeach both parties. Republi- Because you have brightened our fort- this decision on their Northern Pass the Northern Pass project was a great ter. What reasons have Mr. Trump, the cans deserve such treatment for obvious night immeasurably, we sincerely hope scheme. victory, but as history shows, we can Republican Congress, and Wall Street reasons; Democrats for failing to pre- that you never suffer the full effects of the Perhaps you too have noticed that never let down our guard. ever given you to doubt the purity of their vail against such an obvious cabal of government you so fervently desire. the letters “PSNH” are the only ones Burt Cohen motives? greed-mongers. The Editor on WMUR’s artistic image of the New Castle, N.H. The Editor The Editor

Spreading Truth, Humor, and Love Don’t just give a gift. Give a unique newspaper — The Devil’s Post every other Friday for a year. On your laptop at: Gift subscriptions - page 5. 163 Islington St ≈ 436-7330 TheDevilsPost.org

Acupuncture, Cranial Sacral Therapy, JACKSON’S HARDWARE Murph’s Fortnightly Quote & Shiatsu 56 Route One Bypass Kittery, Maine “The poor were wise, 207.439.1133 who, by the rich oppressed, Withdrew, and sought a secret place of rest.” Pam Bailey (603) 828-6759 100 YEARS STRONG — Juvenal

Not Your Gather, Everyday Relax, The New Hampshire Mexican Unwind Gazette is the most economical Cuisine advertising medium on the Seacoast. This space is available for just sixteen 37 Bow Street Portsmouth, NH 2 Ceres Street Portsmouth, NH dollars. To learn more, (603) 431-5967 (603) 433-2373 call (603) 433-9898, or e-mail www.pocosnh.com www.twoceresstreet.com [email protected]. The New Hampshire Gazette, February 16, 2018 — Page 5

of time to catch up on current events not the press.” via NHPR, including the big story of Wayne H. Merritt the day which was #45’s “Highly An- Dover, N.H. ticipated 2017 Fake News Awards.” –=≈=– Much of NHPR’s coverage of the “Who’s Behind This ?” story provided commentary delivered Dear Editor: Unfortunately this country has a hard on the Senate floor by Republican I would like to attempt to answer time dealing with the blatantly obvious. Senator Jeff Flake, who, appealing to the question, “Who’s Behind This The Editor his deafeningly silent and complic- Freedom Caucus?” [asked by Gene have the President and the Republi- –=≈=– it Republican colleagues, asserted, Murphy in our paper of February How Low Can They Go? can Congress discredit one of our key Needed: Right Wing Conspiracy Theorists “Donald Trump’s use of the terms 2nd]. To the Editor: intelligence agencies. I thought giving To the Editor: ‘fake news’ and ‘enemy of the people’ Presently I’m afraid I have to plead As Mueller gets closer to Trump, aid and comfort to our enemies was a On Friday, Feb. 2, Devin Nunes, is shameful and reminiscent of words guilty, Gene, it’s my Congressman, there seems to be no bottom to the crime. Chair of the House “Intelligence” used by Joseph Stalin to describe his , a 3rd-term Republi- depths Republicans will sink to pre- Trump knows exactly what Mueller Committee, released “The MEMO” enemies. Trump has it precisely back- can from the 11th District of North vent a complete investigation into the knows and what he will find if he is at the request of Donald J. Trump. A ward. Despotism is the enemy of the Carolina, a rather large district in the Russian attack on our election and allowed to continue his investigation. few hours later the Dow Jones Indus- people, while a free press is the des- western mountains. I had my picture the possible collusion by the Trump He knows the consequences if his long trial Average plunged 666 points—the pot’s enemy and a guardian of democ- taken with him once, I’m sure it’s glued campaign. For Trump and the Re- suspected criminal financial dealings, sign of Satan! racy.” to a circular piece of cork-board and publicans who claim total innocence, Russian Mob connections, and sordid Coincidence? Not likely. Meanwhile, the word was that #45 used as a dart target in his office. they are going to very extreme lengths personal behavior are fully disclosed. This proves beyond a doubt that had declared and Meadows is Chairman of the Free- to prevent the truth of their innocence In his most recent actions to repay Donald J. Trump and Satan are one the Washington Post two of the winners dom Caucus (the Tea Party on Ste- from being disclosed. Congressman Putin, Trump has failed to place new and the same. This cannot be a coin- of his ignominious awards, immedi- roids). He’s 58, born in Verdun, France Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), Chairman sanctions on Russia, as required by a cidence! It is so obvious! It’s as clear ately reminding me of the need to see (don’t blame the French), has an AA of the House Intelligence Committee, law passed by the Republican House as PizzaGate, where it was “proven” Steven Spielberg’s new film, The Post, Degree from the University of South- released a memo, with White House 419-3 and the Republican Senate 98- that Hillary and other high ranking which I made a point of doing that ern , and is a Realtor by trade. blessings, that basically accuses the 2. in 2017. One can only speculate as Democrats were running a child sex evening. He gained access to the House of FBI and the Justice Department of to why Mr. Trump has decided not to ring out of the basement of a DC A highly poignant moment of Representatives in 2012 after the last abusing the Foreign Intelligence Sur- obey this law, but it takes little imagi- pizza parlor—a pizza parlor with no Spielberg’s timely and important census and the successful gerryman- veillance Act (FISA) process when nation to see the connection between basement. The missing basement just film was the reading, by one of the dering and subsequent takeover of our it eavesdropped on Carter Page, a the Russian activities, their knowledge shows how devious Hillary is! Post staffers, of Supreme Court Jus- legislature by Republicans, making the Trump campaign staff member who of Trump’s financial and personal ac- This is at least as believable as the tice Hugo Black’s concurring opin- 11th District a “safe” seat temporarily. was meeting with Russian Intelligence tivities and Trumps obsession with the Trump-promoted “Birther Conspira- ion in New York Times Co. v. United I say “temporarily” because the ger- agents as far back as 2013. Mueller investigation. cy” that gave him his political start. States (decided in favor of the Times rymandering has been in the courts The four-page is Unlike Watergate, when we had In case you forgot, “The MEMO” and Post) which read, “In the First for years and, with Trump on the based on a detailed classified FISA Republicans of character, integrity was supposed to PROVE that a Re- Amendment, the Founding Fathers ropes politically and personally, the warrant that Nunes has admitted he and patriotism, like , publican-led Justice Department (a gave the free press the protection it Dems stand a half decent chance of has never seen. The warrant in ques- and Lowell Weicker in Congress to Trump appointee) and a Republi- must have to fulfill its essential role in putting back in the tion is actually the second or third re- defend the country, we now have the can-led FBI Director (a Trump ap- our democracy. The press was to serve blue column come November. This is newal of the original warrant issued in likes of Devin Nunes, , and pointee) and a Republican-appointed the governed, not the governors … In a state where registered Democrats 2016 because of the ongoing concern Mitch McConnell, who are willing to Special Prosecutor colluded to rig the my view, far from deserving condem- and registered Unaffiliated voters each of Mr. Page’s contact with Russian betray their oaths and the nation to Russia/Trump investigation—to aid nation for their courageous reporting, outnumber registered Republicans. agents. As such, a FISA judge found protect Donald Trump. These men, the Democrats. Even with Nunes’ alt- the New York Times, the Washington Only through were sufficient evidence to issue the original and many others supporting them will facts, it fell far short. Post, and other newspapers should be Republicans able to wrest both Sen- FISA warrant and to renew it as many be treated harshly when the history of Where are those right-wing con- commended for serving the purpose ate seats and 10 of the 13 House seats as three times. The FBI warned prior this subversion is recorded. Hopefully spiracy theorists when there’s such a that the Founding Fathers saw so in Congress. I predict that will end in to the memo’s release that it had “grave justice does not wait for history. When juicy story? Neither Breitbart or Fox clearly. In revealing the workings of November, with or without the courts’ concerns” about its release and that the Trump goes down, he will take a de- carried the Satan connection! government that led to the Vietnam intervention. memo had serious omissions of fact. serving Republican Party with him. Disappointing. War, the newspapers nobly did pre- In addition to his awesome respon- They also expressed concerns that the The only remaining question is will Michael Frandzel cisely that which the Founders hoped sibilities as Chair of The Freedom release could damage national security they take the entire nation down with Portsmouth, N.H. and trusted they would do.” Caucus and one of Trump’s favorite by providing certain methods, means them? –=≈=– So, when #45 attacks the press, a yes men, Meadows is also on the For- and sources of intelligence gather- Rich DiPentima, LTC USAF, Ret. New York Times Co. v. United States la Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon, it’s eign Affairs and the Oversight and ing, which could put these sources in Portsmouth, N.H. To the Editor: incumbent upon us to heed Flake’s Government Reform Committees, danger. What a gift to Putin and our Rich: A recent round-trip drive up north admonishment, “When Trump calls other adversaries: show them our in- When you lay out the facts like that, it to scenic Great Glen Trails for some news stories he doesn’t like ‘fake news,’ Hate Mail, &c. telligence gathering techniques, and does look rather suspect. snowshoe running afforded me plenty he should be the figure of suspicion, to page six

Discover Portsmouth We design. History, Arts, & Culture! We print. New Hampshire Gazette Subscriptions Seacoast Sculpture exhibition, We print your design. 26 Fortnightly Issues, Now Mailed First Class walking tours, museum shop p P Mail this form with your check for $25 to: New Hampshire Gazette, PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802. Please print clearly. Offer good in U.S. only. DIGITAL / OFFSET / LETTERPRESS n phineasgraphics.com Portsmouth Historical Society, est. 1917 Supporting Subscribers Only: Please Check Box at Right: Supporting 10 Middle Street Portsmouth 603-436-4402 / 108 Penhallow (Supporting Subscribers pay the standard $25/yr, but make their open daily 9:30-5 p.m. in historic downtown Portsmouth money go twice as far for us by picking up their own papers (603) 436-8433 Portsmouthhistory.org phineas at one of our many convenient locations.) Subscriber

First Name: Sometimes Old is Good

The Fechheimer Building, one of the fin- Last Name: est examples of a cast-iron facade in Port- land, Oregon, was built in 1885. Listed in A Constantly-Changing Selection the National Register of Historic Places, Street Address: of it was restored in 1981 by Russell Fellows New & Used Books Properties, the principals of which enjoy a in both subscription to this newspaper. Town, City, or Burg: Hard Cover & Paperback Your Coffee, Ice Cream, Children & Pets Are All Welcome State: Zip Code: + 4: Store Hours Mon - Sat: 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Sun: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. Gift Of: (Where Applicable) Page 6 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018

The Northcountry Chronicle Not Quite Pa Ingalls by William Marvel he spent most of his career. An auditor might have been in- widely credited. Corporal James Questions arose about his conduct terested in how well Ingalls always Brown of the 5th Maine, a Brown- he towns of northern Carroll wherever he went. In 1849, at Fort lived, with his own carriages and field native, noticed that Ingalls County never built monu- Vancouver in Washington Territo- a succession of young “servants,” assigned quartermaster positions mentsT to their Civil War veterans, ry, Ingalls conspired with company even when only drawing a captain’s to three brothers he knew from perhaps because so many of the commanders to furlough some of pay. For many years Ingalls shared Brownfield’s Bean family. The most residents opposed the war. Just their men so they could build store- a house with Alfred Pleasonton, profitable spot went to Sylvanus across the border in Maine, it was houses for Ingalls at high-market another army officer who—like -In Bean. The Beans “know where the a different story. In 1911 Brown- local wages. The soldiers, who could galls—never married and had a du- money is to be made,” wrote Cor- field dedicated a bronze statue of have been ordered to do the work at bious personal reputation. poral Brown, “and they are bound Private Daniel Bean, a local boy their regular monthly pay, also drew In 1855, Ingalls served as quar- to get rich out of this war.” Brown killed at Cold Harbor, and two those exorbitant contractor wages. It termaster for an army expedition added that it was a pity their father years later neighboring Denmark was a common scam in that era for surveying roads through Utah. The was too old to come down “to help raised a marble monument of a a quartermaster to take hefty kick- battalion wintered over at Salt Lake the boys to plunder uncle Sam,” for more generic Civil War soldier. backs from such duplicate compen- City, where the coercive new prac- he believed the old man “would be The two memorials share a loose sation, and there was no other reason tice of polygamy drove many girls the bigest thief of them all.” but intriguing connection. to make the government pay twice and young women (some of whom Private Daniel Bean In 1861, Sylvanus had taken his The Denmark monument, at for that labor. were already married) to throw Photo by Matthew Brady son Daniel into the army with him the junction of Route 160 and Bull At Fort Vancouver, Ingalls lived themselves at soldiers in a desper- when the boy was only 15, keeping Ring Road, sits directly opposite the in a house he had built at govern- ate effort to escape. In April, the have depended partly on how pure him safe by using him as a quarter- farmhouse where Rufus Ingalls was ment expense, inviting his class- 36-year-old Ingalls was indicted by Rachael was when she climbed into master’s clerk. Orders from above born in August of 1818—or Au- mate, Lieutenant Grant, to be his the U.S. attorney for Utah Territory his buggy. If there was ever a trial, sent Daniel back to his regiment gust of 1819 or 1820, depending on roommate for the winter of 1853. on a charge of “abducting” Rachael Ingalls did not stick around for it. early in 1864. Because Ingalls was which of his claimed birthdates one That association served him very Nowell, a Mormon girl who was not Before Grant took the high com- not powerful enough to have those believes. His father, who was a mer- well when Grant took command of yet 14 years old, and trying to take mand in 1864, the provost marshal orders rescinded, young Bean was chant as well as a farmer, got him the entire U.S. Army in 1864, and her and another girl to California. general of the Army of the Potomac killed in his first battle and thus be- appointed to West Point in 1839, Ingalls became chief quartermaster Ingalls wrote to the girl’s mother, suspected Ingalls of fraudulent col- came the subject Brownfield’s iconic from which he graduated toward for all the armies in . Mostly expressing his surprise that she ob- lusion with “Fat Andy” Hepburn, Civil War statue. It was funded at the bottom of the class of 1843, well because of his sponsorship by Grant, jected to Rachael going off with the who was notorious as a conniving least in part by money from Syl- below Ulysses Grant. Like his father, who was notoriously naive about expedition. He added that he was sutler—that is, a storekeeper for vanus Bean’s considerable estate, Ingalls was quite a wheeler-dealer, his more corrupt associates, Ingalls returning her “as pure in every re- soldiers. The provost marshal never which was augmented by the profits and he gravitated naturally to the eventually became the quartermas- spect as when she left the city,” but caught Ingalls red-handed, but the Ingalls helped him accrue. Quartermaster Department, where ter general of the entire U.S. Army. the comfort of that assurance might quartermaster’s peculations were –=≈=– from page five don’t ever want to be the target of an making it all the more important we FBI investigation—especially if you bounce Meadows in November. I’m have something to hide! To my re- on it … . lief, the FBI totally ignored me and David L. Snell radio’s speaker comes a voice, au- cartoonist for The New Hampshire, my petty acts of editorial sedition. I Franklin, N.C. thoritative and stern: “The FBI in Wildroot Cream Oil in my hair and UNH’s student newspaper, could had nothing to fear. David: Peace and War.” Then come trum- a pack of Lucky Strikes in my pock- I be on their list? Suddenly my Donald J. Trump, on the other Thanks very much for this contribu- pets in marching-band cadence: “Da et. crime-fighting heroes from the 50’s hand, apparently has plenty to fear. tion to our collective understanding. Da Da Da Daht-di-dah!” Fast-forward to 1967. UNH and become a source of anxiety and fear. In fact, it’s difficult to watch the The Editor Time for another suspense-filled Dartmouth are awash in student When they’re not looking at you, President’s increasingly erratic be- –=≈=– thriller revealing the heroic exploits protest while New Hampshire’s it’s easy to view FBI agents as apolit- havior as the Mueller investigation Fearing the FBI of America’s premier law-enforce- conservative-led press and state gov- ical, buttoned-down, crime-fighting progresses and not smell his escalat- To the Editor: ment agency. I listen in suspense as ernment are lashing out to suppress professionals waging war on bank ing fear as it boils upward to form I’m six years old and the kitchen is I learn that good always triumphs it. With revolution in the air, rumors robbers, bootleggers, smugglers, a giant mushroom cloud over the dark, except for a glowing dial-light over evil, although often barely in abound in Durham that the FBI is spies, and killers. However, should White House! revealing the Emerson table-model the nick of time. I also learn the best in town to conduct surveillance and you become a “person of interest,” Rick Littlefield radio perched on a shelf. From the way to impress a girl might be with identify “subversives.” As political it takes only seconds to realize you Barrington, N.H.

The New Hampshire Gazette The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ Published Fortnightly on Alternate Fridays Founder: Daniel Fowle (1715 – 1787) Mike Dater’s Enslaved Pressman: Primus X (ca. 1700 – 1793) cartoon originals PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 and other drawings by the New Hampshire Gazette’s www.nhgazette.com • [email protected] very own (603) 433-9898 starving artiste Subscriptions: $25 per year for 26 issues www.MikeDater.com Mailed First Class See Page Five for Subscription Form

Editor: Steven Fowle • Starving Artiste: Michael Dater Business (Such As It Is) Manager: Rose Eppard Columnist: William Marvel • 100 Proof Department: Rose Eppard, Marcia Jebb, and Allen McGee; Jane Porter, Emerita • Freelance Instigator & Unindicted Co-conspirators: Win Rhoades & Jack Cleary • Distributor: New England Distribution Network • Downtown Distribution Volunteers: Megan “Moonbeam” Stelzer, Murph, Jon Wyckoff, David Drymon, & Bob Halperin • Subscription Fulfillment: Sally Strazdins, Gail Drobnyk, Pat Day, Rose Eppard, Sharon Churchill & Jan Marx The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018 — Page 7

What are Trump & Co. really up to? by Jim Hightower example, he stacked his economic on new rules to benefit their ilk at ization; limiting fines on nursing protections, and basic needs—all or- policy team with not one, but five our expense, including: Reducing home abuses; eliminating funds for chestrated to free a tiny minority of emember Trump-the-candi- top executives from one of Wall penalties for Wall Street fraud and low-income heating and for pro- moneyed powers to run roughshod date promising working-class Street’s most abusive banksters, gouging; allowing restaurant chain grams to protect children from lead over the great majority of Ameri- Rvoters that he’d be Wall Street’s Goldman Sachs. What about bring- executives to seize and pocket the paint; repealing fracking rules that cans. Don’t just get agitated about worst nightmare, cracking down ing such legitimate voices as con- tips that customers give to waiters protect our water and air quality; al- it—get to agitating. Public Citizen hard on greedy financial thieves sumers, workers, and poor people to and other service workers; letting lowing for-profit private colleges to can help connect you to a myriad of whose scams and schemes are his policy making table? Nope, none. corporations bring in more low- gouge students; and raising entrance rebellious grassroots groups: www. wrecking the middle class? Where So, since we don’t have a seat at wage foreign workers to take our fees at our national parks. citizen.org. did that guy go? the table, we’re on the menu! Trump jobs; scrapping a rule to help assure These are just a few of Trump Copyright 2017 by Jim Hightower Trump-the-President has become and his crew of voracious corporate equal pay to women; opening up & Company’s ongoing rush-rush, & Associates. Contact Laura Ehrlich Wall Street’s wildest wet dream. For plutocrats are gorging themselves Social Security to cuts and privat- hush-hush assaults on our rights, ([email protected]).

Gene Sharp: Non-Violent Strategist the crime for the President ignoring To the Editor: an attack on our democracy? What Numerous international media is the crime for those in Congress (BBC, Guardian) reported this week with the power to fix this disaster, on the death in Boston of Professor en’s rebellion of Lysistrata in 400 President of the United States. Mr. but choosing instead to ignore and Gene Sharp, a person very well- BC and Martin Luther King’s bel Peace Prize. However, his main Trump not only denies that the at- even enable the threat to our coun- known globally to people who were fight for civil rights in our country. legacy for sure will be that he was tack has taken place, he has claimed try? oppressed or had been living under a He held positions at both UMass able see his own ideas put to practi- that our entire intelligence commu- Rich DiPentima, LTC USAF, Ret. dictator, but someone who was quite Dartmouth and Harvard College. cal use by democratic activists, who nity is wrong and is incompetent. Portsmouth, N.H. obscure for most Americans. He was His ideas were compelling, deep but now live in countries that were once Mr. Trump, to prove that there was Rich: world-renowned because unlike always with an eye on what works. ruled by dictators. no such attack, asked the leader of Imagine Obama trying to get away many academics, he was not only a That is why in 1993 his Albert Ein- State Rep. Peter Somssich Russia, the nation who conducted with what Trump’s obviously doing. historian of non-violent action, but stein Institute in Boston published Portsmouth, N.H. the attack, if he had attacked our na- The Editor: he also published a 92-page practical the booklet: “From Dictatorship to –=≈=– tion. Mr. Putin, the current Dictator –=≈=– how-to guide. Democracy,” which was soon trans- A Thought Experiment of Russia, former KGB Agent for “Unfunded Liabilities”? Hell, No! I first became aware of Sharp’s lated into 31 languages. This how-to To the Editor: the former Soviet Union, and who To the Editor: writing after I joined Amnesty In- guide has been used by democratic Imagine the following scenario. blames the West for the demise of Think tank pundits use the term ternational in Germany, where I had activists in many countries to fight The United States is clandestinely the Soviet Union and who seeks re- “Unfunded Liability.” It is a false just started my college education at oppression and overthrow dictators, attacked by an adversarial foreign venge, denies Russia conducted such phrase. Medicare, Medicaid and the University of Heidelberg. Am- e.g. in Angola, Egypt, Serbia, Thai- nation. The attack does serious an attack. Mr. Trump accepts Mr. Social Security are the only govern- nesty works for the release of hu- land, Ukraine, Burma, and some of damage to our most basic dem- Putin’s denial as the truth, and dis- ment costs directly funded by their man rights victims, or Prisoners of the Arab Spring countries. In some ocratic institution; free elections. misses the assessment of the attack own dedicated tax—FICA. Conscience, who did not advocate countries, possession of this booklet That attack was verified by the en- by his own intelligence agencies. I bet if Wal-Mart and Amazon for or use violence. My curiosity re- is enough to be arrested. tire Intelligence and national securi- Mr. Trump fails to impose the new had to pay a dedicated tax to fund garding how to fight oppression and While he was a great admirer of ty apparatus of the attacked country. sanctions required by the law passed the Pacific Fleet nobody would call dictatorships using non-violent ac- Gandhi, Henry David Thoreau and The current Secretary of State ac- by the Republican Congress. Mr. it an unfunded liability. tions led me to read many of Sharp’s MLK, Sharp’s main motivation for knowledged the attack and warned Trump does nothing to mobilize Are Wal-Mart and Amazon en- writings, along with others such as using non-violent action was not of ongoing and future attacks by that the national security apparatus of titled to the protection the Pacific those of Prof. Theodor Ebert of Ber- a moral one, but because he was same hostile government. In retalia- the United States to protect against Fleet gives their goods? lin, Germany. Many of the prisoners convinced it was the most effective tion for this attack, the United States ongoing and future attacks by the Is this why we never question mil- that I worked for had in fact been weapon against a dictator and would Congress, controlled by the same Russian Government. itary spending? persecuted for making use of their result in the least number of casu- party as the current President, voted Never in the history of the Unit- Or is this what Republicans mean inherent human rights without re- alties. He always underscored that 98-2 in the Senate and 419-3 in the ed States has an attack by a foreign when they say entitlement reform? sorting to violence. Mr. Sharp was non-violent action is not passivity House to pass a bill imposing new power or terrorist organization gone Tom Laperriere educated at State University and will usually result in some loss economic and political sanctions on unanswered, until Mr. Trump came Milton, N.H. and Oxford, England. His Ph.D. of life, but that a violent revolution the government who attacked our to power. Mr. Trump said that those Tom: thesis “The Politics of Non-Vio- will be much bloodier. nation. who did not clap for him during the You’ve got a lot of nerve, mocking a lent Action” became the definitive He was honored with numerous Now consider, if you can, the recent State of the Union Address phrase that the oligarchy has spent so work on non-violent action, with international awards, and was also response to this non-fictional at- were being traitorous. If not clap- much money to promote. examples such as the Greek wom- nominated several times for the No- tack on our nation by the current ping for Trump is traitorous, what is The Editor

Colin A. McGee Enrolled Agent Expert tax preparation, consultation and representation for businesses and individuals 51 Penhallow Street, Portsmouth, NH 603 436 6518 Open 7 days! (603) 436-0707 • [email protected] Check our website for today’s specials! www.ceresbakery.com

HomeView Inc. Instant Maine Sales TAX REFUND!* Professional Property Inspections *N.H. Residents Only. Present this ad at appointment. Expert Service — All Makes & Models Timothy D. Rooney, President Madore (603) 770-0444 Electric (800) 836-2438 Residential & Commercial Wiring Service 9 Free Loaners! www.homeviewnh.com Serving the Seacoast since 1980 [email protected] Licensed in Maine, Massachusetts, & New Hampshire (603) 430-4500 [email protected] N.H. Lic. # 0027; Mass. Lic. # 420 Sid Madore (603) 234-9996 The Seacoast’s most trusted service for 41 years. ASHI Lic. #112597 107 Government St., Kittery

The Quality Gifts New Hampshire Gazette Come Get ‘em & is the most economical Have Fun Doing It! advertising medium on the Seacoast. This space is available for just sixteen dollars. To learn more, call (603) 433-9898, or e-mail Alternative Clothing & Goods [email protected]. 33 Vaughan Mall • Portsmouth, NH 03801 • (603) 431-2243 Page 8 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, February 16, 2018 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first whom you choose to believe. drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets all Badger’s Island, bobbing around in and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded The Piscataqua’s ferocious current gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around that water go. All the seawater that the current. It weighs several tons, Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded is caused by the tide, which, in fill 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, just fought its way upstream goes and it bobs and bounces in the oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the turn, is caused by the moon. The the river and into Great Bay. This under Memorial Bridge, past the back home to the ocean. This is current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, other player is a vast sunken valley creates a roving hydraulic conflict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. when the Piscataqua earns its title The river also has its placid mo- They leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-flowing navigable — Great Bay — about ten miles as incoming sea and the outgoing This can best be seen when the tide for xth fastest current. Look for the ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on upriver. Twice a day, the moon river collide. The skirmish line is rising. red buoy, at the upstream end of When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge. Sunday, February 18 Monday, February 19 Tuesday, February 20 Wednesday, February 21 Thursday, February 22 Friday, February 23 Saturday, February 24

2010—On Fox TV, 2009—A Robinson R44 helicopter 2016—In Michigan, an Über driver 2012—Caught by the Piscataqua’s 2006—A Robinson R22 makes a 2016—GOP Senators brazenly con- 2001—“My plan reduces the national modestly calls Thomas Paine “kind of explodes over the Tocumen, Panama between fares allegedly kills six people current during construction of the series of “popping sounds” over resi- spire to deny a hearing to Pres. Obama’s debt, and fast,” says G.W.[MD] Bush, the [Glenn Beck]” of his generation. airport; the pilot and two others die. in two separate shootings. New Memorial Bridge, the tugboat dential Scottsdale, Ariz., then crashes nominee to the Supreme Court. “…economists worry that we’re going 2007—The Washington Post reveals 2009—CNBC’s pitches 2005—Dr. Hunter S. Thompson Miss Stacy nearly sinks. between two houses. A prospective 2008—Because one maintenance to run out of debt to retire.” the sordid conditions at Walter Reed an anti-Obama fit from the floor of the takes his leave the way he lived—en- 2001—“You teach a child to read,” flight student using a gift certificate crew fails to warn another that humid 1991—Ground war against Iraq be- Army Hospital. Chicago Board of Trade. His convul- tirely on his own terms. says G.W.[MD] Bush, “and he or her dies, along with his instructor. air confuses its sensors, a $1.4 billion gins, amid concerns about anthrax and 2001—Ex-FBI Special Agent, devout sions spawn a Tea Party. 1985—After defending his WBC fly- will be able to pass a literacy test.’’ 2006— asks a ques- B-2 bomber crashes in Guam. botulism sold to Iraq by U.S. compa- Catholic, patron of strippers, and ex- 2000—“I understand small business weight title in London, Sot Chitalada 1988—Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart tion—the last one for 10 years. 2004—Rod Paige, U.S. Sec. of Edu- nies with the Commerce Dept.’s OK. hibitionist Robert Hanssen is arrested growth,” says George W.[MD] Bush, discovers he’s lost his $104,000 purse interrupts his usual broadcast to con- 2004—A Pentagon document leaks: cation, calls the nation’s largest teach- 1989—On United Airlines Flight 811 for selling U.S. secrets to the U.S.S.R., “I was one.” to a ringside pickpocket. fess to an unspecified but heinous sin. climate change may spell doom. ers union a “terrorist organization.” from Honolulu to New Zealand, nine then to the Russians. 1993—The pilot of a Robinson R22 1945—At Iwo Jima, Jacklyn “Jack” 1975—Three of R. Nixon’s former 1994—The FBI arrests a spy: CIA 1974—Days after presiding over his are sucked out a hole in the plane. 1999—Sen. Bob Smith declares for helicopter ignores proper procedure Lucas, 17, dives on one live grenade henchmen, John Mitchell, H.R. officer Aldrich Ames. paper’s 100th birthday, and owing 1988—Larry Flynt’s right to portray President. Hilarity ensues. and flies into a Cessna; both aircraft and pulls another under him. One Haldeman, and John Ehrlichman, are 1974—Samuel Byck, planning to mobsters thousands, Oakland Tribune Jerry Falwell losing his virginity to his 1970—Although the Chicago Seven crash at an Atlanta airport, four die. goes off, one doesn’t. He sets off metal sentenced to prison. crash an airliner into the White owner and ex-Sen. William Know- mother in an outhouse while intoxi- are found not guilty of conspiring to 1988—Prosecutors in Passaic Coun- detectors until dying at 80. 1965—Malcolm X is assassinated. House, carelessly shoots the pilot be- land (R-Calif.) shoots himself dead. cated is upheld by SCOTUS. incite riots, five are found guilty of ty, N.J., move to dismiss 1966 murder 1943—Hollywood film makers say 1958—British anti-nukers adopt the fore takeoff. He’s then shot dead, too. 1971—Lt. Wm. Calley confesses to 1988—At 1:17 a.m., Capitol police crossing state lines to incite riots. indictments against Rubin “Hurri- they’ll let the Office of War Informa- now-iconic “peace symbol.” 1967—Operation Junction City be- mass murder, and says his CO, Capt. carry Sen. Robert Packwood (R-Ore.) 1962—“We are going to win in Viet- cane” Carter. tion censor their movies. 1934—The U.S.-backed Nicaraguan gins in Vietnam—largest U.S. offen- E. Medina, ordered it. into the Senate chamber feet first to nam,” says Bobby Kennedy during a 1986—After due deliberation—37 1939—Fritz Kuhn, a German veteran National Guard assassinates rebel sive operation of the War. 1945—Five Marines, including Man- make up a quorum. stopover in Saigon. “We will remain years—Congress ratifies a UN treaty of WW I and naturalized U.S. citizen, leader Augusto Sandino. Legend says 1966—Barry Bondhus dumps human chester, N.H’s René A. Gagnon, plant 1942—Turned away from Istanbul, here until we do win.” outlawing genocide. leads 22,000 people in a pro-Nazi rally his head is then delivered to D.C. digestive byproduct on draft files in the U.S. flag atop Mt. Suribachi. “Do MV Struma, a decrepit hulk carrying 1952—Four Coast Guardsmen in a 1965—Protests against the Vietnam at Madison Square Garden. 1931—In Arequipa, Peruvian rev- Elk River, Minn. He gets 14 months. not glorify war,” he says later. “There’s 791 Jewish refugees, is torpedoed by a 36-foot lifeboat brave 70-knot winds War are held in 30 U.S. cities. 1862—Abe Lincoln’s son Willie dies olutionaries make Pan Am’s Byron 1965—Gen. Westmoreland asks LBJ nothing glorious about it.” Soviet sub. Sole survivor David Stoli- to rescue 32 sailors from the sinking 1964—The CIA informs the State of typhus at the age of 11. Rickards the first pilot ever hijacked; for Marines to protect the Danang 1942—The huge [356-foot] Japanese ar, 19, lives to be 91. Pendleton off Monomoy Island. and Defense departments that South 1815—Almost two months after the 30 years later he’s hijacked again. airbase. Despite Ambassador Taylor’s submarine I-17 fires more than a doz- 1942—Anti-aircraft guns in Los An- 1930—Acting on a tip from Veep Vietnam is making little progress Treaty of Ghent ends the War of 1812, 1930—Witnesses faint and qualms, LBJ says “OK.” en 5.5 inch rounds at the Richmond geles fire 1,400 rounds at a weather Chas. Curtis, T-Man R. Butts busts against the Viet Cong. the U.S.S. Constitution captures two abandons hanging after “Cheerful 1965—Sam Lovejoy cuts down a oil refinery near Santa Barbara, Calif. balloon. Three are trampled to death George Cassiday, Congress’s favorite 1945—In a Burmese mangrove British sloops off the coast of Portugal. Eva” Dugan’s accidentally-decapitat- weather tower for a proposed nuke 1922—Henri Landru is executed in in the resulting panic and dozens more bootlegger, with six quarts of gin in swamp, several hundred Japanese sol- 1725—Indian fighters under Captain ed head rolls across the floor. plant in Montague, Mass. France for having 11 wives. (Hadn’t are injured. the Senate parking lot. diers are killed by crocodiles. John Lovewell take 10 scalps from 1922—The Italian-made U.S. Army 1945—Rep. John Rankin [D-Miss.] he suffered enough?) 1922—Lewis Vernon Harcourt, 1st 1930—Elsworth W. Bunce becomes 1942—FDR puts 120,000 Ameri- Indians killed in Wakefield, New airship Roma crashes in Norfolk, Va., calls Rep. Frank Hook [D-Mich.] a 1868—In Great Barrington, Mass., Viscount Harcourt and former British the first man to milk a cow aboard an cans into concentration camps. Hampshire, which they later redeem killing 34 in the nation’s greatest aero- Communist, whereupon Hook calls W.E.B. Du Bois is born. Secretary of State for the Colonies, airplane in flight. 1940—German destroyers in the in Boston for £100 each. nautical disaster to date. Rankin a “God damned liar.” Rankin, 1836—The siege of the Alamo begins. commits suicide rather than face ex- 1916—Having pled guilty to poison- North Sea mistakenly fire at Luft- 1524—In Germany, Count von Ig- 1437—Fleeing assassins, James I of 63 and 140 lbs., attempts to punch out 1775—“Give me liberty, or give me posure as a pederast. ing his wife, in anticipation of a life waffe bombers. The bombers sink two gleheim is stoned to death by a mob, Scotland enters a sewer under his ten- Hook, 52 and 195 lbs., to little effect. death,” says Patrick Henry — maybe. 1836—Rep. and N.H. native Jona- sentence, Oscar Comery is hanged in- destroyers; 578 sailors die. angry at his refusal to let them board a nis court. Blocked by a grate he had 1837—In the White House, Andy 1455—In Mainz, Germany, Johannes than Cilley [D-Maine], is killed in the stead by the State of New Hampshire. 1847—Rescuers reach the leftovers of three-story ark he had built to escape a installed days earlier to prevent tennis Jackson celebrates Washington’s Gutenberg begins the world’s first 3rd volley of a rifle duel by Rep. Wil- An underage girlfriend sealed his fate. the Donner Party. predicted apocalyptic flood. ball loss, he’s stabbed to death. Birthday with a 1,400 pound cheese. print job: the Bible. liam Graves [Whig-Ky.]. 12:38 12:48 1:13 1:27 1:51 2:10 2:34 2:57 3:22 3:51 4:16 4:52 5:17 5:58

6:36 7:00 7:17 7:38 7:59 8:19 8:46 9:05 9:39 9:57 10:38 10:54 11:42 11:57

Sunday, February 25 Monday, February 26 Tuesday, February 27 Wednesday, February 28 Thursday, March 1 Friday, March 2 Saturday, March 3

2011—“[A]ny future Defense Sec- 2003—Saddam Hussein tells inter- 2014—Senate Republicans block a 1997—A blue dress becomes soiled. 2002—U.S. forces in Afghanistan 2004—Oops—UN weapons in- 2016—Donald Trump asserts on live retary who advises the President to viewer Dan Rather he would like to bill to fund veterans health care be- 1997—Two heavily armed—and begin Operation Anaconda, aimed at spectors report that Saddam Hussein television that his genitalia are of ade- again send a big American land army debate George W.[MD] Bush on TV. cause it would cost too much. armored—men rob a North Holly- capturing or killing Taliban fighters in didn’t have WMDs after all. quate proportions. into Asia or into the Middle East or 1998—After a Robinson R22 heli- 2003—Deputy Sec. of Def. Paul wood, Calif. bank. Twelve police are the Shah-i-kot Valley. 2002—A U.S. gunship mistakenly 1991—A troublemaker videotapes Africa should have his head exam- copter makes a loud “schwapp-like Wolfowitz says “the notion that it wounded, the two robbers die. 1985—President Reagan calls the fires on a U.S./Afghan convoy during Los Angeles Police officers vigorously ined,” says Defense Sec. Gates. noise,” it plummets to earth near Lit- will take several hundred thousand 1993—The ATF bungles an assault Nicaraguan Contras “the moral Operation Anaconda. Afghan sol- chastising motorist Rodney King. 2003—Army Chief of Staff Eric tlerock, Calif., killing its pilot. U.S. troops to provide stability in on a heavily armed colony of religious equivalent of our Founding Fathers.” diers flee. The remaining U.S. forces 1974—Poor latch design causes a door Shinseki warns Senators that Secre- 1993—A truck bomb explodes be- post-Saddam Iraq, [is] wildly off the wackos in Waco. 1978—Charlie Chaplin’s corpse is are attacked by the Taliban. to fall off a DC-10 over France. Six tary of Defense Rumsfeld’s plan to oc- neath the World Trade Center in mark.” 1991—“By God,” says George Her- stolen and held for ransom. It’s re- 1974—Spain executes anarchist Al- passengers whoosh to their deaths; an cupy Iraq dramatically underestimates NYC; 6 are dead, 1,000 injured. 2001—Rep. David Vitter [R-La.] bert [Hoover] Walker Bush, “we’ve trieved two months later. vador Puig Antich by garrot. ensuing crash kills 340 more. troop requirements. 1991—George Herbert [Hoover] skips a House vote honoring 28 Des- kicked the Vietnam Syndrome once 1971—The Weather Underground 1965—The U.S. begins a bombing 1969—An under-manned company 1991—Mechanized units of “The Walker Bush admits the U.S. has been ert Storm KIAs to take a call from the and for all.” bombs the U.S. Capitol. campaign over North Vietnam, under of the 4th Division is sent after a crack Big Red One” complete their break- supporting the Khmer Rouge. D.C. Madam. 1986— calls reporters 1954—After 39 combat missions in the brand name Rolling Thunder.™ NVA batallion west of Kontum; re- through of Iraq’s defensive line, hav- 1982—A Robinson R22 helicopter 1986—Ferdinand and Imelda Mar- “sons-of-bitches” for asking questions Korea, Ted Williams breaks his col- 1944—Fumes from a locomotive sult: 47 percent end up KIA or MIA. ing buried hundreds, if not thousands, loses its tail rotor over San Marcos, cos are chased out of the Philippines during a photo-op; press aide Larry larbone at spring training. stalled in an Italian tunnel kill 521. 1955—Elvis Presley appears on the of Iraqi troops alive. Texas. The pilot dies when it crashes. by their own people. Speakes explains he really said, “It’s 1954—H-bomb test Castle Bravo de- 1942—Lt. Gen. John DeWitt an- Ed Sullivan Show, setting in motion 1988—Sam Donaldson broadcasts 1974—A Senate report finds close ties 1975—The FDA recalls a batch of sunny and you’re rich.” livers thrice its expected yield at Biki- nounces all Japanese-Americans will the inevitable collapse of Western excerpts from President Reagan’s between Ford Motor Co. and Nazis. 1,241 GE pacemakers—after they’ve 1958—In New York, a first batch of ni Atoll. Unanticipated winds spread be required to move away from the Civilization. schedule, making it clear he still reads 1972—Pittston Coal’s cheap-jack all been implanted. 27 people die after drinking “King millions of tons of radioactive debris West Coast and should do so volun- 1949—The Tucker automobile com- scripts for a living. dam on Buffalo Creek in West Vir- 1973—The American Indian Move- Kong” moonshine. over occupied islands. tarily for their own good. pany crashes. 1968—“I do not believe Hanoi can ginia collapses killing 118, injuring ment occupies Wounded Knee. 1947—Taiwanese civilians riot over 1954—Four Puerto Rican nation- 1877—The Compromise of 1877 1934—John Dillinger busts out of the hold up under a long war,” says Gen. 1,121, and leaving 5,000 homeless. 1970—The New York Times reports corruption, Koumintang forces re- alists in the Gallery fire 30 rounds hands over the Presidency to Ruther- Crown Point, Ind. jail with a hand- William Westmoreland. The company ends up paying less than that the U.S. Army no longer conducts spond by killing thousands. towards the floor of the U.S. House, fraud B. Hayes and southern blacks to carved wooden pistol and drives off in 1913—The IWW’s Paterson, N.J. $15,000 per casualty. illegal domestic surveillance; untrue 1921—The Kronstadt Rebellionwounding five U.S. Congressman. the tender mercies of southern whites. the sheriff’s new V-8 Ford. strike begins; Concord, N.H.’s Eliz- 1970—NPR incorporates. then, and now. against bolshevism begins in Russia. 1953—Joseph Stalin spends the day 1860— visits the 1931—“The Star-Spangled Banner” abeth Gurley Flynn helps organize. 1954—A C-119 “Flying Boxcar” 1968—Walter Cronkite says on the “Shoot them down like partridges,” lying in a puddle of urine because his Amoskeag mills, then speaks at City becomes our national anthem. 1899—In London, Edwin Sewell, 31, buzzes the Huntingdon, Tenn., court- CBS Nightly News that “we are mired orders Leon Trotsky. aides don’t dare open his door. Hall in Dover. 1927—In Wales, J.G. Parry-Thomas, becomes the first automobile driver to house, then crashes, killing four on in stalemate” in Vietnam. 1893—Birth of Ben Hecht, author of 1910—In Wellington, Wash., an ava- 1859—Pierce M. Butler, grandson of while attempting to set a land speed die in a car wreck. board and injuring two on the ground. 1962—Renegade South Vietnamese The Front Page. lanche pushes two trains 150 feet into a signer of the Constitution, sells 439 record, is decapitated by a broken drive 1870—Erstwhile minister Hiram 1906—Pianist and Bolshevik Nikolay pilots bomb Saigon’s Presidential Pal- 1877—The U.S. seizes the Black the Nye River, killing 96. men, women, and children in a two- chain while going 170 mph. Rhodes Revels (R-Miss.) becomes the Burenin, with 15 comrades, rob the ace with U.S. airplanes. Hills, in violation of a treaty. 1906—Emma Goldman publishes day auction in Savannah, Ga., to settle 1913—Eight thousand Suffragists first black U.S. Senator. Helsinki branch of the Russian State 1938—Britain and France recognize 1854—A group of political activists the first issue of her anarchist newspa- his gambling debts. march down Pennsylvania Avenue; 1836—Colt patents the six gun. Bank to fund the Revolution. Franco’s fascist government. meet in Ripon, Wisc., and may or may per, Mother Earth. 1807—Congress votes to prohibit the 200 are injured by misogynists. 1836—Joice Heth, formerly exhibited 1860—Encouraged to do so by the 1933—Nazis burn the Reichstag and not found the GOP. 1872—Yellowstone, the world’s first importation of slaves; only 250,000 or 1873—The “Salary Grab Act” raises by P.T. Barnum as George Washing- local paper, a small band of white men blame the Commies. 1840—Joshua V. Hines begins pub- national park, is created. so are subsequently imported illegally. Congressional pay retroactively. ton’s 162 year-old “Mammy,” is autop- massacre about 150 Wiyot Indians, 1902—To his firing squad, Lieut. lishing Signs of the Times, a newspaper 1860—Abraham Lincoln speaks at 1805—Aaron Burr, first Vice Presi- 1863—The first U.S. draft law passes, sied before 1,500 paying spectators in mostly old men, women, and children, Harry “Breaker” Morant says “Shoot devoted to William Miller’s Dooms- Phenix Hall in Concord, N.H., and dent to shoot a man, resigns from the exempting men who can pay the gov- New York City, at Barnum’s behest. in Humboldt County, Calif. straight, you bastards.” day prophecies. again later in Manchester. Senate for other unrelated reasons. ernment a $300 bribe. 6:22 7:06 7:27 8:11 8:30 9:11 9:28 10:05 10:22 10:56 11:13 11:44 12:02

12:47 1:02 1:52 2:06 2:52 3:06 3:48 4:02 4:39 4:55 5:27 5:45 6:13

“It takes four men to dress a salad: a madman for the pepper, a miser for the vinegar, a spendthrift for the oil, and CRESCENT a wise man for the salt.” — Unknown AROMATICS

Kate Leigh 94B Pleasant St Therapeutic Massage, Portsmouth, New Hampshire 03801 Aromatherapy & Bodywork 603.501.8813 crescentaromatics.com Jill Vranicar • Kate Leigh • Dana Lincoln

Come in and check out your community’s 16 Market Square, Portsmouth, NH Next to City Hall in Downtown Dover, NH new aromatics shop Since 2011 offering products, services, and classes. (603) 436-6006 3 Hale Street j (603) 742-1737 7 Commercial Alley ~ 766-1616 www.portsmouthsaltcellar.com